04x04 - A Run for the Money

[bunniefuu]

Men like George don't think I can sew.

Well, I'll show them.

There.

Whee!

Yep.

WOMAN: ♪ Set in my ways ♪

♪ Losing track of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to give more ♪

♪ Than I wanted to ♪

MAN: ♪ Spending my time just holding the line ♪

♪ Never gettin' caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

BOTH: ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without takin' a look ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right in ♪

♪ Line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ It was you and me and ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

[ Beep ]

Cute message, Jerry. Cute message.

Your Bogart's good. Your Pee
-Wee Herman needs work.

I'm calling to find out where you and Webster are

because you're about half an hour
-
-

[ Beep ]

...late.

Katherine...

mission accomplished.

And as organizer of the K Twilight Run,

you have the privilege of previewing

what the well
-dressed runner will be wearing.

Oh.

Our man on the run, Webster Long,

is sporting a Dr. Woo K headband,

guaranteed to fit the most muscular of heads.

And of course, no run would be complete

without the classic Dr. Woo t
-shirt

and the chic Dr. Woo wristbands, the very latest in Woo
-wear.

This stuff is so neat I wouldn't even want to sweat on it.

[ Chuckles ] Well, thank you.

I think this K's really coming together so well.

We deserve a pat on the back.

Absolutely.

You know, Katherine, with any luck,

this fundraiser will keep the Community Center

and all your social services going for a very long time.

And... [ Telephone rings ]

...old Mrs. Jones won't get thrown out in the park,

and Frankie DeLisle won't get thrown out on the street

so he can mug old Mrs. Jones.

Hello?

What?!

Would you say that again?

No. No, no. No, no. Don't say it again.


- Hi, g*ng.
- This is awful.

Well, I could leave.

No, that was the Community Center.

Oh, George, this is awful!

Dr. Woo just ran off with his nurse.

That's great. Maybe he's practicing for the race.

No, honey, not that kind of running.

They were heading for Vegas, not a finish line.

Is that such a big deal?

Well, it is to Mrs. Woo and three children!

We're talking scandal here.

Now I can't use his name in the K.

Oh, dear.

Why do you have to use his name?

[ Sighs ] Because of the book, honey.

He wrote this great book, "Wunning with Roo".

I mean "Running..." Trust me, it was a best
-seller.

And now Dr. Woo is running away


- with whoo
-whoo
-whoo.
- Whoo
-whoo
-whoo
-whoo! [ Laughs ]

I
-I'm not helping, am I?

So, I guess we need another, uh, famous celebrity.

Yeah, we got to try to get a celebrity named Woo

'cause we got all this stuff with his name on it.

Well, I can go after the big

tennis star John McEnwoo. [McEnroe]

There's
-
- There's got to be someone.

Well, sweetheart, I think you're on the right track.

You know, it's always good to name an athletic event

after a great, great athlete.

Maybe the...

The Fridge.

Or Papadapolis. Who?

Me. Me.

Oh, George!

I'm sorry, honey. I never think of you as a celebrity.


- I think of you as a husband.
- Mm
-hmm.

Except...upstairs. [ Chuckles ]

Everyone knows George. Remember that lady in the store

who wanted George to autograph her grapefruit?

"Papadapolis" on a wristband?

Now, look. I am the merchandising manager.

I am not a miracle worker.

Well, you could put "Papa" on one side

and "dapolis" on the other.

If you would lend your name,

I think it would be a big success.

Will you do it?

Well, this may come as a big surprise to you all, but yes!

Oh, yay! Yes!

Wh
-wh
-wh
-whoo!

[ Clicking tongue ]

So, this is the beginning of the race,

and this is the end of the race,

and this is the plot that I've worked out.

See
-
- down past Foster Avenue Beach,

[ Clicking continues ] Lincoln Park,

park area at the Community Center,

the bird sanctuary...

[ Murmurs indistinctly ]

Do you disagree,

or is there something stuck between your teeth?

No. No. I
-it's just that I think you should send

them past the arboretum. I mean, the foliage there

would be so much more calming, especially at twilight.

Calming it is.

Then we will go north on Clark Street up here.

[ Clicking tongue ]

Look, the dogs there think that pit bulls are lunch.

Ma'am, Jerry, George, and I made a mess of money.

Yeah, we went and saw some of my old football buddies,

and we sure came up with a lot of pledges.

Well, let's hear it for the football buddies.

All right! [ Chuckles ]

Yeah. Now we can get everything that we need

for the Community Center.

Ooh, can we get a new foosball game?

Ooh, it was top of my list. [ Chuckles ]

George, you raised over $, worth of pledges.

That's $, a kilometer
-
- more than $, a kilometer.

And there's only one stipulation.

Oh, no. Honey
-
- I mean, this is great.

But I can't let you do this run on your poor, old, bad knees.

And that's what I told them. I said that you would do the run

on [span tts:fontStyle="italic"]your...[/span]knees. [ Chuckles ]

Me?

Me, run?!

Uh, kilometers, . miles?

Yes, yes!

[ Chuckling ] Oh, well, I mean, I can't remember when I ran...

actually, I've never even [span tts:fontStyle="italic"] walked[/span]that far.

Well, just pretend that you're in a shopping mall,

and you can't find your car.

After all, it is $,.

Yeah, we can get a foosball game with real fooses.

$,?

I'll run.

I'll walk.

I'll crawl if I have to. [ Both chuckle ]

Oh, Katherine, you can do it

if you start training now and work up to it.

Yeah, and I can help you train.

I won the th Grade spoon race. And I didn't drop the egg once.

That makes him more qualified than most coaches I know.

Well, if all you have to do is finish...

then I'm willing to give it a try.

GEORGE: Hear, hear. KLAUSEN: Great.

Now, look at me.

Okay.

Closer.

Now you've got it.

Got what?

The eye of the tiger.

[ Growls ]

[ Upbeat music playing ]

[ Whistle blows ]

GEORGE: Oh, yes, Frankie. I'll
-
- I'll tell her.

Nice chatting with you, too...dude.

That was Frankie DeLisle.

He wants you to name the K after his street g*ng.

The Sons of Destruction K. Snappy.

So, how are my, uh, North Side streakers?

Wet and wild!

We must have run miles.

I ran .

I figure I took twice as many steps as you did.

I know someone who needs a long, hot bath.

Yeah
-
- that fat lady that was running behind us.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It is someone that we all know and love.

I can take a hint.

You know, I'm gonna get my harmonica.

I just love the way it makes bubbles underwater.

I don't think I've ever been so exhausted or felt so great.

Sweetheart, I'm very proud of you.

Well, thank you.

I think I am going to toast myself with a protein drink.

Ohh.

[ Mutters indistinctly ]

And a little yog
-
-

[ Screaming, whimpering ]

GEORGE: What happened?

Nothing. I was att*cked by a can of k*ller tomato juice. Oh!

That's why I always drink apple juice, darling.

It never turns on you. [ Continues whimpering ]

Are you gonna be okay?

Oh, I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine.

Think you can love a woman with a purple toe?

As long as it's attached to your foot.

Are you gonna be able to run?

Oh, yeah. Running. Oh, no, running
-
- No problem.

Walking? Walking
-
- that is tough.

Ma'am, are you okay?

What did the doctor say about your toe?

He said if it gets any bigger, I could write "Goodyear" on it,

and it would float over the city.

That means you can't run, huh?

Well, I got to run. I just got to run.

I have to take it easy and pace myself.

Right. We'll call it the K Hop.

I can't believe this.

Things were going so well.

They can still go well.

I know how you can have one of the family in the race,

and I'm not talking about Papa or my turtle.

Who?

Me.

I'll run instead of Ma'am.

The pledges were for the Papadapolis family, right?

Right.

And you both have bad wheels, right?

Right.

Which leaves me...

Kid Wheels. I can do it. I've been training, haven't I?

Well...

And I need to tone up. Look at me, Ma'am.

I know. Blimp city.

Ma'am, there's a lot of sports that I can't compete in,

like football or hockey. But this I can do.

It's important to me, Ma'am.

I know it's important to you,

but it's also pretty grueling.

But you always told me to challenge myself,

to test my abilities.

Oh, well, I meant when you clean out your closet.

Ma'am...

Okay, okay. You can run.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Gonna fly now!

Whoo!

Fly now!

Hi. Can we talk?

The chandelier is shaking downstairs?

Oh, chandeliers were meant to shake.

Great.

I am impressed with the way you have trained for this.

Thanks. I timed it so I'll peak tomorrow.

Hmm.

Whoa, nice move.

That supposed to help you run?

No. It's supposed to make me look cool at the finish line.

Oh. Um...

can we move this talk over to the bed?

I'm getting whiplash.

[ Sighs ]

It's wonderful that you want to run.

You know, it's even sweeter than those earrings that you made me

out of paper clips and, uh, cherry cough drops.

Boy, I didn't think anything could top those.

Neither did I.

I'm so proud

that you want to help those people over at the center.

You know, when you're as lucky as we are,

it's important to want to give something back.

Yeah.

You and George said that helping is always good.

Well, it is.

Now, tomorrow, you're gonna be running a long distance.

And if you get tired, or if you get any aches or pains,

I want you to promise me that you'll stop,

'cause just by entering, you've made me feel like a winner.

Hmm?

Thanks, Ma'am.

But I want you and George to be there

when I blur across that finish line.

Finish line. [ Gasps ]

Finish line. I think I forgot to order the finish line.

I'm really gonna fly now.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I know. You were . I remember you.

WOMAN: Are you Dr. Woo?

No, I am not Dr. Woo. Dr. Woo is not "wunning."

Oh, there you are. I can't
-
- [ Sighs ]

Okay. Any more problems, I think I'm gonna scream!

Then I won't tell you

that your water supplier backed out yesterday.

[ Sighing ] Oh!

Well, I guess Chicago's gonna hear a high "C"

that's gonna break every window. [ Chuckles ]


- Aaaah!
- No, no, no, no!


- Relax, relax, relax, relax.
- Ohh!

Now, it was short notice,

but a friend of mine happens to be a maven of mineral water,

and it will be delivered any second.

"L'Aquitane, from the springs of Paramus...

New Jersey"?

Well, it's not French,

but strange things do bubble to the surface.

Thank you. Okay.

So, I posted the rules for the runners, and I added one.

Guess what it was.

"No spitting unless you're in the back of the pack."

[ Chuckles ] It's kind of funny, huh?

Yeah, it's great. Now, listen, uh...

either start this race, or put me out of my misery.

Come on. Let's go, then.

[ Indistinct conversations continue ]

Well, I guess you and I better get loosened up.

Interesting moves. Did you learn those from Jerry?

No. I got that from Janet Jackson's videos.

GEORGE: I think you guys better get going, here.

Champ, by the way...

I want you to really try and pace yourself, okay?

And don't
-
- and don't look down at your feet,

'cause you might get dizzy. And if you got [span tts:fontStyle="italic"]any[/span]time,

any time at all, bring me back a pizza.

[ Laughs ]

George, I'll see you at the finish line.


- Show them your heels, champ.
- All right.

Whoo!

MAN: [span tts:fontStyle="italic"] Your attention, please.[/span]

[span tts:fontStyle="italic"]Runners, please take[/span] [span tts:fontStyle="italic"] your starting positions.[/span]

Okay, everybody ready?

Get on your marks!

Get set!

[ g*nsh*t ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

Look, we can't wait all night for your kid.

Oh, yes, we can.

You sure he's running and not waiting for a bus?

Yes, I'm sure.

Should've brought a calendar instead of a stopwatch.

Where is he, Rod?

ROD: Almost a kilometer back.

He said he could make it, but he looks pretty b*at.


- Let me borrow the cart.
- Sure thing.

[ Clears throat ]

Hold it, cowboy.

How you feeling?

Fine. I'm just getting my third wind.

What happened to your second?

I lost it about a mile back.

Oh, by the way, the
-
- the center got all its pledges,

including ours. My buddies came through.

That's great. I bet Ma'am's really happy.

She'd be a lot happier if you'd, uh, come in right now with me.

I got to do it, George. I got to finish.

You don't have to do it. You ran a good miles.

But, George, that miles, it was for the Community Center.

Now this last one is for me, George.

I'm gonna prove to myself that I can finish.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

You sure got your father's heart.

Hey, champ?

I'll see you at the finish line.

All right.

Well, there's a gutty little kid behind me.

I think I see him!

Oh, thank heaven. Come on. Let's get ready.

All set?

I wish this were silk ribbon.

Are you kidding? After kilometers,

he wouldn't care if it were dental floss.

Come on. Rise and shine, Mr. Enthusiasm.

This could be a movie, you know. "Chariots of Molasses".

Klausen...

how'd you like a present from Paramus?

[ Upbeat music playing ]

[ [span tts:fontStyle="italic"]Cheers and applause[/span]]

Oh, that feels wonderful, George.

You're better than Magic Fingers.

You don't even have to put a quarter in me.

Mm!

I can't believe how exhausting this was.

You know, it would've been easier

to run the marathon, toe and all.

Boy, I haven't felt this tired

since I stayed up and watched the "Three Stooges" marathon.

[ Giggles ]

[ Laughs ] Yeah, I'm tired, too.

[ Both laugh ]

You're tired? What
-
- You're exhausted

from pulling the trigger on the starting p*stol?

Come on. Come on, Katherine.

I worked up a sweat getting those pledges.

Oh.

I deserve a little TLC myself, you know?

He's right.

Yes, you do. Poor, little George.

[ Murmuring indistinctly ]

[ Theme song plays ]