03x02 - Time Flies

[bunniefuu]

This is me, eliza thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin? He found us.

(Jabbering )

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves.

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

(Panting )

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

(Insects chirping... )

(Humming... )

(Jabbering... )

Whoa! Ooh!

(Jabbering... )

Egad, donnie boy.

It's already hot enough to grill a kipper

And according to my trusty timepiece, it's only...

Er, um... Midnight, give or take an hour or two.

Or, or, or more.

(Chuckles )

It arrived while we were in the smoky mountains.

This is the first time I've had a chance to peek at it.

Eliza: dad's going to love it!

Debbie: yeah, it's not bad.

But, hey, who needs a watch

In the middle of nowhere?

The catalog says it turns into a compass, too.

Whoa...

This is so cool.

Wait a minute.

Where's the inscription we paid $. Extra for?

"Happy birthday from all of us

With...loove."

"Loove?" Oh, man.

Well, they got close

And it is the thought that counts.

You mean thethoot.

So we'll give it to him tomorrow morning

At his birthday breakfast?

Absolutely.

Oh, he's going to be so surprised.

(Mosquitoes buzzing )

(Donnie yelling )

(Smack )

Apparently the mosquitoes don't find you tasty, my boy.

But unfortunately they've always...

(Smack )

...considered me a delicacy.

But no matter. (Chuckles )

I came prepared.

(Buzzing continues )

(Humming )

Yes!

(Humming )

Ah...

(Tv show theme playing )

Where did you find that old tv?

Hey, there, guys and gals!

How would you like to win a ten-minute shopping spree at your favorite mall?

Whoa, we're only eight hours from a mall!

All you got to do is

Tune in at noon for the clue

And call in with the correct answer.

Don't forget: tune it at noon!

(Eerie music... )

Eliza: kind of fuzzy, isn't it?

Who cares? They're speaking english!

Shh... Here comes the swamp witch.

(Gasps )

(Evil laughter )

(Screaming )

You're doomed!

I'm not sure, but I think this may be a documentary.

Wish us luck, pumpky poodles.

We're off to film that magnificent endangered bird

The snail kite.

Good luck!

Hey, while you guys are gone

Can we go exploring in the fan boat?

Did you say "we?"

Come on, deb, I need you to drive.

Besides, it will be fun.

Yeah, right.

You know, rumor has it

The everglades hires the cutest guys in the whole park system.

Can we go, mom, please?

Hmm... Oh, I don't know.

That boat's on loan from the park service.

Oh, I don't see any harm, especially with all those strapping young men about.

Thanks, dad.

You won't be sorry.

And remember

To watch out for snakes, sunburn

And those pesky alligators.

If one should see you...

Alligators? Near camp?

Highly unlikely event if the girls stay close by.

Not to worry, love.

(Whispers ): zigzag... It throws them off the trail.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, let's go check out the action!

Yeah, come on, darwin.

Oh...

(Sighs )

Don't forget: tune in at noon!

I got to make sure I'm back in time for that contest.

You're never on time for anything.

Hmm...

Eliza, it's too hot for this.

Who has any energy?

Donnie: yippee!

(Laughing )

(Laughs ) okay!

Let's see what this baby can do!

(Whimpers )

(Girls laughing and whooping )

(Bird twittering )

Exactly whose bright idea was it to go exploring

In this godforsaken swamp?

Hey, you wanted to come, too.

Only because someone told me this place was overrun with cute guys.

I said it was a rumor, didn't i?

Where the heck are we, anyway?

How should I know?

I can't see anything in this fog!

(Shudders )

This place is starting to give me the creeps.

I wonder if that swamp witch really exists.

She could be watching us right now.

(Yelps )

(Whimpering )

You're not really scared of that, are you?

It was just a dumb movie. It's not real.

Oh, yeah, says who?

Says me.

Debbie: everybody knows that swamps are filled

With all kinds of weird creatures.

Yeah, well, I don't see any swamp witches anywhere.

Whoa!

(Hissing )

(Girls screaming... )

(Eliza yelping )

(Yelling and whimpering... )

Maybe it's time we head back to camp.

Time?!

Oh, man, I hope I didn't miss that shopping spree contest.

:! Oh... It figures.

Dad's new watch?

I can't believe you brought it with you.

Hey, you need a watch

If you're in the middle of nowhere.

Now we know how long it took to get lost.

We're not lost... Exactly.

On second thought...

Maybe we are.

Hey, why don't we check the compass?

Which I brought.

Okay, now...

Let's see...

I think we're...

This thing is broken!

The needle always points in the same direction!

Give me that. You obviously have no idea what you're doing.

Yes, I do.

No, you don't!

Let go!

Not on your life!

(Grunting and yelling... )

Aah! Aah!

Uh-oh...

Both: your fault!

Way to go, eliza!

Dad's going to have a great surprise in the morning!

You were the one who brought his watch.

Yeah, well, you're the one

Who dropped it in the water!

I am not, and if you think...

Well, I'm not going back in there.

Neither am i.

Shrill, eerie voice: you...!

(Both gasp )

What, what's that?

Debbie: oh, my gosh!

It's the swamp witch!

You!

Come here!

Deb... She means us.

Whatever you do, don't answer her.

That's how she lures people into a watery grave!

(Starts engine )

Give it! Donnie!

(Grunts )

(Yells )

(Buzzing... )

Wh... Pesky...

Marianne: well, nigel

Any snail kites?

No... Yee...

But I believe I've encountered all species of mosquitoes

That make their residence in the everglades.

They still find this old naturalist... (Grunts )

Irresistible.

Oh, we've been out here all day, nigel.

Let's go back to camp and try again tomorrow.

(Mosquitoes buzzing... )

Capital notion.

(Mosquitoes buzzing... )

(Grunts )

Ow...

(Groans )

Mom's going to flip when we tell her about the watch.

Well, good luck.

Let me know how things turn out.

I am not doing this alone.

Hi, girls.

Did you meet anyone interesting?

Define "interesting."

Mom... We have something to tell you.

(Whistling )

(Mosquitoes buzzing )

Nigel, are you all right?

Those bites must really itch.

Oh, quite.

But this maddening sensation

Should subside by...

Oh...

Soon. (Chuckles )

I should say.

(Whistling... )

So, girls, what is it you wanted to tell me?

Well, mom...

Wereally like what you've done

With your hair.

Well, the humidity does, uh, strange things to it, but thank you.

How are we going to get that watch back by breakfast tomorrow?

I have no idea. It's getting late.

Mom and dad will never let us go out now.

Then there's only one thing to do.

(Snoring... )

(Debbie grunts )

Eliza: ouch! Watch where you're going.

(Laughs )

Ah...

Shh!

Shh!

(Jabbering and laughing )

I'll grab the snorkel and meet you at the boat.

Okay, but don't take all day.

We've only got a couple of hours.

(Grunting )

It sure is dark out here.

Want to go back?

No... Do you?

No.

(Starts engine )

(Screeching )

Where are you going now?

How am I supposed to know?

Nothing looks familiar.

(Scraping hull )

(Gasps )

This place is creeping me out!

This is the wrong way.

You should have turned at that log.

You think you know your way around here?

Then you drive.

(Gasps )

Nice job, deb.

Hey, it's not my fault...

No, I mean it, nice job.

That's the weird tree we saw yesterday.

This is where we dropped the watch.

I knew that.

(Gasps ) I see it!

So, who's going in?

Oh...!

All right!

But keep the light steady on the water.

It's dark down there and I don't need any surprises.

Wa-hoo... Ha!

(Jabbering... )

Ooh...

(Gasps )

Ooh!

(Screaming... )

Eww...!

(Hissing )

Get it off, get it off...!

(Yelping )

Oh, just give me the light!

Ooh, ooh, ehh!

(Snarls )

(Gasping and grunting )

Thanks a lot, deb, you were a big help!

I had a crisis!

I had a bigger one!

Yeah, I bet.

(Snarls )

I'll take that!

I'm not through with you.

So, did you get the watch?

No, I didn't get the watch.

I'm lucky I made it out with all my body parts.

Now what are we going to do?

(Jabbering... )

Ooh...

Whoo...

Eliza: oh, my gosh, the watch!

Donnie, you did it!

(Snarling )

(Gasping and yelling... )

(Screaming )

Quick! Plug up the hole!

With, with what? With what?

Ooh... (Chewing )

Aha!

Aah!

It didn't work?

No, I touched a snaily thing!

Let's just get out of here!

(Grunting )

(Engine grinding... )

Oh... I don't believe this.

What else could possibly go wrong?

(Engine grinding )

(Grunting in frustration )

Oh... Come on, would you start already?!

Oh, my gosh, where's darwin?

Darwin!

Yes?

Oh, there you are.

Hand me that paddle.

(Crunch )

Debbie: aah!

We're sinking!

Bail, bail!

(Grunting... )

(Darwin whimpering )

Come on, come on!

(Grunting and whimpering... )

Woman: you there!

(All screaming )

Debbie: it's the swamp witch!

(Alligators hissing... )

(Banging and whimpering )

(Engine starts )

(Crash, crunch )

Ow... Oh...

I been calling you!

Why didn't you answer?

Go back to your evil swamp shack!

I'm young, I've got the rest of my life ahead of me.

Leave me alone!

Eliza, too!

What are you prattling on about, girl?

Do you need help or not?

Huh?

Yes, we do need help, please.

Okay, but first...

What have you been up to out here?

We lost our dad's present in the water.

We wanted it back for his birthday.

Birthday? (Chuckles )

Well, for heaven's sakes.

It looks like I owe you an apology.

I thought you youngsters were up to no good.

You see, I live outside the park

And have been protecting these waters from ne'er-do-wells for years.

This is all extremely fascinating

But our boat is still sinking!

Put a cork in it, honey.

(Whimpers )

Oh... Thanks.

(Gasps )

Calm your little teenage head.

I'll tow you back to your camp.

Eliza?

Deb?

Hello?

Donnie?

Where could they have gone to?

Nigel, the boat's gone.

They must be in the swamp.

Hmm, not like our brood

To wander off this early.

Good heavens!

What's happened?

We were beginning to get worried.

Well, it's kind of a long story.

These two got a bit of a scare in the swamp.

Why... Harriet brubaker devlin.

Oh...! I've read every one of your books on the everglades.

Oh... Oh, what a treat to meet you in person.

I'll be darned... Nigel thornberry!

Just when I thought the day couldn't get any freakier.

But dad still doesn't have a present.

This is such a surprise.

Oh, you've got to stay for breakfast.

Girls, why don't you run ahead and get thingsset up?

Uh... Sure, mom.

Yeah... Great.

What do we do now?

(Roaring nearby )

(Both gasp )

Alligator: my throat... That stings.

(Coughing hoarsely )

Hey, get back here!

I'm not taking the heat for this watch thing!

(Roaring hoarsely... )

Hello, remember me?

I couldn't help but overhearing.

You have something in your throat?

What's it to you?

Well, I was thinking maybe I could help.

Ah... Yeah? How?

Well, I could, um, reach in and, uh...

(Fearfully ): pull it out?

Reach in? I'd like that.

Um, you know, just to help... You.

(Hoarsely ): ahh...

Hmm... Think you could open a little wider?

(Hoarsely ): like this? Ahh...

Yeah, that's good.

Here goes.

Ahh... (Hissing )

(Screaming )

Run!

(Gasping and panting... )

(Panting )

Do you mind telling me what is going on?

That was the alligator

That swallowed dad's watch!

I can't believe that you stuck your hand in an alligator's mouth.

What were you thinking?!

I got the watch... I got the watch.

Cool.

Ooh... Not so cool.

Look, it's all chewed up.

We can't give dad this.

Boy, we really messed up his birthday.

Marianne: eliza? Debbie?

Oh, there you are.

What's going on?

We thought we heard someone scream.

Oh, dad, I'm so sorry.

Oh... What is it, love?

We lost your birthday present in the swamp, then donnie caught it

But an alligator ate it, so I pulled it out, but it's all banged up.

Honey, slow down.

Birthday?

Oh, eliza, my birthday...

Oh... It's today.

What's this?

A watch?

Oh, and it's attractively bent in three places.

Oh, and it's a compass, too.

Oh, why, it's the most incredible

Astonishing, magnificent thing I've ever seen!

Look on the back.

"Happy birthday from all of us, withloove."

Oh, iloove you all, too.

Thank you so much.

(Bird screeching )

Hugh digby's paraphernalia! Look!

It's the endangered snail kite!

Marianne... The camera!

(Snail kites screeching... )

(Laughs ) well, what do you know?

The boat's filled with apple snails.

The snail kite's favorite!

Oh, goodness, what a birthday.

You did all right today, twerp.

Thanks. You weren't half-bad, either.

(Donnie jabbering )

What's that, caller?

(Gasps )

You'll have to speak up, caller.

If your answer's correct

You'll win the mall shopping spree!

Okay, donnie, why don't you give the pretty little phone

To your friend debbie? Now!

(Jabbering... )

Donnie! Donnie!

Get down here, you little rat!

You're ruining my life!

(Jabbering )

What? I'm afraid I can't understand you.

If you want to win the prize, you're going to have to slow down just a little bit.

This guy was raised by orangutans or something!

Donnie, you get down here!

Debbie: I'm not sure, but I think this may be a documentary.