04x03 - Dennis and the Circular Circumstances

[bunniefuu]

-Who's that funny

looking guy, dad?

-That's your Uncle

Bud, and that's

the car I smashed up for him.

-Smashed up?

-Yeah.

I was just a kid

pretending to drive,

and somehow I

released the break.

And the car rolled down the

driveway into the garage

and tore the door

right off the hinges.

-Jeepers, were you hurt?

-No, but boy, I was scared.

I made Bud promise

not to tell Dad.

-But did he ever find

out what really happened?

-Yes, he did.

When-- when he saw the

car and lit into Bud, I--

I told him, of course, but,

well, Bud hadn't said a word.

He kept his promise.

-That sure was nice of

Uncle Bud, wasn't it?

-Yes, it was, but I think

a better word is loyal.

When Uncle Bud made a

promise, he kept it.

-I guess I take after Uncle Bud,

dad, because I'm loyal, too.

I always keep my promises.

-Well, I'm glad

to hear that, son.

I hope you're always loyal to

your family and your friends.

-Are you loyal, dad?

-Well, I-- I think so.

I try to be.

-Swell, because

today's the day, you

promised to take me

downtown and show

me that super a*t*matic

self-loading m*ssile g*n.

-But-- well, OK.

I guess if I can

sh**t my mouth off,

you can sh**t off a m*ssile g*n.

Come on.

[theme song]

-That m*ssile g*n's

the greatest, dad.

Are you going to buy it for me?

It only costs $ .

-Dennis, I told you

I'd pay for half of it.

You can get it when you've

saved your half of the money.

-I got a dollar and a

half in my piggy bank.

-Then you're going to

need one more dollar.

[music playing]

-Hey, look, Dad, Mrs. Elkins.

-This is Mrs. Elkins

campaign headquarters.

She's running for

assembly woman.

-Yeah, she made a speech

to the school yesterday,

and she told us to be sure and

remind our parents to vote.

-Getting to the kids, huh?

That's pretty smart.

-Well, I don't know, Dad.

What if the kids

reminded their parents

to vote for somebody else?

-Well, you've got a point there.

-Can we go in, dad, and

see what's going on?

-Well, OK.

But just for a minute, son.

-Well I hope you can, Agnes.

Every vote counts.

Henry!

I'll talk to you later.

-Hi, Mrs. Elkins.

We just dropped by

to with you luck.

-Yeah.

Boy, Mrs. Elkins, you must

be getting real famous.

Everywhere I go, I see your

face staring out at me.

-That's great.

She'll appreciate that.

Goodbye.

Just a second, boys.

-So you see, I

have my hands full.

-Excuse me, Lucy.

I set that lady's

club thing for Friday.

-Oh, fine.

Thanks.

Henry, you know Mr. Adams,

cashier of the bank.

-Yes, of course.

How are you, Mr. Adams?

-Mr. Adams is kindly

donating his services

as my campaign manager.

Aren't you, Oliver?

-Glad to do it, Lucy.

Oh, excuse me.

All right, boys.

Be here tomorrow

right after school,

and I'll assign you a territory.

-How much are we going

to get for delivering

these circulars, Mr. Adams?

-You'll each get

a dollar, probably

the easiest dollar

you ever made.

-Did you hear that, dad?

-Come on, son.

Bye, Mrs. Elkins.

-Thank you for coming.

-Just make sure

you're on time, boys.

-Wait a minute, dad.

That's how I can make

that dollar, delivering

circulars tomorrow

afternoon after school.

Ask him, dad.

Ask Mrs. Elkins.

-Ask me what, Dennis?

-Can I deliver some

circulars too, Mrs. Elkins?

-Dennis--

-I don't know, Dennis.

I mean--

-I'll work real

hard, Mrs. Elkins.

Honest I will.

-But we're using

boys of and over.

You're so young, I

don't know whether we

can depend on boys of your age.

-Sure you can.

Golly, I--

-Don't be a pest, Dennis.

Maybe next election time

you can deliver some.

Bye, Mrs. Elkins.

-I'm sorry about the

circulars, Dennis,

but thank you for your

willingness to help.

-You welcome.

But I was willing to

make a dollar, too.

-Think you can work

out here, dear?

-What choice have I?

I can't work inside

with the house

all torn up for paper hangars,

carpenters, and painters.

-Now, dear, it

won't last forever.

-My publisher told

me on the phone

that he would be here tomorrow

afternoon at o'clock.

Now why you had to

pick this time--

-Dear, we didn't know that until

he telephoned us this morning,

and I'd already ordered

the paper hangars.

-Everything all topsy-turvy!

-Now dear, don't you worry.

You can have your

conference tomorrow

right here on the patio.

It'll be nice and quite,

and I'll serve tea,

and everything will be lovely.

Mr.Winfield will understand.

-Well, I'd better get at it.

He thinks I have this

article on Tahiti finished,

and I'm not half done.

-Well, you just stop worrying

and get started on your work.

-All right, Eloise.

-If you want anything,

dear, just yell.

-"In the dazzling splendor

of a Tahitian sunset,

I watched a mother

tenderly caress

her brown-skinned infant."

Well, not bad, not bad.

"The infant--"

[tapping sound]

[tapping sound]

[tapping sound]

[tapping sound]

-Ah ha!

Caught you, didn't I!

Go south!

It's time!

[tapping sound]

[tapping sound]

[tapping sound]

Dennis!

Must you make so much noise?

-I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.

-Well, I don't mean to

snap at you, Dennis,

but I'm trying desperately

to get some work done.

What are you looking

so glum about?

-Aw, it's that Mrs. Elkins.

She won't let me deliver

circulars for a dollar tomorrow

afternoon after

school because she

thinks I'm too young

to be depended on,

and dad won't let me

get a swell new m*ssile

g*n until I pay my half.

-Well, I've got

problems with my own.

-Now I'll have to stick

around the house all tomorrow

afternoon with nothing to do.

-Oh, you'll think of something.

-Hey, I know.

I could build my new tree

house right there in my yard.

And maybe if you have time,

you could help me, Mr. Wilson.

-No, I can tell you tomorrow

afternoon, Dennis, I--

a tree house there in the yard?

Oh, no, Dennis.

I can't have hammering going on

around here tomorrow afternoon.

My publisher is

coming over, and I

have to have a

conference with him.

It's very important.

We're going over contracts.

He's reviewing an

article I'm writing.

It's-- oh, tomorrow

afternoon-- tomorrow afternoon,

you are delivering circulars.

-But Mrs. Elkins said--

-Is it all right

with your parents?

-Oh, sure.

-Then don't worry

about Mrs. Elkins.

I'll take care of her.

My car's in the garage.

-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, you

sure are a good friend.

I just tell you my

troubles, and right away you

drop everything and help me out.

[music playing]

-Mrs. Elkins, how can you

doubt this boy's dependability?

I assure you, Mrs.

Elkins, Dennis

is both dependable and loyal.

Isn't that right, Dennis?

-Yes, sir.

Loyalty runs in my family.

My Uncle Bud was a real--

-Uh, um, yes-- um, what

about it, Mrs. Elkins?

Does Dennis get the job?

-Well, I'd like to give

Dennis the job, but--

-When you refuse him

only because of age,

you are discriminating,

and that's bad.

-Indeed?

It's a pity you didn't have such

lofty sentiments last month.

-Last month?

-When I called on you in my

appeal for campaign funds.

You spoke quite

differently then.

-Well, I-- uh--

-I believe you

said, "Women, they

ought to stick to

their kitchen sinks."

That sounds discriminatory

to me, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, well, I'm sorry

about that, Mrs. Elkins.

I, uh, wasn't myself that day.

But I feel differently now.

-Really?

Well, I had you down

for $ , Mr. Wilson.

-$ ?

-Yes.

Of course, I know you'd

like to give more,

but Mr. Howard on

your block gave $ ,

and if I asked you

for more, he might

think I was discriminating.

-Uh, $ .

There's $ .

Now, what about Dennis?

-Well, in view of your

generous contribution,

I suppose I can

make an exception.

Dennis, you be here

tomorrow afternoon,

and mind you do a good job.

-I will.

Thanks a lot, Mrs. Elkins.

Oh, boy, I'm gonna make

that dollar after all.

-Well, let's get out of here

before she has you contributing

that dollar to

her campaign fund.

[music playing]

-How long do you

think it'll take

you to deliver your

circulars tomorrow, Dennis?

You missed.

-I don't know,

Tommy, but mom says

I have to be home before dark.

-Ah, mom's are all alike.

"Be home before dark.

Be home before dark."

First they want you to

be home before dark,

then they tell you not

to be afraid of the dark.

-Yeah, parents sure get

things mixed up, all right.

-Boy, I wish I could make a

dollar delivering circulars

tomorrow.

Reckon I could?

-Well, I don't know, Tommy.

You're too young.

-What do you mean, too young?

I was born the

same day you were.

-Yeah, you were born

: in the afternoon,

and I was born

: that morning.

-Oh, yeah.

-Mrs. Elkins thought

I was too young,

but good old Mr. Wilson

fixed that up for me.

-Well, maybe I could help

you deliver your circulars.

I'll help you for $ . .

-I don't need any help, Tommy.

-Please, Dennis?

I gotta have some

money by Saturday.

It's mom's birthday,

and I wanted

to get her something

for a surprise.

-Well, all right.

Jeepers, what can you

get good for a quarter?

-Not much, but I can get her

something good for $ . .

-Well, all right, Tommy,

but that's all you can have.

-Jeepers, if I paid you anymore,

I'd been working for you.

-All right, boys, I divide

the circulars into batches,

and on each one you'll

see a boy's name

and the territory he's to cover.

For instance, this one says

"Charles Lang, Plummer Street,

West to Flower Avenue,

north on Flower

all the way to the lake."

All right, Tully, this is yours.

Now then, any questions?

-Yeah.

Charlie can't swim.

What if he falls in the lake?

-Hah hah.

-Very funny, McNulty.

Now then, when

you finish, report

back here, OK, that's it.

Now then, let's do a

bang up, crackerjack job.

Off with you.

Come on, let's go.

-Psst!

Dennis!

-Tommy, where have you been?

-Aw, mom's giving me a bad time.

She says because

my grades are low,

I have to stay in every

afternoon and study,

but I sneaked out.

Come on, let's get to work.

-Jeepers, Tommy, do

you think you should?

-Well, I've got to.

It's my only chance

to earn money

for my mom's birthday present.

-Well, I guess it's all right.

-But you got to

promise you won't

tell a should about me

sneaking out to help you.

-I promise.

-Cross your heart?

-Tommy, when I make

a promise, I keep it.

That's being loyal.

Come on!

[music playing]

-Hey, you!

Hey, kid, do me a favor, change

territories with me, huh?

-What do you want

to do that for?

-Well, I met my

girlfriend, and she

lives in the

territory you've got.

And if you'd swap with

me, I could walk her home.

-Gee, I don't know.

-Ah, what's the

difference as long

as the circulars get delivered?

Besides, it's a

good deal for you.

Your territory's full of hills.

-Well, all right.

-Thanks, kid.

See you around.

-Boy, what a dope, swapping

a good territory just

to walk home with a girl.

-Yeah, but maybe

he's not to dopey.

-Well, what do you mean?

-Well, he probably just

wants his girlfriend

to help him deliver

his circulars.

Come on.

-How you doing, Tommy?

-OK.

I'll bet I'm through

before you are.

-I bet you're not!

[music playing]

-How to succeed in business

without really trying.

[music playing]

[baby crying]

-Boy, I'm pooped.

We sure did that fast.

-Yeah.

Come on, let's go get our money.

-You go get it.

I got to rush home before my mom

finds out I'm not in my room.

And don't forget your

promise not to tell on me.

-Jeepers, Tommy, suppose

your mom did find out.

You did it for her.

She wouldn't have any

reason to get mad.

-Are you kiddin'?

Since when do parents

need a reason to get mad.

I'll see you later Dennis.

-Bye, Tommy.

-You know, Dennis, you're

the first one back.

How did you get done so quickly?

-Well, I had Tom-- well, I

mean, I just worked fast.

-You must have, but you did

a bang up, crackerjack job,

I hope.

-Oh, yes sir, I sure did.

-Fine.

-Thanks, Mr. Adams.

-Don't mention it, son.

You earned it.

It's good to earn money by

doing honest work, isn't it?

Gives you a good feeling, right?

-You bet.

It gives you a real bang

up, crackerjack feeling.

-I found them right here

just about an hour ago.

-Dennis Mitchell.

Well, of all!

-I just thought you ought

to know, Mrs. Elkins.

I mean, you won't get

many votes this way.

-Well, no, I should say not.

I knew in my bones I

should've said no to Dennis.

Well, thank you very much.

-Well, you're very welcome.

-It was a great afternoon.

That publisher of mine really

flipped over my article,

actually flipped.

I had no trouble with

the contract after that.

-Hah!

That's wonderful, John.

-We're so happy for you.

-And when he said, "Wilson,

this calls for bonus,"

then I flipped.

-[laughing]

-Oh, by the way,

Mr. Wilson, I don't

believe we thanked

you for arranging it

so that Dennis could

deliver the circulars.

He's out working now, and

he's tickled pink about it.

-Oh, nonsense.

It was a pleasure to get

him out of the-- get him out

of the-- job, give

the boy a chance

to earn some money for himself.

[doorbell]

-I'll get it.

Excuse me.

Why, Mrs. Elkins, come in.

-Hello, Henry.

-Hello, Mrs. Elkins.

Won't you come in and sit down?

-No, thank you.

Oh, I see you have company.

-Oh, yes.

Mr. Wilson came over to

give us some very good news.

-Well, I with I

could do the same.

Is, um, is Dennis home?

-No, he isn't.

Well, what is it, Mrs. Elkins?

Is something wrong?

-Oh, Alice, I don't

know how to say this.

Here, see for yourself.

-I don't understand.

-What-- you mean you

think that Dennis?

-These were found in an ash

barrel on Bradford Street.

That was Dennis's territory.

His name is right on

them, and Mr. Adams

said he finished

and was back long

before the other boys were.

-Well, I don't

understand this at all.

Why would Dennis do

a thing like that?

-Oh, now, just a minute.

That's ridiculous.

Dennis is too fine

a boy to do any--

-Excuse me, John.

Mrs. Elkins, I assure you,

when Dennis returns home,

we'll get to the bottom of this.

-Yes.

He may have some very

logical explanation.

I hope so.

Well, I must get back to

my campaign headquarters.

-Oh, Mrs. Elkins, could you

leave those with us, please?

-Oh, certainly.

I want you to know I feel

just awful about this.

Of course, in a way,

it was my fault.

I knew Dennis was pretty young,

but I was unduly influenced.

-Yes, $ worth.

-Oh, dear.

What do you think?

-Could be our

son's first attempt

to get something for nothing.

-You know, Mrs.

Elkins might be right.

I was responsible for

his getting the job,

and if he's in trouble,

then I'm partly to blame.

-Oh, come now, John.

You couldn't possibly

have had any idea

that Dennis was going to--

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey, mom!

Hey, dad!

Oh, hi, Mr. Wilson.

Hey, dad, guess what

Stevie Austin got.

A new box kite.

Boy, I bet we had it up

there about a thousand feet.

-Dennis, those circulars you

delivered this afternoon?

-I got my dollar.

-Never mind.

Son, did you deliver

them conscientiously?

I mean, did you--

-Did I good off, you mean?

-That's exactly what I mean.

Did you goof off?

-Well, I didn't quite

deliver all of the circulars.

-You didn't?

-No.

You see, it was somebody's

birth-- uh, well, uh,

I just kept one for souvenir.

-Do you recognize these?

-They're mine.

I mean, they were

mine, but I swapped

with a guy who wanted

to be with his girl.

-You swapped with a guy?

Who?

-I don't know.

-You don't know?

-His name was McNutty

or something like that.

-McNutty?

-Yeah.

-Jeepers, what's everybody

looking at me for?

It's the truth.

-Excuse me, Alice, Henry.

I have an idea.

-Mr. Wilson?

-Yes, Dennis?

-You think I'm telling

the truth, don't you?

-I don't know.

I think so.

-Dennis, Mrs. Elkins said

you were the first one back,

that you got back long

before the other boys.

Now, if you delivered

all the circulars,

how do you explain that?

-Well, I guess I just found a

way to deliver circulars fast.

-How could you deliver

the circulars faster

than the older boys?

-I can't talk about that, dad.

-Well, you're going to deliver

these fast, and right now.

-But dad--

-No buts, Dennis.

Just get going.

-Honey, it's a

little chilly out.

Maybe he should take a sweater.

-All right, son.

Run up and get your sweater.

-Jeepers, dad, I--

-We'll discuss it

when you get home!

Honey, what could I do?

His fairy stories

about finding ways

of delivering circulars faster,

swapping territories with a kid

he couldn't even remember.

-That's right, Mr. Adams.

Can you give me the names

of all of those boys?

Yes, Johnny Lang, Dennis

Mitchell, Richard Tanner,

Ted McNulty--

that's it, McNulty.

Do you know where he lives?

Oh, good, good.

That's right nearby.

Thank you.

[music playing]

-And may I please have the

dollar you got form Mr. Adams?

It's time you learned that

you don't get anything

in this world

without earning it.

-Except a balling out.

-Never mind.

Just yesterday you were

telling me how loyal you are.

You think it's loyal

to throw Mrs. Elkins's

circulars in an ash can?

-How about you, dad?

You said you were loyal,

too, and a loyal dad

ought to believe his kid

when he tells him something.

And I tell you

I-- wait a minute.

I'm going to call Tommy.

-Let him call, dear.

[phone ringing]

-Hello?

-Hello, Tommy?

-Oh, hi, Dennis.

Hey, you don't have to

keep your promise anymore.

Mom knows I sneaked out.

-Tommy, I want

you to tell my dad

that we did deliver

those circulars.

Will you, Tommy?

And tell him how I

swapped with that kid,

and how I got through fast

because you helped, and I

promised not to tell on you.

Go ahead, Tommy.

Here, dad.

-Yes, Tommy, I'm listening.

-Hey, take it easy, will ya?

-I don't care how many dates

you have this afternoon,

Mr. McNulty.

This comes first.

-Yes, Tommy.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you, I understand.

Thank you very much.

-I'll see you tomorrow, Tommy.

Hey, did your mom

give you a licking?

-Nah.

She wasn't half as mad

as I thought she'd be.

-Boy, that's swell.

Bye.

-Oh, Dennis, we're so ashamed.

-We misjudged you, son.

Knowing you the way we do,

we should have believed you.

-Can you forgive us, dear?

-That's OK.

Boy, the way I told

that story, I almost

didn't believe it myself.

[doorbell]

-Friends, meet Ted McNulty,

alias McNutty, trash barrel

filler deluxe.

Ted has something to

say to you, Dennis.

-I'm sorry I got you

into trouble, kid.

I'll explain everything

to Mrs. Elkins.

-Thanks, McNutty.

-My name's NcNulty.

-Aren't you forgetting

something, lad?

The circulars?

-Oh, yeah.

-And don't plan on seeing

your girlfriend this time.

-Thank you, John.

-I guess he really was

gone on that girl of his.

-Boy, how can a guy get

that way about a girl?

-Well, it's hard

to explain, Dennis.

It has something to do

with, uh, chemistry.

-Chemistry?

Jeepers, I'll tell

you one thing.

I'm not going to take

chemistry in school

if that's what it does to you.

[laughter]

-Come on, Tommy.

You better step on it or

we'll be late for school.

-Yeah.

So like I was saying, instead

of giving me a licking,

mom kisses me.

Boy, I can't figure her out.

-If you think she's hard to

understand, what about my dad?

He took my dollar

away, then this morning

he gives me two dollars back.

-What was the other dollar for?

-That's just it.

First he says you

can't get anything

in this world for nothing,

then for no reason at all,

he gives me an extra dollar.

Boy, you can really go crazy

trying to figure parents out.

Yeah.

[theme music]