05x07 - The Firm

[bunniefuu]

The great thing about my dad is he loves to help.

The bad thing about my dad is

He loves to help.

He doesn't know when to stop helping.

I guess dad gets carried away with whatever he's doing.

There was that time I was gluing something for school

And I just needed a hand to hold the pieces together.

But once dad got his hands on it,

My real problem was holding him back.

Or how about the time I had to memorize

The graveyard scene fromhamlet?

All I asked dad to

Was read along to help me learn it.

I not only learned the speech,

I learned that dad was the biggest ham

This side of the thames.

But as much as I complain

About my dad going over the top,

I have to admit, I could use his help

On this scholarship form.

But who's gonna help me

Keep him from helping too much?

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♪ Way cool ♪

♪ Na na na na na ♪

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♪ All right, all right ♪

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♪ Way cool ♪

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♪ Just do it ♪♪

The cool thing about the alex william mynderbender scholarship

Is that you can use it to study anything.

Imagine the possibilities.

I've always thought veterinary school might be fun.

Then again, maybe I'd prefer something a little less lively.

Archaeology's something I could really dig.

Aah!

On the other hand, maybe I'll try something

Where the results are more modern, like art school.

O.k., So it's a little abstract.

I'll stick with journalism.

The news is more mytypeof thing.

Hey, sport. Is your mother home?

Yeah, in the kitchen.

Remember the alex william mynderbender scholarship?

That's the scholarship

That put me through college.

I was thinking of applying, too.

The key is the essay.

I had some ideas.

I was wondering if you could help.

I'm not saying take over.

Maybe later.

Usually when I ask for help,

It's such a big deal.

This isn't like you.

I've got big news.

I want the whole family

To hear it at once.

Janet!

It must be big news.

Right here on the local b*at.

O.k., Are you ready?

What is it?

I want everybody to hear.

Hear what?

Come on, dad. Don't t*rture us.

You're not going to believe this.

I have been asked to join the firm

Of dempsy, dempsy, and poteet.

Dempsy, dempsy, and poteet?

Dempsy, dempsy, and poteet.

I like the sound of that.

What is it?

It's that big architecture firm downtown.

That's right.

Marshall, you hate that firm.

Yes, but...

You always say, "those monolithic, generic structures

Are an insidious blight."

I did say that, but--

Did you tell them no?

No. I mean, yes.

I said I absolutely wouldn't work for them

Unless they gave me a secretary

And made me partner.

Wasn't that hasty?

What did they say?

They took me out to lunch

At that members-only place downtown.

I had the steakau poivre

With some delicious potatoesau gratin.

I would have loved to have seen their faces

When you said no.

Well, I sort of said that.

I said they would have to match my income

And come up with a raise and bonuses.

Way to go, dad!

Then what happened?

They matched my income

And came up with a raise and bonuses.

Really?

They said we could take care

Of exact figures tomorrow.

It's just a meeting with dempsy, the old one,

And probably poteet.

Of course, I could still say no.

It just doesn't seem like the kind of place

Where you would be happy.

We could use that raise.

You should see this corner office.

Right on, dad.

Maybe we should talk about this some more.

How is your essay coming?

I don't have an angle on what to write.

I need dad's help on this financial stuff.

That stuff is pretty complicated.

It took me a while.

You did it yourself?

Sure.

Who do you think does the check balancing

For my dad's books?

Wow! I'm impressed.

Dad helped me with the essay.

Hey, guys.

Hi, dad.

Hey, mr. Darling.

Let's work on that application.

I better get going.

I've got to look my application over.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Bye, clarissa.

Bye, sam.

Bye. See you.

Let's see what you got.

I don't know where to start.

Really?

Let's see.

The main thing is just to be yourself.

Let them see who you are.

What did you write about?

I wrote about seeing buildings in a whole new way--

As a life form with minds of their own,

Their own needs, likes, and dislikes.

It was offbeat, but they loved it.

Sounds pretty interesting.

Hey, write about whatever you want.

Great! I can cut loose.

[Telephone rings]

Hello.

Oh, sure. Just a second.

Dad, it's for you.

For me?

Hello?

No, no, it's o.k.

We finished dinner hours ago.

Well, actually, I am busy with my daughter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whoa!

Yeah.

Ha ha!

Boy, you guys,

You don't let up, do you?

A genius? Me?

Oh, thank you.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

I'll still be at the meeting.

I don't know what you can do to change my mind.

No, no. It's o.k.

All right. Bye-bye.

I can't believe

They got this number.

That firm is really after you.

Yeah, I guess so.

O.k., Let's get back

To this scholarship form.

Hey, I've got it.

Maybe I should write what I would do

If I started my own newspaper.

That's great.

They said they would lease me a car.

A car?

Any car I wanted.

You can't be swayed by material goods, dad.

Absolutely not.

About how many pages should this essay be?

Short and sweet, clarissa.

I can't believe they offered me a membership

To the king's bay country club.

Mom hates that place. You hate that place.

Oh, right. Yeah, you're right.

Nice facilities.

So, dad, let's get started

On the financial part.

Sure, sure.

Get this, sport.

They offered me a vacation package--

Three weeks, full pay,

Plus free use of the corporate condo in bermuda.

Bermuda?

Are you changing your mind?

No, not at all.

I should run these thoughts by your mother.

Can we do this later?

I guess. Sure, dad.

The age-old battle between art and commerce.

I wonder who'll win.

Mom, can I ask you something?

Sure, dear.

Are all these offers going to dad's head?

The more they offer,

The more determined he is.

I can't see him going corporate.

They're offering all the frills,

But none of it has to do with architecture.

I've been doing research.

I believe dempsy, dempsy, and poteet

Is the firm for dad.

It all comes down to power, prestige, and perks.

Dad will finally enter the world

Of men in suits.

Well, ferguson, don't count on it.

Hello, everybody.

Dad, you look snazzy.

Thanks, sport.

I just came from my meeting with dd&p.

Oh? Dd&p?

Did they offer you a yacht?

Even better.

They offered me first pick

On all design projects, and hear this--

Complete creative control.

Wow!

Marshall, I thought we agreed

They weren't to be trusted.

Janet, complete creative control!

That's not the only thing they offered.

That much?

Yeah! Can we afford to turn that down?

Well, that's a great offer, but--

You mean, you, uh...

Yes! I said yes!

Yes?

This could be the moment the darling family

Steps into the eighties.

It's the nineties, ferguson.

I know. Don't remind me.

The eighties were so much better.

Marshall, this sounds exciting,

But it's a big change.

Stick with me, baby.

Our ship has come in.

Well, aye-aye, captain.

I'd like to have a word with you.

Oh, clarissa,

I've got insider information

On the mynderbender.

Dempsy is on the selection committee.

I'll get an inside look at what they want.

Great.

But i--

Well, the family may be gaining an executive,

But I'm losing my dad.

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O.k., Time for a darling family incorporated update.

Trademark registered, of course.

Dad is now a proud new member of the corporate world.

Turns out the dress code means

My dad needed a make over.

The dd&p wives are embracing mom

With all the luncheons

And golf tournaments she can stand.

She doesn't know how to golf.

Dad's job in the corporate universe

Has sent ferguson skyrocketing out of control.

He's determined to get his resume

To every executive in dad's building.

As for my scholarship form-- we're going over it tonight.

We were supposed to go over it last night.

So I went ahead and took a s*ab at it.

I hope it's o.k.

Hey, everybody.

Hi, honey.

Hi, dad.

How was the first day?

Just great.

I have an executive office

And an executive parking space

With my name on it

And the executive key to the executive washroom.

Cool.

Very executive.

Dad, sit down, relax,

Put your feet up.

You deserve a break after a hard day's work.

Well, thanks,

But I've been working hard for years.

That was free-lance.

There's work, and then there's work.

I've got resumes ready to go.

I really think I am executive material.

Well, ferguson,

I admire your initiative,

But I don't think I have the time.

You're a little young to enter the work force.

I've got to strike while the iron's hot.

The only thing you'll strike is out.

Everybody, don't make plans for sunday.

Why, marshall?

It's the dd&p annual picnic.

We'll all have to make an appearance.

Do we have to go?

I would appreciate it

If everybody showed their face.

These corporate functions-- it's part of the job.

I'll be there and proud.

I could make my miso and bulgur wheat casserole.

Oh, honey, I love that casserole,

But this is more of a meat and potatoes company.

Remember that country fried chicken

You used to make

Smothered in doughy batter?

I never made that.

I think your mother might have.

Oh, yeah.

Something like that would be perfect.

I'll just bring potato salad.

And, sis, I think for dad's sake,

Dress more conservatively.

Dad, that's a joke, right?

Clarissa, you can wear whatever you want.

Oh, by the way,

I had a little chat with dempsy today,

So let's work on that mynderbender after dinner.

I got a few tips.

Actually, I've already done a draft.

Really?

Oh. I thought you needed my help.

Well, that's o.k.

I figured you were busy,

And with the deadline...

Well, let's look at it.

I have an idea of what dempsy's looking for.

I don't want dempsy's opinion,

I wanted my dad's.

I've got a terrible feeling

They're becoming the same thing.

Whoa!

Well, it's very well-written, sport.

I, uh...i love the passion.

I love the language.

Thanks.

I'm just...

I'm just not so sure about the content.

The content?

It's my ideas for a newspaper.

You said to be myself.

I know,

And I meant that,

But there are many different parts to you, clarissa.

That's why my essay's a variety of ideas.

That's terrific,

But maybe just for this essay,

You might want to tap into...

That more subtle part of yourself.

Subtle?

Are you saying...

You know. Less...uh, neon.

More earth tones.

Earth tones?

Yeah.

Beige, moss, maybe burnt sienna.

You mean dull.

No, I don't mean dull.

I just mean--

After talking to dempsy...see...

Well, he's set in his ways.

The review committee formed its values

In an earlier time.

You mean the jurassic era.

No. It's just that these guys

Are uncomfortable with excess.

Excess? You think my ideas are excessive?

No, no. I don't.

I think they're great,

But I'm not on the mynderbender committee, sport.

How could you work for this dempsy guy?

Your ideas are totally new and different.

Dempsy, dempsy, and poteet is a big corporation

With lots of employees.

I'll find my niche there.

Dempsy won't be around forever.

Aren't you just selling out?

Selling out?

Me? No, no, no.

It's just the opposite.

Working at dd&p means I can put all my energy

On the design element.

I can quit worrying about overhead and sales

And hustling up new clients.

So it's easier?

Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

And once I prove myself,

They'll give me a lot more freedom.

Sport, sometimes you just have to

Play the game a little.

Wow, dad.

You've never said that before.

Well, I just wanted you to know

What you're up against. That's all.

So think about it.

Well, I'm going to get some shut-eye.

I want to get to the office

Before dempsy does--:.

All right. Good night, sport.

Good night, dad.

I can't believe it. The firm has taken him over.

If he keeps bringing that workplace spirit home,

It won't feel like home anymore.

This breakfast has officially begun.

I'd like now vp of finance

To read the minutes from our last breakfast.

Four bowls of plain oatmeal

And four cups of weak tea were consumed.

The vp of human resources

Commented upon the weather.

Thank you.

Very good. Shall we?

Will you pass me a banana?

Excess! Excess! Excess!

What would happen if we all

Used a banana every morning?

Banana times times

At cents per item

Would mean a bump of $.

Do you still want a banana?

No, sir.

We may have rain today.

And, miss darling, about that shirt.

It's a bit flashy, don't you think?

It's a plain white shirt

As dictated by the dress code--

Section , subsection "j."

There's a hint of pink in your buttons.

I move we fire her.

Her behavior is too risky.

You can't fire me. I quit.

Nobody quits the family.

You'll be with us forever.

But I quit! I quit! I quit!

I quit!

Whew!

Maybe my dad needs to think about changing jobs

Before the job changes him and all of us

Beyond recognition.

Sis, I need your opinion on something.

Corned beef or pastrami?

Go wild a little. Have the corned beef.

Thanks. I'll go with the pastrami.

What's with the sandwiches?

I tried to get into dad's building last monday,

But they've got these guards.

Yeah?

Well, they wouldn't let me in.

Why doesn't that surprise me?

It won't happen again

Because I've got the universal ticket

To corporate america.

I know it's not brains, ability, or personality.

It's pastrami.

You can get anywhere you want

If you're delivering a deli sandwich.

And once I'm inside...

There's no stopping me.

That's right.

I won't stop until my resume

Is on every desk in the building.

Well, there goes a man with a plan--

An irritating, obnoxious, dumb plan,

But a plan nonetheless.

Hey, clarissa.

So, did you finish your essay?

My dad thinks it needs some toning down.

That doesn't sound like your dad.

That isn't my dad.

Now that he's working at the firm, he's changed.

Dempsy is on the selection committee.

My dad's been picking his brain.

I guess knowing what dempsy likes

Could work in your favor.

If I'm somebody I'm not.

I'm not changing my essay

To please some corporate dinosaur.

Your dad's becoming a suit.

All he talks about is business.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

He needs to wake up and be himself again.

Did you get in?

My plan worked beautifully.

And the resumes?

I scattered a few around.

I met some charming secretaries.

All I need is more pounds of pastrami.

Aren't you getting carried away?

Oh, that's nothing.

I also need about six loaves of rye bread

And pound of pickles.

Don't tell me. You sold the sandwich.

$..

Do you have any idea how many sandwiches

I could sell in a building that big?

Especially if I expand to include

Some gourmet treats and brownies.

And they wonder what happened

To the entrepreneurial spirit.

My brother, the caterer.

[Door opens]

If I have to have one more cup of tea,

I'll turn into a crumpet.

Being a corporate wife is a full-time job.

Between the children's museum and social activities,

I haven't had time to myself.

Mom, aren't any of the dd&p executives women?

It doesn't seem like it.

That's a good point, clarissa.

We don't really like this firm, do we?

All I know is I've eaten my last tea sandwich.

I'm with you, mom.

Hey, everybody.

Hi, dad.

Marshall, we need to talk.

Honey, are you all right?

I've had better days.

What happened?

Well, it seems that dempsy, dempsy, and poteet

Has been bought by hummerdinger and partners.

They're huge.

I'm on the transition team

To, um... Smooth the merger.

Is that bad?

Well, it means I have to put aside

All my design projects.

Marshall, maybe you'd be happier

Being in business for yourself again.

You might be right, but I can't.

Now I know why dd&p brought me in.

Not because they wanted new ideas.

Dd&p brought me in

To beef up their client list before merging.

They have my clients.

Wow. That's a drag.

Anyone who likes your work

Won't want dempsy, dempsy, poteet, and hummerdinger

Designing for them.

Your clients will follow you.

The firm can't force them to stay.

I don't know what to do.

What's that you got there,

Your mynderbender essay?

No, but it's somebody's.

"The rules of architecture were made to be broken.

"Buildings must be seen not as inanimate objects,

"But as a living, breathing form of life,

"Each with a distinctive personality.

They have feelings, memories, appetites."

Where did you find this?

I dug it out for clarissa.

I wanted to read a former winning essay.

Boy, I sure had some silly,

Unrealistic ideas back then, didn't i?

And I sure do miss them.

What made me think

I'd be happy at that firm?

Does this mean what I hope?

Yeah.

Yeah!

I quit!

Oh, that's great! Congratulations!

I have to cancel

A few engagements with the ladies.

What are you going to do now?

Well, the first thing I'm going to do

Is get out of this strait jacket.

Yeah. It doesn'tsuityou.

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