05x10 - Exit Interview

[bunniefuu]

[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]

Hey, dude, I don't remember
the password. Let me in.

I think someone's following me.

Who?

- Get in here. It's the doc crew.
- [SIGHS]

You, too. Come on.

When I ran away from Nandor,

I didn't really know where to go.

[NANDOR] Guillermo!

[GUILLERMO] So I just
flew for hours and hours.

Which was a little cool because

that was the longest
I've ever stayed a bat.

But also not cool

because I knew Nandor was trying

to track me down to k*ll me.

Eventually, I just
went to Derek because...

I had no one else to turn to.

I've just been laying low,
hiding for who knows how long.

I wish they had Bravo here.

["YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING]

♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪

♪ They have no use for your song ♪

♪ You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead ♪

♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪

♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪

♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪

♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪

♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪

♪ ♪

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- I think there was a van

tailing me, they may have
been tailing you, too.

- Derek, that was them.
- Whoa.

- You guys are good. Respect.
- Derek, just promise me

you haven't told anyone
else that I'm here.

Guillermo, who would I tell?
Literally. My neighbor Chad?

Because... yes,
actually, I did tell Chad.

This is serious, okay?

My master is actively trying to k*ll me.
Did you bring my meat?

Yes, burgers, extra
rare, just like you asked.

I tried hypnosis on the cashier
so I could get them for free.

Turns out, I'm bad at it.

So, um, I don't know if you use Venmo

or maybe you're a Zelle guy...

[RETCHES] These are not raw.

I can taste that they've
kissed the grill, Derek.

- [STAMMERING]
- [KNOCKING]

- Sup, bitch?
- What the hell are you doing here?

Did anyone see you? Get inside.

No, and it wouldn't matter if they did

because, hello, I'm in disguise.

Stop dancing, get inside.

How did you find me?

Your friend Derek told
me where you were hiding.

[OLD-TIMEY DETECTIVE VOICE]
I paid him a little visit

earlier today, see?

So, that was you.

- [LAUGHS]
- Who did you think it was?

She told me her name
was Detective Policeman.

- [NADJA] That's funny.
- I'm gonna need you to do me a favor, buddy.

Can you go to the market
and get me some raw, raw meat

and make sure you don't
tell anyone where I'm at.

- Can you do that?
- Can do, can do.

- Thank you, buddy.
- Okay, great.

- Okay. Thanks so much.
- See you guys in a minute.

Idiot.

Guillermo. Sit.

You simply cannot talk to
the vampire who turned you

with such disrespect.

That is a sacred relationship.

You have to protect him.

Like we protect the Baron and the Sire.

If anything was to
happen to that stupid man,

the effects for you, my
friend, would be catastrophic.

- Yes.
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have
spoken to Derek like that.

I'm just a little bit on edge
with the whole, you know...

Nandor trying to k*ll you thing.

- Awkward. [LAUGHS]
- Which, by the way, um...

Any progress on that end?

- Uh, yeah, um, a little.
- You talked to him?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- What'd he say?

- [SCREAMING]
- Nandor, come on.

I'm gonna m*rder him!

Maybe if I write him a letter...

Yeah, like if you wrote
him a su1c1de note,

and actually followed through on it,

then that would probably cool him down.

- [FAINT MOANING]
- [SPRINGS CREAKING]

Wow. They're really
going at it, aren't they?

[EXHALES]

[SIGHS] Why did I do this?

Look, relationships evolve.

Like me and those Antipaxon
people who work at the diner.

At first, I was just using
them to get rid of my hex.

But then it turned out...

I really like hanging
out with those guys.

- [LOUD MOANING]
- I know you didn't mean...

[CLEARS THROAT] I know you didn't mean

for things to turn out this way,

- [LOUD MOANING]
- but I think it's time

you need to accept... You know what?

Hang on, I cannot take this anymore!

[MAN] Yeah!

- [SPRINGS CREAKING WILDLY]
- [DOOR CRASHES OPEN]

- It's hard, you know.
- [WOMAN MOANING LOUDLY]

- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
- To know that you've done something,

that you messed up but you can't...

- [MOANING RESUMES]
- ... fix it and...

- [NADJA MOANING]
- And she's joined them.

- [MOANING]
- [THUDDING]

[NANDOR] Night after night, I hunt.

I cannot rest until Guillermo
has taken his last breath

and I feel his bones
crunch under my boots.

So I've been watching the one place

I know he will return to eventually...

Panera Bread.

I've got you now.

He can run,

but he cannot run far.

Because he has very short legs.

- [GASPS]
- Guillermo, now you will die.

- I-I didn't do anything.
- [ROARING]

Those that betray me will pay
the ultimate price, Guillermo.

And this disguise

that has slightly
altered your appearance

does not fool me.

I'm not Guillermo! I'm not Guillermo!

I'm Patton Oswalt. I'm an actor.

- Patton Oswalt?
- Yeah.

- An actor?
- Yes!

What would I know you from?

- I was in Ratatouille.
- Is that a movie?

It's... It was animated.

I was the voice of a rat.

- I prefer live action.
- Uh...

Do you know John Slattery?

I don't know him
personally, I know of him.

- He seems really cool.
- He is.

Yes, I-I'm gonna pass out...

[GROANS]

[COUGHING, GASPING]

- Oh...
- My apologies, Patton Oswalt.

You are respectful, unlike Guillermo.

I have been lying in wait for him

on the top of that building there.

It's only a matter of time

before he returns to Panera Bread,

like a gazelle to his watering hole.

And when he does, I will strike.

Are you sure it's that Panera Bread?

- What do you mean?
- There's a lot of Panera Breads.

They're... They're all over the city.

sh*t.

- [KNOCKING]
- Who is it?

[COLIN] Gigi?

- Hello.
- What are you doing here?

- How did you find me?
- Oh, I just...

took a map of Staten Island
and laid it over a grid

and looked for any motel
that shared a square

with an Arby's, a party
store or a sweater shop.

Well, I'm not near any of those things.

Yeah, I know, so I just asked Nadja.

Great. What do you want?

First off, I just want
to wish you good luck.

You're a nice enough guy
caught in a bad sitch.

I-I don't think any of us were
hoping for this outcome for you.

- [BRIEFCASE UNLOCKS]
- Thank you.

Secondly, I am here to
conduct your exit interview,

from your job as a familiar.

And also your life, so...

Have a seat. I don't want to
take up too much of your time,

I know it's valuable. [CHUCKLES]

Because there's so little of it left.

- Okay.
- [CLICKS]

Familiar exit interview, : p.m.,

Colin Robinson conducting interview.

Um, Mr. de la "Cruzz,"

what's prompting you to leave your job?

Nandor trying to k*ll me.

And... what was your
salary as a familiar?

Oh, I don't get paid.

[CHUCKLES] No, but
honestly, for this to work,

I kind of need a ballpark figure.

$ , $ a week?

- I don't get paid.
- Uh-huh.

And do you think we can get away with

not paying the next person?

Okay. This interview's over.

Interview concluded by subject

who was cooperative and
at times almost articulate.

- [RECORDER CLICKS]
- Okay, thank you.

This is just from me.

It was nice having you in the house.

Thanks, Colin.

"Jay Sturkel, Quarter
Four Sales Leader, ."

I got it at estate sale,
but y-you get the drift.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

I think what bugs me the most

is that I have given
Guillermo my friendship.

This is a gift I do
not give to just anyone.

Uh, you know, friendship
has to be... earned.

How is your, um...

- Turkey Bacon Bravo.
- Yes.

It is, it's good.

And I usually get the
bread bowls here...

I think what it is

is that I thought
Guillermo had earned it.

You are a good listener, Patton Oswalt.

You know, it's funny
because something like this

happened with me a couple
years ago with my manager, we...

- Shh. Just listen.
- Oh... [GRUNTS]

We are not talking about you right now,

are we, Patton Oswalt?

- No, we're not.
- Mm.

- So, go on.
- Thank you.

[KNOCKING]

Who is it?

[LASZLO] Housekeeping.

- I should ask how you found out where...
- Shh, shh.

What?

I'm guessing you're content with your...

toilet paper situation?

Yes, thank you.

All right.

Then I will...

leave you to watch the
television for the evening.

And I will say... goodbye.

- [QUIETLY] Sit down.
- What's going on?

I must apologize, Gizmo, I
feel like I've let you down.

All those science experiments,

they were nothing but a blind alley.

Laszlo, you tried your best.

No, there's been something I...

You-you should probably
put something on

that's a bit louder than this.

Otherwise, it won't
drown our voices out.

- [AIRPLANES WHIRRING]
- That's better.

I've known you since you
were a young familiar.

And I may have been
hard on you in the past,

- and, uh...
- [g*nf*re ON TV]

Could you put something that...

is as loud but less percussive?

- [ENGINES ROARING]
- Sport, yes, that's better.

And I say, does that thing have any...

programs of the adult variety?

- Uh, I suppose, yeah.
- [GIGGLING]

- [LASZLO GASPS]
- There you go.

[CLEARS THROAT] You were saying?

- Sorry?
- You were saying?

Yes. I was saying...

I've known you since you were...

- a young fa...
- [MOANING ON TV]

What do you think they're gonna do?

- Yeah, Laszlo...
- Yes, yes,

s-sorry, since you
were a young familiar.

And, uh, I'm about to
tell you something now

that I've never told anyone else before.

[MOANING ON TV]

- L-Laszlo?
- Good grief.

You were going to tell me something

- you never told anyone before... ?
- Shh. [LAUGHS]

You might have to give me a minute.

[GUILLERMO] So, yeah,
even Laszlo came by.

If I would've known how...

my last couple of days would play out,

how the last couple of months...

I would've never asked Derek to turn me.

It's not that I don't want to die,

and trust me, I really,
really don't want to die,

but I'm just more afraid
of losing the vampires.

My friends.

I always figured if I
got turned into a vampire

that it would... bring
me closer to them.

But it's just left me
feeling more alone than ever.

Nandor, can I ask you a question?

Yes, Patton Oswalt.

Your friendship with Guillermo
is very special, right?

I thought it was.

And I bet...

k*lling a friend...

would really hurt.

I imagine it would be
one of the worst feelings

a person could have.

So, what if you...

repair the friendship?

- You repair it...
- So you're saying

that I should not k*ll my former friend?

- Uh, yes, you-you...
- This is your suggestion?

Well, you know, you rebuild...

After hearing my tale
of deceit and betrayal?

All that betray me must be destroyed.

- Wait, wait...
- Goodbye, Patton Oswalt.

[SCREAMING]

[BODY THUDDING, CRASHING]

- [LOUD THUD]
- [SIGHS]

He does make a good point, though.

- [ON VIDEO] ... arm, and a block of...
- [KNOCKING LOUDLY]

Of course.

Hi. I just came by to
pay you my condolences.

"Sorry for your loss of your life."

Is there anyone who
doesn't know that I'm here?

Well, I'm usually the last
one to know, so probably not.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

And then I also brought some friends

who wanted to say goodbye.

Hiya, Daddy.

- Hey.
- Guide lady said you're going off

- to a big, beautiful...
- Hey, big guy.

... farm in the sky.

- Can we come?
- [GUILLERMO] Oh...

- No, buddy.
- Aw.

- There's no room at the farm.
- [SNIFFLING]

"In the death of a good man,

eternity is seen looking through time."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

- [SOBBING]
- Okay.

- So... Oh.
- [PHONE BUZZING]

Sorry. Hola, Ma.

[NANDOR] Hello, Guillermo.

- I've been looking for you.
- Where are you?

Oh, I'm right here having a nice
conversation with your mother.

In her apartment. Where she lives.

My mother has nothing to do with this.

If you touch her, I swear...

[SILVIA SPEAKING SPANISH]

Well, you know where I am.
Why don't you come over here

and we can discuss what happens next.

- [PHONE BEEPS]
- I have to go.

- Bye, Daddy.
- Have you checked out already?

- Or is it okay if we hang here?
- [DOG GUILLERMO] He's not coming back.

- Ah, come on, you stupid...
- [DINGS]

- Get away from her.
- Guillermo.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

I'll be back, okay? ¿Cómo está, mijo?

- Hey, Mami.
- Mwah.

Don't be long, Sylvia.

Still want to see the photographs
of Guillermo in this gotico phase.

You can k*ll me if you want,
but you leave her out of this, okay?

Oh, I know I could k*ll you.

And you'd deserve it.

[GUILLERMO PANTING]

But I have decided not to.

Yeah, well, I don't believe you.

No, of course you don't.

But something happened recently and...

it's made me change my mind.

- Oh, yeah? What?
- My friend Patton Oswalt.

He passed away quite
suddenly. And, um...

it didn't feel good losing a friend.

- How do I know you're telling the truth?
- Because I give you my word as a vampire.

- [SCOFFS] Not good enough.
- Then I give you my word...

as a warrior.

- [HISSES]
- [GRUNTS]

[SPEAKING PERSIAN]

Translation:

"If I'm lying...

then k*ll me now."

Then it is settled.

You'll come home with me, alive.

Mami, no!

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Wow, that worked.

- Mm?
- Hmm?

[OWL HOOTS]

We return with news.

I no longer plan to k*ll Guillermo.

- Yay.
- [NADJA] Yay.

He will live here in
this house, with us,

- as an equal.
- [LASZLO LAUGHS]

As a vampire.

- Boo.
- Where once we were four, we are now five.

I think your math is off.

If I had known Gizmo was
going to stay with us,

I would've said just k*ll
him and be done with it.

[COLIN] Where is he going to sit?

I-I'm not giving up my seat.
So where is he going to sit?

Hold on a second. Gizmo
cannot fully become a vampire

due to his Van Helsing blood.

[NANDOR] Laszlo, Laszlo,

with all your experiments
and your notetaking,

and your weird-ass, hybrid freaks,

you never thought of
the simplest solution.

- Which is?
- You never got Guillermo to drink human blood.

- Wait. Y-You never thought of that?
- Shut up.

- I don't think I can do this.
- You must.

Or else you'll be eternally frozen

in this painful,
unending limbo. Now drink.

- Come on, Guillermo.
- Drink, bitch.

- [COLIN] Yeah, drink it, bitch.
- [LASZLO] Yes. Drink it.

[NADJA] Swallow it all.

- Drink. Drink.
- [NADJA] Suck on it, baby. Come on, drink!

- Swallow it.
- Drink.

- Drink.
- Oi, drink.

- Drink. Drink.
- [NADJA] Drink it. Take it like a man.

[GASPS]

[LASZLO] Fangs.

- [LAUGHS]
- Wow.

- Ah.
- I've never felt more alive.

I really should've thought of that.

I'm a vampire. [LAUGHS]

I'm a vampire!

- I'm a vampire!
- [LASZLO] Yahoo.

Yep.

- Nicely done.
- [LAUGHS]

[WHOOSHING]

One sip of blood and he's
like Cornholio over here.

[LASZLO LAUGHS]

Yes.

[LASZLO] He likes that.

- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- [NADJA] Ooh.

Behold what I've become.

Yes, yes, we've all been there.

Why are we all sitting on our asses?

Let's do something! What do we do next?

- Get a broom.
- Now, we hunt!

- [CHEERING]
- [NADJA] I'm sorry, Mommy needs to eat.

- [NANDOR] Hunt, hunt, hunt!
- [SIGHS]

Hunt, hunt!

FOMO.

[COLIN SPEAKING QUIETLY]

Which reminds me, what's the
fastest way to become a millionaire?

You start as a billionaire
and buy a winery.

[CHUCKLES] Just a little
wine humor for you.

Oh. [BELCHES]

[COLIN] Sommeliers are a dying breed...

Oh. I've eaten too much. I feel sick.

Go on, Guillermo.

I bonked this one on
the head just for you.

They're much easier to drain and k*ll

when they're not wriggling around.

Oh, no, I-I'm actually not that hungry.

Okay, well, FYI, if you leave
them hanging around too long

when they're unconscious,
their blood, it loses its zing.

[GROWLING, SLURPING]

[GUILLERMO] I've never
k*lled anyone before.

I mean, I guess dozens of vampires.

And I did bring humans

to the vampires so they could k*ll them.

And I've dismembered,

like, a ton of dead bodies.

But back at the restaurant,
that was a real living person.

And when I leaned in to take...

I could...

smell their shampoo

and all I kept thinking was

this guy was at CVS

just sniffing away all these shampoos

and says, "Eh, I think I'll get this one

because it reminds me of where
I used to go camping as a kid."

[WHIMPERS]

I can't do this, I'm sorry. Could we...

- I can't...
- [AUDIO CUTS OUT]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]

Just as I feared.

Guillermo is not cut
out to be a vampire.

I will fix.

[WHOOSHES]

You summoned me?

Yes, I wish for Guillermo...

Eh, eh, you ran out of
wishes a long time ago.

Have you just been carrying me around?

- Maybe.
- Yeah.

[GROANS] Okay, well...

Nice to see you again. You can, uh...

Can't I stretch my legs a little?

I wish I could help you, but, uh...

- That's very funny.
- Get in the f*cking lamp.

I didn't even know there
was a special ceremony for...

Wait, what was the
ceremony called again?

The Ceremony of Vampiric
Transmogrification.

- Oh.
- Don't be nervous, we have all been through it.

Well, is it scary?

Nothing you cannot handle.

The ancient ceremony will help
hasten you along your path.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

It is time.

Are you ready?

I am.

♪ ♪

Hey.

Derek is here, too?

Yes. f*cking guy.

But ancient ritual dictates
that he must be present.

- Come on.
- [GUILLERMO] Hey, everyone.

Hello.

- Derek.
- Hey.

[MUSIC SHUTS OFF]

- [NANDOR CLEARS THROAT]
- [STOMPS, BELL TOLLS]

Vampires all, gather we
here in the dark of night?

[VAMPIRES] We do.

- We have made of ourselves a circle?
- The circle...

- The circle unbroken.
- Unbroken.

[NANDOR] We gather here
in a circle unbroken

at the crossroads
between life and death.

Guillermo de la Cruz, are you prepared?

I am.

Guillermo de la Cruz,
are you of sound mind

and strong of body?

I am.

A choice will be made.

This choice can only be made by you.

We vampires here are only witnesses.

Mistress of Ceremony,
prepare the flames.

[CLEARS THROAT] That's me.

Nicely done.

Guillermo de la Cruz, I will
now ask you one question.

The answer must come from your heart.

For this is the last time
you get to make this final choice.

- Do I make myself clear?
- Mm-hmm.

The question is: Would
you rather be a human...

or vampire?

A human.

As I predicted.

It's not that I don't
want to be a vampire,

- I really, really do.
- Sure.

- It's all the k*lling.
- You can spare us the details, it's fine.

You want to be a human,
there's no shame in that.

- We're gonna make it happen.
- Wait, what?

Mistress of Ceremony,
distribute the hoods.

That's me again.

- You're doing a great job.
- Thank you, Derek.

- Can I get a smaller...
- They're unisex.

- It's a one size fits all situation? Okay.
- Yep. Mm-hmm.

Do I get a hood, or...

- [NANDOR] Hurry it up.
- [BARON] I have one for you, too.

[SIRE] Thank you.

We blind ourselves
that none may witness.

Hoods on, everyone.

♪ We blind ourselves ♪

[TOGETHER] ♪ That none may see. ♪

[NANDOR] Very nice.
Proceed to position two.

[BELL TOLLING]

[DEREK] I'm sorry,
w-what's position two?

Just as you are, Derek, that's fine.

- Wait, what?
- It is the only way, Guillermo.

- W-Won't I die, too?
- No.

You'll go back to how you
were when you were turned.

You'll just get a month
older really quickly.

There's got to be another way.

There's no other way.

It is the only way.

[EXHALES]

- I can't do this.
- [COUGHS] Knew it.

[DEREK] I'm sorry, can't
do what? What am I missing?

[NANDOR] Just keep that hood
on, Derek. You're doing great.

- [DEREK] Thank you.
- You want me to do it?

- I don't know.
- I do.

Give me that.

[DEREK GRUNTS]

[NANDOR] Guillermo, you okay?

- [COLIN] Whoa!
- [LASZLO] Um...

- [NANDOR] Oh, sh*t.
- [GUILLERMO] Everything's kind of blurry.

I think I need my old glasses.

- Here.
- Thank you.

Well, that was fun.

Can we turn the regular
lights on now, please?

Oh, sure. Can somebody
help me pick up all these

hoods and robes?

Eh, just leave them. Garfield
will pick 'em up later.

I must say, the, uh, the
banners are a lovely touch.

You know, I like them, too.

What do they mean?

I don't know, to be honest, Baron.

I just wanted something
that looked cool and creepy.

Very nice, yes.

[SPEAKING VAMPIRIC LANGUAGE]

We have a sitter waiting at
home, so we're gonna head out.

- Good evening.
- Kalinychta.

- [GUIDE] Bye.
- [NANDOR] Anyone up for a game of parcheesi?

[NADJA] Maybe a movie.

- I'm zonked.
- [COLIN] The Brothers McMullin?

That wasn't even a
real ceremony, was it?

No. I found the robes in
a box in the attic and, uh...

the candles I think we
got from a Home Depot?

I'm sorry, Guillermo.

It was the only way
for you to figure out

what you actually wanted.

It was a horrible and hard decision.

I think you made the right choice.

I know.

Now, if you wouldn't mind
clearing up Derek's corpse

before sunrise, that would be great.

Its alright I"ll give you a hand.

Thanks, Laszlo.

♪ ♪

- You take the bag, I'll take Derek.
- Okay.

Come on, old chap. You
better get the door.

[GUILLERMO] Mr. Necromancer?

[KNOCKING]

And you have the
necessary items required

for the procedure to succeed?

He means the cash.

[GUILLERMO] Yeah, it was almost
all the money I gave Derek

to turn me into a vampire.

He only spent like $
on "vampire clothes"

that he got from Hot Topic.

You don't need to count it.
It's all there, necromancer.

I should trust you when you when
you show me no respect for me

or my beguiling powers?

Respect? For a fraud?

But you've seen my methods succeed.

I've seen your magic.
It has a fraudulent vibe.

Okay, okay. Boys, why don't we focus?

[CHANTING]

He's doing his scatting sh*t.

- [CHANTING]
- [BELL TOLLS]

- [THUNDER CRASHING]
- [MANIC CHANTING]

Yah! [SPITS]

Get in, you dirty bastard!

[GASPS]

[GURGLING]

- Derek...
- [GASPING]

[RASPY] What's up, dude?

All right. Begone with ya.

He's all yours.

But, uh, if you're worried
about taking care of him,

- we do have a new offer.
- Of course you do.

- For a nominal fee...
- Here he goes.

... a rehousing option.

- [WHISTLES] Topher!
- No.

[SNARLING]

[LASZLO] What the f*ck?

[GUTTURAL] Who calls... Topher?

What's this "Thriller" sh*t?

- [GASPING]
- [SCREAMING]

[NORMAL VOICE] JK.

- [LAUGHTER]
- [LASZLO] Oh, it's that guy.

- Topher!
- Yeah, baby. Sup, guys?

- How you doing, Guillermo?
- [GUILLERMO] Topher, you look, uh...

- You look like sh*t.
- Well, I'm au naturel, babe.

I've had some work done.

You know, I'm still undead,

but I'm making the most of it, man.

Once you get used to the zombie body,

you can actually learn
to talk normal again.

Like this. Pretty cool, huh?

- He just does the accent for the tourists.
- Eh, you know.

Take 'em for an arm and a leg.

- [LAUGHTER]
- Yeah, man.

Who we got here?

- Der. Ek.
- [TOPHER] Oh, hey, look at that.

Yeah, he's trying.
It's gonna take him a couple months

to learn how to use the ol' mouth again.

But in the meantime,
the more the merrier.

Hey, Derek. How would
you like to join a g*ng

of crazy m*therf*ckers
just like yourself?

There's always room for a new friend.

- Friend?
- Yeah. Friend!

High five! [LAUGHS]

Oh, yeah, takes a second.

- Come on, buddy.
- Whoa!

- Easy, Derek.
- [LAUGHS]

Hey, boys, set a place at the
table for our new friend Derek!

- [ZOMBIES CHEERING]
- [LAUGHTER]

Hey, you like eating human flesh?

- [GROWLS]
- Oh, you will.

Very... cool.

- Bye, Derek.
- [LASZLO] Bye, Derek.

["INFIDEL ZOMBIE" BY
THE DICKIES PLAYING]

♪ Well, I've been running for a while ♪

♪ And I know that the
I'm next in line... ♪

Do you take Venmo?

Venmo? I take cash,
hard cash or gold coin. Or Zelle.

♪ She's an infidel zombie ♪

♪ And she gets depressed with duress ♪

♪ A love that cannot find me ♪

♪ She's an infidel zombie ♪

♪ And she gets depressed with duress ♪

♪ A love that cannot find me ♪

♪ She's an infidel zombie ♪

♪ Let me tell you, I don't believe it ♪

♪ There's a b*llet
with my name on it now ♪

♪ I don't believe it ♪

♪ There's a b*llet with my name on it ♪

♪ I said I don't believe it ♪

♪ There's a b*llet with
my name on it now. ♪

♪ ♪