[Music]
jeez looks like someone poked the ant
hill with a stick yeah last week of
school everyone's bugging out check it
out Walk of Shame the Walk of what
witness the Walk of Shame is
particularly prevalent during screw week
that unique time of the year when the
colision finally puts the moves on their
close friend of the opposite sex before
summer break the Walk of shamer can
easily be spotted often wearing clothing
of the person they just hooked up with
dude those look like your clothes nah I
see St oh I'm all out of n's hats lady
take n's box of
[Music]
shorts so come and talk to me on my
computer screen the best years of Our
Lives aren't as easy as they seem to get
the girl and make the great it's all a
show it's all a game and I would lose it
if I played but anyway you go out on
Friday night I'll stay in but that's all
right now you found back to
[Music]
come zizzy and zizzle there I had sex
with all the pretty girls on campus and
even some of the not so pretty ones now
I know you guys are busy bees this week
but if you want to get your security
deposit back make sure your dorm room is
super clean and anyone interested in
this super exciting world of AR anus can
get the straight poop from me after our
rap session all
right now I know the end of the year can
really bake your noodle so if anyone
wants to talk about their feelings of
separation anxiety with the
juggler
goodbye week is no excuse to break up
where will I live next year
mommy hungry nits I'm trying to squeeze
every last meal out of my meal card
can you believe we have an exam on
Saturday on Shabbat it's outrageous I'm
not going it's a religious thing man
Brody you're not Jewish that's not the
point this college I'm going to join the
peace course so I can smoke some of that
tropical some third world chick's ass
all night
long why is Kimmy so upset why is Mark
the drama guy hand on her shoulder will
Kimmy use this screw week as an excuse
to finally hook up with Mark the answers
to these questions and more on next
week's episode of who gives a rat's
ass oh this has been a freaking Kick-Ass
year don't you guys think so yo craigy
remember that time me you Ryan golden
Kagan found that goat damn that was the
most Rocco there's no one named reinold
or Kagan in our fraternity oh well I
know there was me and it was definitely
a goat Rocco can you grab a mop and help
us NOP okay who likes me raise your
hands listen Rocco I'm sure this doesn't
come as a surprise to you but we don't
like you in fact we hate you I don't
know why we let you in the fraternity in
the first place well I don't know why
all of you let a bunch of Brothers like
all of you in this rat either fine I
don't want to live here next year yeah
[Music]
yeah
connect your beam Canon beam sir how's
the packing going packing I'm not
packing M I'm building a life-size
replica of the Death Star you know when
this battle station is fully operational
uh sir we have to move in 3 days the
school year is almost over then we will
double our
no really sir we have to move the
emperor is coming here
sirasa stop quoting Star
Wars crap the little round guy is right
I'm going to have to leave my
room with the blast shield down I can't
even see how am I supposed to
fight hey guy did you know RA are not
allowed to sleep with students on their
floor I guess that means they'll have to
have sex on the bed my brothers can all
go to hell good to see you too Rocco do
you realize I'm supposed to vacate my
living quarters and find a new place to
dwell next semester like some some
pneumatic Jaa well why don't we all live
together next year wow Rocco that's
actually a great idea huh law of
averages I don't really want to leave my
room but I suppose living with you guys
would be the next best thing I'll do
whatever you guys tell me to do go k*ll
yourself ah you're funny guy we should
be
roommates cardboard box with no access
to running water or fresh air 3 ,000 a
month H sounds promising
guy
huh uh guys I'm going to go see what's
wrong with
Kimmy Kimmy hi you okay oh hi nits I'm
fine just fine no I'm not fine I have to
audition to continue the drama program
all the sophomores do and if I don't
make the cut I'll have to transfer to
another school yes I couldn't take the
humiliation of being anywhere near here
if they cut me uh I don't know what to
say you've said so much already I did
thank you for being someone I can talk
to you're so calm cool and collected
it's like nothing bothers
[Music]
you no
Kimmy what will I do without
her oh my God why did I do that now I
got no face a
[Music]
a you'll notice this next room has very
high
ceilings uh well we got a couple of
requirements I need to be met nits you
want to help me out of here huh what
thanks nits nice hustle okay there needs
to be a bar in the basement gimpy needs
a T1 line and Cal requested a
b whatever that is and there needs to be
a bar in the basement uh the toilet
works well guys the toilet's broken but
you
said you'll never catch the
broker damn I want one of those
scooters so what the hell's your problem
huh what oh uh Kimmy might not be coming
back to State you next year when when
she's really upset dude and she keeps
calling me to talk about it because she
thinks I'm all levelheaded and I like
listen to her and stuff so you're
shoulder to cry on God that's awesome it
puts you in the perfect position to
score with her come on nits it's screw
we Kimmy sitting there sobbing to you
about blah blah blah she gets all
emotional emotional leads to physical
and then you know you take advantage of
her just like we've always talked about
Rocco I would never pray on Kimmy's
vulnerability like that sure nit sure
and I'd never drink lard out of a Dirty
Ashtray for five
bucks well that was a waste of an
afternoon hey what's up with all the
socks on the doors don't you know
anything guy you put a sock on your door
when you're having sex so your roommate
doesn't walk in on you hey wait a minute
how come you never put a sock on our
door I don't wear socks guy so all of
these people are having sex right now
mhm
huh even the Douger getting it on stupid
screw
week hey guy I'm ready to start my ra
training super lesson one the doorknob
is the best place to dry your laundry
hello nit hey it's Kimmy sorry to bug
you I just really need to talk to
someone would you mind coming over come
over where my room uh
sure I'm going to see Kimmy's
room sorry my room is such a mess oh
it's not that messy are those rotten
cantaloupes yes my whole life is a mess
if I get kicked out of the acting
program I'll have wasted the last two
years of my life at this school and I
can't get Mark to notice me and blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah so many holes to fill so little
toothpaste this sucks being Kimmy's
shoulder to cry on is become a real pain
in the ass all she does is [ __ ] and
moan about everything no really I mean
do you have any idea what it's like when
the person you have feelings for
constantly complains to you and dumps
their problems on you and never shows
the slightest sign of gratitude leaving
you feeling used and unappreciated
especially when that person continues to
ignore the fact that you obviously like
them yes exactly so I'm going to have to
work even harder to be more supportive
of Kimmy I'll be the best damn shoulder
ever
later all right Pop Quiz Hot sh*t you've
got a room with two hot plates and a h
hallogen light into one socket what do
you do what do you do put on my bathrobe
and mellow Down Easy you've got ra
potential kid I'm going to mention you
to the higher ups let me show you
something Cal
if you're chosen to be in ra next year
you'll have the choice of any room in
Chilton Hall We R always get the best
rooms because we rock but guy I can't
live at Shelton Hall next year I'm
supposed to live off campus with my
friends AR don't have time for
friends that's what I keep telling
myself sir sir we found the perfect
off-campus housing solution but I'm
going to live with mine offshore World
w*r II era anti-aircraft deck we can
declare it as our own country and turn
it into a computer data Haven we' never
have to answer to anyone what do you
think y you're supposed to live with us
yeah
guy good point
chewy Cal how's this sound there there
Kimmy yeah I know that's just terrible
that's pretty good gu but how's this
sound what's up peeps you can call me
the cower
huh uh Kimmy how's it going K would you
mind if I talk to nits alone sure thing
pillow lady nits has been
practicing nits my audition is tomorrow
I'm not ready I can't calm down I'm so
nervous everyone here is better than me
and my entire future is riding on this
one stupid audition Kimmy you're going
to do fine you're talented you're
passionate even if the crappy teachers
at this school can't see that someone
out there will eventually recognize just
how amazing you are I already
do I don't suppose you want to come to a
party tomorrow night I'd love to good
where's the party Mark's Place Mark the
drama guy great I think I'm finally
going to tell him how I feel
H right so now she tells me that she
wants me to go to this party but then
she says she wants to hook up with Mark
the guy who's throwing the party can we
not talk about Kimmy for 5 minutes sure
so this Mark guy stupid drama senior
thinks he's so great I don't even know
why I'm going to this stupid party you
want to go as tempting as helping you
through your WB drama sounds I got a
pack well come with me to the party and
pack afterwards well maybe we can pack
together it is our last night at State
view oh my God Jesse if Kimmy doesn't
come back next year tomorrow night might
be the last time I'm ever going to see
her oh no if Kimmy doesn't come back
then then there'd be no reason for you
to stay here holy crap you're right dude
I was joking no you weren't I have no
idea what I'm doing at College good
grief piss stupid no places to live
stupid everything
[Music]
huh nobody's buying this house come on
come
on stupid gnome
When in
[Applause]
Rome cracks in the window broken leg on
a drum supplyed desk chair tacky use of
chili pepper lights I can't wait to
report this guy to the Douger uh Cal I
don't think that would be such a good
idea quick guys dial up gimpy did
somebody say my name how does he do that
eh law of averages I have found the
perfect house it meets all our
requirements it's cheap has a bday T1
line and a bar in the basement for me
sorry Rocco my minions found an
off-campus offshore housing Solution
that's too good to pass up so I'm living
with them but no and I'm living in the
dorms next year guy cuz I'm going to be
an R but h fine looks like it's just you
and me nits uh actually Rocco oh you got
to be kidding me what the hell is your
excuse I don't think I'm coming back to
school next year no how could this be
happening you're throwing your life away
I just can't will you have email I yes
oh okay God speed wait don't you guys
want to talk me out of this oh I'm not
an RA yet guy I'm not sanctioned by the
university to give advice what about the
house it has a bar in the basement a bar
in the basement fine I'll go find
somebody else to live with me you all
suck he's
funny well on our way to the last party
of the year
maybe my last college party ever dude
you're not actually going to leave
College are you I don't want to talk
about it you brought it up so I thought
Krueger and Brody were coming they're
studying for an exam I feel like I
haven't opened a book or seen the inside
of a classroom all year we are so ready
to study bust out those
textbooks
textbooks I hate you Brody so do you
want to live together live with you
weren't you the guy dated for like like
2 days yeah and you never put up
H welcome my friend welcome to the ranks
of the few the proud the I'm an aray I
made it hooray ker it's quiet hours now
as your first official Duty as an RA you
can help me Patrol the
floors let's roll okay
[Music]
hey Kimmy's friend glad you could make
it Sure Thing Mark sure that's Mark him
standing over there singing show tunes
that's lady k*ller huh yeah thanks he's
so cool him and his band of drama school
tops Lance Troy some guy in a Marilyn
Monroe costume anyway if we get split up
let's meet out at the porch at midnight
remember we're helping each other pack
we're not going to get split up because
I don't know any here and you wouldn't
leave me alone please okay fine the
secret of our secret pizza sauce is
sugar are you happy sugar I was asking
if you wanted to live with me oh I see
uh I have to
go goodbye wall I'll never forget how
you held up my Star Wars posters proud
and tall and goodbye floor thank you for
not crumbling under the weight of my
genius goodbye desk goodbye chair
goodbye I don't think we've ever been
formally
introduced Kimmy oh
nit
what I uh spilled my beer there sorry oh
I'm such a screw up no no it's it's okay
I don't drink so maybe I'll absorb the
beer through my skin and then I'll be
wasting
Ed so you didn't get called back for
next year huh no I did I aced my
audition so why are you crying because
Mark the guy I've had a crush on for 2
years
he's
he's
look he's
gay you're my last hope man what do you
say want to shack up well Rocco I am
flattered but I'm an alcohol induced
hallucination damn it what am I going to
do well you could get drunk oh
yeah they can't do this to us we are not
freaking robots that they can program
and fill with all this Garbo and expect
us to just spew it out someone's being
loud Guy Mr loud talker please respect
those that are studying I will not be
silenced I will not allow myself to
become part of the educational study
Roboto Matrix I'm going to go to this
window and I'm going to I'm going
to that's brilliant
[Applause]
a so it's a really great house blah blah
blah move in barocco we already we have
a house really wow this place has a big
TV and a bar in the basement and
everything can I live here look Rocco
we've been thinking while we do hate you
you're a freshman it's your job to be a
pain in the ass and it's our job to give
you a hard time and that'll be your job
next year so what are you
saying you can keep living here if you
want to deal put her there too slow in
your face
[Music]
[Music]
you son of a [ __ ] you left me at the
party alone ditch me to hook up with
Kimmy who's so drunk do you think you're
dating her now that she's in love with
you now all shut up God I can't believe
I let you cry on my shoulder all year
about everything and not once not once
did you ever get the idea that I might
have been doing it for a reason I mean
have you learned anything this whole
year about
[Music]
anything now I'm understanding what I'm
here
you knew you won't live all watch
[Music]
you I was listing all the ways to find
[Music]
you I don't want to be the one
[Music]
above I'm
[Music]
overb maybe I just
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
come and talk to me on my computer
screen the best years of Our Lives
aren't as easy as they seem to get the
grow and make the great it's all a show
it's all a game and I would lose it if I
play but anyway you go out on Friday
night I'll stay in but that's all right
die you found let to come my
[Music]
01x13 - Screw Week
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Adult animated sitcom centered on the lives of four college undergraduate freshmen.
Adult animated sitcom centered on the lives of four college undergraduate freshmen.