I used to love the nightlife and hang
out in a bar I used to hit the bottle
but then I hit a
to us
to see me guna strike my
[Music]
[Music]
I gotta go
understand
[Music]
you can do it maybe 69 has always been
my lucky number
all right fork get over you ran a
valiant race Othello fellows phlaser you
didn't happen to glue my cockroaches
legs to the bar did you maybe
accidentally check the Ripper are you
okay
what did you put in his water - gee I
thought it was water I guess it could
have been vodka I'm not paying high
[Music]
how am I gonna splatter me all over my
friend Christina before in my life if I
told you they'd me that I hate you
[Music]
[Music]
isn't this for cleaning scum off the
water bingo
[Music]
the next time that guy comes to collect
leave me the hell out of it collect have
you been gambling again blazer is that
what this is all about gambling is such
an ugly word
it's okay Frannie really I can handle it
no to fight an addiction like this you
need your friends support and you need
to make a real commitment or whole
gambling and cleavage three of my
favorite things
hey five bucks says the one on the Left
wins you're on it will only drag you
down
I know Franny come on sweet sweat go
baby go Oh little droplet blazar Riley
stop it I can't believe you two we're
gonna get some help it you the Haunted
dreams you know gambling has ruined many
a life hmm it's an illness like cancer
rheumatoid fever or feline leukemia the
high is like it oh I used to love and
feta means when I was a kid the low is
like a track well I uh
ooh tranquilizers to the first step
breaks the chain of denial admit you
have a problem like Riley did with his
drinking
oh don't compare me with someone who
gambled his own grandmother away she
only had a couple of years left in her
anyway working in that coal mine was
probably great exercise you have to
regain control of your life now I don't
mean to be an old nag but what you need
to told Meg is running in the fourth
I put some money down it's a sure thing
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
masturbation any questions oh that's
disgusting
later can you show Frannie that
revolving tongue things let's try to
modify your lifestyle with them
wholesome activities you can enjoy with
your friends I know just the thing an
outing in the great outdoors communing
with nature enjoying the sea air the
waves pounding on the shore I hate
nature
it's so fresh now now open your hearts
to mother earth and all her sunny glory
of course under the protection of a
beach umbrella made of lead thanks for
sticking by me Frannie I mean it I got
you a little little something Oh blazer
you didn't have to do this I'm helping
you because I care about my fellow
beings it's a bathing suit well this is
silly
I think the store forgot to put it in no
no it's in there try it on
[Music]
and maybe later now we're here to help
you fresh air exercise and no
temptations why don't you and Wiley take
a walk what he looks up to you talk to
him about his gambling you can help him
if you want to I don't want to I'll try
this son when we get home
Oh blazer what say you and I take a
little stroll I think this will do them
both good they should be back by now
maybe I should find out what they're up
to come on sweetie
drop one I know just where it's gonna
land you do have an uncanny gift for it
I'm so disappointed in you two I'm
leaving oh where are my car keys
um I might have lost the van to one of
these gentlemen a few plops ago
damn seagull couldn't poop straight
Freddie my fault some stupid seagull
couldn't crap to save his life
ten-to-one Lefty's the first to die of
heat exhaustion how I didn't know your
chairs battery on you lasted three hours
without recharging Oh
[Music]
oh yeah I guess I should have mentioned
it earlier
I might have gambled away the house
can't believe you gambled away my house
sure you can it makes perfect sense I'm
a low-life with a gambling addiction
it's totally in character from me is it
in character for me to jail you now
you're far too nice a guy you understand
that I have a problem where are we going
to sleep all my medications are in there
and my air purifier oh you know how my
sinuses flare up oh all Riley's physical
therapy equipment Oh
malaria Tod collection blazer you better
do something about this relax it's all
taken care of thank goodness we're doing
home Grizz is gonna let us stay in the
room over the bar I fixed it up real
nice smell like some big-ass hell with
the Pope to shower no problem laser who
is that guy anyway he looks like a cross
between a male model in a Rottweiler
he's known as the [ __ ]
it's one of the 50 richest men on earth
then why does he care about your
piddling little debts don't you get it
it's not about money
it's the thrill of the game and the buzz
whether it's one dollar or a million boy
no wonder you were such a feeble drunk
you don't know anything about addiction
what he's not here again is he even
scarier I heard what happened you'll
never learn will you apparently not
I'm sorry Franny I screwed up again I'm
a bad head
I shouldn't bail you out I should let
you stew in your own juices hmm but I'll
help you one last time I'll talk with
this mr. thug and explain the situation
I'm sure he's a reasonable man we've
taken into meetings counselors so far no
luck but I think this will teach him a
lesson
now about his debt so many people have
been hurt already and I know you
wouldn't want to take advantage of the
poor man Morty well thank you so much
for hearing me out so should I take that
as a yes so it's a No
[Applause]
I can't sleep up there again
it's smoky dirty oh it smells like stale
beer and there's the ghost of a thousand
farts in that mattress I slept like a
baby
really yeah I cried myself to sleep then
I wet myself got to get our house back
[Applause]
he's favored a hundred to one so if the
scrawny kid won a huge upset the odds
would be astronomical
this should be it let's find out whoops
sorry I thought this was the men's room
we cripples don't see so well that's
okay let's get to work now step to nice
you guys to take me out for a night on
the town we wanted to spend some quality
time together
yeah 23 hours a day we spend cooped up
in the house isn't enough oh this is a
very trendy club we're going to so we
have to dress shorts on a chilly night
like this oh the way kids dress today
there's more what my lord I'll never
understand these crazy fashion this is
one popular place you bar me to Sparling
eat I divert her father
he sure is not one of those gay places
these shorts on the brief they're riding
up so I we're gonna have trouble getting
about oh no your dress perfectly for the
occasion trust me your and there he is
okay you're gambling got us into this
let's see it get us out go make the bet
ooh no problemo we got nothin to wager
oh well bet anything it doesn't matter
because we know we're gonna win I
thought we were gonna lose Fontaine is
going to lose we've bet against him so
we're gonna win just think of something
to make him take the bait tell him he's
gonna win something really classy yeah
okay classy
real cities being here what are you
doing yeah yeah okay can we talk with us
later i want to watch the fight
what a sport it's violent and barbaric
the only good part is that two men
pummel each other senseless the bars run
get little libation it's all over there
a bit you'll have to swing your right
arm hard and then jump you lived this
sure is one strange place you brought me
to you swears not a gay bar I don't get
that drink nice face
enough time oh these gloves on I want
you to leave this place with me right
now
go Fontaine sorry what are you doing
here fried like my new outfit Oh No
Freddy he was supposed to lose so we won
does that mean we lose we don't get the
house back so that's what this is all
about you wanted your house back so much
you are willing to endanger your dear
friend's life yeah that's pretty much it
shame on you what did you bet blazer
Riley said anything he said it didn't
matter well you have to face the music
and pay up it's an important step in
acknowledging your problem
okay oh here he comes to claim his
winning
how could you never been sergeant dr.
gambling away my home was one thing but
gambling away my girlfriend hey don't
blame me you don't need a bet anything
make it classy you said well it's not
like there's a lot of classy things
around here that pet frog so you gamble
away Frannie the one person who was
trying to help you and I dragged my
friends into this pit of despair with me
[Music]
well at least now you're talking sense
but we've got to save her
there's no telling what he's doing to
her right now how dare you
you can't win another person so what are
you going to do now
ravage me abuse me do your worst
oh I get it
the iron fist in the velvet glove but I
cannot be seduced so easily I will not
be swayed by such pathetic attempts this
is a free society
I will must be held against my will in
the name of all women I demand freedom
oh no you won't get rid of me that
easily how much do you know about the
feminist movement I'll bet it's not much
little sister I don't blame them for not
speaking to me I've gambled away our
home and lost the one person who was
trying to save me from myself who by the
way had truly scrumptious melons maybe
the world would be a better place
without me maybe yeah come on guys we're
gonna sit here doing nothing or are we
gonna do something to say Franny from
that cold-hearted 8:00 I sure wish we
could do nothing they do is what we do
best
but it's Franny we have to help let's go
you grab blazer we're gonna need all the
help we can get I hope you're in the
mood cuz I'm going to do something that
will totally satisfy you the collected
writings of the most celebrated feminist
writers of our time if a vag*na could
hold a pen this is what it would write
[Music]
this will make life a lot easier for my
friends goodbye cruel world no wonder
you can't sleep it's too exciting
watching the feminist viewpoint to throw
off the manacles of male oppression yes
that's right manacles and listen to this
a sweareth or I'm going to the loo I
don't know where the hell are you don't
worry he'll turn up we've got more
important things to worry about what's
your plan ah yeah good idea Lefty a plan
you don't have a plan my sinuses look
stupidity got us into this mess
stupidity can get us out the politics of
fertility are another complicated issue
does the medical establishment free
women or by potentially replacing the
womb does it render them redundant and
deprive them it's fun if you want to
leave the door open so you can hear
better okay so here's what we do
Spaulding jumps onto the Bromberg fence
leaps up to their roof rolls down
catches the telephone wires and swings
over to our chimney where he kicks out
the attic window to gain entry into the
house
or he could just climb in that window oh
yeah that's Plan B huh poor Bree Frannie
she's trying to escape
lefty me
[Music]
I can't even commit su1c1de right
[Music]
nothing is so bad
wouldn't be the time
only 50 bucks you are a very good
listener
most men are that attentive when it
comes to post modern feminism now here's
something you'll find fascinating I'll
bet I can grab that if I do I'll give up
gambling forever if I miss well and out
to sea and shark bait anyway and now to
make amends use brute force I'll Ram him
with my chair Spaulding you bite his
ankles lefty go for the stomach
Fontaine you go for the face all right
we're going in
take that you lanky [ __ ]
I'd come for Frannie I've escaped the
jaws of death and turned over a new leaf
whoa this leaf includes showering sorry
alright let's kick him out and reclaim
what's rightfully ours no I don't want
this creep coming back to haunt us I'm
gonna win it all back fair and square
no yeah one last chance for me to make
things right then I'll give up gambling
forever you go for it blazer
name your game what's it gonna be
poker blackjack dice tiddlywinks maybe
next time you won't forget about paying
your piddly wait that's
okay let's do it whoever weights their
tiddly into the bowl first
winner-take-all wow that is one lame
tiddly toss it's almost like trying to
lose okay blazer you're up all right
come on baby it's all up to you look two
down in losing you oh I wasn't his
prisoner
I could have left any time what you made
us go through that whole rescue thing
you needed to see how serious this
problem was so we could treat it
have you learned how dangerous gambling
is I have Frannie and I'm gonna keep
that promise I made I'll give you eight
to five I never gamble again Walter
[Music]
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]