02x30 - Bogged Down

[bunniefuu]

This is me-- eliza thornberry

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom...

And a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin-- he found us.

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts his nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

And between you and me, something amazing happened.

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool...

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.



]

(Birds chirping )

(Donnie chattering )

Nigel: * though he, himself, has said it *

* And it's greatly to his credit *

* He remains an englishman *

* He remains an... Englishman. *

(Nigel whistling )

(Growls )

(Whistling continues )

You'll do just fine on that test, debbie.

Oh, here's an easy one.

That's an easy one?

The declaration of independence

Was signed on... It was signed on...

Well, I'll give you a hint.

The date is now a national holiday.

They signed it on christmas?

When did they get to open their presents?

Debbie, I can't believe you don't know this.

(Debbie growls )

See, I told you!

I'm going to flunk my final.

But haven't you studied?

How am I supposed to study america in the philippines

Or borneo or the antarctic?

(Laughing )

Normal kids get to study in their own rooms

With four walls and a big-screen tv.

I know how hard it is for you, so far away from everything.

Not far enough away to miss this test.

Nature preserve, here we come.

Hey, can I go with you guys?

Why not?

We'll make it a family outing.

I have a feeling debbie and I

Better study some more for this test.

Sounds like dad's going to need a new cameraperson today.

If it's okay, nigel.

Splendid.

It will be a father-daughter outing thingie

And best of all, you'll get to see the philippine angler fish.

I'll be the best cameraperson you ever had.

I mean...

Except for mom.

Darwin, guess what!

You're going to be my camera assistant.

We'll paddle a canoe upstream

And film the rare philippine angler fish.

I'd rather stay here

And munch on the rare cheese crunchies starfish.

Well, I can't let you miss out.

Oh!

All set?

Tallyho, poppetykins!

We need to get to the preserve as soon as we can.

We've only got three hours before the sun goes down.

(Nigel whistling )

The rain forest is incredible.

And to think it's just a hop, skip and a jump

From our beach campsite.

(Fly buzzing )

Where are we, dad?

Well, according to my map

The stream curves away from the preserve.

It will take us at least an hour out of our way.

If we head through this bog

We'll arrive at the angler fishes' cove

In a matter of minutes.

And time is of the essence.

Great, let's go.

Don't tell me we're actually going into that horrible place.

It's just a bog.

You know, like a swamp.

Come on, dad, I'll race you.

Slow down, poodles!

The philippine rain forest

Is simply teeming with crocodiles and pythons.

(Yelps )

What did he say?

Oh, nothing.

Dad just said to watch out

For pythons and crocodiles, you know.

Why don't I wait here till you two get back?

Okay, but then you'll be all alone.

(Darwin whimpering )

(Eerie, echoing voice ): leave this place!

Did you hear that?

Yes. What is it?

I said, leave!

But what kind of animal are you?

The kind that eats humans!

(Both yelling )

My word.

Eliza, what's wrong?

There's something up there in the trees.

Smashing!

Let's capture it on film, shall we?

Why are you still here?

Go!

I wish we could, dad, but the lighting's wrong

And we need to save our film for the angler fish.

If I know your mother, and I do, she packed plenty of film.

Leave!

(Chittering in terror )

I've never seen darwin quite this affectionate before.

It's not worth filming.

Let's take the scenic route.

Oh, but, eliza, we might miss our one opportunity

To film the angler fish.

Maybe we'll see him on the way.

I suppose you do have something of a point.

Leave! Now!

Oh!

(Eerie wailing )

Come on, dad!

Ow!

(Yelps )

You are a mystery, poppet.

One minute, we have all the time in the world

The next, it's piccadilly circus at rush hour.

You said it yourself-- we can't miss the angler fish.

Nigel: are you all right?

It's just a little cut.

Even a tiny cut can turn septic out here in the jungle.

Out of the boat now.

I'll do it, dad.

You can load the rest of the stuff.

But shouldn't i...

I got it.

(Eerie voice ): here we come...

Come...

(Eerie laughing )

Oh, look at you

Dressing your wound without flinching.

Well, that's the british half of you.

Oh, watch out.

Okay, we're out of here.

(Donnie chattering )

Oh, this is much better.

A change of scenery will do the trick.

Here's an idea.

Let's really change the scenery

And head back to california.

Oh...

Oh, for goodness sake.

My goodness, have you never

Opened these books before?

All righty, let's see here.

Oh, the american revolution was brought about by...

(Radio playing )

Donnie, don't.

The american revolution was...

(Radio playing )

Donnie!

(Rock music plays )

Oh...

Wait, I love this song!

Debbie, you need to study.

* When I get my license to drive *

* Gonna leave all you losers behind *

* The minute that I turn the key *

* This whole world belongs to me... *

Debbie, the test!

Hold on!

Here comes the big finish.

* When I start to give it lots of gas *

* I'll be tearing out real fast. *

Yeah!

That band's called foxenronic. They're from boston.

Didn't something important in the american revolution

Happen in boston?

Anyway, the lead singer's got three multiple-layer hair weaves

From a salon called whiff in paris.

He was born august , so he's a leo

And a good match for me.

Now, how can you remember all that

But you can't remember who won the revolutionary w*r?

Because bands are important.

Oh, maybe we need to try a new study method.

(Sighing )

Ready...

And action!

Oh, I've always wanted to say that.

This protected nature preserve

Is home to the rare philippine angler fish.

Not only is it colored to blend in

With the surrounding coral reef

It has a simply stupendous method

For catching its dinner.

Now then, let us quietly search for this astonishing creature.

Cut!

Perfect take, dad.

Let me check out the underwater viewfinder.

Ow, wow.

That's so cool.

Remember, poppet, walk quietly and gently.

We don't want to startle the angler fish.

The beautiful specimen you see there is a parrot fish.

Very common in tropical seas

And no, it doesn't repeat what one says.

(Laughs )

The philippine angler fish grows a spine

That hangs forward just above its mouth

And the end of this spine

Is shaped precisely like a tiny fish.

Other fish swim up

Thinking it is a scrumptious morsel.

By the time they realize their mistake, it's too late.

I got it. I got it all!

Let's do your wrap-up.

(Clears throat )

You just witnessed a wondrous example of the...

Hang on. Move to your left.

There's a parrot over there.

I want him in the sh*t.

A parrot and a parrot fish.

Oh, this is going to be great.

Oh, wait, a little more.

(Yells )

Ah, blast!

Dad, dad, are you all right?

Egad, I seem to have been stung

By a poisonous rockfish.

Poisonous?

Extremely, in fact.

Not to worry.

There's plenty of antitoxin in my handy first aid kit.

Mmm-mmm-mmm... Where could it be?

It's... It's not there?

(Panting )

But it has to be there.

I used it at the bog.

Oh, no, I must have left it back there.

Nigel: that's rather unfortunate.

Without that antitoxin

I'll depart this mortal coil in less than an hour.

You mean, you'll... You'll...

Precisely.

Fascinating how the process works.

First, I'll develop a fever.

Shortly thereafter, I'll begin hallucinating.

Only once I'm beyond pain

Will I give up the ghost

As they say.

Eliza, would you be a love and fetch that kit?

I can already feel that icky boo-boo poison going to work.

Oh, this is all my fault.

There, there, pet.

No need to cry.

There's just enough time

But you'll need to take the shortcut

Back through the bog.

The... The bog.

Yes, you remember the bog, don't you, poodles?

Misty, atmospheric, sort of damp.

I remember!

Do make haste, pudding.

There's no time to wallow in the mire.

Dad, hang on.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Ooh, whew...

Yes, here it comes--

The raging fever...

(Chuckling ): right on schedule.

Dad...

(Whimpering )

Dad got stung by a poisonous fish.

We have to run back through the bog

And get the first aid kit.

We're his only chance.

Come on!

We can't go through the bog.

You heard those evil creatures.

There's no choice, darwin.

If we take the long way

It'll be too late.

But, eliza, they'll eat us alive.

Eliza! Wait for me!

(Whimpering )

(Grunts )

Hurry, darwin! Hurry!

Everything's going to be just peachy.

You'll see.

Eliza will return before you can say

Steak and kidney pie.

After all, she's a borntherry.

Greetings, feathered friend.

Now, what sort of a bird would you be?

From this angle, you bear a striking resemblance

To a vulture.

(Chuckles )

I do hope she gets back in time.

Steak and kidney pie!

(Chuckles )

Whoa.

This place got even scarier.

And it smells worse, too.

Okay, this is it.

Here we go.

Hey, maybe they left.

Or maybe they haven't.

(Screams )

(Whimpering )

There's nothing to be afraid of, darwin.

Let's go.

(Growling )

Going somewhere?

Crocodiles! Now what?

These aren't the animals from before.

So, they're crocodiles.

I've handled crocs before.

Just do what I do.

Hey, guys, want to see a trick?

(Grunts )

Darwin!

Uh-oh.

Oh!

(Whimpering )

Which half do you want-- top or bottom?

(Screams )

Darwin, jump, now!

I'll just stay right here, thank you.

(Shrieking ): eliza!

Help me!

Ah. (Screams )

(Yells )

Hey, get me out of this!

Huh?

(Screams )

Nigel: * and I sailed to catalonia *

* And I've eaten some bologna *

* I remain an englishman *

* Yes! *

* I remain an e-e-e-englishman. *

(Laughing )

Hello.

I'm deeply honored, your majesty.

I've always dreamed of a knighthood.

Yes--

Sir nigel thornberry, knight of the roundtable.

I say, old chap

Ever heard the one

About the two elephants and the rhino? (Burps )

Oh, you have, eh?

(Eerie voice moaning )

What's that?

Who-who's up there?

(Eerie voice ): we are!

You escaped the crocodiles

But now your luck

Has run out!

I knew it wasn't our lucky day.

I need to get through.

(Eerie voice ): go ahead, try it.

Try to pass this tree.

Eliza, let's turn back.

No!

No.

Come on, darwin, we're going on.

What? But, but...

We have to save dad.

Stop!

Go back!

(Deep breath )

One more step and you're finished!

Okay, we heard you.

See?

No more steps.

We'll be, we'll be going now.

(Eerie voice cackling )

Leave now, or we'll...

Oh!

(Animals squeaking )

...eat you for supper?

You? You're the ones who've been threatening me?

Please, don't hurt us.

You're just a bunch of flying lemurs!

You couldn't hurt anyone.

That's right.

So, please, just go.

How dare you scare...

Eliza like that!

Why I ought to, to... Forget it.

We've got to get back to dad.

(Panting )

(Relieved sighs )

(Laughing loudly )

(Chuckling )

Oh, mummy, those drippings from the muffins

Smell delicious.

Oh, there you are, captain.

Bad news, I'm afraid.

We've struck an iceberg.

Marianne, thank goodness, you're here.

Come to nigel.

(Squeaking ) oh, don't cry, sweet wife.

Always remember that I love you

And the children, with all my heart.

Eliza (distantly ): dad!

Dad!

Eliza?

Is that you?

Yes, it's me. Hang on.

You're going to be all right.

Oh! Which one is the antidote?

Here it is.

"Poisonous fish antitoxin."

That's the one, pumpkin.

Dad, lift your head up

So I can give you the medicine.

I... Can't... Sorry.

(Moans )

Oh, we're too late.

Lift him up, darwin.

I'm going to help him drink this.

(Grunting )

(Gulping )

Come on, dad.

(Groaning )

(Gasps )

Uh, oh, oh...

Right!

Interesting day we've had, wouldn't you say?

Back to the commvee, then.

Oh, dad!

(Rap music plays )

(Speaking gibberish )

Debbie: yeah, yeah!

* Break it down, break it down *

* Ah, ah, oh-oh-oh-oh *

* Way back after the revolution *

* The first three presidents in the nation *

* Were washington, adams and jefferson *

* And in a few years-- and I'm not lyin'-- *

* The constitution was done for ratifyin' *

* Delaware was the first state to sign *

* By , they all said it was fine *

* Then there was a dude named james monroe *

* In , he wrote a doctrine, you know? *

* Oh, boy, an "a" is gonna be mine *

* And that's enough time for my rappin' rhyme. *

Oh, great job, debbie.

You'll do fine on that test tomorrow.

(Eliza panting )

You guys won't believe what happened today.

Dad got stung by a poisonous fish

And I had to go back through the jungle...

Poisonous fish?!

Yeah.

See, we were filming...

Never mind that. Are you okay?

Is your father okay? Where is he?

Right here, darling!

Good as new.

Oh, nigel!

Thank goodness you're all right.

(Smooching )

(Darwin panting )

(Grunting )

(Speaking gibberish )

Ah!

(Loud snap ) aah!

(Donnie laughing )

So, what happened?

A slight mishap, nothing more.

But all's well that ends well, eh?

Besides, eliza gotgreat footage.

Thanks, dad. I was kind of scared at first

But it turned out it wasn't scary at all...

I mean, except for the pythons and the crocodiles.

Oh.

Thank you for that valiant rescue, pet.

Hey! What about me?

I wrote a rap song today.

Do you want to hear it?

Okay,now I'm afraid.

(All laughing )

(Rap b*at playing )

* You can't b*at the thornberrys in the wild *

* We travel with a chimp and a feral child *

* We face down lions and buffalo *

* Today a poison fish laid dad low *

* It was up to eliza to make the save *

* She had to help dad, she had to be brave *

* To go through the bog and back just in time *

* So eliza's the hero of this thornberry rhyme. *

I say, old chap, ever heard the one

About the two elephants and the rhino?