Meet the Stewarts (1942)

[bunniefuu]

Candy!

Candy!

Candy, are you going to put
that ladder back or aren't you?

Uh-uh.

Not till you say you'll marry me.

You know perfectly well I don't make
enough money to keep you in snoods.

- Let me down.
- I will darling, the instant you propose.

Candy, I told you I had to
work tonight.

Now what do you suppose will
happen if I don't show up?

- Might get fired, huh?
- Of course I might.

Doesn't my future mean
anything to you?

Not if I'm not in it.

Suppose we did get married...

I supposed it all last night.
It was lovely.

Now will you suppose living on
my salary for a minute?

Just try me.

Not after what you're used to.

Mike, what makes you so snobbish?

What do you think your
father would say?

That you're a fortune-hunter.
He already did.

Sure he would. He did?

But I told him I was going to
marry you.

You told him?

Why, yes.

I didn't know you wanted to
ask him yourself.

He said I was a fortune hunter?

And a heel.

A heel and a fortune hunter.

Why didn't you tell him the truth?

That it's because of your
money that I won't marry you.

Silly, how could I tell him that when I was
telling him we were going to be married?

Don't be unreasonable.

I'm unreasonable?
I am?

Candy, let me down, please?
I really might get fired.

Will you marry me?

No.

That's too bad.

It was quite a good job, too.

I can just picture him.

Assuring Candy of all the
happiness he's going to give her.

Pleading that he only
wants to share her life.

Whispering all the nonsense
she's fool enough to listen to.

Promising anything to sweep
her off her feet.

Somehow I cannot imagine Candy
being swept off her feet.

You can't have been an attorney as
long as you have and not know anything.

There must be some legal trick
to keep her from marrying him.

She's of age, Pierce.

Besides, dear, you don't really
know he's just after money.

What else would he be
after? Candy?

It'll be 10 years before that girl has
sense enough to qualify as a moron.

Some men like women that way.

Not this one.

What did you just find out
about him?

Steady. Hard-working.
Conscientious.

Put through school by his sister
until he got a scholarship.

No scandal of any kind.

Connected with a reliable firm.

No, I don't trust people
like that.

Really, Pierce,
it all sounds very commendable.

It all sounds very calculating.

Do you suppose for a minute a
boy like that would pick a silly,

self-willed girl like Candy
to take care of?

Oh, stop talking about her like that.
Candy's no more self-willed

than any girl her age.

And besides, she's a lot smarter
than I was when I married you.

Oh!
Darling...

Is that so?
Now you listen to me young...

Shh! Do keep your voice
down, dear.

No use in the children knowing
everything.

Actually, Mother, it's positively
supernatural the way this family treats me.

Nobody seems to realize I'm 16.

Now, if it was John you wanted to keep
things from, I could understand it.

- Yeah, how do you figure?
- Because you're a child.

You have no business in these
family conferences.

But other parents would ask their
grown sons and daughters in.

We don't have to.

Of course, if you don't
want my opinion...

We get it anyway.
What is it?

Now that you ask me, I think the
attitude you're taking is simply foul.

If they're in love with each other,
what could money have to do with it?

"Great Lovers of History".

You're prejudiced.
John?

Aw, he must be a jerk.

Why, dear?

Well, I was watching down by
the lake this afternoon,

and you know what he was
begging her for?

A kiss?

A loan?

A ladder.

A ladder?

Of course. To pluck the
stars from the sky for her.

More likely to climb to
where he wants to get.

I don't think he wanted to
climb anything.

Never mind what you don't think.

If they're still there I'm
going to have a talk with them.

- You two stay here.
- Actually, Father,

are you trying to make us feel
we're not wanted?

My dear girl, since youre at an age where
you seem to misunderstand everything,

I'll make it very clear.
You're not wanted.

Well, Mother. There's an example
of how this family treats me.

If Father didn't want my
opinion, why did he ask?

Oh, hello.

Candy, I want to have a
little talk with you.

All right, Dad. Shall
we go up to the house?

No, no. Let's stay here
where we can be alone.

- Don't you think that, uh...
- Candy,

are you still determined
to marry that fortune-hunter?

That makes me good and mad.

Who's that?

That's Mike, Dad.
Michael Stewart.

My father, Mr. Goodwin.

How do you do?

- How do you do?
- Well, come down here!

Gladly. Would you, uh...

Oh no you don't, either of you.

You stay there till you know when.

Candy, what in the name of
senses is this?

Just a little game we're playing.

We call it "tricked and
trapped in the tree top".

- Do you intend to marry him?
- Definitely.

- Do you love my daughter?
- Unfortunately, yes.

Well, it is unfortunate,
because if she marries you,

I am not continuing to
support her.

- But that, of course, doesn't interest you.
- Oh, but it does.

But wouldn't her mother want to take her
on a trip to Florida once in a while?

Or pick her up a chinchilla
jacket now and then?

- See that she had a maid?
- I would definitely see that she didn't.

Mr. Goodwin, I have your word
as a gentleman on this?

You can depend on it,
all right. And remember,

Candy comes to you with only
her personal belongings.

Oh, and that isn't much, Mike, honest.
Just a few clothes and canoes and things.

Well, I could still make
the office.

All right, Candy,
will you marry me?

Oh, Mike.
Dad, will you help me?

- Well, why should I help?
- He might lose his job if he's late.

You didn't care about that
a minute ago.

Oh, he wasn't going to be my
husband then.

You told me this morning you
were going to marry him.

Did I say he'd asked me?

Yes!

- "Yes," what?
- Yes, I will.

Oh. Oh!

Mike, you forgot something.

Oh yeah, thanks.

Remember, you promised.

Darling, can you live on budgets?

I never ate any, but I bet
I'll love 'em.

Oh, darling, you're so affectual.

- Mike, we've stopped.
- Well, we have to sometimes, otherwise we...

- Oh, we've stopped.
- Mmm-hmm.

If you like, we could drive
around some more.

Oh no, no.

Well, it's certainly good to get home.
Er, again.

Oh, again.

I get it.

Look, darling, our house.

Ours.

One hundred and forty-three
more payments and it'll be ours.

Mike, you're such a utilitarian.

My wife was a vegetarian
when I married her.

It didn't make no difference.

That's very comforting.

Uh, how much do I owe you?

- Well, I'd be glad to take these in for you...
- No, no.

Just set 'em down there, thanks.

Well, maybe you'd better go inside and
turn on the light. I don't see so good.

Uh, no, I've got a match here.

Hmm. Well, never mind.

Here you are.

- Oh, thanks.
- You're welcome.

- Have you got your key all right?
- Here it is.

Oh. Well, thanks again.

- You're welcome.
- You're welcome.

Maybe if we take an aspirin
he'll go away.

I doubt it. He hates not being
able to figure this out.

Good, I'm glad we fooled him
on something.

I hope you'll be very happy.

- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, thank you.

- Well, good night.
- Good night.

Be careful when you carry
her in, Mister.

I tripped with my wife.

Never mind, dear, we'll fool
somebody else some other time.

Are you ready, Mrs. Stewart?

Ready? I've been waiting
two weeks for this.

Remind me to tell you to
go on a diet.

I'm so thin they practically had to
throw puffed rice at our wedding.

- Of course if you'd rather I carried you...
- No, no, no, no.

I love to over-do myself.

Mike, we're home. Turn on the
lights, let's see what it looks like.

- Must be indirect lighting.
- Very indirect.

Mike, there's no electricity.

Apparently the pixies didn't
have it turned on for us.

Wouldn't you just as soon
see it tomorrow?

How long before dawn?

Hmm. Oh, about seven hours.

- I'll wait.
- Hmm.

- What's this?
- Wedding presents.

The real estate man must
have let them in.

I wonder if there's
any furniture in them.

How should I know?
They're all wrapped.

Anyway, we've got the bedroom
set Uncle Hilary sent us.

Let's see if it's here.

That's what I admire in women.
They're so fundamental.

I heard that.
They're here.

Good old Uncle Hilary.

Mattresses and everything.
Imagine!

Uh, do you suppose we could
imagine some blankets, too?

I can wear pajamas tonight.
The red ones.

And I've got a couple of fur
coats in my trunk.

Say, some of those wedding
presents ought to be blankets.

Of course, the Horsies alway
send blankets.

You take the big ones.
I'll take the little ones.

How wonderful. From the
Claytons, a chafing dish.

What did you get?

Ditto. From the Blackburnses.

We shouldn't have two, should we?

Well, it all depends on how cozily
we can roll ourselves up into them.

Oh, that's right, blankets.

You try this.

Do you suppose my blankets
at home belong to me?

It's improbable.

What am I sitting on?

Oh, that's my hope chest.

Well, now we're getting somewhere.

What were you hoping for,
an ice man?

Oh, Mike.

Brides always bring their husbands
linen and quilts smelling with lavender.

I feel so... so inadequate.

Oh, darling.

If I just sat here and watched
the mortgages grow up and

entwine themselves
around the house,

and tried to think of
adjectives to describe you,

I'd never get to inadequate.

Oh, Mike. I'm going to be just
like you.

Well, of course you can try.
And I respect you for your aspirations.

- But, you know, people say to me...
- Shut up.

I'm going to be practical, and I'm going to
think about money every time I spend it.

Well, that should help.

And I'm going to live on our
budget and love it.

Oh, Candy, do you think you can?

I'm not asking you to love it,
but if you don't mind too much,

just while we're getting started?

Darling, I don't want to
upset you, but

I have something I think you
ought to know about.

Candy, no.

We got another chafing dish.
Triplets.

Uh-uh. Quadruplets.

- Well, what should we do about it?
- Go to bed.

- Uh, wouldn't you like to maybe look in that one?
- Nope.

It's late, and I turn into a
pumpkin at midnight.

Besides, we have a big day
ahead of us tomorrow, shopping.

Oh, shopping.

For our furniture for our home.
With our budget.

Candy, are you sure you're going
to like shopping like that?

Oh, Mike.

Can you think of anything
I haven't liked? Hmm?

Mike, it's here! It's here!

- What's here?
- The van.

The van?

Yes, dear. Were you expecting
our furniture by carrier pidgeon?

Oh, the house innards.

Candy, look. I've been figuring,
and we're $49.76 over our budget.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?
And here you were worrying.

Everything we need and only
that much over.

But Candy, the accepted idea of budget
shopping is to stay within the amount.

- Oh, well that's hardly anything over.
- Hardly anything?

Oh. Well, yes,
I guess $50 is a lot of money, isn't it?

Well, should we do something
about it?

Not about it, without it.
Now, something has to go back.

Oh, no, Mike.
We can't do that.

Why, we need every single thing.
I'd be simply miserable...

Oh, now, that's silly. Of course
I wouldn't be miserable at all.

Well, if we have to save
we'll shave.

- Stewart?
- Yes. I'm Mrs. Stewart.

Can you fasten that door somehow?

Might as well make it as easy
for him as we can.

I see what you mean.

To the left, Llewyn.
Straight ahead.

To the right.

- Whoa.
- Ah, the chair. Fine.

I'll put it right over there.

- Huh, there's no floor plug.
- Hold it.

There's a good spot for it.
Right there.

Oh, no, darling.
That chair goes over by the window.

- Hold it.
- But honey, I told 'em to put it here by the plug

so I could read at night.

Oh no, it has to be by the window
where I can sew in the daytime.

- Right here.
- Okay.

Over there.

- You're startin' wrong, bub.
- Yeah.

- Friends of yours?
- As a matter of fact, the bone of contention may be

just the thing to go back.

Oh, no, Mike. We have to
have it, because...

because it's the only thing you
actually picked out yourself.

Well, if that's the only reason I can
unpick it with a flick of my wrist.

Simple?

No. I wanted it too.

Candy, you have a streak of low
cunning that sometimes alarms me.

I know, we can save it on
the kitchen.

I'll bet we bought lots of things
for the kitchen we won't need.

Any room you like, Kitten.
So long as we chop off fifty bucks.

You said $49.76.

Well, so I exaggerated.

Over there.

She can't move that around much.

- Now, these aren't absolute necessities.
- Oh, but they are.

Why, the instant I saw them I thought
of all the things I could put in them.

Well, that seems to be the
general idea.

My, what will they think of next?

- Well, that proves their necessity.
- Still in all, darling...

- That's it, the breakfast set.
- To go back?

Why sure, we've got the dining
room table.

Take it out. We'll have to do
without it for a while.

Okay.

Oh, no, wait.
What'll we put there?

Well, nothing, temporarily. As soon as
we can afford it, we'll get the set back.

You mean we'll just leave this
great big empty space?

Well, we could put our chafing
dishes in.

Oh, Mike, it looks awful.

When I think of all the time I'll be
spending in the kitchen, I don't...

Candy, at the store you said the
same thing about the bedroom.

Well, what other rooms should a
married woman be spending her time in?

Surely there's something
else we could save on.

Something that we wouldn't
miss quite as much.

Please, darling.

- Okay, put it back.
- Okay, Llewyn, put it back.

- Believe me, you're making a terrible mistake.
- Yeah.

Are you married?
As if I didn't know.

Sure, but when I started out, I only bought
the old lady a washboard and a mirror.

You didn't consider the mirror
an extravagance?

Nope. If she didn't use the washboard,
she could watch herself starve to death.

Yeah.

There.

- Oh, darling, don't you think we could...
- Mike!

Don't you see, we couldn't do
without one of these lamps.

- Makes you ashamed of your sex.
- Yeah.

Well, at the risk of being repetitious,
we still haven't chopped off the $50.

Oh, darling, you're so
mental-minded.

Let's try the living room again.

- "Step into my parlor," said the spider to the fly.
- Yeah.

What do you think about...
Oh, no.

A man in my position has
to have a secretary.

Marriage isn't marriage
without a love seat.

I still think this chair's
the thing to go.

Oh, Mike, but isn't it adorable?

Now I've seen a lot of
chairs in my time...

It looks so well-fed and happy.

Candy, if I didn't love and trust
you, I'd swear you were considering

not sending anything back.

Oh, no, dear. It's
just the chair.

Look at it.
You can see it belongs here.

When you think of all the
time I'm...

Going to spend in the living room.

Ah, ah, ah.

But just this once, couldn't we,
if we never, never do it again?

Even just this once, where
would we get the money?

- Oh, that budget.
- Candy, I told you budgets weren't any fun.

But that's the only way we
can manage.

I know, I'm sorry.

Mike, I am. I'm not a pig, really.
I've just got to learn, that's all.

And I will.
Honest, I will.

- Take it back.
- Are you kiddin'?

Of course not!
My husband says we can't afford it.

- And whatever my husband says in this house is final.
- Yeah.

Now we can just put that table up
against there, and with a few books

and a bowl of flowers, why,
it won't seem empty.

- Now I've seen everything.
- Yeah.

Don't look now, but I
think you're swell.

- Wait!
- Uh-oh.

- Set it down just a minute.
- But Candy, you just told 'em to take it out.

Mike...

- Sit in it.
- Sit?

Please, just once before it goes.

Oh. Oh, all right.

There, that's all I wanted.

This is what I pictured when
we bought it in the store.

You know, cold nights when
the davenport's too big.

Fire's lit, shadows on the wall...

and just us, here.

Oh, it's cozy.

- He hasn't a chance.
- Yeah.

Let's go.

You hang things beautifully.

Does that mean you've got
another picture up your sleeve?

But darling, you're developing
an awfully suspicious nature.

Every one's up, and they came
out just even with the furniture.

You know, like you try to do
with ice cream and cake.

Look, isn't it just right?

- Candy, do you like it?
- Like it? Oh, Mike, it's perfect.

- Hey, what's cooking?
- I'm boiling up the pots I b*rned last night.

Oh.

- May I?
- Thank you.

- What was that?
- Buzzer for the maid.

- Candy, if a maid comes...
- That's one thing we won't be needing for a while.

Well, there never was a
dining room like it.

There never was a house like
it. Or a marriage.

It'll always be like this, won't it?
Different from other peoples'?

Perfect?

I guess that's up to us.

You know, marriage is an institution.
And not everyone belongs in one.

So, from now on it depends on
what we do to us.

Well, we've been married a week and
you're still bringing me presents.

Oh, I've heard you should
never let your wife think

you've forgotten little things
like flowers and candy.

I intend to mention them often.

Don't look now, but I'm going
to bite you.

Ow! Oh! Now how am I going to
explain that to my mother?

- She won't see it until Friday night.
- Friday night?

I'm having them all to dinner.
The family and your mother and sister.

Going to meet at our first
dinner party.

Oh, Candy. Do you think you should yet?
I mean, well, you know...

- You already asked them?
- Mmm-hmmm.

- Well, maybe I can get home early and help.
- A man in my kitchen? No.

Now, please, Mike. This is something
I've just got to do all by myself.

Well, anything you like, Kitten,
but you know... Last night's dinner.

When it says "Wash vegetables
well," I wash 'em well.

Why didn't it say "without soap"?

"Stir until smooth."

Soft smooth or hard smooth?
Hmm.

Oh my gosh! Oh!

Roast, roast, roast...

"Baste every 15 minutes." Oh!

Oh!

Oh stop. Stop it!

Oh, simmer.

"Pinch of salt
and two cups of sugar."

A pinch of salt and two cups...

Two cups of sugar.

Pinch...

Ugh. That does it!

Whatever it is, I don't want any!

- Wong!
- Greetings.

Mrs. Goodwin say,
"Wong cook dinner with Mrs. Candy."

Why Mrs. Candy cook dinner
all alone?

Oh, that's sweet of Mother,
but if you cook dinner with me,

I wouldn't be cooking
at all alone.

- Afraid that isn't very ethical.
- But good dinner please.

Well, there's something in that!

After all, I supposed a good meal
is more important than who cooks it.

Still, I did want Mike's
mother and sister to...

- Who said who cooked?
- Oh no, I couldn't do that Wong, I...

I couldn't take credit for
something I didn't do.

Of course, I did make the soup
and I started the roast.

In fact, you almost might say
that I...

- You say you cook.
- Well...

If I watch every single thing
and see how it's done,

- I supposed I might just as well have done it.
- All right, you watch.

Come to think of it though,
I've got a lot to do yet.

Uh, I'll set the table first,
and then I'll watch.

Please! Where's the soap?

You wash vegetables with soap too.

No vegetable, no.
I wash dishes first,

so make room to cook.

What a mess.

- Now, what can I do?
- You say you cook.

Everything ready?

Salads, dessert, meat sauce.

- Oh Wong, you're wonderful.
- You say you cook.

But you better go now, because my
husband'll be home in half an hour.

Then who is out there please?

Here.

Candy, what are you playing?

Oh, hello. You home?

- Well, you expected me, didn't you?
- Well, of course.

Naturally I did.
Only not so early.

- Well, I thought I could help.
- Oh, thanks.

Well, did you have a nice day?

Say, what is this?

- What?
- Whatever it is I'm not supposed to suspect.

Suspect? What do you mean,
"Suspect"?

Look dear, you're the kind of
actress I used to have hooks for.

So you might as well
come right out and tell me.

- Say, did I wear this today?
- It doesn't look like yours, does it?

- Fancy.
- Maybe you picked it up somewhere?

No, I haven't been any place...

"W.L." And mine was brown.

Besides, I distinctly remember it.

Candy, is it a man?

- Oh no, Mike!
- Well then, whose hat is this?

That's a man's hat, yes,
but you see what I meant...

There's a man in that closet.
You lied to me.

No I didn't, Mike. I mean he's
not the kind of man you meant.

Please Mike, please let me tell
you before you open the door.

- I was going to tell you, honestly I was.
- It's too late now, Candy.

Candy...

I was going to tell you, really I was.
After they'd gone tonight.

But I made the soup and done
all the hard work and...

I didn't think it matter.
Let you be a little proud of me

in front of your mother.
It's just...

I didn't ask him to come.
Mother sent him.

Just when I b*rned myself,

and I put two cups of salt
in the cake.

Mike, you're laughing.

Oh, it's just reaction, I guess.
But when I opened that door,

and the Chinese man walked out...

You're not angry?

Well I'd like to be,
but I guess I'm too relieved.

Oh Mike.

And I didn't lie. When you asked
me if it was a man, I meant...

I understand all that, kitten.

But just the same, we can't do
that sort of thing to each other.

I know. I'm sorry.

All the love and trust
in the world

wouldn't stand many
misunderstandings like that.

It was dishonest too.
I'm awfully ashamed.

Enough to tell the truth in case
anyone mentions your dinner tonight?

- Oh, Mike, do I have to? I did most of...
- That's deception.

Yes Mike.

- Please say you'll forgive me and I'll never do it again.
- Never?

Because I wont take it, Candy.

And if you ever, ever do anything
like that again, well I'll... I'll...

Anything else I can do
to help, dear?

Sorry to keep you all waiting, but
this took a lot longer than I thought.

My... The soup seems to have gotten a
little cold, laddelling it out and all.

- No wonder.
- Your plates weren't warm. Oh.

- Oh, but I like it a little chilly.
- I didn't think of that.

May I warm yours for you,
Mother Stewart?

Oh no. Indeed, my dear, I much prefer
it to the kind that scalds your tongue.

- I like mine a little warmer.
- Why, of course.

Oh, nonsense. Then yours'll be cold.
Geraldine doesn't mind.

Oh no, of course not.
Only Candice asked me.

No she didn't.
She asked your mother.

John! Please pardon my brother.
Actually. His manners are too foul.

- I'll go bake an apple.
- Oh, children.

Actually Mother,
it's simply supernatural

the way you can class
a person of 16 with a child.

10 years from now, you'll be
saying you're younger than he is.

You don't say you're younger
than Mike, do you?

You look an awful lot older.

Geraldine, Mike tells me you've
been doing such wonderful things

along educational lines.
Must be fascinating work.

It's constructive work.

Some of the results we get with the
child's mind are very satisfying.

Just what do you do,
Ms. Stewart?

I'm principal of
the High States school.

Aye, that is
a responsible position.

Gosh, I bet that's what
makes you look so old.

Mother, can't you do something
about him?

Oh my goodness, dear, adults never pay
any attention to a child's idea of age.

- Can we help you, Candy?
- No thank you, Mother, Mike will.

Mike, I shouldn't have had
them all together like this.

With my mind on dinner,
I'm not managing the conversation right.

And John ought to be throttled.

Oh, Geraldine knows
he's just a kid.

And if she doesn't, why,
she can go... frost a cupcake.

I don't want her frosting,
I want her to like me.

Oh, well don't worry darling,
my sister isn't exactly the cuddly type.

But she'll feel it's her duty
to like her sister-in-law.

Mom thinks you're colossal.
In a small way, of course.

- She does?
- Mmm-hmm. Before dinner, she said,

"Mike, even though Candy can't
hold a candle to other girls

- "you've considered marrying, I'm glad..."
- Oh.

Look, you go light the fire so the
living room will be cozy for coffee

while I get the roast done.

Mike, you carve, don't you?
If you don't, I could ask Dad.

Steal my thunder in my own castle?

I've been waiting all evening for
this moment to impress your father.

I've got a dilly of a jackknife.

Actually John, there's
no such word as dilly.

That's odd. Mike's always
carved very well.

Well, I bet you say that
to all the boys.

It's an awfully good carving set.

Greer and Candice d'Auberville
gave us.

I expect she kept it sharpened
better than you have.

Oh, is that
what's the matter with it?

I'm sorry Mike,
why didn't you say so?

I'll get that lovely long
kitchen one.

Is that any sharper, dear?

Oh yes, I could even
open cans with it.

- Say, something smells like smoke.
- Yes, my eyes are smarting.

It is smoke, isn't it? Is something
burning in the kitchen, dear?

Why no, Mother,
there's nothing lit except the...

Uh-oh.

Must be the fireplace.

Call the fire department!

Go open the window!

Go on, do not rush
the nearest exit.

- I'll get these windows here.
- Yes, I'll help you.

- I hope it's good and hot.
- It is.

You're all terribly uncomfortable?

No, it's lots colder than this
at...

camp.

- You're taking cold.
- Oh no Ms. Steward, he... sneezes a lot.

We both do.

So sorry this had to happen.

Oh, accidents will, Candy, and we'll be
able to close the windows pretty soon.

Sure, and if not, well, we can get the bundling
boards out of the attic and all go to bed.

I should think you'd have tried
the fireplace first, Michael.

I should have.
Just didn't think.

Well we can do it without a fire tonight.
I fancy this is a very cozy little place.

Oh, you haven't seen it before, Mrs.
Goodwin?

No.

Well I was under the impression
you bought it for them.

I should say not. We all had a very
definite understanding before they married.

They're on their own.

Oh, but how is that possible
on Michael's salary?

Well, that's up to Candy and me.

Entirely. If Candy's made a mistake,
she'll have to find it out in her own way.

I haven't made any mistake, Dad.

No, Michael's the one who
should have had better sense.

- That's enough, Geraldine.
- Please don't, Mike. I see what your sister means.

Do forgive Geraldine's
outspokenness, my dear.

She put him through school, you know, and
has worked awfully hard for his future.

There's no need to apologize for me,
Mother. I'm not criticizing Candice.

Only Michael's foolishness
in marrying her.

I'd hate to have to ask you
to leave.

Now why be dramatic, Michael.

We all know that you're in no
position to take on liabilities.

Candy? A liablity?

Anyone could understand why we
disapproved of this marriage,

but I'm hanged if I can see
where Candy'd be a liability.

Right now he needs a wife who
can run his home efficiently.

Candice is a charming girl.
She's intelligent and well-bred.

But of what practical value
is she?

She can make bandages for the Red
Cross that are positively supernatural.

And models in all
the Junior League style shows.

Coffee, Mother?

If you've done everything you can towards
being unpleasant, you can go home now.

Oh, I'm not
being unpleasant, Michael.

I'm only trying to make your
position clear to Mr. Goodwin.

So he'll realize it's his duty
to help you financially.

He told you before,
we had that all out.

And I don't need anyone's help
to support my wife.

And I don't appreciate
your meddling.

Well, I've done my duty
as I saw it.

If you can work this marriage out
on this basis, then I'm mistaken.

I hope I am.

Well we can, Geraldine.
Really we can.

And you're right about the
kind of wife Mike should have.

It's exactly the kind
I'm going to be.

Then I've nothing more to say.

And you certainly have
an excellent start, my dear.

Why, this little house couldn't
be arranged any sweeter.

- Or kept any nicer.
- Oh thank you, Mother Stewart.

And I never started my married life
being able to cook a dinner like this.

Oh, well...

- You see, the dinner...
- Was wonderful, Candy.

- But Mike, you told me...
- That you're the best little cook a man ever married.

- You admit that?
- It was a very good dinner.

Hmm, there. You see? Now how many
brand-new brides could start out

by cooking a dinner like this one.
All alone.

Don't over excite yourself, dear.
Just remember your blood pressure.

Oh Candy, you know
how I feel about the club.

Particularly after what
your father said.

Seems like we're
accepting something from him.

Dad gave every member of the
family a life membership years ago.

So mine's mine, isn't it?
Why shouldn't we use it.

Come on, Mike. You do see we're not
accepting anything from Dad, don't you?

I should have married that girl
I used to see on the train.

- Hello Candy!
- Hi there!

Hi!

- Do I know them?
- Why, it's Ann and Mary and Winkie Rogers.

- I'm going to play golf with them.
- Oh.

You can get a game with some
of the boys in the locker room.

Oh.

Oh, you just bought.

- Uh, pencil?
- Oh, certainly sir.

Bring me a sandwich,
will you, Henry?

- Chicken, Mr. Martin?
- Yeah, chicken's all right.

- How are the lobsters today?
- Oh, excellent, sir.

Bring me one.

Say, that's an idea.
I'll have one instead of the sandwich.

Make it three.
Champagne would go nice with that.

So it would.
Not a bad idea at all.

- Oh, bring a bottle.
- And what'll you have, sir?

Oh, a... aspirin.

- Say, that's all on Stewart's check.
- So it is.

Well, that's a couple of
lunches we owe you, Mike.

Excuse me, sir. Mr. Hamilton would like to
see you and Mrs. Stewart in his office.

Oh, thanks.

- Who is Mr. Hamilton?
- The new manager. And sweeping clean as a new broom.

You probably forgot
to pay your bill.

Well, I might as well find out.

- How do you do, Mrs. Stewart?
- How do you do?

- Let me get you a chair.
- No, this'll be all right.

I've been wanting to meet you both.
Sorry it had to be in this way.

- In this way?
- Oh yes dear. Be nonchalant. Light a b*mb.

Oh, I don't think it's that much of a
shock. Just a little misunderstanding.

Mr. Stewart tells me that
you were under the impression

- that you had a life membership here.
- I have.

Had, Mrs. Stewart.
Your father bought it some time ago.

But during the reorganization
of the club last year,

he found it more practical to take the
new membership and pay by the month.

How... How much do we owe you?

- Oh, something in the neighborhood of $300.
- $324.76.

- Not including today's slips.
- Well that's right.

I only brought it to your attention
because most of our members

dislike being posted. After a week on
denied credit, we have to do it, of course.

Of course.

And in order to keep your membership
record clear for the future.

Oh, that doesn't matter.
We'll discontinue the membership.

Oh, Mrs. Steward! Why,
after all these years?

Surely if I took it up
with your father...

We may need a little time,
but we can take care of our bill.

From now on though,
you'll have to consider us ex-members.

Well, if that's the way
you want it, Mr. Stewart.

- No one could be sorrier than I.
- I could.

You're wonderful, Mike. Any other man
would be a self-made widower by now.

- We all have our temptations.
- Oh, you are angry?

Of course I am. $325 worth.

Well, how was I to know that
Dad changed my membership.

Well, if it was your membership,
it was your business to know.

It's a stupid thing to say.

Not as stupid as you must be.

Even if you
don't support yourself,

you can at least find out
what's being done for you.

- And how much you're costing other people.
- Oh, I'm stupid, am I?

Or maybe you're right.
I must have been to have married a man

who squeezes a nickel till...

Oh Mike. What are we doing?

- Fighting.
- Well we can't. We musn't.

This is our first real problem.
We've got to work it out together,

not quarrel about it.

- Hmm. I guess so.
- It was my callousness. I was stupid.

Will I ever do anything right?

Well, there was one thing
you were right about.

Belonging to the club wasn't
accepting anything from your father.

You say you'll forgive me,
I'll tell you something.

- Oh, I suppose I do.
- No, don't suppose it. Say you really do.

All right. Just this once. But if you
ever, ever do anything like this again...

Don't you wanna hear
what I have to tell you?

- You're in the ladies' locker room.
- Oh.

Oh!

With the household expenses cut
to the bone, I mean the marrow,

we might squeeze about
12 bucks a month.

Would a bank lend it to us?

We're trying to pay it off.
What's the difference who we owe it to?

That's right. Well, the only solution
is to make more money, isn't it?

- Maybe you could get a raise, huh?
- Maybe. In a few months.

I could get a job.

- What could you do?
- You know Mike, sometimes you're positively masculine.

"What can you do." For one thing,
I can make perfectly beautiful fudge.

And for another thing,
Winkie Rogers offered me a job today.

Why'd he offer you a job?

The girls were talking about
people working, and...

Winkie said he could use me. As a
receptionist at the broadcasting studio.

Mike, please let me do it!

And just till we pay this off!

Look, kitten.
You don't want to work.

Oh, it isn't that. I'll be terribly
glad to be able to help us.

It's just that it's against
my nesting instinct, I guess.

- And...
- And what?

Once some girls get jobs...
Well, Mary was saying today...

Oh, but we're different,
aren't we?

Well if that makes sense,
I'll take the blue plate special.

Oh, what does make sense is that I'd
be working for a different reason.

Our marriage is different.
We're different.

- Oh, forget about it.
- Yes dear.

Oh darling, I forgot to tell you.

I'm going to town tomorrow,
so I'll come home with you.

Oh. May I ask
what you're going in town for?

You may ask,
but I'm not going to tell you.

So...
Well, it's sort of a surprise.

Candy dear, ever since I've been married
to you, life's been full of surprises.

Oh what I mean is,
well, it isn't a trick?

Trick? Oh, Mike.

Besides, how could I ever
hope to trick you.

Well, all right then.

All the way home on the train tonight, you
acted like the cat that ate the canary.

- Now what is it?
- You mean, what did I eat?

No, you know what I mean. Are you
sure you haven't something to tell me?

Tell you... Let me see...

Oh yes, I took that job today.

Oh. No tricks, huh?
Just a bag of 'em.

Don't you call me a bag.

I had to, Mike.
You know I had to.

I got you into debt and I'm
gonna help you get out of it.

- I suppose I should appreciate it.
- Definitely.

Well I wish I could.

Other than my feelings in the
matter, who's gonna run the house?

Who's gonna market
and cook and clean?

- Willametta.
- Willa-what?

Willametta.
She started this morning.

She's an awfully
capable woman, Mike.

I interviewed her myself.

And, and so reasonable,
energetic too.

You should have seen the head of
steam she had worked up this morning.

Don't you worry about
me not liking it.

It's nice to come home nights,
like you, to a surprise meal,

and a cozy house and cheery fire.

Mike, do you suppose
the fiends flew away with her?

Well, with that head of steam
she had worked up this morning,

it's more likely she exploded.

Who could it be besides termites?

Oh, lots of things. Two knights in armor,
settling a difference, for instance.

Well, anyway, she's still here...

Ohhh.

Uh, you're sure we're
in the right house?

I'll find out. Willametta?

Say, I am glad you're home.

It's as lonesome as heck
around here after dark.

Willametta, what happened here?

I cleaned.

You see, dear, practically anything
can be explained if you know the words.

But, the furniture?

Say, I didn't think it looked
like when I'd come.

Some of the things are in
the wrong place, ain't they?

The only things that aren't
are the windows.

- Didn't clean those.
- Say, you're right there!

Don't start trickling stuff around
now, 'cause supper's ready.

We'd like to wash up
a bit before dinner.

You can't tonight,
everything's on already.

I'll tell you about
your blouse later.

What blouse?

Why, the one you gave me
to rinse out.

It's scorched right
down the front.

Must have been made of
that rayon, I guess.

My very best silk one.

Oh, never mind, dear,
the rest of the house lasted,

and you'll feel a lot better
after that surprise meal.

She meant it, everything's on.

This is the sort of thing
the right people laugh about.

I don't think it's funny.

It isn't our house anymore
when it's like this.

It's all wrong and unhappy
and unfriendly.

Oh, nonsense, there's nothing a matter
with the house except Willametta,

and there's nothing a matter with
Willametta that a miracle wouldn't cure.

Come on, if she calls this supper,
we're not too foolhardy to try ti.

Better stop before
the rabbit comes out.

Aw, you got the wrong trick.
This one turns into a milk white dove.,

a bird to give Willametta.

Well, let's see if she can
work that one out.

She couldn't have
boiled the lettuce, could she?

Possibly, if she wanted to
make sure it was good and dead.

- Ouch.
- What's the matter?

- My shoe hurts.
- One of the new ones?

The one I'm eating.

Mike, what will we eat?

I'll settle for anything
with its fur off.

- I'll find something.
- Uh-uh!

Not Willametta, even peeled
she'd be tougher than this.

I may split an infinitive
or two, but I won't skin her.

I don't think.

Say, them old glasses
don't wear so good, do they?

They were Swedish.

Oh, no wonder!

Mike, she broke all those beautiful little
glasses Grandmother Goodwin gave us.

Aw, never mind, dear,
we've still got each other.

What good are we to
drink out of at parties?

Well, maybe we can trade some of our
chafing dishes in for some glasses.

Maybe we can.

Oh, darling, you're such
a comfort at times like this.

Look here, young woman,
I've been waiting for 20 minutes,

and I've got to leave
here at 5:00.

I'm sorry, Mr. Murray, but he's tied
up and there's nothing I can do.

Well, you can call him
again, can't you?

No, I can't, I've already
announced you.

That's the trouble with you
office girls, no initiative,

then you wonder you're stuck behind
dinky little desks all your lives.

You poor darling, to put up with that
sort of thing in this foul weather.

Here, I'm exhausted and I've spent the
whole day simply saturating in the pool.

Winkie, Anne's here.

You look like something
in a tall, frosted glass.

I don't feel it.

If I hadn't promised Winkie on my
mother's third husband's grave,

that I'd drive over to that new
Seabreeze Club on the island tonight,

I'd let myself wilt hours ago.

- That sounds like treason.
- Sounds heavenly to me.

Then why don't you come along? It's
actually cool enough to dance out there.

Thanks, I meet Mike
at the station at nights.

Well, if you melt and run all over the
train, don't say we didn't ask you.

Bye, darling, we'll lunch
one of these days.

Seabreeze Club, on the island.

Mike, do you ever hear
of the Seabreeze Club?

No, sounds like a good place
to hear of, though.

- Let's go there.
- Sure we will, some time.

I mean tonight.

It's Willametta's day off and I can bathe
and change instead of cooking dinner.

Well, if they're taking nails for money,
we've got a pound or two around the house.

I know, it costs so much more
to work than I thought,

and Willametta just can't seem
to keep the grocery bills down,

even for three, I know
I wouldn't run so high.

She says she eats like a bird.

Sure, a vulture.

She doesn't keep up that
supercharged dynamo that she runs on

by toying with
a piece of dry toast.

I supposed I can
speak to her again.

Yeah, and while you're at it,
see if you can get her to

give up those tricks she's been
doing with my sheets lately.

Fun's fun, but an apple pie bed
every night for a week is excessive.

I'll tell her.

Mike, why can't we
eat out tonight?

- You know why, Candy.
- I'm tired.

Tired of being polite to rude
people and eating in cafeterias

and making this trip every day.

I'm tired of being efficient
and speaking to Willametta,

and sitting home
night after night.

Doesn't it ever occur to you
that after a day like I've had,

I'd like to go out someplace.

Did it ever occur to you,
that after a day like I've had,

that I'd like to come home
to a tidy, well-kept house,

and a wife that isn't
tired and cross.

I'm not cross. I can't even talk
without you acting like a bear.

- Hello, Mr. Willoughby.
- Well, good evening.

- Good evening.
- I thought you people came home a little earlier.

Oh no, we love our work,
stay at it until the last minute.

What can we do for you?

Well, I'll tell you, I have a couple
just crazy about your little place here.

- Like to rent it furnished for a few months.
- Oh, no.

Well, they'll pay a nice rental.

I couldn't bear to have
another couple in our house.

Well, just thought I'd mention it.

You know, we all get in
financial jams now and then,

and I just thought, if you're having
a little difficulty with the payments,

- Difficulty?
- Well, we haven't had the last one, yet, you know.

Candy, there's a wolf at our door.

Will you tell him about taking the
money to the downtown office last week?

- No.
- No, what?

No, I didn't.

I'll be in tomorrow though,
will that be all right.?

Perfectly, Mrs. Stewart.
Well, I'm sorry to have troubled you.

Oh, no trouble at all.

Glad there's no difficulty.

No, no, just a bit
of mismanagement.

- You know how woman are.
- I should.

I should. I married
four of them.

Mike, I took $19 out of it.

I'll have to wait until I get
paid tomorrow to put it back.

If you're going to be
dramatic, I'm going to scream.

I had to have a dress, my clothes
aren't right for sitting at a desk.

I paid $19.50 for it and
borrowed from the house money.

I don't call that
a criminal offense!

- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because you'd of made an issue of it.

Because every measly dollar in
our lives is a major crisis,

and because I'm sick of discussing
money morning, noon, and night.

Well, they only way you can avoid
discussing it is to have it, and I haven't.

You knew that
before we got married.

I didn't know we were going to
eat, sleep, and live the subject.

Now, wait a minute, Candy, we can't
get ahead until we get out of debt,

and we can't get out of debt
by postponing payments,

and buying things that aren't
even included in the budget.

Here we go again, that budget!

I told you living
within it wasn't fun,

but you were going to learn
to manage money.

It isn't a matter of managing
money, it's money managing us.

Our whole life is regulated
through that stupid club.

They didn't do without anything,
what difference does it make

how long it waits?

Well, let me tell you,
from now on,

I'm going to buy the things
that are right for us to have,

without ever looking
at that bulldozing budget!

- Not as my wife, you're not.
- Ohhh!

Either I do it your way,
or I'm not your wife?

- I didn't say that.
- Yes, you did, and that's just the point.

Nothing's more important
to you than money,

you've put it first since
the day we were married.

Are you too stubborn
or stupid or short sighted

to see that we've got to consider
money until we've got enough of it?

Now, that may take years.

And if you can't take it,
you better go back where there's plenty.

So I won't be anymore
expense to you, is that it?

All right, I will,

at least my family will have a
few other topics of conversation,

that will be a relief to hear!

Hello. I got your message just
as I was leaving the office.

I hope you didn't have some
other plans for the night.

Oh no, no, I'm glad to see you.

- How's Mom?
- She's well, she sends her love.

You heard from Candace?

Oh, no, they're not back
from the mountains yet.

My, they've been gone
some time, haven't they?

Yeah, I read that they left
the day after we split up.

Is Aunt Ethel coming
for Christmas?

We don't know yet.

What have you done
about the house?

- Nothing.
- Nothing?

It could have been bringing in
some money all of this time.

I suppose so, but it
isn't important.

Money's always important.

Why haven't you done
something about it?

I don't know why, I guess I've
been waiting for Candy to get back.

She hated the idea of renting it.

That's odd, because she rented it.

- She rented our house?
- Mmm-hmm.

Some people were so anxious to have it
that it's bringing in quite a nice sum.

- Well, how do you like that?
- I don't believe the gentleman will be eating.

Why not? Of course
I'll be eating.

Bring me some roast beef, rare.

- Who told you?
- Candace, I met her today.

- They're back?
- They're not back, she didn't go with them.

You mean she's been right here all that
time and she just took our house...

Geraldine, if you just asked
me to come here tonight,

so you could say,
"I told you so," I'm leaving.

Why should I say it?
I did, didn't I?

- Only I was wrong.
- In a pig's eye.

Me, eating my heart out, and she's been
right here playing around all the time.

Now, that's where you're wrong.

She got a raise at her job,
she's been doing some night work,

and with the money that's
coming in from the house,

that club bill will be
paid off this month.

But I paid that last week.

Well, you two should get together.

Yeah, how? She hasn't
even bothered to call me.

She has her pride, Michael.

She's not going to call you until
she's got you completely out of debt.

Debt? What do I care
about debt?

Where is she?

In a little apartment,
the other side of town.

She says it's amazing how you can
cut expenses with no commutation.

Oh, hang the expenses,
what's the address?

Well, she made me promise
not to say a word to you,

so would you tell her that
I had my fingers crossed?

Thanks, hon.

What did I tell you?

Mrs. Stewart! Mrs. Stewart!

I'm Ted Graham from the end of the hall,
you've just got to help me, Mrs. Stewart,

You've just got to!
May I come in?

I hate to be obvious,
but aren't you?

Oh, yes, I'm sorry,
I'm not usually like this.

It's Wendy, she's coming
tonight, read it.

"Ducky, darling."
Think I should?

I told her I had a place for her, she's
waited ever since we were first married.

- And I haven't.
- You haven't waited?

Oh, I've waited alright, months for
the job, I finally got it last week,

but I didn't tell her because
she's worried,

I let her think that I was
working all along,

and she thinks I've got
a place for her, see,

and I could just...

Let's start fresh.

- The place you haven't?
- That's right.

And one night your door was open and
it looked so nice and friendly in here,

I went right in and wrote Wendy all
about it, only I said it was for her.

- Well, how did you intend to explain it?
- I don't know.

I missed her so, I was just
sort of pretending on paper,

and after I got my job, I was gonna
move and tell her I got a better place.

- Well why don't you?
- In an hour?

And I just can't have her come to that
one bed and shiver old room of mine.

Why, this is practically
our honeymoon!

- What could we do in an hour?
- Move!

You move into my room,
and I'll move in here,

and I'll pay you exactly double a month's
rent and you can have my room free.

- Double a month's rent?
- Look, see.

I've got money. I forgot to
tell you, I've got my job.

There. Please, Mrs. Stewart,
just for a month,

then I'll tell Wendy
and we'll move, please.

- If you've ever been in love you will.
- Will I?

But that means, that means
I can call Mike tomorrow.

- I'll get my things.
- Wait!

Take these.

- Shall I take that?
- No, I'll throw my things in it.

I'll do something
for you sometime.

Sonny, you've done it.

Candy?

- Oh, I beg your...
- Aren't you in the wrong place?

Aren't you?

Now, don't tell me
you're her mother's cook.

- Oh, you must be Mr. Stewart.
- Mind reader.

Hey, wait a minute,
don't get this wrong.

Mrs. Stewart said
I could move in.

That's what I figured.

Help! m*rder! Police!

Help!

- What are they fighting about?
- The big one made a slurring remark about the President.

In there.

Break it up!

Mike!

Break it up!

"Socialite slaps officer,
husband..."

To think, I spent weeks and
weeks crying my eyes out for you,

and you show up just to
make me ridiculous.

I supposed if you'd come to my
apartment and found a woman there,

you wouldn't have
thought a thing of it.

That's entirely different.

- All right, all right, I know the way from here.
- You ought to.

- Look Llewyn. He finally slugged her.
- Yeah.

- He did not.
- Too bad, honey.

I thought maybe you'd being to
get on with this marriage racket.

- You mean you hit your wife?
- Naturally.

What do you think I'm here for?

- What did he do?
- He helped me.

- He did?
- He said yeah.

Yeah.

- Why did you hit her?
- Because she's my wife, of course.

And all wives have to be
smacked around now and then,

otherwise what happens?
You're in a rut.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

This way your marriage
is always fresh.

I smack her ears down,
she has me pinched.

I wait down here,
she pays my fine,

then she cries a little,
and I forgive her.

- You forgive her?
- Sure, I love her.

Yeah.

What are you in for?
You hit him?

No, she hit the arresting officer.

- Uh-oh. Why?
- Because he hit Mike.

Hey, I guess maybe in her way,
she's in love with him.

- Yeah.
- Of course I'm in...

I am not. I hate him.

I hate everybody.
I wish my mother were here.

Mrs. Stewart,
your mother's here.

Hey, will you make a wish for me?

Candy, dear, we just got back
and read the papers.

Your father's paying your bail
and yours too,

although I must say,
you've certainly made fools of us all.

I say mother-in-laws ought to
stay out of things like this.

You'll pardon my friends,
they haven't seen me since college.

Was the scrap really as good
as the papers say it?

And you hitting a policeman,
it's positively supernatural.

You're right, it should
have been Mike!

- Now dear, there's no use being bitter.
- I'm not bitter, I'm mad!

You've got a lot
of reason to be mad,

you're being right here in town all the
time and not even bothering to call me.

But I had to prove that I'd
learned my lesson, didn't I?

That I was some use to you,
that I could manage money.

Well, now that I've done it, I'm through!
Money, money, money!

Shakespeare was right,
it is the root of all evil.

The love of money, dear,
and it's the Bible, not Shakespeare.

Why do they always have
to sound alike?

- Oh, hello Mother Stewart.
- Another mother-in-law?

Yeah.

The family's full of them.

So money is breaking you up
after all, isn't it?

Money has nothing to do with it.

Candy's hurt because
I didn't trust her.

And that's something you are
going to have to answer to me for.

Oh, yes? Well, how would
it appear to you,

if you found a man without any
pants in Mother's apartment?

Candy!

- So, that's it.
- Yeah.

Oh, I should have known better.

I hardly see how you could have.

Well, I could have found out,
couldn't I?

And certainly should have before
you made Candy a laughingstock.

Since when does it make a wife a laughingstock
to have her husband jealous of her?

I hate a man that will
let others hang around.

Well, if I'd shown
a glimmer of intelligence,

I wouldn't have had us all
in the newspapers.

If I hadn't been so darn
proud and silly,

there wouldn't be anything
to get in the newspapers.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

After the way I acted,
it's a wonder you even speak to me.

Any other husband would have
just gotten a divorce.

Nonsense, I was to blame!

- No, it was all my stupid fault!
- It certainly was not!

Oh, Mike!

It's marriages like that that
end up in the divorce courts.

Yeah.

Mike, I want to tell you that anyone
who has taught this young lady

to toe the line
has done a swell job,

and I admit, I'm a little surprised
that you had the stuff to toe with.

But I haven't taught her anything,
she's learned all by herself.

Oh, yes, that reminds me.

Mr. Hamilton says you two are building
yourselves a nice credit there at the club.

He was wondering if you'd like
it applied on the membership,

or if you want to draw it in cash.

- But, Dad, we were just paying our bill.
- Bill?

Well, that 300...

Oh, I paid that months ago,
wedding present.

Well, that gives you
a nice little nest egg.

To spend for something
you really want.

Why don't you buy a new car
before yours comes apart?

Still then, they better have
a baby before they come apart.

Don't tell me,
this is where you came in.

What'd you do, get married again?

Haven't you any imagination?
This is the first time.

Well, it's nice you
got around to it.

Remind me to do something
for your reputation sometime.

Our house, and don't tell me
how many payments we owe on it.

I won't, besides
we've made tenants.

Mike, you're incorrigible.

That ain't what he was
the last time.

Well, naturally not,
marriage changes a man.

This time I'll even let
you carry the bags in.

Well, at least we're sure the light hasn't
been on in the refrigerator all this time.

Yeah, but can you see all right?

For this we can.
Ready, Mr. Stewart?

Ready, willing and able.

I hope.

One more honeymoon and it'll never occur
to me to walk across the threshold.

One more honeymoon,
and there won't be any threshold.

Thanks and keep the change.

Oh, thanks, and if you people are
thinking of getting married again,

you know where my stand is.

Yeah, we'll see you
next honeymoon.

If my wife holds out.

- What's the matter?
- I've forgotten where I've packed the blankets.

Oh, well never mind, dear,

I'll bet this is something
we can sleep in.

At least this time I can cook
and we can stay out of debt.

Yeah, if we don't have a baby.

Strawberries. Oh, Candy,
they're so expensive this time of year.

I know, dear, but I just
had a craving for them.