Want to know what's been kind of bugging me lately about the whole josh thing?
Both: we hang out together all the time.
It's awesome.
It gets to be a little much.
We have breakfast together!
We have breakfast together.
We go to school together!
We go to school together.
We eat dinner together!
We eat dinner together.
And we even get to crash in the same room together.
And then the next day...
And then the next day,
It starts all over again!
It starts all over again.
Ooh!
[Moans] ooh...
[Tv program running]
No, no, no, no, no. You got to go.
Why?
Because I'm having a big get-together in here tonight.
Who's getting together?
My butt and that couch. Now leave.
Sorry. The tv in my room's broken.
And mom said I could watch in here.
So get off my nerves.
All right. I'll tell you what,
If you leave,
I'll give you bucks.
That's josh's wallet.
All right, I'll give you . Done.
Later.
See you.
Couch, meet butt.
Butt, couch.
[New tv program running]
What's up,
Brother from another mother?
Shh. No talking.
I can't talk?
Nope. I'm watching "celebrities underwater."
What's that? It's a reality show where they
Put celebrities underwater.
Be quiet.
Justin timberlake's about to lose consciousness.
Come on, justin.
More seconds and you b*at queen latifah.
I got something better than that.
Nothing is better than this.
How about two tickets
To see blaine darvy's magic show?
Is it under water?
No. Not interested.
Come on. Don't you want to hang out together?
[Person trying to speak under water on tv]
[Turns tv off] josh...
We have breakfast together.
We go to school together.
We live in the same room together.
Our life is together.
Yeah. Best friends.
But, you know, sometimes,
I just need a little drake time. You understand?
But it's blaine darvy.
He placed number in the minnesota magic bee.
Can't you find somebody else to go with you?
Well, there is this new kid in my science class--drew.
Maybe I could see if he wants to go.
Yeah. There you go. Ask drew.
Ok. If you don't want to hang out with me.
Uh, just tonight.
I mean, don't feel bad.
We're still going to the "ghost monsters" premiere next week,
Right?
Yeah, yeah. Totally. Cool.
Ahh.
Ok, drake time.
[Tv program running]
Announcer on tv: justin timberlake's been under water now
For over minutes. And here comes the lobster.
[Snap]
Ooh! That's got to hurt.
♪I never thought that it would be so simple ♪
♪But I found a way, I found a way ♪
♪ If you open up your mind
♪ See what's inside
♪It's gonna take some time to realize ♪
♪But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find ♪
♪ Over your shoulder you know that I told you ♪
♪ I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down ♪
♪ So just turn around
♪ Whoo
Oh, man. That was great. I know.
Dude, how awesome was that magic show?
A-mazing!
Where did that zebra go?
How did he swallow that lawnmower?
I don't know! I don't know!
Hey, drake. Hey.
What's up?
Oh! Drake, this is my new friend drew. Drew, drake.
How's it going?
How you doing?
Cool shirt.
Oh, thanks.
Hey, drew, remember
The shirt that blaine darvy's parakeet had on?
You mean...
[Silly voice] the shirt of a thousand feathers?
Caw, caw!
Ahh. Ahh.
Ok, oh, oh, hey, josh, do you know
Where I put that little box of guitar picks?
You play guitar? Yeah. You?
Nah.
Drew plays the saxophone. He's got his own band.
Oh, that's great.
And get this,
After the show, drew talked up these girls in the lobby.
Got of their phone numbers.
Only ?
Yeah. I had an off-night.
Hey, let's go upstairs and fire up the games for you.
Oh, yeah, got to break in the new game.
Whoa, whoa. What new game?
Drew just got demolition driveway.
No way!
Yeah, we're gonna go upstairs
And bash in a few garage doors.
Awesome! I've been dying to play that game.
[Hisses]
Ooh.
Why...
[Imitates hiss]
"Ooh"?
It's kind of only a -player game.
Ok. Uh, well, you guys have fun.
Oh, we will.
Yeah,we will.
Oh, drake, I got you a box of bububes.
[Rattle]
Uh, there's only one.
Oh, yeah, drew got hungry on the way home.
Sorry, dude.
I got a weakness for bububes.
Yeah, me, too.
See you.
He ate my bububes.
Oprah?
Oh, oprah.
Aah!
[Screaming]
Whose dog is this?
I don't know. I just found him rooting through the garbage outside.
So you let him lick my face?
Get dressed. We're late.
Late for what?
Dude, it's saturday morning.
Cheerleader carwash at the hexaco station.
Come on, it's already :.
Oh, no, I'm late.I'm supposed to be at drew's.
You're hanging out with drew today?
Yeah. He's got a virtual reality snowboarding game
With a real snow machine and everything.
So, what, you're just gonna be gone all day?
Yeah. But now you can have
More drake time.
Everybody wins. See you.
Well, trash dog, it looks like it's just you and me.
Hey, I have garbage!
[Tv program running]
Hey.
Hey.
What you doing?
Nothing.
What you watching?
Tv.
What you doing later?
This.
So...
Is this going somewhere?
Why? Why? You want to go somewhere?
Sure! Let's go somewhere.
Hey.
Hey.
I got you a soda.
Thanks.
So how old are you now, like ?
I'm /.
So...
I have a question. Yeah?
Why are we here?
What, a guy can't take his sister out for a day of fun?
And the fun starts when?
I--i got you a soda with a bendy straw.
Oh, yeah.
Whee.
Just drink it.
Ew! I hate root beer.
Why did you get me root beer?
You know, 'cause when josh and I come here,
He always gets a root beer
And I get a dr. Fizz,
And then we mix them half and half.
Whoa. You two have some crazy times.
Yeah.
So, /, huh?
All right, drew, what's bugging you?
Nothing.
Josh blew me off
To go virtual snowboarding with stupid drew.
Ooh! Somebody's jealous.
I'm not jealous.
Look, drake, josh found a new friend.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But if it bugs you so much,
Then go find your own friend to hang out with.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
I don't need josh.
I'll just go find another friend to hang out with.
You should. I will.
So... /.
I'm out of here.
Sorry I'm late, guys.
Where you been all day?
I was just hanging out with a new friend of mine.
Actually, I invited him over for dinner
And to watch "canadian idol" with us. Is that cool?
Sure. Megan, will you go tell josh and drew that dinner's ready?
Sure.
[On p.a.] Josh and drew,
Please report for dinner.
Josh and drew,
Please report for dinner.
Please report for dinner.
Josh and drew, please report for dinner.
Where does she get this stuff?
[On p.a.] None of your business.
Hey, drake, you remember drew.
Oh, yeah, what's new, drew?
Not much. Same ol'.
Is that my shirt?
Oh, yeah, well, uh,
Well, drew was wearing a white shirt,
And we're having lasagna, so I just gave him one of yours.
I see.
Ok, dinner's ready. Everybody grab a plate,
Get some food.
Announcer on tv: welcome to "canadian idol"!
And here's your host, maurice bouvier.
[Cheering on tv]
Dad: josh, root beer for you.
And, drew, you wanted the dr. Fizz, right?
Yes, sir. Thanks.
I'll take a dr. Fizz, too.
Sorry. Drew got the last one.
Shall we?
Do it!
Ahh. Ahh.
What? Is something wrong?
Nope.
[Doorbell rings]
Ah, excuse me.
Who's that?
That must be drake's friend.
Drake: yeah. I'll let my friend in.
Hey! Hey!
Drake: everybody, I'd like you to meet my new friend jerry.
What's up, fellas,
Lady fellas?
Come, sit down, jerry.
It's dinnertime.
Yeah, it is!
And so the fireman says, "that's not a pimple. That's my daughter!"
Oh, man, this guy with his comedy.
How funny is he?
You know, jerry, you look really familiar.
Have we met before?
Well, you work at the premiere, right? Uh-huh.
I play a lot of pool there.
Oh, yeah. You guys should see jerry play pool.
He's like a pro, the best player I've ever seen.
Ever.
Well, I play pool, too. Maybe we could play sometime.
Sure.
Oh, hey, did you know that jerry performs
Every friday night at the magic palace?
Magic palace?
Hey, you love that place, right, josh?
Yeah, I do!
I thought only professional magicians performed there.
He is a professional.
Hey, jerry, why don't you pass josh the parmesan cheese?
Oh.
You mean...
This parmesan cheese?
Wonderful.
Did not see that coming.
Whoa. That was pretty cool.
Honey, did you get the rolls out of the oven?
Yes.
Josh, get the rolls out of the oven.
You just said that--
Rolls!
I'll help him.
Hey, megs.
Aren't you upset?
Nah. Dad deals with me all the time.
Not about that.
About jerry.
Why would I be upset about jerry?
I'd be upset if I was being replaced.
What are you talking about?
Drake's replacing you with jerry.
He's like your twin.
What? Jerry's nothing like me.
Oh, come on. He looks like you. He's great at pool.
He loves magic. He even has the same giant head.
Really?
Well, I will agree
That we have similar hobbies
And head "circumfercees."
Josh, he's you.
Look at him boobing it up out there.
I love video games.
Hey, well, I love video games.
It's called the game pod.
It's podular.
Pod-u-lar!
I repeat things for emphasis.
Em-pha-sis!
Shh!
I can't believe it.
You're right. Drake's trying to replace me.
Re-place me.
[Screaming]
[Screaming]
He's in my bed?
Uh-huh.
Ok. Why is he in my bed?
His house is getting fumigated.
Yeah, we got fruit flies.
So I let him crash here tonight.
But why does he have to sleep in my bed?
What's wrong with the guest room?
He needs a firm mattress.
Yeah. I have lumbar problems.
Hey, those are my pajamas.
I know. They're really comfortable.
A lot of thigh room.
So what, did he wear my underwear, too?
No. I don't wear underwear when I sleep.
Ok, words.
Keep the pajamas!
Hey, drake.
Oh, there she is.
[Kiss]
[Screams]
Gross! I just took a shower.
Sorry, but you're awesome.
Why? What did I do?
Your advice about josh. It worked perfectly.
He's so jealous of jerry.
That's great.
Oh, and if you ever pick me up and kiss me like that again...
You're gonna wake up breathing through a tube.
Hi, drake.
What's up, brother?
Please pass the orange juice.
Sure.
So you know what tonight is.
What's that?
The premiere, "ghost monsters."
Huh? You and me, remember?
Yeah, about that,
I've got other plans.
What are you talking about?
We've had these plans for, like, weeks.
"Ghost monsters"!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, aah!
What, you're gonna miss the premiere?
Oh, I'm going to the premiere with drew.
What?
[Doorbell rings]
What's up, josh?
Drake.
[Coolly] drew.
Well, uh, we'll see you later.
We've got all sorts of plans
To do things together.
See you.
Later, drake.
Oh, hey, drew.
Hey, there she is.
[Kiss]
[Chuckles] oh, drew.
Bye.
It's cute when he does it.
[Drake chuckles]
Jerry, I'm serious. That is the most fun I've ever had.
Hey, anytime.
Oh, thanks. Uh, hang here. I'll go get us a soda.
All right.
Oh, hey, josh, what are you doing here?
You knew I'd be here.
I just saw "ghost monsters" with drew, my best friend.
Why are you dressed like that?
'Cause this is how you dress
When you spend an entire day deep sea fishing.
You went deep sea fishing?
That's right, with my best friend jerry.
His dad has a boat, a big boat with a motor.
You know it's my dream to go deep sea fishing.
Yeah, well, dreams die, josh...
Just like this fish.
That's right. Smell the flounder.
You're just jealous 'cause my friend drew is a better you than you.
No. I think you're jealous
Because my new friend jerry is
A better you than you.
Jerry, come here! Drew, over here!
Hey, uh, do that cool magic trick.
Ok, I'll just get out my scissors.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I will now cut off this girl's pigtail.
Hey!
No worries, ma'am.
If my lovely assistant
Would just say the magic words.
Jerry kazam.
[Applause]
Oh, drew,
Why don't you play your saxophone for the people?
Ok. Yeah!
[Saxophone playing]
Uh, jerry, do your cool dance.
♪ Dancin'
Man: excuse me.
Hi. Could I talk to you two for a minute?
Uh...
Popcorn?
I wonder what he wants.
I don't know.
So how was "ghost monsters"?
I don't know. Drew kept yapping through the whole thing.
I missed half of it.
So, uh...
Deep sea fishing was cool?
Well...
What?
Jerry got seasick,
And I didn't catch anything.
What about the flounder?
I bought it at that fish market.
Fish upon a star? Yeah.
Drake, what have we been doing?
I don't know, man. I guess I just got jealous
When you started spending so much time with drew.
That's how I felt when you tried to replace me with jerry.
Come on, man. He could never replace you.
You're my brother.
From another mother.
Hug me, brother?
Not here, man. There's people.
Right.
A quick one?
Drake! Josh!
You guys aren't going to believe this.
See that guy who wanted to talk to us?
He's a tv producer from l.a.!
Drake: a tv producer?
Yeah. He wants to put us on television.
Why? Well, he saw me do my magic tricks
And dancing.
And he saw me play the sax.
He thinks we'd be perfect for a tv show.
A comedy about brothers.
We're gonna be on television!
Tele-vision!
What a dumb idea for a show.
Yeah! Who would watch it?
Half a glass of root beer.
Half a glass of dr. Fizz.
And now...
We commingle.
To my brother.
My brother!
Ahh!
Ooh, "drew and jerry" is on.
Turn it up.
But I thought you said you were sorry.
I am sorry.
There they are. I can't believe it.
I thought you meant you were sorry that you cheated on the test
And that you weren't gonna do it anymore.
No. I'm sorry I got caught.
And I'm definitely gonna do it some more.
Stomach aches.
You give me stomach aches!
The drew character seems pretty cool.
Yeah. Why would they make
The jerry character such a dork?
Jerry on tv: I'm not gonna do it.
Drew on tv: you're gonna do it, jerry.
No way.
You're gonna do it, jerry...
No. Oh, no. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, no.
Yeah. Oh, no!
Oh, yeah! No.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. No!
Oh, no. Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah. No.
I am not helping you cheat.
I may have stumbled,
But that does not lessen the significance of this departure!
Mm!