I used to love the nightlife and hang
out in a bar I used to hit the bottle
but then I hit a
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to us
to see me guna strike my
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my shuttle from the store
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I'm Bart you said that five minutes ago
well I was bored down and I'm even more
bored now there's nothing on TV and you
guys are boring
maybe if you had some kind of cultural
interest yeah yeah boring me damn net
clocks boring nothing interesting ever
happens around here
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Oh
Chris's bar great idea oh this is much
better
Hey don't wake that up you want me to
start paying for drinks yeah I'm trying
to get the place clean and being
inspected by the Health Department do
you even know the health regulations I
certainly do
got him right here you got nothing to
worry about
mmm
tangy no offense quiz but this place is
a stinking cesspit yeah great isn't it
but if I don't clean it up the Health
Department will close me down the grime
in the filth is the only thing holding
this place together
Oh next you'll be wantin flushing
toilets that reminds me I need emptying
where Spalding he's lying unconscious
where we left him on the living room
floor typical always thinking of himself
I'll have a beer Thanks might what kind
of like have a cold one to celebrate the
impending arrival of these parents oh
great I'm bursting over here
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beer you hate beer beer drinkin is a
family tradition
I was just trying to get some practice
so I could make my parents feel at home
your parents are coming to visit all the
way from Australia oh you must be really
excited to reconnect with the ones who
suckled you oh I'll never really got on
with them right I've never sent had time
for me
Deb is obsessed with his work so I
decided I wanted to become a physical
therapist just like him
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hey you know the rules no flashbacks
over dinner
sorry Rolly I was never good enough for
Dad he's won awards for physical therapy
he must be really pissed that you're a
screaming nancy-boy
Oh BAM hole I knew there was something I
forgot to tell him like visiting the
airport the sound of a plane all the
visitors from far-off exotic lands the
ritual humiliation of Spaulding why do I
have to come along it's important for
Spaulding so his father can see what a
great job he does caring for you hey I
got to paraplegics in here duper you
lose we got a full house what we gonna
be light daddy's gonna k*ll me
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[Applause]
I love these moving walkways takes a
real load off your feet stop fooling
around you guys the book shops got a
sale on sacré do you have any keys loose
change no mobile phone no
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do I look like a success don't worry
your father will be happy just to see
you you don't know him
he's a big scary man
mom dead it's great to see you don't
just stand there help your mom with a
hand luggage yes dad hello there I'm
Frannie and this is Riley who your son
looks after so well look at your posture
you've got some sort of stress on your
neck Oh God
I suppose I'm gonna have to fix it isn't
it great
he's so much more relaxed now he's on
holiday
who'd like a brownie I preferred Girl
Guides they're better with knots
these are mighty fine
I sweetie you to bring us brownies all
the way from Australia oh now I thank
them on the plane dad I think I now a
bit more about this city than someone
who's only been here for ten minutes
okay if you wanna get caught up in that
bottleneck that's just fine fine this
would happen son I'll show you to your
room
haven't you forgotten something I'll
show you to your room and pull them
please it must be time for Annie to
having fed changed why don't you show me
how you do it huh okay I suppose if it's
all right by you Riley sure why not take
some photos if you want stick it on the
neck it's not like I got any pride left
he's house he's a filthy disgusting mess
I'm sorry the guys aren't housebroken or
toilet trained it's fantastic
I was worried I wouldn't have anything
to do on this whole time here's a tip
dear always get some before footage so
you can enjoy the cleaning process for
months to come and then take the
catheter it's easier on the patient if
you slide it in slowly that just
prolongs the discomfort it's gotta be
quick forget it
the moments gone did you meet
Spaulding's daddy sure did
the man's got one hell of a handshake Oh
Grizz you got everything sorted out and
all the health standards oh that oh no
no no I was hoping you guys it'd give me
a hand
sure count me in sorry I have to wash my
hair if we don't help this place will be
closed down all right how hard can it be
well
I need a drink
hope you're getting all this love you've
got to help me
I've been bathing him for years oh it's
about time we fixed up what you're doing
wrong mom Oh like a pilot
you two need to talk her lips are
flapping and sounds coming out what do
you call that
no really talk and not about work or me
I'm off you to sort things out okay
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have you ridden here no seen any no
getting lots of sex I suppose I should
tell you I had six wheels how's it going
Freni you are an item
oh yeah baby wear it at night and I
hammer and tongs what we're always
playing feed the otter I don't think you
mean otter you're serious blood eyes
dead
let's go Freddie I've got a hankering
for some spanking spanker
Spaulding we're gonna lie for you I'll
cry I'll hold my breath until I turn
pink
I'll shave Riley everywhere oh right
what do you want me to do
yeah like a squirrel a squirrel Riley
really likes it oh it's a long story
maybe we should finish now but but we've
only been going for two minutes have we
are there gonna be suspicious two
minutes as far too long oh you poor poor
girl you mean it can be longer weren't
we doing something yeah we was drinking
hey guys this place is a pigsty we're
doing something about that we're getting
so drunk and clean the glass is Grist
nothing to clean him with what about
that dishwasher oh my gosh it was a
novelty drinking device refreshing how's
the thing with you know that guy in the
other guy Spaulding in his dad awful
family problems whoa
they're like communicating pretty soon
people are gonna be expressing their
emotions I hate that
Oh Riley you're such an insensitive
swine I love you man
I love you too and I love you Grizz I'd
do anything for a pal like you man me
too man man right so y'all gonna help me
clean up then is that the time I seem to
remember there's a five-hour documentary
on agrarian land reform in Finland
during the Depression oh I've got to see
that those aquariums see you Grizz what
do you mean more than two minutes
apparently it's possible huh
I suppose I can always think back to
what the nuns taught me at school and
what was that I can't remember but
thinking about the nuns is sure gonna
stop me from jumping the g*n clean is
log 20th of the i'ts notice how the
urine stains on the wall of completely
gone now as we move into the second
bedroom come on son
you can't stay here any longer with
these people
but Dad your father's right dear your
girlfriend's a [ __ ] Spaulding you have
to tell your parents the truth
yes it's true Freddie's been having an
affair with my boss I knew it
let's go why didn't you say anything
Shh I'm still thinking about the nuns
one day look sweet deluxe yeah the
cockroaches get changed daily and would
you like breakfast oh yeah there's a
pizza shop next door noise video camera
are they hard to use that's easy
see you I can zoom in on that de dret
this is cozy I don't mind bunking down
camp style if you don't what oh yeah
sure
anyway it's time for bed we can talk
about finding you a new job in the
morning
rise and shine building time to get that
new job oh my god
drive it better
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sorry should have warmed up my don't
make it sound there'll be plenty of time
for that later
come on Fontaine you work out where are
the raisins
it's got no raisins it's got self
tanners they're completely different
Spalding knew that
oh so you're missing Spalding are you
maybe come on we're going to buy raisins
no you're going to get this mess sorted
out that's right
whip-it George bring on
[Applause]
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what are you doing out here just
watching my life see that broken potato
crisp that's my shattered hopes and
dreams
probably chicken flavored just like you
Spaulding you're a coward
what choice have I got you could face up
to your parents and tell them the truth
the truth that I've filed as a physical
therapist that's rubbish
is it Riley's got something to say oh
yeah yes ah I need you Spaulding you're
the best
oh thank you thank you thank you no
kissing no kissing let's go home aren't
you forgetting something
let's go home please what are you going
to do about your parents not speak to
them for the rest of my life no guy I've
always been gay and I'm proud of it I
know it might be difficult to accept but
I'm still love you why are you wearing a
trace I always wear dresses all these
faster batch of the him guy as if we
didn't know I mean look at ya so you're
okay with me being gay well yes sir I
reckon if your guy to me die you could
do it so much better
how about hang on why didn't you say
anything when I pretended to have a
girlfriend
Frannie's a girl all right then we've
got the tape what are you gonna do now
I wouldn't mind boggling you what too
short the next VIP and dip night at S&M
Club oh they love it I could even put it
on my website I thought you looked
familiar
let's get on with the inspection all
right
it probably looks like real crime and
real film but I've got a chief decorator
it looks perfect to me what there's
ability hell I won't be seeing you for
another five years unless of course you
want to come to one of our parties
cheaper half price no no no that'll be
fine
could I grease I hope you got all this
on video this took me half the night you
did this macwrite is challenged some of
the science it stains let me adjust your
bill clean rooms are ten bucks more both
bars we should get you to the airport
we've got time for one celebratory drink
well what is it that you're celebrating
honesty give us three beers
ah actually make that two beers and a
fluffy duck you and your son have just
worked things out why are you leaving
it's one thing accepting your son's
lifestyle it doesn't mean you won't have
your face rubbed in at every day we've
all made our choices
haven't we love yes it's a hard thing
for a father to say
but Spaulding's done me proud I've
realized he doesn't need me to tell me
what to do anymore
Oh dad
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