03x17 - Operation Valentine

[bunniefuu]

This is me-- Eliza Thornberry

part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom...

and a sister.

There is Donnie-- we found him.

and Darwin-- he found us.

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves

'cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts his nature show

and my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

And between you and me, something amazing happened.

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool...

but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

(screeching )

(jabbering )

(screeching )

(gasping )

I say, Marianne, this has got to be

one of the most scenic breakdowns we've ever experienced.

Oh, I can't argue with that.

What time is the mechanic due here tomorrow?

Well, he promised to do his best

to get here when he feels like it.

(laughing )

See? We can climb up there

and look at the great dingo fence.

It separates the dingoes from defenseless animals.

Won't that be fun?

Possibly, depending

on which side of the fence we're on.

Marianne, don't panic, but...

But the commvee's on fire.

(gasping ): But Debbie's inside.

(jabbering )

(coughing ): Oh, Debbie, are you all right?

What? Is something wrong?

Nigel: Funny. No!

(jabbering )

Oh! Jungle boy got gunk all over my favorite jeans.

Everybody outside.

Okay, you little freak (jabbering )

what's up with squirting us with that thing?

Now, Debbie, he was trying to help.

Our fire drills must have made an impression.

Excuse me.

There wasno fire.

I just slightly overcooked these cookies.

I'll say.

What are these anyhow? Cows?

Eliza, be nice.

They're obviously wombats.

Aren't they, Deborah?

Are you guys blind?

I'll show you.

Perfect. Cookies in the shape of Australia.

They're hearts, you geography dweeb.

I made them for Sven for Valentine's Day.

Oh, Debbie, is this long-distance relationship

possibly in bloom?

Oh! Mom, he's just my email pal.

We're finally going to meet tonight.

And this is how you're going to impress him?

Now, Eliza, that's not very supportive

of your sister's efforts.

Yah.

You haven't even tried one.

Hmm, uh. Oh.

(gulping )

Oh, he's here.

This just made my day.

Eliza? Debbie?

Mail.

A valentine from Sven.

Listen to this.

He can't wait to see me later.

And he's made a special gift for me.

(sniffing )

Eww! Yuck!

I'd better cook another batch.

Yeah, it's too late to take up knitting.

Hey, I don't need your snide, little remarks.

Sorry. I just thought you wanted to make a good impression.

What would you know about impressing a guy?

I got a valentine, too, you know.

And it's from a secret admirer.

Gee, and I never knew buffalo could write.

Very funny. There's lots of guys who could have sent this

like Ben or Miguel or Dieter.

It's probably from Grandma Sophie.

It is not.

(laughing ): How much you want to bet?

Ooh!

Darwin and I are going rock-climbing.

Excellent idea.

Just be sure to take your water and provisions.

Ow!

What is it, Poppet?

I'm okay, Dad. Probably something I ate.

Debbie: I heard that!

Why don't you go climb on a rock and stay there?

Too bad your cooking is not as good as your hearing.

See you, Dad.

Sometimes I think it would be far easier

to raise crocodiles.

Ooh!

That's the fifth time you've made that face.

Are you okay?

Fine. It's just a stomachache.

Is this because you ate one of your sister's cookies?

I don't know.

How do you feel?

Fine, but I didn't eat any.

I've never seen you turn down food.

And you never will.

I simply stalled it in my emergency famine kit.

See? It's here along with the waffle I snuck off Debbie's plate

and a lovely corn dog.

Hmm.

Well, along with the waffle anyway.

(gasping )

Here. This will hold you up.

It's nice and hard, like your sister's cookies.

Honey, I'm working on a surprise for your father.

Can you help me out back in a couple of minutes?

Okay.

(gasping ) Oh!

Maybe you could make Sven a nice card.

Oh! I guess.

For some reason, I'm really nervous about meeting him.

Hmm, I see.

So maybe someoneis falling for someone?

Maybe.

(gagging )

Oh, this is so exciting.

I remember my

first serious boyfriend.

Oh, I was just about your age.

(murmuring )

Oh, look. There's a glowworm-filled tunnel

in the distant horizon.

Hey, Dad, how old were you when you first fell in love?

Oh, uh, funny you should ask, Deborah.

I was just on my way out to log the rock-footed yellow wallaby.

I mean, track the yellow rock-footed wallaby.

I mean, um...

I-I'm... I'm tracking wallabies.

I'll, uh, I'll see you both later.

Dad, you didn't exactly answer my question.

Sorry, Poppet, but the wallabies await.

No time for discussions of love. Ta-ta!

(murmuring )

Ta-ta!

What was that about?

Hi, there. We won't hurt you.

Please come out.

You're not going to try to make shampoo out of us, are you?

What? We would never do something like that.

I promise.

(sniffing )

They're okay.

Their hair doesn't smell like emu.

But they do smell, especially that hairy one.

Hey, I'll have you know I'm exceptionally clean.

Now, now.

Let's all go for a swim.

You guys go in.

My stomach still hurts.

(jabbering gleefully )

(screeching ) (laughing )

Hey! Watch out!

(screeching )

Ahh... Oh...

You're lucky he's gone.

When that eagle's really hungry

he eats wallabies, hares, kangaroos

and emu chicks.

We're going back.

We almost lost our chicks to him once already.

Wait. Can you tell me which way to the dingo fence?

Go that way, behind the rocks.

The eagle will have a harder time spotting you.

Be careful.

Eliza, I think we should head back.

You not feeling well, and all.

It's weird, but the pain's gone now.

Maybe because now we have a big eagle to worry about.

Really, I feel back to normal.

Come on. Let's go climb up there and take a look.

(chattering )

(panting ): Wait. Be right there, guys.

Eliza, I see the dingo fence.

And, oh, good. We're on the right side of it.

Eliza! Ow!

Darwin, help! I'm falling!

Eliza!

Hurry.

Grab!

Eliza, I've got you.

Can you pull yourself up?

On three... one, six, three.

Darn! Something's really wrong with me.

My stomach's never hurt this much before.

We need to get back to camp.

I can't move.

What's wrong with me?

I'll carry you.

Ohh!

Stop! It hurts!

Oh... oh...

Eliza, would you care

for one of these nice cookies Debbie made?

Ohh!

Yeah, right. You're not that desperate yet.

(jabbering )

Donnie, get back here!

The eagle's out there.

You have to go get him.

I don't want to leave you here alone.

Darwin, please go.

Oh, all right.

But then I'm going to camp

and getting your parents.

Please bring them back fast.

Don't I get to at least know

what it is we're assembling?

I told you.

It's your father's Valentine's Day gift.

It'll help him track animals easier.

Drill, please.

How long have you been working on this?

Seven weeks, four days, and ½ hours.

Oh, lovely.

This arrived in pieces.

Sometimes I sneak out at night when you're all sleeping

and tighten a few bolts

drill a little here and there.

Wow! And I thought baking cookies was a big deal.

You never know what you'll do for love, Debbie.

Oh! I couldn't find Donnie.

Oh! Oh, Eliza.

How are you feeling?

Oh! Ohh! It's here on my right!

Here. Lean on me.

We have to get down from here.

I hope Donnie's okay.

Let's worry about you right now.

Donnie can take care of himself.

Why, I bet he's playing with Tasmanian devils right now.

Yeah, you're right.

He's probably having the time of his life.

(screaming )

(screeching )

Wha...?

(screeching )

(jabbering )

My good fortune has me not three meters

from the yellow-footed rock wallaby.

A moment seldom shared by men, I might add.

This cute little macropodid is chewing...

(yells )

Donnie, that was very intrusive.

What did you gain by doing that, may I ask?

(jabbering )

Now you want to play games.

Oh, I do like a bit of the old charades now and again.

(jabbering )

Uh... wings? Flying?

Got it.

The mail plane arrived.

My dear boy, this is Nigel Thornberry

you're playing with.

I daresay, challenge me.

(jabbering )

(chattering )

Angry pilot in mail plane.

Um... he failed to deliver something

and was forced to return?

I'm afraid you need

a little work with this, mate.

Thank heaven it's only a game

and no one's in danger.

(groaning )

Oh, heavens! Are you hurt?

Is that what you're trying to tell me?

(jabbering )

Donnie, come back!

Let's have a look.

Well, Mom, what do you think?

Oh, I think I'll make it by sundown, tops.

No, I mean, what do you think

about what I'm wearing?

You're asking me what I think about what you're wearing?

I know it must sound stupid

but I've been waiting to meet Sven

for, like, over a year now

and I really want him to like me.

Honey, you're a very special girl.

Just relax and be yourself.

He'll like you.

Great advice, Mom. Just be myself.

Oh, and about your outfit... I love it.

Thanks for the heads-up, Mom.

I'm going to go change.

Oh... oh...

Oh, I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

Don't you worry.

We'll get through this.

The pain's getting worse, Darwin.

I'm scared.

Listen, if anything happens to me

you can have the last bag of cheese munchies

I hid in the commvee.

Stop talking like that.

Nothing's going to happen to you.

But while we're on the subject

where are those cheese munchies?

(laughing )

Oh! Oh, I want my mom and dad!

(jabbering )

Eliza!

Eliza, Nigel, what's happened?

I found her out there nearly unconscious.

She feels fevered and extremely weak.

Mom, Dad... oh, it hurts.

It hurts here.

Cool down with some ice.

I'm going to look in thePhysician's Manual.

Right.

What's going on?

Debbie, please get me a large pitcher of water

and some ice.

Nigel, I think it could be appendicitis.

We have to get her to a hospital immediately.

Honey, we need to take you

to get help in the mini-comm.

Oh...

There you are, Poppet.

But I'm supposed to take the mini-comm to meet Sven.

I don't believe this.

Of all the times for my sister to get the flu

I won't see Sven again for another months.

I'm afraid it could be a bit more serious than that.

Your sister may need

her appendix out.

I do?

She does?

Stay here with Donnie.

(jabbering )

If they're going, I'm going.

A blowout.

The spare's in the trunk.

Everyone out.

Blast!

It's completely flat.

Oh! Ohh!

No operable forms of transportation.

Drat that mechanic!

If only we could get to town.

(gasps )

Nigel, you can fly Eliza to town.

Everyone, follow me.

(weakly ): Mom... I'm scared.

Oh, I know, honey.

But, trust me

your father's going to get you to the hospital.

And you don't evenneed your appendix.

Here we are.

Happy Valentine's Day, honey.

Marianne, this has got to be

the finest Valentine's gift in history.

You could fly Eliza to the nearest hospital in this.

(screaming )

What are you waiting for?!

Get me the map of the nearest airport.

Directions to the airport.

You can do this, Nigel.

What's going on?

Something's really wrong, isn't it?

They think it's my appendix.

Mom says you don't even need it.

So why have one at all?

Eliza, get out of that thing.

(groans )

I can't, Dar.

Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it.

Hey, maybe now will be a good time

to eat that emergency waffle.

(sniffling )

Ooh.

I'll talk to you soon.

I love you very, very much, sweetheart.

I'm losing light.

Stand back, please!

(propeller whirring )

(all gasp )

All under control, Poppet, dear.

(screaming )

Just a little bit of turbulence, lovely.

Perfectly normal.

(screeching )

Why, it's wedged-tailed eagle.

(chuckles )

Magnificent, isn't it?

Only drawback of this fine creature

is that it enjoys attacking planes and helicopters.

Not that it's ever brought a plane down.

(chuckling )

Then again, it's not as if we're actuallyin one.

(screeching )

Hang on to your stomach, pumpkin!

You're about to witness some fancywork here.

Oops.

(screeching )

See?

No worries, lovely.

(thunder rumbling )

Can't catch a break today, can we?

(deliriously ): Darwin, Darwin...

help me off this rock, and get mom and dad quick.

Eliza, what is it?

You'll have to speak up.

(imitates monkey chortling )

Oh, heaven, she's speaking gibberish.

I must get her out of this plane.

Where is that airport?

(shredding )

I'm not that keen on maps anyway.

(screams )

(teeth clattering )

A runway!

Oh, I'd give my acute sense of smell for a radio right now.

Here... we go!

(plane roaring )

(engine sputtering )

(tires screeching )

Oh...

No, Darwin. No, east is that way.

Come on, come on, lovely.

Going north, west, south...

(screeching like monkey )

(gasps )

Oh, no. She's gone mad.

(siren wailing )

(deep snoring )

(snoring continues )

(mumbling )

Huh?!

(groans )

Where am I?

How did I get here?

I flew you here last night.

But we don't have a plane.

We do, thanks to your mother.

Shush now.

You've had your appendix out.

Oh, I did?

Where's mom?

Surprise! Surprise!

Hi, honey.

How are you feeling?

Sore.

Here.

Thanks.

I'm sorry I wrecked your Valentine's date with Sven.

I didn't mean to, honest.

I told you it wasn't my cookies.

I'm sorry, too.

And if I had a choice

I'd pick you over Sven.

Well, just this once, anyway.

But don't try it again!

Marianne, Ilove my Valentine's gift.

I feel absolutely dreadful I didn't get you one.

You got me the best gift in the world:

you saved our daughter's life.

Oh, really?

(chuckles )

It was such an uneventful flight

a chimp could've done it.

Why do I feel that isn't true?

Ahh.

Deborah, remember when you asked

when was I first struck by Cupid's arrow?

Years ago, I was on a broken-down bus in El Salvador

and I turned to the woman next to me

and for no reason whatsoever

suddenly, kissed her.

(stammering ): Oh, on the cheek

mind you--

and that cheek belonged to none other

than your mother

my first and only love.

Oh, Nigel!

Gross! Thanks for reminding me

I'm the only one around here without a valentine.

And you're handling not seeing Sven very well, I might add.

Well, what about me?

I don't have a valentine or an appendix.

Maybe you'd let your dear old dad

be your valentine, huh?

Just this once.

And your mother.

Uh, okay, okay, I get it. Me, too.

Thanks, guys.

(chattering )

But, uh, could you be careful?

It still kind of hurts.

(laughing ) (chattering )

No time for discussions of love!

(grunts )