01x15 - Burrito's Little Helper/Crouching Tigre, Hidden Dragon

[bunniefuu]

Announcer:miracle city,

A spicy cesspool of crime

And villainy.

This is the story of

Manny rivera,

Better known as...

[Manny roars]

Manny: el tigre!

Son of the legendary hero...

White pantera!

Grandson of the evil

Super-villain...

Puma loco.

["El tigre" theme plays...]

Crowd: el tigre!

[Sirens wailing]

[Cheering]

El tigre!

[♪...]

[♪...] [Roaring]

[Roaring]

[Roars]

[Roars] crowd: el tigre!

Crowd: el tigre!

Crowd: el tigre! [♪...]

[♪...]

Dude, something on your shoe.

Please?

I no longer wish to be the

Albino burrito, solitary

Defeater of "crimeliness."

I want to be your sidekick.

Uh, let me think about it.

No!

[Crickets chirping]

I'm tired of working solo.

Lonely is the path of the hero.

Lonely is the path of the hero. [Alarm blaring]

[Alarm blaring]

[Panting]

I crave companionship.

No man is an island...

No man is an island... [Crashing]

[Crashing]

Ok, now you've gone too far.

I weary of heroic

"Aloneliness."

I got to be your sidekick.

Please?

Take a hint, davi.

You're...

You're too good to be my

Sidekick.

But i... What?

Heck, last time we worked

Together, you b*at a giant

Robot.

I'm outclassed.

I ought to beyoursidekick, but

Darn the luck, I'm not available

Right now.

Ok, got to go, bye.

Davi: my sidekick?

Wow, i...

Wow, i... [Flushing]

[Flushing]

See?

Nobody would ever look for us

Here.

There you are.

[Screaming]

He's not human.

I got to show you my new

w*apon, the mexican hat dance of

Ultimate power.

By dancing around this hat, I

Can unleash a force savage

Enough to rend the fabric of

Existence.

I just got to wind this up.

Reality is not for everyone.

[♪...]

Davi, dancing is not a

w*apon.

[Grunting]

[Grunting] ow, ow, ooh, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ow, ooh, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Hey, it's banana pudding day

In the cafeteria.

You want to be my sidekick?

Then you got to keep up with...

[Growling]

El tigre.

El tigre. You need moves like these.

You need moves like these.

That can't be good.

Don't worry, sir.

Your grandmother's priceless

Book of recipes will be safe

Here...

[Wheezing]

Grandma's recipes, all gone.

Her tamales, her meatless chili

Her tamales, her meatless chili con carne.

Con carne.

Rivera!

If you did this, you will be

Expelled.

[Gasping]

And then prosecuted, and then

Imprisoned forever.

I will ruin your life, as you

Have ruined mine.

Have ruined mine. [Laughing]

[Laughing]

Davi, sidekick for a week if

You take the blame.

I did it.

Me, me, me!

You?

Yes, yes, I'm bad.

Very bad.

I let that skunk loose in the

Gym.

I filled your car with flan.

And I defaced the school.

Yeah, looks like I'm getting

A free pass too.

Well, if it really was you,

And not this boy-shaped chunk of

Evil, then don't do it again.

That's a good student.

Have a cookie.

Uh, hi, mom.

Uh, hi, mom. I don't want to know.

I don't want to know.

Yay!

El tigre is my sidekick for a

Whole week!

What?

Me, your sidekick?

Yeah, remember?

You said I'm so good, you should

Be my sidekick.

Dude, did you say that?

Yeah, but...

Yay!

I'm not doing this.

You got to.

If you don't, davi might rat you

Out to vice principal chakal.

[Stammering], you think?

We can't take the chance.

If you get expelled, I'll be in

School alone.

I'll have to walk to school

Alone.

I'll have to eat lunch alone.

I'll have to pay attention in

Class.

Is that what you want?

Alone?

No!

So, we should talk about what

I expect from a sidekick.

We can use this book as a guide.

Manny: how to be a superhero.

It's information I've

Gathered from thousands of comic

Books.

In here are all the rules you

Need to follow as my sidekick.

Oh, how interesting.

Excuse me.

Alone.

Let's see.

Ah, sidekick rule one.

A sidekick must follow his

Hero's every command, ok?

Can I get a burrito bellow?

Hee-haw.

I can't do this.

I can't do this. [Growling]

[Growling]

I can do this.

Hee?

Haw.

Chorus: ♪ albino burrito

[Grunting]

Calm yourself, "imperilated"

Feline.

I shall save you.

Get a load of rule two.

A sidekick must encourage his

Hero with supportive sayings.

Oh, yeah.

Do that, do that, do that.

Too bad I don't know any.

That's ok, there's a list of

Them to choose from.

Them to choose from. Alone.

Alone.

Gosh, albino burrito, you're

The swellest.

That's why you're the boss, a.b.

When you're our hero, crime's a

Zero.

Man!

You're free.

[Manny screaming]

Excellent work, loyal sidekick.

Excellent work, loyal sidekick. Chorus: ♪ albino burrito

Chorus: ♪ albino burrito

The flock of fury.

We got to stop them.

Rule number three is funny.

Rule number three.

Dang.

A sidekick must help his hero

Make a dramatic entrance.

You got to sing my theme song

Before I go in.

I'm not gonna...

Alone.

C-flat, please.

[Playing musical note]

[Clearing throat]

♪ Albino burrito, albino

Burrito, albino burrito ♪

Burrito, albino burrito ♪ [beeping]

[Beeping]

[Flock of fury laughing]

And don't come back.

Ew, that kind of thing never

Heals right.

Manny: ai-ai-ai.

Ooh, I forgot to give you a

Costume.

As my sidekick, you'll be macho

Moose.

Chorus: ♪ albino burrito

[Sirens blaring]

A robbery is afoot.

Macho moose, my theme song, if

You please.

[Sighing]

♪ Albino burrito, albino

Burrito ♪

Hey, man, it's el tigre.

Not el tigre.

He's my new sidekick, macho

Moose.

Moose. [Laughing]

[Laughing]

Take me in, "mangs."

I can't wait to tell

"Everybodies" in prison about

Macho moose.

[Laughing]

Oh, macho moose.

That is absolutely,

Positively it!

I can't stand it anymore.

You are the worst superhero of

All time.

You don't deserve a sidekick.

[Gasping]

Dude.

Dude. [Sobbing]

[Sobbing]

Oh, man.

It's like you kicked a puppy.

A lost, unemployed puppy, with a

Cold.

Cold. Oh, davi, wait.

Oh, davi, wait.

Davi, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it, buddy.

[Sniffling]: yes you did, and

You were right.

I've never been a good

Superhero.

I've just been fooling myself.

I've just been fooling myself. I'm a fraud.

I'm a fraud.

I'm a fraud. [Gasping]

[Gasping]

Ma'am.

Uh, davi?

Look out!

[Screaming]

[Screaming] [growling]

[Growling]

[Growling] hey, let go.

Hey, let go.

Manny: davi, get help.

My sidekick, in danger.

I must save him with the mexican

Hat dance of ultimate power.

I said get help, from someone

I said get help, from someone who's not you.

Who's not you.

Davi, I'm gonna get eaten here!

All right, I'm gonna dance.

You kiss that monster.

What?

No way!

No way! Just do it.

Just do it.

[Laughing]

[Laughing] [growling]

[Growling]

[Growling] [crying]

[Crying]

[Grunting]

[Crying]

[Crying] [both growling...]

[Both growling...]

Davi, that was brilliant.

How did you know which one was

The girl?

One of them was a girl?

You did it, manny.

No, the albino burrito did

It.

Davi, I'm sorry.

That's ok, el tigre.

Call me macho moose.

Too bad your hat dance didn't

Work, huh?

Hey, maybe it's 'cause you

Didn't do the clap at the end.

Don't!

Don't! [expl*si*n]

[expl*si*n]

[Panting]

Manny, what...?

No, I don't want to know.

No, I don't want to know. Rivera!

Rivera!

One more week.

One more week. I did it.

I did it.

I did it. [♪...]

[♪...]

[♪...] [Mechanical whirring]

[Mechanical whirring]

Behold the glory of the

Miracle city moleé pits.

Chocolately-hot moleé sauce,

Chocolately-hot moleé sauce, bubbling to the surface.

Bubbling to the surface.

Often, when I need to think, I

Come here to enjoy the quiet

Beauty of the outdoors.

[Traffic noises]

Ah.

Now let us go home before the

Fumes poison us.

Oh, good, you are collecting

Moleé for dinner.

Uh, yeah.

For dinner.

Dude, bet you can't bank it off

Dude, bet you can't bank it off the mule, into the taxi.

The mule, into the taxi.

The mule, into the taxi. Moleé!

Moleé!

Ah,perfecto.

[Doorbell ringing]

San adu!

It is...

The industrialist,

"Guardianer" of the

"Defriendless."

Cosmic cleopatra, protector

Of the earth.

And the silver sombrero, the

Fearless, and so handsome,

Fearless, and so handsome, master of the flying sombrero.

Master of the flying sombrero.

Together, we are...

The league of alliance

Society.

This is a great honor.

May I offer you some chicken

Moleé?

It is a secret recipe that...

It is a secret recipe that... Secret recipe?

Secret recipe?

I am sorry for your cookware,

But the villain we seek also has

A secret recipe, for evil.

Cosmic cleopatra: we call

Him the dragonworm.

[Growling]

Silver sombrero: he has been

Traveling the world, obtaining

The secret ingredients that will

Make him unstoppable.

He has already found three of

The four ingredients.

If the dragonworm eats the

Fourth ingredient, he will

Become invincible, and all we

Know is that his final strike

Will be in miracle city.

[Gasping]

Eh.

We can end the dragonworm's

Reign of bad karma, but we need

Help.

Someone local, who...

[Shrieking]

I accept.

Ooh, ooh, I've always dreamed of

Joining the league.

I still have all the copies of

My fan letters you never

Answered.

Look, the theme song I wrote for

You when I was .

♪ We're the league

Of alliance society ♪

♪ Surrender and come

Along quietly ♪

Oh, nice, but actually, the

Hero we have come for is el

Tigre.

[Gasping]

[Sobbing]: no, no, no.

Let's see what else we've got

To splatter... Our respect for

The law, everywhere.

High-fives for good

Citizenship?

Look, he hit peoples with the

Moleé.

He too evil for the hero league,

Si?

[Laughing]

Please?

That's why we want him,

"Campadro."

El tigre has street smarts.

Without one who knows miracle

City's dark underbelly, we will

Never find the dragonworm.

El tigre, the league needs

You.

Will you join our noble cause?

Eh, me and frida were gonna

Go throw rocks at stuff.

As a reminder, I am still

Available.

Come on, kid.

You'll get your own official

League hypno-medal, huh?

Ooh, me likey shiny swing-swing

Toy.

[Mumbling]

Frida suarez.

I'll be negotiating on behalf of

Mr. El tigre.

Let's talk secret h.q.

What are we looking at here?

Cave?

Undersea base?

Undersea base? Giant flying ultra-blimp.

Giant flying ultra-blimp.

Balloon, big, me want.

I think we can make a deal.

Welcome to the league,

"Muchico."

Now guide us, oh striped one.

Where do we start looking for

The dragonworm?

Uh, we should definitely

Uh, we should definitely check the candy factory.

Check the candy factory.

My grandson, in a hero team.

I guess you're happy now.

I guess you're happy now. So happy.

So happy.

No dragon in the candy corn.

Let's check the sour worms.

He's not in the arcade.

Not at the skate park.

Not on the roller coaster.

[Screaming]

[Screaming] it's not in the pawn shop.

It's not in the pawn shop.

Not in the rocket ship, either.

Not in the rocket ship, either. Over.

Over.

And then at the arcade, the

Silver sombrero let me throw his

Sombrero at a guy.

You threw the mighty flying

Sombrero?

And cleo, she's so cool.

She let me help potty train her

Power vipers.

Really?

You were right about these

Guys, dad.

I'm having the best day ever.

Yes, it must be like a dream

Come true.

Manny, come on.

Last one to the ultra-blimp has

To blend the milkshakes.

Whoa, found my mega-grande

Glass!

Mega-grande milkshakes?

[Wheezing]

No, white pantera does not give

Up.

I will show them that i, too,

I will show them that i, too, have the smarts of the streets.

Have the smarts of the streets.

Golly, I could go for some

Criminal activity.

Who else is digging my scene?

Hands?

[People growling]

[People growling] [fight noises]

[Fight noises]

Oh, white pantera.

I did not think you could

Embarrass yourself any more.

It's not like me to be so wrong.

Ow.

[Laughter]

Constructive criticism,

Child.

We're only trying to nurture.

Ow.

Ow. [Laughter]

[Laughter]

Why can't those guys show my

Dad some respect?

I wish they could see him for

What he is, a super-macho

Superhero.

Frida: no prob.

We just pull a shanghai

"Swapadoo."

You mean build a fake monster

And let my dad kick its butt in

Front of the league so they

Could see how macho he is?

Yeah.

My own son thinks I need a

Charity battle?

Rodolfo...

[Gasping]

What eavesdropping?

I was testing our fire escape

Plan.

It works...

[Crashing]

Frida, my dad will never need

A charity battle.

Maybe I'll just get him a tie.

Maybe I'll just get him a tie. To the tie shop!

To the tie shop!

There you are, dad.

I want to give you something.

I already know,mijo.

I cannot accept your charity

Gift.

Gift. It's stripey.

It's stripey.

It's stripey. [Growling]

[Growling]

It's the dragonworm.

Oh yeah.

I forgot we were looking for

That guy.

Face...

[Growling]

...el tigre!

Nice puppet, but you can see

The strings.

Quick, dad, before it finds

The last secret ingredient and

Becomes unstop... [Gasping].

[Silver sombrero laughing]

Finally, the dragon has taken

Our bait.

The last secret ingredient: one

Piping hot tiger.

What?

I'm the secret ingredient?

You used me.

Yes, another flawless plan

ex*cuted to perfection by the

League of...

[Manny screaming]

[Manny screaming] [alarm blaring]

[Alarm blaring]

[Growling]

[Growling] hey, I wasn't done boasting.

Hey, I wasn't done boasting.

[Growling]

Thank you for trying, manny,

But you can come out of the

Fakey dragon now.

[Grunting]

[Sighing]

Very well.

Since you went to all this

Trouble, giant pretend puppet

Creature, witness the fury of

White pantera.

[Grunting]

Take that, and this.

Ha-ha-ho, had enough?

All right, dragon.

You want to eat something?

Eat this!

Feel my wrath, spleen.

Have some pain, pancreas.

Hope you're not important, brown

Squiggle thing.

[Dragonworm screaming]

[Dragonworm screaming] [manny grunting]

[Manny grunting]

Dad, you saved me.

Yes, yes, I saved you from

The phony drag... [Gasping].

That dragon spit is real, which

Means...

Mijo,i let jealousy blind me,

And i, I nearly lost you.

Forgive me.

Your dad apologized to you.

It's like some crazy backwards

Universe.

Ask for brass knuckles.

Pantera, we sure

"Misunderestimated" you.

[Laughing]

So mighty, so heroic, so

So mighty, so heroic, so manly.

Manly.

Please, you must join the

League of alliance society.

We beg you.

No, I could never join a team

That would use my son as dragon

Bait.

And your milkshakes taste

Like cat pee.

Like cat pee. I quit.

I quit.

Wait, you can't leave.

Come on, I said please.

Ooh, we'll let you fly the

Ultra-blimp.

Actually, the contract states

My client keeps the blimp.

But, but what could he do

With the world's biggest

Balloon?

Target sighted, lieutenant

Target sighted, lieutenant suarez.

Suarez.

How far to the bus stop?

A half-mile past shut your

Talking, ok?

[Screaming]

[Screaming] manny and frida: moleé!

Manny and frida: moleé!

Manny and frida: moleé! [♪...]

[♪...]

[Children cheering]

[Children cheering] [manny growling]