08x06 - Meet the OddParents

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky ♪

♪ Always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom

♪ Up in his room

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish ♪

♪ Who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings!

- Floaty crowny things!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- ♪ Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake ♪

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you're the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right!

[Upbeat jazz music]

♪

[Kids cheering]

- Whee!

- Woo-hoo! Timmy land is awesome!

- Sport, isn't this a little risky?

Wishing for an amusement park

In your backyard when your parents are home?

- Relax, wanda.

Timmy's parents are too clueless to notice.

Hey, how'd we get on a roller coaster?

[Cheering]

- Wait a minute!

Something very weird is going on here!

I never bought timmy a football!

Where did this come from?

I have to get to the bottom of this at once!

Plus, I hate mowing the lawn.

Oop, 'scuse me, bobo!

Honey, have you noticed anything strange around the house?

[Kids cheering]

- Nope, not a thing.

Although, now that you mention it,

There is something strange.

Someone stole my lipstick.

- Oh, that was me.

I borrowed your lipstick to write creepy messages

On dinkleberg's mirror!

- Honey, the ghost is back and he wants us to leave.

- Actually, I'm talking about

Something strange going on with timmy.

- Well, now that you mention it,

I have noticed some strange things.

- Avast, ye matey!

Where be your conditioner?

Aar-aar!

- That's strange.

There's usually a dinosaur in there.

[Both snoring]

- Uhh! Honey, we're in outer space again.

I forget, does this mean we turn

The clocks forward or back?

- That's odd.

- I know, we don't have a ping-pong table!

- Strange things are definitely going on around here.

- Guh! Maybe it's the work of dinkleberg's ghost!

Oh, wait, that's me.

- No! You were right before the flashbacks.

I think timmy is somehow

Behind all this freaky weirdness.

- Well, as a responsible father

Who once used a parenting book

To stoke the fire on a cold winter night,

I say there's only one thing to do.

- Totally violate timmy's privacy

And spy on him /?

- Yes! And I get to be a detective...

Which will give me another excuse not to mow the lawn!

- Aah!

- It was a cold, rainy night in dimmsdale.

The wind was howling like dinkleberg

When I backed over his foot with my car.

I was dog tired, which is weird

Because my dog was man tired!

- [Snoring]

- But there was a mystery gnawing

At my brain like the rabid coyote

I had put in dinkleberg's bed.

It had to do with a kid.

My kid.

- Honey, what are you doing in the bathroom?

And how are you talking without moving your mouth?

- It's called narration. All detectives do it.

- Well, if we're going to spy on timmy,

We should get started.

- The dame in the cheap dress had a point.

- You're doing it again.

- Sorry.

- Guys, I got a problem.

<Span>crash nebula's</span>on and I do not feel like sitting up.

- I'm on it, timmy.

[Shimmering tone]

- [Whispers] hey, wait, I think I'm in your spot.

Let's switch.

[Gibberish]

That's better.

- [Gasps] that's weird! A floating tv.

- There's only one possible explanation.

Timmy's a witch!

- No wonder my broom's been missing!

- Actually, I took the broom to sweep

A black widow under dinkleberg's door.

By the way, the only thing I hate more

Than mowing the lawn is sweeping.

[Teeth chattering]

- Before we burn timmy at the stake,

Let's make sure he really is a witch.

- Well, if we do the stake thing,

I have plenty of parenting books

To get that fire going.

[Loud crash, rattling]

- Oh no! I hear dinkleberg's ghost!

- Honey, you're dinkleberg's ghost.

That's the ice maker.

- Thanks for helping me

With my history paper, christopher columbus.

So what are the names of your three ships?

- [Speaking italian] <span> chi siete?</Span>

<Span>cosa avete fatto a me?</Span>

- Ah, great. He only speaks italian.

Let's poof him back and grab some pizza.

I'll just get the names of the ships online.

- Christopher columbus?

There's only one possible explanation.

Timmy's italian!

- No, dear, I think timmy's a time traveler.

- Well, either way my bubble pipe's frozen.

Unh! Unh!

- The more we watch timmy, the freakier this mystery gets.

- And the more birds nest in my hat!

Eeech! Eeech!

- We never bought timmy all those toys.

- There's only one possible explanation.

Timmy's blackmailing santa!

Aaah!

[Crash] lawnmower! Lawnmower!

Lawnmower! [Lawnmower engine rumbling]

[Cheers and applause]

- Sport, I still think you've been

Getting a little careless.

- You mean because he ran over his pit crew,

Which was me?

- No, I'm talking about his wishes.

Timmy, a race track in your bedroom

And an amusement park in your backyard?

Aren't you worried your parents will catch you?

- No way!

I've had you guys for a really long time,

And they've never suspected a thing.

Besides, it's not like they're spying on me.

- Timmy! We've been totally spying on you!

All: aah!

[Screaming]

- Aah! Guys! Do something!

- To the fish bowl!

Aah! Eek!

To the window!

Aah!

Eek! To the hospital!

- It's no use, son. The jig is up.

- We know your secret.

- Ah! You were right, wanda.

I got careless, and now I'm totally busted.

- That's right, son. You might as well fess up.

- Well... - Timmy, no!

- Poof! Poof!

- It's too late-- my mom and dad know

I have...

Fairy god parents.

- Say what now?

- We thought you were a time traveling italian witch

Who's blackmailing santa.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Timmy's italian?

Aloha, timmy! <Span> voulez vous no burrito grande?</Span>

- Oh, no! What have I done?

I should have known my parents were too

Clueless to figure out the truth.

- Now say that in italian.

- I can't believe you have fairy god parents, timmy.

Where are they now?

- Agh, right here... Next to me?

The floating people with the wings?

And the wands? Would it help if I pointed?

Mom, dad, this is cosmo, wanda and poof.

All: hello!

- So you're magical creatures who watch over timmy?

- That's right. We grant his every wish.

- No matter how selfish,

Irresponsible, or horribly dangerous.

[Whispers] the kid's got a lot of problems.

- I can't believe it.

Actual fairies living in my house.

Dinkleberg's only got a ghost.

Ha! Oh, wait.

- Well, I feel like I'm being a bad hostess.

Do fairies like brownies and lemonade?

I could make some.

- Don't bother, I've got it.

- Ooh! That's amazing!

- But I like mine with nuts.

No, I meant my lemonade.

- Really? I thought I was the only one

Who liked nuts in my lemonade!

- Timmy, I love these nuts!

- We love you, too.

[Glasses clinking]

- Yeah, well don't get too attached to my fairies.

Now that you know about them, they won't be around for long.

- Oh, dear, why's that?

- 'Cause according to the rules,

Once anyone finds out you have fairies,

Jorgen, the head fairy,

Comes and takes them away forever.

I don't wanna lose you guys.

This is the worst day of my life.

- [Crying]

One of the birds bit my ear!

- This is terrible. Oh, I know!

What if we just don't tell this jorgen fellow that we know?

- It's not that simple.

- Actually, sport, it is that simple.

If jorgen never finds out

That your parents know about us,

We can stay!

- Really? Please, mom and dad,

You gotta help me keep the secret.

Wanda, cosmo, and poof are more than just my fairies,

They're like family.

- Timmy, your secret's safe with me.

- What about you, dad?

- Get me a crazy straw for my nutty lemonade, and I'm in!

- Poof! Poof! - Yay!

- This is awesome! I get to keep my fairies!

We'll be like one, big, happy family

And jorgen will never know!

- [Angry voice] turner!

- Aah! It's jorgen! Quick, guys!

Hide my parents.

- And my nuts!

[expl*si*n]

- Timmy turner, you're in terrible trouble!

There is no excuse for what you have done!

- Jorgen, I can explain.

I got a little careless, and I messed up.

Please don't take my fairies away.

- What are you talking about?

- What are you talking about?

- What are <span>you talking about?</Span>

- What are <span>you</span>talking about?

- What are <span>you talking about?</Span>

- What are <span>you</span>talking about?

- I'm talking about the fact that you

Wished up an amusement park

In your backyard and didn't invite me!

You know how much I like the swan boats.

- Yes, I do. And I feel terrible.

What was I thinking, guys?

[Nervous laughter]

- What was he thinking?

Well, you sure weren't thinking

That your parents found out you had fairies.

Unh! Aah!

[Nervous laughter]

- Heh heh. It's hard to laugh with a broken funny bone.

- Wait a minute. Cosmo, what did you just say?

- I have no idea.

The blow to the head also destroyed my short term memory.

Jorgen, when did you get here?

- Turner, something is not right here.

- I'll tell you what's not right.

There's an amusement park in my backyard

And you're not in it.

- Oh! I do love amusement parks.

The rides, the games, the screams of terror

Filling the air.

People vomiting into trash cans.

- Yeah, well, it's open hours,

So there's no reason for you to ever come back here.

- Poof, poof!

- Poof wants to go too!

- Here's a couple of fairy fast passes.

- Knock yourselves out, guys.

- Come on, poof.

- Just promise me you won't be

A scaredy-cat on the big boy rides.

- Poof, poof.

- Yeah, you say that now.

- Phew! That was close.

Cosmo, where'd you hide my parents?

- Well, I was gonna put them in the closet,

But then I thought, "that's crazy."

So I shrunk them down to the size of mice

Then poofed them into the front yard

Where that vicious stray cat's been living.

- What?

Both: aaah!

[Cat meowing]

Both: aaah!

[Cat meowing]

- Aah! I picked a bad day to fill my pockets with salmon!

[Cat meowing]

Both: aah!

Both: aah!

- Timmy, there's a giant cat outside!

- Even worse, the grass is, like, ten feet tall.

Oh, I never should've stopped mowing it.

- It's okay, guys.

You're safe, and jorgen is totally clueless.

Man, am I glad that I don't have to hide

My secret from you guys anymore!

- Well, it was nice meeting you,

But I do have a lot of chores to do.

I have to wash the dishes,

Do the laundry, and tar the driveway.

- And I've gotta continue terrorizing dinkleberg.

[Crazy laugh]

- Wait, mom and dad.

Now that you know about my fairies,

They can use their magic to help you out.

As long as we don't get carried away.

Right, guys?

- Sure, sport, we'll just keep things under the radar.

- I wish you'd help my parents do their chores.

- Abracadabra.

- You never say that.

- Well, they're new.

I figured I might as well sell it.

- Wow, that's just like magic!

- It is magic. That's why I said abracadabra.

- What about dinkleberg?

- Dinkleberg's not a magic word!

Unless it's italian. Is it, timmy?

- Just do it.

- Abraca-dinkleberg!

- Hey, kitty. Remember me?

I'm the guy who always leaves

A saucer of milk out for you.

Oh, muffin, we're gonna have a magical adventure together!

Onward to the rainbow forest!

- Guh! Timmy, your fairies are amazing!

They're way better than that leprechaun across the street.

- Honey, we've been over this.

Mr. Shanahan isn't a leprechaun.

He's a horse jockey at the race track.

- Likely story.

I don't want your gold anymore, shanahan!

I've got magical fai--

Guh!

- Sorry, timmy's dad.

But remember, we have to keep things quiet.

- Oh, okay.

Can I wish for some new makeup?

- Ooh, and I could really use a new set of golf clubs.

With a talking golf ball, so I never lose it.

- Anything for my mom and dad!

- Wow, this is wonderful,

But I really don't need the mirror.

- Fore!

[High-pitched scream]

- I'm under the living room couch.

- It works!

- You should really dust under here.

- Lose the attitude, ball!

- Thank you, timmy's fairies!

This is wonderful!

- And it's just the beginning.

My fairies can grant any wish you ask for,

As long as we keep it from jorgen.

- I cannot shake the feeling that turner

Is up to something.

Hold on, poof.

I am going to turn everything black and white.

Something wasn't sitting well with me.

And it wasn't just the stale churro

And big pretzel I had eaten.

- Poof, poof? - It is called narration.

All detectives do it.

I knew I was going to have to keep an eye on turner.

Right after I rode the timmy twister.

- Poof! Poof! - Whee! Yah!

- Ooh! The talking guitar I wished for!

[Playing rock guitar tune]

- Your fingers are cold!

- Don't sass me, guitar!

Go wait under the couch with the golf ball!

- Turner!

- Aah! It's jorgen! Cosmo, quick!

Hide my parents!

All: [screams]

- Ha! I have done a little detective work, turner.

I even made things black and white

Until I realized it hid my tan.

I have deduced that you have been

Making some suspicious wishes.

Exhibit "a," why do you need makeup?

- To highlight my cheekbones?

- Okay, I buy that.

But how do you explain this cappuccino maker

And copy of <span> house wife</span>magazine?

- Oh, those are mine.

I like to sip fancy coffees while reading articles

About how to throw a dinner party on a budget.

Oh, look!

" Fancy cheese dishes to please your hungry man!"

- Okay, case closed.

Why don't you and poof head back to the amusement park?

I hear the turner of terror is really cool.

- All right, but I will be watching you, turner!

[expl*si*n]

- Phew, another close call.

Cosmo, where did you hide my parents?

- Well, I was just gonna throw a blanket over them.

But then I thought, "that's crazy."

So I shrunk them down to the size of acorns

And poofed them into the tree

Where that rabid squirrel's been living.

- [Screams] - [growling]

- I picked a bad day to fill my pockets with squirrel kibble!

Both: [screaming]

- Timmy! Oh, that was terrifying.

My entire life passed before my eyes.

And it was boring!

- Don't worry, dad.

Your life won't be boring anymore.

The same goes for you, mom!

'Cause you guys can wish for anything you want!

Both: anything?

- Anything.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to <span>the mom show.</Span>

And now, you know her, you love her,

You can't tar your driveway without her...

Mom!

- Thanks timmy! Hi, everyone!

I don't have any guests tonight

Because I don't want them

To take the attention away from me.

[All chanting] mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

- We interrupt this program for an important message

From the president of the united states.

- My fellow americans and dinkleberg,

Thank you for magically electing me president.

- I'm in the lincoln bedroom.

- Don't interrupt, golf ball!

So help me, I will take you out

With an air strike!

Anyway, as your president,

I hereby decree that every day is saturday!

Except for you, dinkleberg. For you, every day is tax day!

Ha ha! And look, my face is now on all the money!

Yay!

[Laughter]

- This is awesome!

Are you guys having as much fun as I am?

- You bet! I loved being president!

I had a b*llet proof car and all I had to do

Was ring a bell, and they'd make me meatballs.

- Mom, is there something else you wanted to wish for?

- Well, I have always wanted to see the world.

[French national anthem playing]

♪

[Screaming]

[Cars honking]

[Teeth chattering]

[Camels grunting] - aah!

[Exotic music]

- ♪ Fe la la la la

[Rock guitar music]

♪

[Laughter]

- Oh, timmy, that was the most

Wonderful day of my life!

- Mine too!

It was so great hanging out with my parents

And my godparents at the same time.

Thanks to you and your fairies, son,

My life is no longer boring.

There's just one more wish I'd like to make.

- Dad, we've been over this.

My fairies can't use their magic

To make camels extinct.

- No, no, no. This wish is for your mother.

You see, she lost her engagement ring

Soon after we were married,

And I could never afford to replace it.

So is that why she wears a meatball on her finger?

[Laughter]

- I'd really like to give your mom

The diamond ring she deserves.

- What a wonderful wish!

- Also, I want that meatball.

[Shimmering tone]

- [Gasps] oh, my ring!

Honey, I lost this years ago while I was

Trimming your ear hair.

- I know, you were so upset, you never got to my other ear.

- This is the perfect end to a perfect day.

- And it's all thanks to timmy and his fairies.

[expl*si*n]

- Aha! I caught you red handed, turner!

Your parents know you have fairies!

[All scream]

- How did you find out, jorgen?

- Call it a hunch. A sixth sense.

Also, the golf ball ratted you out.

- You never played with me!

- Why you double-crossing, dimpled demon!

Fore! - Aah!

[expl*si*n]

[Shudders] finally.

You're next, talking guitar!

- Turner, you know the rules.

Now that your parents know you have

Wanda, cosmo, and poof,

I have to take them away from you...

Forever.

[All crying]

- I just got my meatball back!

- No, jorgen! - Please, don't!

- Poof, poof?

- It's okay, guys.

It was worth it, 'cause you gave my parents

The time of their lives.

I'll be fine.

Mm, it's all good.

[Cries] it's not all good!

I'm not fine! I'm gonna miss you!

- Oh, timmy, as wonderful as today was,

We'd give everything up because we know now

How much your fairies mean to you.

- Listen, mr. Jorfmen, can't you

Just erase our memories and let timmy keep his fairies?

- It's not that simple, dad.

- Actually, it is that simple.

- Really? You'd do that for me?

Why?

- Because this was a very touching moment

Between all of you.

Also, I'm so grateful to be off of

The turner of terror that I'm in a really good mood.

- [Vomits] [all cheer]

- Of course, you realize I will have to poof away

All of this stuff you wished up.

- I'll happily give up my meatballs

So timmy can have his fairies.

- And I'll give up everything too.

I don't need a ring to be happy.

It was nice meeting you, cosmo,

Wanda, and poof.

Thanks for looking out for our son.

- And we always will.

- Then by the power vested in me

By fairy world and the county of whittier, california,

I now erase your memories!

Abraca-dinkleberg!

- Are you okay, sport?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

I had a great day with my parents and my godparents.

It was awesome having one big, happy family.

But you know what I realized?

- Never trust a talking golf ball?

- No, I realized I'm the luckiest kid ever.

'Cause I have two really cool families.

- Aah! - [Crazy laugh]

- You know, just 'cause my parents

Don't know about you guys doesn't mean I can't

Wish up nice things for them.

[Whispers]

[Chainsaw buzzing] - [crazy laugh]

Aah! Heh!

Honey! Honey! You won't believe it!

I found your long lost engagement ring!

Apparently it was in my hairy ear all this time!

Will you marry me again?

- Yes, I will!

If you take the hair off the ring.

- Oh!

Let's grab timmy and celebrate.

And let's bring his fish.

Maybe it's the noxious tar fumes,

But I'm starting to feel like

Those fish are part of the family too.

- Aw, that was a really sweet thing you did, sport.

- Maybe the noxious tar fumes have gone to my head,

But it feels like timmy's growing up.

No, it's the tar fumes.

I'm seeing spots, and my throat is swelling shut.

Geh!

- Come on, guys.

Let's go ride the turner of terror

With my parents!

- Poof, poof!

[All screaming]