06x04 - Papa's Big Romance

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: ♪ Set in my ways ♪

♪ Losing track of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to give more ♪

♪ Than I wanted to ♪

MAN: ♪ Spending my time just holding the line ♪

♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

BOTH: ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right in ♪

♪ Line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ It was you and me and ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

WEBSTER: Papa, look!

We're doing open-lasagna surgery.

Ooh! Looks good enough to eat.

Say, listen,

why don't the three of us go down

to the natural-history museum?

They got a new giant whale exhibit.

You can slide down the spout, come out the blowhole.

Papa, I got a soccer game today.

And if we win, we'll almost be in third place.

Oh.

Say, George, how about the two of us, huh?

Oh, I'd love to Pop, but I really can't.

I'm doing a big special today.

Oh, hi, Papa.

Oh, Katrina!

My goodness. How pretty you look!

[ Chuckles ]

Listen, you could talk a certain dashing Greek father-in-law

into taking you to lunch.

Or to a movie.

Or -- Or -- Or to the museum.

Oh, thank you, Papa.

I haven't had that nice an offer in ages.

But I can't.

I'm going to a lecture on reactive depression.

Wouldn't a movie be more fun?

A colorized version of "Casablanca" would be more fun,

but I have to go.

I just came in to get a snack.

There's some fresh apples in the bin.

Oh, yes. That's perfect.

No. Not perfect.

Apples are kind of noisy in a lecture hall.

Bananas.

Quiet, compact, and full of potassium.

Bye.

GEORGE: You okay, Pop?

Oh, fine, fine.

I just trying to make up my mind

between the mammal and the movie.

Oh, you should go see that new thriller -- "Action Goldman."

Oh, "Action Goldman," huh?

Well, we had real movie heroes in Greece --

Demetrius Adelphi.

He used to save the Acropolis at least once in every movie.

See you, guys.

Bye-bye, Papa.See you, Pop.

If the lecture is interesting, I might forget to eat,

and then I'd forget to take the banana out,

and the banana would get all brown and squishy,

and I'd get all green and squirmy,

and I might have to throw away my purse.

So, in other words, what I'm saying is

that this job calls for... raisins!

Yes.

If the lecture's boring,

you can always watch them dance in your purse.

[ Chuckles ]

Did Papa seem kind of down to you?

Well, he seemed a little disappointed

that I couldn't go to the museum with him.

Well, you know, to me,

he seems like he's a little lonesome.

Papa can't be lonely.

He's got us and lots of neat friends too.

Especially Mr. Pepitone.

You know, with the wrinkled toenails.

Oh, honey, Mr. Pepitone took his wrinkled toenails to Florida.

In fact, a lot of Papa's friends have moved to Florida.

That's just it. I think he needs to meet

some new friends.

Yes. And some female companions would be okay too.

Well, there are a lot of available women

over at the center.

I guess I'll have to put my Cupid's hat on

and see what I can do.

What's wrong with the raisins?

Well, the raisins may be quiet,

but after I eat them, I'm not.

[ Middle Eastern music playing ]

[ Chuckles ]

They look so funny.

No wonder they're dancing alone.

Very good! [ Laughs ]

Let the hip circle flow.

Flow, flow.

Less bump-and-grind, and more hip, hip, hip, hip.

Ooh, nice! Nice Turkish drop.

Ah! [ Laughs ]

Oh! Stay on that diet!

All right, everybody. Bye.

Good class. See you next week.

Very good.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, that's all for today, Mrs. Crane.

Oh. Sorry, Grace.

I became one with the music.

Uh, well, you guys go on. I'll catch up with you later.

Uh, hi. I'm Webster Long.

Well, hello, Webster. I'm Grace Barkley.

Oh, is that "Miss" or "Mrs." Barkley?

I like to call people by their right names.

It's "Ms."

Oh, well, is it more like Ms. Mrs. Barkley

or Ms. Miss Barkley?

It's Ms. Miss, but don't tell Gloria Steinem.

Miss.

That's great!

Oh, that's great.

Uh, well, it's great because it's the first time

I ever got to meet a real, live belly-dance teacher.

Well, thank you.

I saw you standing there.

Are you interested in learning how to belly dance?

Well, not now.

Maybe when I finish teaching my feet how to dance,

then I'll work on my belly.

[ Chuckles ] Well, it's a lot of fun.

Well, I'm already in woodworking class,

and that's about as much fun as I can stand.

But I know someone who might really love it.

Oh? Who's that?

My grandpa.

But, heh, he might not really have the time.

Oh, tell him to come and give it a try.

Once I get those hips to shaking, he'll find the time.

Well, Papa is very busy, you know?

He's a very popular guy.

His toenails aren't wrinkled,

so ladies keep calling to date him and do stuff.

Oh, "stuff," huh?

Well, not just stuff. Cool stuff!

Do you like cool stuff?

That's my favorite kind.

PAPA: Webster!

That's Papa.

I don't know how he found the time to come here.

Oh, there you are!

Papa, this is Miss Barkley.

Well, hello, Miss Barkley.

My name is George Papadapolis.

She's a belly teacher.

Oh, he means belly-dance teacher.

Oh, really?

I used to know a lady like that in Greece.

She was very good.

But I think it cost her the election.

[ Chuckles ] I have been to Greece twice.

I lost my heart both times.

You know what they say --

You go back a third time, you'll find it.

[ Laughs ] I don't know what I like most --

the people, the customs.

Oh, and the food!

The food? You like Greek food?

I know the best place in Chicago.

After the second course, you already see pillars.

Can I consider that an invitation?

[ Chuckles ]

I insist.

Am I good or what?

[ Middle Eastern music playing ]

Ooh!

Ho ho ho!

[ Music stops ]

Oh, man. That was so much fun!

That was great, everybody. That was wonderful.

And very good for the waistline.

I thought you didn't go in for belly dancing.

Well, not around my friends,

but Ma'am and George never laugh at me,

even with good reason.

Oh, we laugh at you, Webster,

but only when you're sleeping.

Well, next time I go to sleep, I'm gonna keep one ear open.

PAPA: Aha!

Oh, and that reminds me.

Don't you think that it's past one of our bedtimes?

Well, I'm history.

[ Laughter ]

Good night, baklava.

Oh, listen...

If we leave right now, we can make an early movie.

Oh, he means if we hurry, we can get there minutes early.

Well, you know what I always say --

Punctuality is a good quality.

Oh, it was wonderful meeting you.

Thank you so much.

Good night.See you soon.

Well, should we go to see a show

with a better movie or a better popcorn?

I couldn't eat another thing.

Me neither.

Better show.Show. Mwah!

[ Laughs ]

Good night.

You know what? He looks years younger.

Oh, they are so cute together.

What a nice couple.

Oh, it just gives me goose bumps.

Oh, I thought jewelry gave you goose bumps.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Knock on door ]

Papa?

Georgie.

What are you...?

Hello.

What happened? Didn't you pay your rent?

Oh, heh, I was, uh, just passing by.

Oh.

How are you? I'm fine.

Oh, you look fine. [ Chuckles ]

Very nice.

New bathrobe?Old.

Oh.

Uh...

George...

You know your mother was the most precious thing in my world.

Strange, all the little things

that I still miss after all these years.

How we used to make up a song and sing it just for ourselves.

She used to make moussaka.

After we finish,

she used to comb the crumbs out of my moustache.

[ Chuckles ]

Ah, she was a very frugal woman, your mother.

I think she used to save the crumbs

and cook with them after we were done.

I remember when you used to hold hands, you two.

You were very happy.

Yeah.

We were very happy.

You know, George,

no one could ever replace your mother, not ever.

But since I meet Grace,

well...

Well, she's wonderful.

You think so? Yeah.

Because I think I'm falling in love with her.

[ Laughs ]

Papa, Papa, that's great.

Congratulations. Oh, yeah?

Oh, yes.

I think I'm going to ask her to marry me.

Great! That's good, Papa.

Oh, if I have your blessing,

then the rest of the family will be okay.

We need a belly dancer in the family.

Oh, George!

[ Laughing ]

I don't know after which session it was

they started to subside,

but I realized the headaches are coming much less frequently.

Yeah? Oh, thank you.

I think it was about the time

you started talking about the guilt you felt

after your first, third, fifth, and seventh child.

Just talking about it, you know, makes you feel better.

Yes. Mm.

I guess I should start on the even-numbered kids next time.

It's progress.

Katherine! Hello.

Oh, hi. How are you?

Oh, are we still on for lunch Saturday?

Absolutely. Enrique's, downtown.

Oh, Grace Barkley, this is Janet Stephenson.

Oh, nice meeting you.

Well, I'll see you.Okay. Bye!

Oh, Katherine, this really is none of my business,

but, uh, do you know her well?

No, actually. We've just met.

She's dating my father-in-law.

It's getting kind of serious. Serious and adorable.

Um...could we go to your office and talk?

It's important.

Really? Is there something wrong?

I'm afraid there might be.

[ Soft string music playing ]

Delicious.

[ Sighs ]

Hi, George.

Well, darling, I'm glad the season's almost over.

Hi, honey.

I'm all hockeyed out.

Oh. George...

[ Music stops ]

We have a problem.

I heard some really unflattering things about Grace today.

Like what?

Apparently, she has a history

of getting involved with older men

and persuading them to take her on expensive vacations.

Who told you that?

One of my patients.

Apparently Grace seduced her father-in-law

and got him to take her to Rio.

And he wasn't the only one.

Gee.

But what does that have to do with Papa?

He doesn't have any money. He's not a high roller.

Boy, is he gonna be disappointed.

[ Middle Eastern music playing ]There we go!

Now...

A little back like this.

And give it the hips.

Whoo. Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo.

Very good! Very good!

Oh! Well, that is all for today.

That was terrific.

See you next week, everybody!

And remember -- A healthy belly is a shaking belly.

[ Laughs ]

See you.

E-Excuse me, Grace.

I can't seem to stop.

Oh, you're stuck in gear, huh?

Well, we'll just put you into neutral.

Thank you. [ Chuckles ]

It's been so strange ever since I got this plastic hip.

Oh.

Hi, Miss Barkley.

Well, hello, Webster.

You sneak by for a little extracurricular?

Oh, no. Um...

Well, I made this in my woodwork class,

and I wanted you to have it.

Oh, a pencil holder! How lovely.

Well, it's only sort of lovely.

I goofed and made the bottom too high,

so it's only good for used-up pencils.

Oh. Well, those are the best kind.

[ Chuckles ] Well, to what do I owe this honor?

Well, it's just sort of my and George's and Ma'am's way

of saying thank you for going out with Papa

in spite of, you know, everything.

In spite of everything?

W-Why? Is your grandfather ill?

Oh, no, no. He's fine.

It's his bank account. It d*ed.

What?

Yeah.

He lost all his money last week.

Stock market.

KATHERINE: Crushing the old pecans, huh?

You're really dreading this talk with Papa.

A lot.[ Doorbell rings ]

Ah-ah.That must be he.[ Gasps ]

Now, do you want me to go in there with you?

[ Sighs ] No, no, no.

He'll just think we're ganging up on him.

Well, I'm here if you need me.

Ooh, the Freudian symbolism of this is overwhelming.

[ Shouting in Greek ]

Sick and tired of it.

You realize what she's doing to me?!

I can't stand! I tell her to go --

Hello, family.

Hi, Papa.WEBSTER: Hi, Papa.

Grace insults me.

She tries to take away my dignity.

And then she tries to explain it

by some kind of little arithmetic.

Well, she can't do that.

George Papadapolis don't take money from no woman to live on.

No woman can offer George Papadapolis money,

even if he is broke!

Uh, why in the world would she offer you money?

I didn't stay around long enough to find out.

Wait a minute. Freeze.

Do you know anything about this?

[ Sighs ]

I told Grace that Papa was broke.

Baklava, why you do that?!

Because I heard George and Ma'am talking about Grace,

and I didn't want you to lose all your money.

KATHERINE: He's telling the truth.

We did hear some very unpleasant things about Grace.

Yeah, that's the reason why I wanted to talk to you, you know?

'Cause we heard that she was a gold digger.

We didn't want you to be hurt.

Oh, boy.

Oh, no.

You see, that's really old news.

She told me all about that on our second date.

One of those guys left her in Morocco.

She had to work her way home.

But she's completely changed.

She has a good job, she supports herself,

and the only time that she has even done

any gold digging lately

is when I dropped a filling from my tooth

down in between the cushions.

Well, we made kind of a mess of it, haven't we?

We made a mess of a problem that didn't even exist.

I feel awful.

I feel awfuller.

But I feel wonderful.

You see, my family loves me enough

that they don't want me to be hurt.

See, you made a mess,

but you did it for all the right reasons.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, thank you, Katrina.

Baklava.

[ Smooches ] Thank you.

George, for you, would have been the hardest.

Oh, no. It wouldn't have been.

Oh, yeah.

Your voice would have cracked,

you would have gotten tears in your eyes,

and then we would have to have a good cry.

Well, we do give good cry.

[ Chuckling ]

If tears were money,

they would call us the weepy Rockefellers, huh?

But thank you, George!

Man, I love happy endings.

[ Laughter ]

What happy ending?

What happy ending? What about Grace?

Oh, boy.

I was going to ask her to marry me.

But now, after I told her what to do with her arithmetic,

I don't know if she will even speak to me again.

Well, I don't know what you told her about your arithmetic,

but I'm sure you can explain yourself to her.

What about you, Katrina?

You're a woman. What do you think?

Well, uh, she tried to help you,

and she offered you money, so she has changed and...

You like each other,

so why don't you just take things a little more slowly

and get to know each other and then see what happens?

[ Doorbell rings ]

You know, that's very good advice.

Very good advice.

Oh, George, I am sorry, but I just had to come.

I -- Georgie.

Gracie! I'll explain later.

First, I apologize with a big hug.

Huh? Ohh.

[ Chuckles ]

Now, Ma'am?

Go for it.

I love happy endings!

[ Theme song plays ]