01x17 - Yertle The King

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ ♪ Skiddly ahh bop bow,

Get upple on a wubble,

Buzz into a bubble,

Wubble on the double,

And take your face,

To a wubbulous place,

Scuttle on a shuttle,

Waddle in a puddle ♪

♪♪ Ow!

♪♪ ♪ Through the middle

Of a muddle,

And dance your feet down

To wubbulous street,

Flip, float, flop, and drop,

Bottoms up down to the top,

Insides, outsides,

Here and on,

When you get to the end,

You go on and on ♪

♪♪ Ooh!

♪♪ Yeah!

♪♪ Ha ha ha ha ha!

♪♪ Ew!

♪♪ ♪ Scuttle on a shuttle,

Waddle in a puddle,

Through the middle

Of a muddle,

And dance your feet down

To wubbulous street ♪

♪♪ Hello.

♪♪ ♪ Get upple on a wubble,

Buzz into a bubble ♪

♪♪ Yeah!

♪♪ Tighten up, get loose.

♪♪ ♪ In the wubbulous world,

In the wubbulous world,

Of dr. Seuss ♪

♪♪ Yeah.

♪♪ Hey there, big fella.

♪♪ What do you know?

♪♪ And what do you say?

♪♪ I say good-bye,

I'm going away.

♪♪ Going away?!

♪♪ Oh, just for the day.

Look, even a cat in the hat

Needs a little rest

And relaxation now and then,

Hmm?

♪♪ But what about us?

♪♪ Oh, look, have fun, be happy,

And don't touch anything that

Doesn't belong to you. Ta-ta.

♪♪ Hmm.

Ahh, have fun.

♪♪ Be happy.

♪♪ Don't touch anything.

[Gasps] hey, look at that!

♪♪ [Gasps]

♪♪ Whoa!

♪♪ A drum!

♪♪ A lute!

♪♪ And something to toot!

♪♪ Let's play 'em.

♪♪ Now, that really would be

A hoot!

♪♪ No, no, no, you heard what

The cat said! Do not touch

Anything that does not belong

To you.

♪♪ Yeah, that's right. Ahh.

Yeah.

[Laughing]

♪♪ What do we play?

♪♪ Oh, whoo!

"The ballad of yertle the king"!

How about that?

♪♪ That sounds good!

♪♪ Uh-huh. And a and a

And a...

[Music playing]

♪♪ ♪ We sing you a story

Of yertle the turtle,

A story of yertle the turtle

We sing,

His greatest desire was

Land to acquire,

For yertle the turtle wanted

To be king ♪

♪♪ Of anything!

♪♪ Of anything?

♪♪ Anything. I mean, this guy

Is desperate!

♪♪ You fools! You don't know

What you're missing.

You're missing me being your

King. Do you hear me? I want

To be your king!

[Crying] I'm not crying.

Not crying!

♪♪ Yertle the turtle?

♪♪ Tallulah! Don't ever sneak

Up on a turtle like that!

♪♪ Yertle, I have a message

From your aunt myrtle.

♪♪ My aunt myrtle, the queen?

♪♪ Mm-hmm.

♪♪ That rich, selfish windbag

Of a woman who never invites me

To her palace?

♪♪ Yes. You're invited

To her palace.

♪♪ That--that kind, generous

Sweetie of a lady, she wants

To see me in her palace?

♪♪ Mm-hmm.

♪♪ What do you think of that,

♪♪ What do you think of that, you flapping floaties? Hmm!

You flapping floaties? Hmm!

♪♪ ♪ We sing you a story

Of yertle the turtle,

A turtle named yertle's

The turtle we mean,

He was asked to come visit

With his aunt myrtle,

Not just any aunt myrtle,

♪♪ It's myrtle the queen ♪

♪♪ Turtle, turtle, turtle

Turtle, turtle, ommmmm.

Turtle, turtle, turtle, turtle,

Ommmmmm.

Turtle, turtle, turtle, turtle,

Ommmmmm.

♪♪ You think this dump has

Enough stairs?

Oh, my queenly aunt,

My auntie queen, oh, queen aunt!

Oh, that's not right.

♪♪ Yertle, my nephew.

♪♪ Oh, your admiring, adoring

Nephew.

♪♪ Yertle?

♪♪ Hmm?

♪♪ I'm going to chelonia,

The tortoise mecca, for a while,

And I am placing my kingdom

In your hands.

♪♪ My hands? Your kingdom

In my hands?

♪♪ You shall have the use

Of my royal army.

♪♪ Oh-ho, yes, yes, yes,

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

♪♪ Charge!

[All grunting]

♪♪ You call this an army?

♪♪ Well, we haven't had much

Use for them lately, so they've

Gotten a little rusty. At ease.

[All groaning]

♪♪ Now, yertle, you must not

Touch anything that does belong

To you.

♪♪ No touching.

♪♪ Be happy with what you have,

Yertle. If you are happy with

What you have, then what you

Have will make you happy.

♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, have,

Happy, have, happy, happy,

Happy, whatever.

♪♪ Ta-ta!

♪♪ She gone?

♪♪ Unfortunately.

♪♪ Touch, touch, touch,

Ooh, I'm a touchy king.

Monarch of all I touch!

King, king, king!

Tallulah!

♪♪ Mm, yes, your new majesty?

♪♪ Show your king his kingdom.

♪♪ Yes, your shellness.

Just look through the royal

Telescope.

♪♪ [Gasps] the royal telescope?

For my royal eyes to see!

♪♪ Your royal eyes.

♪♪ Look at all this land!

Land as far as the eye can see.

And it's all mine. Mine, mine,

Mine, mine, mine.

♪♪ Not exactly.

♪♪ What do you mean--ohh!

What do you mean it's--oh!

Not mine? [Groans]

♪♪ I mean, all the land

Isn't yours.

♪♪ [Gasps] don't ever use those

Particular words in that

Particular order ever again!

♪♪ Myrtle's land ends at

The edge of the jungle yonder.

♪♪ Hmm. Yon jungle yonder, yea?

♪♪ It's the jungle of nool.

♪♪ Where that horton the

Elephant lives? That jungle of

Nool?

♪♪ Mm-hmm.

♪♪ Hmm. I want that land. I want

It all. All! Heh heh heh.

♪♪ Didn't myrtle say be happy

With what you have?

♪♪ I just want to be happier.

Heh heh heh. And I know just how

To deal with that do-gooding

Elephant.

♪♪ Yeah, but--

♪♪ Oh, royal turtle-takers!

♪♪ Vroom!

[Fanfare]

♪♪ [Screeches]

♪♪ Take your royal turtle. We're

After more land.

♪♪ [Gasps]

♪♪ Peel out.

[All grunting]

[Clatter]

♪♪ There you go. Bouncy, bouncy.

♪♪ Whee! Whee!

♪♪ Oopsie daisy.

♪♪ Horton, thank you for making

The jungle...

♪♪ A safe place for sneels.

♪♪ We're such sensitive

Creatures.

♪♪ Allergic...

♪♪ To so many things.

♪♪ Well, it wasn't easy getting

Rid of all the things that make

You itch and cough.

♪♪ And puff up our eyes.

♪♪ And swell us up to times

Our size.

♪♪ But you did it. So, thank

You.

♪♪ Thank you.

♪♪ Well, I promised to make

The jungle of nool comfortable

For all the creatures, and I'm

Keeping that promise.

[Fanfare]

♪♪ Ahh!

♪♪ Vroom!

[All screaming]

♪♪ What in the world? Oh, oh!

You better go now.

♪♪ Ok.

♪♪ We better.

♪♪ Let's go.

♪♪ Vroom!

♪♪ [Screeches]

♪♪ Ow! Ow!

♪♪ Ha ha!

♪♪ Delinquents.

♪♪ Vroom!

[Fanfare]

♪♪ Yertle?

♪♪ Ahh, horty. Can I call you

Horty?

♪♪ No.

♪♪ Horty, you love it here in

The jungle of nool, don't you?

♪♪ It's my home. And home to all

Creatures who call it home.

♪♪ It's nice, isn't it?

♪♪ Uh, comfortable, yeah. For

All.

♪♪ Really?

[All chattering]

♪♪ Ooh, what's that? What is it?

♪♪ What is it, you say?

A horrible thing

Has just come your way!

Head for the hills,

Hold on to your britches!

You've been invaded by

Itch-pitching snitches!

♪♪ Itch-pitching snitches?

Oh, no!

♪♪ Yes, it's true,

The itches they pitch

Can drive you cuckoo.

♪♪ Cuckoo?

♪♪ Oh! The itch-pitching

Snitches!

♪♪ These are worse?

♪♪ Oh!

♪♪ Horty, hort, let me help

You.

♪♪ Help? But how?

♪♪ Simple. Just sign your jungle

Over to me, proclaim me your

King, and I'll get rid of this

Dreaded snitch infestation for

You.

♪♪ Aah! Sign it, please!

♪♪ Oh, my. Yes, I'll sign.

♪♪ Mmm!

♪♪ You're doing the right thing.

♪♪ [Whistles] sheldon!

Mind the bag.

Good snitch. Now, stay.

♪♪ Mm-hmm.

♪♪ Ooh. Just look at it,

Tallulah! Everything I see is

Mine. Mine, mine, mine!

Ooh, isn't it glorious?

♪♪ Breathtaking, your slowness.

♪♪ My turn again.

♪♪ Oh? Oh.

♪♪ Ooh. Now I am truly monarch

Of all i--[gasps] wait a minute.

What's that over there?

♪♪ That's the river, the river

Of blish, home of norval.

♪♪ Norval the fish?

♪♪ Mm.

♪♪ Oh, what a beautiful river.

And it's mine.

It is mine, isn't it?

♪♪ Actually, no, your

Transparency.

♪♪ Nnnn...

Oh, royal king carriers!

♪♪ Ha ha ha ha!

Icebergs? Nonsense!

♪♪ Really?

♪♪ [Grunting]

♪♪ Though, now that you mention

It, it is getting a bit--

♪♪ Chilly?

♪♪ Yes. [Teeth chattering] ohh!

♪♪ Careful!

♪♪ Great woolen long johns!

This river's colder than a polar

Bear's nose!

♪♪ Mm-hmm.

♪♪ We ag-g-gree! Brrr!

♪♪ Norv, I hate seeing you and

Your slippery friends suffer.

Let me help.

♪♪ How?

♪♪ Oh, horton!

My royal subject horton sits

In the river and blocks the ice

Floes, warming the water to an

Elephantine level of comfort

And you and your buddies stop

Turning into frozen fish sticks.

♪♪ That's very thoughtful of

You.

♪♪ Oh! One more thought.

In exchange for my ice-melting

Help, you have to sign over the

River to me and proclaim me your

King.

♪♪ You?

♪♪ One fish, two fish,

Dead fish, blue fish.

♪♪ I'm highly suspicious of the

Situation, but seeing as how I'm

Losing feeling in my dorsal fin,

It's a deal.

It's a deal. ♪♪ [Chattering]

♪♪ [Chattering]

♪♪ Horty! Do your thing.

♪♪ Oh. Brrr! Ooh. Aah.

♪♪ [Grunting]

♪♪ Aroo!

♪♪ See ya around, subjects.

[Hooting and shouting]

♪♪ As I was saying, isn't it

Glorious, tallulah?

♪♪ Glorious, your turtletude.

♪♪ Yes, sir, monarch of all i--

Ooh! A theater.

I've always wanted a theater,

And now, now I have one.

Don't i?

Don't i? ♪♪ Here we go again.

♪♪ Here we go again.

♪♪ You mean, if we sign this

Deed...

♪♪ And proclaim you our king...

♪♪ We can have our orchestra

Back?

♪♪ And all of our ushers?

♪♪ And our audience?

♪♪ And full use of the rubber

Chicken?

♪♪ That's right, show folk.

They all work for me now.

♪♪ Well, the show must go on.

♪♪ Let me sign this thing.

[Mumbling]

♪♪ Yertle's fox and knox

Theater. I like it.

[Both groan]

♪♪ Yes, yes! This is the life!

A little higher, elephant.

♪♪ Yes, sire.

♪♪ Flap that fan faster, fish.

You wouldn't want your king to

Get hot, would you?

♪♪ No, sire.

♪♪ Jesters! Make me laugh.

♪♪ ♪ Da da da dum dum dum,

I'm mr... ♪

Never mind.

♪♪ I'm depressed.

♪♪ Tell me about it.

♪♪ Ha ha ha! They're funny.

Tallulah! Did you bring my map?

♪♪ Yes, your shallowness.

♪♪ Ahh! Ooh, gimme, gimme,

Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Subjects, your whole world is

About to change.

Starting tomorrow, we'll be

Ripping up the jungle of nool to

Make way for a new vacation

Paradise for me.

♪♪ Oh, no!

♪♪ Then, the river of blish will

Be turned into an all-weather

Indoor mud puddle fit for a

Turtle king.

♪♪ You can't do that.

♪♪ Can't? Ha ha ha! I can do

Whatever I want. I'm the king!

This land is mine, do you hear?

All mine! I own it. [Kiss]

Every last sweet inch of it.

Every last sweet inch of it. [Kiss] it's all mine. I--

[Kiss] it's all mine. I--

What's this?

♪♪ I was hoping you wouldn't

Notice.

♪♪ Don't tell me!

♪♪ It's a tiny spot of land that

You don't own.

♪♪ Waah! Then who does own it?

♪♪ Well, um...

♪♪ [Takes deep breath]

Ahh. Nature.

[Screech, all gasp]

♪♪ Hello.

♪♪ Hi. Can I help you?

♪♪ Aah!

♪♪ Cat, let's make this fast.

Sign over your land

Or you won't last!

♪♪ Excuse me?

♪♪ Give me your land

Without any hitches,

Or I'll unleash

The itch-pitching snitches.

♪♪ [Buzzing]

♪♪ Unleash away,

It's more than all right,

I'm quite immune

To the itch-pitcher's bite.

♪♪ Uh--uh--all right, then,

I tried to play nice,

Now give me your land

Or your well becomes ice.

♪♪ Do what you must,

Use all of your leverage,

On a warm day like this,

I'd love a cold beverage.

♪♪ Oh. Um, hmm. Well, why don't

You just leave and I'll take

Over your land and we'll call

It square, ok?

♪♪ A generous offer, but I have

To say no.

♪♪ But--but this is such a small

And meaningless piece of land.

Surely you wouldn't mind

Parting with it.

♪♪ Sorry.

♪♪ I want it!

♪♪ You can't have it.

♪♪ I want it, I want it,

I want it.

♪♪ You can't have it.

♪♪ I must have your land. I will

Have your land. Cat--

♪♪ Yes?

♪♪ This means w*r.

♪♪ This means w*r. [Evil laugh]

[Evil laugh]

♪♪ ♪ We sing you a story

Of yertle the turtle,

A story of yertle the turtle

We sing,

Yertle's aunt myrtle

Warned yertle the turtle,

But he didn't listen,

♪♪ He changed everything ♪

♪♪ Ahem.

[All gasp]

Whoops.

♪♪ Well, looks like yertle

Wasn't the only one who touched

Something that didn't belong

To him.

♪♪ I guess you mean the

Instruments and the book, huh?

♪♪ Yep. You've sung me up a

Whole bunch of turtle trouble,

Guys.

♪♪ We're sorry!

♪♪ Hey! We could untell the

Story.

♪♪ Yeah, we could sing him away!

♪♪ ♪ This is the story of yertle

The turtle,

A turtle who wanted to rule

Everything,

He suddenly decided to give up

The land he took, and then he

Went home and took... ♪

♪♪ A nap!

♪♪ Yeah.

♪♪ Or something.

♪♪ Yeah. Something...

♪♪ Charrrge!

♪♪ Well, that sure didn't work,

Did it?

[All gulp]

♪♪ Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Ow!

♪♪ Oh!

♪♪ Oh! See ya!

♪♪ Oh!

♪♪ Well, so much for my day of

Rest and relaxation.

♪♪ Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

We passed it! Turn around,

Turn around!

Re-charge!

♪♪ Oh, no!

♪♪ No, no! Lookit, fellas, you

Missed again!

[Hooting and shouting]

♪♪ Hold it! Hold it!

[Panting]

Well, that didn't work.

We'll have to sneak up on him.

♪♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh!

♪♪ [Chuckling]

♪♪ On . Ready? , , !

♪♪ Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Wait a minute! Where'd he go?

♪♪ Boo!

♪♪ Aah! Ooh hoo hoo hoo!

[Splash]

[Clatter]

♪♪ This won't work!

Everybody, back to the castle!

♪♪ Huh?

♪♪ Oh! Aah! Ooh ooh ooh ooh!

[Splash]

♪♪ I have to have that land. I

Have to! It must have a price.

Everything has a price. All I

Have to do is find that price

And then the land will be mine.

Mine. Yes, all mine! Mine!

Yes. Mine!

All right, cat, all of this

Money for your little piece of

Land. Whoa! Ow!

♪♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh!

♪♪ Ow. Ow. So, is it a deal?

♪♪ Ow. Ow. So, is it a deal? ♪♪ Mm...nah.

♪♪ Mm...nah.

♪♪ Maybe the sun is in your

Eyes. You're looking at the

Biggest pile of gold and silver

And baubles and gold and gems

And baubles and gold and gold

Anyone's ever seen before. Whoo.

♪♪ I just want to finish reading

My book.

♪♪ I must have this land. Ok,

All right, all right. You drive

A hard bargain. Take all this

Stuff and I'll throw in a

Reading lamp.

♪♪ Ooh!

♪♪ Mm...got one.

♪♪ Bah! Ah...he's got a lamp

Already. That's why I can't have

His land. He won't trade for

Gold or baubles or even a lamp.

There must be something he'll

Trade for--aah! Then what do you

Want? I've tried everything.

[Panting] I can't stand it

Anymore. Take it all. Take the

Whole kingdom!

♪♪ Everything?

♪♪ Everything. Just give me your

Land. Please!

♪♪ Oh.

Well, if you really want it that

Much...

♪♪ [Crying]

♪♪ Ok.

♪♪ You mean it? I can really

Have it?

♪♪ Just sign on the dotted line.

♪♪ Heh heh heh heh heh!

At last! It's mine, it's all

Mine! The most valuable piece of

Land in the world, and it's all

Mine.

♪♪ Congratulations. Enjoy.

Ta-ta. [Humming]

♪♪ I've got it all. All, do you

Hear me? All! Ooh. Mmm.

This tree, and--and that rock,

And--and--and this grass, it's

Mine, they're all mine!

All...mine.

This tree and that rock and this

Grass and...and that well!

Maybe there's something valuable

In the well!

♪♪ Ooh. Ooh. Ooh ooh ooh.

♪♪ Or not.

♪♪ Aah!

♪♪ Tree, rock, grass--book?

Ah! The book! Ha ha ha ha ha!

"How to trick a turtle," by cat

In the hat. Heh heh heh heh.

Ooh...oohh...nooooo!

[Music playing]

♪♪ Ahem! Hear ye, hear ye,

I hereby return all monies and

Lands to their...rightful

Owners. Huh?

[All cheering]

♪♪ Couldn't I have just a little

Bit more?

♪♪ Now, haven't you learned

Anything? The only thing that

Will make you happy is what you

Don't have. Well, then you'll

Never be happy.

♪♪ Hmm? How much for the hat?

♪♪ No...ha ha!

♪ What good is having a kingdom

And a golden throne,

If the only things you want

Seem to be the things...

♪♪ The things that you don't

Own,

♪♪ You can have all you need

And still not be satisfied,

Ha ha!

'Cause you're always gonna find

A fence

With something you want

On the other side,

♪♪ But the grass ain't always

Greener on the other side

Of the fence,

♪♪ When you put a fence

Between ya,

You'll lose your common sense,

♪♪ And the sky looks bluer...

♪♪ The food looks better...

♪♪ You can even swear the water

Looks wetter...

♪♪ And the grass ain't always

Greener on the other side

Of the fence ♪

♪♪ [Sobbing]

♪♪ ♪ The grass ain't always

Greener

On the other side of the fence,

♪♪ When you put a fence

Between ya,

You'll lose your common sense,

♪♪ And the sky looks bluer...

♪♪ The food looks better...

♪♪ You can even swear the water

Looks wetter...

♪♪ The grass ain't always

Greener

On the other side of the fence ♪

♪♪ [Sobbing]

♪♪ ♪ The grass ain't always

Greener

On the other side of the fence,

Yeah! ♪

♪♪ [Sobbing]

♪♪ Oh, nephew! I'm back!

[Yertle wailing]

♪♪ What's with him?

♪♪ [Sighs] it's a long story.

♪♪ Hmm.

♪♪ ♪ And such is the ballad

Of greedy king yerkle ♪

♪♪ [Sobbing]

♪♪ ♪ King yertle the first,

The worst and the meanest,

He's got time to think now,

So maybe he's thinking...

♪♪ The grass that you have

Just might be the greenest ♪

Just might be the greenest ♪ [blows] ha ha ha.

[Blows] ha ha ha.