03x06 - Queen Of Denial

[bunniefuu]

- This is me, eliza thornberry,

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie--we found him.

And darwin--he found us.

Oh, yeah, about our house--it moves,

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show,

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

And between you and me, something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool, but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

- The egyptian desert often holds hidden treasures.

And I believe eliza is finding some right now.

Good show, poppet.

- Whoever answers this next pharaohs and pyramids question

Correctly can move out of the tomb of eternal sleep.

- I've been in the tomb of eternal sleep since you

Started this lame game.

- In what year was cleopatra born?

- Um, give me a second.

- Deborah?

- Dad, I'm not even playing.

- Very well, pumpkin.

- Tyler?

- B.c., In alexandria.

- Well done, tyler.

You certainly know your egyptian history.

- [Chattering]

- I learned all about it in my favorite movie

Of all time,duncan leduc and cleopatra's crypt.

I've only seen it, like, times.

- Did you know that mumsy believes we thornberrys

Are distant relatives to none other than

The queen of the nile herself?

- Cleopatra? Yeah, right.

- [Monkey chatter]

- I haven't even read that yet, you mummified monkey.

Darwin!

- [Hooting]

- Next question.

What does a camel store in its hump?

- Water.

- No, fat.

- Oh, bravo, eliza.

- Nigel, that reminds me.

As soon as we get to siwa, we need to get

A couple of camels.

- What are you going to film, uncle nige?

- The largest of egypt's wild cats,

The caracal, from the turkish wordkarakulak.

The caracal camouflages itself

In its sandy environment,

Which makes filming them quite a challenge.

- Eliza, you can't move through the valley of kings

Unless you drink water from the well of knowledge.

- No way.

Look, tyler, I think I know how to play, okay?

- We're here.

- Look, everyone, the siwa oasis.

- Oh, goodie.

- [Hooting]

- [Chattering]

- Oh, my goodness.

It's even more beautiful than I imagined, nigel.

- Mom, can I go check out that temple of amun

That we passed back there?

- Yes, you and tyler may go check out

The temple of amun.

- Oh.

- Are you sure the temple's open?

- Of course, it's always open.

- Whatever you say.

- [Chattering]

- So, dad.

Grandmumsy, cleopatra, what's the deal?

- Apparently mumsy's great grandmother had a necklace

That she claimed had been passed down

From cleopatra herself.

So mumsy enlisted the help of a genealogist,

But she never got a definitive answer.

- Well, I'm all over it.

Just call me "deb-opatra".

- Wow.

Follow me.

- Yeah. Like I have a choice.

- Miss, the temple is not open to the public.

It is not safe.

- Now imagine that.

You know, I heard somewhere that it's always open.

Now where did I hear that?

- Okay, that's enough.

Boy, it's hot out here.

- Here, drink.

You look a little funky.

- Forget the temple.

Let's check that out.

- I don't know how you put up with her.

- [Hooting]

[Keyboard clicking]

- Oh, hello, great, great, great, great, great, great,

Great, great-no time.

Guess what.

According to my research, old cleo and I

Have a lot in common.

First of all, she didn't like snakes. Ah!

Everyone knows I hate snakes.

She loved grapes.

I love grapes.

And the topper, she liked makeup.

Please. It's uncanny.

- But, deborah--

- And check this out, you can't deny it.

We look so much alike.

- I'm not sure I see the resemblance, pumpkin.

- Oh. Hello?

How can you not see it? Okay.

Picture me, ready, with black hair,

A little eyeliner, bangles, mom?

- Oh...sure, I see it.

In the eyes.

Just try not to conquer rome today.

- Up you get, poppet.

- Ooh. Ah, thank you darling.

- [Chattering]

- Oh, no, off you go.

- Debbie, please, keep an eye on donnie.

- No prob.

Every queen should have a servant boy.

- Cuz.

Where you going?

- Hello? Isn't it obvious?

I'm diving in.

- Eliza, wait.

I think you're seeing--

- Oh.

- Uh. A mirage.

[Sputtering]

I tried to warn you, but you always got to be right

About everything.

Got to have your own way, be the boss.

- That is not true.

- Oh, yeah?

First the game, then the temple,

And now the mirage.

You can't stand it when anyone else is right.

- Did you hear that?

- Yes, it sounded like... [Gibberish]

- Tyler says I have to be right about everything.

He thinks I'm bossy.

- Really, you?

- I'll show him.

Today I'll do everything his way all day long.

- You're going to let someone else be the leader?

- Yes. Now follow me.

- Ughhhh.

- So, ty, what do you want to do next?

- Me? [Chuckles]

You're asking me?

- Of course, cuz.

Whatever you want to do, I want to do.

- I'd kind of like to see the market.

- The market?

I mean, the market!

Yeah, great idea.

- All right.

Allons-y, mes ami.

- Alonza, what?

- That's what dunc always says.

It means, "let's go, friends."

In french.

Induncan leduc and buddy james,

He meets a stowaway who later becomes his sidekick.

I mean, it's not as good as the others,

But he does this really cool thing where you--

Hey, what's this?

Aaaaah!

- Tyler?

- [Shrieks] oh, no!

- Tyler?

Where are you?

Both: ahh!

All: ahh!

- Uhh.

- Oh, no.

How are we supposed to get out of here?

- Go ahead, say it.

- Say what?

- It's all my fault.

If we had been doing things your way, we--

- We wouldn't be stuck in a hole in the ground right now.

[Sighs]

So, ty, what do you think we should do?

- Me?

Take a look around?

- Great idea.

Lead the way.

- Oh, man.

I bet this is some kind of ancient burial chamber.

- Yeah, right...

You are!

- Of course I am.

Allons-y, mes ami.

- Ugh.

Wow. Look at this.

This cat's on the throne like a queen.

- Hey.

I bet there's mummies down here.

Let's go.

- But I want to look at this--

- Come on.

- Ugh.

Okay. Okay.

Eww.

- Oh, who knew sand could be so beautiful?

Now we just have to find those cats.

Right, nigel?

Nigel?

- Back here, sweetness.

Tallyho, camel.

[Grunting]

Ooh, you're so recalcitrant.

- Don't worry, dear.

I'm sure this is just a little glitch.

Come on.

Come on, boy.

[Clicking]

- [Spitting noise]

- Ugh.

Well, animals are really your area of expertise, dear.

- Hmm, odd.

The dromedary is usually a good-tempered, patient,

And--whoa!

Amazingly swift beast.

Whoa!

- Oh, wow. Look at that.

I wish I could read this.

Maybe it's a story about the mummies buried here.

- I can figure this out.

This is just like in

Duncan leduc and the mummy's tomb.

Dunc read some glyphs, and figured out where

The mummies were kept.

- Ty, that's a movie.

This is real life.

- Well, where do you think they get

The stuff for the movies?

From real life.

Okay, let's see.

This cat's paw is pointing to a mummy on the left,

So the room's got to be that way.

- No, it's not.

- Hey.

Who's the leader of this expedition?

- Ooohh.

I'm sure those hieroglyphics said to go the other way.

- Which way leads to food?

- Dar, this is about mummies, not your stomach.

- Then, who cares?

- [Trumpeting]

- Your queen has arrived.

- [Licking noise]

- Ugh! Donnie!

Come, servant boy.

You know, donald, it was my people,

The ancient egyptians,

Who invented the concept of beauty.

- The mummies should be right around here.

- Wait, what's that?

- Eliza!

- Tyler what are you--

- What was that?

- A booby trap.

The ancient builders set up traps

To catch grave robbers.

They're probably all over the place.

Just stick close to me.

I know what I am doing.

- [Hooting]

- I guess darwin can tell who's in charge.

- Ooh.

Ooh, ooh, ew! Get it off me! Ooh.

- You know you really should just follow me.

[Chuckles]

Eliza, don't move.

- Quit messing around.

We already saw the booby traps.

- No, I am serious.

Don't panic.

- Scorpions.

- Yep.

Dunc deals with them all the time.

Stick with me kid, and you'll see.

- Kid?

Tyler you are so self-- - eliza, please.

Just watch and listen to the master.

- What a show-off.

Ooh, he acts like he knows everything

With his lame movies and his, "allons-y mes ami."

- Do I have to remind you, those scorpions

Almost had you for lunch.

Speaking of lunch, what have you got in your backpack?

- [Purring]

- Look, dar, a cat.

- Here, kitty, kitty.

- Mrooowww! - [Shrieks]

- Tyler, I'll be right there.

I've got to... Get a stone out of my shoe.

Hi, what are you doing down here?

- It is I who should be asking you that question.

You interrupted my nap.

- Oh, I'm sorry if we woke you.

We kind of fell down here, your highness.

- You fell?

I wouldn't know anything about that.

You see, we cats are a little more

Light on our paws than you humans.

- You look just like the cats in all the wall paintings.

- Well, I should.

They are my family, and this is their tomb.

I come here to honor them.

- So this is a tomb for humans and cats?

- Absolutely.

In this part of the world,

Cats have always been considered

Very, very special.

- And you are, your highness.

- After all, besides people, the only other animals

Deemed worthy of mummifying were cats.

- Speaking of mummies, your highness,

Could you tell me how to get to the mummy room?

The human one, I mean.

- Well, certainly not the way

Your little friend is going.

- I knew it!

- In fact, I'd warn him if I were you.

That way is very dangerous.

The only creatures that survive that way

Are the rats.

I, of course, find them very tasty,

But you should find another route.

- Thanks...your highness.

Tyler, stop! You're going the wrong way.

- Oh, yeah? Which way should I be going?

Oh, let me guess, your way.

- No. I mean, yes.

Just do it my way this time.

- No way.

The master knows what he's doing.

- Tyler.

- Not again.

[All screaming]

- I tried to tell you.

- Yeah, yeah.

I'll get us out of here.

Aha! The lever.

This'll do it.

See, no problem.

- What's going on?

- I don't know.

- The walls.

- We're going to be crushed!

- I knew it.

I should have never let you be in charge.

- Hey.

What do you mean, "let me?"

- I decided I'd let you be the leader,

Just to prove I don't always have to have my own way.

- What?

- Yeah. Dumb idea.

- Hey, I read the hieroglyphics.

I knew about the traps, and, oh, yeah, I saved your life.

- Yeah, and you made the walls close in.

Now we're going to do it my way.

Oh, there has to be a release somewhere.

That must be it.

Uuhhh.

- Oh, yeah, your way is much better.

[All screaming]

- Ugh, over here.

Tilt the camera up to your queen.

Okay, servant boy, I'm ready for my close-up.

- Uh, um, ah.

- I'm here in egypt, land of my people,

To trace my royal heritage.

Uh, donnie?

Donnie, where are you?

- Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, waaa.

- Aauuugh!

Oh, come on.

- [Grunting]

- We are in the siwa oasis

Observing the exquisite caracal cat.

You can see how it camo--

[Sputtering]

- Nigel, take cover. - [Coughing]

This is just not our day.

- They're getting closer.

Ahh.

- We got to stop them.

Hey.

This looks like what duncan le duc jumped on

Induncan le duc and the historic stone of siam.

- Will you just forget duncan le duc?

- Trust me, I know how to save us.

- What are you doing?

- It's not working.

But when he jumped on the stone of siam,

It was a release to the netherworld.

- Duncan le duc may have jumped alone,

But it looks like this stone takes three bodies.

Darwin, come on.

We all need to jump.

Ready, set-- - go.

[All screaming]

- Real life is so much better than the movies.

- Your highness?

- [Purring]

I was in the middle of a perfect dream.

I had just pounced on a rat.

- I'm sorry to disturb you again, your highness,

But is this the way out?

- Not for long.

- Oh, no, the sand is pouring in.

Tyler, I see the way out.

- Never seen a real mummy up close.

- Tyler, come on! If we don't get out now,

We're going to be buried alive.

- Let's get out of here!

[All grunting]

[All coughing]

- We made it.

- Oh, no.

Now we'll never find that mummy chamber again.

- Yeah, but wasn't it cool?

At least we got to see it, thanks to me.

- You're right. And we got out, thanks to me.

- Okay, let's go...

Wherever you want.

-Allons-y, mes ami.

- So how did it go with the cats, uncle nige?

- It was a bit of a flop, I'm afraid.

- We never got our caracal footage,

Thanks to that sandstorm.

- Yes, our filming came to something of a "sandstill."

- How about you, ty?

Did you and eliza do anything interesting?

- Nah, not really.

- Well, I did.

In fact, I captured it all on video.

Prepare to be mesmerized.

I made this for grandmumsy to prove our royal heritage.

I'm here in egypt, the land of my people,

To trace my royal heritage.

- I think debbie's dehydrated.

She's obviously seeing things.

- Look, marianne.

- Oh, isn't she beautiful?

- She certainly is.

- Just call me cleo.

- Now, how did donnie manage to locate and film

A caracal cat?

- Thank you, loyal subjects.

You may bow down before your queen.

Muah!

[Laughter]

- Klasky csupo.

- [Chattering]