08x08 - No Way Rosé

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Below Deck"...

Unfortunately, the time has
come for us to part company.

You're just not
getting it done for me.

Captain said there are
people that are

not working to their
full potential.

He is only talking
about Deck Crew.

I just want to see you.

[sobbing]

-Do you feel like you're dizzy?
-Yeah, I want to eat something.

I feel like I'm dizzy.

That's it.

Is there a possibility we
can get somebody else?

Not before the next charter.

Brian is one of North Carolina's
top Realtors,

and he expects
Maine lobster feast

with authentic
New Orleans cuisine,

an elaborate ten course dinner.

That's despicable.

So no, I'd like the flight home.

This charter is over
before it even gets started.

We are so ----ed.

Eat my cooter.

All right, let's do this.

Morning, girls.

Good morning.

Oh yeah, you can massage me.

Oh yeah.

[laughing]

Oh that feels good.

Work harder, work harder.

[laughing]

[phone dialing]

So we're picking up guests
in what, four hours?

-Yeah.
-Okay.

Hello?

Please hang up and
try your call again.

We're in high season in Antigua,

so any chef that's worth a
damn is already working.

What a crock of sh--.

Do we have a, uh, chef, yet?

No, do we have a deckhand yet?

-No.
-No.

-No, really.
-That's good.

We've got very
demanding guests

arriving within
a couple of hours.

I need a charter chef
that's capable of everything

on this guy's preference sheet.

Please hang up and
try your call again.

We're screwed.

So many bugs.

Yeah, thank you.

We're still not organized.

-Morning, kiddo.
-Hi, good morning.

How are you?

How's the chef and
deckhand hunt going?

Uh, how about a coffee
before we discuss that?

Ow.

[laughing]

Here we are.

How are you doing?

Good, how are you?

Thank you.

Yes, you're welcome.

It's the pickiest charter
in the world,

-and we don't have a chef.
-Oh my God.

Worst case scenario, we cancel.

Guys, our chef just walked off
before you got on.

What do you want to do,
give you a refund?

I don't know.

Gosh, oh my God, I can't
believe this is happening.

It's happening.

Do you have a new deckhand?

I'm more concerned with that,

about not having
a chef right now.

Oh sh--, be making baked
beans on toast.

I'll just get her
some Mickey D's,

and just throw it up
on a ----ing silver platter.

♪ Make it all shiny and new ♪

♪ Gonna make my deck
pretty for you ♪

Hi.

How y'all doing?

Good, how you doing?

-Good, I'm Rob.
-Eddie.

-Oh, hi.
-Nice to meet you.

I'm Francesca.

I'm, uh, the new deck hand.

-Awesome.
-Ah great.

What kind of experience
do you got, working on boats?

-Uh, sailing boats.
-Sailing boats?

So mostly like under


Okay.

So we have a charter
at 12 today.

-That's a little tight.
-You think?

We--we also need a chef.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, and a chef.

-Ah, the new person.
-Hi.

-Hey, I'm Rob.
-Hi, I'm Izzy.

-Izzy?
-Nice to meet you.

-Yeah, nice to meet you.
-Chef, deck hand?

-Deckhand.
-Deckhand!

-Yeah.
-Oh, that's exciting.

Will you please show him
to his new quarters?

Yes, I will.

Thank you very much.

So you're sharing
with your boss.

At least he's cute.

Fantastic.

[laughing]

-Hi.
-Ashling.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

-This is your room.
-Think I'm already lost.

[humming]

-Captain Lee.
-Hi, Rob.

-Hi, nice to meet you.
-How are you?

-Good, thank you.
-Welcome aboard.

Hey, girls, laundry looks good.

Hey guys!

He's the new guy?

Yeah, he seems like
he knows his sh--.

That makes one of us, eh?

I'm really happy
to have Rob on the team.

He has experience,
which is definitely

going to be a change of pace.

Just another day in paradise.

Anything is better than Shane.

-What's happening?
-Nice to meet you, I'm James.

-James, I'm Rob.
-Nice to meet you.

Reckon you guys are going
to be fine friends.

Two and a half hours
till pick up

and I'm sitting here
choking my chicken.

[sighs]

All right.

Are you back?

I don't know,
it's up to Captain.

-What's happening?
-Hi, I'm Rachel.

Rachel, I'm Robert.

I got to go speak
with Captain.

Last night, my head
was all over the place.

[bleep] yourself.

Not knowing the severity
of coronavirus,

me missing my boyfriend,
I just couldn't take it anymore.

So now, I have to suck it up
and crawl back to Captain Lee,

but he doesn't give two
[bleep]s and a sh-- about

some bullsh-- ego.

Hi. I'm sorry.

I want to apologize
and say that was

super unprofessional and
I'm very, very sorry.

There's no disrespect to you.

I actually love working with you

and respect you as a person
and as a captain as well.

And if it's possible,
may I come back and--

and do this charter
and do it successfully,

and do it with you guys?

Normally when somebody leaves,
they don't get to come back.

She ----ing
walked off the boat.

And I am pissed.

But like it or not, chefs are
prone to do sh-- like that.

Do you want to cook,
would you like to cook?

-Are you any good at cooking?
-I told you--

Then don't come out with that
bullsh-- to me, yeah?

Please don't.

You're not that good,
girlfriend.

You're far from it.

I don't give a [bleep].

I'm on board with that.

Okay.
Thank you, Captain.

Part of me wanted
to just say, [bleep] it.

Chess, Chess, Lee.

I'll cancel the charter, and
let her just swing in the wind.

Oh my God, you're back.

-Thank you, yeah, thank you.
-Okay.

But when the guests get on
board they're going to expect

to be fed, so this is
the only play I got.

I've got a lit of sh-- to do.

Yes, you do.

Part of me is like, really
stoked that she's back.

Because, she's a great chef.

And that makes my job easier.

-Hi.
-You're back.

But, when someone disrespects
me, trust is out the window.

Francesca, she has
a perception about me.

Go and talk to Captain Lee.

He could be...

Moving forward, things are
strictly professional

between Rachel and myself,

and it's the same deal
with Elizabeth.

I have a job to do,
I need to get it done.

-So sorry.
-That's okay, you're back now.

Where about's you from anyway?

Just north of Toronto,
in Canada.

I'm going to take the trash out.

I didn't even bring
my luggage back on board.

What were you doing before
working on boats and stuff?

Living out in a tent somewhere
in the bush, looking for gold.

Oh, sweet.

I'm an exploration geologist.

Which means, in a nutshell,
I'm like a nerdy Indiana Jones.

Growing a beard and
carrying shotgun around.

I look for gold, but uh,
as soon as the markets crash,

I lose my job.

Which is why super yachting
is kind of like

the fall back, sometimes.

Complete opposite of this,

where you're surrounded by
shiny things and opulence.

Sailing's always going
to be a part of my life.

My grandpappy was in the navy.

His grandad was in the navy.

I come from a long line
of pirates and hookers

and it was where
I was meant to be.

I'm not kidding.

What's this brush doing there?

Uh, gross.

What are you doing?

Don't you know that us
chef's have mental breakdowns,

then we just come back again.

What?

Rachel's back,
like nothing ever happened.

Eddie, is there any
possible way I can get

some help bringing my
luggage back on board?

Yes, Rachel.

But something did happen,
and I don't forget.

-[loudly grunting]
-Do not drop it in the water.

What do you mean do not drop it?

I'm throwing it in the water.

I don't think Rachel
deserves her job back.

God damn it.

But we need her back.

[grunting]

For now.

Oh God.

Looking at the preference
sheets, and then doing the menu.

Chivalry.

Oh [bleep], [bleep],
have I locked her out?

[laughing]
Your chivalry failed.

Chocolate petits fours,
topped with gold leaf.

Just for sh--s and giggles,

I looked up how
to make marshmallows.

They're easy.

You can do it, especially when
I start separating all the eggs.

All this food for this charter,
there's a lot.

At this point,
I'm not prepared for it.

That's canapé.

Oysters for canapés tonight.

It's completely my fault.

----ing bury me.

It's going to be
very interesting.

This will be a memory
that you tell your grandkids,

like that one charter
where we all just got

royally ----ed up the ass.

So, on night one
of their charter,

this group would like a
Mardi Gras themed dinner party.

Nice.

On day two of the charter,
Bryan would like the crew

to plan a beach picnic,
followed by a sunset bonfire.

A Maine lobster feast,
copious amounts of appetizers,

low country boil.

Fresh figs and strawberries,
La France themed dinner party.

Plenty of red, white,
and blue decorations,

and elaborate ten course dinner.

We'll get there.

Holy sh--,
us girls are going to die.

We need to be
organized for this.

So I'll keep you on the mornings

and I'm going to keep
you on the lates.

Yep, okay.

I want to talk to you
about a few things.

-Sure.
-Again.

Thanks, Ash, I'll see you soon.

-See you later.
-Okay, cool.

So, the galley pantry,
it's not completely clean.

Beach set up stuff
its still a mess.

I really need you
to step up the game

because the two-stripe
situation

is not working for me
at the moment.

Second, for the moment.

Yes.

I'm really sorry
for lacking in some areas,

but I really plan on


This boat's definitely
testing me.

And I know that every little
thing is going to be watched.

Your future on this
boat depends

on how you perform
on this charter.

If you want it bad enough,
you'll be here.

Right, and I do.

I'm up for the challenge.

I'm not going anywhere.

-Cool.
-Yeah.

I appreciate that.

All crew, all crew, we have
provisions on the dock.

Copy for interior.

How do I get to the galley?

The galley's right there.

Le fromage.
It's stinky.

So this is interior stuff.

Don't [bleep] with the chef.

Yay!

Attention all crew,
we have guest arrival in 20.

All right.

Oh my God, all right.

Getting the whites on?

Yeah, whites.

Oh man, I got a fuzzy taco.

[laughing]

This kind of feels like
the first day of school.

I know, it's pretty
exciting, right?

Wipe the bridge deck aft table.

We'll do it together, let's go.

Chamois a day keeps
Eddie away.

Yep.

God, I'm good at my job.

-Ash?
-Yeah?

Will you just get the welcome
towels, and meet me downstairs?

Sure.

Andale, let's go!

Woo!

[yells in pain]

Ah, that was no fun.

From what I hear,
these guests seem

so high maintenance
and so crazy.

How does everything look?

Beautiful.

We are going to get
absolutely whipped.

You ready to get ----ed up the
ass with a cactus this charter?

I don't know.

Let the games begin.

Coming up...

This is not right.

How are we coming with
the slide, bubba?

Oh guys, you got to see this.

Oh no!

I'm not walking
on a g*ng plank barefoot,

it's going to be hot.

Let the games begin.

At least I'm manicured.

That's pedicured.

You're pedicured.

He does look like Elton John.

Hello, how are you?

How are you doing?

-I'm Francesca.
-Look at this.

-Welcome.
-I'm Morgan.

Welcome on board.

-Izzy.
-Izzy.

-Nice to meet you.
-Lovely to meet you.

They're so ----ing cute.

They're like little like,
gay teddy bears.

-Cheers.
-Gentlemen, welcome aboard.

Francesca will take you
on a tour of the boat,

and we'll get the party started.

-If you'll follow me.
-Luggage.

Where's the elevator?

I guess I won't need
to do any workouts,

I'm getting them just up
and down the stairs.

We're on the sundeck now,
I've got the jacuzzi.

What a gorgeous boat.

Yeah, not terrible.

Oh, how fun,
I want to sleep here.

So this is called
the crow's nest.

-Oh yeah.
-Ah!

Tallest part of the boat.

-I love it.
-All of it.

This is main deck salon.

Here's where I can
pose for my selfie.

And this is the master.

Ooh.

Shower and bath.

Oh, and a his and his bidet.

We're going to have
to have meetings, here.

I can entertain in there.

[gasp]
Chocolate!

Chocolate.

I figure that we
get into our blues.

Yeah.

There you are.

Hello, darling.
We're ready to set sail.

We're out of here, copy.

All right, let's go up
to the other deck.

The one that's slack now,
I would do first.

Yeah, that's what
I would do, too.

-To everybody here.
-Yay!

To everyone here.

Ready?

All ground tackle in,
buoy is being pulled out

of the way, we're good to go.

We're moving my darlings.

Yay!

[cheering]

Look at the size of the birdie.

Port side ground tackle is at
the stern and four feet off.

Copy that, thank you.

-Is that Rob?
-I love a good docking.

Yes.

Look how much bigger
we are than everyone else.

I love that.

♪ What the [bleep] did we
do with anything? ♪

♪ Where does anything go? ♪

Am I really, like,
making this team slack?

Oh, I wouldn't say it's slack.

I really love this job,
like, I don't want to lose it.

And I just hope
that those little things

-will happen less and less.
-Yeah.

-Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.

We'll see what happens.

Play with your crystals.

I sure will, they help.

Nice job calling out
that distance on that buoy.

Hello!

[laughing]

Hey, Rachel?

Can I just confirm
silverware with you?

Run it by Francesca
how she wants it.

I really like Elizabeth,
but unfortunately,

I'm setting my relationship
with Elizabeth aside,

because now I'm in the middle
dealing with the drama

between Francesca and Elizabeth

and I don't want it to
affect my department.

[sighs]

I just want to focus on my job,
prove myself,

and kiss some serious
Captain ass right now.

We'll get there.

Did you verify
that the drum break

was nice and tight
before you did that?

-Yeah, I checked it.
-Okay.

And the pinch breaks
just grabbing the chain.

Pinching it.

Yep.

I got truffles.

Give me three sh*ts now.

Three sh*ts there.

Okay, let's lock it in.

We're officially anchored, now.

-Nice job, Izzy.
-Thanks!

Everything's like,
stable right now,

-I feel like I'm on land.
-Yeah.

Okay.

Look how perfectly
they're setting

the plates down in unison.

-This is beautiful,
-I love the service.

Hello.

You have a butter
poached scallop prawn,

along with
a black summer truffle.

I am blown away.

Enjoy.

-That's really good.
-Truffles!

We're doing all right.

James, can you take Rob back
to the swim platform please,

and start handling some toys.

Is there an open bottle
of Whispering Angel?

No, I thought it
was the finished.

You finish a bottle, make
sure you open another one.

Okay.
So you have one ready.

I thin Elizabeth thinks
she's a full-on diner waitress.

She pours wine bottles
by the neck.

That for me says it all.

Standards are
pretty low, right now.

-Ooh, sorry.
-Sorry.

How's lunch?

-Very good.
-Amazing.

-Very good, thank you.
-Wonderful to hear, guys.

We want him for dinner.

[laughing]

Oh yeah.

Coronavirus is out of control.

Did you see there were sh--'s
happening in Tortola?

What? Coronavirus in Tortola?

Uh, there's a rumor of it,
and then instantly, all the--

the masks in Tortola sold out.

They said the outbreak is
going to be bad in the US.

Tr*mp, ----ing Tr*mp's like,

"we have nothing to worry about,
everything's great here."

[laughing]

Let's go play.

Oh my God, there's floaties.

You got names for them yet?

Deborah and Bruno.

Deborah's the one
that never cooperates.

-How are you doing?
-Lunch went successful.

That's a start.

Uh, and then now we're going
to do our

eight-course tasting menu.

What time are
they planning dinner?

I think it's going
to be about 8:30, 9:00.

I think the only way
Rachel knows how to display

her mea culpa is through
her culinary skills.

Once you lose the trust
that you once had,

it's hard to get it back.

She should be doing her utmost,
knock it out of the park.

Am I going to keep
a close tab on her?

Absolutely.

I'm just in
the get it done mode.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

And you're off.

Woo!

Jump on Deborah,
tell her who's boss.

Ow!

We don't want Deborah
to get hurt, now.

Dearest Deborah.

[bleep] off.

[laughing]

You're going to get better
Deborah, just hold on.

Deborah had a little
too much to drink.

I'm going to do a roasted
red pepper gazpacho,

chili oil poached crawdads.

Okay.

-Did you enjoy it?
-Yes.

-Yes?
-It's always fun.

-Super fun?
-Seem to be learning quick.

If you're working with a solid
crew, the job's pretty easy.

Now we have a solid crew.

Okay, Mr. Mardi Gras, perfect.

This is way too much,
this is a bit mental.

We look so good.

Let's see, totally Mardi Gras.

-That looks okay, right?
-Yeah.

-What do you think?
-I like it.

By the way we definitely need to
get to know each other better,

because I feel like
all we talk about is work.

Sorry.

You got a boyfriend?

[giggling]
Uh, I don't.

Touchy subject?
Let's not talk about it?

No, it's not touchy,
it's just,

I got out of like,
a relationship, recently.

I get it, honestly.

I feel like I'm definitely jaded
by previous relationships,

and when I'm in a relationship,
I get very possessive.

Let's just say there's like
a very special place in hell

for girls that like try
to interfere with your man.

What, so do you have like
a physical look you go for?

Tall, short? Blonde?

Um, taller.

I am a hopeless romantic,
so with James,

I'm not going to lie, like,
I'm really attracted to him.

So you're in to guys
that are taller?

[giggling]

She seemed really mad, and--

I feel like I just
disrupted you guys.

Sh--.

[sighs]

Mardi Gras night, eh?



We're doing Mardi Gras in style.

Anything I can do to help you?

God damn.

If you wouldn't mind
crushing some ice for me?

Yeah.

One crown, one lobster.

-Big gold chain.
-Glasses.

-Ready?
-Yeah.

Let's do this.

Does anyone need help?

One, two, three,
happy Mardi Gras!

[cheering]

Copy that.

This table scape is amazing.

Purple.

It is amazing.

Okay, you do water.

And then, I'll do wines.

-Okay, you got it?
-I've got it, yeah.

I've been to Mardi Gras.

I'm not a fan,
I'm not showing my tits.

I barely have
any dignity anyways.

-Crawdad.
-I love crawdads.

Ahoo!

But tonight, I have to
prove to Captain Lee

that he did not
make a bad decision.

So we're trying to keep it
as Mardi Gras as possible,

but still a little bit,
yeah, treat yo self.

Eight courses this evening.

-Wow.
-Only eight.

You guys look great.

For your starter, you have
a kumamoto oyster

with a micro cilantro and
a Yuzu pearl.

Sounds delicious, thank you.

-Thank you.
-Yay.

-Enjoy.
-Oh my gosh.

-Mmm.
-It's so refreshing.

She is on it.

Agreed.

Perfect. I'm actually
finished with this course.

Yeah.

So, for your second course
this evening,

it is a roasted red pepper
and bell pepper gazpacho.

-Ooh.
-Please enjoy.

-Wow.
-Hercules!

-They're too thin.
-They're yum.

Is that starch?

- Yeah.
- On every napkin?

Yep.

There's a key difference between
sailing boats and super yachts.

One's gritty and has, like
this grand sense of adventure

and achievement about it,
and the other one is cushy

with tons of beautiful people.

There's that motivation
to shower every single day.

Yep.

It's got to be perfect.

The fascinator
is being passed on.

Oh my God,
it works so perfectly.

It really does.

I love a fascinator too, guys.

This is amazing.

Thank you.

This course is lightly
sautéed cherry tomato concasse.

Green beans sautéed
with pistachio oil.

-Oh my God.
-Mm.

Enjoy.

Very good.

Ready, go.

It smells like incense,
so good.

Blackwood.

Just act naturally.

Eddie, Eddie, Lee.

What was that noise, Eddie?

So this is happening.

Wow.

It's a smoked Andouille
sausage and pickled okra.

-That's amazing.
-Wow.

That's so cool.

-Ooh, ah!
-Rachel, I love it!

Yeah.

Fantastic.

An absolute genius.

Holy [bleep], that's like

the best meat I've
ever had in my life.

Yep.

Rachel can ----ing cook.

You have a rib eye
blackened on the outside.

Perfection.

Like, that girl is so good
with her hands in the kitchen.

Like, if she was a lesbian,

like, you'd be wanting
some of that.

Down there.

She's good with these.

So we have a vegetarian gumbo,
and some succotash.

My favorite things in the world.

Hey, Cap.

We're going to stay at
this anchorage tomorrow.

Start putting the slide
up about 8:00.

First thing, yep.

For your final course,
before the dessert,

you've got mud bugs.

Love my mud bugs,
I'm so excited.

How's Rob doing?

Good, he's never worked on
like the yachts like this,

but he still has
like, intuition.

I think he's going
to be a good fit.

Good.

-He's doing everything.
-Phenomenal.

I mean, literally.

There's not been a bad course.

-No.
-No.

No.

-Thanks Eddie.
-Thank you.

Oh my god.

It's like an orgasm in my mouth.

Is there anything
I can get on right now?

If you want
you can just go down.

You're doing real good.
I appreciate it, man.

-Good night.
-Good night.

Hear the cr*ck?

No, I can't eat this.

Fish... it's fish brains, bro.

You need to get over this.

He always said eat the ass,
suck the--

or, yeah, suck the head,
eat the ass,

yeah, something
like that, right?

Yeah.

Y'all are crazy.

Good night.

That is so pretty.

Not classy, I don't care.

Yay!

Happy Mardi Gras everybody.

That is absolutely stunning.

I'm actually
so happy right now.

She did an amazing job today,
it was lovely.

I want you to give her a
good long night's sleep.

Okay.

She nailed it.

Ah! [bleep]

I was so taken aback by like,

how she was speaking
to me yesterday, like--

-Oh, really?
-I was like, can we talk?

And she literally
was just like, no.

And like, would like
walk away from me.

She seemed really mad,
and confused.

-Hi.
-Hey.

Sh--.

You having an
awkward conversation,

I feel like I just disrupted you
guys talking about something.

No, it's not awkward, she's
just asking me how I'm feeling.

Yeah.

Just make sure the deck hose
out of the way.

Yes.

She just got really pissed off
that I was talking about her.

Well, she's assuming
every conversations about her,

then she's probably
doing something wrong.

It's not nice, you know?

My team is clearly talking
about me behind my back.

It really hurts my feelings.

I don't think
I'm making any close friends

on this boat right now.

It does suck, but
I don't feel like I can trust

anyone on this boat.

Coming up...

If you need a hand,
we can break away

from the important things
we're doing.

Francesca puts out
some pretty hot vibes.

Tell me more about
this lobster crab boil.

I'm just so awkward.

See you in the morning.

It's like a w*r zone.

Things with Francesca
are not good right now.

All I can do is show
her how hard I can work.

If she really doesn't
see that already.

I have the fire under my ass,
and the jobs will get done.

So isn't that what
matters in the end?

Okay, you left
the toilet seat up.

What's wrong with you?

You're welcome.

Good morning.

Thank you.

Ash, do you want
to just go quickly

look outside at the table,

and just like take in
if we need anything else.

Yep.

Uh, we also need you
to rip down these decorations.

Oh.

Not during service, it should
have been done last night.

Maybe she forgot.

Move it a bit to the right.

There you go.

Good morning.

Hi, good morning.

Captain, Captain, Ash,
would you like some breakfast?

-About 15 minutes, please.
-Copy.

Good morning, Captain,
today's breakfast special

is the French toast, would you
like for me to make you some?

Absolutely.

Copy that.

I'm not the typical gay, I've
only seen one Broadway show.

You--I can't even sit
next to you right now.

[laughing]

How's the wind out there?



Let's put a slide up.

-Hey.
-Hey, how's it going?

-Did you sleep well?
-I did.

What time did you go to bed?

Um, what did I write down?
Was it 1:45?

-Did you write on the board?
-I did.

Did you--I wrote a
little note on the bottom.

Oh, okay, cool.
Okay, cool.

-Yeah, um, 1:45.
-How come so late?

Um, I had so much to do
when they went to bed.

-Okay.
-The funfetti--

-Oh yeah?
-All the pantries.

Okay, cause ideally we don't
need you up that late, as well.

I know.

I know you obviously need
to get stuff done, but I--

Yeah.

You know, we need
to just go even quicker.

Oh my God.

Yeah, I'll--I'll go even
quicker.

Like, it was a lot.

Now, I'm in trouble because
I went to bed too late?

But if you can get going
on cabin, master bedroom,

they'd like
their sheets changed.

-Hello.
-Hello.

-Really?
-Yes.

And then I have like,
no say against her.

-Cool.
-All right, cool, see you.

I have to just take it.

And it's hard.

I hate you, you know that?

Now we need to open this up.

[gasps]
Ah!

Slides!

Oh, the slide is coming down!

I am done, drizzle.

Thank you.

-Ooh, stunning.
-That looks delicious.

Amazing again.

Rachel, Rachel, Francesca.

Go ahead.

They are obsessed with
everything that you're doing.

Copy that.

Hell yeah, you know?

The guests are really
digging the food right now,

but there's another person
I've got to win over.

Hey Captain Lee, I made you a
special breakfast with love.

Oh, now this is something to
wake up to right here, pal.

Eddie, Eddie, Lee,

why is the slide not up?

I never want
to put the slide up. Ever.

It's just something that
is such a pain in the ass.

Hate it.

Like, can I wake up and make
kale smoothies and stuff?

Oh God, I'd love one, thank you.

Lunch is at when?

Lunch at around 1:00.

About 5:00 we'll have S'mores
and a bonfire on the beach.

I love our plan.

This might be the best
French toast I've ever had.

Hi.

Here's all the dirty sheets.

Whoa.

We just have to do sheet change
for all the guests.

You know what?
This is not right.

That's got to be attached
to the bottom--oh, God.

So you're saying
this is backwards?

How you guys going
on the inflating?

Um, we're just standing
for at the moment.

Just ----ing inflate
the God damn thing.

Come here you son of a bitch.

-Eddie, Eddie, Lee.
-Yeah, go ahead.

How are we coming with
the slide, bubba?

We've had better days.

Yeah, I guess you have.

Everything is wrong.

The epitome of a sh-- sandwich.

-The top part up there.
-Yeah.

They don't go down there,
they go up here.

It's got to come up this way.

That leg right now
has to be on this side.

So it's got
to rotate 180 degrees.

Oh God.

Nice grab.

Oh guys, you got to see this,
it's hilarious looking.

Today's going to be a sh--
day if he's stressed.

God, how you guys
[bleep] this up like this?

Oh, sh...

I feel sorry.

[bleep]

I need to get this line here.

I got this, Jesus Christ.

Careful, Captain.

-God damn it.
-Oh no!

Oh, shh...

I feel sorry!

[bleep]

I need to get this line here.

I got this, Jesus Christ.

Ribs are just something
that do not heal quickly.

All right.

-Get me a boat hook.
-Standard boat hook.

Crazy mother----er.

But if you want
something done right,

you've got to do it yourself.

Got this, it's long
enough for ya.

Captain Lee is like Tarzan-ing
it over the gunnels.

A little bit crazy,
but also like, so bad ass.

-There.
-Got it.

Ah, son of a bitch.

All right, we got it.

Take up on the bottom of that.

So, let's drag this, this way.

Get it in.

Got it.

Didn't think the old man had
those kind of reflexes, did you?

[chuckles]

All right, let's start
inflating the foot again.

We got her now, bud.
Good job.

There was nothing
good about that.

Jump in.

-Woo!
-Yay!

All aboard.

Have fun!

Mother----er, you ----ing
----ing slide.

I'm getting like the dumbest
----ing song stuck in my head.

I've got Britney Spears on
repeat.

Are you coming in?

I did it again?

I like Rob, way more than
I like everyone else.

He's only really been
on the boat for two hours,

but he's not taking
the job too seriously,

so what does that say about Rob

and what does that say
about everyone else?

[chuckles]

I'm looking forward to this.
This will be fun.

Is that the one
where she's in high school?

She's doing the little dance
down the hallway.

Oh yeah.

Gracefully done.

I'd love you do to the bonfire.

Yeah, I would love to do that.

Make sure we've got
the champagne flowing.

S'mores and rose.

Yeah.

Perfect.

If you need a hand,
we can break away from--

Oh, thanks.

- ...the important
things we're doing.

Francesca puts out
some pretty hot vibes.

If someone's going
to set my table,

I want it to be Francesca.

Have you done
a country boil before?

Never.

Never?

Neither have I.
I'm Australian.

My specialty is usually
epithermal gold systems,

so when it comes to flirting
with girls, I am hopeless.

Tell me more about
this lobster crab boil.

Well, it's just like a messy
seafood feast, I think.

All right.

I'm just so awkward.

We're just chamois-ing,
so if you need anything.

I'll let you know.

-All right.
-Thank you.

You're welcome.

That doing anything for you?

That was disgusting.

Okay.

Do you guys feel ready
for a lunch at 1:00?

I think so, everyone's
still planning on it.

I can handle my own clams.

These guys requested
a low country boil.

I love this stuff.

You've got Maine lobster.

You've got clams,
you've got Andouille sausage.

I'm sorry, but you request
all of this low country boil,

you're going to have it
to your heart's content.

Your ass is grass.

We need salt and pepper
and we need the butter dishes.

Uh, Rachel, Rachel.

I hope so too.

Oh, thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Hi.

Are you kidding me?

Well, y'all said, feast.

Y'all enjoy.

Yeah, just grab one.

I like her, though.
She coming to me.

Shall we get things
sorted for the beach party?

Yeah, two tables, six chairs.

Delicious.

Absolutely delightful.

Bye.

Do you want to have a little
bit of an earlier break?

Yeah, yeah.

You've got to be
on deck at 4:30.



We're going to go for the beach
at 4:30 to set up for S'mores.

While we're away, you and
Rob put away these toys.

Yeah.

[phone ringing]

Hi.

It's good.

The chief stew wanted me
to step up, so I'm stepping up.

I have a pretty close
relationship with my dad.

He's a lawyer in New York,
and he busts his ass.

He scares off people,

because he looks
like Tony Soprano

and he's tough and bald.

But he makes me
laugh more than anyone.

Really, I love him.

We're running around like--

Oh my God.

Holy mother tits, there's
that many dishes to do.

Are you hitting the toys?

I'm definitely hitting
the toys again.

They're going to love that.

How's your marshmallows coming?

Mm, b*mb.

Want to try it?

Just a little bit.

Pure sugar.

It's unicorn time.

Thank you.

Well ex*cuted.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[laughing]

I got a smoky quartz
crystal to...

Oh do you?

Sublimate any negative energy
that might come our way.

Good.

All right, my crew,
we're leaving right now.

Thank you, James.

That's the menu for tonight.

Beautiful.

That's about as French
as you can get.

Oh yeah.

You guys start setting up, okay?

Stick it in.

-There you go.
-Oh yeah.

How the [bleep] does
Tarzan do this?

Going in.

Wait there.

Prometheus, who was
the god of fire,

gave fire to the humans
and started civilization.

And that's kind of
like what were doing.

[sighs]

-All right.
-There you go.

I'm copilot.

Burn, bitch.

That is what I'm talking about.

This one coming out the bunk?

No, she's dry and
----ing sweet.

Welcome.

Now we are going to drink
rose and have S'mores.

-Yay, I love it.
-Rose, all day.

I wonder what
it's going to be like

trying to bring the slide in,
in the dark.

There's only one
way to find out.

That's very true.

Don't light your stick-on fire.

Might I mention,
these are homemade marshmallows,

from Rachel.

Oh, of course they are.

Um, they are
a dark chocolate Lindt.

Can I just get a rose?

Yes, absolutely.

Oh, sh--.

I only have one bottle of
the champagne, that's it.

-Have you got any other ones?
-No.

Oh, sh--.

I mean, I'm with Elizabeth
when it comes to Francesca

not being
the greatest boss, but uh,

I also think that she's not
the sharpest tool in the shed.

Yes?

They forgot champagne.

How fast can you get back
to the boat and back here?

Fast.

Francesca's going to love this.
[bleep]

Chess, Chess, Eddie.

Okay, copy that.

Would anybody like any water?

Sparkling or still?

I guess so.

-They forgot the champagne?
-I guess so.

-What the [bleep]
-I know.

What the [bleep]?

Would anybody like any water?

Sparkling or still?

Champagne, please.

Absolutely, and
I have refills of water.

I mean, really.

You're the best.

Yes, everything's still good.

Yay.

I'm okay.

Woo!

The sound of rose!

It's always a party
when champagne's a popping.

[laughing]

Ash, I am going to go
start pulling for dinner.

Various sheets that
we've turned over today.

Which ones?

-The--
-In the master?

All of them.

Oh, okay.
You changed all of them?

-Yeah.
-Why?

That's what Elizabeth told me
that you said to her.

Master bedroom, they'd like
their sheets changed.

I said change the master.

Okay.

I wish I knew that.

Dammit.

Elizabeth doesn't listen ever.

Goes through one ear
and out the other.

Swear to God.

Would you change sheets if you
didn't have to change sheets?

I wouldn't.

Listen, I'm the one
giving instruction.

Less--less job to do.

Frustrating.

Is there like, lavender
in the marshmallow?

-Yes.
-Rose.

Yes, rosewater.

It's amazing.

I would have been into
camping a lot more as a kid

if I had campfires and
S'mores like this.

Well, maybe my parents
would have sent me glamping.

Oh my God, the sun is setting.

-It's so pretty.
-It's so nice!

It's all about selfies.

Oh my God, I'm dying
for a swim, though.

Captain Lee, Captain Lee,
Francesca.

Go ahead, Chess.

I just had a quick question,
do you think, uh,

Ash and I could just jump in
the water really quickly?

Absolutely,
everybody's off the boat.

Take a break and
enjoy yourself.

Thanks so much.

Oh my God, I'm so excited.

Oh my God, let's
go down the slide.

Holy [bleep] I'm going
to freak out.

[screaming]

[screams]

So childish.

[screaming and laughing]

So romantic.

So romantic?

I would do so many things just
to jump in this water right now.

Do it in nighttime mode.
Do it in nighttime mode.

It automatically
goes to nighttime mode.

Ash and Francesca
just went into the water,

I heard on the radio.

-Really?
-Yeah, for a swim.

Are you annoyed
they went for a swim?

-Do I seem like it?
-Yeah.

-[laughing]
-You do.

I feel like Francesca
thinks that Ash

is like the perfect Angel,
and I'm a demon.

I just wonder if like,
if I was staying back,

if like that would happen.

-If that would happen?
-That's all.

Lobster claws, and
you got your favorite clams,

and a little bit of
corn on the cob.

Oh, thank you so much, Rachel.

Wow, that looks delicious.

I don't know
if she likes me, you know?

How's everything else going?

Well, apart from
forgetting the champagne,

that was quite a big one.

Well, if it makes
you feel any better,

Captain Lee said to me,
you know,

I really hope Elizabeth makes it
to the end of the season.

He said that?

He said that today.

He likes you.

Yeah, I know, but its like,
I'm kind of like,

well, yeah, I better make it
to the end of the season.

-Yeah.
-Well, if he likes you then--

Don't [bleep] around then.

She takes one step forward

and then two steps back
all the time.

She didn't take off the
decorations from the ceiling.

Plus, she forgot the champagne.

I mean, I know
there's a lot of work

on for this charter season.
You know?

What's going to happen with
her if she keeps giving me

such a hard time for like,
little things, you know?

We can go ahead and replace her.

But it's late in the season.

How lucky do you feel?

Sometimes the devil you know is
better than the devil you don't.

Next, on "Below Deck"...

Bon soir, bon soir.

They brought
the Eiffel tower to us.

[laughing]

How's it going?

The most stressful thing
in the world, trust me.



She has no room for
error, at all.

All right, it's about to
get hard ----ing core in here.

Are you ready for
an adventure, donkey?

[donkey braying]

Oh yeah.

He's loving that.

Oh yeah, we got it.

I feel like your priorities are
just really in the wrong spot.

Why?

And like--

Why don't you go and
speak to Captain Lee?

And she's a ----ing twat.

You guys are talking about me,
do you want to involve me?

[bleep]