01x07 - The Brave Little Squire

[bunniefuu]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR: Once upon a time,
in a faraway land,

there was a lowly mouse,

who dreamed of being the greatest knight
in all the kingdom.

[FANFARE PLAYS]

Good citizens, today,
we honor Sir Mortimer.

Sir Mortimer's my own personal hero.

One day, I'm gonna be a knight
just like him.

CROWD: Shh!

For saving the kingdom
from the fearsome fire-breathing dragon,

I award you the Medal of Courage.

-[CROWD CHEERS]
-Booyah!

Yes, being a brave dragon-slaying knight
is a dangerous business.

Just ask my former squire.
He certainly couldn't stand the heat.

But his misfortune is your opportunity.

Who among you have the right stuff
to be my new squire?

[STAMMERS]

-I...
-Here. I'll be your squire.

No. I'll be your squire.

Pick me! Pick me!

[CHANTS] Mortimer! Mortimer!

Hmm.

Woo-hoo!

-[SNAPS]
-Perfect.

-[BOTH CRY]
-[MICKEY LAUGHS]

NARRATOR: And so, the young lad's dreams
seemed closer than ever.

One day,
I hope to be a great knight like you.

Brave and bold and chivalrous.

-You're so chivalrous!
-Yeah, whatever, kid.

Huh? Whoa!

-[TROLL GROWLS]
-[VILLAGERS SCREAM]

SIR MORTIMER: Looks like there's
some troll trouble ahead.

-Oh, my. He's a big fella.
-Your sword, My Lord.

Whoa, hey, wait, uh, pump the brakes, kid!

To be a knight, the first thing
you have to learn is, how to use strategy.

Knight lessons.

What we need is a distraction,
that would be you,

to get the troll's attention.
Then I'll swoop in and smite him.

So, do I get a w*apon?

Uh... Yeah. Uh, um...

Here. I bestow unto thee,
this, um, wooden spoon.

Wooden spoon?

-Distraction!
-[TROLL GROWLS]

Come and get me, you big meanie!

-Huh?
-[SHUDDERS]

-[TROLL GROWLS]
-Wow. No, no, no, no, no!

Ah. Oh, hey! Go away, tongue. [YELPS]

Whoa! [GRUNTS]

-Huh? [YELPS]
-[TROLL GROWLS]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

Oh, whoa! [YELPS]

Sir Mortimer has vanquished the beast!

[VILLAGERS CHEER]

NARRATOR:
Sir Mortimer had saved the day.

But the little squire was unsure
of what the knight had actually done.

[CLAMORING]

NARRATOR: Still, the kingdom
was filled with dangers,

and the knight's talents
were needed again.

You distract them
and I'll swoop in and save the day!

Okay. Uh...
You are gonna swoop in, though, right?

-On my honor as a knight.
-Then you can count on me.

Have at thee, foul fiends.

-[CRASHING]
-[MICKEY GRUNTING]

-Distraction, distraction, distraction!
-Ah!

[YELLING]

[YELLING GIBBERISH]

[SCREAMING]

Foul fiends,
Sir Mortimer has vanquished thee.

What the heck?

NARRATOR:
The more adventures they had,

the more the squire realized
that he did all the work,

while Sir Mortimer took all the credit.

Soon, the poor little squire
became disillusioned.

[CHUCKLES] Ye olde village noticeboard.

-[CRASHING]
-[CAT YOWLING]

Now, how should I spread my glory today?

Hm. An ogre? No. Giant? No.
Ooh, the plague's in town.

-Problem, pal?
-Yeah!

You're supposed to be the greatest knight
in the kingdom, honorable and brave,

but you don't actually do anything.

Look, kid,
squires like you are a dime a dozen.

You wanna be a knight like me,
then you suck it up and do as I say.

Well, if being a knight
means being like you...

then I don't wanna be a knight!

[BLUBBERS]

All I ever dreamt of was being a knight.
Goodbye, dream.

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

MICKEY: A dragon?

Queen Minnie. The kingdom!
They're in trouble!

So, I looked him straight in the eye
and then, I smite-ted him.

And yet, your armor's still shiny
and clean.

-Hm? A dragon!
-[CUP CRASHING]

Oh, thank goodness you're... here.

-Help! Sir Mortimer, your queen needs you!
-Gangway!

-Out of my way, squire.
-But you're a knight!

-You're supposed to protect the Queen!
-No, I'm a coward. And I don't wanna die.

[MICKEY GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

Charge!

[SQUAWKS]

Raise the drawbridge!

[SCREAMS]

[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[DINGS]

[GROWLS, GULPS]

[GROWLS, ROARS]

[WHEEZES]

[COUGHS, WHEEZES]

Oh, no. [WHIMPERS]

-[VILLAGERS CHEERING]
-And stay out! Sir Mortimer has...

-Hip, hip, hooray!
-Hip, hip, hooray!

[SMOOCHES]

NARRATOR: And so, the brave little squire
was knighted by Queen Minnie.

Mortimer was revealed
for the fraud he was.

And Mickey's dream came true,

as he became the greatest knight
that ever lived.

The end.

[MUSIC PLAYING]