02x07 - Chimp Off The Old Block

[bunniefuu]

This is me, eliza thornberry

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin? He found us.

[Jabbering]

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

[Panting]

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

[Captioning sponsored by the u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

[Babbling]

[Yelling]

The closer we get

The more I'm thinking this is a big mistake.

I don't know why I'm doing this.

Because I'm your best friend and you love me?

Because you know nothing you say would stop me?

That one.

Darwin, we're in the congo

As in, like, the chimp capital of the universe.

This is my one-time chance

To hang out with chimps.

But you hang out with me every day.

I want to hang out with the kind

Who don't drink out of a glass.

Darwin, stop being a party pooper.

I am not!

And chimp life is no party.

A human just doesn't march in and hang out--

It's dangerous.

Hello, I'm eliza thornberry, remember?

Hey, if I got along

With rhinos, jaguars and gorillas

How hard could this be?

This is different, eliza.

They've got secret signals

And ways of telling each other things.

There's no way you could ever fit in.

Did somebody say "no way"?

[Giggles]

Oh, me and my big chimp mouth.

[Grunting]

[Yells]

Ow!

Wow.

[Laughing]

[Giggling]

[Babbling]

[Giggling]

Whoo!

[Laughing]

Do you want to play?

[Giggling]

This is fun, dar, try it.

No, I better just...

[Squeals]

Watch.

Phew, okay, the oil is changed, the footage is mailed

I've laundered the bird droppings

From your father's shirts, pants and shoes.

The breakfast dishes...

Debbie, the dishes.

Ugh, it's metal-mouth's turn.

Well, could you take care of it, please?

Sure, I'll personally make sure

She does them when she gets back.

Debbie...

Oh!

[Sighs]

"Air-conditioned luxury and leisure," oh...

Did you know that your father and I

Having been working since, now, I don't know

The minute we met?

I need a day off.

Grab the camera, darling-- smashing news.

I've discovered a herd of marvelous striped-horn bongo!

Not today, nigel.

Oh, it was definitely today, darling

Or I would have told you yesterday.

I want to dothis:

A state-of-the-art astroliner air-conditioned bus tour

Through ndoki national park

Ending with a gourmet picnic by a charming lake.

Oh, what do you think?

You want us to be... Tourists?

Yes, I do, nigel.

For once, I want someone to drivemearound

And cook a gourmet meal forme--

Something other than my guinea fowl stew.

We can talk to other people.

Oh, going somewhere with other people...

On a bus with my parents... And other people!

Okay, let's do it.

When do we leave?

But we're so busy today.

Well, that was yesterday, dear

And eliza's out running around with chimps.

She'll be back by dinner and so will we.

I suppose we could try something different for a day.

Yes!

[Laughing]

[Chimps stop laughing while others continue]

Looks like I'm fitting right in, darwin.

I told you!

Huh?

So you finally decided to join us, eh, darwin?

How do you play this one, guys?

Don't move or we're done for.

Huh?

[Gasps]

[Growling]

[Chimps chattering]

Start eating leaves

And don't look at the chimps.

Okay.

[Jabbering loudly]

You! [Screams]

Intruder!

M-m-me?

Not only are you trespassing but you brought an outsider.

Excuse me, but it's not his fault.

If I could just talk to you for a second...

Silence!

[Yelling]

[Growling]

[All gasp sharply]

[Whimpers]

[Grows softly]

Hmm.

[Babbling]

[In terrified whisper]: oh, donnie, no...

[Laughing and babbling]

This little one came with you?

[Whimpering] uh-huh.

Well, in that case, I'll allow you to stay

And long as you keep out of my way!

I'm sure once you get to know me you'll...

Tumbulu is finished talking.

[Babbling]

[Giggling]

We should go home while we still can.

No way.

Look, this is going to be a piece of cake.

Just wait.

Come on, he likes donnie.

He thinks he's cute.

[Gasps]

[Laughing]

[Smacking lips]

Well, someone around here happens to thinki'mcute.

[Gasps]

Kumba...

[Growling]

[Tittering nervously]

[Engine starts]

Ah, well, it's not exactly like the ad

But I'm sure it will be fun.

[Giggles nervously]

[Static and feedback]

[Blowing]

I apologize for the broken seats

And the air conditioner being on the el blinko.

In the old good news column, the weatherman tells us it's

But with the wind chill it's only .

Sterling stroke of luck for us tourists.

What hey-ho-ha!

Uh, yes...

Well, I'd like you to meet my son, ned

Who's visiting from college.

He'll be helping out.

[Moaning] oh...

I'll be back.

Don't wait up.

[Giggling]

What you digging for, hutu?

Dinner-- want some of this goo from a bug?

It's really yummy.

Uh, no, thanks.

I had goo for breakfast.

But you want to teach me some more tree tricks?

I can't-- we all have to find food so we can share.

No one's allowed to play till we're done.

Okay, maybe later?

There's got to be someone around here

Who isn't busy.

Me, I'm not busy.

Why don't we both just not be busy together?

Darwin, stop worrying--

The chimps like me.

[Chattering excitedly]

"Like" isn't the word.

What'd I do?

The tree branch thing.

It means you're angry with them.

I'd better show you some other thingsnotto do.

Cool it, dar-- I'm picking it up as I go.

I'm fine!

You're fine?

I'm fine!

Fine!

Go ahead, you're on your own.

But if you get eaten, don't come running to me!

Hey, there's gola.

Hey!

Eliza, no waving!

[Chattering angrily]

Darwin: no, no, no, no!

[Continues chattering]

Think you can pick a fight with me, do you?

I'm sorry, I just wanted to say hi to gola.

She's my friend, mommy.

She should act like it then.

Well...

All right, you

I'll allow you to apologize.

Uh, well, what do I do?

Pick the dead skin and bugs from my hair, of course.

[Giggles]

No, really.

Ow! Not so hard!

And don't miss the big one

Crawling by my ear.

Oo, ugh.

Tour guide: if we're lucky we might spot a herd of forest elephants

Right around here, as they are known to...

Oh, um, pardon me, old man, but during the dry season

The elephants are perhaps more likely

To seek the juices of the tasty raffia palms

Adorning the western swamps.

It's quite yummy.

[People murmuring]

[Sighs]

Man...

Nigel, we came to relax, not give a lecture.

What? Oh, oh, yes, of course.

[Mumbling]

Uh... Yes.

Now, the crowned eagle, the majestic bird--

The plane of the animal kingdom, so to speak.

Stephanoaetus coronatus,yes.

[Murmuring excitedly]

Oh, well, if you insist.

And it's the only eagle species

Feathered all the way to its toes-- very cozy.

[Camera shutters clicking]

[Baby babbles]

[Sighs]

Well, nothing's going to stop me

From enjoying my day off.

[Crying]

[Yapping]

Ooh, I have never seen so many bugs on one head.

[Donnie babbling]

Eliza: hey, there's donnie.

Darwin: and there's tumbulu!

Eliza, no!

[Babbling]

Hi, donnie!

[Growling]

[Babbling]

[Growling]

You! You dare to barge in

On a group of males.

And you face me with no grunts, no signs...

[Yells]: no respect!

Sorry, i-i...

Silence!

[Chattering madly]

I'm really sorry.

It won't happen again.

I promise she'll behave.

She better or you'll be sorry.

Now, I don't want you to do anything else to anger me

Not one single thing.

[Smacking and kissing]

[Trembling]

Get out of here!

[Panting]

Sorry, I didn't mean to get you in trouble.

Boy, these guys are bossy.

That's why you've got to let me

Teach you chimp rules.

[Growling softly]

Now that we've covered...

[Hooting and grunting]

Let's move on to...

[Whines]

What's so funny?

Nothing, it's the signal for danger.

Weird.

Darwin, one thing I know how to do is talk to animals, okay?

Eliza, this is a lot more complicated

Than chatting with a turtle.

Chimps have ways of talking to each other

Without talking to each other.

Now, here's a move you can use

When meeting a superior.

Oh, well, how do I know who's a superior?

Oh, they're easy to spot.

They're everyone but you.

Now, do this.

[Chatters]

[Chatters]

Good, eliza!

I think you're beginning to get it!

[Dog barking]

Marianne, I've discovered a swarm of trigona bees.

Mm-hmm, that's nice, dear.

Not to worry, boodles.

The fascinating fellows are stingless.

They're only attracted to...

[Mumbling]

Sweat.

The camera-- quick.

Sorry, I'm on vacation.

We're not filming any animals.

[Burbling]

Ahh!

[Muttering]

[Grunts]

[Chattering]

Or should I say...

[Grunts]

Perfect, eliza!

[Grunting]

Excellent!

I think you're ready.

Better believe it!

Come on.

[Groans]

Here goes.

You'll do fine, I hope.

[Howling and screeching]

[Smacking lips]

Looks like she finally figured us out.

Okay... Okay, okay, okay.

[Whimpers]

[Growls]

[Jabbering]

No sweat!

[Screeching wildly]

[Grunts]

[Gasps, then sighs]

Well, what is it?

What did you see?

Where's the danger?

Danger?! Oh, did I say danger?

Uh... Well, I guess there isn't any.

[Giggles nervously]

Stupid! Stupid!!

Have you taught her nothing?

You failed to keep your promise.

Now it isyouwho will pay the price.

[Whimpers]

Hey, it's not his fault.

I worked my butt off to learn what he showed me

And I make one little mistake and look what happens.

You know what?

I'm sick of all your stupid old dumb rules!

Whoops.

That was bad, right?

[Growling crazily]

[Whimpering]

Get him!

[Chimps chattering madly]

I'm sorry, dar.

Are they going to punish you?

For starters.

[Chattering]

Run! Run!

[Chimps hooting]

[Both gasp]

[Hooting]

Darwin: good-bye, eliza, I'll miss you.

And tell debbie I really did kind of like her... A little.

[Crying out]

I'm not going to let this happen!

[Yells]: stop! You can't do this!

[Darwin crying out]

Leopard!

[Panting and hooting]

[Chimps murmuring]

No, really, this is it!

Danger! Danger!

[Collective gasp]

[Thud]

Come on, now's our chance.

You shake branches.

You throw rocks.

You scream.

[Hooting]

[Growls]

Wow, this is amazing!

Nowi get it!

[Screeching and growling]

Observe as the species comes together for the midday feeding

In close proximity to the local watering hole.

It's survival of the fittest

And competition for food is fierce.

This particular species enjoys a constant variety

In its daily diet.

That's the gourmet meal?!

Well, I could make that myself, and not as watery.

And what happened to the air conditioning, huh?

And the fancy bus and the luxury?

This is the worst day off I ever had.

[Sobs]: and it's theonlyday off I ever had.

[Crying]

Oh!

Nigel: adolescents of the species

Often find the feeding area

A springboard to new romance.

So, ned, don't you just loveteenage wasteland?

It's so us.

Uh, actually, I've never been there.

But would you excuse me, debbie?

I'd really love to find your father.

He's so cool.

[Groans]

They're gone.

We can escape.

After we get donnie.

[Both yelp]

[Growls]

[Babbling]

Wah! Hoo-hoo!

Yahoo, whee-hee!

Sorry it took me so long to catch on.

I see why the way you chimps do things

Kind of keeps everybody alive.

Yes, and some of us wouldn't be alive

If you hadn't properly alerted us to the leopard.

We are grateful.

You may leave in peace.

[Sighs]

Thanks, tumbulu.

Bye.

Let's go, donnie, dar.

Tumbulu: no so fast!

[Whimpers]

I want to say good-bye to the boy.

[Cooing]

[Kissing]

[Burbling]

Go...quicklybefore I change my mind.

[Panting]

Nigel [on tape]: it's survival of the fittest and competition for food is fierce.

This particular species enjoys

A constant variety in its daily diet.

Oh, it's so good to be back at work.

It's much more relaxing than that vacation.

Adolescents of the species often find the feeding area

A springboard to new romance.

Yeah, right!

[Babbling]

Hey, guys!

Hey, miss eliza-did-little

Thanks for leaving me with the dishes.

You owe me.

You're right, deb, and I'd like to start by apologizing.

[Grunting]

Huh? Oh, ech, ew!

You are such a freakazoid.

[Babbling joyfully]

Easy, guy, we have rules around here.

Well said, eliza.

It's not like we're a bunch of chimpanzees.

[Snickering]

[Sighs]

Marianne: this is the worst day off I ever had!