02x23 - Twas the Mission Before Christmas

[bunniefuu]

Donald, I just noticed the
holiday card we mailed out.

What happened to
the family portrait we took

to celebrate our first
Christmas together?

[ Chuckling ]
Oh, I shredded those.

These are way
more festive.

Who wants
a Christmas cookie?

Adam, those
aren't even cooked.

Oh, no problem.
[ Sighs ]

Careful, they may be hot.

[ Blowing ]

Okay, who covered the entire
house in blinking lights?

People already
think we're weird,

we don't need to
shine a light on it.

No, I did that. I want to make sure
Santa claus comes to our house first.

Adam, we all love
Christmas,

but I think you're going
a little overboard.

[ Banging noise ]

[ Laughing ]

That, however, is spot on.

Hey, get back up on the roof.
You're ruining my display.

You were lucky a raccoon
chewed me free!

[ Alarm sounding ]

That's an urgent mission alert.
We have to get to the lab.

Hello? A little help?

[ Grunting ]

[ Yelling ]

The alert is coming
from facility x,

my research center
in the frozen tundra.

Hey, hey, I'm the mission
specialist. I'll handle this.

The alert is coming
from facility x,

his research center
in the frozen tundra.

Wait. The tundra's
near the north pole.

[ Gasping ]
Santa needs our help!

You wrap, you tape,
I'll go hang with the elves.

Dr. Evans.
Are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.
Although there's been a major

volcanic eruption nearby and
we're experiencing aftershocks.

I'm afraid if we
don't act fast...

Oh, merry Christmas
to you, too, Dr. Evans.

Rude.

Sorry, guys.
I know the timing's not ideal.

It's okay, Mr. Davenport.
We know what we have to do.

Yep. Let's cr*ck open some eggnog
and hit it hard after the new year.

The world's first bionic
super-humans.

They're stronger than us,
faster, smarter.

The next generation of
the human race is...

Living in my basement?

♪♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ Lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ Lab rats ♪

I can't believe
you guys have to go

on a mission
on Christmas Eve.

Just to be clear,
I don't have to wait

for them to open my presents,
right?

Well, I'm not gonna let this
ruin my Christmas spirit.

So, I will be wearing
my Santa hat.

Really, Adam? A Santa hat
with a mission suit?

Hey, if the ladies at the bank
can wear them at work, so can I.

I can't re-establish contact
with Dr. Evans.

The volcano must have knocked
out satellite communications.

This giant ash cloud has plunged
the area into total darkness.

There is no way rescue teams
will be able to get through.

Well, that means
Dr. Evans is trapped.

Eh, he's better off.
The airports are

packed this time of year.

There's an automated transport
ready to take you up there,

but without satellite
communications,

Leo and I won't
be on the comm set.

Ah, well, it will be tough
navigating through a mission

without the constant sound of
Leo chomping on carrot sticks.

Hey, you know
I'm a stress eater.

[ Doorbell ringing ]

Oh, I got it. Must be grandma
with her holiday feast.

Or perhaps some carolers have come
to spread some holiday cheer.

Merry...
Hey, dooley.

[ Yells ]

Code red. Turn out the lights.
Everybody, hide.

Leo.

Hi. I'm with him, I'll
be behind the tree.

Don.

Sorry to bother you, but I
ran into some car trouble

while doing one of my
favorite yuletide traditions.

Oh, were you driving around
looking at Christmas lights?

No. I was tearing through puddles
trying to splash carolers.

Took a corner too fast and accidentally
ran over some of your decorations.

Ho-ho-ho,
here you go.

Nice aim. What are you
driving, a tractor?

I'm stuck. I popped a tire and
I can't get any cell phone

service up here
on rich man mountain.

Uh, we like to call it billionaire
butte actually. There's a history...

Stop talking,
I'm on the phone.

Jose, Terry Perry.

Uh, yeah, had another accident.
I'm gonna need a tow.

No, the cat wasn't
driving this time.

Uh-huh.
Ooh, cocoa.

[ Laughing ]

What?
Ugh, great.

[ Sighing ] There's
only one driver tonight

and there's 30 people
ahead of me.

Hey, well, I have a bike pump.
Let's see if that works.

Leo.

Principal Perry,
what are your Christmas plans?

Not much. Just enjoying my cats'
production of the nutcracker,

with me as the stage.
[ Laughing ]

The soundtrack comes
courtesy of my belly growls.

You are more than welcome to spend
Christmas with us. No, she's really not.

Ah, I couldn't...

Without grabbing a few things
from my car. [ Laughs ]

What curse hath you wrought
upon this house?

Oh, good, you made it.

Uh, did we really
just risk our lives

to save a guy
in a viking helmet?

Oh, this? This
is my TV antenna.

When the ash cloud clears, I get great
reception. All two eskimo channels.

Is everything okay here?

Well, the volcano
really shook things up.

Communications are down, and the
pizza guy is four years late.

But other than that,
I'm good.

Great. Another genius
with bad jokes.

[ Laughing ]
Merry Christmas to me.

Wow. I can't believe I'm finally
getting to meet the bionic

super-humans I've heard
so much about.

Wh... you know our secret? Oh,
great, we came to save him and now

we have to destroy him. Chase, you
grab his legs, I'll get the bucket.

Stop. He's Mr. Davenport's
chief scientist,

he knows everything
about us.

That's right.

Well, here, let me,
let me show you around.

This is my lab-slash-
bedroom-slash-kitchen

slash-
that's pretty much it.

Wait. You live
here all alone?

With no brothers?

Does this place
have a guest house?

This is it. And I'm,
I'm sorry about the mess.

Things have really gone downhill
since my hologram wife left me.

I'm kidding.
[ Laughing ]

We actually get along great.

Although she's a hologram,
she's not really there for me.

Hey, guys, look.
A giant crystal ball.

I'm gonna ask it a question.

When will chase start
to look like a man?

Uh, careful, careful.

It's a gamma-sphere. It's a containment
vessel for the most powerful

energy known to man,
gamma rays.

If we could harness these, we could
solve the world's energy problems.

Davenport and I have been
working on this for years.

Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

I was trying to develop a
gamma-sphere for Mr. Davenport.

Well, I guess I b*at
you to it, little guy.

But don't feel bad.
Nobody's perfect.

In fact, if they gave out medals
for trying, you would have a gold.

Are you patronizing me?
[ Laughing ]

It's patronizing.
And yes.

You do realize I'm the
smartest person on the planet?

[ Grunting ] And every
time you have to say it,

it diminishes it
just a little bit.

[ Laughing ]
Are you watching this?

Oh, I can't look away.

Luckily, the sphere wasn't
damaged during the eruption.

Even the slightest cr*ck could have
had catastrophic consequences.

Like what?
The gamma rays

would have blown
a hole in the atmosphere

and wiped out 20%
of the population.

Well, that is Davenport
industries: Risking the fate

of mankind since 1992.

Come on, Dr. Evans,
we gotta get you out of here.

Whoa, I can't leave until
I've stabilized a few things.

If you'll all help me,
this won't take very long.

Oh. Oh, it won't take long.
Because I'm smart.

You said it again.

[ Sighing ]

That's "a few things?"

I keep my car stocked with
supplies in case of emergency.

Or if I'm just too tired
to walk to the house.

Oops, one more thing.

[ Meows ]

What a nice surprise.
You brought your cat.

No.

I brought my cats.

You won't even know that scratch,
thumper, boom-boom, Mr. Whiskers,

dingle, and widget
are even here.

They'll sleep with me
inside the tent.

They form a living blanket
around mama.

Uh, tent?

I don't sleep on
other people's bed linens.

And, no offense,
dooley-davenports,

but I don't know where
you've been.

Oh, thanks for
lending a hand, guys.

No problem. Glad we could help.
'Cause you needed it.

Yep, brilliant scientist
rescued by a 15-year-old.

You, sir, are welcome.

I know I haven't been
around people for a while,

but he's really annoying.

Yeah, it's the most powerful
of all his abilities.

[ Rumbling sound ]

What's that noise?

Oh, uh, you remember that
questionable meatball sandwich

I had at the gas station?

Question's been answered.

No, that sounded
like an aftershock.

Aftershock.
Brace yourselves.

[ Rumbling continues ]

[ Alarm sounding ]

Okay, that was
not the meatballs.

Uh, Dr. Evans.

[ Gasping ] Oh, no. There's a
cr*ck in the gamma-sphere.

Oh, man,
that looks dangerous.

Well, we're gonna bounce.
Merry Christmas.

Whoa, don't get too close.
If that cr*ck opens up,

those gamma rays'll
mix with the ash cloud,

and say good-bye,
northern hemisphere.

Can we patch the cr*ck?

Patch the cr*ck?

Billion-dollar technology,
unstable energy source.

Sure, let's put a little chewing gum
in there and see if that works.

Starting to see why
the hologram wife left.

Hey, how about I sh**t
my heat vision at it?

Well, how would that help? I
don't know, it's what I do.

[ Crackling sound ]

Whoa. The more oxygen that gets in that
cr*ck, the worse this is gonna get.

Wait. Maybe I can temporarily
contain it with my force field.

Great. And I'll come up with
a more permanent solution.

[ Zapping sound ]

Well, uh, you seem busy,
so I'm gonna go watch TV.

What do you, uh, recommend,
eskimo one or two?

[ Sighing ]

Sorry we don't have
a stocking for you.

[ Gasping ]
I got it.

Make sure you push the
candy way down in there

so it fills up
my tootsies.

I'm gonna go squeeze into my
Christmas jammies. [ Squeals ]

Okay, we have got
to get rid of her.

I agree, but all my plans
end with us going to jail.

[ Grunting, cats meowing ]

What are you wearing?

My Christmas pjs.

Want to see me belly dance
frosty the snowman?

No. No.
[ Yelling ]

The gamma rays are melting
a hole in my force field.

I don't know how much longer
I'll be able to contain it.

Uh, you have to,
I don't have a fix yet.

Shocking.

What, so when these gamma rays
hit, we're pretty much goners.

Well, we'll be.
But you should be fine,

since your head
is full of lead.

Ha. Yes. Lead.

Hey, Dr. Smarty,
we just met.

You don't have
that privilege yet.

No. Lead can contain
the gamma rays.

Exactly. And Davenport made
this building out of lead

to keep everybody from spying
on his secret technology.

All we have to do is rig
enough expl*sives to...

Implode on
the gamma-sphere.

Great idea. Blowing
stuff up on Christmas.

It is the most wonderful
time of the year.

[ Loud snoring ]

[ Talking loudly ] Thank
you for the scarf, Donald.

What? I said thank
you, for the scarf.

Oh, you're welcome.

So, uh, Leo.

[ Snoring stops ]

What'd you get?

I got socks.

Wet socks. Oh. That have
been marked by a cat.

Okay.

[ Phone ringing ]

Oh, no. Grandma's snowed in.
She's not gonna make it.

Great. So, no Adam, no Bree, no
chase, and no grandma Turkey?

How much worse
can this get?

[ Groaning ]

[ Yawning ]

And there's my answer.

Merry Christmas, principal Perry.
I hope you slept well.

Mind your own business.

Ooh, Santa came. What'd I get?
What'd I get?

[ Yelling ]
[ Ripping sound ]

Hopefully, some new pjs,
'cause those just ripped.

Um, no one got you...
Ooh, uh,

of course
we got you something.

It's Christmas. You can't not
get a gift on Christmas.

[ Chuckling ]
It would be rude.

Here you go, principal Perry.
Merry Christmas.

[ Yelling excitedly ]

[ Gasping ]
A qht video game system.

I can exchange this for a nice
blouse and two pairs of slacks.

The good kind that you
don't have to iron. Or wash.

But I asked for a qht.

Worst Christmas ever.

Ooh, somebody needs a nap.

Did he like the socks?

♪ Deck the halls
with large expl*sives ♪

♪ boom-boom-boom-boom
boom-boom-boom-boom ♪

Okay.

Charges are set.
So now, all we have to do

is light this fuse
to start the implosion.

We'll only have


of the blast zone
once the fuse is lit.

Oof. Think we'll
make it out in time?

I know I will.

Okay, Adam, light the fuse.
Right.

[ Powering down sound ]

Let's go.

Oh. These rays,
they're so beautiful.

Although, I really thought
they'd be a lot more blinding.

Ah, there's the burn.

Bree:
Come on.

[ Explosions going off ]

Did it work?

I still can't see anything.

Don't worry,
it'll wear off.

We gotta get you
out of here.

Adam, where did
you park the transport?

In the garage under facility x.

[ Frustrated groans ]

All right. Dr. Evans,
hop on, you're first.

Ready when you are, missy.
What... no. Get...

[ Grunting ]
Get...

Get off me.

She's a feisty little
thing, isn't she?

You know, after spending
time with Perry,

the grinch doesn't
seem like such a bad guy.

Yeah, at least after he took everyone's
presents he went home. Mm-hmm.

What are you two
doing down here?

Same thing I do at school.
Hiding from principal Perry.

Leo, she is our guest.
It is rude

to leave her upstairs
by herself.

So get up there and let us
know when she's gone. Yeah.

Oh.
You're back.

It's so good to see you guys.
Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

[ All laughing ]

So, how'd
the mission go?

Yes.

Well, how's my
research facility?

[ Laughing ]

Oh, you wouldn't
even recognize it.

Oh.

Hey, why are we down here when
the presents are upstairs?

Hey, wait, wait.
Not so fast. Um...

Principal Perry is upstairs.
I repeat, Perry is in the house.

You know,
I am very tired.

Yeah, I could use some sleep.
See you in the new year.

Freeze.

Look, the poor woman is all
alone, and it's Christmas.

Hey, at least
we're all together.

So, let's make
the best of it, right?

Absolutely not.
Enough is enough.

We are going to march up there
right now and tell this woman,

vamoose, lady.
This is our Christmas.

[ All cheering ]

Wait, she can't see us
in our mission suits.

Well, hurry up and change, I'm
not telling her without backup.

Principal Perry,
we... uh, smell food.

What are you doing?

What's it look like?
I'm making dinner.

We've had enough of this.
Get out.

Principal Perry,
this is amazing.

Well, I didn't see you
cooking anything.

Wow. I can't believe you
actually did something nice.

It's a Christmas miracle.

Ah, it's nothing.
I figured,

I crashed your holiday,
it's the least I could do.

Oh, look, how fancy.

She made a Christmas goose. Oh.

It's actually a swan from
the pond down the street.

You know, you could
walk right up to 'em.

[ Cat meowing ]

Please tell me that's not
coming from the oven.

I got it.

The Christmas tree is one big
scratching post for those cats.

[ Cats meowing ]

Ooh, come on, dingle.
Come on, boy.

Oh, he's usually
very, very good.

Principal Perry: Come on, dingle.
Come on.

He's getting really feisty now.
Sorry about this.

We're guests, dingle.
We're guests.

Come on, dingle.
Come on.

[ Cat screeches ]
Get out of here.

[ Grunting ]

[ Yelling ]

Principal Perry,
thank you again for this meal.

Oh, you're welcome.

I'll take that
whenever you're ready.

What's this?

Uh, your bill.

I see you included tax, tip,
and the cost of a new tire.

Sorry, gratuity is included
for parties of six or more.

I have no say in that.

You're actually gonna
charge us for dinner? Well,

I didn't make
this meal with love.

I made it with skill, sweat,
and whatever came off the tip

of my pinky when I was
chopping the veggies.

[ Groaning ]

[ Coughing ]