02x03 - The Great Walnutto

[bunniefuu]

- One,

two,

three.

[footsteps thumping]

, , [audience laughing]

.


-

pushups.

Boy, that's fantastic.

Well, you sure earned yourself an ice cream soda.

Come on, champ.


- Works every time.

[audience laughing] [Webster laughing]

♪ Set in my ways ♪

♪ Losing track of the days ♪

♪ Only me to live for ♪

♪ Had no need to give more ♪

♪ Than I want to ♪

♪ Spending my time just holding the line ♪

♪ Never getting caught up ♪

♪ Love was never brought up ♪

♪ It's not the thing to do ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, it was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You made me leap without taking a look ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, it was you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ You reeled me right ♪

♪ In line, sinker, and hook ♪

♪ Never thought forever was the best I could do ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

♪ It was you and me and you ♪

♪ It was you and me and ♪

♪ Then came you ♪

[gentle upbeat music]


- Believe me, Katherine.

By the time I'm finished cooking,

George will be eating out of the palm of my hand.

That is how he eats, isn't it?

[audience laughing]


- Jerry, you think a leg of lamb

is gonna win over a man like George?


- You're right.

He is large.

This may call for a small sheep.[laughs]

[audience laughing]


- Look, forget the Greek banquet.

If you want George to do you a favor

then just ask him straight out.


- Hmm, well, like how?


- Well, like, uh, George, my health spa's in trouble

and I'm having a membership drive

and I need a big sports personality like you

to attract new customers.


- Mmm, too honest.

Nah, I'll stick to bribery.

[audience laughing] [footsteps thumping]


- Hi, ma'am.


- Hi, there.
- Hi, Jerry.


- Where's George?


- Yata ho, everybody.

[audience laughing]

[audience applauding]


- Oh, my God, it's tonto on steroids.

[audience laughing]


- Jerry, if you want what you want.


- Right, be nice.

Nice knees, George.

[audience laughing]

Well, I'm off, chao.


- So how did the big powwow go?


- Great. I'm almost in the official boy Brave.


- Oh.


- Yep, all he is gotta do is tie a few knots

and do a good deed.


- Yeah, but I'm having a little trouble with my knots.

I keep, tie my fingers together.


- Ooh. [audience laughing]

We'll practice,

remember those sailor knots that I taught you?


- Yeah, those were fun.


- Go get it.


- Come, come, come, Katherine.

Where would a classy lady like you learn about sailor knots?


- Believe me, love handles, you don't wanna know.

[audience laughing]

Just sit down please. Thank you.

Okay, here we go.


- First I loop this over here.


- Uh
-huh.


- And

pull.

[audience laughing]


- What do you mean

I wouldn't want to know? [audience laughing]


- Then I go back here and pull like this.

[audience laughing]


- I mean, where would you learn about sailor knots

if not from a sailor?

Or was it sailors?

[audience laughing]


- See!

That's a half hitch.


- Well, was it sailors?


- Right. [audience laughing]


- Right, What do you mean, It was sailors?


- George, stop living in my past.

[audience laughing]


- Ma'am. Now could you help me with my good deed?


- Oh, well, what kind of good deed?


- Katherine, I'd really like to be untied now, okay?

[audience laughing]


- I'm supposed to do the kind of deed

that makes a difference in someone's life.


- Oh, I see.

You mean like Kierkegaard's influence on Kafka's writing?

[chair squeaking]


- Yeah.

[audience laughing]

Only more outdoorsy.

[audience laughing]


- Katherine, my arms are numbing.

[audience laughing]


- I'm.

Honey. It's a great wide, wonderful world out there

and I'm sure if you give it some thought

that the perfect deed will just pop right into sight.


- Could you help me?


- Forget about him. Help me, Katherine.

Just let me out here. [audience laughing]


- Wait George.

Honey, you know that we'll always be here for you

but, I think that you're such a big boy now

that you can do this on your own.


- Yeah, I am a big boy now.

I'm going to find my good deed.


- There's the spirit.

[audience laughing]


- Are you forgetting something, darling?


- No, I don't think so.


- Come on, Katherine. The rope.


- Oh, you're right.

Webster needs more rope.

Don't move. I'll be right back.

[audience laughing]


- Come on Katherine.

[door thuds]

Katherine!

[audience laughing] [gentle upbeat music]

Katherine!

[audience laughing]

Katherine! [audience laughing]


- [Katherine] Mmm, delicious.


- Aah.
- Mmm.


- Na, nana, nana, nana, nana

nana, nana, na naa, nanana, [audience laughing]

nana, naa, na, na, na.

[audience laughing]


- What's he doing here?


- Roasting your kebabs.

[audience laughing]


- You touch my kebabs. You're a dead man.

[audience laughing]


- He's making us an early dinner.


- Katherine. I don't think I'm gonna like this.

Am I gonna like this Katherine?


- Hi guys. Guess what I did, I did it.

I found my good deed.


- Oh, that's wonderful. What is it?


- My friend from school, Pee
-Wee Carter.

I always share my sandwiches with him.

Anyway, I invited him over to dinner with us,

if that's okay.


- That's okay. Yeah.


- Yay. Pee
-Wee's on his way over now.

I'm gonna make a big difference in his life

honor badge here I come.


- I don't remember him ever mentioning Pee
-Wee before.


- Just relax, as soon as Pee
-Wee gets here,

we'll call his mother and make sure it's okay.

[Jerry speaking foreign language]

[audience laughing]


- Ooh, I love the way I say that.

Don't you love the way I say that?

[audience laughing]

I don't think he loves the way I say that.

[audience laughing]


- Jerry, why are you doing this?


- Because I like you.

[audience laughing]

Okay. No more lying.

The truth is, George, [audience laughing]

that I.

You see.

[audience laughing]


- He wants to ask you if you'll make a special appearance

at a membership drive he's planning for his health spa.


- Whew. That was a lot easier than I thought.

[audience laughing]


- No.


- Oh, it'll be wonderful, a wonderful gala.

You'll make a little speech.

I'll invite some of your friends.

What did he just say?


- No.

Spell it with me.

N
-O, [audience laughing]

no.


- George, you are ruining my life.

[audience laughing]


- Then I've done my job.

[audience laughing]

[door bell ringing]
- Boys.


- I'll get it, he's here, he's here.

Come on in Pee
-Wee.

[audience laughing]


- You're Pee
-Wee?


- He is Pee
-Wee [audience laughing]


- That's Pee
-Wee?


- I'm Pee
-Wee.

[audience laughing]


- I'll flip you to see who calls his mother.

[audience laughing]

[Pee
-Wee laughing]


- Boy, you sure had some exciting times Pee
-Wee.


- Yeah. Well, Webster, that's life.


- What's life?


- A magazine.


- How much?


- cents.


- Too much.


- That's tough.


- What's tough?


- Life?


- What's life?


- The magazine.


- How much?


- The Great Walnutto. [audience laughing]


- No. George, you're supposed to say cents.


- You know, I knew, I knew that voice.

Katherine. Katherine, come here darling.

It's the Great Walnutto.


- What's the Great Walnutto?


- What's the Great Walnutto? [audience laughing]

The most famous magician

that ever performed on radio, that's what.

You know, Pee
-Wee [audience laughing]

I, I used to listen to you when I was a kid every weeek.

[audience laughing]


- You were a radio magician.


- The only one.

[audience laughing]


- Wow. What happened?

How come you're not radio anymore?


- Television.


- Huh?


- Well, Webster, you see my tricks didn't translate.

On radio

this

was magic.

But on television, it just meant something to the deaf.

[audience laughing]

Who knows what it meant.

[audience laughing]


- Do you remember any tricks you did on radio?


- Well, there there is the old paper trick.


- Oh, the paper trick.

Katherine, you know [audience laughing]


- I Love the paper trick.

[audience laughing]


- It's good, huh?


- Good. Where do you hear it?

[audience laughing]


- Well, alright, I'll, I'm gonna need a piece of paper.

Ah, there we are.

Now I'll just tear this up into little pieces, eh,

and I

I'll put

I wanna put it in the palm of my hand.

Hey, now if you'll just say the magic word.


- Oh, what is it?


- Weee.

[audience laughing]


- Weee.

[audience laughing]


- Weee.

[audience laughing]

[audience clapping]


- That's it?


- Well, on radio, that was Houdini.

[audience laughing]

I got fan mail, okay.


- Fine. [audience laughing]


- But Pee
-Wee could you do another trick?


- Well, I, I don't know Webster.


- But you've got to.

If you do your magic, you make a lot of people happy.


- Yeah. Well, that'd be awfully nice, Webster

but I'm afraid that was the only one

that was still living up here.

I'm afraid the rest are gone. I can't find them anymore.


- We'll help you remember them right, guys?


- Well.
- Right
-

well, maybe, maybe another night.

But right now, Webster, it's getting late.

It's a school night.


- But ma'am.


- I No, no, no, Webster ma'am is right.

I,

I should be going.

After all. What am I?

I'm,

I'm just a nobody.

I'm afraid your warmth

and your hospitality made me forget that for a minute.

But last, now I.

I've got to go back where I belong, to my lonely room.

Through the dark of night.

Though the foul air nips at my nose

and my brittle bones are chilled to the matter.

So long.

[audience laughing]

Goodbye.

Ariwaa!

Afmidazin.

And, inka dinka doo.

[audience laughing] [audience clapping]


- Pee
-Wee, wait Pee
-Wee,

Pee
-Wee.
- Where are you going?


- I'm going after him.

I care even if you don't.


- Webster love.
- Hey wait come on here.


- Webster.

[gentle upbeat music]


- You know it sure is quiet around here,

now that Walnutto's gone.

He sure brought back old memories.


- Weee.

[audience laughing] [Katherine laughing]

[door slams]


- Hi guys.


- Hey. Boy Brave.

Well, come on. Come on.

Let's see, let's see that honor badge.


- I don't have it. I gave it back.


- Why?


- Because I didn't earn it.

I didn't make any difference in Pee
-Wee's life.


- Sure you did.

We went after him.

We brought him back here.

He stayed the weekend with us.

We fed him.

[audience laughing]

You took him to the playground and he.


- Yeah. You hugged the swings.


- George. [audience laughing]


- Come on Katherine, I pushed him on the swings.

You gonna push me, right Web?

[audience laughing]


- The point is, Webster,

that, that you did a lot for Pee
-Wee.

Honey, We all did.


- Not enough. He's back at school helping the janitor

just like always.

He won't even do his magic anymore.


- Web, listen to me.

You, you can't change a person's life.

You helped him. That's the important thing.


- Yeah, I agree with George.

It is the trying that counts.

Although I do disagree about the changing.


- When it comes to changing people,

there's very little you can do.


- That's it.


- That's what?


- Doolittle, Pygmalion.


- Pig what?

[audience laughing]


- No, no honey. Pig who?

You see, in the play Pygmalion,

professor Higgins transforms Eliza Doolittle

from this poor little street urchin, into this elegant lady.

And you could do the same thing for Pee
-Wee.


- You mean, I'm gonna turn Pee
-Wee into a lady.

[audience laughing]


- That should get him two honor badges.[laughs]

[audience laughing]


- No, no, honey.

What I mean is that, maybe you could help Pee
-Wee

become the Great Walnutto again.


- Yeah. I can help him do his magic.


- Yeah. Well that is if he wants to.


- He does, he does.


- And you're willing to practice with him.


- I am, I am.


- And you'd really work hard with him every day?


- I will, I will. [audience laughing]


- Well then go to it boy Brave.


- I can't wait to tell all my friends.

Yay!

[Katherine gasps]


- Isn't this exhilarating, George?

[audience laughing]


- No, Katherine. It's wrong.

Katherine Pee
-Wee's an old man.

I don't think he should be playing with his life.


- We're not playing, we're caring.


- We're not caring, darling, we're meddling.

I say forget it.


- Oh, come on George. Who could get hurt?

[gentle upbeat music]


- And now for his next trick,

the Great Walnutto will now,

pull the tablecloth out from under

ma'am's best trainer.

[Katherine gasping] [audience laughing]


- Webster!

[audience laughing]


- Aah, Webster. I, you know I,

I, I don't think I can do this one.


- Sure, you can.


- Webster, listen to the man

if he says he can't do it. [audience laughing]

I believe him.


- Ooh come on professor Higgins,

it's just a couple old dishes.

[audience laughing]


- I shall let the act continue.


- Yeah, Yeah [audience laughing]

[audience clapping]


- Yeah. We've been practicing all morning.


- With my Good China.


- Well no, well. No it was actually[laughs]

actually it was just with a,

with a pillowcase and a plastic mug.


- Oh, well honey. [audience laughing]

I mean, just cause it worked with a,

with a cup and a piece of linel.


- Who said it worked?

[audience laughing]


- Go on Pee
-Wee.


- Alright. Alright.

The Great Walnutto will now

pray.


- I think I'm gonna be sick. [audience laughing]

[dishes rattling]

[audience clapping] [Webster cheering]


- Oh, Pee
-Wee.


- Well, I did it.

[Pee
-Wee shouting] [audience clapping]


- Oh, that's just wonderful.
- I did it.

I did it.


- [Katherine] Oh.


- I did it.


- Now all I've gotta do

is show my boy Brave troop how Great Walnutto is.

[Pee
-Wee gasping]


- We are up for an honor badge, you know.


- Oh Well this is so exciting.

I just have to call Jerry now.


- Why?


- Well, because he's been kind enough

to let Walnutto entertain the boy Braves in his gym.

Oh goody


- Wait a minute, I'm gonna entertain for people.

[footsteps thumping]


- You know Katherine that's very nice of Jerry to do this.

[phone buttons clicking]

What does he want in return?

[audience laughing]


- Well, nothing at all honey.

When you make your speech

at his membership drive, that'll be payment enough.


- My what?


- Oh, please, George.

It was the only way I could get Walnutto a real audience.


- Katherine.
- Please.


- Guys.

You know, I really feel great.

It's nice to help somebody.

And tomorrow, when Walnutto does his magic at uncle Jerry's,

I'm gonna be the proudest Brave boy in the whole world.

[gentle upbeat music]

[children ululating]

Shh. This is gonna be great guys.

[audience chattering]


- And now future silver sized bodies of Chicago

and the boy Braves of the loop.

Herbie, don't stick your gum underneath my rented chairs.

[audience laughing]

Here's George Papadopoulos.

[audience clapping]


- Thank you Jerry.


- I think we should call this thing off.

I mean, Pee
-Wee walked out on us yesterday

and he may not show up.


- Maybe he has somewhere important to go.


- Well, I think that as
- Even as baby, I used to


- We push too hard.

I mean, I think that I pushed us too hard.

And I, and I'm so sorry.


- So I said to Jerry, I said, you know, you

you've gotta help me lose pounds of, of, of ugly

of ugly fat.

[audience laughing]


- You don't think it was stretching it a little

writing George's speech?


- I don't know.

I think I captured him rather well.

[audience laughing]


- So the next time you're feeling fat,

flabby or outta shape

think of me

[audience laughing]

and the Silver Size exercise spa.

Now ladies and gentlemen,

to entertain and delight you this evening.

We have a wonderful, wonderful person

and I'd like to introduce him at this time.


- He is not here yet.


- He's not here yet?

[audience laughing]


- All right, then I'd like to introduce my wife.

Who has something to say?


- No.

[audience laughing] [audience clapping]


- Come on, Katherine. Come on. Katherine.

Have something to say.


- Well, what's to say?

Back to you, George.

[audience laughing]

[Pee
-Wee gasping]


- Pee
-Wee!


- Talk fast George, the chairs go back at six.

[audience laughing]


- Yeah, right.

You know, when I think of Jerry Silver,

I think of dumbbells.

[audience laughing]


- Pee
-Wee I was getting worried.

Which trick should we start with?


- Look, Webster, I'm awfully sorry,

but I, I made another appointment.

I forgot all about it.

So I'm, I'm gonna have to move along.

So I'll just say goodbye

and, and don't let the bedbugs bite.


- I love your jokes.

Well, I'll go get our kits.


- No, no. Webster! Webster! Wait a minute.


- [George] Do you have any answers?


- Pee
-Wee. Now that was a joke, wasn't it?


- What joke?
- You know I used to put

I'm not going out there.

Great Walnutto always has an image to protect.

He does not perform in men's locker rooms.


- I don't believe that.


- Then it was worth a sh*t.

[audience laughing]

Okay. The truth is a, I came to tell a kid goodbye.


- Wrong again.


- Oh, she's good.

[audience laughing]


- You came because you know that Webster cares about you

and you didn't wanna let him down even though you're scared.


- Scared?

Me

scared?


- Pish posh, the Great Walnutto is not scared.


- I'm glad that
- It's terrified.

[audience laughing]


- I haven't done this act for years.

I'm rusty. I'm old.

Look, I don't wanna make a fool myself.

What if I fail?


- Oh Pee
-Wee I feel so badly.

I'm so sorry that I got
- I'm ready when you are.


- Webster honey, I'm afraid there's not gonna be a show.


- Of course there's gonna be a show.

I'm here, Pee
-Wee is here.
- I mean trying to get
-


- from hammerhead shark is easier

than getting laughs out here.

[gentle upbeat music]


- [George] I got an idea,

now why don't you all stand. Listen.


- Well, you're right.

Right look,

Alright, look you better get up there

and announce me right away,

I'm getting older by the minute.

[audience laughing]


- So here's, here's an exercise you can do

right in your seats.

If you'd just like to follow along

with me right now, here we go.

One, two, one, two [audience laughing]


- Ladies and gentlemen.


- Thank God

[audience laughing]


- I want to introduce the bestest magician

in the whole room, maybe even the world.

And I know magic.

Anyway, I want you to please clap a lot for my pal Pee
-Wee,

the Great Walnutto.

[audience clapping]


- Thank you, thank you, thank you Webster.

Evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I came here to do a few magic tricks for you.

But first I'd,

I'd like to tell you about another magician.

He's a very special kind of magician.

He, he doesn't use a magic wand.

His magic is in his heart.

And with his magic, he, he did a very special kind of trick.

He cared, about helping a washed up old man

and he succeeded.

He made self pity disappear

and dignity materialized with just four magic words.

I believe

in you.

[gentle upbeat music]

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet

the real magician here today.

He's a boy Brave and he's a Brave boy.

Webster Long.

[audience clapping] [gentle upbeat music]

Put it here Webster

How about that?

Magic.

[audience clapping]


- Thank you.

[audience clapping]

[gentle upbeat music]


- Webster.


- Will be back


- In a moment.[laughs]

[gentle uplifting music]


- Okay, boy Brave Long, front and center.


- Here we go.
- What's for?


- Well, you left something downstairs.


- My honor badge.


- Yep.
- Ta
-da!


- For caring enough to help another person.

I'm now presenting you with your honor badge.


- Congratulations cham.


- Thanks.

But I couldn't have done it without you guys.

So I guess this honor badge belongs to all of us.


- Thanks. Oh, and don't forget Pee
-Wee.


- Yeah. And it was nice uncle Jerry to give him a job.


- Yeah. It was nice of George

to persuade uncle Jerry to give him a job.

[audience laughing]


- And it was nice of Katherine

to remind George about caring.

[audience laughing]


- Boy, are we all nice?

I like life. [audience laughing]


- What's life?


- A magazine.


- How much?


- cents.


- Too much.


- That's tough.


- What's tough?


- Life.

[audience laughing]

[audience clapping] [gentle upbeat music]

[gentle upbeat music]

[gentle spirited music]