01x04 - Doug Takes a Hike/Doug Rocks

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[barking]

♪♪

[barking]

♪♪

Whoa!

♪♪

[fanfare]

And I solemnly
promise to respect

all the animals that
live in the forest.

I shall not fear
tree nor beast,

but remember that
I am a guest

in their forest home and act
according to the Bluff Scouts

code and finally,
I promise to help

a fellow Bluff Scout,
be he in need.

Douglas Funnie, I hereby
declare you a tender toe.

Welcome to Bluff
Scout Pack .

[all]
Yay!

[Doug]
Well, I did it.

I finally joined
the Bluff Scouts.

I liked everything about being
a tender toe except everybody

else had all sorts of badges
and awards on their uniforms.

Mine was
pretty empty.

Congratulations,
Doug!

Skeeter had a ton.

Okay, Bluff Scouts, this
afternoon, we're going to

take a hike and one team
will win a nature merit badge.

I decided then I just
had to win that badge.

It would be the first
merit badge I'd ever won.

[barking]

♪♪

[Doug]
That's me.

Hey!

[barking]

♪♪

As always, we'll use
the buddy system.

So everybody, pick your
buddy and let's pitch camp.

Uh, Mr. Dink, mind if
I say a few words?

Why, certainly,
Roger.

Listen up everybody.

Hey, Skeet, you wanna
be my part-- huh?

I just want to remind
everybody that Doug

isn't from Bluffington and this
is his first time in the woods.

He might get lost
or something.

And that's why, as Senior
Pack Leader, I'm personally

volunteering to be
Doug's buddy and help him

get off to a great start
in the Bluff Scouts.

Do you think that would
okay, Scoutmaster Dink?

Boys, I hope you're all
paying attention.

We can all take a lesson
in true Bluff Scout

spirit from
Roger here.

Oh, why, thank
you, Mr. Dink.

Just think how far you
can go in the Bluff Scouts

if you stick
with me, Funnie.

Yeah, Roger,
I can just imagine.

It was gonna be
a long weekend.

And take this shovel.

And grab
that lantern.

Here, I'll take your
backpack, pal.

Meet me over there
in those trees.

♪♪

Whoa!

Roger?

[laughing]

Hey, here he is!

Hey, Funnie, thanks for
lending us a new flag.

Didn't think
you'd mind!

[laughing]

Oh.

Well, here we are.

Home sweet home.
Here?

In all this brush?

What's the matter?

You're not afraid
something might be

living in here,
are you?

No, I just meant--

Speaking of which,
I gotta talk to Dink

about the big hike.

Think you can get all
this brush cleared out

and the tent pitched by
the time I get back?

I'll try.

Don't try-- do it.

Well, what are you
waiting for, Funnie?

Hop to-- chop chop.

♪♪

Whoa!

Taking a break
already, Funnie?

Did you get the wood
for the fire?

Well, you never
said that...

well, you
never said...

Boy, it's lucky you have
me to supervise you.

Without me, you'd really
be in trouble on the hike.

These woods are pretty
dangerous, you know.

Dangerous?

You bet.

There are some very weird
things out there, Funnie.

Leftover from primeval
time or something.

Mutants.

M-m-m-mutants?

Skunky Beaumont,
he was a new kid too.

On his first trip, he was
out picking up firewood

and there was
this tree, right?

Yeah.

And this tree started
punching him.

That's right
Funnie, punching trees.

Say, you're not
nervous, are you?

No.

Good, well, go find us some
firewood and I'll clean up here.

When you get back, I'll tell
you about crawly stink bugs,

octopus vines and
poisonous jelly creatures

the size of pot roasts...

Ah!

Huh?

Look, he thinks
it's a snake!

[boy]
Shh, here
comes Mr. Dink!

Well, scout persons,
time to start our hike.

Now, remember, the team that
brings back the thing that

tells us the most
about the forest,

it can be
something animal,

vegetable
or mineral--

wins the nature
merit badge.

Come on, Funnie,
let's go.

I'm coming,
I'm coming.

I was pretty nervous about
going into the woods,

but I still wanted
that merit badge.

[howling]

Wait, did you
hear something?

Come on, we're going
to find some arrowheads.

They'll blow everybody
else out of the water.

Hmm, I was sure
it was this way.

[rustling]

There, I heard
it again.

There's something
in that bush.

Look out!

It's a snake!

Stand back, Doug!

Aw, never mind.

It's okay.

It's just a little
green snake.

It won't hurt you.

[barking]

Shh, quiet,
Porkchop.

Hey, boy, hey, boy.

Look, Roger,
I think he likes us.

Look, Roger!

"Hi," he's saying hi.

Hi, snake.

Let's see if he knows
some other tricks.

Up, boy, up.

Come on, let's go!

[Doug]
Let's take him
back, Roger.

I think he's even cooler
than an arrowhead.

We'll be sure to get
the badge with him.

Look out!

Hey, that tickles!

I wonder if he
has a name.

How about... Mr. Scaly?

Is that okay?

Cut it out!

You want to say hello
to Roger, Mr. Scaly?

Hi, Roger.

Funnie, get that
thing away from me!

But Roger, you're--
you're not afraid, are you?

[Roger]
Me, afraid of
a stupid snake?

Are you crazy?

Then would you
like to hold him?

Wait!

Boy, he was really
scared, wasn't he?

I thought Bluff Scouts weren't
afraid of tree nor beast.

What would the other
Scouts think about Roger

if they knew
about this?

[laughing]

That would
teach him.

On the other hand, I promised
to help another Bluff Scout

if in need and Roger
was really in need.

What should I do?

So, Skeeter, show us what
you found on your hike.

We found this
pinecone.

It was half price
at the gift shop!

Doug, there he is.

I knew you'd make
it back, pal.

You didn't bring the
you-know-what, did you?Well, uh--

Well, Douglas, did you bring
something to show everybody?

Sure.

His name is Mr. Scaly.

Ee, ooh.

[clamoring]

Everybody was gonna
see how afraid Roger

was of a harmless snake.

It sure was tempting.

[chattering]

Here you go, Roger.

Your turn.

Come on, Roger.

Stop!

Hey, everybody,
watch this.

What are
you gonna do?

Up, boy, up.

Here, boy.

[Mr. Dink]
This is amazing.

Phew.

Well, it looks like Doug and
Roger both get nature badges.

[all]
Yay, way to go!

I owe ya one, Funnie.

So, Roger's secret
was safe with me.

He may be a pain sometimes,
but he's still a Bluff Scout.

Here, Doug,
let me take that.

Oh, thanks, Roger.

Ever since that snake
thing, Roger has been falling

all over himself
to help me.

It's disgusting.

I think I miss
the old Roger.

♪♪

Well, Mr. Scaly, I guess
I gotta go home now.

Thanks for helping me
win my first merit badge.

Now cut that out!

I'll be back.

So long, Mr. Scaly!

Is he gone yet?

Yes, he's gone.

Well, I'm glad
that's over.

Oh, and Funnie?

I just wanted to tell
you I really learned

something from
this trip.

From now on, everything
is going to be

different between
you and me.

I think we're gonna be
real good friends.

In fact, to show you just how
close we are, when we get back

home, I'm going to come over to
your house more often for dinner

and I may need to
borrow your bike.

Oh, and if you're lucky,
I just might let you

loan me some money.

Sounds to me like
everything's back to normal.

♪♪

[Doug]
Dear Journal,
it's me, Doug.

You know, I used to be the
only guy in Bluffington

without
a favorite band.

Lucky for me, my best
pal Skeeter was totally,

absolutely crazy...

Crazy for The Beets!

♪ ...I was
such a nerd ♪

♪ I refuse to touch
that strange beaker ♪♪

Hey, Doug,
it's The Beets'

latest release--
"k*ller Tofu".

Come on, let's jam!

Excuse me, Skeeter,
but who are The Beets?

Who are The Beets?

Who are The Beets?

Who are The Beets?
[barking]

[Doug]
That's me!

Hey![barking]

You really don't
know The Beets?

Well, I--Hey, don't sweat it.

When I get
through with you,

you'll be just a big
a Beetnik as me.

Skeet, what are
you doing?

I'm playing
air guitar!

I wanted to get
a real guitar,

but this was
a lot cheaper.

Here, you try.

Let 'er rip!

♪♪

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪♪

[Doug]
Goodnight,
Bluffington!

Awesome!

He's cute!

[all]
Dougie, Dougie, Dougie,
Dougie, Dougie!

[Doug]
With Skeeter teaching me,
I was becoming a real Beetnik.

It was great.

Ding-ding-ding-ding,
and the bonus question.

Their original
name was...

[Doug]
The Pickled Beets?

Man, you really
know your stuff.

Oh, hello, boys.

Care to try out my
new highly priced

digital synchronized
audio compactor?

As if we had
a choice.

Actually, we really don't
have the time, Mr. Dink.

No time, huh?

Perfect.

The digital synchronized audio
compactor smashes an entire CD

worth of songs into one
fantastically loud sound.

Saves time.

Very effective.

What is it?

The complete works of
Ludwig Von Beetgarden.

Isn't it moving?

Yes, dear, in fact,
I'm leaving.

Well, I'll guess
we'll be going.

So long, Douglas.

Adios, Mosquito.

[Roger]
Well, well, well.

If it isn't
The Beet Brothers.

Hi, Roger, what's up?

Oh, nothing really.

Just some good news
and some bad news.

First, the good.

Seems The Beets are playing
a surprise concert

right here
in Bluffington.

The Beets-- when?

Actually,
it's tonight.

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

♪ k*ller tofu ♪

Ooh, I hate to pull the
plug from your amps, fellas,

but aren't you
forgetting the bad news?

What bad news?

Tickets!

You need tickets and
this ticket is S-O-S,

sold out, suckers.

No more tickets?

That's right,
Funnie.

And guess who bought
the very last two.

Ooh...

Don't you just love
that tuba solo?

[man on radio]
And now this KBLUFF
Beet alert.

The Beets are playing a sold
out concert tonight right here

at the
Bluffington Bowl.

We've got two of the
hottest tickets in town

and KBLUFF wants
to send you there.

If you can answer
three, count 'em,

three tough
Beets trivia

questions, you'll win two
front row Beet seats.

The contest lines will be
open right after this one

from their latest album
"Where is My Sock?"

We can win those
tickets, Doug.

Between us, we
know everything!

Give it up.

You guys don't have half
a clue between you.

Hello?

I got him!

[man on radio]
This is KBLUFF,
you're on the air.

Are you ready to win front
row seats to The Beets?

Yeah!

Okey dokey.

Here's question
numero uno.

What was The Beets'
first number-one single?

"I Sneezed
on my Face."

Correctamundo!

Here's your second
Beets question.

What is the name
of lead singer

Wendy Nesbaum's
pet fruit bat?

It's Gigi Ameche.

Absitively
posolutely correct!

That's two down,
one more to go and then

you'll be going to
The Beets' concert.

Ready?

We're ready.

On what Beets album is there
a really tiny, little, almost

microscopic picture
of Chap Lipmann

after his gallbladder
operation?

Uh oh.

This one's
really tough.

Come on,
I need an answer.

Too bad, fellas.

There's nothing like
a live Beets performance.

I don't know
this one.

Do you, Doug?

Beats me."Beets Me!"

Yes, "Beets Me" is
the name of the album!

Congratulations!

You're going to
meet The Beets!

We won?

We won!
You won?

[all]
We won!

Yeah!

Gee, Funnie.

I guess even
a loser like you

gets lucky once
in a while.

Skeeter?

Why don't you and
Doug wash up now?

Dinner's ready.

Oh and why don't you invite
your friend, Roger, too?

Why, thank you,
Mrs. Valentine.

May I help you
set the table?

Oh, Roger, you're
so thoughtful.

Ooh, that
drumming's so loud

I can't hear
myself think.

Skeeter, pass me
the mashed...

the mashed...
you know.Uh, potatoes?

Potatoes, right.

So Skeeter, tell me
about the thing

you're excited about
going to, the, uh...

Beet concert.

Yeah, right.

Son, could you pass
me the, uh, the stuff

in the boat that's
lumpy and juicy and...

Gravy-- sure, Dad.

Whoa, the drum solo!

Uh, Skeeter, maybe you better
take it a little easy.

Your dad can't think.

♪ I can eat my
sugar cereal ♪

♪ But it makes my
teeth bacterial ♪♪

Joe, try that
counting to thing.

One, two...

!

All right, buddy
boy, you're, you're,

that thing where
you can't leave

your room 'cause
I said so!

Grounded?Move it.

But, but the concert!

Now!Beets, Beets...

Oh, man!

I can't believe
I blew it.

Aw, forget
about it, Skeet.

Who wanted to go to that
stupid concert anyway?

Hey, Funnie, don't tell me
you're gonna miss the concert

to stay home with
your loser friend.

Come on, it's time
to meet The Beets.

Go to the concert
without Skeeter?

He's right, Doug.

Go ahead.

Then you can at least
tell me all about it.

Gee, I don't
know, Skeeter.

I mean, this would be my first
and probably best concert,

but I'm not sure I want
to go without you.

Don't worry
about me, man.

I'll be fine.

I'll just watch
the, the...TV?

[Skeeter]
Well, here I am,
all alone.

By myself.

With no one.

Forget it, Roger.

I'm staying here
with Skeeter.

Jeez, Funnie, when
it comes to suckers,

you take the cake.

Come on Stinky,
it's show time.

I can't believe
you're not going.

Hey, if it wasn't
for you, I wouldn't

even know who
The Beets were.

I'm not going to
desert you now.

Well, now what
do we do?

Beats me.

[all]
We blew it!

[Skeeter]
Look, it's o'clock.

I bet The Beets are just
starting to heat up.

Hey, I know.

Let's pretend
we're there.

I'll be Chap Lipmann.

Come on, what do
you say, Skeeter?

Monroe Yoda's
the name.

Let's rock.

♪ I always thought
I was such a nerd ♪

One, two...

!

That's it,
take it outside!

And I don't
mean later!

But Dad,
I'm grounded.

Well, you're
ungrounded!

Move it, mister.

[Skeeter]
Oh, great.

Even the Honker
Burger's empty.

I guess everyone's
at the concert.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Chap Lipmann and I'd like
to dedicate this next song

to my two best friends,
Monroe Yoda and Porkchop!

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

Lay it on me,
Chap Lipmann!

I'm jamming like
jelly, Monroe!

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

Hey, they're good.

What do you
think, Monroe?

Very nice.

[all]
It's the, the, the,
the, the, The Beets!

Oh, you've
heard of us.

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

Let's jam.

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

Okay, fellas, I got your shakes,
so let's shake it out of here.

Nice meeting
you chaps.

Keep up
the good work.

See ya!

Oh, and guys, catch!

♪ k*ller tofu ♪

[all]
The Beets!

Jackets!

No one's gonna
believe us.

Who cares, man?

Hey, losers.

Boy, did you two miss
the most awesome concert

ever in the history
of the world.

I actually saw
The Beets live,

in person!

Yeah, Rog.

How close did you
get to them?

Well, uh, I was sitting in
the last row, so uh, uh,

through my binoculars,
I could almost see them.

But let's just say I was
sitting a lot closer

to them than
you two.

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

♪ Ooh ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪♪

Yeah!

[Doug]
It's hard to believe, but things
turned out okay after all.

It's just like what Chap
Lipmann sang on The Beets'

"Live from
New Hamster" album.

♪ If you're feeling
kind of cruddy ♪

♪ Just stick right
by your buddy ♪

♪ And don't you eat
yeah too much fried food ♪

♪ Ah ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

♪ Ee ay

♪ Ooh ee ooh
k*ller tofu ♪

♪ I eat my sugar cereal but
it makes my teeth bacterial ♪♪

♪♪