02x07 - My Best Friend's Boyfriend

[bunniefuu]

Wow, would you look at that.

Ugh. I know.

Lilly's the queen of backwash.

I bet he's suckin' up bits
of her burger right now.

This is a big moment for Lilly.

And if you had a romantic
bone in your body,

you'd be able to see that.

Hey, I have eyes. Ok, look.

He just said something funny,

she laughed. Big whoop.

She's not laughing
'cause he's funny.

She's laughing 'cause he's cute.

Ugh, boy brains.

You might as well scoop 'em out

and store nuts up there.

Oh, so girls laugh at
me because I'm cute.

No. Girls laugh at you

'cause you nod like a chicken

and you fall over things.

I do not.

Hey, what up, baby.

Oh, my gosh, I don't believe it!

What? He just asked
her to be his girlfriend.

How can you tell?

Wait for it.

He just asked me
to be his girlfriend.

You have no idea
how cute they are.

You are so cute.

You're cuter! No, you're cuter.

No, you're cuter.

Yeah, you're both adorable.

Can you pass the salt?

I made you a mix cd
to celebrate the 9 days

we've spent together.

It's right there.
Next to the pepper?

The soundtrack of our love.

Help me out here, people,

I'm chewing on cardboard here!

You make me so happy, Lilly-pad.

Not as happy as you
make me, lukey-wukey.

I think I'm going
to pukey-wukey.

Come on.

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ hot styles, every
shoe, every color ♪

♪ yeah, when you're famous ♪

♪ it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ it's really you ♪

♪ but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ who would have
thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ then you rock out the show ♪

♪ you get the best
of both worlds ♪

♪ mix it all together ♪

♪ and you know that it's
the best of both worlds ♪

♪ yeah, oh, yeah ♪

I don't want to say good-bye.

You hang up first. No, you.

- No, you!
-

ugh, I'm getting another call.

Hello.

Hang up already!

Ok!

I gotta go.

No, you. No, you!

No. Me!

Hey. That was rude.

You want to talk "rude"?

This is the first time we've
walked home together

in 9 days.

And you spent the
whole time going,

"oh, you see that cloud, too?

"let's make that our cloud.

"I love our cloud!

"Ow, I just ran into a tree.

"You ran into a tree, too?

Aww!"

Well, I can't help it. I
just like him so much.

I know.

And I'm happy for you, I am.

But I never see you anymore.

Well, you could have
sat with us at lunch today.

I did.

Really? Are you sure?

My point exactly.

I'm sorry.

Hey, how about I
come over Saturday

and we do a movie
night, just like we used to.

You're just doing that
'cause you feel sorry for me.

Well... But I'll take it.

Go ahead.

Hi.

Really?

Oh, you're right, our
cloud is floating away.

Bye, cloud!

♪ Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

why, why, why?

What did I do?

Rico, what happened?

We were robbed.

You're kidding. How
bad were we hit?

Look, third one down,
just below the red ones.

They're gone.

A pair of sunglasses?

Oh, this is tragic.

And they were so young.

Jackson, this is serious.

No, you're right.
I'll call Malibu p.D.

Eyewear division.

You don't get it, do you?

It's not just the sunglasses.

They've stolen rico's honor.

And this will not stand!

Rico? What are you
doing here so early?

Just making sure my
new security system works.

What security system?

Rico!

That new security system.

Let this be a warning
to all who dare challenge

the power of the mighty rico!

Whoa! Whoa!

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

so, you all excited
about movie night?

Yeah. And just to
let you know, dad,

you are more than welcome

to scootle your
bootle out of here.

Well, you don't have to
worry about that, darlin'.

'Cause I'm going to
be out in the garage

rearranging some tools and
listening to my police scanner.

That's the way a man
spends Saturday night.

You really miss race car
season, don't you, dad?

Yeah.

This time of year,
all they've got on TV

is all those stupid dance shows.

Hi, hi!

Hey!

What's going on? You're
not in your movie jammies.

Uh, right. About that...

I mean, that's a cute outfit,

but it looks like you're
about to go out with...

Lucas!

Uh, hey Miley.
Thanks for the invite.

I brought caramel corn.

Great.

'Cause I only had
enough for two.

Can I talk to you
in the kitchen?

Just, you and me? Alone?

Are you sure?

Oh, Miley, you're so funny.

Look, I'm sorry, but he
called at the last minute,

and I told him I
couldn't talk to him,

but then he said,
"you are talking,"

and then I laughed,
and then he laughed,

and then I laughed.

And to think that I missed out

on this yuck fest.

Emphasis on the yuck.

You could have
called to warn me.

Well, I was afraid you'd yell.

I am yelling.

Yes, but you're
doing it quietly.

I cannot believe you
would be this selfish.

You are the worst
best friend ever.

Who's that?

Special delivery from
your worst best friend ever.

Come on in, Derek.

You set me up on a blind date?

That is the most...

Wonderful thing you
have ever done for me.

Well, hello there.

Hi.

I'm Lucas' cousin Derek.

Oh, yes, you are.

And I'm Miley.

And I'm in my movie jammies!

Excusez-moi.

You sure this movie isn't
too scary for you guys?

Not when I have
you to protect me.

It's just a movie.
It's just a movie.

It's just a movie...

One of the... Worst dates...

Of my life.

Sorry.

Something's in there.

Something's in there!

There's something in... ahh!

I knew it! I knew it!

I didn't know we
were having a party.

Correction.

The worst date of my life.

Hey, Jackson,
can I get a hot dog?

I don't know. How
long do you have?

What do you mean?

Please enter employee
identification code.

Jackson Stewart,

employee number


Welcome.

Jackson Stewart.

Please enter your
hot dog access code.

All right, we've got...

Chips, churros, fruit
fresh, fruit frozen,

fruit smoothie, gum
bubble, gum sugarless,

hamburgers, hoagies,
and... Hot dogs.

Finally.

Yeah, you'd think.

Invalid entry.

Wiener denied.

Dang-flabbit. I'm
getting sick of this.

You know what?

There. There's your hot dog.

Now rope me, baby.

Activate trap door.

What?

Ahh!

Jackson! Are you ok?

Jackson, echoing: Get... Rico...

And a doctor!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

so Derek Hansen actually
jumped into your lap?

Like a little girl.

"Ahh! It's in the house!
It's in the house!"

Yeah. I was picking caramel corn

out of my hair for about 2 days.

How could Lilly do this to me?

You know, she was
just trying to hook you up

so you didn't feel left out.

Sure, it wasn't the


but it was still a
very caring gesture.

Wow, Oliver.

That was insightful,
smart, and sensitive.

What happened to your boy brain?

I spent last night checking
out my mom's chick magazines.

I learned that I'm an Autumn,

capri pants are the
best for my body shape,

and oh, new love...
It's a bright flame

that eventually dims into
a warm, comfortable glow.

Well, Lucas is her
first real boyfriend.

And she does seem
to have achieved

a new level of
emotional satisfaction.

Ok, now you're
seriously wierding me out.

Shh.

Just talk to her at lunch.

Oh, and, uh...

The velvet belt? So last season.

She hasn't said a
word to me all day.

She wouldn't even
look at me in English.

When she looked at
me in biology... daggers!

You've got a boyfriend
who's crazy about you.

It's got to be tough for her.

You're so great. I can't
believe you're all mine.

Well, believe it. You're
the only one for me.

Well, aren't you a busy boy.

Lilly, I really
need to talk to you.

Ok. One sec.

Miley, I'm really sorry
about the other night...

Don't worry about
it. I forgive you.

But I have to tell
you something.

Lucas... Lucas is...

What?

Lucas is cheating on you. What?

Lucas is cheating on you!

Wha... an... an... you... huh?!

It's true.

Tell her, lu-kiss-
every-girl-in-school.

Lilly, I feel
horrible about this.

Little late in the
day for that, bub.

I'm so sorry that
your best friend

is so threatened
by our relationship,

she'd lie to break us up.

That's right, straight from
the cheater-say-what?

So it's not true?

Course not.

Come on, Lilly.

Who are you going to believe?

That lip-lock liar,
or your best friend?

Come on, Lucas.

Now this is why
y'all don't get dates.

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

hello there.

Miley, what are
you... Doing here?

I just came to tell
you you were right.

Really?

I was jealous,

but not of you.
Of her, with you.

I want to be with you.

I want to find puffy
little clouds with you.

Miley, I... shh, no, no, no.

Don't speak.

Just kiss me. No, I'll kiss you.

Oh, ok, whoa.

Uh, nice try,

but I think you and I both know

the kind of guy I really am.

Ow!

What was I thinking?

He is never going to
hit on Lilly's best friend.

You couldn't have thought
of that 5 minutes ago.

I'm sorry, I mean...

I had to try something.

I mean, it's not like I can
put on some disguise and...

Boy, am I stupid.

Does anybody work here?

Wow, when you apologize,

you don't fool around.

This is the coolest
restaurant in town.

Well, it's the least I could
do after the way I acted.

What's the deal? I've been
waiting an hour for a table here.

Well, when I have
a table, I'll tell you.

Really?

You know what? I
completely forgot.

It's my little girl's birthday.

Can you help us out? Come on.

No, it isn't.

Oh! You know what?
I got the wrong girl.

It's her birthday. How
did I screw that up?

Mine was 2 months ago.

Do you want to eat?

I'm sorry, but this
is what happens

when daddy calls
at the last minute.

Hannah!

Philippe.

I am so sorry I called
at the last minute.

Mwah! Mwah!

Don't give it a second thought.

Table for miss Montana!

Are you kidding?

It's Hannah Montana!

But he's Larry David.

He created Seinfeld and
curb your enthusiasm.

Sorry.

Face it, dad, she's
bigger than you.

I bet uncle Jerry
could get us in.

Uncle Jerry?

Why couldn't you say
it was your birthday?

Come on.

I'm just so glad we're
not fighting anymore.

And you know, once
you get to know Lucas,

I know you guys are going
to be really close friends.

I feel close to him already.

Dude, that's Hannah Montana,

and she's totally
checking me out.

You're kidding? Where?

Yes, I'm sorry
that I'm late, Lisa.

Yes, I'm leaving
the shack right now.

Come on, baby. All right, bye.

Alarm activated.

Keys.

Intruder alert.

Activate deep freeze. Oh, no!

Jackson, I got
the security alert.

What did they steal?

All the heat in my body.

Now that is cool!

T-t-t-that's it, r-r-r-rico.

I-I-I-I q-q-q-quit.

Oh, let's not do anything hasty.

Here's a couple
of hot dogs on me.

Ooh!

Ohh, so warm.

And, uh, I'm going to
need you to sign these.

What are they?

Nothing, it's, uh...

Just some release forms

saying, I'm not responsible

for any bodily injuries,
emotional trauma,

blah, blah, blah.

Rico, why are you doing this?

I mean, you spent a
fortune on a security system

because of a $7
pair of sunglasses.

And all it's done
is k*ll your business

and freezer-burn my butt.

It doesn't make any sense.

It does to me.

I don't want anyone thinking

they can take advantage
of me because of my size.

I don't care how much it costs,

no human being will
ever rip rico off again.

I don't think humans
are your problem.

I hope he enjoys it.

That hot dog cost me $11,000!

Oh, I am so sorry.

Great hair.

Did you see that?
That was a move.

Not just a move, that
was a hair-touch move.

You're right! She wants me.

It's too bad I'm
going with Lilly.

I got 2 words for
you, my brother...

"Guy code."

We are men, and we are hunters.

And what happens
in the jungle...

Stays in the jungle.

Dude, you rock.

Hey, if things work out, I'll
hook you up with her friend.

Oh, fingers crossed.

Look!

Justin Timberlake's eating
the same shrimp as me.

Hey, Justin, great shrimp, huh?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

You've got your flirty
face on. Who is he?

Is it that guy... Or that guy...

Or Lucas, or Oliver, or...

Ugh!

You're despicable!

Lilly, I had to do something
to show you I wasn't lying.

The only thing you've showed me

is that we're no longer friends.

I am leaving. And
I'm taking the shrimp.

No, no, no. Lilly...

I was just trying to protect you

from getting hurt.

The only one who's
hurting me is you.

You just can't accept the fact

that Lucas really
cares about me.

Oh, yeah?

Then why is he
coming over here to flirt

with Hannah?

He's coming over
here to tell you

to stop making
googly eyes at him

because he has a girlfriend.

Uh, hi, Hannah. I'm Lucas.

I noticed you
looking at me, and I...

Go ahead, just say it.

Yeah, tell her
how you really feel.

Well, the truth is...

Excuse me. Miss Montana,

I have your biggest
fan right here.

Grandma!

It's ok, sweetheart.
She's a celebrity.

This is why they
go out in public.

Uh, don't go anywhere,
this'll just take a second.

There you go, sweetie.

Thank you.

You were saying?

Uh, well... I have a
camera right here.

Let's take pictures.

You know, I'm kind
of in the middle...

No, no, sweetie-pie, it'll
just take a second, ok?

All right now,
smile... other way. Oh.

Other way.

There you go, grandma.

Aha!

No, the lighting
isn't good here.

It's better in the bathroom.

Let's go. Come on.

Both, whining: Grandma!

Don't whine.

Just... just tell her what
you were going to say.

Yeah.

Ahem.

What was that you
were going to say?

Could you just
give her my number

and tell her to call anytime.

Well, why?

To tell her you
have a girlfriend?

'Cause, you know, you
look like the kind of guy

who has a girlfriend
he really, really likes.

Actually, I've got 2.



Yeah, but I'd dump
'em both for Hannah.

You're so funny.

Well, in that case, I know
Hannah would want me

to give you a little
something, too.

Sweet. Yeah.

Yeah, it is sweet.

Ugh!

You really got
that boy back good.

Uh, that was just Lola.

Wait till Lilly gets
a hold of him.

Lilly, I'm really sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry I
didn't believe you.

Man, boys can really
mess things up, can't they?

Yeah. And you
can't live with them,

can't eat with them.

Wait, what are we going to do

next time one of
us has a boyfriend?

The only thing we can do.

Trust each other, deal?

Deal.

Oh, my goodness.

It's Natalie Portman!

Lana, be a doll.
Take our picture.

You know, you're
not as cute in person.