02x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

I'm Alyssa.

I'm 19.

[g*nsh*t]

[Alyssa] And I thought I already had
the shittest day of my life.

You look like a princess.

[Alyssa]
But this is actually worse.

[upbeat guitar music playing]

[Alyssa]
I got community service for what I did,

which wasn't as bad
as going back to school.

It's not easy,
what comes after something like that.

It's like you become a sh*t celebrity.

You become someone else.

Even to yourself.

But you can't go back
to who you were before.

I think my mum found what happened to me
even worse than I did.

[Gwen]
Please, Tony. Please don't leave me!

[door slams shut]

[breathing heavily]

I've kicked Tony out.

[Alyssa] She hadn't.

[sighs]

[Alyssa]
Mum went genuinely a bit mad after that.

She started talking about herself
in the third person.

I think Gwen needs a nap.

Okay.

[Alyssa]
It was too much, us staying there.

In that house, that town.

So we took the twins and left.

It meant missing the end of school,
but mum said that was okay.

You can finish it later.

Or get a job.

Or marry someone rich.

Sorry.

[Alyssa]
We went to live with my aunt, Leigh,

Mum's half-sister.

She runs a cafe,
and she doesn't trust deodorant

because of breast cancer.

I like her.

She said we could stay at her place
for as long as we wanted.

[Gwen wailing]

[Alyssa]
We've been here over a year now.

I don't think she meant that long.

It's good that Mum has someone else
to talk to.

Good for me.

It makes it easier for me to be okay.

And actually, I am okay.

I don't really feel anything any more.

It's good, not feeling.

It's like a superpower.

Leigh gave me a job.

Mainly, so that I had something to do,
I think.

This is what you might call irony.

See if Marvin can make
a banana split for me, you f*cking cu...

What can I get you?

Is that your real name?

You know it is.

[Alyssa]
Billy is Leigh's foster son.

It's sh*t.

[Alyssa] He's a sweet kid.

Okay.

Work's boring.

But I did meet Todd there.

Hiya.

[Alyssa]
He teaches canoeing to kids,

and he has quite strong opinions.

You know Finland?

It doesn't actually exist.

It's a fabricated land mass
made up by the Russians in the Cold w*r.

Right.

Is this a date?

Yeah.

Cool.

[Alyssa]
He's kind of like a dog.

In a good way.

He's also a really good kisser.

["Your Very First Love" playing]

My aunt's got a cabin by the lake.

Cool.

[Alyssa]
Sex is actually all right, it turns out.

It's not such a big deal.

I told him about everything.

sh*t.

Yeah.

Do you like chicken fajitas?

[Alyssa] He gets it.

Do you wanna get married?

Yeah, f*ck it, why not?

[Alyssa] Exactly, f*ck it.

[giggling excitedly]

[Alyssa]
Mum's pretty excited about the wedding.

She's really thrown herself
into the whole thing.

- Why are we doing this again?
- What, love?

The wedding is tomorrow, it fits.

It fit fine before.

Now...

it's perfect.

[Alyssa] Getting married young
is one of the most renegade things

you can do these days.

Mum's using Tony's divorce money
to pay for it,

which is also pretty maverick.

And I'm happy.

For the first time in ages,
I'm really happy.

♪ Chills and fever ♪

♪ Ooh, chills and fever ♪

♪ Chills and fever
Is what you give to me ♪

♪ When you hold my hand ♪

♪ And tell me that I'm your loving man ♪

♪ Kiss me... ♪

[Alyssa] Getting a b*llet in the post
should be threatening.

But it's hard to feel frightened
of someone

who can't spell your name right.

And clearly doesn't know where you live.

♪ Ooh, chills and fever ♪

♪ Ooh, chills and fever ♪

♪ Chills and fever
Is what you give to me ♪

♪ When it's late at night ♪

♪ And when, when you hold me tight ♪

♪ Tell me that you love me so ♪

♪ That you'll never, ever
Ever let me go ♪

♪ Ooh, chills and fever... ♪

[man] Excuse me.

You thought about k*lling yourself?

- What?
- I said, "Is there service included?"

Oh, no. Don't worry about it.

- Keep the change.
- Thanks.

[Alyssa]
Do you know whose car that is?

No. Why?

Dunno.

Nothing.

[Alyssa]
I used to be really good at knowing

when someone was watching me.

[meat sizzling]

[Alyssa] But now I'm not sure.

I'm probably just being paranoid.

- I'll be in the office.
- Okay.

[car engine starts]

[engine sputters and starts]

Oi!

What the f*ck?

Who are you?

Oh, my God.

["The End of the World" playing]

♪ Why does the sun keep on shining? ♪

♪ Why does the sea... ♪

[James] It was a fitting end.

A doomed love story.

[g*nsh*t]

[James] A perfect tragedy.

And then I didn't die.

[monitor beeping]

[James]
I was under 24-hour police surveillance

as I waited for a court date.

Are you gonna eat that?

No.

Do you, uh... Do you mind?

No.

Where's Alyssa?

[James] Alyssa and I weren't allowed
to see each other.

Not at all.

But I thought about her all the time.

[door closes]

Hello, James.

I've got some results to discuss with you.

Would you like your dad?

[James] My dad's response to me being sh*t
was to eat or cry.

[sniffles]

[James] Quite often at the same time.

Sorry, James.

No, that's all right.

Fine.

Well...

as you know, James, the information...

[James]
The b*llet had done quite a lot of damage.

She talked about my injuries,

about complications.

And things taking time.

And long roads ahead.

But in many ways,

James, you have been extremely lucky.

[James] I didn't feel lucky.

Okay.

[James]
I felt like I was being punished.

And maybe I deserved it.

James?

[James]
I'd never met Alyssa's mum before.

At first, she seemed quite nice.

How are you?

I'm okay.

- Would you like a yogurt?
- No. Thank you.

- How's Alyssa?
- [Gwen] You need to break up with her.

- What?
- The thing is, it's your fault, isn't it?

What happened.
I'm sure you didn't mean it, but...

you've ruined her life.

You've ruined everything.

Sorry.

What can you offer her?

Like... this?

No offense.

[James]
It was quite hard not to take offense.

[Gwen]
Are you going to be able to walk again?

I think so.

And they say you're going to prison.
Is that right?

I dunno.

Probably.

If you loved her, you'd let her go.

It's like that song.

[James] I didn't know the song
she was talking about.

But I had a feeling she might be right.

I thought you could write her a letter.

I don't want to.

Well, she needs to move on,
and you're no good for her.

I'm sorry.

But that's the truth.

[James] The truth was something
I'd been trying to ignore.

The harsher the better.

You know how stubborn she is.

I've got a stamp.

["I Love Her Still, I Always Will"
playing]

[James] I had a feeling
that Alyssa got the letter.

Because I never heard from her again.

♪ I'm sitting here ♪

♪ And she's sitting there ♪

♪ Making believe... ♪

[James] On the upside,
after a number of operations,

I was able
to start learning to walk again.

[breathing heavily]

[James]
And I didn't go to prison after all.

Get in!

[James] The jury agreed
I was acting in defence of another

and found me not guilty of m*rder.

The videotape definitely helped.

[Clive Koch] Stay still!

[James]
But I was given a suspended sentence

for various other misdemeanours.

I wanted to give my dad some money
for his new car.

But he wouldn't let me.

It's funny, the way people lie to be kind.

I think this is actually nicer to drive.

[James] After I nearly d*ed,

Dad signed up
for an online parenting course.

He started talking about his feelings.

I really value us spending time together.

Yeah.

I'm proud of you.

Thank you.

I think we should do
more activities together.

Okay.

[James]
Bowling did seem slightly ambitious,

given that I'd only recently got
the use of my legs back.

- This is brilliant, innit?
- [chuckles]

[Phil grunts]

[shouts] Yeah!

[laughs] I did it!

[James] But in the end,
it wasn't me I should have worried about.

[Phil wheezes]

["Ruler of My Heart" playing]

♪ Ruler of my heart ♪

♪ Driver of my soul ♪

♪ Where can you be? ♪

♪ I wait patiently... ♪

[James]
I never went back inside our house.

I couldn't even walk up the drive.

There was too much sadness in there.

♪ Where can you be? ♪

♪ I wait patiently ♪

♪ When you're alone ♪

♪ The going gets rough ♪

♪ Come back, come back, come back ♪

♪ I've had enough ♪

♪ Make me a queen ♪

♪ Happy again... ♪

Thank you.

♪ Hear my cry ♪

[song ends]

[James] In a strange way,

the b*llet gave me a new lease of life.

["This Would Make Me Happy" playing]

[James] A reason to see Alyssa again.

To check that she was okay.

To see her again.

♪ If your love ♪

♪ Was mine alone... ♪

Hello.

♪ If I had your heart ♪

♪ To call my own ♪

♪ This would make me happy ♪

♪ And I'll be, I'll be satisfied... ♪

[James] It's strange.

When someone's very important,
and you haven't seen them for a long time,

as soon as you do, it's easier to breathe.

♪ Was mine alone ♪

♪ If I had your heart ♪

♪ To call my own ♪

♪ This would make me happy ♪

♪ And I'll be, I'll be satisfied... ♪

[James]
I wanted to go and talk to her.

But then I realised that it was okay
if I just watched her.

Watched out for her.

Because you have to be vigilant
with people.

And I hadn't been.

Alyssa was my only person left.

♪ Like I'm loving you ♪

♪ And this would make me happy ♪

♪ And I'll never ♪

♪ No, I'll never let you go... ♪

sh*t.

sh*t.

sh*t.

[engine sputtering]

[engine sputters and starts]

Oi!

♪ And if faith ♪

♪ If faith alone can move a mountain... ♪

Who are you?

Oh, my God.

Hey.

For f*ck's sake.

["This Would Make Me Happy" continues]

♪ I do believe ♪

♪ I could win your love ♪

♪ And this would make me happy ♪

♪ And I know that you would be happy too ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And this, this would make me happy ♪

[song fades]