♪ Someone once told me th♪ On the other side. r ♪
♪ Well, I paid a visit
♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪
♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
♪Till further notice♪
♪ Till further notice
♪I'm in between♪
♪ I'm in between
♪From where I'm standing♪
♪ From where I'm standing
♪ My grass is green.
♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪
♪ On the other side.
[snorts]
WOMAN: And now on to the student selection
for this year's fellowship program.
From the scores of nominees, we've singled out finalists
five of whom will be offered the opportunity to study
at our prestigious institution.
Maurice, the portfolios, please.
Candidate number one...
Ginger!
Coming, Ma!
Ginger, I can not believe
you applied for that fellowship
without telling us.
Well, I'm sure I'm not going to get in.
Oh, but you guys, the campus is so cool.
It's up in the mountains,
and there are these elk, like, everywhere.
Elk can be incredibly hostile
especially during... mating season.
[laughing]
Oh, gross!
He's trying out
his new anti- hypothermia balm
made out of chicken fat.
Crafty.
Stop changing the subject, Ginger.
Let's say you did get into Avalanche Arts Academy,
then you'd be away from your friends and your family
for a whole entire semester!
Away from my family might not be such a bad thing.
Hold your applause;
I'm a modest man.
I can be modest.
[girls groaning]
Downright invigorating is what it is.
If I can convince the jury that my skin is frost-resistant
I'm a shoe-in.
What are you talking about?
The Weird Human Winter Fest, ah-duh!
It's going to be televised and everything.
I don't think you have to put on an act
to convince anyone that you're weird, Carl.
Nope, just have them call me for confirmation.
[telephone rings]
Needs jelly.
Hello, Carl.
Ms. Sussman, I presume.
Hurry it up, Carl, I mean it.
'Fraid I have to cut the call short--
the red hen squawks alone.
Ah, your sister.
Then, uh, see you in the doghouse after-schoolish.
Affirmative.
I'm giving you to three, Carl.
One, two...
Three.
And you wonder why you don't date more.
LOIS: What the heck are you kids doing?!
Don't answer.
Carl, pants!
Ginger, muffs.
Dodie, Macie, in the car.
She's going to stall if I leave her running without gas in her.
It's bitter cold, let's go!
What?
Nothing.
What?!
Nothing, nothing!
It's just that, well... no one wears them anymore.
Oh, fine!
Okay, so let's suppose you did get in,
would you definitely go?
I mean, what I'm asking is
are you really prepared to be away from us
for that long?
I'm not going to get in, Dodie, okay?
It's practically a non-issue.
Hey, Courtney.
Morning, Ginger.
Oh, darling earmuffs.
Thanks.
[grumbles]
What?Nothing.
What?!
Nothing, nothing!
Look, they just happened
to work on her, okay?
Okay...
Yoo-hoo, Ginger! Wait up!
[growls]
Every time I turn around,
there she is causing me discomfort.
Kind of like an ingrown toenail.
Exactly-- let's face it,
Foutley makes me sick
and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
What if I told you
there's already been something done about it?
CARL: Truth is, the hypothermia balm
didn't really work that well.
And even if it did,
I'm not sure it's weird enough
to get me into the Weird Human Winter Fest.
HOODSEY: Cheesecake pudding sounds kind of icky, but it actually isn't.
I've got to come up with
something really unique, truly weird.Want?
Hoodsey, can't you think about something
other than cheesecake pudding for a minute?
Well, I could say the same thing to you
about the Weird Human Winter Fest.
Look, why don't you just repeat one of the weirdo things
you've done in the past.
Go as wolfboy or something.
I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.
Originality is what separates me
from the rest of the hacks
and once you start ripping yourself off,
you're no better than...
Gentlemen... Hoodsey,
partaking in the cheesecake pudding, I see.
It sounds icky, but...
What do you want, Gripling?
We're busy pretending that you don't exist.
Oh, really?
Well, that task is about to become
infinitely harder, I'd say,
what with my pending debut on the telly.
Say what?
That's right, Foutley, the Weird Human Winter Fest.
No doubt you've heard of the venue?
You?! In the Weird Human Winter Fest?
How in the Big Guy's name would thateverhappen.
You're only, like,
the mostboring kid on the planet.
If Dullsville had a president,
you'd be mayor.
No, president.
Yeah, president.
Oh... you're entitled
to your opinions, I suppose,
but it just so happens
thatIhave a birthmark on my left buttock
much resembling Mother Teresa-- rest her soul.
Get out!
If you ask me,
it's downright... weird.
[chortles]
One-upped by a stupid mole on the hiney?
Oh, this can't be happening.
GINGER: Sometimes it's best to downplay things
that you know are only going to make other people upset.
So I'm not talking about it and they're not talking about it,
but we're all thinking about it, because the truth is
I'm dying to go to Avalanche Arts Academy.
It's as simple as that.
Ooh, it's, it's...
Taupe.
Gross.
I bet the drinking water...
Is nothing but sparkling clean
up at Avalanche Arts Academy.
Isn't that what you're going to say?
Dodie, I...
Well, isn't it?
No rust in their fountains, no sirree, Bob.
[feedback piercing over P.A. system]
WOMAN [over P.A.]: Good afternoon, student body.
I have just received some very exciting news.
One of our own students has been selected
for the prestigious Avalanche Arts Academy fellowship.
I'm sure it's not me; there's no way it's me.
Pack your bags, we'll miss you...
Ginger Foutley!
It's me?
You kind of knew
it was going to turn out that way.
Oh, that is great, Ginger, just great.
Bon voyage!
Gee-whiz, Ginger,
couldn't be happier for you, really.
Ditto.
This news is so fantastic.
I'm even thinking
of throwing a bon voyage party...
andinviting you.
Dodie! Dodie, wait!
I'd chase after her, too,
but my bronchial passages are already a tad constricted.
Suppose there's no harm in just making it a brisk walk.
[laughs nervously]
How is this possible?
How didsheget in?
Five kids in the entire country and they choose Ginger?
It doesn't add up.
It's not like she invented
a cure for the common cold or something.
This was a big year for Ginger.
Macie, stop.
I really expected
that my best friend wouldtryto be happy
if something great like this
actually happened to me.
But since that isn't the case,
the last thing I intend to do
is convince her I deserve it.
What I don't deserve is to be treated likethis,Dodie.
I don't.
Oh...
Miss you already, Ginger.
[softly]: Round and round and round they go.
Where they stop, nobody knows.
BOTH: Oh, my gosh!
[gasps]
Apologies...
one thousand apologies.
Carl, the tonsils.
She m*rder*d the tonsils!
I meant no harm.
Tell it to the fleshy mounds, baby.
Hoodsey... did you see that?
She was moving things around without using her hands.
Yeah, I saw it, Carl, but...
Do it again.
What a bug out.
Woman, you have Weird Human Winter Fest
written all over you.
And Gripling's derriere can't hold a candle to you!
[Carl hoots]
She's not happy for me, she doesn't want me to go
and she's acting like this whole thing was designed
to hurtherfeelings.
LOIS: Honey, Dodie's just worried
about her best friend being away for so long.
We're not talking about a summer session
at Camp Caprice here.
Such a change is bound to rattle the nerves a little.
Tell me about it.
But that's why I need her support.
I mean, my nerves are rattled, too.
Accepting that fellowship
would change my whole entire life.
But change could be good.
In fact, ever since I made the big change
from Lycra to cotton I've been far less irritable.
Uh...
In my room thinking it over if you need me.
Well, don't fill up on bread!
DODIE: I don't want to hold Ginger back.
Honest, I don't,
but this is like my worst nightmare totally coming true.
She's... she's my best friend.
[sobbing]
We're all best friends.
But Ginger won't be gone forever, Dodie.
Yeah, it's just one semester.
Just one semester?
Just one semester?!
Do you have any idea how much can happen
in just one semester?!
[Dodie whimpering]
My bangs could be totally grown out by then
just to put it into perspective.
Good grief.
Look, this is an awesome opportunity for Ginger,
and both of you should try behaving accordingly.
Ginger going away for a little while
isn't the end of the world, even if it feels like it, okay?
It's the end of the world-- run!
Cannibal from space, cannibal from space.
[people screaming]
[moaning in fear]
[munching]
Cannibal from space.
Giant cannibal from space.
Hey, Noelle, pass me my drink
using your telekinetic powers, would you?
[big sigh]
So cool.
[knock]
Would you get that, Noelle--
you know, using your telekinetic powers.
Telekinetic powers.
Telekinetic powers.
It's all you ever talk about anymore!
Noelle-- the door.
Whoof!
Stand back.
So cool!
NOELLE: I'm really angry.
See you later, Noelle.
Is she the greatest, or what?
Hmph! "Do not disturb."
We should put this on your sister's door.
I'm guessing it's too late for you.
Don't I know it.
You here to watch Giant Cannibal From Space?
It's the part where he demands to eat
the leader of our natural habitat.
As the leader of your natural habitat,
I just came by to tell you that it's time for dinner.
What are we having?
Human carnage-- what else?
GINGER: The strangest thing is when you finally get what you wish for
and then suddenly you're not sure if you want it anymore,
and then you don't know what to wish for.
But come on-- outdoor classes,
half of your day devoted to electives.
And the kids look really cool.
So you out of here, or what?
Currently?
Undecided.
Hmm, I see.
Well, I'm working on the girls, just in case.
Has Dodie mellowed out?
Not really.
But maybe when you board that bus.
You mean, if I board that bus.
No, Ginger.
I meanwhen you board that bus.
Because if there's one thing I've learned
living next door to you it's that you're destined
for things greater than Sheltered Shrubs.
Oh, Darren.
Don't forget me, Ginger, okay?
[sighs deeply]
I'm going.
[lively conversations]
[chickens clucking]
CARL: You nervous? Don't be.
I'm not, Carl.
Do you need a drink?
A mint?
A shoulder massage?
Um, no thanks, Carl.
Good, that's good.
Don't be intimidated.
I'm not intimidated, Carl!
Shouldn't be.
They ain't got nothing on you.
You sure about that mint?
[chickens cackling]
Is it me he loves,
or my telekinetic powers?
Your telekinetic powers, duh!
But so what?
Sir, perhaps you should rise
and trot about for a spell.
Wouldn't want any discoloration to set in.
No worries, Winston.
The hiney is in top condition, as always.
Of course, sir.
Higsby, not you, too.
You better believe it.
I'm working on something extra weird.
Did you see the turtle eater?
Talk about disturbing.
You're not Weird-Fest material, Higsby.
Why don't you pack it up and bring it home.
Not Weird-Fest material?
Perhaps you'd like a little preview
of my Ooga-Booga Dance.
[breathes deeply]
Ooga-Booga!
[giggles foolishly]
Don't tell anyone else what I've got worked up.
Okay? Promise. Promise?
No worries, Higsby.
Your secret is safe with me.
MIPSY: Tell Uncle Maurice the offer came through
and big thanks for doing your part, okay?
I transferred you the money
from my Bat-Mitzvah account as discussed.
Mipsy, wait.
What do you think it would take
to make Operation Transfer Girl a bit more permanent?
Permanent?
As in getting rid of Foutley forever.
Forever!
Miranda-- you just gave me a brilliant idea.
[crowd murmuring excitedly]
WINSTON: Step aside-- as you were.
[whispering]: Telekinetic girl.
Telekinetic girl.
Where are you?
Mole butt, mole butt.
Show me the mole butt!
He did it.
Yes!
Mr. Gripling did it.
We're in, we're in!
WINSTON: All hail, Teresa!
Ooga-Ooga Dance.
Am I on there?
Am I on there?
I just have to be on there.
Let me see.
There must be some mistake.
My mom said it was super weird and scary.
[hysterically]: Super weird and scary!
[sobbing]
Tough break, Higsby.
Aw.
Well, there is always next year, I suppose.
Is she in, is she in?
She's... in.
[all hooting]
And I guess I really am happy for you... sort of.
And?
And I take back what I said about
not knowing how in the world you got it.
Because?
Because you deserve it, Ginger.
And?
And I'm really sorry
I wasn't more supportive.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to miss you, too, Dodie.
A lot.
Just so you know.
BOTH: Oh.
So sweet it could turn me diabetic...
knock wood.
Excuse me, but why are you two girls
locked in a heartfelt embrace?
Oh, we're saying good-bye, Courtney.
I'm leaving tomorrow.
Didn't you hear the announcement?
I don't listen to the announcements, you know that.
Ginger has been accepted
into the Avalanche Arts Academy.
She'll be gone for a whole semester.
Oh, I don't like the sound of that one bit.
TEACHER: Sorry to interrupt.
Ginger, think you might be up
for performing a little farewell piece tomorrow?
Something to say good-bye to all your fans
before you disappear into the limelight.
Disappear?
She's joking... really.
You won't even know I'm gone
and I'll be back before you know it.
Courtney, your udon noodles are getting cold.
They're supposed to be cold.
Well, then they're getting warm.
Let's go!
Did you hear anything
about this Ginger Foutley going away business?
I think I did hear something about it.
Yes.
HOODSEY: "Each entrant..."
That's me.
"...will be allowed one traveling companion."
That's me.
What about me?
Keep reading.
"In addition, if the entrant
is under the age of ..."
And I am.
"...a chaperone will be required to attend."
That's you.
A chaperone? Oh, no.
No adult is going to agree
to take us to the Freak Fest.
Carl, I said that's him.
Didn't you hear me?
Hoodsey?
Your chaperone?
Give me a break.
Yeah, I get carded when I try and do PG-.
The boy is too young.
Ah, but with the help of stage makeup, a woolen vest,
and a pair of simple drywall stilts,
why, Hoodsey can become my chaperone.
My mom would freak.
I like the sound of it.
I like the way your mind works.
I like the way you like me, I have to admit.
Now, feed me the leader of your natural habitat.
Yoo-hoo, girls!
MACIE: Oh, what an unexpected delight.
Typically we don't do much socializing.
Yes, well... I just wanted to tell you
that I am positively miserable
about the idea of our Ginger going away.
Oh, me too, Courtney.
I know exactly how you feel.
In fact, I...
Please, Dodie, I'm emoting.
Carry on.
As I was saying,
I am positively miserable
about the idea of Ginger going away.
For some reason it reminds me
exactly of how I felt
when my favorite character was k*lled off
on the soap opera Loves of our Lives.
BOTH: Jocelyn.
The very same.
In any case, to help me cope
with the unforeseen trauma of this event
I'll need the help of you, Ginger's closest friends.
This is it, this is it!
I want you girls to spend as much time around me
as I can possibly tolerate, to help ease my suffering.
We'd be honored, Courtney.
So should we head over to your place?
Snacks and study group sound good?
Oh, don't be absurd.
Ginger's not gone yet.
Unbelievable.
It's like every...
Don't even have to say it.
I know what you're thinking.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Does it not?
Bunk with me tonight, huh?
Okay.
I'm not moving away forever,
so why does it feel like I am?
Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, I just say...
[honking]
Cool your jetski, Massabi-- be down in a minute!
Hey!
Guess I'd better get
some of these boxes down there.
Guess I better get ready for Miranda's party.
Take a couple of deep breaths, Ging.
Your stuff may be leaving tonight,
but you've still got a little more time.
[door squeaks]
GINGER: A little more time to talk to my mom,
a little more time to hang out with my friends,
a little more time before life as I know it grinds to a halt
and then... miraculously begins again.
[bedsprings squeak]
The hiney is in top condition, as always.
Of course, sir.
03x01 - Foutleys On Ice - Part 1
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series focuses on a junior high school (later high school) girl named Ginger Foutley who, with her friends, tries to become more than a social geek.
Series focuses on a junior high school (later high school) girl named Ginger Foutley who, with her friends, tries to become more than a social geek.