01x07 - The Moustache Kid/Puma Licito

[bunniefuu]

[Tiger growls]

Announcer: miracle city--

A spicy cesspool of crime and villainy.

This is the story of manny rivera,

Better known as...

[Roars] el tigre!

Son of the legendary hero...

White pantera!

Grandson of the evil supervillain...

Puma loco!

[Music playing]

El tigre!

[Siren blares]

El tigre!

[Roars]

[g*nshots ricochet]

[Tiger growls]

El tigre!

Chainsaw ninjas vs. The mutant bloodworm!

Whoo! This is gonna be

The best movie ever.

Sorry.

No children.

Ah, but I am no mere child.

I am...

[Tiger growls]

El tigre!

Yes?

And I am...

The assistant manager!

[Whack] next!

Oh, yeah? Well,

Who wants to see your lousy movie anyway?

Heh...

[Salsa music playing]

Uh-uh. You gotta be .

We are.

We're just short for our height.

[Growls]

[Whack] both: yaaah!

Oof!

[Squishing] all right, you kids.

This is an adults only trash can.

[Crash] move along.

[Nightstick whooshing]

Adults get everything.

Cars, desk jobs,

Jet packs.

Longing for their lost youth.

Yeah! Why do they get all the good stuff?

What's so great about them?

[Laughing] what do adults have that I don't?

What? [Laughing]

What? [Laughing]

What!?

Uh-huh huh huh!

You mean besides moustaches?

That's it!

I will grow a moustache.

This I swear!

Frida: ok, almost done.

And...

Ta-daa!

[Crash]

[Donkey braying]

[Crash] eh-heh...

You sure about this?

Yeah! Mucho-grow plant food.

The bottle says it'll make anything grow.

There.

[Birds chirping]

[Squirrel giggling]

[Deer munching]

Ehh..

This is an ancient aztec folk remedy.

Boiled cabbage, rotten squid,

Stinky goat cheese,

And...finally...

[Growling]

Good luck!

[Flies buzzing]

Whoa...

[Panting] well, you do look older.

Gehh...

I would give anything for a moustache!

Anything!

Anything!

Anything!

Eh?

El tigre.

So, he would give anything

For a moustache, eh?

I can use this to my advantage.

But I must somehow convince him

To trust me,

His evil arch-nemesis,

Dr. Chipotle...

Junior. A-ha ha ha ha--

I told you to stop eating yourself!

Manny rivera!

Do not fear me.

For although I am your evil arch-nemesis,

I can help you.

For I am a doctor of--

Moustachology!

Moustache?!?

[Electrical buzzing] both: ooh...

[Gears whirring]

This device can give you

The greatest moustache

The world has ever known!

But...

It requires a mystical object of power

As its energy source. Oh!

Wherever will I find one?

Dude! You got one of those.

Oh, yeah!

My el tigre belt.

Occh! I couldn't possibly ask you to

Gimme, gimme, gimme your belt!

I don't know.

[Music playing] [girls giggling]

Let's do this thing!

[Thunder crashes]

And now, let there be

Lip hair!

Whaa-aa-aa!

[Coughing]

At last,

I am...

Complete!

[Heavenly music plays]

[Gasps]

[Slurping]

Aww...heh heh!

I love you, too, little buddy.

[Smack] ha ha.

Cut it out, you.

Hair flowers!

You are the greatest moustache

The world has ever known.

I shall name you...

Raul!

Come on, frida!

Whoo!

Oh, don't forget your--

Ha ha ha ha!

Belt!

Thanks, raul! Oh!

And dr. Jalapeno.

Chipotle!

Have fun, now!

It's mine!

It's mine!

Get this-- [bowl breaks]

Now, my guacamole monster,

Put this on.

Spin the buckle, my monster.

Ah-ha ha ha!

Spin the buckle!

[Roaring] [chipotle laughing]

Right this way, sir.

And may I say, that's a very elegant moustache

You have there.

Call me if you need any more groveling.

[Monster roars] [people screaming]

[Monster roars] [people screaming]

Wa-hoo!

Yee-haw!

[Trilling] ay-yi yi yi yi!

♪ Staple, staple, staple ♪

♪ Staple, staple, staple ♪

♪ Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah ♪

♪ Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah ♪

At last, I am a true super villain!

Ha ha ha ha!

[Ice cream truck passes]

Ooh! Ooh! Ice cream!

[Music plays] [girls giggling]

At last!

The ultimate prize!

The culmination of my dreams!

We're getting in to the salsa club!

[Boom]

Noooo!

Nobody stops the music on my watch.

Monster, prepare to face--

[Shatters]

Aluminum foil and gum?

Dr. Tomatilla stole my belt!

[Chipotle laughing]

Raul, follow that guacamole!

[Engine revs] [brakes squeal]

Where we going to sleep now?

Aah!

All right, dr. Habanero.

I'm gonna get my belt back.

Ha ha ha! Not likely.

For just as I have turned your el tigre powers

Against miracle city,

I will now turn your friend

Against you!

Pff! Yeah, right.

Oh, not you.

Him.

Raul!

Raul?

[Beeping]

No! I'm... Your...friend...

Leave manny alone!

Ooh! Unh! Aggh!

Now...

Finish him!

If I gotta go like this,

I'm glad it was you, buddy.

That got to him!

Raul!

Think of all the fun we had!

♪ Remember the good times, raul ♪

♪ Dog races and sh**ting poo-ool ♪

♪ Grown-up excitement like paying our taxes ♪

♪ Trying out different moustache waxes ♪

♪ Remember the time that we painted the mule ♪

♪ Remember the good times raul ♪

Yeah!

Yeah.

Guess we'll do this the lazy man's way.

[Whack] [fizzle]

[Tiger growls]

Let's get cookin'!

Huh?

[Munching]

Aaah!

You haven't seen the last of me,

El tigre!

Ah-ha ha ha ha!

[Laughter echoing]

Dang! Dr. Paprika got away.

Chipotle!

[Banging]

Nope! That's the escape hatch.

He just jumped into the incinerator chute.

[Boom]

I detest you people.

[Sea gulls cawing]

Ah, a new day.

What grown-up fun should we try next?

What is it, raul?

What do you mean, I'm not ready

For adulthood?

I-- shhh!

Yeah, that's true.

But what if--

[Clapping and snapping]

Those are some good points.

[Sighs] you are a very wise moustache, raul.

You're like the older brother

I never had.

Only attached to my lip.

But you're right.

I must wait until it is my time.

Adios, my friend.

[Sniffling]

Adios!

[Whack]

You know, frida, I really learned--

Ee-yoooow!

Well said, dude.

Well said.

[Romantic music playing]

[Doorbell rings]

Oooh-hoo!

Maria!

You look like the sweet, melodious laughter

Of innocent children on a spring day!

Yeah, thanks.

So, where's manny? It's family dinner night.

Dear, uh, I don't know!

Boys will be boys, eh? Heh heh!

Well, I suppose you and I will have to dine...

Alone.

Manny: oh! Dad!

Why'd you lock us in my room with a pizza?

Hey, mom!

Manny! He he!

I'm so glad you're here.

And frida, too. Oh, good.

And where's granpapi?

[Crash] manny!

Come quick! I made the biggest robbery--ayyiii!

Rodolfo, maria.

I, uh, did not see you! Heh heh heh!

You have brought stolen goods to our home?!

No doubt the police are hot on your trail.

It's funny you mention thepolicia.

Whoa!

You stole the whole police station?!

[Crash]

Thank goodness manny is smart enough

Not to be impressed by--

Manny: awesome, granpapi!

Next, we'll steal the arcade, the ice cream store,

The world! Ha ha ha!

Papi! Take it back!

Now.

Never!

For me?

Oh-ho ho! Sure, ok.

Just let me leave my mark.

Both: cool!

Maria, I must speak with you--alone.

I am concerned that--

Rodolfo, what is that?

What?! Nothing!

I put it there to cover a hole.

Ahem.

Maria, I am concerned that manny is being led astray

By his granpapi's criminal misdeeds.

Kids manny's age are very susceptible

To their grandparent's influence.

It's a fact!

We need to discuss the possibility of...

Granpapi moving out of the house.

No! He can't leave!

Granpapi isn't a bad influence on me!

How'd you learn to eavesdrop like this?

Granpapi taught me.

Wait!

If they want to kick granpapi out because he did bad things,

I bet they let him stay if he did good things!

[Snoring and muttering]

[Snarling]

[Grunting]

Aahh!

[Snoring]

Manny: now we just activate the mech-suit,

And people will think we're...

Puma loco!

Frida: a tinted windshield?

Sweet ride!

Ok, we got do-gooding to do.

[Dinging]

[Boing]

Thank you, puma loco.

[Meowing]

Thank you, puma loco!

[Slurring] thank you, puma loco!

[Alarm ringing]

Puma loco?!

Find your own bank, man! This one's all robbed out.

What, huh?

You gone loco, puma?

What you doing with that branding iron, man?

Man!

I'm gonna get you, puma!

Make you suffer like my body's suffering!

Ay!

[Rattling]

[Granpapi groaning]

Both: aahhh!

The morning donkey breath is the worst.

Ptooey! Wait!

I am forgetting something.

Uh...glasses...

Dentures...

Hat!

Hello, hat.

[Sipping] papi?

[Sipping] rodolfo?

[Sipping] papi?

[Sipping] rodolfo.

Did you see this headline?

Manny: puma loco gone good!

How could a newspaper bring such lies?

I will make them pay dearly!

Ha ha ha!

Ah, an angry mob seeking vengeance!

This is more like it!

Viva puma loco! Viva puma loco!

Viva puma loco!

Will you lead our girl scout troop?

Viva puma loco!

I named my kitten after you!

Meow!

I want to be a hero, just like you.

Aaahh!

Papi! What is this?

Ha ha! Manny, your granpapi certainly is a good role model.

Yes, now that he is good,

I, too, wish to lead a good life of goodness.

What is happening?!

Have I somehows turned good without knowing?

Have I been--ahh!

Sleep-gooding?

What are you looking at?

[Snoring]

Get a grip on yourself, puma.

You are losing it!

Maybe I'll watch some tv.

Yes, yes, the news!

[Beep]

Reporter on tv: in other puma loca news,

Police chief suarez had this to say--

Thanks to puma loca,

El oso is safely behind bars.

All: we love you, puma loco!

Thepolicia love me? What have I done?!

What have I done?!

No!

Granpapi?

You ok?

[Snoring] pantalones!

[Granpapi muttering]

Granpapi!

They are all against me, manny!

The government, the window washers,

The young people with their hair and their music!

It's all to mess with my mind and make me do good!

It's a conspiracy, I tell you!

So you're ok, then?

I am a disgrace to my evil granpapi,

The most nefarious, nastiest, pirate-bandito super villain of all time!

The mighty cheetar!

He nearly conquered the world

With nothing but a steam-powered mech-suit!

I bet no one ever asked him to lead their girl scout troop!

[Crying]

I must leave miracle city.

I cannot bear the shame!

Now close the door!

You're letting in the mind control beams!

We've been trying to keep granpapi here,

But we're driving him away!

And bonkers!

Come on, frida,

We gotta un-do all the do-gooding we do-did.

Aahh!

[Wailing]

[Alarm ringing]

So you let me out of jail, huh, puma man?

Well, since you're the one who put me in,

I figure you're here for a rematch.

What?

Not cool, man.

Not cool!

Whoa!

[Growling]

[Roaring]

El oso, face el ti--

[Evil laughter]

[Screaming] [laughing]

[Screaming] huh?

Ooh!

Both: aahh!

Guilty!

Well, at least I got a fair trial, man.

Manny! Are you ok?

What is going on here?

Maybe you ask these two, huh?

I see them on the tv in my puma loco suit.

We can explain.

Manny heard them talking about making you move out!

We figured if we made them think you're good,

They let you stay.

Manny, granpapi is family.

We could never make him leave. It's a fact!

Yes, especially, since--heh heh--

He actually owns our house.

I'm sorry, gran--

My grandson steals my precious sombrero!

And my son and his ex-wife

Plot against me in secret!

You make me so happy!

I never thought I'd see the day

All of you doing evil at once!

I helped!

Now, if you excuse me,

I have to go save my bad name!

[Granpapi cackling]

All: aw! Granpapi's back!

[Cackling continues]