04x06 - Dennis in Gypsyland

[bunniefuu]

-Here you are, Dad.

Another pair of your

shoes, all shined.

-That's fine, son.

-Well, I'm all finished.

You promised me $ . for

every pair of shoes I shined,

and I've shined six pair.

-Well, then I guess

I owe you $ . .

There you are, son.

-Oh, boy.

Thanks, Dad.

-Oh, Dennis?

How come six?

I've only got four pair.

-I know.

Two pairs were my own.

-Den--

[theme music]

-Eloise?

Mail came.

-Anything for me, dear?

I've been expecting

a letter from Mother.

-Oh, I didn't think

your mother could write.

-John Wilson.

-Uh, well, she did sprain

her wrist, didn't she?

-Oh, that was two months ago.

Now stop being funny.

What's this?

-Oh, my manuscript,

back from the publisher.

Probably wants me to

make a few minor changes.

Let's see what he has to say.

"Dear John, Attached I'm

returning your manuscript

titled "Gypsy Life Today."

Hope you won't mind some

rather pertinent suggestions."

Well, he's paying

for it, so I guess

he's entitled to

a few suggestions.

I've been stabbed!

-What was the name

of this manuscript?

"How to Make Confetti"?

-That pompous, addlepated--

-What else does he say?

"Could it be,

John, that you have

forgotten the first

ABC of writing.

Quote, 'write what

you know about.'"

-"Your story is entirely too

speculative, too generalized.

I want something

from someone who

has been intimately

associated with gypsies

or has taken the

trouble to become so.

Someone who will get to know

them, get under their skin.

This, I would buy."

This he would buy?

Who does he think he is?

-He's right, John.

When you did that

article, you didn't

go near those gypsies

camped on the edge of town.

Dear, you can't

find out about them

peeping through a

telescope five miles away.

-You know I tried to see them.

They wouldn't talk to me.

They're clannish and-- and

suspicious of strangers.

Eloise, what can I do?

-Why don't you see a gypsy

fortune-teller and find out?

-Ha, ha, ha, ha.

-Well, I'd better clean up this

mess and get to my shopping.

There isn't a thing in

the house for lunch.

-Get to know them.

Get under their skin.

Mmm.

-[screams] John!

-Eloise, stop that.

MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): There's

a horrible-looking man-- John!

-Eloise, it's me.

-Oh, get back.

Don't you come near me.

Go Away!

-Eloise, it's me.

Look!

Your husband.

-John, what are doing in

that ridiculous get-up?

-Don't you know a

gypsy when you see one?

-Oh.

-Ah, madam, let

Julio read your palm.

Ah, I see a tall,

dark, handsome man.

He is your husband.

He is mingling with the gypsies.

-Are you sure you

don't see him mingling

with two men in white

coats come to get him?

-Don't you worry, dear.

This is going to be my most

brilliant piece of research.

While you were downtown, I

raided the Salvation Army

and Buck Smiley's Gadget Shop.

-Oh, John.

Don't you think you're

going up a bit far?

-Far?

After that insulting

letter from my publisher?

He thinks I can't do an

accurate piece of writing, eh?

Well, when I get

through with this,

I'll show him a thing or two.

[giggles]

-Come on, you stubborn,

cantankerous--

[donkey braying]

-John!

What on Earth?

-Oh, this drive-it-yourself

donkey I rented

is stubborn as a mule.

Now come on, come on, giddy-up.

Giddy-up.

[donkey braying]

-(SWEETLY) Come on, boy.

That's a good

little donkey, yes.

Come on.

That's a good boy.

Yes, that' a fine boy.

There.

-Well, Eloise, you certainly

have a way with donkeys.

-I should after years.

-Well, I'll get on him, and

then you give him a shove.

-You're certainly not

going to ride him, are you?

-Well, he's certainly

not going to ride me.

-John, are you sure?

-Now Eloise, don't worry.

I checked the encyclopedia.

Gypsies travel with

horses, mules, or donkeys.

-I hope you're right.

It's a encyclopedia

you were looking at.

-Well, I'll get started

before anybody-- uh-oh,

here comes Dennis.

I'll go out through the alley.

-Be careful, dear.

-Bye, dear.

Tally ho!

Yo!

-Hi, Mrs. Wilson!

-Hello, Dennis.

-Is Mr. Wilson-- hey, what's

that funny-looking thing

on your face?

-Oh, good heavens,

he'll need this.

Dennis, run and catch Mr.

Wilson and give him that.

He's headed for that gypsy

camp over by Pine Grove.

-I'll get my bike and catch him.

-Oh, good.

-I know a shortcut.

-Thank you.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson!

-Uh, no speak-a de English.

No speak-a de English.

Get out of my way, little boy.

-Mrs. Wilson said

you needed this.

-What?

Oh, oh.

-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,

You sure look different.

I never would have

recognized you.

-Oh, my aching-- eh,

hey, give me that.

Oh.

Now, you go on back home.

I have important work to do.

-You going to a masquerade

party or something, Mr. Wilson?

-No, I am not going to

a masquerade-- Dennis,

I am interviewing some gypsies

for a magazine article.

And in order to do that, I have

to pretend to be one of them.

Now kindly b*at it.

[g*nsh*t]

-I got him!

Under the bush, Pietro.

PIETRO (OFFSCREEN): We

have good supper tonight!

-Is that gypsies?

-Oh, I hope not.

-Ah, a nice fat boy, ah?

-Yes.

[both laugh]

[donkey brays]

-What is that?

-What does it sound like?

[donkey brays]

-Huh?

Come on, we see.

-Quiet, stupid!

-They're coming.

-Ai!

We're trapped.

-Jeepers, what are we

gonna do, Mr. Wilson?

-Get your bike.

Hide it, quick.

Quick!

-Hey, you.

-Who, me?

Oh, hello.

Hello, gypsies.

-Who are you?

-Uh, I am called Julio.

Come long way.

-Who come with you?

-Oh!

Oh, that, uh, my son, Denniso.

Denniso?

Come out, come out.

We're among friends.

Aren't we?

-How.

My son big fan of

television shows.

-Why is it that gypsy like

you have son with blue eyes?

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):

Hey, they are blue.

Uh-- well, of-- of

course they're blue.

His-- his mother was a blonde.

-That's right, Mr.

Gypsy, a real blonde.

Except for one time

when she was a redhead.

-Uh, yes, yes.

Um, um-- she was not

one of our people.

Let's not talk

about her anymore.

She's a sad memory.

-She was a bad woman?

-Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Very bad.

-My poor brother Pietro

here, the same thing.

No good woman.

Now he be very bitter man.

He not trust anybody no more.

-I do not like strangers.

-Oh, Pietro.

Julio and his son

will not be strangers.

I'm Papa Gamali.

You come to our camp

and we give you food.

-We'd be delighted.

It

-Boy, this stuff tastes great.

What is it, Papa Julio?

-Yes, what is it, Papa Gamali?

-What is it?

You, a gypsy, ask what is it?

-Uh, well, I've been away

from my people so long.

-This is franfranni.

-Of course, franfranni.

-What's franfranni, Papa Julio?

-Oh, eat.

Eat.

Gypsy children should

be seen and not heard.

-Nobody cooks franfranni

like my daughter Lutana.

-Oh, delicious.

Congratulations.

-My daughter Lutana will

make some lucky fellow

a wonderful wife.

-Oh, I can see that.

-Lutana, foolish woman.

Why you make eyes at stranger?

-[chuckles] Don't mind Pietro.

He still don't think

you true gypsy.

-Well, if I wasn't a true gypsy,

what would I be doing here?

-You are not true gypsy-- kcck!

-Gosh, is it OK if

I'm only half a gypsy?

-That isn't your fault, Denniso.

Is it, Papa?

-The boy is OK.

He can't help it

what his mama was.

You are both welcome.

Now we finish eating.

The franfranni gets cold.

-Oh, yes, we can't have

the franfranni get cold.

Especially after your

charming daughter

went to so much trouble.

-[giggles]

-Oh, uh, would you

share this with me?

-Papa!

Papa!

Papa!

-My son, my son!

Oh, you have chosen to divide

bread with my little Lutana.

As you know, according

to gypsy custom,

she shall be your bride!

Oh, I give you my blessing!

-Oh, well, this is

all very flattering,

but I suddenly remember

I have an appointment.

Come along, Denniso.

-Yeah, we got thing to do.

-Oh, ho, ho, you

make very funny joke.

Oh, everybody!

We drink to my new son Julio!

The wedding will be tonight!

-Tonight?

-Jeepers!

He's fainted!

-He's fainted from joy.

Oh, Pietro, come.

We put him in the trailer.

-You feel all right

now, Mr. Wilson?

-I feel awful.

I've got to think of a

way to get out of this.

-Jeepers, I'm not sure

yet how we got into it.

-I'll have to tell

Papa Gamali who I am,

that I cannot marry his daughter

because I already have a wife.

-Oh, I don't know, Mr. Wilson.

You know what they'll

do to you if they

find out you're not one of them.

-What?

-Kcck!

-The coast seems clear.

They're so busy

planning the wedding

that maybe they won't notice.

Now you slip out and

head for the woods.

-But what will you

do, Mr. Wilson?

-I'll be right behind you.

Oh, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

If I don't make

it, find your bike

and pedal home for help

as fast as you can.

-OK, Mr. Wilson.

-Where are you going in

such a hurry, my son?

-Oh, hello there.

I, uh, thought I'd

go into the village

and get some things

for the wedding.

-Good idea!

We all go.

-Still no sign of John.

-Dennis, what exactly did Mr.

Wilson say when you left him?

-He said he'd be

leaving right behind me.

I kept looking for him,

but I never saw him.

-Well, you know, a

donkey is pretty slow.

-Well, I'm not

waiting any longer.

I'm going to that gypsy

camp and get my husband.

-Oh, I'll go with you.

-Me, too.

I have to show you

where the camp is.

-We'll all go.

-Oh.

-Uh, I don't think it's

going to rain, Mrs. Wilson.

-Rain isn't the only thing

you can use an umbrella for.

-Boy, I'd hate to

be those gypsies.

-I wasn't thinking of

the gypsies, Dennis.

-Wanted to see me, Chief?

-Yeah, Mooney, those

gypsies are back in town.

-Oh, they are?

Just leave them to me.

-Now, now, now, hold on, Mooney.

The last time they were

in town, I told them

they could sell in the

streets but if they

wanted to tell fortunes,

they'd have to have a license.

-Well, they didn't

get one, did they?

-No, but even so, I--

I want you to lay off.

Just look the other way.

-Look the other way?

-Yeah, the last time

they were in jail,

they didn't want to leave.

It almost broke the

city feeding them.

-Oh, gee--

-Now you've got

your orders, Mooney.

Lay off those gypsies.

-Yes, sir.

-Are you sure this

is the place, son?

-Sure, I'm sure.

The trailer was parked

right over there.

And here's where they

had their campfires.

-Oh!

Do you think they've

kidnapped him?

-Oh, I hope not.

-There's no telling

which way they went.

The tire tracks lead

in all directions.

-Well, that settles it.

This is a matter for the police.

Come on, let's go.

-You girls get the

food for the wedding.

You boys get the stuff

for the torches, now.

On your way.

What?

What?

No, you stay here.

Now we go to work.

Get your love

potions here, folks.

Find true romance.

Take a powder.

Take a powder.

-I think I will.

-You're going somewhere, gypsy?

-Who, me?

Oh--

-Julio, what I tel you?

You stay close to me, my son.

-Yes, Papa.

-Fortunes told.

Fortunes told.

Hey, man, you want

Lutana read your palm?

Hm?

Cheapskate.

-Lutana!

You can't tell fortune

without license.

You want policeman

to take you away?

-Will they do that?

-Police very strict

in this town.

Can't tell fortune

without license.

-Fortunes told!

Get your fortune told

without a license!

How 'bout your fortune?

Hey!

Policeman!

-Quiet, you fool!

-How about it.

You want your fortune

told without a license?

-Pal, [inaudible].

-Oh, well, if you

must, you must.

-Julio!

-Go on, get lost!

-What?

Look, I am not really

a gypsy, you see.

-Are you kidding?

I said get lost!

-I dare you to

arrest me, Flatfoot!

-Now just a minute!

-Look, Papa Gamali!

Did you ever see such

a stupid flatfoot?

-If I didn't have my orders--

-Mamma mia!

Lutana!

You see that?

Julio is like a lion!

He fears no one!

-Lutana going to have

very brave husband!

-I'm telling you

for the last time,

I demand that the

police take action!

-Calm yourself, Mrs. Wilson.

We'll look into it.

Mooney!

Come in here!

-Want to see me, Chief?

-Where are those gypsies?

-Well, they left town.

It'll soon be dark.

I guess they went

back to their camp.

-I want them brought in.

-But Chief, you

said I shouldn't--

-Never mind what I said.

Go get them!

They've got Mr.

Wilson with them.

-Mr. Wilson?

What would he be

doing with gypsies?

-Marrying one of them, if

we don't get to him in time.

[laughs]

-Now I heard everything.

-It's true!

-Sergeant Mooney, when

you saw the gypsies,

was there one named Julio?

-Yeah.

Real tough guy.

He kicked me!

-He kicked you?

-Right in the middle

of Main Street.

-Jeepers, that was Mr. Wilson.

-Well, why would Mr. Wilson

doing a thing like that?

-Maybe he was trying to

get you to arrest him.

-Yeah, maybe he was trying

to tell you something.

-Well, a couple more

messages like that and I'll

be turning in my badge.

-Go get him.

-Yes, Chief.

-Wait a minute,

we'll go with you.

[music playing]

-Why are you so sad, my son?

Soon you will be a bridegroom.

You should be happy.

-Oh, I am, I am.

Yippee!

-I know what troubles you.

You worry because your

son has disappeared.

-Yes.

I ought to go and look for him.

-Do not worry.

He will return.

Besides, there is no time.

In minutes, you

would be a bridegroom.

Think how happy your

son will be to come back

and find his father married!

[music playing]

[applause]

-Look.

My lovely daughter Lutana.

She is ready for

the wedding dance.

Up, Julio, my brave,

lionhearted son.

Dance with your bride.

-I don't want to dance.

-[inaudible], Papa.

Leave him to me.

[music playing]

-My son has the heart

of a lion and the grace

of a hippopotamus.

-Stop the music!

The moon is high overhead.

It is time for the

wedding, my son.

-Oh, well, I can't

get married now.

I'm just, uh, getting

my second wind.

--[laughs] Oh, it is

time for you to get

dressed for the

ceremony, my son.

You'll wear my wedding suit, no?

I have saved it for

this proud occasion.

-Uh, but I-- I-- uh,

fellas, hey, take it easy.

Oop!

-Oh, Pietro, this is the

happiest moment of my life.

My daughter, at

last I'm losing her.

-I know how you feel.

But in another sense, you're

not losing a daughter.

You're gaining a donkey.

[donkey brays]

-Pietro!

Is that a way to talk

about my future son-in-law?

[laughter]

-Now, here they are, right here.

All right, all right.

Who's in charge here?

-What do you want?

We have done nothing.

-Where's my husband.

-Mr. Wilson?

-Dennis!

-We've come to rescue you!

-My boy, that's wonderful!

-Uh?

So what you are trying to

say is that this man who

calls himself Julio

is your husband?

-Now you're finally catching on.

-Oh, mamma mia!

Now, now, now, now,

don't cry, my little one.

-Eloise!

Eloise!

Eloise!

-Oh, John, oh!

-Ooh, you deceiver!

Leave my camp before

I cut your throat!

-Ooh!

Come on, Pimpernel, I think

we'd better get out of here.

-Yes, before I commit bigamy.

-John, uh, is that the sports

car you rolled out here?

-Oh, good heavens.

-You better get it out of

here, or by County Code ,

I'll have to give you a

ticket for stray animals.

-Uh, Eloise, I guess

I better ride it home,

or I'll be stuck with the fine

and the cost of the animal.

-I'll ride with you, Mr.

Wilson, and keep you company.

-You do that, son.

Mr. Wilson's had a rough day.

-Not rough, Henry.

A nightmare.

I'll see you at home, Eloise.

Come on, Dennis.

-Hey, that's a nice

spread you got here.

-Mm, gypsy bread, huh?

Here, have some, girly.

-Pap!

Pap!

-My son!

Oh!

My son!

-(SHOUTING) Henry!

Henry, wait for me!

-Thank goodness that's over.

-Boy, Mr. Wilson,

you must feel good.

Now you don't have to

live with two wives.

-Yeah, thanks to you, Dennis.

If you hadn't gotten away and

brought help when you did,

I'd be in a bad way.

-Boy, I'll say you would.

-Oh, what a story I could

write about gypsies now.

But who'd believe it?

-I would!

-You?

[laughs]

[theme music]