03x19 - A Friend in Need

[bunniefuu]

- Uncle Jerry, can I ask you something?


- But of course.


- We have spaces between our teeth, right?


- Right.


- And that's when stuff gets caught

and gives you cavities, right?


- Correct.


- So, why don't we have one big tooth

that goes all the way across? [laughing sound effect]


- Well, because it would be too heavy,

and the tooth fairy would get a hernia.

[Jerry laughing] [laughing sound effect]

[ball thuds] [Jerry yelps]

[laughing sound effect] [Webster laughing]

♪ Set in my ways ♪

♪ Losing track of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to give more ♪

♪ Than I wanted to ♪

♪ Spending my time just holding the line ♪

♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ It was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right in line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ It was you and me ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

[upbeat instrumental music]

[Katherine chuckles]


- Oh, I love these relationship quizzes.

George listen to this one.

Do you consider yourself to be an attentive husband?

[laughing sound effect]

No.

[laughing sound effect]


- Hi, guys.


- Hey, champ.
- Hi.


- Look who followed me home. Can I keep them?

[horn honks]

[Jerry giggles] [laughing sound effect]


- Jerry.

[laughing sound effect]


- You're in the wrong house.

Barnum & Bailey live in Florida.

[laughing sound effect]
- I just came by

to borrow a Webster's squirting flower.

May I?


- Sure, it's all yours.


- It got clogged when I tried to fill it from my aquarium.

I just hope that the missing guppy

is hiding in that little castle.

[laughing sound effect]


- Now, I know that you're trying

to change your three
-piece suit image,

but don't you think this is going a little far? [laughs]


- No, no, no. [laughs]
- Oh, the shoes.

Yeah. [laughs]

No, today is volunteer day at Oak Shore Hospital.

You know, once a month I go

and visit the kids in the leukemia ward.


- Oh.
- It's kind of depressing,

isn't it?


- Oh, no, no. It makes me feel great.

You know, some of these kids

are in and out of the hospital most of their lives,

so they need some visitors, you know. [chuckles]

Hey, Webster, how about that plastic posey, huh?


- Oh, sure. Come on up.

You can take your pick.

Can you use two thirds of a rubber chicken?

[laughing sound effect]


- Two thirds?


- Yeah. That

[indistinct]

bit its head off.

[laughing sound effect]

Well, see, you can't use my joy buzzer,


- Mm
-hmm.
- because that's in the shop.

[laughing sound effect]


- It's a hell of a way to spend your leisure time, isn't it?


- Yeah, but I think he's been involved in it,

'cause his, his sister has had leukemia

for such a long time.


- The one, the one with three kids?


- Yep. That's the one.

But you know, her cancer's been in remission

for oh, over years.


- Why didn't he ever tell me about it?


- Because Jerry knows how you feel about hospital talk.


- Can you tell me

that this thing is guaranteed to squirt five feet, huh?


- Yep, gotta give it a head start,

just in case you have to run.

[laughing sound effect] Ma'am, can I go

with uncle Jerry to the hospital sometime?


- No, kids are, aren't allowed to visit hospitals.


- Oh, oh, no, they are at this one.

I take my nephews all the time.


- So, please, George?

I never get do fun stuff like go to the hospital.

[laughing sound effect]


- Come on. It might be kind of educational.

Instead of going to the zoo next Saturday,

you and your friends could go to Oak, Oaker?


- Oh, Oak Shore.


- Oak Shore.
- Yeah.

Just let me know when

and I'll check it out with the hospital administrator.


- Well, I'd be happy to chaperone if you like.


- That would be terrific.


- That's great. We're going to the hospital.

I'm gonna tell all my friends.

[laughing sound effect] Yeah.


- You wanna come, George?


- No.

Look, I know, I know it sounds terrible

the way I'm talking right now,

but I, I've, when I was a ball player,

I did a lot of children's hospitals and I...

You ever see those little faces in those hospitals?

Look at, I
-I
-I can't take it anymore, okay?

[instrumental music]


- And now, which hand has the coin?


- The right.
- No,

no, no. [kids responding]


- The left.
- Wrong again.


- Oh.
- as a matter of fact,

it's right here.

[everyone cheering] [Jerry laughing]


- And if you wanna make sure it's the same coin,

you can check the date.


- Where does it say the lovely assistant turns on the clown?

[laughing sound effect]

Now, a trick that has baffled Pharaohs for a thousand years.

[everyone cheering]


- Can you see better if you came over here?


- Oh, well,


- [Jerry] Thank you very much.


- I'm reading.


- Don't you like magic?


- I guess I'm not in the mood.


- [Jerry] Now all three of you tell me without telling me

what color
-
- Are you feeling okay?


- Well, I'm in remission.


- I'm in fourth grade.

[laughing sound effect] [Mark chuckles]

My name's Webster.


- I'm Mark.


- [Jerry] Wrong again.


- What does remission mean?


- It's like being well,

sort of.


- Then why are you still here?


- I'm not supposed to be.

My mom's coming from Wisconsin, but her car broke down.


- Hi. What's your name?


- Mark.
- Hi, Mark.


- This is my mom, ma'am.


- This is your mom? She's pretty.


- Oh, how lovely to make the acquaintance

of such a bright, perceptive young man.

[laughing sound effect]


- That mean she thinks she neat.

She talks like that, because she's almost a psychologist.

[laughing sound effect]
- My mom works in a bakery.


- Bet she makes a lot of dough.

[group laughing]
- Good, ma'am.

[laughing sound effect] [horn honking]


- Contrary to the popular rumor

that I am not playing with a full deck,

all cards [deck ripples]

are present and accounted for.

Now, young man, which card is on top?


- Four of hearts?

[Jerry chuckles]


- The queen of spades.

[Katherine and Jerry laughing]

Did I mention that we were playing for money?

[laughing sound effect]


- Let me try that.


- Oh, a would be prestidigitator.

[laughing sound effect]

Now, you shuffle those and you water this for me.

[laughing sound effect]

Oh, [phone ringing]

I see you've met Mark,

one of my very special friends.


- Mark's one of my friends too.

[Mark chuckles]


- How long have you been here at Oak Shore?


- Well, six weeks this time,

but I've been here twice before.


- Mark, your mom's on the phone.


- All right! Come on, Webster.

You can say hi.


- Be sure and say hello for me.


- Okay.


- She calls every day, same time.


- You know, he's such a sweet kid

and he doesn't seem as if he belongs here at all.

He seems like he's healthy.


- Well, he doesn't anymore now that he's in full remission.

As a matter of fact,

getting out of there would give him a little boost.


- Mm.


- I mean, you know,

children respond better in a home environment.

Oh, I take him to my place,

but a bachelor apartment's no place for a kid.

Well, you know, he needs a,

a mother and a, a father and, and perhaps a
-another child.


- Mark's mom can't get here 'til Tuesday.


- Oh. Poor little guy.

Three more days in this hospital.


- Jerry, you're about as subtle as your slight of hand.

[laughing sound effect]

Webster, what do you think about inviting Mark

over to our house until his mom does get here?


- That'd be green. He can stay in my room.

I'll go tell him.
- Whoop, not so fast.

We have one big obstacle to overcome.


- Oh, you mean the one with the mustache

[laughing sound effect]

that used to play football?


- That's the one.

[laughing sound effect] [upbeat instrumental music]


- I b*at you and I triple b*at you.

[luggage thuds]


- Well, that's because you jumped outta the car first.


- You know, I can't believe

that your mom talked my mom in letting me come here.


- I can't believe she talked George

to letting you come here.

Hey, have you ever done a Wheelie on a skateboard?


- I don't know. I've never even been on.


- Well, we'll, we'll get mine outta my room

and I'll show you.

We'll get there through the secret passageway.


- Secret passageway? [laughing sound effect]


- Yes.

[door squeaks]


- Gee.

What a neat place to live.


- I can't believe the difference in that child.

You know, the doctors did lots of fresh air and exercise.

So, I was thinking why don't you take them out

and play a little football?


- Get serious.

What
-
- No, no, no, no,

No, no, no, no.

I don't mean the bone
-crushing contact sport.

I mean the one where you put little hankies

in the pocket, you know, and touch each other.

[laughing sound effect]
- That's not football.

It's ballet.

[door closes] [laughing sound effect]

[instrumental music]


- Don't worry about not doing a Wheelie on my skateboard.

Nobody can the first time.

Besides, you were good at dodge ball.


- Hmm. I don't feel good.


- You're gonna be sick. I should take you to the bathroom.


- I don't think I can stand up.


- Ma'am! George!

[door opens]

Come quick.

I think Mark's leukemia's coming back.

[Webster knocking]

[instrumental music]


- Well, it's normal.

Here, drink this.

What else did you thieves steal from the larder?


- Just corn chips [laughing sound effect]

and some bean dip and pineapple juice.

[laughing sound effect] There might even

one other thing,

but I can't remember what.


- Chocolate cake.

[laughing sound effect]


- That sounds familiar.

[laughing sound effect]


- Well, I talked to the doctor.

He doesn't think there's a problem,

but he wants us to bring him

down early in the morning just in case.


- Oh, well, my diagnosis is a good old fashioned tummy ache.

Oh, how could you guys get into the junk food

on Mark's first night out of the hospital, huh?


- Junk food?

Come on you guys.


- I looked, but I couldn't find any broccoli and carrots.

[laughing sound effect]


- Do you have to tell my mom?

I mean, I'm feeling better already.

And if she finds out,

she just might never let me do stuff like this again.


- What stuff?


- Any stuff that other kids get to do.


- That's enough for tonight.

Settle down and get some rest.

You in the big bed,

have you got any more candy stashed in there?


- No.


- You better not.

[laughing sound effect] [Katherine smooches]

Good night.


- Good night.


- Good night. [switch clicks]

Web, the bean dip, where is it?


- Behind the broccoli.

[laughing sound effect]


- Good night.

[laughing sound effect]


- Psst, Web.


- Yeah?


- Do you think your mom is mad at us?


- No. She's gonna be a psychiatrist.

She understands when people do dumb things.

[laughing sound effect]


- What do you wanna be when you grow up?


- Um, I'm gonna be a sportscaster just like George

or that guy in a commercial

who crunches suitcases with an elephant.

[laughing sound effect]

What do you wanna be?


- A doctor.


- You'll have to go to school for a hundred years for that.

[laughing sound effect]


- It'll be worth it.

When I'm a doctor,

maybe I can find a cure for leukemia.

Night, Web.


- Night.

[instrumental music]


- I don't think my leg is gonna work yet.

I'm gonna need a forklift to get off of the sofa.

[laughing sound effect]


- The boys really ran you ragged, huh?


- Oh, we walked everywhere.

I mean, we stopped at every hotdog stand

between the park and the pork rind poop.

[laughing sound effect]


- Last one to the kitchen has a dirty sweat sack.

[laughing sound effect]


- I can't believe the energy that kid has.


- Well, it's the same way with my sister.

When you're in remission,

all of the symptoms of leukemia disappear.

There's no guarantee they won't come back someday.

But a person in remission is as normal as we are.

[doorbell rings]


- I'll get it.

[footsteps pattering]

[door opens]


- Mr. Papadopolis?
- Yes.


- I'm Mark's mother, Irene Jenkins.


- Hello, Irene. George.

You can call me George.


- Thank you.


- Can I take your coat?
- Thanks.


- This is my wife, Katherine.


- Hello. It's very nice to meet you.


- Nice to meet you.


- I think you know Jerry Silver.


- Only over the phone.


- Oh, yes.
- But it's nice

to put a face with a voice.


- Oh, it's nice to meet you all.


- Please sit down.


- Thanks.

Is Mark all right?
- Oh.

He's fine. [door closes]

He's been a perfect guest.


- Boys, come on out for a minute. We have a surprise.

[footsteps pattering]


- Well, you must be exhausted after that long car trip.


- Oh, the car trip was fine.

It's just that you can't imagine

how many country western stations there are

between my house [George chuckles]

and your house.

[Katherine chuckles] [laughing sound effect]

[footsteps pattering]


- Either the boys are back

or we're in the eye of a buffalo stampede.

[laughing sound effect]

[footsteps pattering]


- Gotcha.


- Not for long.

Hi, mom.


- Hi, darling.

Oh.

Oh, my baby. You can hardly breathe.

Come sit down.

Sit down over here. You okay?

Yeah?
- Hi.


- This is our son, Webster.


- I talked to you on the phone.

Mark's new friend.
- That's right.

Hi, Webster. Nice to meet you.

Mark, what's that under your eye?

Is that a bruise?


- No, it's just paint.


- From what?


- Well, Webster let me sign my name

on the side of his tree house.


- His tree...

You climbed a tree?


- Irene, we're gonna have some lunch.

Would you like some of my chicken and chili?


- It's one of George's specialties.

We call it chirp and burp.

[laughing sound effect]


- Not a pretty lunch, but it's filling.

[Jerry laughing] [laughing sound effect]


- Mark, you have been observing your special diet,

haven't you?


- Special diet?

His doctor didn't say anything about a special diet.


- Yeah. Well, doctors don't know everything.

This is a diet I put together.

It's mostly high fiber and complex carbohydrates.


- Oh, we can put some Bran Flakes in his chili.

[everybody laughing]


- He's such a kidder. [laughs]


- Oh, sweetie, when will you learn?

Well, I brought your protein powder.

I'll make you a shake.


- I'm not really hungry, mom. [footsteps pattering]


- I knew it.

[footsteps pattering]

You don't look well.

Mrs. Papadopolis, could he go lie down a bit?


- Absolutely.


- Honey, you go lie down.

I'll make you some warm milk, okay?

[instrumental music] [footsteps pattering]


- The kitchen.
- The kitchen. Thanks.


- Wow.

Ain't sure got weird around here all of a sudden.

[instrumental music]

Not feeling too good, huh?


- I have leukemia.

You had leukemia minutes ago,

but that didn't stop you from b*ating me at basketball.


- You don't understand.


- Right about that.


- It makes my mom sad that I'm sick.

So, if I'm real careful and don't fall out of remission,

then she won't have to cry so much.


- Is that why you start acting different when she showed up?


- I don't know what worries her the most,

when I'm sick or when I'm not.


- But you've gotta play and stuff. We're kids.

It's what we do.


- Yeah.

Here, I'm a regular kid,

but when I'm with my mom, I'm a kid with leukemia.


- It's not fair.

You shouldn't have to act sick if you're not.

[instrumental music]


- After Irene's speech about all the chemicals in food,

I feel guilty about drinking this coffee.

No, I don't. I need to wake up.


- Hi, guys.


- Hi, champ. [door closes]


- Hi, honey. Did you sleep well?


- More like little naps.

Mark's mom kept on coming in all night.

She'd look and leave, look and leave. Weird.


- Where's Mark?

Yesterday he b*at you when he raced you down the stairs.


- I know.

Today, he won't even get out of bed

until his mom said it's okay.

I'm gonna go get some juice.


- Since when does a kid have to ask permission to wake up?


- George, I can't stand this.

I've gotta say something to Irene.


- Darling, it's none of our business, okay?


- But she is reinforcing his illness,

I mean, at the moment he's healthy.


- Sweetheart, it's very tough

to tell another parent how to do their job.


- Even for the good of the child?

Wait a minute.

Is it my imagination

or does Irene really dwell on the negative?

[footsteps pattering]


- Oh, I don't know what to do.

Mark's so exhausted

he didn't eat a bite of his breakfast.


- He'll work up an appetite.

We're gonna go out and play football.


- Football? Mark?


- Oh, yeah. George says he's pretty good.


- I don't believe how you encourage him

to, to run wild [tray thuds]

and eat anything he wants.

I mean, why, why are you pretending

there's nothing wrong with him?


- Irene, why are you pretending

that there's nothing right with him?


- Irene, we would never, ever do anything to harm Mark.

We've treated him as if he was our own son.


- For two whole days.

I've been living with this for seven years.

Look,

do you have any idea what it's like

to have to be more of a jailer than a mother?


- No. I can't even imagine it.


- You are so lucky you have a healthy son.

If your boy gets the chickenpox,

he, he misses a week of school.

For Mark, chickenpox could mean months in the hospital

or worse.


- Look, Irene, Mark is a fighter.

If anybody can b*at this, he can.


- I know that.


- Then why don't you enjoy him while he's in remission

and stop reminding him about his illness?


- I don't have to remind him. It's a fact of his life.


- He knows that.


- Webster, Mark has no idea how serious things are.


- Sure he does.

He knows that some of his friends

d*ed from the same thing he's got.


- Did he say that?


- Yeah. But what about his friend Sam?

He's in remission and he's the captain of a soccer team.


- Yeah. I know.

Well, I've heard all about Sam,

but, honey, we're talking about Mark.


- Okay.

Did Mark tell you he only act sick,

because he thinks you want him to?


- No.


- That's because he loves you

and he doesn't want you to cry anymore.


- [Mark] Mom?

[instrumental music]


- Coming, honey.

[instrumental music]


- Well, I'm really gonna miss you.


- Yeah, me too.

Hope you come back to Chicago real soon.

[lock clicks]

There.

Wait a minute.

You only come to Chicago

when you have to go to the hospital.

I don't want you to have to go to the hospital,

so I guess I hope you don't come back to Chicago real soon.

[laughing sound effect]


- Well, you could come visit me in Wisconsin.


- Yeah. I like cheese.

[laughing sound effect]
- Me too, especially on

cheeseburgers.
- Cheeseburgers.

[laughing sound effect] [both high
-fives]


- I don't know how I can thank you for all your kindness.


- Oh, I'm glad we could help.


- You know the old saying

you can't see the forest for the trees?

Well, maybe I've been just too close

to this thing for too long.


- Well, we didn't wanna intrude,

but we did want you to enjoy Mark

as much as we have the last couple days.


- Here you go, Irene. A little something for the road.


- Oh.
- But don't worry,

it's not chirp and burp.

[George laughing] [laughing sound effect]


- Thank you, George. You've been terrific.


- Thank you.


- Look, I'm not much of a football coach,

so if Mark needs any pointers, can I give you a call?


- Absolutely.

[footsteps pattering]


- Oh, Marky, let me help you with that.

On second thought,

why don't you put your suitcase in the car?


- You're gonna let me carry it?


- Why not?

[instrumental music]


- Drive carefully.
- Oh, thanks.

Thank you, George.

Webster.


- Bye
-bye.
- Bye.


- Thanks so much.

Come on Marky, let's go.


- Now remember our pact, Webster,

we're not gonna say goodbye.


- And we're not gonna wave at the windows like cry babies.

See ya. [hands claps]


- See ya.

[instrumental music]

[door closes] [Katherine sighs]


- Well, [tongue clicks]

we're all gonna miss him.

Let's hope that he's well enough

to come and visit next summer, hmm?


- He will. I just know it.

[instrumental music]


- Webster.


- Will be back.


- In a moment. [laughs]

[upbeat instrumental music]


- Well, Mark and Irene made it back to Wisconsin,

but the car broke down four times.


- How's Mark?


- He's fine. He even learned to change a flat tire.

[Jerry chuckles]


- Well, as soon as George

finishes loading the toys in the car,

we'll be on our way to the hospital.

Hey, Web, come on. What's taking so long?


- I had a problem with my nose.

[laughing sound effect]

[clapping sound effect]


- Who is this clown?


- I don't know. I never saw him before in my life.

[laughing sound effect]


- Guys, it's me. Webster.

[laughing sound effect]
- Yeah.


- You better show us some sort of identification.

[laughing sound effect]

[instrumental music]
- [Katherine] Yeah,

no doubt about it.

[upbeat instrumental music] [clapping sound effect]

[upbeat instrumental music continues]

[trumpet music]