Mating of Millie, The (1948)

[bunniefuu]

Hey, you, driver, Andrews...

- Hi you, sup.
- Don't call me sup, you're already in it.

The boss told me to scrape some
of the fresh paint off you.

That's nice of him.

No it ain't nice, we had another
complaint about you, some old lady.

If it was the one I think it is, she
stuck an umbrella right in my eye.

If there's one thing I
don't need, it's an umbrella in my eye.

Never mind that, HP said to remind you...

that the motto of our
drivers is patience and politeness.

- Patience and politeness, that's me.
- Well, remember it.

Yeah.

Watch your step. Plenty of room in back.

Go back to the rear of the bus please.

Will you kindly, kindly,
kindly move back to the rear of the bus...

Plenty of room in back.

Third floor, business offices. Going down.

Mail.

Oh Cookie, why do you always
bring mail right at closing time?

- Who is it for?
- Your boss.

Now she'll start dictating while my
hot date cools off in the auto park.

Then you'll just have to nourish the hope
that Miss McGonigle has a hot date too.

That machine? She only thinks of a date
as something that belongs in a tree.

Well honey, some of your
dates look as if they do.

And Miss Turner, I'm not going to tell
you that we'll be sorry to lose you...

Mail Miss McGonigle.
I rushed with it as soon as I got it.

- Tell Madge she'll be working overtime.
- It's a pleasure.

You were saying you won't be
sorry to lose me?

I don't quite understand Miss McGonigle.

I made that remark
because I'm sure you'll be back.

- Oh no. I'm getting married.
- Exactly, pure statistics turnout.

Of every ten brides, six
and four tenths come askingr...

for their jobs before
they've been married a year.

Now, there's no advantage
to me to discourage a bride.

But, if you stop to consider
that most men act as if the principle...

reason for marriage
is to have someone to cheat on.

But Miss McGonigle, how would you?

Don't stop, you started to ask,
How would I know? You see, I'm not a wife.

And believe me, I do know.

Oh sit down Madge.
I'm sure you don't mind just this one night.

Don't look so surprised.
I've also learned how to defend myself.

A girl can always develop
her own deep freeze.

Well, it must be interesting to have a
business brain but please don't be mad.

A man can be a lot more comfort.

Then we're both satisfied.
And and the best of luck to you. Sincerely.

Goodbye.

Now then.

Yes? Would you come into
the board room please?

Right away.

We'll have to let it go till
morning Madge, I'm sorry.

- That's alright Miss McGonigle.
- Good night.

Good night.

♪ Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you

♪ happy birthday Miss McGonigle
happy birthday to you ♪

Well, Millie, you really were surprised,
weren't you? I told you she'd be surprised.

- Now drink up.
- Thank you.

Now come and see your cake dear.
It looks good enough to eat.

Oh, it's lovely.

Well, we just happened to
have a couple of bottles and a cake...

with your name on it, so I said
to Mr. Kirkland, let's have a party.

I think a few words would
be in order at this moment.

As a matter of fact, I'd a formal speech all
prepared but fortunately, I've forgotten it.

Three cheers.

But I do want Miss McGonigle to know how
much I appreciate her service to our store.

During the absence
of our chief personnel director...

she's been carrying on with
a capability which belies her youth.

Why, it seems only yesterday
that she started here as a...

humble stock clerk,
a gawky little orphan of 14.

But her mind is been only on the right
things. Work, loyalty, efficiency...

Why don't we just say we like her
as a friend? It's her birthday.

Drink up, Millie, my girl.

- I'm, really...
- Don't say a word.

I can't.

Except thank you.
This was so unexpected, it makes me feel...

I don't know how it makes me feel.

Well, sorry, all but I'll have to be going.
It's a long way to Santa Monica.

Yes, charming party, many
happy returns, McGonigle.

Happy birthday Millie.

Good night Miss
McGonigle, again, congratulations.

- Thank you sir.
- Good night.

- Good night, Millie.
- Good night Mr.Willoughby.

There. Who'd know it wasn't a hat?

Even if they saw it, who'd
know it wasn't a hat?

Oh, why don't you take it, Mrs. Thomas?

I'm all alone, you know, I'll
never be able to eat it.

Then ask a few friends in.

You have a champagne flush, my dear.
Very becoming it is too.

Mrs. Thomas, would you like, I
mean, if you're not busy...

I thought we might have dinner or something.

Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry. I have a date.

Oh. Some other time, then.

I feel like I've never felt before.

- I know dear. Good night.
- Good night.

Move back to the rear of the bus please,
there's plenty of room in the rear.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Please, will you pick up your feet
and step to the rear of the bus.

Step in please.

Kindly move back.

There's plenty of room in the
rear of the bus.

Will you, will you kindly, kindly,
kindly move to the rear of the bus.

I'm asking you just once more.

Alright, if that's the way you want it.

Here we go.

Hey. Where you going?

I want to get home, I don't
want to go sight seeing.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I think that you ought to know
that I have achieved a state

of supreme indifference as to whether
you move back in the bus or not.

Now it's all yours. You can drive
it, you can push it, you can...

Patience and politeness.

So long. Au revoir. Good cheer.

Young man.

Young man. Oh Taxi.

Oh here, hold this. I do hope
I've got a card.

Oh, that's my birthday cake.
Would you like a piece of cake?

What?

- Oh, here. This will fix it.
- Fix what?

Oh, you wouldn't understand, would you?
Of course you wouldn't.

But you'll be needing a job now, won't you?
Of course you will.

- I might.
- Well then, it's very simple.

I mean, if you don't find something
that you like better, taxi.

You have me.

Well that certainly clears things up.

Oh, I'm glad. And thank you. Some of
the nicest things are happening today.

Hey.

- Hey, Dizzy, here's your fruit cake.
- Oh, thank you.

I couldn't eat my cake and
leave it too, now, could I?

Tommy. You're a devil.

Almost clipped you, didn't I?

You sure did, speed ball.

The car is sure
perking since I had her hopped up.

- How's my pal perking?
- Swell. Well?

- Oh.
- The bubble gum.

Good heavens Tommy, I forgot. Of all things.

- Oh, good evening Miss McGonigle.
- Good evening Mrs. Hanson.

The nicest thing just happened.
They gave me a party at the store...

Well it's about time, the way you sl*ve...

Would you like a piece of my cake?

Oh no thanks, spoil my dinner.
I'm going to my sister's for the night

- if Tommy's mother will ever get home.
- Where did she go?

This time she said it was something about
a job. She promised to be home at six.

Oh, well I'm sure Tommy will be all right.

It's time he was inside,
anyway. Come on, speed ball.

It's still light yet.

Yes and it'll be light
again in the morning, come on.

- Go to bed with the chickens.
- Don't get your feathers ruffled.

The way you are with that child Miss
McGonigle. You ought to have one of your own.

Oh, I'd love to have a mutt
like this. Who wouldn't?

Will that carpenter never come?

Why haven't you gotten
married? A nice girl like you.

Oh, I don't know. I'm the
business type, I guess.

Well now, that seems a shame.

This is the first time I've
been in your apartment.

We used to live in a house.

When your father was...

Is this your father?

It's just his picture. He was k*lled dead.
That's his medal too.

Why Tommy, this is the Congressional
Medal of Honor. You realize all that means?

It means I haven't got any father.

Would you like me to stay with
you until your mother comes?

Who needs a babysitter?

- Are you sure?
- I can handle it.

I bet you can handle anything.
You're quite a fellow.

- So long, then.
- So long.

Have your mother remind
Mrs. Hanson about this door.

But I don't like blind dates.
Who are these guys anyway?

- You must've heard of Jack Bradley.
- Is he the advertising man?

No, that's Phil Gowan, Brad is
in pictures. An agent.

An agent? Are we in for that
kind of an evening?

You're young and strong, aren't you?
At least I'm young.

Well hello. Come on in, beautiful.

There she blows.

What are you so happy about?
It's not your birthday.

Mommy. Help. Help.

Please. Let me out.

- Tommy. What's the matter?
- Let me out.

It's Millie Tommy.
I'm locked in. I can't get out.

- Try to open the door. Pull hard.
- I can't, I can't.

Oh, of course you can't, it's stuck.

Don't be frightened Tommy.

- So long, girls.
- Bye-bye.

Mrs. Hanson? Millie, Millie.
Hurry up, get me out.

Stop it Tommy. I'll help you.

How can any one thing make that much noise?

It's Mrs. Bassett's little boy.
He's locked in here. It's terrible.

It certainly is.

Oh, this window is
open, if I could get the screen off...

Hey, hadn't you better get Mrs. Hanson?

I tried. She's spending the night away.

If this racket keeps up, she's a lucky woman.

Don't try to be funny, help me.

Isn't there some kind of
a law against housebreaking?

There's a law against abandoning
children too. Let me out.

It's all right Tommy, we'll be right there.

Shouldn't we know each other if
we're sharing a life of crime?

- My name is Gowan.
- Yes, I know. Peerless Advertising.

I'm McGonigle, Bullard's Department Store.

- Delighted to meet you...
- Please hurry.

- Now don't rush me...
- Please.

What are you doing?

- Preparing dinner.
- Well, stop it and open the door.

Now you're all right dear.

- I wasn't frightened one bit.
- Of course you weren't.

How do you sound
young man, if you yell with both lungs?

This is Mr. Gowan Tommy.

Where's Mommy? I didn't have any supper yet.

Oh, I'm sorry. Will you see if
there's some milk in the icebox?

One bottle of milk. With nipple?

I'm quite sure he's old enough
to drink from a glass.

Later on he'll be old enough
to drink from a bottle again.

Well. What happened here?

I tried to open a
window, so I climbed up and boom.

Oh, well, never mind.

- Now what am I going to do with you?
- I don't know.

There's nothing but a tired
old bottle of beer.

I guess I'll have to take you over to
my place. Where are your night clothes?

In the bathroom. I can get them.

Will you write Mrs. Basset a
note and pin it on the door?

Dear Mrs. Basset. I've kidnapped your child.

Please have ransom bills in
small denominations.

- Butch McGonigle.
- Thank you for your help.

- Did you have a nice party?
- Oh that.

I guess it was a nice party.
Sorry if we disturbed you.

Oh, no, you didn't. Not one bit.

- Well, good night.
- Good night.

Now you'll have to be patient with me.
Playing with you in the park on Sundays

is one thing but really playing
mother is something else again.

A lot of surprises happened to me today,
but I never expected anything like this.

Are you old enough
to get yourself ready for bed?

Sure.

Alright, let's see. Here's a towel,

some soap and toothpaste,
and a new toothbrush.

Gee, why spoil a new toothbrush?

All in all, young man, I think
you'd better have a bath.

A bath? In the middle of the night?

Right now. You're pretty dirty.

It won't show with the lights off.

I should've brought you
in here in the first place.

We could have had a party
instead of just listening to one.

I was all alone, with nobody.

You sure were son and I know
just how you felt.

I guess I've been that way as
long as I can remember.

I bet you can remember an awful long time.

It won't seem so long after you're grown up.
What are you going to be then?

I was going to be a pilot,
but now I've got to be a millionaire.

That's quite an occupation.
Why have you got to be a millionaire?

To take care of Mommy.

You're a good boy Tommy.

I wasn't kidding Mrs. Hanson when I said
I wouldn't mind having someone like you.

All finished?

I don't know if I should've let
you eat cake so late at night.

- Well, I can...
- Well, I can handle it.

Ok, scoot to bed then.

Now you won't be afraid
in here if I leave my door open?

- No.
- That's good. Would you...

Would you kiss me good night?

You want a plain kiss or a sliding?

I can imagine what a plain is,
but what's a sliding?

- That was a sliding.
- Oh. Thank you.

- Oh. How about saying your prayers?
- Okey dokey.

- Good morning Mr.Gowan.
- How it go?

- We had a wonderful time.
- Good, good.

Mommy Mommy.

Oh, good morning, Millie.

Good morning Mrs. Hanson.
Do you know that Mrs. Basset isn't home yet?

My goodness.

Tommy was all alone in the middle of the
night so I broke in and took him to my place.

Well.

Mrs. Hanson, I think you'd
better call the police.

Oh, no. She probably expected me to take
care of Tommy. It's not the first time.

- Just the same...
- Now you run along to work and don't fret.

Just the same, I, alright.

- Goodbye, pal.
- Where are you going, Millie?

- I'm late for work.
- Won't you stay and play with me?

I wish I could. But I'll see
you when I come home.

Don't forget, you're my boyfriend now.

Ok.

Third floor, business offices. Going up.

- She asked me to come see her.
- Oh. May I have your name?

Andrews, Doug Andrews.

Mr. Douglas Andrews to see you.

The bus driver.

He says he's a bus driver.

Ok.

Whose bus do you drive?

Look, if you were just carried away by
an impulse yesterday I'll leave quietly.

You are really independent
aren't you Mr.Andrews.

I'm just giving you a chance
to get off the hook.

That's very considerate of you.

But I told you yesterday that
I liked your independence.

- Sit down please.
- Thanks.

Now, to begin at the beginning,
you don't have to do that Mr.Andrews.

Now, did you have any particular job in mind?

We act on the principle that people
are happiest doing the work they like.

I'd like to be a floor walker.

- A what?
- A floor walker.

Really, why?

Well, I have a blue suit,
and I like carnations.

You're quite a kidder, aren't you Mr.Andrews?

No kidding, I'd make a darn
good floor walker.

Well, I'm used to pushing people around.

Is this a permanent ambition
or just a temporary notion?

Oh, until something better comes along...

That's too bad, at
Bullard's we like to feel that...

our employees
are joining our happy family forever.

Lady, do you always talk like that?

With you, I guess I'd better not.

Tell me about yourself.

Anything you want to know, just ask me.

What did you do before you ran a bus?

- Well, the army ran me.
- Oh, yes, of course. And before that?

Advertising copywriter.

Well, now we do have a large
advertising department...

I quit because I didn't like the job.

- Then we're back to walking the...
- Walking the floor.

There's something else I'd better tell you.
After I got out of the army,

before I drove a bus, I wrote a book.

- What?
- I wrote a book.

Oh.

Shall I go now?

That's very interesting.

I'm waiting now to see if somebody will
find it interesting enough to publish.

- What's your book about?
- Well, it's about people.

Aren't books usually about people Mr.Andrews?

Yes Madge?

Put her on.

Hello Mrs. Hanson.

Oh, no.

Oh, I can't believe...

When?

Oh, yes of course I will. Right now.

So I think I owe it to you
to tell you about the book.

You'll have to excuse me, you really will.
Come back in a day or two.

Come back tomorrow if you'd like.

I'll call you later Madge.

What did you do to the boss? Make a pass?

Honey, I don't know whether you know it but,

you're working for quite a screwball.

- Mrs. Hanson.
- Oh, Millie.

- How did it happen?
- It was simply terrible dear.

Poor Mrs. Basset. It happened
sometime last night.

She was cutting across Beverly
Boulevard when a truck came along.

Last night?

They didn't know who she
was at first or where she lived.

- They had to check her fingerprints.
- They? Who? Where's Tommy?

The police dear. They were
here a little while ago.

They took Tommy with them. I went along too.

They took Tommy?

Someone has to take care of him.

- Where?
- A foundling home.

Tommy? In one of...

How could you let them? Which one?

I have the address written down.

Well hurry Mrs. Hanson, he'll be terrified.

May I see Tommy Bassett please?

Bassett? Oh yes...

- Are you a relative?
- No, I'm a close friend.

I live in the same apartment house.

- Your name please?
- Mildred McGonigle.

- May I help you?
- A friend to see the Bassett child.

- Oh yes. This way please.
- Thank you.

As a matter of fact I'm glad you came.
Tommy is been a bit of a problem.

It's a difficult adjustment
for a youngster, you know.

And then the little donkey threw
back his ears and ran and ran and ran.

- And as he ran and ran and...
- We'll just go through here.

He said, hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-haw.

I'm the fastest donkey you ever saw.

Tommy is in here.

Why is he all alone?

He just feels a little strange yet.

In a week or so he'll be
playing with the others.

In a week or so...

Hello Tommy.

Tommy. It's Millie.

It's your pal.

I won't do it.

- Darling, nobody wants you to do...
- I won't do anything.

- I won't, I won't, I wont.
- Darling please be quiet and listen to me.

You're not very old, it's true,
but you've got a bright mind.

Nobody is trying to hurt you.

Tommy, should I bring you
that nice tray of food now?

- Didn't he eat?
- Not his lunch.

I'll eat a frog and die. I'll bet I can.

Yes darling, I'll bet you can do anything.

I'll bet you can be a brave
boy too. And a good boy.

I want to go home.

Oh but you see darling,
this is your home now.

With all these other children. It's like
having lots of brothers and sisters.

- I want my mommy.
- Oh Tommy. Oh Tommy.

Oh darling.

Mr. Galloway, there's a lady
here about an adoption.

He doesn't want to be
disturbed unless it's urgent.

It is urgent. There's a child
who needs a mother.

I don't know of anything
more urgent than that.

She says it is urgent.

Yes sir.

If you go to the
office at the end of the hall.

Mr. Galloway will
see you as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Good afternoon.

I'm Mr. Galloway.

But you're so young.

The girl said it was urgent.

It is. It's about Tommy Bassett.

- Oh yes, the new one.
- Yes. I want to adopt him Mr.Galloway.

I can furnish you with excellent references.
I have a good job and enough money...

Now just take it easy.

I can't take it easy
Mr.Galloway, with him needing me.

And he does. Believe me, I know. I grew
up in one of these institutions myself.

Suppose we just sit down and talk about it.

- You're a businesswoman Mrs...
- You can phone Mr. Kirkland.

He's the president of Bullard's.
Just ask him about Mildred McGonigle.

That's not quite what I was getting at.

I'm a businessman too.
I deal in futures of children.

Quite a responsibility.

There isn't anything you can't know about
me Mr.Galloway, past or present.

Have you any other children, Mrs. McGonigle?

Children? Me? Good heavens, no.

There are generally two people
facing me in an interview like this.

Now, before placing your name on our list, I
would like to talk to you with your husband.

My husband?

Too often people decide to adopt a child
to fill some need in their own lives.

Say, to try to hold together a marriage
which is on the brink of a failure.

Oh but that's not true in my case, it...

couldn't be.

Good.

But surely you must've some cases where...

the person who
wants to adopt the child is a...

widow perhaps or an unmarried woman?

I'm afraid not. Why, there have been some
of these I'd like to have adopted myself.

But I'm a bachelor.

So, if you'll bring in your
husband to see me...

Mr. Galloway, I have no husband.

- No?
- No.

- If you'd told me in the beginning...
- Oh that is I'm not married...

- yet.
- Surprising. Attractive girl like...

Are you planning on being married soon?

- If I did could I have Tommy then?
- I don't know. Perhaps.

How long do I have?

Well Tommy won't be eligible for adoption
at all until after a period of 60 days.

That's to give us a chance to locate any
relatives who might wish to care for him.

I see, 60 days...

So if you'll bring in your
fiance and let me talk to him...

Oh, no.

- Why not?
- I mean, he's...

Oh, I'd be glad to bring him in
just as soon as he gets here.

He's out of town right now, you see.

Oh, he's way up, in Alaska.

Oh?

Well, I hope you'll be able to work it out.

So do I.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Now I've got to get a husband.

Ronald Q. Smith, luggage and leather goods.

James Sweet, married.

Conway Swithers, married.

John Tucker, single.

Age, 67.

Yes Madge. Send him in.

Well, what kind of a screwy
exit have you planned for today?

I'm sorry about that.
But it really was urgent.

Sit down Mr.Andrews.

Where we gotten to?

Well, we were discussing my
qualifications as a floor walker.

If you're really serious, I suppose it
depends on how you impress Mr. Willoughby

- in your blue suit.
- With a carnation.

Yes. Well let's get a few facts on you.
You were in the army. How long?

- Three years.
- Where?

Pacific, everywhere
from Guadalcanal to Alaska.

- Alaska. Did you say Alaska?
- Yeah.

Why, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing. Nothing, it's...

just that I was talking about
someone, in Alaska, just last night.

A coincidence.

You know, somebody ought to tell
you, you are the screwiest dame.

I haven't been able to decide why I like you.

But you do?

Well, let's just say you don't
give me a rash, eh?

Oh, I didn't mean, I only meant...

We'd better go on.

Mr. Andrews, are you...

married?

- Me?
- You're not?

Why, do I look married?

Oh, no. You're the most
unmarried-looking man I've ever seen.

But you can't always tell.

Oh. Furthermore,
I don't intend to get married.

Yeah, you just put that
down there too, right down there.

Yes, stubbornly single.

And now Mr.Andrews, I'm
going to ask you a question

which may seem a little peculiar to you.

Lady, nothing you could say
would surprise me.

Are you fond of children?

Kids? I could take them or leave them alone.

But you're not against them,
you're not anti-children?

No, I'm not...

Look, what has all this got to
do with my being a floor walker?

You'd be surprised...

I mean, that is, we get a lot
of children in the store

and Mr. Willoughby, he's in charge of
floor walkers, he's very particular.

Come in.

Excuse me Miss McGonigle but are
you going to want me any more tonight?

I've got a date but if you need me I can...

- Heavens. No Madge, run along.
- Thanks.

Madge. Couldn't you have
asked me that on the phone?

Oh. Oh, no, I couldn't.

It must be wonderful to be the way you are.

How am I?

Well, to be able to drive a bus
off the main street and walk away.

Just to act on impulse.

Hey, you know something?

There's nothing like a nice, tall,
cool impulsive soda at the end of the day.

- How about having one with me?
- Oh, I don't know, I...

Oh, come on, I'm not an employee yet.

Oh but isn't it a little early...

alright.

Let's go.

Well, look, maybe it is a
little early, I don't know...

How about a little bit of tea
then or some coffee or...

hot choc, that's it,
how about some hot chocolate, eh?

Oh, do you like hot chocolate?

Yeah. Real hot chocolate. It's hard to
get, though, at a soda fountain.

- It's practically impossible.
- Yeah, they give you that thin watery kind.

Yes I know and it should be made with
half cream and half milk and lots of...

Mr. Andrews, I know where we could
get some proper hot chocolate.

Come now, Millie, there's
nothing to be nervous about.

- I'll carry that.
- Oh.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
creep up on you...

Oh, that's all right. I'm used to it.

- Oh, I mean, I...
- All this and cookies too, eh?

Oh, they're just some I bought.

Sometime I'll have to
let you try the kind I...

bake myself.

You mean there are women left who can cook?

I'm really quite domestic, really.

Let's just have the lamp, shall we?
I think it's much cozier, don't you?

Anything you say.

Hey. Now that looks like real hot chocolate.

Mr. Andrews, would you mind if...

would you mind if I got into
something a little more...

comfortable Mr.Andrews?

Why should I?

Oh.

Oh, I never thought grandmother's
Christmas present would come to

a fate worse than death.

Oh, why not? It's my best feature.

Nothing ever happened to her.

You might as well face it. You're ridiculous.

Is that what you call getting
into something comfortable?

I find suits very comfortable.

So do I. We have a lot in common, haven't we?

- Have we?
- Yeah. Suits and...

hot chocolate.

Hey, let's be friends, eh?

Oh, wouldn't you like some music?

Here I come. Don't jump.

Or, I have records,
in case you'd like those better...

I have quite a collection of records.

Put your hands on my shoulders.

- On your shoulders?
- That's right.

Well, I, I don't understand.

Alright, you may take them down now.

Quite obviously that isn't what you want.

Not that it's such a bad idea though...

Oh, I think it's a perfectly
revolting idea Mr.Andrews.

I don't blame you for misunderstanding.
I'm terribly sorry.

I guess I'm not very good
at this sort of thing.

You're just plain silly
at this sort of thing.

Of course, none of this affects
your job as a floor walker.

I'll send your application to
Mr. Willoughby in the morning.

With my recommendation.

Hey, it might be better all around
if you were to tell me all about it.

Hey, look, there's something
under that yellow hair of yours.

What is it anyway?

I'm curious. I'm curious
partly because I'm curious and

partly because I like you.

That's better. Now,

now why don't you come clean and tell
me what is it you're trying to get?

I'm trying to get a child.

- I've heard everything.
- He's so darling and he likes me.

But they won't let me
adopt him unless, unless I'm married.

Oh, you mean you want to adopt a child.

Yes, he used to live across the court and
his mother was k*lled in a traffic accident.

Now he's an orphan.
But I have to have a husband to get him.

And you were trying to trap me as a husband?

Me, a husband?

Will you get out of here?

What? I'm the last man on Earth.

Alright. You're the last man on
Earth and I don't want you.

Hey, wait a minute.
We're friends again, remember?

Look, you want a husband.
Ok, that's normal enough.

Every woman needs a husband.
And I have no objection to marriage.

Just so it doesn't happen to me.

Look, McGonigle, you're helping me get a
job, eh? Ok, turn about.

Suppose I pitch in and help
you try to get a husband.

- How could you?
- Advice, psychology.

Two heads are better than one.

Now look, we'll plan the
campaign very, very carefully.

The objective, the strategy, the att*ck.

Now what men do you know?

Quite a lot, who doesn't?

Yeah, I mean, what men do you know right
now that might be considered eligible?

- None. Except you.
- Alright...

No. Not me, no.

What about the store? Now,
Bullard's must be bristling with bachelors.

- There's a John Tucker in Men's Clothing.
- Oh?

- He'll be 68 years old next February.
- Eh.

Well, how about men in the neighborhood?

Well, there is a man in the next apartment.

No, no, I think we'd better forget about him.

Well, what's the matter with him?

Oh, nothing is the matter
with him, quite the contrary.

- Is he single?
- Yes indeed, Mr. Gowan is decidedly single.

But I'm afraid he's
going to stick by his decision.

Gowan, that tall hunk of muscle that
talks like his own advertisements?

- Yes Phillip Gowan, you know him?
- Yeah, I've run into him a couple of times.

He's a good advertising man,
if there is such a thing.

His professional life is above
reproach but his personal life, well...

He's the kind of a wolf who goes
for the handiest beautiful dame,

you know what I mean? No.

Who else is there?

Oh. There's Mr. Galloway.

He's not a wolf. He's the superintendent
of the founding home where Tommy is now.

- He's not married...
- Good,

then we got one to go on,
and we'll get more lined up as we go along.

Now, the first thing we've got to do
is get you some genuine feminine oomph.

- Do you think it'll do any good?
- You want Tommy, don't you?

Oh, I certainly do.

Well then, you just listen to me,
and your life won't be an empty book.

Would you direct me to the lingerie?

Second floor madame. Take the elevator.

- Thank you.
- It's a pleasure madame.

Excellent Mr.Andrews, excellent.

Thank you Mr.Willoughby. Thank you.

Would you Ok this, Mr. Andrews?

Thank you.

Definitely disturbing to morale Mr.Andrews.

Definitely a blond. Definitely.

Corsets madame?
Second floor, take the elevator.

How did you guess what was on my mind?

You're wanted in the gown
department Mr.Andrews.

On the whole, I'm pleased Mr.Andrews.
I have decided that I can give you my trust.

Mr. Willoughby, I will never betray it.

Aren't you a little young
for this sort of thing?

I can handle it.

Pretty fast on the upbeat son.

Hey.

Jeepers.

Millie, you look prettier
than a Christmas tree.

- Thank you darling.
- Don't you find this charming?

Madame, that's an understatement.
She's ravishing.

Will you pardon me just a moment?

So this is the object of your affections, eh?

It certainly is.
Tommy, shake hands with the floor walker.

- A what?
- Overlook it. I used to be a bus driver.

This is Mr. Andrews, Tommy.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Now you sit right there
pal and I'll be back in a second.

Ok.

You two look swell together.
And the man who's missing from the picture

shouldn't be missing for long.

Hey, you really look terrific.

Hey, by the way, how you doing with Galloway?

He let me have Tommy for the whole afternoon.

In fact, he drove us downtown.

Oh, that's fine. Now, that's real progress.

How it go? What did you talk about?

- Tommy.
- No, I mean the general impression.

- How did you part? What were his last words?
- Why, he said goodbye.

- Swing me.
- Oh. Won't it hurt his arms?

Nah boys are half men and men are
half monkeys. Is that right kid?

- That's right kid.
- That's right kid.

And Mr. Johnson
called to say there would be a

- board meeting at 2:30 tomorrow.
- Oh, thank you.

Well, don't we all look brand new?

- Hello Mr.Galloway.
- You too Tommy.

- That's right kid.
- Tommy.

Oh Mr.Galloway, this is Mr. Douglas Andrews.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

Well, I'm glad to meet you at last.

- Yes and I'm glad to meet you.
- Yes indeed.

Yes sir.

- Want to play with the children?
- I want to play baseball with Doug.

How are things in Alaska?

You were in Alaska...

- Well, once I...
- No, no, he's not from Alaska.

I mean he's not the only one.
There's another one.

- Another one, what?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

I suppose, I really am sorry.

Another what?

Oh Miss McGonigle told me that her future...

Doug, you'd better take me
home now, Tommy is tired.

- Goodbye darling.
- I'm not a bit tired.

Now, you be a good boy,
and I'll come and see you tomorrow.

- Would you like that?
- Doug too?

What is this Doug business all of a sudden?

You haven't answered me yet. Another, what?

Doug, I've got to go.

Do I get a sliding?

Please?

Ok.

- Oh, thank you.
- You're Ok.

- Well Tommy, supper time.
- Millie...

- Very glad to have met you, even if...
- Even if what?

- Goodbye darling.
- Will I see you soon?

- You sure will.
- Yes, I'm coming to see Tommy tomorrow.

- Goodbye Mr.Galloway.
- Bye Miss McGonigle. Goodbye Andrews.

- Goodbye Tommy.
- Goodbye, Millie. Goodbye, Doug.

- Goodbye kid.
- Goodbye darling.

- What was all that double talk?
- What double talk?

- About Alaska.
- Oh, just something I'd said. Nothing.

Something about your future what?

Well, if you must know
everything, I told him my

future husband was coming from Alaska.

What is he, an Eskimo?

Aren't you funny?

That's just about what you'll end up
with, the way you treated Mr. Galloway.

What way? What did I do?

Ah, you brushed him off like
he was a piece of furniture.

It's what you didn't do that's so bad.

Alright, I'm waiting. What didn't I do?

There was no warmth, no guile.

A new outfit and you acted like
it was still on a clothes hanger.

What should I have done,
jumped on his lap and given him a big hug?

And the way you talked.
The way you said, Hello Mr.Galloway.

- How did I say, Hello Mr.Galloway?
- Just like that.

Hello Mr.Galloway.

Perhaps I should've said it in French.

Well at least you could have used a
bit more come hither in your tone.

To be blunt,
you could have used a little more...

A little more bedroom in your tone.

Double or twin beds?

Look, Millie, it isn't, Hello Mr.Galloway.

It's, Hello Mr.Galloway.

Oh, honestly...

It is now, it's Hello,
Mr. Galloway. You try it.

- Go ahead.
- Hello Mr.Galloway.

No, no, Hello Mr.Galloway.

- Hello Mr. Galloway.
- Yeah, that's better. Do it again.

- Hello Mr.Galloway.
- Now you're getting it.

Now, now try with a little bit, well,
a little bit of surprise in your voice, eh?

Now, try and dilate your
pupils when you say it. Say,

Hello Mr.Galloway.

- Hello Mr.Galloway.
- That's it, that's it.

Hello Mr.Galloway.

Hello Mr.Galloway.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

- The man paid me.
- Oh my goodness, you're honest.

Without a nickel,
I'd of been paid off in laughs.

Hello. Carry some of these in?

- Why hello Mr.Gowan.
- Hello.

Why hello.

- Lovely day, isn't it?
- Let me help you with these.

There didn't seem to
be so many when I bought them.

Shopping spree?

- To put it mildly.
- Celebrating something?

Is that the only reason
a woman goes on a spree?

The usual one.

You know a lot about women,
don't you Mr.Gowan?

- Enough to admit I know nothing.
- Really?

At least I can get awfully fooled.

What have you done to yourself, Butch?

Oh me, why, nothing.
I've just put on a new dress.

You've put on a lot more than that.
I like the way it fits.

You mean I had you fooled?

You were on the chilly side.

- It's a cozy place you have here.
- Thank you.

- Here let me...
- No, thank you.

Well, I'm glad I've gotten to know
you a little better, neighbor.

- Are you sure?
- Well, you know how it is with neighbors.

Now we can run back and forth
for a cup of sugar or something.

Whenever you need a cup of sugar, do come by.

- Thanks so much for helping me.
- Oh, not at all.

- So long, Butch.
- So long.

Well, what do you know?

Hello.

- Is Miss McGonigle there?
- This is Miss McGonigle.

It is? Well this is Doug. What's the
matter, are you chewing taffy or something?

- Taffy?
- Your voice sounds funny.

Oh? Well you might as well get used to it.

I planned to sit down and bat out a couple
of pages tonight but I got to thinking.

What about?

- About you.
- Oh?

You know, that
Galloway is just the man for you.

Solid, substantial, can father children.

I think he'd make a fine husband.
He's everything you should want.

- I know but...
- But what?

Well, sometimes a girl wants
what she shouldn't want.

For instance, who do you suppose
helped me with my packages just now?

Oh, wait just a minute, Doug.
There's somebody at the door.

Alright, I'll wait.

Just as I was about to bake a cake.

White or brown sugar? I have both.

- Which...
- Oh, my shoes.

Oh no, don't go away.
You look very cute with your feet on.

Hey, Millie.

How do you like that. Hello.

Butch, are you lonesome this evening?

Oh, well, not any more than usual.

Because I'm giving a little dinner party
tonight and I hoped you'd join in.

Well, I...

Hey, screwball.

Screwball.

Would you excuse me?
I left someone hanging on the telephone.

Hello?

Oh Doug, I'm sorry.
It was Mr. Gowan from next door.

What's the matter with your voice?

Mr. Gowan, from next door. Is that better?

That's Ok. Who? Now what did he want?

Oh, just being neighborly.

We're going to a party together.

- Goodnight, Doug.
- Good night.

Hey, wait a minute.

Is this satisfactory Mr.Gowan?

I never like to sit too close
to the music, do you?

- The drummer pounds in your eardrum.
- This is perfect.

Cocktail?

Should I be ashamed to confess
to you that I don't drink?

- Not at all. Nothing right now Frank.
- Very nice.

I thought you said you were giving a party.

I am, for us. How many people
does it take to make a party?

Well, I don't know. I never thought.

A party is the tooting of
horns and a storm of confetti,

but it isn't singing on the dance floor
that matters it's feeling it inside you.

- By the way, you do dance?
- Oh, love to.

- Mr. Gowan...
- Phil please. We're at a party.

I want to ask you a question which
may seem a little peculiar to you.

Go ahead.

Are you fond of children?

Me?

I think that's the
driest evening I've ever spent.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- One of the nicest.
- Then I'm not sorry.

You know, Butch, you've got something.
What it is, I don't know yet but

I'm afraid you're going to
bring out the best in me.

I don't remember leaving my lights on.
Why, I never do.

I'm awfully dry though.

Goodnight Phil. It was lovely.

- Awfully dry.
- Oh, there's only milk in the ice box.

- Well, is it a cold, wet, glass of milk?
- Phil,

let's not spoil it.

- Well, aren't we out late?
- Doug?

You know, I had the darnedest
time talking my way in here.

What are you doing in my apartment?

That Mrs. Hanson,
a very suspicious character.

- Doug?
- Well, did we have a good time?

Phil, as we were saying,
won't you come in please?

Thank you.

Phil, this is Mr. Douglas Andrews. Mr. Gowan.

- How do you do?
- Hi.

Mr.Andrews is just sort
of an acquaintance of mine.

He works in the store, you see.

That's right, I'm just sort of
an acquaintance.

Look, old man, I'm just a neighbor.

Phil, did you mean what you
said about the milk?

- I certainly did.
- Sure honey, get the man a glass of milk.

- Sit down, old man.
- Have a chair yourself.

- What do you do at the store Andrews?
- I'm a floor walker.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

Do you find it interesting, walking a floor?

You may be doing that yourself some day.

- Fathers sometimes have to.
- I've heard.

Thank you.

- Well now, what did we do?
- We went dancing.

Well then, you must be tired.

Not at all.

- Well, you must be tired.
- I'm awfully tired of something.

Well, if you have to floor-walk all day
long, you must be pretty tired yourself.

Who, me? Never. It's a trick I learned in
the army. Always conserve your strength for

emergencies. Were you in the army?

- Navy.
- I thought so.

Well, I remember on Guadalcanal...

- Were you on Guadalcanal?
- No.

I thought not. Well,

this is a long story,
but it's very interesting.

Ah, this was the fifth day of the att*ck.

And there we were for five
days without a wink of sleep.

Of course, in our fix,
to sleep was to die, so...

And another time, this will fascinate you.

It was near the end of the Okinawa campaign.

Oh, were you in Okinawa?
You told us about Okinawa.

- Yes but not this part, now as I was saying.
- And saying and saying...

The Japs were about to surrender,
but from the battle they were putting up,

you'd, well, you'd never guess it.

No sir, you'd never guess it.
So it was all work and no sleep.

All work and no sleep.

- Tired, Gowan?
- Yes. I am.

I guess I'd better turn in at that.

I guess we'd all better turn in at that.

I'm awfully sorry, old man.

Good night - Good night.

- Sorry, neighbor.
- Well, that's alright.

- Could I borrow another cup of sugar soon?
- Please do. Good night.

Goodnight, Butch.

Doug, I'm furious.

You know, I thought
the guy would never give up.

Whatever gave you the idea that
I can't take care of myself

without your protection?

If he'd stuck it out for five minutes more,

I don't think I'd been able to
think up another lie.

You know, your interference
in my life can get boring.

Honey, the guy is no good for you.

Well, you kindly let me decide
who's good for me.

- That's the way you cut it?
- That's the way I cut it.

You know, you're cute when you're mad.

Oh.

Right down the middle.

Curve one, Millie.

Alright, you asked for it.

I can handle it.

- Hot stuff.
- Oh, you're going already?

- If I expect to make that plane.
- We'll miss you.

That's pretty flattering Lady,
seeing it's only for a week.

- Oh, we will.
- Do you...

Do you suppose I could
break this up for a minute?

- Oh, certainly.
- Ok, friend?

Ok.

You're really wrapped up in that kid.

- Like a package. Blame me?
- Look at me, Millie.

I'm looking darling.

- Millie, you mind answering a question?
- Oh but careful Tommy.

What do you hear from Alaska?

- Alaska.
- Where?

- Alaska, Millie.
- Oh.

- Your young man, is he arriving soon?
- Oh, him.

- Yes, Millie.
- Yes, well, not right away.

Oh but perhaps fairly soon. I hope.

Oh, you know, Ralph, they had the most
awful weather up there last winter.

- Cold.
- And the frost bite.

- Your toes and your nose, it's devastating.
- Mmhmm.

In fact, it's practically
evaporating, isn't it, Millie?

- Eh?
- Millie McGonigle,

there isn't any young man
from Alaska, is there?

Oh, Ralph, I'm terribly ashamed
I lied to you, I really am.

- Millie...
- I wanted Tommy so much and you said...

- Must he be from Alaska, Millie?
- I had to have...

- I've known you how long, two months?
- Eh.

I don't know why a thing like
this should be blurted out but

I suppose if nothing were ever
blurted out, I...

A lot of things would never get said.

- It couldn't happen.
- Why, Doug.

- It couldn't happen but it did.
- What?

Hey, Doug.

Hi you, mush face. Millie I, I...

I can hardly believe it myself,
but you're looking at an author.

- Me.
- Doug, no.

- Now we can have some fun.
- I got myself a publisher.

Play catch with me, will you, eh?

- Well sure, I'll play anything.
- Jeepers.

- What publisher?
- Millie...

Mitchell Press.

The trouble with Millie,
she hasn't got a curve.

- You hear that? Even little boys notice.
- When, Doug, the book?

- Fall publication...
- Millie, I...

I'm going to New York next week.

- Going to talk about a second one.
- That's wonderful.

Wonderful, terrific, goodbye.

- Oh, Ralph.
- What's going on?

Oh, Ralph, I'm terrible sorry.

- Did I break up something?
- You certainly did.

Hey, I wouldn't have...

Oh, that's the last thing...

Great littler freezer-outer, aren't you?

- Well, why didn't you say something?
- Hey, throw it.

- And why didn't he?
- You know something?

I'm absolutely certain
he was about to propose.

- Propose?
- Yeah.

Well knock me down...

I'm awfully glad you're back, Ralph,

but Doug and I are taking
Tommy on a picnic today.

- It wasn't so long ago that...
- Tomorrow is it then, goodbye.

You were bemoaning
the lack of eligible bachelors.

You know something? The most
amazing thing is happened.

- Well, send him in.
- I can see that.

Suddenly, the world is full of bachelors.

It's like that first olive out of the bottle.

- One of the olives?
- No, the pickle.

And definitely dill.

- Hello, Doug.
- Hi.

- Hey, you talk kind of fresh today, eh?
- You look kind of fresh.

Where's your carnation?

Checked it in, I'm on
my way to New York tomorrow.

- You got your reservation?
- Yeap, just like that.

Do you always get everything
you want, like that?

Well I always try, don't you?

Yes?

Maybe I will.

Hello Phil.

Gowan?

Oh, it sounds like fun but
I've got a date with Doug.

Hey, you're wasting your time with that wolf.

Yes, that's the one.

- You're a stinker, McGonigle.
- Well, opinions can differ...

Wait just a minute, there's someone here.

He wants me to go to Catalina on a yacht.

You're a real stinker.
I bet you haven't even told him about Tommy.

As a matter of fact Phil,
my date isn't just with Doug but

with the real love of my life.
You remember Tommy?

Yes Tommy Bassett.
We're going on a picnic together.

- Now watch him run.
- Oh, you're not an orphan too.

Say, maybe I can fix it for
you to come along.

- If you do, I'll invite Galloway.
- Alright, I'll call you.

Goodbye.

- Shall we go?
- I'm on my way honey.

Ah, what a life.
Right in travel, traveling right.

Then I guess we won't be seeing
each other for quite a while.

We could have dinner together tonight?

- Is that an invitation?
- Sure it is.

Then I'd like to.

I just had a thought.
Maybe I'll go back to Alaska.

You know, I remember a great,
big, lonely valley up there.

That'd be a wonderful place to write a book.

- Then go to Alaska. Go to...
- Hey, hey.

You know, I don't blame either Gowan
or Galloway for falling for you.

- Eh, you're quite a dish, McGonigle.
- I'll bet.

Suppose I were to lean over and
give you a great, big, sliding kiss.

Want to try?

I never kiss single women,
they're too eager to get married.

Oh.

Where's Mr. Galloway please?

- He's in the play room Miss McGonigle.
- Thank you.

He's such a manly little fellow.

And in a way, how much he looks like
Susan, don't you think so dear?

- Yes, they'd make a good looking team.
- Millie.

Tommy.

Look, they went and got me all dressed up.

- Is he a good boy?
- Tommy is a very good boy.

Where's Doug? When does the picnic begin?

We'll see darling.

Now, don't make up your mind
all of a sudden Mother.

Oh but he's just adorable.

You know that Tommy?
You're just sweet enough to eat.

- Who, me?
- Watch your manners dear.

This is Miss McGonigle, a friend of Tommy's.

- Mr. and Mrs. Wilson.
- How do you do? Excuse us please.

Mr. Galloway, when can we see the boy again?

- As often as you'd like.
- Tomorrow then?

- Mmhmm.
- Goodbye darling.

- Goodbye Ma'am.
- I'm certain he's just the one.

- Who are those people?
- Some very nice people from Arizona.

What right have they to talk to Tommy?

- 3 years ago, they adopted a little girl...
- Now they want to adopt Tommy.

- As a playmate for a...
- They can't have him.

Millie, it's August.

The 60 days have passed.

But it's so early in August.

- What are they going to do to me now?
- Oh darling.

The man said I could have a horse.

- Oh Tommy.
- I don't want a horse, I want you.

Oh and I want you.

Where's Doug? He'll get me out of this.

Doug, oh sure, he'll get you out of this.

Millie, listen to me.

Ralph, please help me.

You know how I feel
about you, you must've guessed.

Yes, Ralph.

Will you marry me?

Why, I...

The three of us wouldn't
make a bad looking family.

I don't know Ralph, I, I like you so much.

Maybe too much.

Now what's going on?

Tommy, listen...

Whom do you like, Mr. Galloway or Mr. Gowan?

- They're both Ok.
- No, I mean, whom do you like best?

If you could choose your own
father, whom would you take?

Why, Doug, naturally.

- You're a big help.
- Well, you asked me, didn't you?

Aren't you being a little absurd?

No, you're absurd.

You and your silly rules,
trying to take Tommy away from me.

No, I'm not...

Well, you can just tell
those people from Arizona...

that I'll die before I let them have him.

There goes my picnic.

- Drop me at a bus stop.
- I thought we were going to...

- I said, drop me at a bus stop.
- Alright alright.

Move to the rear of the bus, please.

There's plenty of room in the rear, folks.
Kindly step back Miss.

Oh, shut up.

- Sorry I'm late.
- Come in, Doug.

- Hey.
- Hey, what?

You're really going to
out-class me tonight, eh?

Doug, I've been trying like
crazy to get you on the phone.

I've been saying goodbye to some friends.

I can't go to dinner with you tonight.

- Why not?
- Because...

My fiance wouldn't like it.

Fiance?

- Ralph?
- Phil.

Ralph asked me too.

Well, at least I'm glad
you didn't do it to Ralph.

I'll do everything I can to make Phil happy.

Very pretty romance.
Somebody should write a book about it.

- Why don't you?
- Quite a plot.

Girl falls in love with child.
Decides to get husband so she can have child.

Gets husband.

- I love a story with a happy ending.
- Oh, that's not the ending.

That's where it starts.

Oh?

Does she fall in love with
the husband after a while?

- Does she?
- If so, what does she do about it?

Does she confess all?
If so, what does he do about it?

How do you suppose the husband feels
when he finds out why she married him?

Or suppose she falls in love
with someone else.

Falls truly in love with someone else.

What then?

I guess that's her problem.

I'm sure you're just the gal
who can handle it.

But my advice is, you never tell him.

A man likes to think that he
is loved for himself alone.

He wants to believe his woman would
throw away everything to be with him.

Just him.

Doug,

who are we to trade bad words when everything
has turned out so well for both of us?

We ought to celebrate.

Well, I haven't a thing to
drink except some ice water.

Ice water would be appropriate.

Come in Phil, the door is unlatched.

Hello, beautiful. Oh hello, Doug.

Hey, there was a little mix-up about dinner.

Now you better get used to mix-ups though,

because you're marrying the
most mixed-up dame in the world.

I'm satisfied.

Yeah.

Well, I'll be going.

Oh, may a friend kiss a
friend's forehead goodbye?

Friend has a nice forehead. Take care of it.

Don't worry about that.

Well, every happiness.

And may all your children be...

May all your children be.

I can't go through with it, Phil.

I hope you don't mean us.

I'm terribly ashamed,

because I tried every trick to
make you fall in love with me.

Well, I tried every trick too.

But you see, I hadn't had anyone
to love for so long, until Tommy.

Tommy?

And if I got married,
they'd let me adopt him.

That's why I tried to make
you fall in love with me.

That's not a very decent reason.

Wait a minute, Millie.

Don't look so tragic darling.
You haven't done anything so awful.

I tried to make you fall in love with me too.

My purpose when I started wasn't
nearly as decent as yours.

Then I found out, somewhat to my
surprise, that I wanted to marry you.

I still want to marry you, Millie.

I'm sorry Phil. It won't work.

Are you sure?

I'm awfully sure.

Well, what are you going to do?

I don't know.

Is Mr. Galloway in?

- He's back in his office Miss McGonigle.
- Thank you.

Mr. Galloway Miss McGonigle
is on her way in to see you.

- Well hello.
- Hello, Ralph.

Millie, you've been crying.

I've been dripping like a leaky
faucet all night and all day.

Shall I call the plumber?

Ralph, I've made the toughest
decision I've ever had to make.

I hope I have strength enough to keep it.

You've decided to give up Tommy.

How did you know?

You're a good girl Millie,
you're as good as they come.

Oh no, I'm not a good girl.

I'm in love, horribly.

With Doug, that rat.

A man likes to be loved
just for himself, he said.

Well, I love him that way.

And I'm going to follow him wherever he goes,

the heel.

And then, he won't be able to
send me away, will he?

If he does, he's the greatest fool on earth.

After all, what Tommy needs is a home.

And if someone cares for him as much as I...

He'll forget me.

Here, drink this without stopping for breath.

That's only a fresh supply of tears.

Could I say goodbye to Tommy now?

- If I stop crying?
- Tommy is gone.

He was taken away an hour ago.

Oh, Ralph,

how could you be so cruel?

Did you ever see a more glorious day?

I always say that if heaven is
any prettier than California,

you've got to show me.

- Fine way to treat a bird.
- Oh.

- I'm always creeping up on you.
- Doug.

- Oh, Doug.
- Look out for my pie.

Oh, Doug, I love you.

I gave up Tommy.
I was willing to give him up.

Oh, I love you. I love you.

I love you.

This is pretty disgusting McGonigle.

Now go into the bathroom and and wipe your
face. You got lipstick all over your chin.

- What?
- You heard me.

- Yes, Doug.
- Hurry up.

But don't go away,
promise me you won't go away.

Go on.

Doug.

What did you expect?

Well, the kid finally went to sleep.

I had to tell him a bed-time story.

Oh Doug, you're not
just wonderful, you're impossible.

I'm just nuts...

I'm crazy enough to let you
talk me into being prefabricated father.

- What could I do?
- I love you.

But get something straight,
one adoption in the family is enough.

There are things a man likes
to do for himself.

- Oh, yes?
- You heard me.

Well hello.

Hello yourself.