01x16 - Cactus Kid/Mothers Glove

[bunniefuu]

Announcer:miracle city,

A spicy cesspool of crime

And villainy.

This is the story of

Manny rivera,

Better known as...

[Manny roars]

Manny: el tigre!

Son of the legendary hero...

White pantera!

Grandson of the evil

Supervillain...

Puma loco.

["El tigre" theme plays...]

Crowd: el tigre!

[Sirens wailing]

[Cheering]

El tigre!

[♪...]

[♪...] [Roaring]

[Roaring]

[Roars]

[Roars] crowd: el tigre!

Crowd: el tigre!

Crowd: el tigre! [♪...]

[♪...]

[Sign squeaking]

[Sign squeaking] [spurs jingling]

[Spurs jingling]

Aye, a robbery.

[Register rings]

Good luck, cactus kid.

[Alarm rings]

Teller: ah, bandito.

Have a safe trip.

[Woman screams]

Come back with that cd

Player.

Player. You should steal a newer one.

You should steal a newer one.

Man: hooray for the

Cactus kid.

The biggest little supervillain

San pueblito has ever had.

[All cheering]

Everybody...

Y'all are the best.

Now hand over your loot.

[Cheering]

Oh, mama, papa...

[Sniffles] I'm gonna make you

Proud...

I'm gonna make you all proud.

In miracle city, where the

Supervillain is king.

[Townspeople cheering]

Granpapi: please...

You promise today we steal the

Lion from the zoo.

Sorry.

Today's the day the market

Dumps all its expired food.

Come on.

We're gonna miss the melons.

Granpapi: you losing focus.

I try helping you be great

Supervillain, and you only have

Time for hero stuff.

What hero stuff?

We're gonna throw rotten food.

Ah, you see?

A supervillain would throw

Fresh food.

Fresh food. Is more wasteful.

Is more wasteful.

[Hubcap rattles]

[Deep inhale]

Golly, what's that smell?

Bandito: a spicy cesspool.

I love it.

Miracle city,

Miracle city, I'm a-gonna make you mine.

I'm a-gonna make you mine.

Give me your money or I'll

Fill you so full of needles

You'll have to date porcupines.

I'm gonna date?

Hey, back of the line,

Tenderfoot.

[Growls]

[expl*si*n]

Ok, "mangs".

Let's go sew some counterfeit

Money.

Howdy, I'm new in town

But I'm...

[Laughing]

You gots a cactus on your

You gots a cactus on your heads, mang.

Heads, mang.

Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

Ha-ha, cactus, mangs...

[Laughing]

Oh, why doesn't manny want to

Be a supervillian?

Hands up, old man...

Ow, it hurts my face

When you hit it.

Sorry, I thought you were

A supervillain trying to steal

My stealings.

But... [Sniffles]

I am a supervillain.

[Laughing]

[Bawling]

Ay, I no can stand to see the

Childrens cry.

[Sobbing]

...better.

[Manny and frida laughing]

Stale muffin.

Rancid pork.

Expired chili.

Expired chili. Hey, no canned goods.

Hey, no canned goods.

Cactus kid: [muffled]:

Hey, come on.

I'm gonna be famous.

I'm gonna be famous. Let me out, come on.

Let me out, come on.

Yes, is perfect.

I use new villain boy to make

Manny jealous.

Make him see what he's missing

On the side of evil.

[Laughing]

Why are you talking

To yourself?

Because I old.

Is what we do.

Frida, my friend, there is

Truly no expiration date for

Awesomeness.

Yeah.

Granpapi: good,

Now double time.

And wallet grab, wallet grab.

Now slap the monkey,

Slap the monkey.

Ah, manny.

I want you to meet my new evil

Apprentice, the cactus boy.

The cactus kid.

Who told you to stop

Monkey slapping?

New apprentice?

Yes, apprentice.

You know, somebody I can share

My experience, train in the

Ways of supervillaining,

Sometimes steal an ice cream

Cone together.

But, that's the stuff you

And me do.

Yes, but you too busy

For evil.

If you no wanna be

Supervillain, I get this new

One for take your place.

Go on, show them your mighty

Power.

Ha-ha, eh...

What is you mighty power?

Just a little something

Just a little something called... Cactus control.

Called... Cactus control.

You make cactuses droop?

And I also make them dance.

Wow, that's really...

Observable.

Um... Are you trying to make

Me jealous here?

'Cause it's really not...

What?

I?

I? Is ridiculous.

Is ridiculous.

I fully believe cactus boy is

The glorious future of

Supervillaining.

Now come, cactus b... Kid.

Is time for do evil.

[Snickers] oh, man,

[Snickers] oh, man, we gotta see this.

We gotta see this.

[expl*si*n]

[expl*si*n] [alarm sounds]

[Alarm sounds]

[Sounds of fighting]

[Both laughing]

[Both laughing] [expl*si*n]

[expl*si*n]

[Laughing]

[Glass breaks]

[Alarm sounds]

Whoa...

[Siren blares]

[Laughing]

[Lion roars]

[Laughing]

[Lion roars]

[Heavy sigh]

I remember when he

Used to use me as bait

Huh?

Dude, you are not jealous of

The guy who makes cactuses bend.

No, but I really haven't been

Hangin' out with granpapi much

Lately.

I gotta go apologize.

Apologize?

This calls for action.

You have an idea?

Maybe...

Ok, no.

Wait, got one.

Ok, today you learn

How not to get hit by bricks.

[Gasps]

Oh, hey granpapi.

I figured since the cactus kid

Is gonna be the "famousest"

Supervillain ever, he deserves

Some fun time with the

Legendary el tigre.

We're gonna cheat at darts

And enter an illegal street race

And rob the old folks' home.

Say, isn't that all

Stuff you like to do with manny?

Doesn't that make you...

I don't know... Jealous?

Jealous?

Why I be jealous?

So he turn a table on me.

Is all fair in love and...

[Growls]

Is like you rip my heart out

And feed it to the donkeys!

If you can't take the

Heat, don't add the chiles.

How you dare?

Is "disrespecty".

Well, I learned if from you.

[Sounds of fighting]

Huh, in my head there was

More hugging.

What are you so mad about?

You're the one who started

All this.

I start it?

You the one don't want to do

Evil no more.

So you replaced me with some

Geeky wannabe supervillain kid?

Bah, I just using him.

That goofy ball never going to

That goofy ball never going to be a real villain.

Be a real villain.

Harsh...

Uh, I'm... I'm a joke to you?

A patsy?

You made a fool of

The cactus kid.

The cactus kid. Now you will pay.

Now you will pay.

Sufferin' saguaros.

Sufferin' saguaros. Now that is cactus power.

Now that is cactus power.

[Roars]

[Cactus kid cackles]

So, riveras.

Who's a real supervillain now?

Who's a real supervillain now? Both: you.

Both: you.

The kid got game.

Get ready for some

Cactus "paybacktus".

Stay back, manny.

This is job for man in metal

Suit.

...aye.

I got no control crazy hands.

I got no control crazy hands. Nobody hugs my granpapi.

Nobody hugs my granpapi.

Ooh.

[Panting]

Whoo, dude, you guys have

Whoo, dude, you guys have a ton of stair...

A ton of stair...

Y'all are gonna learn the

Hard way that nobody messes

With the cactus kid.

Now say your good-byes, riveras.

I sorry I get mad, manny.

Even if you going to be hero

Instead of evil,

You still my grandson.

I'm sorry, too.

But don't worry, I'm pretty

Sure a real hero would never

End a fight with a low-down,

Dirty move like this.

[Roars]

Hi-yah!

Hi-yah! [Audible struggle throughout]

[Audible struggle throughout]

[Audible struggle throughout] hi-yah!

Hi-yah!

Never I see such

Never I see such unspeakable badness.

Unspeakable badness.

I... [Gasps] so proud.

I learned that from you,

Granpapi.

Cactus kid: I'd like to go

Cactus kid: I'd like to go to jail now, please.

To jail now, please.

So, who up for some stealing?

Me.

I could use some new socks.

Cactus kid: y'all done made

My dream come true.

Every real supervillain needs

An arch-nemesis.

And today, I swear my revenge

Against the rivera family.

I was just walking home

From work.

Ok, good-bye.

Cactus "paybacktus".

[Siren blares]

"Mama, papa, I did it.

Your boy done good.

Your boy done good. Really good."

Really good."

Really good." [♪...]

[♪...]

[Birds chirping]

[Wind blows]

Manny: people just don't know

How to siesta anymore.

[Yawns]

Frida: we must keep the

Ancient art of napping alive.

[Yawning]: like sleep ninjas.

["Turkey in the straw" plays]

["Turkey in the straw" plays] it'srobasuraday.

It'srobasuraday.

It'srobasuraday. [Bell dings]

[Bell dings]

[Bell dings] [children cheering...]

[Children cheering...]

Children: shred it, shred it.

Shred it.

Shred it. Eh.

Eh.

[Cheering]

We gotta get something to

Shred, quick.

Where can we find garbage?

Where can we find garbage? Both: the attic

Both: the attic

Irreplaceable

Family heirloom?

Manny: garbage.

Granpapi's liver medication?

Garbage.

Big sack of money?

Ha-ha, garbage.

Dude, big locked box.

Manny: "warning."

"Danger."

"Do not open."

Wow, it's like an us trap.

Wait, maybe your dad planted

It here.

Yeah, to test us.

I fail.

I fail. Me too.

Me too.

Me too. Ahem, allow me.

Ahem, allow me.

Both: whoa...

Whose glove is this?

[Startled shout]

[Creaks open]

[Spring "boings"]

[Spring "boings"] frida: follow that glove.

Frida: follow that glove.

Frida: follow that glove. ...ooh, there it goes, come on.

...ooh, there it goes, come on.

...ooh, there it goes, come on. [Crash]

[Crash]

[Crash] you, how did you find me?

You, how did you find me?

No, I had to lock you up.

I... Manny.

I was just finding a book for

This mystical glove of power

That I've never seen before.

What glove? There's no glove.

You must be imagining there's

A glove that I've never seen.

[Laughing]

No, I swore I would never put

You on again.

Mom, what's going on?

There's something you

Don't know about me.

Something shocking.

Ah, nothing shocks me.

I was once... A superhero.

[Babbling]: guh-bluh

Huzzle floygin?

[Glass shatters]

I was in college.

Man: look out.

Maria: I went to this party,

And someone had brought some

Mystical objects of power,

And i... Tried one on.

Things were crazy back then.

Things were crazy back then. It was a different time.

It was a different time.

[Electrical buzzing]

[expl*si*n]

...i was known as

Plata peligrosa.

At first it was fun-

At first it was fun- saving people, thwarting evil.

Saving people, thwarting evil.

But then...

Then...

Then... [Panting]

[Panting]

[Hyperventilating]

[Hyperventilating] here we go.

Here we go.

Mom, this is great.

We can do stuff together, use

Our powers for good... Or evil.

Whatever, I'm easy.

[Pops]

No, manny... Never.

I gave up my powers because

I couldn't handle the danger.

Now lock that glove back up and

Now lock that glove back up and let us never speak of it again.

Let us never speak of it again.

This is awesome.

If we can get my mom to put

That glove on...

You'll have a parent

Who's a superhero.

Who's a superhero. How cool would that be?

How cool would that be?

Not only will we get to

See mom kick bad guy booty,

But maybe she won't freak out

So much when I use my powers.

[Giggles]: you said,

"Booty-butt."

This is the chance of

A lifetime.

Plata peligrosa will fight

Plata peligrosa will fight again.

Again.

Hey, mom.

We just wanted to see if you

Wanted to...

Uh, go play catch?

Need a glove?

Or you can just cheer us on.

We're number one... Heh-heh.

Everybody loves an oven mitt.

Me llamo senorhand puppet.

Boxing glove.

Say adios to dishpan hands.

Manny, I told you to lock

That glove up.

Yeah, but [gasps]... A novel

In the reference section.

Where?

[Gasps]

[Gasps] manny, what have you done?

Manny, what have you done?

Manny, what have you done? [expl*si*n]

[expl*si*n]

Mom, I'm sorry, I didn't...

Plata peligrosa!

Whoa.

Old feelings returning.

Power coursing through veins.

Costume chafing slightly.

But you're ok?

Yes.

And you are a very bad boy.

Your punishment is...

To come fight some bad guys

With me.

Cool.

Evildoers, beware

The mighty fist of...

Plata peligrosa.

And the claws of...

[Roars]

[Roars] el tigre.

El tigre.

Frida: wait up.

Frida: wait up. ["La cucaracha" plays...]

["La cucaracha" plays...]

That was awesome, mom.

Whoo, I'm so used to you

Being all "hyperventilatey" and

Junk, but now you're...

Junk, but now you're... [High-pitched w*r cry]

[High-pitched w*r cry]

[High-pitched w*r cry] [w*r cry continues]

[w*r cry continues]

Ok, then.

Uh, mom?

Maybe we should call it a day.

Yeah, you must be tired

From all that being crazy.

No!

We need more bad guys,

More action, more danger.

Plata peligrosa!

Mom, wait.

She seems a little...

Bonkers? Cuckoo?

Crackers? Loco?

It's not that bad.

I mean, it's not like she's

I mean, it's not like she's totallyout of control.

Totallyout of control.

[Cackles] come on out.

I'll fight you all at once.

I'll fight you all at once. You were saying?

You were saying?

Uh, hey, mom, what ya doing?

Picking a fight with

These villainous weaklings.

You'll pay for that, mang.

I'll crush you.

Oh, my feelings.

[Sobbing]

This is nuts.

I thought you quit superheroing

Because you couldn't handle the

Danger.

I couldn't handle how much

Ilovedthe danger.

I was afraid it would become an

Obsession, but now I know that

I am perfectly in control.

[Deranged cackle]

For a hero, she gots

A good evil laugh, mang.

Mom, this has to stop

You've been spending too much

Time with that evil granpapi

Of yours.

Your father would never back

Down from a fight with villains.

He also wouldn't have

Busted them out of jail.

You... You're right,mijo.

I've got it all wrong.

It's ok, you were...

Why bother withthese

Villains?

I should be fighting the fiend

Who masterminded their escape.

Um, wouldn't that be... You?

Exactly.

Plata peligrosa.

Beware the mighty fist of...

Plata peligrosa!

[Struggling/grunting]

[Growling]

Villains: get up.

Let you have it.

[Laughing]

[Shouts]

[Sounds of fighting]

Stick and move, mang,

Stick and move.

Stop hitting my mom... Mom.

Only a villain would help

A villain like me.

I will make you pay.

[Spitting]

She's doing what now?

No, mom, you don't mean it.

That's the glove talking.

That's the glove talking. Manny...run.

Manny...run.

Manny...run. [Villains laughing]

[Villains laughing]

[Robasuramusic plays]

All:robasura.

All:robasura. Mom, duck.

Mom, duck.

All: aww.

Mang.

Mom, are you ok?

I'm... I'm all right.

This is all my fault.

I never should have put that

Glove on you.

Oh,mijo.

And I never should have tried

To crush you into a m*nled,

Jelly-like wad of gore.

Jelly-like wad of gore. [Gags]

[Gags]

We need to get you

Out of here, mom.

It's too dangerous.

Yes, of course.

Oh, my, what a day we had...

With the fighting...

And the hurting and the...

[Hyperventilating]

Frida: ok, let's go find you

A nice quiet paper bag to

Breathe into.

[Growling]

[All growling]

Uh... [Giggles].

Obviously, this has all been

A huge mistake, so if you guys

Would just go back to jail, i...

Would just go back to jail, i... [Sounds of fighting]

[Sounds of fighting]

[Sounds of fighting] I got it handled, mom.

I got it handled, mom.

I got it handled, mom. ["El tigre" theme plays]

["El tigre" theme plays]

[Kids cheering]

El tigre: guh-bluh

El tigre: guh-bluh huzzle floygin?