01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

[insects chirp]

[clinking]

[James] Things didn't always go entirely
to plan on my journey with Alyssa

Do you think it's gonna explode?

It's not a film

[Alyssa] If this was a film,
we'd probably be American

[rock music]

[Alyssa] Whoo!

Yeah!

[James] I kept wondering what sort
of sound she'd make when I k*lled her

[slash]

I needed to find somewhere quiet

Guess what freedom smells like?

- What?
- Cow sh*t

- Seat belt
- f*ck seat belts

So what do you wanna do?

I dunno

Because we can literally do anything,
James

Anything we want

[electronic pings]

g*n! g*n! g*n!

[James] Ironically,
I was not in my element

[electronic pings]

[shouts] Come on!

This is sh*t!

[Alyssa] Sometimes, I look at him
and I think, "Are you a bit dead?"

[muted 80s music]

Put your tongue in my ear

- What?
- I like it

[Alyssa giggles]

[man on PA system] Right, stop that now

Sorry

[James] Alyssa was really good
at annoying people

Thank God I smashed my phone

I bet my mum's been calling nonstop
Stupid bitch

How long till your dad calls the police?

What?

About the car

He won't

- Really?
- Yeah

He'll think I'm coming home soon

And he's a prick and everything,
but he's pretty optimistic

[TV laughter]

[clears his throat]

What?

What?

I like food

OK

[Alyssa] My mum says
that if food were her boyfriend,

she'd be in an abusive relationship

She says it like it's a joke,
but it's not

What?

[whispers] Did you bring money with you?

Didn't you?

Yeah. I just spent it at Laserkill

That was all your money

I didn't have to pay for you
I was being f*cking polite, actually

What are we going to do?

Well, it's just food

And we haven't eaten all of it
You haven't

The only rule with these things

is that you never steal from a small
or independent business

- Whose rule is that?
- My dad's

He's basically Robin Hood

He breaks the law,
but he's really moral

"If it's a chain, it's free rein."

- Say it
- "If it's a chain, it's free rein."

There you go. Otherwise,
you're basically funding terrorism

- Places like this are all run by the Man
- What man?

"The Man" man

The Man who, you know, owns all the oil,

forces Chinese children
to make smartphones and hates Palestine

Are you gonna be a p*ssy?

[James] Showing willing was
the best approach with Alyssa

No

[Alyssa] sh*t

[hard rock]

[suppressed giggle]
Nice one

- Seat belt!
- f*ck seat belts

[James] I had her
right where I wanted her

We should have sex

- What, now?
- Yeah

Take your top off

Erm, OK...

[James] I had to go along with it

Should...

- Should we stop?
- No

Keep driving

[James] But I wasn't sure sex was
something you could just go along with,

especially not as a man
[Alyssa giggles]

It's OK for women

They can just lie back,
think of England

Us men, we have to be England

[James] Stop! I think I'm stuck

[Alyssa laughs]

sh*t

Why are you laughing?

My dad loves this car

It's the most expensive thing
he's ever bought

[Alyssa laughs]

[Alyssa] What the f*ck
are we gonna do now?

[clinking]

Do you think it's gonna explode?

It's not a film

Come on

- Where are you going?
- Well, we can't drive it, can we?

I might be able to fix it
We can't just leave it

[loud bang]

Do you reckon you can still fix it?

What should we do?

[Alyssa] Go home

Do you wanna go home?

[Alyssa] Hang on
Does he want to go home?

You saying you wanna go home?

'Cause that's fine, can if you want

- No, I don't want to. I was just asking...
- I don't wanna go home, James

- But...
- I don't want to go home

- So what do you want to do?
- I don't know!

Why don't you f*cking think
of something for once?

[cr*ck]

[James] I couldn't have done it there

The car would've linked me to the crime

[soft country music]

♪ Walking all day
with my mouth on fire ♪

♪ Trying to get talking to you ♪

♪ Walking all day
with my mouth on fire ♪

♪ That's what I've gotta do ♪

♪ Trying to get talking to you ♪

♪ Walking all day
with my feet on fire ♪

♪ Trying to get closer to you ♪

♪ Walking all day with my feet on fire ♪

♪ That's what I've gotta do ♪

♪ Trying to get closer to you ♪

[James] Why is no one stopping?

[Alyssa] Probably
because you've got your tits out

I'm serious. No one stops for weirdos
except other weirdos

And you look like a proper day release

[car approaches]

[car slows down]

You all right?

Hi

I'm heading down south, son,
if it's any good to you

Do you want a lift or not?

Yeah. Thanks

Come on, then

Come on

Come on!

I am gonna be so f*cked off
if we get m*rder*d

[rock music]

[music stops]

[Alyssa] I can't believe
he got in the front

Grab us that sweater in the back, there,
love. Chuck it down to your boyfriend

Who said he's my boyfriend?

[James] Alyssa was starting
to test my patience

[screech]

Are you all right, love?

Is she all right, son?

She's fine

You're funny, you. I like you

[man chortles]

- That your dog?
- Nearly, I'm buying her

- She's cute, though, ain't she?
- Yeah

Not for long, mind

She's a cane corso

What's that?

Number 23 on the Top 25
Most Dangerous Dog List

For fighting

- They expensive?
- Just a bit

You know your car smells like feet

[man laughs]

One of the lads had a couple,
in Fallujah

- They're lethal, I tell ya
- You were in the army?

Five year

Cool

So tell me, then,
what you two been up to, eh?

Come on, I ain't gonna say anything
What's the matter with ya?

Well, we haven't done anything

[laughs] Sure

I couldn't give a f*ck either way, I'm...

I'm just making conversation, you know?
I'm not a f*cking copper

[man laughs]

I just thought, you know, you...

You might wanna make
a phone call to your mum or something

Let her know you're OK

My mum's dead, actually

[scratchy guitar]

I thought you said your mum was
in Japan?

So?

So it's a bit different
from being dead, isn't it?

This guy's a prick

What?

[sighs] He's, like,
the worst kind of person

He's all right

Why are you defending him?
He's a m*rder*r

- What?
- He was in the army

He's m*rder*d people

And now he's buying a dog
to m*rder other dogs with

Here you go

Thanks

Yeah

Is that your family?

That's the missus, Liz

Abi

That's Baby Jack

Jack looks like a potato

You what, love?

Joke!

Joking

He looks like a ham

He does, though, doesn't he?

No

You guys are so f*cking boring

Sorry

Don't be daft, son

She's a bit full-on, ain't she? The bird

Oh... Yeah, she can be

Well...

That's women, eh?

Yeah

Maybe

What was it like?

In the army

Ah, it was all right, you know

Did you k*ll people?

It's part of the job, son

How many?

Well, be a bit sick
to keep count, wouldn't it?

[James] I'd have definitely kept count

- I'm gonna go to the...
- Oh, yeah, sure

- Toilet
- Sure, sure

I say, son

I might as well join you
Put one in the bag, you know

[distant traffic]

[Alyssa] I'm bad
at apologizing to people,

but sometimes I know I should

What happened to your hand?

[James] Sometimes, I just...

let things happen

Even though I didn't want them to

I'm not sure why

What's going on?

Are you gay?

No

- It's OK if you are
- I'm not

- But you should tell me if you are
- I'm not gay

So what are you doing?

Where do you think you're going?

Well, I... gotta go

The dog's not gonna collect herself,
now is she?

Gimme your wallet

You what?

Give me your wallet

No. No...

Give me your wallet or I swear to f*ck

I'll go visit Liz and Abi
and your weird potato baby,

and tell them what you like to do
with teenage boys in toilets

You wouldn't do that

I'll tell the police, too

[door slams]

He put my hand there

You know that if people wanna do stuff
to you, you don't have to let them

Yeah

Do you?

Yeah

So why did you?

Did something bad happen to you
when you were small?

No

I'm tired

[evening birds tweeting]

- A double room?
- Yup

A double room with a double bed
for double sex

[Muzak]

[Alyssa] I really need to cry

[crickets chirping]

- Do you wanna watch TV?
- OK

[TV audience applauds]

Find some p*rn

[TV] Are you ready
to answer the big question?

[moaning]

[gentle acoustic music]

[moaning continues]

Where are you going?

Toilet

[door opens]

[whimpers]

[breathes heavily]

[Alyssa sniffles and cries]

♪ Suddenly it's there ♪

♪ On a Saturday night ♪

♪ When you're feeling alive and calm ♪

♪ And all the children inside ♪

[toilet flushes]
♪ Meet before the sun ♪

sh*t

♪ To keep them warm and dry ♪

You all right?

I'm going to the vending machine

OK

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hello?

Is that you, Alyssa?

It is you, innit?

Can I speak to my mum?

She doesn't wanna speak to you

Mmm. It's good

[moaning]

- Can I turn it off?
- Yeah

[silence]

I can't go home. Like, ever

- You can
- I don't want to

Do you want me?

What?

Do you want me,
or do you just go along with things?

I want you

I'm gonna go to my dad's
You can come if you want

Yeah

OK

- James?
- Yeah?

Will you cuddle me?

[soft indie music]

♪ Give ♪

♪ Me all your love now ♪

♪ 'Cause for all we know ♪

♪ We might be dead by tomorrow ♪

♪ I can't ♪

♪ Go on wasting the time ♪

♪ Adding scars to my heart ♪

♪ 'Cause all I hear is,
"I'm not ready enough" ♪

Police, please

♪ And I can tell that you didn't have ♪

♪ To face your mother
losing her lover ♪

♪ Without saying goodbye ♪

♪ Without saying goodbye ♪

♪ 'Cause she didn't have time ♪