02x24 - You Didn't Say It Was Your Birthday

[bunniefuu]

Why aren't there
any eggs on my fork?

Grow up.

You got 2 hands, make
your own breakfast.

Why are you so cranky?

'Cause nobody made my breakfast.

But it's Saturday.

Daddy always makes my eggs.

I hope he's not sick.

Hey, daddy. Are...
are you feeling ok?

I'm fine.

Well, then get to
cookin', good-lookin'.

My eggs ain't gonna
scramble themselves.

No, they're not.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I got some jogging to do.

I'd hate to be your
scratching post,

Mr. Sour puss and boots.

What's the matter,

your blow dryer's on the Fritz?

Oh, no, I know
what it is, daddy.

You had a dream
that I was the only child

and you woke up to that.

No, sadly, I woke
up to both of you.

Wow.

He really is upset.

What did you do?
What did you do?

Me? Me?

Yes, you. Yes, you.

Stop that.

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ ooh, whoa, whoa ♪

Hey, where are my eggs?

Oh, right.

Enjoy.

Oh, miles, that's
what I love about you.

You're not just pretty,

you're pretty and funny.

Thanks, Jackson.

You know, maybe I will
make you some eggs.

Oh, wait,

that would make me
pretty, funny, and stupid.

Oh, you left out selfish.

Which now that I think
about it is probably

why dad's in such a bad mood.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the
way you acted last night

before you went
to your stupid party.

Remember?

You are gorgeous.

The only problem with being me

is that everybody else
gets to look at me all the time

and I only get glimpses.

Excuse me. Sister, dear.

What?

Could I just use a small
corner of the mirror?

I'd like to try to look good

so that way I don't offend you.

Try putting a paper bag
over your head, ugface.

Did you miss me? I
missed you. Yes, I did.

You're so pretty.

Miley Stewart, if you'd stop
worshipping your reflection,

you might just realize that
other people live in this house

besides you and that
big, fat head of yours.

You mean, big,
fat, gorgeous head.

Ok, so, uh, which
one of you bozos

are driving this
teen pop sensation

to another glamorous
Hollywood party

that I'm too shallow to
realize is totally pointless?

So you're really going out?

Tonight?

No, I put this outfit on

to stare at you
eating that cupcake.

Hello, somebody turn
the lights on in there.

Father, even though it will
make me late for my date,

I'll be happy to drive her.

You do so much.

It would be a privilege
to ease your burden

in any way that I can.

Jackson, you are an angel
sent from heaven above.

Please, let me share
my cupcake with you.

Oh, perhaps just a nibble.

If you two ladies are done
with your little wimpfest,

people are waiting
to drool over me.

Come on, let's go. Chop chop.

Unbelievable.

I know, dad. I know.

Aah!

Ok, that is so not
what happened.

You are the one
who acted like a jerk

before you went on
your stupid date last night.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the
way it really happened.

Remember?

Why did I ever agree to
attend this frivolous affair?

I mean, after all, father,

the most valuable
thing we have is time.

Perhaps I should spend
mine bettering myself

through study.

So young, so wise.

You are my favorite child.

Out of the way, fishface.

Whoa. Is that Brad Pitt?

No, wait. It's me...

Stewart, Jackson Stewart.

Double "oh, my."

License to thrill.

So you're really
going out? Tonight?

No.

I got all handsomed
up to watch TV with ya

until you doze off and
drown out the hee haw reruns

with your nose whistle.

Oh, Jackson.

Please don't make fun
of our father like that.

For some day he will be gone

and we will miss him terribly.

Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!

Don't worry, father,

I'll always love you
enough for the both of us.

Miley, you are an angel
sent from heaven above.

Unlike your brother who comes
from the opposite direction.

Now, son, I want you
to take your sister...

No, no, no, no, no, no!

I'm sick of driving
her everywhere.

You do it.

It'll fill that empty
void you call your life.

Please, drive me just this once.

You don't even have to stop.

Just slow down
and I'll tuck and roll.

Fine.

Unbelievable.

I know, daddy.

I know.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

And that is obviously why
dad is in such a bad mood.

Wow.

Miley world sounds fun.

How do you get to
school? On a unicorn?

Fine. We'll just wait for
dad to get back from his job,

and we'll ask him.

Yeah, we will.

And then we'll find
out that I'm the one

that has the perfect memory.

Oh, really?

Do you remember when
you put in that waffle?

Oh!

I paid for half of those.

See, this is why
you don't get dates.

I'm a girl, be nice.

And this is why
you don't get dates.

You eat like a pig.

You take that back.

And you take this back.

Ew!

Fine. Look.

Your half, my half.

Fine. Fine.

Oh, hey, Mr. Stewart, what's up?

Never have kids.

They'll only break your heart.

Now I know why
he doesn't get dates.

Yeah, my mom went there once.

Never goin' back.

Wait, don't eat that Chip!

Why, it was on my side?

No, no, no, look.

It's a barbecue-flavored
Darth Vader.

This is incredible.

Dudes, dudes, this is cooler

than when my alphabet soup

spelled ytzik gurpledinc.

I'll give you 5 bucks for it.

I'll give you 6.7.

Cha-ching. Cha-ching.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ hey, yeah ♪

Ok.

Dad is coming back from his job.

Get ready to eat your words.

That's right, buddy boy,

in 5 seconds dad
is gonna tell you...

me.

And you can take
that to the bank.

Go ahead, apologize.

Me? You apologize.

Fine. Ugh.

Daddy, I'm sorry.

That Jackson was such a
jerk about driving me last night.

And I'm sorry that your daughter

is a mirror-hogging,
ride-mooching

bottomless pit of "me,
me, me, me, me, me, me."

"Me, me, me, me, me,
me, me, me, me, me."

This isn't about
mirrors or rides.

You know what, I
shouldn't have to explain it

to either one of you.

Figure it out for yourselves.

Then what really
did happen last night?

Hold on.

It wasn't how you acted.

It's not how you acted.

And he ain't gonna
tell us anything.

Well, then what was it?

The mail.

I bet it was your report card.

I bet it was your phone bill.

It was not my...
Well, it's possible.

It's just nothing but a
bunch of birthday cards.

For dad. On his 40th.

Which was yesterday.

I can't believe you forgot!

Me? Yes, you.

Stop that.

♪ Ooh ♪

Ok, so we forgot his birthday.

We're probably
not the only ones.

Mamaw, uncle
Earl and aunt Pearl,

roxie, aunt Dolly.

Even bucky's barbecue
sent him a coupon

for a free mud pie.

He's 40 now, he
doesn't need that.

Jackson, this is serious.

We forgot one of the
biggest birthdays of his life.

Now all we can do is apologize.

Nothing we can do?

Miley, Miley, Miley,

have I taught you nothing?

Now, close your
eyes, find your center,

and try to put
yourself into my brain.

Ew!

Aah!

Oh.

Now you see what I see.

This is perfect.

We plan a surprise party

and make dad think
we never forgot.

Wow, that's way
better than my idea

of stealing his coin jar and
running away to Mexico.

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ ooh ♪

Miley, you need
to get down here.

You're gonna be late
for the big cd signing.

You know, maybe 40 minutes late.

The big 4-0.

Nothing.

Hey, I got the decorations.

Great. The cake will
be here in an hour.

Let me see.

Happy fifth birthday?

Well, they were all
out of happy 40ths,

so I got 45s and 210s.

Hey, adding's
good for old people.

It keeps the mind agile.

Coming!

Oh, here's dad's p.D.A.

Try to get as many of his
friends to come as you can.

Leave it all to me.

Sadly, I have no choice.

Hey, Mr. Adams, it's Jackson.

We're throwing a
surprise party for dad.

Tonight.

Heh. No.

We didn't forget.

Tonight.

No, we didn't forget.

Ok, so we forgot.

Your Christmas
lights are still up.

Who are you to judge?

So are you coming?

Hello?

Hello?

Look, I don't care if
your wife is in labor,

just tell her to pop that
sucker out and get over here.

Hello?

I got 50, 50.

Who will take darth home for 60?

$60 for this one of a kind,

deep-fried Sci-Fi icon.

Who will give us 70? 70?

I'll give you 100.

Wow, I think the Chip's alive.

I was on my way to scuba lessons

when I heard the sound of
money being made without me.

Unacceptable.

Yo, back off, rico, ok?

This has nothing to do with you.

Where'd you get the Chip?

In a bag we bought
from the shack.

Do you have the receipt?

I keep every receipt.

My dad's an accountant.

An accountant.

Well, the accountant...

Probably should have taught you

how to read the fine print.

Read it and weep.

"All food items resembling
real or fictional characters

"and or historical landmarks

"are the exclusive
property of rico industries,

a subsidiary of bwah
ha ha international."

Hand it over.

Or we could run.

Yeah, I like that idea.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh ♪

Here you go.

Sorry the line was so long.

Hey.

Huh.

Lose 40 pounds in 40 days.

And it's 40% off.

Think I should buy
it for somebody?

You know, as a present.

Nothing.

Here you go.

Hey, I just got to make
a quick phone call.

Hey, Jackson, how are we doing?

I need more time. Stall him.

How am I gonna... just do it!

But... I said do it, diva!

Hi.

What's your name, sweetie?

Ed. Really?

What a great name.

How do you spell that?

E-d.

Interesting.

Is that short for something,

like Edward or Edwin, Eduardo...

It's just ed. Would
you sign it, please?

We've been waiting for hours.

Ok.

You and me both, sister.

Dear ed, life's
what you make it,

so let's make it rock.

Life's what you make it...

So come on... come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come on!

Ok, love, Hannah Montana.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ oh, oh ♪

Hey, dad.

Can you get my purse?

I left it in the back
seat of the car.

Sure.

What's another 40
seconds of my useless life?

Jackson, I'm on the front porch.

Dad's gonna be here any minute.

Are you doing ok?

When you say ok... Oh, boy.

Hi.

Why am I staring at a
bunch of total strangers?

They're not total strangers.

This is Jerry the mailman,

Georgie the gas
meter checker lady gal,

um, Louie delivered the cake,

and frank's from
the balloon store.

Thanks for inviting me.



Ok.

And who are they?

Oh, uh.

I found them at the beach.

They call themselves
the aristocrats.

Hit it, kids.

This is the best you could do?

As soon as dad sees
this, he's gonna...

Surprise!

Look like that.

Happy birthday, Bobby.

It's robby.

Happy birthday, robby.

Didn't see that one
coming, did you, daddy?

And you thought we forgot.

Thanks for coming, everybody.

Thanks. Y'all were fantastic.

You rock, robby ray.

Next year, 41.
You're all invited.

Don't forget.

Wow.

What a party.

Good times. Good times.

Yeah. Happy birthday, big guy.

Hold it, you two.

Ok.

We forgot your birthday.

And when we tried to get people,

it was all, "I'm out of town"

or "I'm in jail"

or "I'm giving birth."

We're sorry, daddy.

We're selfish, horrible kids

who don't deserve a
dad as wonderful as you.

Let's not oversell it.

No, she's right.

I am a wonderful dad.

And when you forgot my birthday,

well, it just kind of made me
feel like you didn't appreciate me.

But we do appreciate you, daddy.

You've got to believe that.

Actually...

After the party y'all put
together this evening,

I do believe it.

'Cause it takes a lot of effort to
put together a train wreck like this.

We really do love you, dad.

I know.

Maybe next year you
could just love me on time.

Oh, come on, I'm a man.

Men don't hug.

Stewart men do.

Yeah, we do.

So... What'd you guys get me?

Free mud pie from
bucky's barbecue.

It's from both of us.

Hey! Aah!

♪ Yeah ♪