St. Lucia is the most beautiful
island in the Caribbean.
It's green from the beach...
all the way up to the top.
And it's lush.
It's straight out of a postcard.
Absolutely beautiful.
And it's just, like, wow.
Oh, this is a sh... sandwich.
I have been a captain 37 years.
Everybody wants to be
a captain
till it's time to do
captain sh...
Why are we losing the bow again?
Pull, pull, pull.
Son of a...
I've set my expectations
for this season
so far out of the.....ing park.
We have an issue, sir.
Look at me.
Shrunk?
♪ You in the presence of
an OG ♪
After all these years, I've kind
of become the mercenary chef.
I'm so over it.
It's gonna haunt me for
the rest of my.....ing life.
I'm just coming in to
m*rder some sh...
and be that bitch
that makes you tips.
♪ Go, Rachel, it's your
birthday, it's your birthday ♪
I am back, and I've
been crowned king.
Well, chief stew.
It's not about how well you do,
unless you do really badly.
Wait, it's a quite
confusing too, actually.
Just one sec and
you can talk later,
to yourself,
when I'm not around.
It's so good to be in charge.
No!
Hm.
I come from the
old school of yachting.
Nice throw!
When you work hard,
you work hard.
This is why I did my stretches.
Ah!
But you should be able
to play hard.
I have definitely
overstepped that line,
but we try our best
to be professional.
Who's been a good Ross?
I love this attention.
♪ I wanna be
I'm definitely a flirty person.
♪ More than just a friend
Small-talk me.
Well, we just have been
small-talking.
I think we've
been medium-talking.
Okay.
Hooking up in yachting,
you're on these boats,
pent-up stress.
The attention is.....ing
like a dream on a yacht.
- Yeah, could I?
- Rude.
I am a small-town
Mississippi gal.
Is she my boss?
I'm a really big personality.
I love to twerk.
Spitting everywhere, too,
but I do love to twerk.
- That's what I like to see.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This is normal
charter activity.
Yachting is like Neverland,
it's not real.
♪ Hey, baby, hey
♪ What's your phone number
First time I had sex in
Florida was on a jet-ski.
- Oh, okay.
- Wait, you've had sex?
Being a woman on deck,
you do feel like you
have to work harder.
- Wrap, wrap, wrap.
- Take it up, take it up.
Do it a 110 percent
or don't do it at all.
I might be a pretty face,
but I know how to rock it.
No.
Excellent, Miami.
Bring it on.
All my life fits in a backpack.
[speaks foreign language]
I've just wet myself.
People would describe me
as a sensational,
stunning, hot mess
crazy bitch.
We are going to work
your asses to the bone.
Everybody literally is like,
we need somebody faster.
Okay, then you.....ing do it.
Woo!
Yachting's not all
fun and games.
You have a problem with me
for no g*dd*mn.....ing reason.
No, I don't.
- It's deadly serious.
- We're gonna hit.
Oh!
It will chew your
little dumb ass out
and spit you out in a heartbeat.
Whoa!
Prepare to abandon ship.
Y'all are gonna make
me.....ing quit.
[sobs]
We wouldn't mind.
Bye!
What a horrible group of people.
Wow, she is big.
Oh, for God's sake.
Why is it on every CV they
always go "self-motivated?"
Oh, my God, it's huge.
Oh, this is brilliant.
Where the hell am I?
It's so nice!
You're kidding me.
Right, well, they could have
made the beds, at least.
Let's go find El Capitan.
[knocking]
- Fraser!
- Lovely to see you.
Good to see you again.
Gosh, it's so good to be back!
I know you're gonna shine this
year, you shined last year.
Thank you, sir.
I left My Seanna and
I went back to the Med,
and I've been a chief
for a season now.
The kind of boss I wanna be,
I wanna be a friend,
but I also want to be a leader.
But I'm gonna try and see
if I can merge both personal
and professional together and
create something wonderful.
Here are your stews.
Alissa, oh, brilliant.
This one here is gonna
be a floater, Camille.
You're gonna
share her with the deck,
but primarily working with you.
Interesting.
This is great.
It's a big boat.
Calf muscles are
gonna be burning.
It's 197 feet, 1,093 tons.
The state rooms are bigger,
the hallways are longer.
We've got an extra deck,
that's another flight of stairs.
The deck stew,
she's just splitting up
her duties between deck
and interior.
Everybody else has got
one boss, she's got two.
We pick up tomorrow.
As usual, it's a sh... show.
This is great!
It's gonna work out well,
I think.
This is really cool, okay.
I'm gonna see you around, yeah?
- Yes, you will, sir.
- All right.
- Thank you so much, Fraser.
- Thanks for welcoming back.
Mm.
I don't know where to begin.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, look at that face.
Oh, jeez.
Hello, Rache.
- Permission to board.
- Granted.
I'm so excited I get
to see my boat daddy again.
Boat Pop-Pop's there.
Please, Captain Lee,
don't sh... on me.
I know you like to eat
a lot of ass.
I'm gonna eat somebody's
ass for dinner.
Ooh!
And you are what you eat, but...
We got a brand-new boat, big.
- I saw it on the dock.
- We got room.
You are gonna have
your own cabin, my dear.
I love that.
You're gonna knock
their socks off.
I'm ready to do it.
All right, sweetie.
You look great.
- Thank you, Captain.
- Spectacular.
- Hello!
- Hello?
- Ah!
- Ah!
How are you!
- Hi!
- You look gorgeous!
Yeah, so do you,
you look fantastic.
Look at you!
- Hello?
- You must be Ross.
I am Ross, it's a
pleasure to meet you.
This is your new home.
I love this, ooh.
This is great, the lighting
in here as well.
Pretty big, hey?
Just by the size of it,
it'll probably be
a good layout for me.
This boat is enormous.
You've got your own cabin.
I saw that.
- Bitch!
- Thank you.
Ross, you've been a busy guy.
Yeah, I've worked on
about 26 yachts.
That works for me.
You are going to have
Katie as one of your deckhands,
and you have Mr. Willoughby.
- Sounds Australian.
- Yeah.
Tony. He's gonna be
your greenest deckhand.
This one is going
to double as a stew.
Okay.
I've got 11 years
of experience on yachts.
For me, the hardest element
is social dynamics.
I do tend to keep
myself back a little bit,
reserve some kind of
tactical chess game.
I'm not one to walk
on board, say,
"Hello, I'm Ross,
I like group sex."
- Guests coming on tomorrow.
- Extravagant.
- Welcome aboard, Ross.
- Thank you very much.
You're welcome, sir.
- All right.
- My own suite, ooh.
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
Hello, Fraser, nice to meet you.
- How you doing, Fraser?
- I'm Ross. Nice to meet you.
Ross, how are you?
You're bosun, right?
I am, that's correct.
I'm gonna give you the choice
of where you want to live.
Go for it.
And I do snore
like a train, but...
Brilliant.
So excited.
I have to pee again already.
Nervous pee-er.
- Hello!
- Hi, how are you?
I'm Fraser, I'm going
to be your chief.
Alissa, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you!
Whoa, that's fancy.
How do I open it, bitch.
How long have you
been yachting for?
About a year and a half.
Okay.
I was a second stew,
so lots of housekeeping.
Okay, do you enjoy
making cocktails?
- I do, I do.
- Yeah.
And the guests enjoy me,
for some reason, so.
I can so see why.
My ultimate goal in yachting
is to make
as much.....ing money
as possible,
meet as many high-end
people as possible,
mooch off them,
and live their life.
- Get into a uniform.
- Cool.
All right, I'll see you soon.
She is lovely.
Oh, my God this is
actually happening.
Chef is in.
- I'm Hayley, your stewardess.
- I'm Fraser, nice to meet you.
Oh, lovely to meet you.
Lovely to meet you too,
welcome aboard.
Thank you.
I'm gonna take you
to get into a uniform,
- and we'll go from there.
- Amazing, thank you.
It's absolutely gorgeous.
It's brilliant, isn't it?
The humidity does not
improve my hair, though.
It's a bit much.
The three things I like
most about myself...
it's quite obvious, isn't it...
ass, tits, hair...
ka-ching!
- Hi.
- Hey!
Hi, I'm Hayley.
I love your hair!
I was gonna just say I love
how, like, big your hair is!
Wow.
- Hi.
- Hello.
I'm Ben, nice to meet you.
- Katie.
- Katie?
Nice to meet you.
- Hey.
- Hello, how are you?
Good morning or afternoon,
I'm not sure which one it
is at the moment.
- Yeah, right?
- Ben.
Ben, I'm Ross, nice to meet you.
- Ross.
- Katie.
- Katie, lovely to meet you too.
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm the bosun.
- Awesome.
Well, welcome aboard.
Okay, so I've had a brief
look through your CVs.
Hayley, I'd like to speak to you
and see what your experience is.
And is that what
you enjoy being?
- Yes.
- Right.
I actually love housekeeping.
- Boom! Boom!
- Yeah, I do love housekeeping.
Boom!
- Hi, welcome.
- Hi!
- I'm Ross.
- Tony, nice to meet you.
So, this is the deck team,
I believe.
- Oh, wow.
- Awesome.
Let's go down to the cabins,
find your cabins, and settle in.
We actually have a deck stew.
Quite a large vessel here.
But my priority right now is
we've got a charter tomorrow.
I'm gonna send both
of you down to cabins.
Okay, yeah.
And we're just gonna
get them all done.
What have you got in here?
- There might be a body in there.
- Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
- Hello, what's your name?
- Camille.
Camille, okay, and you're
the deck stew, is that right?
Hi, I am the deck stew.
- This is so exciting!
- This is so exciting!
Bigger than what I'm used to.
Nice, bro.
So, this is our crew quarters.
- Ross, have you met Camille?
- Hello.
- I have not.
- Hi.
Ross, like the discount store.
- Can you help me with my bag?
- Yeah, sure.
- Are you the bosun?
- I am.
I'm the deck stew, so
I'm not exactly sure
where you guys
will be needing me.
- Camille?
- Camille.
Okay, perfect.
I'm attracted to a few of
the girls on the boat.
- Thank you, Ross.
- Yeah, sure.
All right, I'll come back later.
Yeah.
I'm gonna try and be
as good as I can,
but then I'm also not very
good at that kind of thing.
All right, I'm in trouble.
Can we just chat quickly
about Camille?
Yes.
So much stuff.
We're going to share
her a little bit.
Right.
Just because I'm doing
interior and exterior,
like, I guess I get,
like, double.
So, I'm going to just throw
her in
on the interior side of things,
and then whenever you need her,
she'll be all yours.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I do surf.
Oh, Dios, man, that
place is famous, bro.
- Where are you from?
- Ohio.
Okay, I was gonna say
I hear a little, like...
- Yes, yeah.
- Midwestern.
Yep, yep, but I live
in Ft. Lauderdale.
- Okay, nice.
- What about you?
The South.
There you go, the South,
that's awesome.
- Southern girl, you know.
- That's awesome.
I'm from a small town
in Mississippi
that was too small for me,
and I was very ready
to get out of there.
Growing up, people
wouldn't invite me to the party
because I ended up being
the center of attention.
I'm not trying to be.
I love to be a little extra,
it's so.....ing boring
to not be.
But does that sound egotistical?
You're going to be
with us most of the time,
but if you can just focus on
the master in its entirety...
That's the hot tub.
- Wait...
- I know, it's fantastic.
Anyone got experience
with anchorings?
- Big anchors, yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah? Okay.
This is dangerous equipment.
The fernickety thing about
this is
that if you bring it up too far,
just the tiniest amount,
it gets stuck.
It's about four spins up
and four spins down.
Copy that.
How much docking
have you all done?
- I've done a few, big...
- Yeah?
- Big boats.
- Nice.
I'm just gonna do whatever
you need me to do, because...
All right, Tony.
I have a pair of hands ready
for anything, you know?
Yes, I appreciate that
and I love...
The smile's perfect.
Attention all crew,
I need everyone
in the sky lounge for
a staff meeting.
Copy that.
And would you bring me a coffee?
Copy that, Captain.
Well, I've got no
- ing coffee pods.
How does this sh... work?
- Hi!
- Hello.
Arr, what a motley-looking
bunch we got here.
We haven't got coffee or cream.
Thirty.....ing million
dollar yacht
and we don't have
coffee or cream?
Can you believe that,
and no coffee.
Okay, we might as well
get the party started.
I am your captain.
My name is Captain Lee.
I have two rules...
don't embarrass the boat, and
do not embarrass yourselves.
I've got a pocket
full of plane tickets
that I have no
problem handing out.
Are we clear on that?
- Yes.
- Copy that.
Okay.
[sighs]
One other thing
I did wanna cover,
I am a little incapacitated.
I have a nerve issue
on my left side.
So, I am going to depend
on you guys in some areas.
I had back surgery
before I left.
The worst is behind me now,
and the doctors have assured me
that I'm just gonna
continue to get better.
And I said, well,
I'm going to work.
I wanna set records this season.
I want all the cash
we can possibly get.
We pick up tomorrow.
- Let's go to work.
- Woo!
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I just don't even know what
to do with this right now.
What are those?
- Like, look...
- A massive penis.
What is this absolute
pile of sh...?
Ladies, I love that.
This looks fantastic.
Cool, thank you so much.
Alissa knows what she's doing,
and she's doing it very well.
Everything she's doing
is very polished
and very, very structured.
- Hayley, not so much.
- Okay, so like this?
- Exactly right, yeah.
- Oh!
Things seem to be a little
bit all over the place,
but she's very,
very enthusiastic.
I'm happy with them both so
far, so, so far, so good...
knock on wood.
Where have I come from?
Hell, that's where
I've come from.
All crew, all crew,
provisions are arriving.
Copy that.
They're bringing the food,
oh, gosh.
So, basically, we just
wanna get it all on.
Then we can start
organizing it, I think.
- Sure.
- Yeah, perfect.
Oh, my God,
it's so hot, isn't it?
This is a hot hell.
Oh, I'm sweating
like an absolute swine.
Jesus Christ, this is
way.....ing down here.
How many more, Ross?
- That's it.
- Woo!
Oh, Jesus.....ing Christ.
All right, what
the [bleep] was I doing?
Oh, yeah.
This is a massive boat.
So, that means
she's a big bitch.
Sometimes, when you have
all these many decks on a boat,
it becomes harder,
just because
you're running through
so many levels.
[bleep] me running.
I have to go all the way down,
too, to my dry store
and my walk-in and
my freezer as well.
Cranky Rachel might kick
in in a second.
Oh, these stairs are
gonna definitely build
some good calves
and a nice, hard ass.
Oh [bleep] yes!
Yeah.
Bye, guys.
What is your favorite food?
Anything that's not healthy.
No matter what.
See, Miami-style,
we'd work in our bikinis.
Oh.
So, Monday, Tuesday, I would
eat whatever I wanted,
Wednesday, Thursday
I would drop all carbs
so I could be in a bikini,
pulling lines, fenders.
I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio.
I lived back in the woods,
so we'd go hiking.
I was the only one that kind
of ventured out, decided to,
you know, move to Florida, and
I fell into yachting right away.
I like to challenge myself.
I'm gonna do everything
the boys can do.
Like a badass,
I.....ing love that.
The day charters got old for me.
That's why doing
this is so cool.
Fraser, Fraser, Lee.
Go ahead.
Can you grab Rachel
and the bosun
and meet me in the
crew mess
for our preference
sheet meeting, please?
Copy that.
Yikesies.
Why is this not organized?
How you doing, Fraser?
I'm exhausted, but well.
Good, we're just
getting started.
Yeah, well.
First one of the season.
Thank you.
Our charter guest is Peng Lim.
He's an in-demand
tax professional.
Peng is gonna be joined by his
best friends for his birthday.
Peng' friends are planning
on some birthday surprises,
including an all-day
celebration
with images of Peng's
face decorating anything.
What if it floats
in the day head?
[laughing]
First evening, they
want a rave-style party.
They would like to continue
the festivities
with a Zen day on the beach,
and in the evening,
Playboy mansion theme party
with an exotic dancer.
Young, sexy male.
Oh, interesting twist there.
Did you not pick it up going
through these?
No, no.
Oh, I thought he was connected
quite closely to Madame Breasts.
Somehow, I think not.
As an added bonus,
primary's friends would love
to surprise him by
having someone jump out
of a large-scale
birthday cake.
Well, we know we're
leaving my old ass out of that.
Carry on, folks.
Thank you.
We've got so much to do.
We've gone mad.
What's your sign?
I'm a Pisces, so I'm just
basically an emotional mess.
My boyfriend's a Gemini,
and we're the most
uncompatible signs.
You know what my mom told me?
She said, "Love never
lasts at the beach."
I think that's so true.
I'm definitely attracted
to the bad boys.
I dated a college SEC football
player, a quarterback.
Football in the South,
it's no.....ing joke.
Like, grown men are,
like, mega-fans of,
like, 17-year-old boys.
It's, like, so.....ing weird,
I just don't understand it.
Wait, so what does that mean?
So, love never lasts
at the beach
because people are tan,
they're hot.
To be fair,
I do live by a beach,
so that does completely...
you just described me,
didn't you?
Okay.
Should we get up at 6:30?
All right, thanks for
an awesome first day.
- Yeah.
- Thanks, man.
How long did you say you've
been in yachting for?
Four years, on and off.
Done a lot of waitressing,
I was always doing
front-of-house jobs.
Nice.
I did...
And I did that for three years.
- I saw that.
- Did you see that?
- That is great.
- Mm-hmm.
I was always in and
out of the yacht industry.
It's like an ex-lover
that you used to spend
a lot of time with, and
you really liked the sex.
Didn't really wanna commit,
but occasionally,
you just wanna dip
back in there a little bit.
I've got my own business at
the moment, doing aesthetics.
So, I do Botox and fillers.
So, freshly done five days ago,
so I imagine it's still...
Where'd you get it?
You're can only do it
from here up, can't you?
Oh, my God!
People are doing
that to their grundels.
Smooth balls?
So, it relaxes their balls?
I don't know,
I've never seen it.
This is quite intense.
I don't know,
but I've heard about it.
Botox?
Yes, did you bring some
with you, by the way?
- No.
- For [bleep]'s sake.
Spectacular.
All right, darling,
I'll see you around.
We'll start in the morning.
Good night.
Ow.
Oh, a shower sounds pretty
good right now, actually.
Let's be on deck
between 6:30 and 7:00.
I mean, really?
I'll do this, if
it takes me all night.
For [bleep]'s sake, girls.
This is ghastly.
I'm feeling the stress.
I need to give
my absolute all to this.
This is everything.
I grew up being
hideously bullied,
and so there is this
looming voice
that's always
in the back of my head
telling me I'm not
quite good enough.
It's never-ending!
Oh, God, this is foul.
The boat's huge, and
I really didn't know
what I was facing, and
it's far worse than
I thought it would ever be.
So, yeah, I'm freaking out.
I am crumbling under
pressure here.
Coming up...
For anyone who wants
to use the bathroom...
Is there soap?
Yeah, there will be.
Guests have been on board for
By the way, these urine
stains are not mine.
[alarm sounds]
As soon as I wake up,
I'm like,
let's.....ing go!
Right, that's because
you're, like,
seven years younger than me.
So, we've got two
hose connection points.
We've got one here, and there's
one back starboard aft there,
- and when you...
- So, just water everything?
Yeah, what I would do
is start from the front.
Yeah.
All right, so it's gonna be only
this, and what about the teak?
No, not with the teak.
Just go until
people start dying.
Cool.
- Fras.
- Hey.
Have you come across a fruit
bowl that you'd like to use?
- Sure.
- And 'cuter boards.
"Cooter boards."
Charcuterie?
Yes, a mélange of my meats,
thinly sliced,
laid on a platter.
As much as I love
talking about your cooter,
let's end that there.
All righty.
Yeah, [bleep].
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Interior, interior,
would I be able to grab you
in the sky lounge, please?
Yes, of course.
What I'd do now is I'd probably
try and get a chamois,
some K2R, and a bit of...
Yeah, on each deck.
- Copy.
- Okay.
We can do that.
Take a seat, ladies.
I'm going to go through
a couple things.
Got your responsibility
list here,
and if something's
not been done,
I will know who's
responsible for it.
Last night,
I was having a mental breakdown
and I realized
I can't do everything.
So, I need to learn how
to delegate.
Here is my bible.
Get reading.
I don't know any of
you more than a few hours,
but I'm gonna go off
of experience.
Alissa, I'm thinking of
making you my second.
Okay.
So, I need you to be in charge
of helping the girls out.
Cool.
I am going to absolutely
smash it.
I just wanna focus on
my triangle of importance...
Captain Lee, Fraser,
whoever's paying me.
The people not in the triangle,
do your work, please.
Yay!
Thanks, guys.
Your priorities today are to
get laundry in a place.
Do you want me to
do the day head?
- Please.
- I'm looking forward to it.
- Fraser, Fraser, Ross.
- Go ahead.
Is it okay if we have
Camille now,
so we can talk about
some docking?
Yeah, Camille, head back
down when you're ready.
Copy.
Do you keep your
warm water somewhere?
I just pop them there, or
I just put them on my tits.
What if you just like,
opened it up and...
- Welcome.
- Hi, everybody.
Nice.
Thank you.
You don't ever say that to me.
Right, I've drawn
a picture of the boat.
I'm gonna have Ben doing
these three lines.
- Okay.
- Katie here.
Perfect.
Tony, you might be going round
in circles just a here.
Camille, along the middle here,
in case Katie needs
a hand over here.
Okay.
I worked as a deck stew before,
but on a small boat.
But if I had to be one,
I would be on the deck.
I like being outside
with the boys.
It's a vibe,
put the sunglasses on
ing drink a Coca-Cola, yeah.
- All right.
- A lot of info.
Come on, do it for Mommy,
you know you.....ing like it.
Suck my...
[coughing]
[bleep] suckers.
Have a.....ing party.
I have no idea,
that's why I'm asking you.
Yeah, gimme one minute.
This girl has got me
- ing running around
doing sh... for her.
Grab a chamois and
just make things nice.
We'll tighten up
this line again.
Yep.
Brilliant.
Okay, can you handle
the napkin thing,
or do you want me to do it?
Because I just want it done,
like, as soon as possible.
Dude, I don't know
where the napkins are.
That's what I'm saying,
are you gonna ask Fraser
or do you want me to?
- You can ask him.
- Okay.
Camille's giving me a little
bit of a, like, attitude.
Fraser, Alissa.
Have you seen any napkins?
Lower stew pantry,
the galley pantry.
I would have never
suspected that.
That's why you can just ask him.
It's just annoying, but we'll
see how that progresses.
You can't find napkins?
Alissa, I've got
cocktail napkins.
All the towels are washed
and ready to go, right?
They are ready to go.
Attention all crew, we have
one hour till guest arrival.
No, no, no.
Literally need you to spray
and just go like this.
- Yes.
- Hayley, hand towels...
- roll them up nicely.
- Okay.
Right, so let's just
have a little final look.
- We looking ready?
- Yeah, looks good.
- Everything's looking pretty.
- Yeah, that's pretty good.
Can we think about
getting into our whites?
- Okay.
- That's what I like to see!
Let's go and shower
and get changed up.
Ooh, I look fancy in this.
Shiny bitch.
Maybe you could deal
with whatever's on the edge
of that bar there, Tony.
Attention all crew,
attention all crew.
I need everybody on the aft deck
in their whites in five.
♪ Going on a boat
- I have to pee again.
- I do, too.
- You got it?
- Yeah, yep.
Interior, let's just knock
this out of the park.
That'll work,
for the time we had.
Let's go.
All crew, all crew,
we can see the guests
walking down the dock.
Oh, my.....ing God,
we've gotta get out.
Here they come.
Wait, do you guys know what
flag that is up there?
- It's St. Lucia.
- Oh, cute.
God, help us.
Coming up...
Alissa, do you want side plates?
"Do you want side plates?"
I'm asking you, look
at your stripes.
No, I'm asking you
too, because...
Look at your stripes,
you're on service.
It doesn't matter.
This is quite nerve-wracking.
Smile.
- Hi.
- Welcome aboard.
- Peng.
- Captain Lee.
- Hola!
- Oh, thank you.
A fresh towel for you.
How you doing, buddy?
Oh, perfect, thank you so much.
- I'm Quai.
- Hello, Quai.
What was I supposed
to do with that?
Wash your hands.
- You, like, daub your...
- There you go, baby.
Thank you.
Welcome aboard, and
welcome to St. Lucia.
We've got a great
few days planned out
for you, birthday boy.
- Thank you.
- Woo!
- Woohoo!
- Happy birthday.
I am going to have Mr. Olender
give you guys a tour
of the vessel, and
then if you don't mind,
we'll just get off this dock
and get the party started.
- Thank you, perfect.
- Yes!
- That work?
- I'll cheers to that.
Saddle up and go to work.
Stairs?
Are you guys serious?
So, this is our bridge deck aft.
Oh, this is so cute,
I love that.
Oh!
Oh my God.
- I'm so sorry.
- That's all right.
What have they
got in this thing?
Oh, my Lord.
So, we've got a lovely
lounging area here.
- I have to pee!
- Hot tub.
- Wow, yes.
Now, for anyone who wants
to use the bathroom...
Is there soap?
- Is there soap?
- Yeah, there will be.
Guests have been on board for
So, that's good.
Interior, can we please
get some soap?
And by the way, these
urine stains are not mine.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
Just dip 'em in the hot tub.
I'm so sorry, we can
revisit the soap situation.
- Oh, you're totally fine.
- There we are.
Alissa, do you want side plates?
Do you want side plates?
I'm asking you,
look at your stripes.
No, I'm asking you too.
Look at your stripes,
you're on service.
It doesn't matter.
Yeah, you can bring
side plates, just because.
- You want plates?
- Yeah, sure.
All right.
- This is your quarters.
- There's a library?
- This is all Peng's room?
- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
- Look at this.
So, will you guys go up there
and take a picture of us
laying down, thank you.
[laughing]
Very good idea.
- Port anchor's ready to go.
- Got it.
I'll probably just
go bow to stern.
Put Benjamin on the bow,
and I'll be down the back,
calling distance.
Okay.
Just stay sharp,
and we'll let 'em know
when we're gonna get underway.
Cool.
We're a new crew, new boat,
new location, new everything.
A lot of pressure.
They'll be pointing
their finger,
"Look at that dumb sh..."
Can't put that toothpaste back
in the tube.
[sighs]
- Three o'clock?
- Three o'clock.
Thank you, thank you.
Your station will be along here.
Got it.
Just making sure fenders
are all good.
Yeah, can we do two
espresso martinis?
Of course.
If you wanna get these
fenders all out of the way.
Yeah.
Ross, you got everybody
in position?
All in position.
For lunch, we were
thinking around 3:00.
That's totally fine, yeah.
All right, let's go
bow to stern,
and let's not burn any daylight
while we're doing it.
I'll do, like,
a spicy margarita.
Cool, I can definitely
do that for you.
Captain, that's all
lines on the bow.
Okay, let's go, go.
Oh, my God, did somebody
make him another margarita?
Guilty.
Sorry, guys.
[laughing]
Go, go, go, Katie.
All lines on board.
Nice work, deck team.
Is this the ocean?
We're outta here.
I guess it's too late to turn
back now, isn't it?
Bring the fenders in,
start lashing them down.
That'd be great, thanks.
Here, we're gonna push this
over here, help me.
Right now, like,
push this over there?
Like, closer to the...
- Ooh!
- Oh!
Get a towel! Towel!
Fraser?
Fraser?
Captain, foredeck.
There's no traffic ahead,
you're free to swing.
Hey, we're under control.
Oh, Fraser!
Oh, I'm so sorry.
We spilled, like,
the whole plant.
Is there a way that
we can get paper towels?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Peng!
Don't tell on us!
It was Quai who did it.
These things happen.
Is it too soon to
throw oneself overboard?
We were just
gonna move it like that.
Yeah, all good.
Good job, guys.
Looking good, Cap.
Good.
Almost 40 years.
Every sh... job there was,
I did it.
Mm.
Tony's green.
Skill sets can be taught,
but Jesus Christ,
look at this.....ing
kid's attitude.
Got a smile as
big as all outdoors,
and the willingness
to learn is there.
I'm going, like,
I can work with that.
- Bilge rat.
- Yeah?
Deck crew, let's go
and change up.
All right, Boss, I'm gonna go.
- Thank you for the chat.
- You're welcome, sir.
Burn-face person,
that's what I seem to be.
Nice job on the bow.
- You think?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- You've got really good...
like, I didn't realize
you knew so much.
Yeah.
Yeah, that'd be really nice,
if you and I were on the bow.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Oh, you ready?
How does it go?
Like this.
Yeah, the eyes and the smile,
she got me good.
What does he say?
It's something like
"Open your eyes, Rose."
Rose?
She was saying that
she wanted to be on the bow
with me next time, I said we can
get a real "Titanic" vibe going.
Yeah.
Where do you want us?
Eating lunch.
Nice, there's food.
Hey.
Salad, and then
roasted red peppers,
walnuts, hummus, baba ganoush.
- Okay.
- All right, cool, thank you.
Cool, thank you all.
That was clean, came off
the dock no problems.
Ross, let's get ready
to drop the anchor.
You called it.
Copy, on my way.
What the actual [bleep]?
It feels so good out here.
Does the boat make you feel
more drunk 'cause it wiggles?
Probably, but you need
to just get more drunk.
In position, ready to drop.
And drop.
Go ahead and lock it in, Ross.
We cheated death again.
[shrieking]
Aren't we supposed to be
having lunch right now?
Because we were just sitting
there for a while, and I...
I will be sure to let you know.
I'll ask.
It's.....ing frozen.
- Frozen?
- Yeah.
I don't give a sh...
It really is what it is.
There's nothing
we can do about it.
So, lunch is late.
We've got so many factors
that are in play here...
new crew, new equipment,
and a very vast boat.
Suck my.....ing sphincter.
And now I feel like
a rushed assh*le.
That.....ing sucks.
We haven't had lunch yet.
We were supposed to eat
at 3:00, though.
ing hell.
Do you want a drink?
No, I don't, actually.
I wanna eat.
Motor [bleep] me bitch, and
not you, I meant life.
Let's get that pump.
Uh-huh.
If you're not topless dancing
by the end of this trip,
I'm not here for it.
- Oh, my God!
- Yes!
Nothing's working out today.
When are we eating,
is that soon?
Very, very, very soon.
- Ready to go?
- Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna invite them
to be seated,
come down, and take stuff up.
Yes, that's perfect, thank you.
- Ready?
- Yeah.
Day one.
Can I invite you
to be seated for lunch?
- Ready to go?
- Yeah.
Thank you.
So, you're at the head
of the table...
- Wait, is there dinner?
- No, lunch, honey.
It's lunch.
Oh.
Alissa, we're gonna start
taking food up together now.
Oh, okay.
We're gonna dot it
around the table.
If you can go to
one part of the table,
and I can go to the other.
Oh.
We need the pita.
Hey, guys.
Yay!
So, this is baba ganoush.
Feta, hummus, and some olives.
You guys, I don't even
know what I'm eating.
There's, like, beans in this.
It's hummus.
Ooh, that's good.
I'm getting hangry.
We need more than bread.
Why have I got a pillow?
First lunch service,
I'm feeling a little bit...
Okay...
...frazzled.
- Right there.
- Oh!
Oh, my God, Peng.
What is happening,
I don't even get it right now.
Oh, was that from me?
I'll attend to it right away,
no worries.
What can I do, apart from
just roll with the punches?
I'm not God, as much
as I look like him.
Maybe we should stop
drinking for a minute.
I have the meat, guys.
So, we have chicken over here,
and then we've got lamb as well.
Sh..., I'm already full.
Where did this even come from?
I'm sweating like an
absolute filthy, reckless...
That was so good.
It was so good,
that was amazing.
Okay, we'll come out and clear.
Cool, let's start with platters.
Let's go swim!
And so tonight, I've got
three dancers coming on.
I'm gonna send for them
to come in a water taxi.
At 5:30 we've got
the birthday cake pickup.
Five-thirty and
pick up a giant cake,
might have someone in it,
might not.
I don't think it will then,
but it will eventually.
Cool.
Okay, let's try that,
how does it look?
You look amazing.
- Thank you very much.
- Yep.
Oh sh..., it's wet.
- Why is it wet?
- We're on an ocean.
Oh!
Look how pretty this is.
Nine o'clock's fine for dinner?
It's tasting menus,
truffle, Italian,
every.....ing thing.
You can get that done in an hour
and a half.
- Oh, yeah.
- They're gonna be absolute...
- ing wasted?
- Knee-deep wasted by then.
Love it.
I'm excited for the rage party.
I hope my break is on
that dumbass party.
I'm excited about the rage,
I'm excited.
For somebody else's rage?
They want us to be a part of it.
- I know, but I'm...
- We can't drink, but...
I won't be raging, then.
If I were second stew,
I'd have fun with it,
a little more fun.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Alissa, she's like that kid
in class who got all A's,
and I was that kid in class
who was like,
if I just get a C, man, like,
we just gon' roll out with
that degree, pack it up.
- Camille, Camille, Fraser.
- Go ahead.
Can you meet me in
the crew mess, please?
Yeah, I've gotta run some
drinks and I'll be right down.
- You can go.
- I am.
Oh, no, I was talking to Fraser.
- Oh, go to Fraser?
- Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Oh, my God,
that cake is awesome.
- Hello.
- Okay, got it?
Gorge.
They're gonna love those,
aren't they?
No, these are great.
- Oh!
- Oh!
- I made it.
- Ooh.
- Can you come down now, please?
- Yeah.
We're also gonna dress the crew.
I'm excited.
Yeah, these are fun,
aren't they?
Almost looks better, doesn't it?
And this way, it's a surprise.
Yeah, it really is.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm so small,
like, even sitting
on this top thing
I see right here.
Shut up!
You guys, I lost my sunglasses.
They're on your face.
They're drunker than a bunch of
four-peckered goats, ain't they?
Got it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
This thing is so slippery.
Grab the middle part.
Where my hands are, you see?
Yeah!
Darling, go down and get into
your blacks for me, please?
- Dress?
- Yes, please.
Nice to be on the hook instead
of running around in the dark.
- You've never been to Utah?
- I've not, no.
I'll tell you this,
it will surprise you.
I mean, I just adore gay...
- Anything.
- Anything.
Do you know about Mormons?
Well, I've heard.
Did you know
we were all Mormon?
- Was there a...
- Like, all of us here.
- We're all Mormon.
- We were all Mormons.
We were all Mormon.
- What does that mean?
- Multiple wives.
See, I just...
No, not multiple wives,
that's not Mormon.
No, that's not Mormon.
Okay.
Point three,
point four on the swing...
humping.
I have been a captain 37 years,
I've been knocking around
the Caribbean for a long time.
St. Lucia's just one of
my favorite islands.
I just love coming here,
it's breathtaking.
But you've got the trade winds
down here, and it's gonna blow.
Just like, waa, waa.
It's gonna make your
life miserable.
Suck it up, creampuff.
Ain't nothing but wind.
It's going to be
very tiny tonight.
Okay, so small bowls.
Yeah, I don't even think
they're that hungry.
No, well, they're drunk as well.
Love you, thank you.
Interior, would one
of you be able
to bring eight wine glasses
from behind the bar?
Copy that, Fraser.
Hello, my love.
Hello, gorgeous girl.
It's pretty classic,
pretty chic.
[glass shatters]
How many have we lost?
- One.
- Yeah.
Is it the boat or is it me?
- No, the boat's rocking.
- No, the boat is bad.
Help me.
Hey, Rache, we just had a lot
of things go over in the galley.
Tony, can you get us
some kind of broom?
What happened?
The boat rocked and
everything went sideways.
We got a problem.
I have to stop
what I'm doing
and I have to go over and
clean everything thoroughly.
If somebody, like, chews on
glass, I mean, that's my ass.
But it takes time.
This is, like, such a nightmare.
Coming up...
The crew area needs a vacuum.
The crew needs
a vacuum right now.
Literally have to
stop what I'm doing
to chase her around the boat.
What happened?
The boat rocked and
everything went sideways.
This dinner service
is not going how I planned.
I've got glass everywhere, and
now I'm in such a time crunch.
The only thing I'm worried
about is me spiraling
and.....ing shove my
foot up someone's ass.
Thank you, guys.
Here we go!
Oh, is that for me?
That's for you.
Rachel, Rachel, Fraser.
Have you got an ETA?
Can I escort them to the table?
I just wanna welcome you guys
to dinner
upstairs in the sky lounge. Yes.
I've had a wedgie for
about two hours.
This looks way too pretty!
Y'all, we look like
Mississippi porch whores.
[laughing]
- Towel's a bit wet.
- Yeah, they're wet.
[giggles]
- Breads?
- Yeah, breads can go.
- Can I get some butter?
- I've not got butter ready.
Okay.
Offer them everything,
they've got drinks coming.
I'm gonna get
a chardonnay as well.
[gasps]
We have it!
[bleep] it, I've just got a
little bread for right now,
we've got all our
starters working.
I don't eat bread,
so, like, whatever.
It doesn't?
I feel like it does.
Squeeze it in!
These guests are getting
extremely.....ed up.
Can you pass the oil?
Girl!
That's, like, my vibe.
I love drinking.
If you wanna help
Hayley out, yeah.
So, what time was dinner at?
It's 10:00.
Why are we sitting here?
We just want the food.
Fraser, Fraser, the first
course that will be coming out
will be the cauliflower puree.
They've requested a
multi-course tasting dinner.
There's a lot that goes into it,
and everything's downstairs.
It's a lot of running around,
and every single second
counts when you're in service.
It's like zero to 100, okay?
Don't be a [bleep].
- Not you.
- Deck crew, Fraser.
Is anyone on deck
available to help me serve?
We're a bit behind.
I can help, if you need it.
Hey, love.
Brilliant.
I feel like Peng is, like,
so, like, welcoming.
He was, like, my first,
like, friend in Salt Lake,
and he just, like...
like, loved you.
- Oh!
- And I love you.
That was actually so cute.
Oh, Fraser, you want
both of us?
If you're free.
- Take your napkin?
- Yes, thank you.
Yeah, that came out perfect.
But what is that?
Hi, I'm letting you
know what you're eating.
It's mushrooms.
Actually, it is
roasted cauliflowers...
plural, different types.
It's totally mushrooms.
There's no mushrooms in it.
What?
So good, I just ate it all.
With a little bit of an
herbaceous morel broth.
- It's delicious.
- Thank you.
- Thank you!
- It's so good.
It's totally mushrooms,
but that's all right.
So, what's dinner service like?
I felt like a sh...-show.
Do we think we'll
get more food, or no?
Was that it?
It's supposed to be five-star
and it feels like...
- Yeah.
- three to me.
It just was like, there's no
butter prepared, no wine pulled.
She needs to just
stop with the whining.
Do you feel like
it was rushed, or?
Discombobbled.
Just smile,
suck it up and carry on.
Good evening.
I have some
beautiful sh*ts, guys.
Oh!
- And you had the Fireball?
- Fireball, yeah.
- Cool.
- Oh, God.
- Thank you guys.
- Of course.
Follow me, guys, please.
Cheers, cheers, cheers.
- Woo!
- No, right, it's extra fiery.
It's like sucking on
the devil's d*ck.
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
Eew!
Oh, my God, Peng,
don't throw up!
He will.
No, he will.
No, yeah, I think... yeah.
So, for how long have you been
doing this?
- Doing this...
- Yes.
- About 15 years.
- For real?
Oh, that's pretty cool.
For years, yeah.
If you want to borrow
any of our outfits...
Yes, you're more than welcome.
Oh, I'm so bored.
Will it take forever?
Are you drunk yet?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Yeah, they're really impatient.
I'm going.
They're bored sh...less and
it's Peng's birthday tonight.
We still have a party
to give them after.
So, like, it's
stressing me out a lot.
Rache?
Where are you at?
They're just.....ing bored
and they're drunk.
We're being antsy.
This has been a minute.
- Wait, there's vodka.
- No, look, there's food.
- Thank you.
- Ugh!
So cute, I feel like a rabbit.
So, this is a shaved
Brussels sprout salad...
- Oh!
- With truffle oil on top.
Ooh, I love truffle.
You're gonna try
a wig on, come on.
We're gonna try a wig, bro!
The things that we do
in this boat, eh?
I think it works.
I think the outfit
is complete, right?
You guys look amazing.
I am dying.
I am dying right now.
- Hi.
- Hi, baby gorgeous.
Hi, baby gorgeous.
- What's going on?
- Not much.
Yeah, I know.
Your next course is on its way.
I'm plating now.
I don't know,
I'm not hungry anymore.
Ben, you know I'm pretty chill,
but I'm.....ing bored.
I'm changing.
Okay.
Rachel, let's just do dessert.
Yeah, I don't know
where they went.
Most of them have
left the table.
What happened?
They're like, "We're bored,
we're getting ready
for the rave."
And I'm gonna cry.
Ben, you know I'm pretty chill,
but I'm.....ing bored.
I'm changing.
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah!
Rachel, let's just do dessert.
Yeah, I don't know
where they went.
Most of them have
left the table.
Dump it, get rid of it,
I don't care.
Suck my d*ck.
I'm.....ing eating it.
Yeah.
I'll see you guys for the party.
Yeah.
I feel really bad.
Mm.
If one of you would like
to go on this side,
and you can join here.
My ass is gonna be able to
jiggle in this type of material.
How does this thing go?
Hi!
It was so good,
everything was so good.
- Oh, my gosh, amazing.
- Thank you...
These are edible, by the way.
- The whole thing?
- The whole thing.
It's like a white
chocolate that's done with
a glaze and a mold, and
then inside of it is lemon curd,
along with blueberries
and whipped cream.
All right, let's go, girls.
This has been
a day one from hell.
- We'll get faster.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, no doubt.
Today's been a
sh.......-ing-show.
These guests are
definitely ready to party,
and I'm gonna
hopefully turn this around.
Oh, I feel alive.
Camille, do you want her in
bed by a certain time?
Will you assign her a job
before she goes down?
Oh, my God, I love that!
And then they wanna see his face
on everyone, if that's cool.
- Let's go.
- Okay, let's go.
Yes, all right, you ready, dude?
Well, well, well, look at you.
All right, man in box.
Y'all... oh!
- Woo!
- Yes!
Woo!
[cheering]
Yas, queen, twerk,
twerk, and twerk!
Yes, yes, yes!
Whoa!
We're gonna set the.....ing
thing on fire.
♪ Happy birthday to you
Oh, my God, thank you.
Oh, my God, thank you so much.
Woo!
I'm gonna keep you up this evening...
- Okay.
- Because I'm gonna be on early.
Bye, guys!
Thank you, bye-bye.
Well, that was that.
You can go down.
I'm tired.
Night, guys, see you
in the morning.
See you, mate.
Oh, my God, how is
it only day one?
- k*ll me now.
- We're going to bed.
We will see
y'all tomorrow morning.
Good night.
I'm broken.
I am feeling so
unbelievably overwhelmed,
I feel like I've bitten off
far more than I can chew,
and I do not feel prepared
or capable of doing this job.
Ugh.
Do you wanna finish up there,
and then the bar needs
to be restocked.
I've seen them drink Pellegrino,
and lots of flat
water, actually.
They like to drink some water.
They do.
This is, like,
the stupidest sh...
I think I've been up
for 24 hours.
I am so.....ing tired.
- How are you holding up?
- Water's stocked.
All the fridges are like that?
Yeah, the look pretty
good with everything
that everyone's drinking.
Cool.
If anything, you know,
there's always tomorrow.
We'll walk through
and we'll get you to bed.
Oh.
The crew area needs a vacuum.
The crew needs
a vacuum right now?
If you don't want to, know
that I'm gonna do it, so.
I'm gonna go check the
fridges while you vacuum.
Literally have
to stop what I'm doing
to chase her around the boat.
And it's, like,
There's no flat water in
the glow fridge.
This water, right here,
it's in the glow fridge.
Babe, I just went down to
the fridge, it's not stocked.
Okay, let's go down
to the fridge.
And let's bring some water
with us.
And, like, as much
as you hate to hear it,
I hate to tell you even more.
Like, trust me.
There's a way to lead
and there's bossing.
We're trying to get you to bed,
but we're also trying to
get you to do it right.
Bossing is I'm gonna push
you down, tell you what to do,
and make you do it
because that's what
you're just gonna do.
And that does not
sit well with me at all.
Take a look in this fridge.
There's space for flat,
there's space for Pellegrino,
there's space for
more sodas right here.
This is an empty fridge to me.
Right, but there's
flat water in here.
If she doesn't wanna
be corrected,
just do it correctly.
Ugh.
You could stock it with whatever
you want, as long as it's full.
I'm just trying
to be real with you.
You should just stock
a fridge
so I don't have to tell
you how to do it.
It's easy.
You said put flat water
in here, and I did.
This girl's getting
on my nerves.
This is gonna be a long season.
This season on "Below Deck"...
♪ Yeah, I'd like to know
♪ Where you got the notion
♪ To rock the boat
♪ Don't rock the boat
Is dessert gonna
be you, Captain?
I think I'm schvitzing.
Woo!
Whoa.
Maybe yachting's
just not for you.
These guests, they
like to get.....ed up.
I'm definitely on their wavelength.
Woo!
I do like to frequent intimate
relations with the opposite sex.
A week with no sex
for me is really hard.
You look very Namaste.
- Oh!
- Woo!
Welcome to the circus.
We are going to work
your asses to the bone.
We're gonna lose
this one, quickly!
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
What the [bleep] is he doing?
Keep your head down.
Whoa!
Can you be a bit
more erect, please?
You will lose your job
because you.....ed up.
Why am I doing all the.....ing
dishes on the yacht?
If you're looking for sympathy,
it's in the dictionary between
sh... and "syphilis."
If my wig flies off,
somebody's jumping in to get it.
My mind's there,
my heart's there.
My body just won't cooperate.
Ah!
So, I've made a decision.
What the [bleep]
is going on up in here?
♪ Don't rock the boat
10x01 - Love Never Lasts at the Beach
Watch/Buy Amazon
Show chronicles the lives of the crew members who work and reside aboard a superyacht during charter season.
Show chronicles the lives of the crew members who work and reside aboard a superyacht during charter season.