02x17 - Adam Up

[bunniefuu]

[ Computer beeps ]
Great job, guys.

You just took out an entire
unit of virtual cyborgs.

I think it's sad that you have to
invent people to play with you.

All right, Leo, I'm off the clock.
Let's get out of here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just 'cause Mr. Davenport's away
doesn't mean we stop training.

[ Both groan ]

How do you think I feel?

I'm missing a four-hour
documentary

on the history
of the printing press.

But Leo and I were gonna play
human bull's-eye bounce.

Don't worry, it's way more
dangerous than it sounds.

Human bull's-eye bounce.

Is there any way you
could get a good enough

bounce to land in
the emergency room?

'Cause that would
save us a lot of time.

Nope, he's right, Adam.

As much as I enjoy
watching you get hurt...

[Laughs] And I really do...
We have to train.

Oh, come on.
The adults are away!

If we don't take advantage
by doing something destructive,

we're no better than...
Chase.

I'm sorry, but unless he can
be in two places at once,

he's training.

Come on,
let's get the Bo staffs.

Oh, man, I never get to do what I want.
It's not fair.

Aww. Are all of your
cool bionic abilities

and top-secret missions
getting you down?

Aw, thanks, Bree.
I knew you'd understand.

[Sighs] Sorry, buddy.

Too bad you can't be
in two places at once.

Eddie: Well, now he can!

'Cause it's time to play...

"Eddie's will it or will it not
blow up in your face?"

A riding mower...

A set of barbecue utensils...

Or a cellular duplicator!

Ooh! I really want to
ride something on grass!

But I do love the grill.

[ Game show clock ticking ]

[ Buzzer ]

Eddie, we're gonna go with
the cellular duplicator!

[ Ding ding ding ]
Good choice!

This lovely
state-of-the-art device

scans human DNA and creates
a life-like double

using synthetic bioplasma!

Too complicated.
Go for the riding mower.

No. This is how
we can make two of you.

It makes a non-human twin
out of a human.

That's right. But be careful,
it's not fully tested,

so there's a small chance
it could go horribly wrong.

Then why are you
telling us to use it?

There's a small chance
it could go horribly wrong.

I'll give it a sh*t.
Where is it?

I'll give you a hint.

[ Ding ]

How's it work?

It just needs a sample
of your DNA.

Ooh! I got this.

[ Spits ]

[ Machine whirring ]

Ya know, you coulda just
put a hair in there, right?

Eww. That'd be gross.

[ Whirring, crackling ]

Aw, look! It has my eyes.

Whoa!
Awesome!

This may have been
a big mistake.

The world's first
bionic superhumans...

They're stronger than us,

faster, smarter.

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?!

♪♪

All right, break's over.
Fire up the simulator.

Adam, please remember: The
cyborgs are fake, but I am real.

Just one question:
Is this real?

Ow!

Why did you do that?!

Because real pain's
funnier than fake pain.

Uhh! Ohh!

You're a genius? Ha!
Even I saw that coming.

Oh. Aww!

This is great. They're totally
buying duplicate you.

I know! The only thing more fun than
hitting chase is watching me hit chase.

Let the human bull's eye bounce
begin!

Whoo!

Okay. It's as easy as it looks.

Jump as high as you can and try and
land in one of the point circles.

Cool. It's just like being
at a real carnival.

I know. I even covered the floor
with popcorn and mystery goo.

Thanks.

I'll go first.

They key is to get
a lot of bounce

and then worry about accuracy.

Oh, just hurry up
and get hurt!

Whoa!!!!

[ Crash ]

Quick! Get me down from here!

I've gotta do that again!

Hey! Hansel and gretel.

My niece is visiting from...
Um...

Wherever she lives,

and I'm gonna assign you two to be
chaperones for a couple of days.

Oh, uh...
Well, see, I can't,

we are so sorry...
'Cause I gotta be...

Oh, that's so cute!
You think you have a choice!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

But why would you want us
to show her around?

You can't stand us.

Oh. You've noticed.

Look, my niece is
sweet and innocent.

If she hangs around the cool
kids, they'll corrupt her.

That's why she's
hanging with you.

If it's unclear,
let me spell it out.

You're not cool.

Hi, aunt Terry!

Kerry, darling!

This is... the...
Gimme a second...

Kevvvinnn...

Suzzzzannnn..

Bree and chase.

[Giggling]
No one really cares.

Nice to meet you!
I'm kerry Perry!

Thanks for
showing me around.

I hope it's not
too much of a bother.

No, no. We are happy
to be forced to help.

Great. Now if you'll excuse me,

I'm headed to the chem lab
to sear off a wart.

Bye, aunt Terry!
Hee hee!

Here's the deal, ladies.

I'm skipping school
and hitting the mall.

And when I get there, I'm gonna
plant a dead fly in my burrito

and eat for free.

I'm sorry,
but as your chaperone...

Shut it, squat-mug!

Little elves called...

They want you back at the tree
to make cookies.

Um...[laughs]...
You can't talk to us like that.

Ha! Just did, boy-hips!

I'm outta here.

You can't just go.

Yeah. What are we supposed
to tell your aunt?

Besides the fact that she should
round up some bail money.

Tell her I was with
you two nimrods all day!

And you better do my homework.

Or else...
You'll get this...

Aunt Terry!

They were so mean to me!

[Sobbing]
Make them pay!

Make them... pay.

So, we good?

Later, peeps.

Okay, she is definitely a Perry.

[ Ring tones ]

Go for dooley.

Hey, how's it goin'?

Great. Duplicate Adam
is acting just like you.

Although he did get a "d" plus
on your geography test.

A "d" plus? He better dial it
back or we're gonna get caught.

So how's everything
going at home?

Oh, great. I'm just finishing up
the "nacho volcano."

[Gasps] Oh, no!

The cheese lava's coming!

Run for your lives,
people of jalapeñia!

No!!! No!!!

Don't worry.
I'll save you with my mouth.

[ Imitating airplane ]

Hey, Adam.

That is nacho
responsibility!

Ha ha ha ha!

Okay, bye.

Wait, wait, wait!

I want to talk to me.

It's for you.

Who is it?
You.

Oh.

Hello.

Hey, how am I? You're good.
How am I?

You're good.
Just so you know,

I'm not crazy about
this whole school thing.

Oh, well, I'm having a blast.
I'm about to go ice fishing.

What?!
How you gonna do that?

I froze Leo's fish t*nk!

No way!
I gotta go.

[ Bubbling ]

Math homework.

Chemistry homework.

History homework.

And here's your art project.

Don't expect an "a."

Don't expect a "thank you."

Now give me twenty bucks.

For what?!

Milkshakes for
me and my girls.

Fork it over, Princess!

Wha...!

You just got a shakedown
by a pre-teen!

I'm thirteen, bum-sweat!

Were you raised by
a g*ng of bikers?

That's it.
We are done with this.

Principal Perry,

we need to have a little
discussion about your niece.

We sure do.

She loves you two!

What?!
That's impossible.

I know. I find you
repulsive.

Thanks for watching Terry.

This morning I got to spend an
extra hour at the dog track!

Okay, that's great.
But we...

So now I need you
to watch her tonight.

I'm playing flag football
with the sheriffs.

And how do you get to play
flag football with the sheriffs?

Go to enough highway wrecks with
free pizza and they let you in.

Anyway, if you watch kerry,
I might just forget about

the detention days
you've accrued.

What detention days?

You mouthin' off?
You just got detention!

What?! You can't do that!

Just did,
Sally sideburns!

That is it.
We are done watch...

Uh, can you just
give us one second, please?

Hmm.

Look, okay,
the girl is a nightmare,

but if we do this, we might just get
on principal Perry's good side.

The woman has many sides...
None of them are good.

Fine, I'll do it.

[ Grunting ]

Ohh.

We've discussed it,

and kerry is more than welcome
to come over tonight.

There you go again...
Acting like you have a choice.

Oooh!

Uhhhh!

Hey, where's duplicate Adam?
I lost him at lunch!

Don't worry. He came home so he
could go ice fishing with me.

What?!
Yeah, it's a long story.

But remember your goldfish
Beyonce?

Yeah.

She'll be joining us
for dinner.

Just tell me where
your duplicate is.

Hey, relax. I just told him
exactly what chase told me:

Unless you can be in two places
at once, it's back to school.

But he didn't go back
to school.

Well, then where is he?

What are we gonna do?

I don't know
what you're gonna do,

but we're gonna
start a boy band.

Okay, which one of me
is responsible for this?

He is. He is. He is.

I only duplicated myself once because
you said I had to go back to school.

Can't argue with that.

Then the duplicate I made didn't
want to go to school either.

Again, makes sense.

Adam, we have to
do something.

I know! Let's make
one more duplicate

and make that one
go to school!

No! No, no, no, no!

No. No. No!

[ Crackling ]
You broke my me maker!

And you fried Beyonce!
We're even!

Okay, we need to find a way
to get rid of those guys.

I'll go get chase, you stay down
here and keep an eye on them.

Well, looks like we're
stuck here for a while,

so let's get to know
each other. I'm Adam.

All: No way!
That's my name!

No! What?!

All: No way!
That's my name!

Bye, aunt Terry!

Love you!
[Giggles]

Ohh.

Her car is disgusting.

I don't know where the kitty litter
ends and the cookie crumbs begin.

All right, kerry.

You're on our turf now, so we're not
gonna put up with you bossing us around.

I'm not staying
with you losers.

I'm going to the skate park to
throw marbles in the half-pipe

and then sell ice packs
in the parking lot.

That is pure evil.

You call it evil, I call it
a lucrative side business.

[ Cell phone rings ]
Oh,

my taxi's here.

Don't wait up. Ha ha ha!

Aren't you gonna
go after her?

Aren't you gonna
go after her?

Fine. We'll both go.

Hey! Hey, guys!

Um, we have a serious
problem with Adam.

You'll have to be
more specific.

Yes. There are
five of him.

What are you
talking about?

We made duplicates.

What?!

Hey, guys.

Adam, what are you doing
up here?

You're supposed to be downstairs
watching the other Adams.

Hello? They're our guests.

It would be rude
not to offer them drinks.

"Two waters, one o.J.,

and one Berry-infused decaf green
tea, soy milk on the side."

One of me is very
high-maintenance.

Ohh! That's twenty in a row!

More Adams?

We will never be able
to air this place out.

See, guys? There's nothing to
worry about. They're all here.

I thought you said
there were four duplicates.

Yeah. One, two, three, four.

Uh-oh.

Just go track down
the missing Adam.

I'll keep an eye on them
and find a way

to reverse
the duplication process.

Where's the duplicator?

Well, there's a shard of it
underneath your shoe.

You broke the duplicator?!

Hey, that thing was squirting
out an Adam every ten seconds!

What did you want me to do?!

Just... go find
the missing Adam!

Um...

We were told
there would be beverages?

Do you really think
that your duplicate

would be hiding
under the cushions?

Oh, he's definitely been here.

My couch cookies are gone.

I figured out how to
get rid of the duplicates.

When an electrical current flows
through them, they vaporize.

I already used this to zap
three of them downstairs.

Now we just have to find
the one last Adam that got away.

Found him.

Found him.

Guys, what is going on?

There was only supposed
to be one Adam left.

[ Ding, door opens ]


look just like us!

No, you're wearing
what I'm wearing.

[ Adams all talking ]

No way!
No way!

No. No.

I cannot handle
this many Adams.

The world cannot handle
this many Adams.

This is armageddon!

It doesn't make any sense.

If there's one thing I'm good
at, it's breaking things,

and I definitely broke
that duplicator.

Oh, did I not mention

that the duplicates
can multiply on their own?

They just had to learn how.

And guess what?
I taught them!

[ Knock on door ]

Principal Perry:
Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?

Guys! That's principal Perry!

Great. So now there are
eighteen Adams walking around,

and no kerry.
Shh!

Let's just pretend
we're not here.

Perry: I heard that.

You don't think my parents
tried that on me at Christmas?

Kerry?
Are you okay?

[ Banging on door ]
Open up!

Everything's fine!
We just need a second.

Listen up, little pigs!

I've got a welding torch and
a battering ram in my trunk.

This could go easy,
or this could go hard.

That's only seventeen.
There's one left.

Where is he?

I don't know.

Perry: Look out beloooooow!

[ Crash ]

Did you just
shimmy down the chimney?

It's okay.
I'm a professional.

Used to be a chimneysweep
back in the nineties.

Learned the hard way
not to wear a skirt.

Now...

Where's my niece?

Uh, she's just getting
her things together.

She'll be out any minute.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Adam.

Adam?!

What's going on?
Why are there two of you?

You must have got some soot
on your glasses!

Oh, yeah! Yes, you did!

Let's get those cleaned
right off.

Oh.
Hey! Maybe we can have a snack.

Would you like
a celery stick?

What do you think?
Point me to your premium meats.

Hurry up and zap them.

All right. Which one of you
is the real Adam?

I am.
I am.

What are you waiting for?
Just zap 'em both.

I can't. If I zap the real Adam,

the jolt of electricity will
fry his bionic infrastructure.

Well, you gotta
zap one of 'em.

[ Zapper powering up ]

May the best Adam win.
Good luck, bro.

Ho...
Ho...

Hurry up before
Perry sees!

Perry: Your tartar sauce is expired!
Can I have it?

I think you're good.

All right. Whichever of you
is the real Adam,

show me what you got.

You asked for it.

What? No... no!

No! No! No!

Aaah!

Bye-bye.

Uh, remember,
next time I come over,

I like my salami spicy.

Now, where is kerry?

Uh... ke-kerry...
See, the thing is...

Kerry, she's just, uh...

We were...
Kerry!

Aunt Terry!

You're here!

I was just taking a stroll
on their lovely grounds, and...

I must have gotten lost.

So you're okay?

Okay?

These two have been...

Wonderful to me.

I'm just sad I'm not gonna get
to hang out with them anymore.

Well, then I have
some good news.

I'm enrolling you
at mission creek,

so then you'll get to
spend every day with...

Steee... and duu...

Bree and chase.

Yeah. I still don't care.

[ Laughs ]

[ All laughing ]

[ Knock on door ]

Oh. Pizza's here.
I'll get it.

One large pepperoni
for... Adam.

Thank you very much...
Adam.

That's so weird. That pizza
guy looked just like me.

Uh-oh.

Oh, boy. Yup. I'll
grab the zapper.

Hey! There's three pieces
missing!

[ Laughs ]

That's so like me.

♪♪

[Boing]

♪♪ [Guitar]
Yes!