03x24 - Gotcha

[bunniefuu]

- I'm not at all sure about this, Webster.

I mean, do you really think you can hit it with a dart?


- Which dart?

I just wanted to see how silly you look

with a cantaloupe on your head.

[audience laughs]

♪ Set in my ways ♪

♪ losing track of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to give more ♪

♪ Than I wanted to ♪

♪ Spending my time ♪

♪ just holding the line ♪

♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right in line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ and me and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ and me and you ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ and me and ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

[exciting music]


- So I said, Katherine,

it doesn't matter whether or not you need a new sofa,

when they are % off, you go to the sale.

We are gonna have a ball.


- You party animals here.

[audience laughs]

Oh, now I know what you're doing

forget it, I got the prize yesterday.

[audience laughs]


- Oh what, what was it?


- Babe Ruth.


- The candy bar?


- No, the baseball card.


- How old is this stuff?


- You shouldn't be eating this cereal anyway.

It's almost nothing but sugar.


- I know, that's the best part.


- The cereal I eat is % natural fiber,

and when it's gone,

I can even eat the box.

[audience laughs]


- Isn't it a great time of the year?

The weather, the little birdies, the flowers.


- Your birthday.


- Yes, my birthday, my birthday is coming.


- And before you even ask,

I don't know what mam got you.


- Jerry,

Jerry, old pal, old buddy.

Mind if I call you old pal, old buddy?

You're fairly close with Katherine, did she say.


- She didn't, and even if she had, I wouldn't.


- Well, I didn't want to resort to this,

but hey, you know.

Webby, I have two tickets

to the New York Nickerbockers starring,

are you ready?

Your favorite, Patrick Ewing.

[George giggles]


- Patrick Ewing.

Forget it George I won't talk.


- You wouldn't happen to have any tickets

to the Chicago Symphony in here, would you?


- I could arrange it.


- I gotcha.

Besides, I paid Katherine not to tell me.


- Every year you get me to tell you your birthday present.

And every year mam gets mad.


- I can't help, but I don't like surprises, okay.


- Can we go see the Knicks anyway?


- Well, if you play your cards right, we can.

[George giggles]


- Forget it George, my lips are nailed shut.


- Fine.

But remember, you owe me and you owe me big.


- For what?


- For what?

For last night when you told Katherine you ate your broccoli

and you put it in your napkin and threw it in a garbage can.


- Oh yeah.


- Oh, George, you're about to cross that thin line

between parenting and blackmail.


- Morning all, well, what do you think?


- Oh, it is the perfect sale ensemble.


- Thank you.

I wanted to wear something that said

I could pay full price,

but I wouldn't spit on a discount.

[audience laughs]


- mam.

Next time you buy Sugar Sweeties,

would you mind squeezing a box

and see if it feels like Pete Rose?


- I don't know what Pete Rose feels like,

anyway since he isn't here.

Could we talk toys?

Now, I asked you to put them away.


- I did, there's not one toy in my room.


- I know.

[audience laughs]


- Oh, darling,

I'm afraid I'll have to take the blame for that,

you see, I told him to put his toys in there

so he could air his room out.


- Thanks George.

I owe you one.


- You owe him two

or didn't you think I knew about the broccoli?


- George, you have gotta stop getting

him off the hook now come on.


- I'm not letting him off the hook.

I've, I've just been reflecting over the last three years.

You know, I,

I've been rather rough on that little guy

and I think it's time for me to start to lighten up a bit.


- And besides the ticket bribe didn't work.

[audience laughs]


- Sweetheart, do you, do you know what date it is today?


- It's the day before your birthday

and I'm still not telling you what you're getting.


- What makes you think I wanna know

what I'm getting for my birthday?

[Jerry and Katherine snicker]


- Ghost stories.

I love to scare myself silly.


- Webster.


- Don't do that.


- I'm sorry, listen,

Jerry and I are going out on some errands

and one of George's presents

is being delivered this afternoon.


- I don't wanna know what it is.


- No, no, no, it's okay.

It's gonna be wrapped.

Now this is what I want you to do.

I want you to promise me that if I'm not here,

you'll hide it before George can get his mits on it.


- That won't be easy,

he's got pretty fast mits.


- Honey now listen, I'll be your best friend.

Come on, please.

Will you do it?


- You got it.


- Thank you.


- mam.

How come George gets so crazy about his birthday present?


- I don't know.

How come there are so many brown M&Ms?


- Oh, I see what you mean.

[audience laughs]

Careful George I'm, I'm almost finished.


- Okay, well hurry my wrist are falling asleep here.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.


- Oh no, no, no, I'll get it.

[audience laughs]

[whimsical music]

Thank you.

[whimsical music]

[whimsical music]

[whimsical music]

There,

that will do till I find a better place.

[foreboding music]

George.


- What?

[audience laughs]

Who was it at the door?.


- The door.

Ah, the, wrong number.

[audience laughs]


- Why don't we do this a little later?

Tell you the truth.

I'm getting a little bored with this, what is this?


- I don't know, I thought you knew what it was.


- It doesn't make any difference.

The point is, we've had some quality time together.

[audience laughs]


- I'll go put it away

[audience laughs]


- Come to Papa.

Oh, I love it, I love it, I love it.

It's my little silk pajamas.

Oh!


- George.


- Web.


- [Katherine] Hi boys, I'm home.


- Don't worry, I'll cover for you.


- Hide it.


- George.


- Hi mam.


- George Papadopolis.

I'm so ashamed of you.

Oh, how could you?


- He didn't, I did.

I showed it to him and I'm sorry.


- Is that true?

[audience laughs]


- Well, I...


- Don't even try to cover for me, George.

She caught me red
-handed.


- Webster, I am so disappointed in you.

[sad music]


- [George] Katherine, you took his toys.

Don't you think you're,

you're being just a little too rough on him.

First grounding him and now, now his toys.


- I don't see much sense in confining a boy to his room

and then leaving him in there

with the entire content of Santa's workshop.

Besides George, you know, I expect you to back me on this.

I mean, we're, we're just gonna get nowhere

unless we present a united front.

[audience laughs]


- Well.


- Good.

We have to set Webster a good example

so that he can learn, agreed?


- Darling, I gotta talk to you.

Now, you might get mad at me for this.

Maybe you won't, maybe you will.

But just remember one thing, sweetheart,

I love you very much, okay?


- Okay, what?


- Webster didn't open that package, I did.

[Katherine laughs]


- Come on, George.

You gotta stop covering for him.


- I'm not covering for him, darling.

I'm telling you truth, honestly,

I, I opened that package.

If I'm lying, may I never eat another piece of baklava.

[audience laughs]


- Oh, nice try George.

You know, I've been thinking

that I haven't been tough enough on Webster.


- Haven't been tough enough.


- No.


- What would you like to do?

Cut his desserts.


- Good idea, George.

Oh boy, he'd really remember that one, yeah.

You know what I think what,

I'm gonna tell him that no more video arcade.


- Oh come on.


- He has to come home and do his homework

as he eats spinach and broccoli every single day this week,

he has to have his bath by :.


- But you're not nice.

[audience laughs]


- Come in.


- Hi, got a minute.


- Got the rest of my life, you grounded me remember?


- Oh honey, you're off the hook.

George just confessed.


- He did.


- I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth

until he said he'd never eat another piece of baklava again.


- Are you mad at him?


- You bet, I'm furious at him.

But he doesn't know that.


- What do you mean?


- Well, he still thinks that I don't believe him,

but I do, pretty sneaky huh?


- So sneaky, I don't get it.


- Oh come on honey, I want him to stew in his own juices.


- Oh, he thinks that you think that I don't know

that you know what really happened.


- Now you're talking.


- I'm talking, but I don't know what I'm saying.


- [Katherine] Honey it's simple.

I get mad at George

cause every year he spoils the birthday surprise, okay?

And he still thinks that I'm mad at you, got it?


- Let me get this straight, am I grounded or not?


- Of course you're not but we can't let George know that.


- Why not?


- Because it would spoil the big surprise

and this year, Webster, he's gonna get it.

[Webster squeaks]

[audience laughs]


- [George] Webby.


- ,

,

.


- Webb


- Yes.


- What are you doing?


- Counting beans, it's part of my punishment.

[audience laughs]


- My gallant little man.


- mam wants me to take inventory of all the food.

.

.


- It's terrible.

Well, I owe you one

and I'm gonna make it up to you, I promise.


- Well, there is one thing you could do.


- Raise your allowance.


- Its tempting

but what I really want is a promise.


- Name it.


- Promise that you'll never ask

about your birthday presents again.


- I'd rather have a root canal.

[audience laughs]


- Well, then it's back to the beans.

I lost count.

[audience moans and laughs]

,

,

.
- Okay, okay, okay, I promise.

I promise I'll never ask about my presents again.


- Good, cause I don't have to worry

about making mistakes like saying

your birthday present is upstairs.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

[audience laughs]


- No, you're not dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

We made a deal remember?


- That's relief.

Cause I was hoping I wouldn't let the cat out the closet.

I mean out of the bag.

I mean out of the bag in my closet.

You really know what I mean, don't you?


- Of course I know what you mean

and you have nothing to worry about,

as I said, it's over, this is the new me.

Well, I'm a little busy.

I'll see you later.

[audience laughs]

[audience laughs]

This isn't the top of the line tackle box.

[horns blowing]


- Surprise.


- What do you mean surprise?


- S
-U
-R
-P
-R
-I
-S
-E, surprise.


- Happy birthday, George.


- We knew you wouldn't last till tomorrow,

so we let you find your presents.


- It was mam's idea, pretty sneaky, huh?


- Well, we finally managed to surprise you.


- Yeah.


- Cassie and I gave you the electric yogurt maker.

It's in the green box.


- We gave you an electric yogurt maker for Christmas.

[audience laughs]


- And we loved it so much

we had to get you an identical one.

[audience laughs]


- George, this is the Swiss army Kn*fe, it's from me, see?


- Oh wow.


- And this one over here is from Jerry,

these are pre Colombian statues

that represent the God and Goddess of, get this, fertility.


- The God is for pepper and the Goddess is for salt.

And baby.


- And these

that you had your little baby brown eyes on, silk jammies.

[Webster wails]

[audience laughs]


- I can't believe this,

you took all the fun out of opening up the presents.

Katherine, what, why did you do that?


- Whoa.


- Because you said you hate surprises.


- Yeah, so that only left one thing to do,

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy. ♪


- Birthday Dear Georgie.

Happy birthday to me.


- Good morning, George.


- Good morning George, that's it?

Oh, hi Cass.


- Oh, George, how do I get to Oak Brook?


- Oak Brook?


- Yes, I'm meeting a friend there for lunch.


- Oh, well you take the northbound on a drive

to the Eisenhower Expressway.


- Thank you.


- That's it, thank you?


- Oh, where are my manners?

Goodbye.

[audience laughs]


- Oh, come on Webster, we're gonna be late.


- Oh, great, where are we going?


- Oh, are we?

Oh, Webster and I are going shopping,

and then we're going to a matinee at the Goodman Theater.


- Oh and I'm not going?


- Well no, honey, you don't like going to the theater.

So I only got two tickets.


- Well, darling, today's, today's my birthday.


- I know.

Come on Webb, we're gonna be late.


- Oh, I get it.

You two are gonna go outside

and in a little while come back and surprise Georgie.

That's a good one.


- Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

but didn't we surprise you yesterday?


- Darling that wasn't my birthday?


- Yeah, but yesterday was when you wanted your presents.


- Champagne popped, wrapping tossed, birthday's over,

see you tonight.


- Yeah, but sweetheart.


- Have a nice day Georgie.


- Hey, George.

Boy do I have a great day planed for us?


- Really?


- I've got two tickets to the plumbing fixture

and tool show.

Then we're gonna slip over

and test drive the lawn tractors, come on.


- Oh, I just remembered my goodness sakes.

I've just, I have a previous engagement.

I'm terribly sorry, it sounds like fun.


- Oh, suit yourself pal

but you don't know what you are missing.

Have a nice day.


- Why does everybody keeps saying, have a nice day?

[whimsical music]

[doorbell rings]

[audience laughs]

It's open.


- Oh, thank heavens.

I thought nobody was home.

Is Katherine ready?


- Katherine?

No, she's gone out with Web for the day.


- She can't have,

she was supposed to take me to the airport.


- Where's your car?


- It's in the shop.

I mean, I had the mechanic drop me by here

because she said she'd take me.


- Well, she's forgotten.

She's forgotten a lot of things today.


- Oh, I'll never get a cab in time.

My plane leaves in less than an hour.

George,

I, I know that this is extremely pushy,

but I'm, I'm desperate.

Could you please give me a ride to the airport, huh?


- Fine.

I've got nothing else to do.


- Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

They are gonna put your bust

in the Good Guys Hall of Fame.


- Do you know that this is a very special day today?


- Oh, sure,

today is the first day of the rest of my vacation.

[whimsical music]


- [Announcer] Flight to Freeport

is now boarding at gate .


- Well,

there are Jerry, have a good time.


- Wait a minute, George.

I, I don't think I should be left alone.


- You're not alone, Jerry.

There's people in front of you.


- George, I've, I've never confided this in anyone before,

but I am, I am deathly afraid of flying.


- Take a train.


- To The Bahamas.

I mean, actually, once I'm in the air, I'm, I'm okay.

It's just the waiting in line that I can't stand.

The endless waiting with,

with nothing to think about except the absurdity of flight.

I mean, how do they keep that big thing up there?

[audience laughs]


- Okay, I'll stay with you.


- Oh, George, you know, I,

I've been looking to, forward to this vacation so much.

Getting a little sun, doing a little fishing.


- You fish?


- Did I say fishing?


- [Announcer] Jerry Silver,

please pick up the white courtesy telephone.


- Oh, George would you hold my place in line?

I'll, I'll be right back.

Here, here's my ticket.

See if you can give me an aisle seat.


- Next.

[audience laughs]

Smoking or non
-smoking, Sir.


- I, I don't know what he does.

See no, it's not, it's not for me.

It's for my friend, he'll be back in a minute.


- Immediate boarding, Sir.


- No, no, no, no.
- Have a nice flight.


- Surprise.


- You wanna go fishing?


- What's going on here?


- You're going on a vacation with mam

as your birthday present.


- Oh, but I checked Jerry's luggage already.


- Yeah, but my luggage, your clothes.


- Come on you guys,

come on, you have to catch a plane.


- This is wonderful but what about the champ?


- Yeah, I'm gonna be at Camp Parker.


- He's gonna be our only guest.


- He's a shoe in for camper of the week.


- Yeah, everything's taken care of

and boy did we get George the unsurprised.


- You sure did, you know, it's kind of fun to,

to be surprised like that.

Hey, goodbye champ.

Have a good time at Camp Parker.


- Okay.


- Goodbye sweetheart, I love you.

You be a good boy, you promise to.


- Do I have to?


- Yes you do.

Thanks for everything.

Goodbye, thank you, goodbye.


- Bye bye, goodbye, goodbye go.

Goodbye, goodbye.


- Bye bye.


- Yeah, yes.

[all laughing]


- So Bill, what do we do first?

Go to the ballgame, Circus, amusement park.


- Better than that,

I've got two tickets to the plumbing fixture and tool show.

[audience laughs]


- Mam, George, take me with you.

[upbeat music]

[audience clapping]


- Webster.


- Will be back.


- In a moment.

[Webster laughs]

[soothing music]


- Welcome home, Katherine and George.

It looks nice, Cassie.

Maybe we should taste it you know, see if it's okay.


- I think that we better close this box

before we drool ourselves to death.


- Boy oh boy, surprise, surprise.

You got a card from Katherine and George, Webster.


- Oh, great lemme see it.


- It says, they're having a wonderful time.

The fishing is good and the sun is beautiful.


- Oh, great lemme see it.


- Katherine got a tan and they've learned how to snorkel.


- Just read it to me, Bill.


- As a matter of fact, they're having such a good time.

They've decided to stay three more days.

[whimsical music]


- Three more days?

[audience laughs]

[audience clapping]

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]