01x10 - Circus

[bunniefuu]

Gentlemen...

Behold!

Corn!

Oh, ok. You know, this is pretty nice.

Yeah, and I am kind of hungry.

Good!

Then let the mating begin!

Come on, Meatwad.

Get your things. It's time to go to camp.

Camp! Oh, boy! Camp!

What kind of camp?

You know what camp.

With the...Computer camp.

Wow, Shake.

That's--that's very generous of you.

You know how I am, Frylock.

Part of my selfless nature.

Meatwad, get in this bag!

What?

What? I got air holes.

I...ha ha. It's a joke.

It's a joke.

Ah, come on!

Don't get in that bag,

you little meat.

Now, you stay in that bag!

So is this where camp is?

Yes. Now give me a hug. But keep the bag on, ok?

Smells like vomit. Shut up!

The counselor

is about to counsel you,

and he will send you right back home

if you talk,

and you'll never learn ram--whoa!

Well, how come you stopped? I can't see--oh, hell.

Uh...who are you?

I'm Randy the astonishing.

What? You see something you like down there?

What? No!

Hey, you got my money, Randy?

That depends.

You got my merchandise?

Yeah, I got the merchandise.

Check it out.

How are you doing?

Thought you said he was a mountain of meat.

Well, look, he's young man. He'll grow.

Look at this. Does this look like

what you're selling to me?

Well, not right yet. I mean, you got to say

the special magic words.

Magic words? What you-- ow! My eye!

Now, where's my money?!

Here.

Whoa! Randy.

Ew! What did your mom do

when you came out? Did she freak?

You're not so normal yourself, milkShake.

You ever think about being weird for a living?

Who? Me? Hell, no!

That's for freaks!

Not you, of course.

No, of course not me.

Now, you get the hell out of here

before I rip out your brain.

Thank you, Randy.

Ok, Shake, see you in a week.

Yeah, I'll see you in a week...

In hell! Ha ha!

Watch it, Randy. You're dragging me, here.

Yo, man.

There don't look like no computer kids there.

Randy looks like his uncle's a worm, baby.

"All office furniture

over % off."

"All office furniture

over % off."

Oh, uh, Randy, I don't know what's going on,

but can I trade bunks, because my roommate is--

are those his organs?

That's inside-out boy.

His mouth is in his belly,

so he's got to slap at his vocal cords

with his bladder

in order to make words.

I--i don't like this camp. Can I go home now?

"All office furniture over % off."

Well, that sounds like a good deal.

Let's go get a recliner.

Grow into a mountain, damn it! Terrify me!

Nah, see, I don't do that.

But I can do this...

And this...

Ta-da!

Ripped off again.

Shake, Shake, look.

Look what I just bought for Meatwad.

Here, here. Press the spacebar.

Moo!

Isn't that cute? It's a cow.

Why does he get a computer?

I'm the one with all the high-powered finances.

Well, he's coming back

from computer camp today, isn't he?

Sure, if you want.

Hey, show me how to unload my capital gains

into a roth IRS.

Well, Shake,

that's not really a computer. It--

oh, no. No, you're doing it right.

Wait. Is that a bank statement?

No, this is the bank statement.

This is the counteroffer on the yacht

that Don henley once slept on.

Oh, really? When did you get money?

When did you get all this attitude?

'Cause I don't need it.

Heh heh! Where's meat mountainy?

You mean Meatwad?

Oh, no. They were calling him

meat mountain last night.

Ok. Well, I got to go.

You're not going anywhere, Shake.

Yeah, you need to come check this out, man.

Igloo, hotdog, igloo-- you know that bit.

But the whole time,

strippers shaking it in front of him.

My goodness. Where was this?

The circus out in front

of girls for you-- you know,

the lingerie modeling place

by the interstate.

Uh, no. I don't know, Carl.

Well... bucks, minutes.

One Friday, you and me, fry, man--

blow the lid off the joint!

Yeah! Heh heh!

I don't think so, Carl.

What? You gay?

Look, before you guys get too involved,

can you tell me, how do I buy stocks?

Is it the chicken or the piggy?

You sold Meatwad

to the circus, didn't you?

Every day I buy and sell

people like you!

But, no, I did not do that.

But based on what I'm hearing here,

someone may have.

How much, Shake?

.

what?

$ . .

What? What's wrong with that?

"$ . ?" are they out of their mind?!

Ok. Pony up, Shake.

Well, don't look at me.

You got all those ones.

Where did you get that?

Look, I don't work my ass off

for hours a week so I can just

throw my money away. That's wasteful.

These bills are strictly for me to kiss

and put in some stripper's underwear.

So come on!

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

meat mountain!

Thank you. Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Where are the strippers?

There were strippers here last time.

Look at that.

Keep a whole family of eskimos warm.

This isn't good.

I can do that. I've done it.

Oh, yeah? Then do it right now.

I'm not gonna upstage my buddy out there...

Delicious.

But I could.

Wow. And I will.

The crowd is really getting off on this.

Well, I'm glad! I'm so happy for him.

Where are the strippers?!

Oh, no. Another igloo.

How could it be?

Well, thank you, ladies.

Yeah, you the supervisor?

Where were the strippers?

Didn't need them.

Meat mountain pulls in the crowd all by himself.

You give me back my . ,

because I ain't paying for something

that happens every day on the hood of my car.

Will you take quarters?

Whoa! Damn, buddy.

What, did you get that caught?

In a press?

Hey, Randy! You know, I can do weird things, too.

I know that's what you're looking for.

Look. Look at this.

Oh, no! I was hideously born this way.

I don't know, milkShake.

People see another food item,

they'll start saying I'm one-note.

No, no. Look, I'm more than that.

I have weird skills.

I'm from...

Space.

All right. Go suit up.

Oh, yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the amazing martian milkShake.

Hey, hey, hey! Fun time!

Goofing off martian style! Wak-waka!

And his amazing third eye...

Yes!

That can also see the future.

He's right!

I see all of you.

And you're all going to die... At some point.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen...

Randy, he ain't from space.

Yeah, I know, little guy,

'cause I'm the prince of Jupiter.

You never told me that.

See, years ago,

my dad sent me down here to conquer your species

by infiltrating your gene pool.

You know what I mean?

Heh heh heh! Know what I mean?

No.

Well, when a man and a woman

love each other physically--

outside of a bar--

which bar?

I predict...

That some of you...Smoke.

Right? Yes, I know you.

I saw you out front!

Look, just forget about the bar.

One of those bars b*rned down. I don't know...

Just forget it!

So did you do it? Are we talking?

This look normal to you, meat man?

Women love it

when you whip these out at them.

Listen to me, Randy.

It doesn't matter

what you look like on the outside--

whether you're white or black

or a sasquatch even--

as long as you follow your dream,

no matter how crazy or against the law it is,

except for a sasquatch.

If you're a sasquatch, the rules are different.

Forget it, Meatwad. I'm a circus freak,

and that's all I'll ever be.

Whatever.

Look at my finger.

Now I'm not gonna do any tricks because this happened.

What? you're the monsters!

Look, I just don't think it's working out.

Hmm. I predict

you will rethink this decision.

Ow! Look, part of the issue

is that I'm not being promoted right

or laughed at enough.

Part of the issue is that you're a dud.

I think your marketing department is the dud.

Where's my poster, huh?!

Right above your head there, buddy.

Wait. Don't go!

What about a beard under my eyes?!

Whoa! You little runts!

Check out my new shape.

It's a little weird,

but I think you're gonna like it.

"Samurai Lincoln"? What are you smoking?

Ahh, that's a fine Wayne gretzky.

Yeah. I wanted to kick off the hockey season just right.

Wait a second. Ow!

What's wrong?

Oh, no. Something snapped in me.

I'm stuck.

The midnight show is sold out.

What am I gonna do?

Hey! Look at me! I'm stupid as hell!

I can't even breathe properly,

let alone read. What's that?

And now, the amazing... Arctic igloo!

What?

Turn into that igloo!

Take your top off! Carl.

Yeah, so, uh, where is that, milkShake?

Well, i--i...

Look! It's the amazing milkShake

with the bearded eyes! Wow!

Step aside.

I should have done this a long time ago.

Bow down before me, earth slaves.

Way to go, son.

Dad.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm weeping acid.

Collect your women for infiltration.

Yes, earth slaves,

look up at your master.

Feel his control.

I did it, didn't I, dad?

We did it together, son.

And I'll tell you

something else, Frylock,

I did not see one computer

in that whole camp.

Yeah. Yeah.

Say, have you noticed the Indian burial ground

that's coming up through our drain again?

No, that's inside-out boy.

He just needs a place to crash

for a couple days.

Ooh! I just ate a whole bathtub

full of cherry cobbler.

It was delicious.

You're joking, right?

No, I'm not.

No!