04x01 - The Trial of Carmen Sandiego

[bunniefuu]

[typing]

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ Where is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ Carmen Sandiego

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

♪ Tell me

♪ Where is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Oh, Carmen Sandiego

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

♪ Where on Earth can she be? ♪

Good work, Archie Ology.

The temple's right where you said it would be.

[beeping]

Careful, Carmen Heat sensor scans indicate someone's hot

on your trail.

Perfect.

Zack: Huh? Check it out, Ivy.

Looks like Carmen's found some kind of ancient Aztec pyramid.

Uh, there's something weird, little bro.

We're in Mexico, but the Aztecs originally lived

nearly a thousand miles south of here.

Who cares, as long as we bag Carmen, right?

[gasp]

[gasp] Look out!

Booby traps?

This is weird, Ivy.

Yah!

Whoaaaa!

Ivy: Trust me.

You don't want to drop in on those guys.

Whoaaaa!

Zack! Keep under the moonbeams.

I'm guessing there's some sort of trigger.

Ah!

Uh, maybe we let her get away just this once?

[gasp] Ahh!

Ivy, this must be what she was after.

Why didn't she snatch it?

Huh?

Look!

Help! Zack! Ivy!

Player:

There she is!

Player, access the C- car.

Hurry!

We'll activate the car's tracking scanner!

Uh, excuse me?

Ivy, I'Ve got my driver's test tomorrow, remember?

I need all the practice I can get.

We are definitely headed for trouble.

Yeah, but it's going to be a fun trip.

[tires screeching]

Zack!

Hey-hi-haa-ho-oh-oh! Hey! What's the rush, gumshoe?

Whoa! Oh! Ow! Insurance alert! Insurance alert!

Who-oa! The Road Warrior's driving Miss Daisy!

Try steering!

Zack: He-ey, relax, Chief.

This new C- car's got brakes that could stop a bad day.

Chief, Info-Scan Crime Net world wide.

has anyone reported capturing Carmen Sandiego?

Oh man! They hyper-spaced her out of scanner range.

Zack, try to have the car back in our dimension

before I return.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Look out, Zack!

[splash]

Well, I'm driving, so it looks like you'll have to push, Ivy.

Really?

Is that here, Zack, or on the planet of guess again?

[beep] Chief: Carmen capture update.

Nothing just in.

There's absolutely no report of anybody apprehending

her tonight.

Whoa! Does that mean she's just been kidnapped?

I mean, why would anybody -

Shh!

Duck!

Ahh! We're under att*ck! Ayoooooga!

Dive! Dive! Ayoooga! Dive! Dive! Ayoooo--

Whoa!

Josha, buddy, come in!

Zack, what's up?

I thought you designed this car with metal plating?

So, who could throw a spear hard enough to embed it in a

re-enforced dashboard?

Josha: Well, whoever's after you could have done that

with an atlatl.

Awhatll?

Atlatl.

It's an ancient hunting tool at least , years old

that's still used today in some areas of the world.

Chief: And if it came with an instruction book back then,

it would have told cavemen to place the spear

in the atlatl and then whip it forward.

This gives the spear a lot more power and distance

than throwing it by hand.

Josha: Some scientists even think hunting with the

atlatl could have been what eventually caused

the disappearance of the mammoths.

Yeowwww!

Well, atlatl or not, whoever threw this spear is long gone.

Ungh!

Uh, Ivy hi.

I'll check with an expert I know on primitive tools,

and see if there are any local people still using the

atlatl in your neck of the woods.

Adios.

Ivy, look!

It's a clue on a stick and not Carmen's style at all.

A subpoena?

Transata-scan! Transata-scan!

Hear ye, year ye.

A subpoena is an official notice that you're being

called to appear in court.

The fine print says, "You are hereby subpoenaed

to appear at The Trial of Carmen Sandiego"?

What? Oh, I don't like this.

It says we should go to the Roman Forum.

Which I guess makes some kind of weird sense.

Old Roman law is the basis for our modern legal system.

Still, I'Ve got a bad feeling about this, detectives.

Well, whatever's going down, Chief,

we're blazing.

Player, C- us to the Roman Forum in Rome, Italy.

Say adios to Mexico, crime dogs,

and bon giorno to Rome, the capital city of Italy.

Ah, Roma!

Home of world-class soccer those mid-afternoon siestas!

Ivy: Hey, Chief, the Appian Way!

We're talking the oldest paved road in the world.

Built over years ago.

Zack: Hey! Think that's where ancient Roman kings took their

chariot road tests?

Zack! Don't call up info I can't drive around!

Ahhh! [crash]

Before you take your driving test, Zachary,

you better work on your parallel parking.

Hey!

Isn't that Carmen's scuzzball lawyer, Lee Galese?

Come on!

We'll rent a scooter and get the car later!

[speaking Italian]

He's slowing down like he wants us to keep up.

Could be a trap.

He's headed into the Roman catacombs?

Isn't this where they buried thousands of Christian

martyrs back in the Second Century?

Yup.

And Lee Galese has over acres of underground tunnels

to lose us in, unless we get going!

Whoa!

[evil laugh]

Huh?

It's a trap!

Yah! Get out!

Yah! Don't! It's hot, Ivy!

Zack!

Look!

Carmen!

Chief:

Chief:

If we can get through these laser bars,

Carmen's ours, little bro!

Hmm.

Player, Info-Scan Crime Net files for anything on the

name, Judge R.B. Traitor.

Chief: Did you say, Judge R.B. Traitorl?

Ivy, flee-fly- flash-fo-fum run,

and get the flamin' heck out of there until we can get

you some backup!

Traitor is trouble with a capital "T,

and that rhymes with "D," and that stands for dangerous.

He was once a real criminal court judge who got tired of

putting crooks in jail just to see them get out.

So he quit the law and now he hunts crooks down,

finds 'em guilty and sentences them to some

secret jail ACME's never been able to find,

while stealing their booty for himself.

Kind of a whacked-out, one stop judge and jury,

huh, Chief?

Chief: You got it!

I'll triangulate your exact location in the catacombs

and send in backup.

Whatever you do, don't mix it up with this guy.

Traitor: Hear ye! Hear ye!

All rise!

Court is now in session.

The exalted Judge R.B. Traitor presiding.

It's now or never, Zack!

Whoaaa!

Umph!

Order in my court!

Carmen Sandiego, you hereby stand accused of a lifetime

of thievery.

Stealing objects of every shape and size.

Fleeing from justice and on the night of September th,

I charge you with breaking and entering Salisbury

Cathedral in England to steal the Magna Carta!

What is going on here?

Your Honor!

My client pleads that due to the obfuscation of the prima

facie evidence, and the absence of any sort of

habeas corpus, the ipso post facto argument clearly

demonstrates the charges herewith are specious and

should be dropped poste haste under the statute of -

You're dismissed, Lee Galese!

Ahhhh!

He's criminally insane!

Carmen Sandiego, you are Guilty!

Guilty!

Guilty as charged!

Tell me where you've hidden the Magna Carta before I

sentence you to life in the dungeon cell of your choice.

[evil laugh]

Who do you think you are, Traitor,

appointing yourself Carmen's Judge and Jury?

You can't get away with this!

Uh, Ivy, this isn't high school Mock Trial.

I think you should sit down.

Carmen's a thief, but where I come from,

she gets to stand trial at a real courtroom,

where you're innocent until proven guilty by a jury

of your peers!

You're out of order, young lady!

I'm out of order!?

I never stole the Magna Carta, Your Honor.

That's why I asked you to bring Zack and Ivy here.

They have evidence that will prove my innocence!

What!?

Hmm. This could be interesting.

Proceed.

This is our chance, Zack.

Play along.

You may approach the bench.

Ivy, what are you, nuts?

If you can prove Carmen did not steal the Magna Carta I

will turn her over and you may have her tried in your

own petty legal system.

However, if she did steal the Magna Carta,

which I crave, I shall dispense my own brand of justice.

Zack, Ivy, Traitor has some kind of high tech blocking system.

I can't triangulate your coordinates.

Humph! Never mind, Chief.

Ivy here's gonna prove Carmen's not a thief.

You're what!? Owww!

Uh, Your Honor, may I have a moment with my colleagues?

Chief, activate the Shield of Silence.

How in the world are you two going to defend

a thief like Carmen?

Carmen says we have evidence that can prove she didn't

steal the Magna Carta.

Info-Scan the Magna Carta.

Chief: The Magna Carta?

That famous document sealed in England way back

in the year ?

Ivy: For the first time it took the law away from the king

and spread it out among a group of people.

This was the first step toward our modern system

of trial by jury.

Ivy, one of the original four copies of the Magna

Carta was on display in Salisbury Cathedral,

England, but look! It's not there anymore!

Ah-ha! Carmen did steal it!

I knew it. Case closed! Check please!

Ivy: Chief, in a real trial you prove the person who's

accused of something, was really at the scene of the crime.

So, were we chasing Carmen anywhere near Salisbury

Cathedral on September th?

There! That's it!

Chief: Uh, what do you need besides glasses, Ivy?

That's you guys chasing Carmen at the Statue of

Liberty on September th.

Which is perfect for our case.

Because if we were chasing Carmen there -

She couldn't have been in England stealing

the Magna Carta the same time.

There's exactly how we'll prove our case, Ivy,

with the very thing lawyers always show in court.

Freeze frame, Chief!

Ivy: Evidence.

Traitor, we need time to gather our evidence!

If you're not back in hours, or if you even try to

tamper with these cuffs, how's this for bail?

They'll explode. [evil laugh]

I don't usually wear exploding jewelry, Traitor.

It's a bit theatrical for my tastes.

Player, C- us to the Statue of Liberty.

Chief: All rise!

This C- is now in session from Rome,

Italy to New York City, U.S.A.

All having business with the corridor say, aye.

Aye.

Ah, Liberty Enlightening the World,

or as she's more commonly known,

The Statue of Liberty.

A gift to the United States from France,

this grande dame of freedom rises over feet from toe to

torch in New York Harbor.

And there she's welcomed millions of immigrants

coming here for the liberties offered by the

laws of the United States, including freedom of speech,

freedom of religion, and the guarantee of a

trial by jury.

And if anyone challenges your freedoms in America,

you can try to take the case all the way to the highest

court in all the land, the real People's Court,

the Supreme Court in Washington D.C.

This C- is now adjourned.

Nice night for a little rappelling.

No!

This'll prove Carmen was here and not in Salisbury

stealing the Magna Carta!

Friends of yours, Carmen?

Oh no you don't!

Unh! Waaah!

We've gotta do something!

Ahhhh!

Unh!

Ahhhhh!

Chief:

Chief:

Ahhhhh!

Ivy!

Ahhhhhh!

Waaah!

Zaaaaaack!

No!

Ivy!

Here!

Whooooooa!

Oh man.

Hang on, sis!

Zaaaaaack!

Gotcha!

But who's got you?

Just looking out for my defense team, detectives.

Well, that's a major setback.

Without evidence we can't prove our case.

Detectives, maybe we're going about this the wrong way.

I didn't steal the Magna Carta,

but if we can prove who did, it'll put me in the clear.

That's a great idea.

Player, C- us to the scene of the crime,

Salisbury Cathedral, England.

We're ACME Detectives and we're investigating the

missing Magna Carta.

Hey, isn't that Carmen Sandiego?

We're transporting her in protective custody.

Now, about the missing Magna Carta.

But it's not missing.

It's not?

What?

How could that be?

Now I'm only telling you this because you're

ACME Detectives.

But when we were informed that someone might be

planning to steal it we took it off public display,

and moved it up here for safety.

This whole case has been off kilter from the start, Ivy.

If I didn't know better, I'd say this smells like a

setup, little bro.

Traitor: And you'd be correct.

How nice of you to use your clout to gain access to the

Magna Carta for us, detectives.

Archie Ology working with Traitor?

Carmen: Of course not.

They're both working for me!

[gasp]

They would never have had the imagination to think

of tricking you into helping with the biggest legal theft

of the century.

Noooo!

Oof! Ahhh!

Ahhh!

The Aztec temple and the kidnapping were all faked to

lure us so we'd help you find the Magna Carta!

And you did an excellent job, Zack.

If I ever need legal advice, I'll call.

[beeping]

Come on.

We can get out this way and rappel down.

We'll never get to them in time.

Unless we use a little help.

From an atlatl.

Good thinking, Zack!

Wahh!

Sorry, Carmen!

No souvenirs allowed!

Give me that!

Yeeeah!

Huh?

Ivy!

I'd call this attempted entrapment, detectives.

You'll have to do better!

Oh man! I hate this!

You know, we come so close to doing our job,

we figure it out put it all together -

I know, I know, little bro, and she still gets away.

No.

We did all that and she never paid us.

Do you know the kinds of legal fees she would have

run up by now if we'd really been her lawyers?

I mean, the billable hours the research,

the strategy sessions.

We're in the wrong line of work, Ivy.

I'm thinking of going to law school.

Player:

Carmen:

Carmen: on that one.

[engine gunning]

You said turn here, right?

Did you mean left?

Whoa.

Getting my license means a lot to me,

so, let me do the driving test over, ok?

[whimpers]

[screaming]