01x57 - The Uncrashable Hindentanic

[bunniefuu]

- Life is like a hurricane

- Here in Duckburg

- Racecars, lasers, airplanes

- it's a duck-blur

- Might solve a mystery

- Or rewrite history

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Every day they're out there making

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Tales of derring-do
Bad and good luck tales

- D-d-d-danger

- Watch behind you

- There's a stranger out to find you

- What to do?
Just grab on to some

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Every day they're out there making

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Tales of derring-do
Bad and good luck tales

- Ooh-woo-ooh
Not ponytails or cotton tails, no

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh -

I really got
the best of McDuck this time.

I sold him a yard full of old tires.

Would you believe he thinks
he'll make money on them?

Well, McDuck, I see you found a use
for one of those old tires.

That I did, Glomgold.

I don't suppose you
have any more tires to spare?

I've sold the first load
I got from you.

Huh?

Haven't you heard?
Every kid in the neighborhood owns one

of McDuck Enterprise's
Steel-Belted Swingers.

I'm making a fortune on
those old tires of yours.

Oh! Darn me argyles!

I'm telling you, Glomgold,
I can make money on anything.

Oh, yeah? I'll bet a million dollars
I got something you can't make money on.

Sorry, I'm a businessman,
not a gambling man.

What's the matter, McDuck? Afraid
to put your money where you beak is?

Me, afraid? Never.

Let's just say I'll invest
a million in your company if I lose.

And you'll invest a million
in my company when I win.

Easiest million dollars I'll ever make.

Good luck, sucker.

"The uncrashable Hindentanic"?

Suffering Scots,
I've got to make profit on that?

- What is it?
- A dirigible, Master Huey.

A digibible?

No, no, no. Dirigible.

A grand, old, lighter-than-air ship,

used to carry passengers
around the world.

You mean it's a big balloon?

Precisely, but I wager this one
will never fly again.

I'll show you and Glomgold.

I'll make this turkey fly, even if it
takes all the money in my money bin.

But, sir, turkeys can't fly either.

You want to wager
how close you are to being fired?

Oh, here goes one now.

Hello, Duckburg Daily News?

Scrooge McDuck here. I want to announce
the return of the Hindentanic.

Yes, I know turkeys can't fly!
Just print it.

"Uncrashable
Hindentanic makes comeback. "

Yeah, Madam. It's fast becoming
the event of the year.

Disaster film producer Irwin Mallard

will be a passenger
on the maiden flight.

Oh, Quacks!
I must be in Irwin Mallard's new movie.

I haven't made a film in 50 years.

If the Hindentanic can make a comeback,
so can I. I must buy a ticket.

With what, madam? Your checkbook
needs a comeback more than you do.

Don't worry. I'll get aboard.

After all,
I am the great Gloria Swansong.

"McDuck said a flight on the Hindentanic
will be like a trip back in history. "

Ha! Scrooge is full of
more hot air than that blimp will be.

He'll never make the Hindentanic fly.

Will he?

I christen this air ship
the Hindentanic.

Are you sure this is cheap champagne?

The cheapest, sir.

Look!

Hindenpanic?

Oh, dear. Who could've misspelled it?

- Who else?
- Now to dot the I's and I'm finished.

Uh-oh. I'm finished.

- Look, up in the sky!
- It's a bird.

- It's a plane!
- It's that idiot, McQuack.

Don't worry, I'm OK. I'll
still be able to pilot the Hindentanic.

You'll pilot nothing.
I won't let you near it.

Aw, come on, it's uncrashable.

Just the challenge
I've been looking for.

Forget it, Launchpad.
I'm renting a pilot from Temp Cap.

OK, have it your way, Mr. McD.

If that blimp leaves the ground and
I'm not at the wheel, you'll regret it.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,
but soon, for the rest of your life.

You're not going to crash it again, Sam.

Service, front and center.

Ready for takeoff, Uncle Scrooge.

OK, bellhops.
Let's get hoppin'.

Professor Karl Sargander.
Ah, the famous astronomer.

Director Irwin Mallard.
Welcome aboard, sir.

It's a pleasure.

What a relief it'll be to get away
from all those has-been actors

trying to get a part
in my next disaster movie.

Tickets, please.

Surely, you recognize me.
I'm a great movie star.

Oh, yes, Miss Gloria
Swansong. I saw all your pictures...

...as a child.

They didn't let me in
without a ticket, either. Next, please.

- Curses.
- Now what, madam?

I have an idea. Something I did in my


Listen...

"Help, help.
I must get to London by noon

so I can have my beak transplanted
before lunch. "

Oh, we'll get you to London in time
for your beak transplant, Mr. Wentworth.

If you need anything, just... holler.

Or whatever you do.

Put Mr. Rockefeller's honey bees
in a safe place, boys.

They're a gift for the Queen of England.

Ah, Mr. John D. Rockefeller.
A pleasure, sir.

I trust this will be
a safe trip for my cargo honey.

Of course, sir.
But don't call me "honey. "

All aboard! Five minute call!

- Any sign of the captain from Temp Cap?
- Sorry, sir. Not yet.

Captain Farley Foghorn from Temp Cap
at your service, sir.

You again?

Well, you always ask
for the cheapest that they have.

Yes, but what do you know
about dirigibles?

Only that they're very hard
to pronounce.

Hoist the main sail, mates!

Batten down the hatches!

I should never have made that wager.

He's got more air in his head
than this blimp.

Hey, ladies and germs,
I'm Burt Quackerack,

your crooner for this cruise.

So sit back,
relax and let me take you...

- Up, up and away
in my overgrown balloon

Excuse me. Will the film on this flight
be a Gloria Swansong classic?

Gracious, no. My detergent
makes better film than she does.

Quacks, go put Sheik Nurse of Baghdad
on the projector, now!

Hmm, of course, madam.

But the last time it was shown in
flight, the passengers walked out

somewhere over Kansas.

There's more than one way to win a bet:
The rotten way.

Mr. McD, this job is humiliating.

I've never had to stoop so low.

Well, stoop a little lower.
You missed something over there.

Your sheikness, we haven't met.
I'm Scrooge McDuck.

Sheik Ruten Tuten,
from the oil-rich state of Dallas Ababa.

Welcome aboard.

Mr. McDuck wants to see you
very much right away.

I can't. You see, I'm busy steering.

- Here, take it with you.
- Silly me.

Why didn't I think of that?

Let's see Scrooge get to London
without the propeller.

- What is it, Professor Sargander?
- A freak of nature, I'm afraid.

We're heading for a meteor shower.
Billions and billions of meteors.

Uh, you wanted to see me?

What are you doing?

Don't ever do that again! We're heading
straight into a meteor shower.

- Now turn this blimp!
- It can't be done!

The steering propeller's stuck.
We just took a turn for the worse.

- Hey, rain rocks keep falling
on my head

You've got to go out there
and fix the propeller.

Out there?

Hey, I work for Temp Cap.

It stands for "temporary captain. " Bye!

Oh, rats!
His parachute opened.

Who onboard is smart enough
to fix the propeller,

but stupid enough to go out there?

Fix the propeller? Sure, why not.

But first let me finish
sweeping up around here.

Sweep later!

I have been on rocky flights before,
but this is ridiculous.

These bees ought to cause enough chaos
to help me win that bet.

What's wrong?

What do you call a whole bunch of bees?

A pretty good report card?

No, bees, bees!
The buzzing kind!

- They're loose!
- Hold the door shut.

Keep them locked in!

Stewardess, I feel sick.

Oh, dear. Wait, I'll get help.

Nurse, Mr. Mallard
needs you desperately.

Quacks, did you hear that?
Irwin Mallard needs me!

This is my big chance.

Oh, nurse, you've gotta help.
I... I feel sick.

No, it's not the food. It's her!

I've never seen
such bad acting in my life.

- How did it go, madam?
- Shut up and take me to wardrobe.

I must get out
of this ridiculous uniform.

My million-dollar wager rests on whether
Launchpad can keep us flying.

I might as well throw in the kilt.

- Oh no! They got loose!
- How are we gonna catch 'em?

The Junior Woodchucks Guidebook
says to coax them into a beehive.

What's a beehive look like?

Like Mrs. Beakley's hairdo!

- My precious honey bees!
- Billions and billions of bees.

Great Scots! This is the Hindenpanic.

Hey, this soup came with a bill.

What'd you think, it was free?

Surely you don't expect me
to wear lace curtains and a lampshade.

Sorry, madam.
We neglected to board the luggage.

Well, what do you think?

You look like you've suffered
for your art, madam.

Now get out your umbrella.
I'm going to be acting up a storm.

- Uh-oh. Sting city!
- The bees found their hive. Look!

Somebody do something quick!

- Take this blimp to London.
- We're already going there.

Oh, then can I have a soda?

Come on, guys,


Uh-oh.

Better blow this thing back up.

On second thought,
maybe not.

Hey! I sound like Huey, Dewey and Louie.

Yow!

Good news, Mr. McD.
We're back on course.

And...

We missed the heavy-duty hail up ahead.

You're a lifesaver, Launchpad. I've
had enough catastrophes for one day.

Well, I'd love to save the next
catastrophe for tomorrow,

but I'm afraid...
it just can't wait.

Oh, no! Now what?

I hate to burst your bubble,
but I burst your balloon.

What?

Leave it to me to make the
uncrashable Hindentanic crashable.

I've got to find a pilot.
I'm desperate.

How desperate?

You've caused enough trouble already.

This trip is a disaster. I love it!

Can't you keep this dirigible level?

We need more rear ballasts, sir.

And I know just where to get some.

Mrs. Beakley, I need you
in the back of the ship.

But the passengers need me up front.

No buts. Right now, in the back.

McDuck, if we crash,
we're suing you for...

Billions and billions of dollars.

Duckworth, what did you do?
Have you flipped?

Obviously, sir.
Perhaps I should return to the galley.

Good idea.
And send some ballast up here.

Aye, aye, sir.

- What's happening, Quacks?
- We're crashing, madam.

But I'm too young to crash.

Think of this as the big fade out.

You wanted to see me, Mr. McDuck?

Yes. Crawl up that wall.

Uh-oh. Take us up. It's an iceberg!

Take us down.
It's another meteor shower.

Take us left. It's the swarm.

Unless we get more helium or lighten
the load, we're going to crash.

- We'd better unload excess weight.
- Oh, no.

You're not throwing me overboard.
I've been through enough.

No, no, no.
We'll throw the luggage overboard.

Wait, Uncle Scrooge. The Junior
Woodchuck Guidebook says that

the best way to keep a leaking blimp
afloat is to fill it with hot air.

Hot air?

Boys, perhaps it'd help very much
if you b*rned piano.

- Much wood, burn good.
- Good idea.

- Come on, sweetie,
hey, light my fire...

Blooming bagpipes!
We've set the the bag on fire.

It's hopeless.
I've lost the bet. I'm ruined.

I'll never gamble again.

See you at the bank, McDuck.

Marvelous. Simply marvelous.
Get my Oscar ready.

As long as we're going to crash,
we might as well crash with style.

- Go for it, Launchpad.
- You mean it?

I won't let you down, Mr. McD.

You better.
Why do you think I'm hiring you?

Steady there, Launchpad.
Only a little bit more to go.

You did it, Launchpad.
You saved us.

Abandon blimp!

Fantastic. Fantastic. Cut!

A million dollars in the drink.
Glomgold'll never let me live this down.

Count on that, McDuck.
Your investment in the Hindentanic

was a disaster.

It sure was.
I'm gonna make us rich, Mr. McDuck.

This is no time to joke, Mr. Mallard.

Who's joking? Thanks to you,
I got my next disaster picture.

It has everything: Swarm of bees,
a blazing inferno,

an iceberg, a meteor shower,
bad acting.

You've saved me a fortune,
so I'm cutting you in on it.

You'll make billions and billions
of dollars.

Ahoy, Mr. McDuckie!
All aboard for Duckburg!

Ah, it even has a happy ending.

Isn't it splendid, Quacks?
My fans love me again.

Congratulations, madam.

You have had more comebacks
than the boomerang.

I always did want to be an actor.
I didn't think I had the beak for it.

This ought to show Glomgold
I can make money on anything.

Even a disaster.