05x01 - San Francisco: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: ♪ Set in my ways ♪

♪ Losing track of the days ♪

MAN: ♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

KATHERINE: Mr. Kimball? Would you come down, please?

Now, see, the color that I ordered for the bathroom

was a subtle mauve.

This -- This...is magenta.

Magenta? Yes.

[ Chuckles ] You call this magenta?

I was raised with a color chart in my crib.

I know my hues.

Trust me, Mrs. P.

When it dries, you'll have your mauve.

Trust me, Mr. K.

It is already dried, and it is magenta.

[ Door closes ]

This is fantastic!

This is great. This is really great.

[ Gasps ]

Oh, but, darling, please...

please tell me this isn't our new carpet.

[ Chuckles ]

Carp-- Our new carp --

Boy, redecorating sure is stressful.

George? Yes?

I want to ask you something, please.

What color is this?

Purple.

A born diplomat.

I love that color, Katherine. Don't you love that color?

We don't love that color.

Okay. Okay.

I'll mix some beige and tone it down a little.

Thank you very much.

Oh, and don't put up a single piece of tile

until I can check your grout.

Sweetheart, come here.

You're getting so stressed out here.

You got to relax. What do you mean, relax?!

Who can relax?

We have a carpenter that's working in slow motion,

a plumber that has a -- a Vanna White tattoo on his arm,

and our bathroom is currently the color of a bordello!

You need this.

Now, blow out the bad air, come on with the good air.

Come on. Come on. What are you...

It smells of paint in here.

Darling -- Darling, won't you reconsider

and come with Web and I to Disney World this weekend?

Come on. Papa can supervise all these workmen.

I couldn't leave that kind of responsibility to someone else.

I mean, think of all these little details,

all these little decisions that have to be made.

Oh, yes? Really? Is that what really --

Or is that you're scared of those rides still?

[ Sighs ] Well, yes.

I-I admit that I get queasy in -- in a swivel chair.

Darling, you don't have to go on those rides.

Remember, Mickey Mouse never, never held a g*n on anybody.

Check it out, guys.

This dude isn't losing any more change on Space Mountain!

Very resourceful.

You know, last time, I lost a whole week's allowance.

I think it was that -- that big drop at the beginning.

Or maybe when it was whipping around all the corners!

Maybe... Maybe it was that big loop,

where you go 'round and 'round and 'round and scream!

[ Screams ]

GEORGE: [ Chuckles ] That's great.

Come on. I'll take you down to the community center.

All right. You all right, darling?

Oh, uh, I'm fine. I'm perfect.

I just won't operate any heavy machinery for a while.

[ Saxophone playing "When the Saints Go Marching In" ]

[ Kazoos playing ]

[ Vocalizing ]

[ Music continues ]

Oh, yeah!

All right!

You're smokin', man. You're really smokin'.

Why, thanks a lot, Webster.

You're starting to make that kazoo talk yourself.

Oh, yeah! [ Laughs ]

Would somebody turn down the heat?

'Cause "Hot Lips" Long is starting to steam!

Hey, what do you say, Henry? Let's do another one.

How about the Beastie Boys?

A what-sie boys?

Come on. You know the Beastie Boys.

Okay, okay.

It's time for Henry to go back to work.

Got to finish tuning the ivories.

[ Chuckles ] But you guys were great today.

You were really sharp!

No kidding! Keep practicing!

WEBSTER: Thanks. [ Chuckles ]

Oh! Yes indeed! Now, that's very nice indeed.

You been practicing?

That's good!

Very good.

Whew!

[ Note playing ]

Can I help? Oh, sure.

Just sit right up here...

and hit this note right there.

[ Note playing ]

How was that?

Lovely, lovely.

Say, did you ever think of hiring an assistant?

I work really cheap.

Now, that's darn tootin', but this is my last visit.

I'm moving to Miami, uh, in a few days

to live with my daughter Grace.

Why? Is she really lonesome or something?

[ Chuckles ]

Truth is, at my age,

you need somebody to look after you, you know?

Uh, would you mind hitting that next key?

[ Note playing ] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, son.

This is a piano, not a telegraph.

Just try tapping it just once.

[ Note plays ]

Ahh.

Wow. Florida.

That means you can go to Disney World any time you wanted to.

I suppose.

Well, you don't look too excited.

I mean, you might really like Country Bear Jamboree.

I guess it's great,

but I hate to impose on my daughter Grace, you know?

Plus, it means giving up on a few things.

Like what?

Oh, nothing, really.

Just a dream I once had.

About what?

Well...

about going back to San Francisco.

For what?

"But what for? What like?"

You ask more questions than a Philadelphia lawyer!

See, I used to play with the hottest group in San Francisco

back in the 's -- Golden Gate Quintet.

Then why'd you quit?

We were making lots of music, but no money.

I had a family to support.

Move over there, maestro. One more time.

[ Note plays ]

Ah! Sounds brand new.

[ Chuckles ]

So, what about the group?

Are they still in San Francisco?

Last I heard.

Now they're called the Golden Gate Quartet.

I dream about playing with them just one more time.

Then why don't you go back, just like in a dream?

A man can't catch his dream any time he wants it, Webster.

At my age, I'm lucky enough to catch my breath.

[ Both chuckle ]

No.

Too old and tired to go around that city looking for them.

What if you had someone young and awake to go with you?

Sure. Whitney Houston!

[ Both laugh ]

Well, sweetheart, the kitchen looks great.

And I love the fruit clusters.

It's -- It's got a real nice theme.

If I hadn't been here, you'd be looking at cowboys and cacti.

Oh, I'm getting so tired, I can't tell the difference

between a Laura Ashley and a piece of denim.

Mm, darling, you do look tired.

[ Sighs ]

Well, you know there's a psychological name.

You know what I mean -- when your focus is so split,

you can't concentrate on anything?

What's that?

What's what?

[ Door opens ] Web?

Hello, George.

Hello, Ma'am. Hi, honey.

Whoa!

What an excellent choice of wallpaper.

You want some pizza?

Oh, why, thank you, George. I'd love some.

Ah, pepperoni!

Another excellent choice.

Is there something wrong, champ?

No, but thank you very much for asking.

Yep, Disney World is gonna be great --

Matterhorn, Space Mountain.

Of course, when you come to think of it,

it's no San Francisco.

No. You're safe there.

Disney World is a bunch of silly rides.

San Francisco, on the other hand,

well, it has the Golden Gate Bridge,

the cable cars, hills, and the...

Wind?

Right.

Not like this puny Chicago wind, either.

We're talking major league.

You're right, and speaking of major-league winds,

where's all this hot air coming from?

If you've got something to tell us, we're all ears.

Right, Katherine?

[ Snoring ]

At least I'm all ears.

So, this Henry Harris, he works down at the Community Center?

Mm-hmm. He works with the kids and the seniors.

Music.

I got to know him quite well. He's a very sweet man.

Let me see if I have this straight.

You would give up our trip to Disney World for San Francisco?

Sure, so Henry can play with the Golden Gate Quartet

one more time.

The Golden Gate Quartet?

Yeah. That's his old group.

You know what?

I think -- I think I have an album of his somewhere.

You do? Henry's?

Yes. Yes. Our Henry?

Our Henry down at the center recorded an album?

Why didn't I know this?

Because it's jazz, darling --

music of the streets and the back alleys.

I know the music of the back alleys, George.

I saw "Cats."

Look at this -- Golden Gate Quintet.

Oh! There's Henry with his sax.

That must have been when he was a quint,

before they became a quart.

And look who's featured --

"Tenor Saxophone -- 'Sweet Lips' Harris."

"Sweet Lips."

Boy, I used to love to go down and listen to those people.

You want to hear the record?

Yeah. Put it on.

Yeah. Sure, George.

Uh, does that mean

we get to go to San Francisco a-and take him?

Please? Please? Can we? Can we?

Well, I think we should have a family vote.

Wait a minute. What do you mean, "we"?

One, two, three. We.

Well...I mean, it's not mouse ears and snow cones.

I mean, we're talking theater and opera and music.

And San Francisco's also the antique center

of the Pacific Rim.

It might be kind of fun looking for a few pieces for the house.

Yeah! So does that mean we're going?

I love California. You can count me in.

All right!

You know, I-I think I feel one coming!

It's grabbing my feet. I can't hold it back!

Silly dance! Silly dance!Silly dance!

[ Bell chiming ]

Get out of there.

[ Laughs ]

[ Bell chiming ]

Wow!

Free postcards -- and a pen!

I can see why this place is expensive.

And that's the last of it.

Nice rooms, huh? Yes, they are, sir.

The Altmont is one of San Francisco's finest hotels.

Established by the Spaniards in the th century,

the City by the Bay prides itself in offering

every possible cultural advantage.

As can be seen from this very window,

you have your museums, your gourmet restaurants,

your topless night clubs.

Okay.

Well, I know you're a real busy person,

so thank you very much.

Well, thank you, sir.

And to get your closed circuit adult movies,

simply take the remote and put the TV on --

It's a great city, isn't it, champ?

I don't know. I can't see anything.

That's the great thing about San Francisco.

You don't have to see it to appreciate it.

Gee, George.

I give up my trip to Disney World.

I would at least like to see what I gave it up for.

I know, but don't worry about it.

Later on, I got a real great surprise ride for you.

Really?! What? What?

I can't tell you what it is,

but it makes Space Mountain look like a piggyback ride!

Awesome!

Well, I found Fingers' number in the book.

Well, uh, who's Fingers?

Sid. Clarinet player.

Trouble is, there's no answer.

And, uh, nobody else is listed.

Okay, gentlemen.

What's first on the agenda today?

Fisherman's Wharf? Chinatown? Coit Tower?

Well, I kind of thought that we'd go down to the Blue Note,

right, Henry?

Yeah. The Blue Note.

The Blue Note.

The Blue Note. Pretty exciting, huh?

Yeah, very exciting.

Do you know what we're talking about?

No. [ Chuckles ]

We're talking about this little jazz club

we used to play down on Broadway.

Yeah. We used to hang out there when we played the ers.

Let's go!

All right!

Ma'am, we can take two elevators and have a race!

Yeah, we could, but we're only on the third floor.

[ Bell chiming ]

This is neat!

Hey, George, is this the ride you promised?

No. This is peanuts compared to my surprise.

Really?

I love this town.

[ Bell chiming ]

Can we move here?

KATHERINE: No way.

You've got "skateboard" written all over your face.

HENRY: Beautiful place, huh, Webster?

You said it, Henry.

You sure you wouldn't rather go antiquing, darling?

Oh, there's plenty of time for that.

I'm enjoying seeing the sights of this beautiful city

with my family.

Oh, my God.

What's wrong? George, look.

Look at that chair right there in front of the antique dealer.

Wouldn't that be perfect in the upstairs hall?!

[ Bell chiming ] Darling?

[ Gasps ] Oh, George. I got to have that chair.

What am I talking about? It probably costs a fortune.

Sweetheart?

Maybe I could negotiate with the owner

Katherine!

George?

We'll see you at Pier at :!

Okay!

[ Sighs ]

Sometimes fate lends a helping hand.

GEORGE: The Blue Note.

Boy, does this bring back memories.

HENRY: Mm. You just said it, my man.

[ Chuckles ]

Same old door, same old Blue Note,

same old marquee.

Different music.

Blue grass.

Blue grass? Aww.

What's blue grass?

Oh, it's twangy music played with fiddles and banjos.

Washboards and jugs.

I can't believe what's happened to this place.

Save your knuckles. The place is deserted.

No surprise, the kind of music they're playing.

Well, come on. There's some other clubs down the street.

Hey, George! George!

Look at all the girls in the news today!

Hey, George. Hold up.

You know a trumpet player around here?

Yeah. Ozzie Terrell?

Well, maybe I don't know.

See if this will help you remember.

Okay? I don't know.

Aww, I thought I was too old to be had.

[ Grumbles ]

[ Chuckles ]

This place is called the Hungry I.

It's one of San Francisco's real landmarks.

It's an old jazz club -- sort of.

WEBSTER: There's a girl in my class named Lolita.

I don't think it's her.

Cab!

HENRY: Man, this town sure has changed.

It's hard to keep up.

See that little place over there?

WEBSTER: Yeah. Al's Deli.

What did it used to be?

Saul's Deli.

Gee, this street sure does bring back memories.

Sure does.

We drove through here half an hour ago.

Man, we must have looked at clubs and no quartet.

Well, there must be a hundred more at North Beach.

Wow! I might not ever get back to school.

Hey, I just thought of something.

Don't they have earthquakes here in San Francisco?

Don't worry. The last big one was in .

GEORGE: Of course, that one pretty much flattened the city.

Looks like we're back to square one.

Don't worry, Henry.

George and I once looked for days for my turtle.

I'm afraid this is a little tougher than turtles.

Sorry, fellas.

I'm getting a bad feeling

I dragged you halfway across the country for nothing.

Next on Webster...

This trip was so that he could play.

Why did Henry change his mind?

Maybe he got scared.

Think he'll play tonight?

I hope so, but just in case let's go out and see if we can find him.

Well I told you, Mr. Harris is missing.

But his money is right here because

he gave it to me to put in the hotel...safe.

What have you done with my father?

You have the right to remind silent. What are you doing?

- If you give up the right to remain silent...

I don't like this.

- Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to speak with an attorney-

[ Theme song plays ]