02x07 - Boyhood's End pt. 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ [EERIE MUSIC]

[TYPING ON KEYS]

-Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ WHERE IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?

♪ CARMEN SANDIEGO

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ TELL ME WHERE IS CARMEN SANDIEGO? ♪

♪ CARMEN SANDIEGO

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ OOOH

♪ SPHINX, MONA LISA...

♪ LEANING TOWER OF PISA...

♪ LONDON ZOO, TIMBUKTU

♪ CAN'T YOU HELP US FIND A CLUE ♪

♪ WHERE IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?

♪ CARMEN SANDIEGO

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

[GENTLE MURMURS]

-See anything, Ivy?

-Nothing yet, little bro.

But I know Carmen's hiding somewhere nearby.

Aw, let's face it, Ive.

She stole King Tut's Sarcophagus

over twelve hours ago.

She's probably not even in the Mid East anymore.

-She couldn't just vanish into thin air

like the Cairo police claim.

Wanna bet she's tunneled into some dune waiting to--

Huh!?

-Zack! The oasis! Huh!?

[GASP]

-She hid in the oasis! Brilliant!

-Huh!?

-Aaahhhh!

-Aaahhhh!

[PANICKED EXCLAMATIONS]

-Carmen must have gotten water in her fuel t*nk!

-Grab on, little hro! We got her!

-Whoaaa!

-I gotcha, Zack!

I don't pick up hitchhikers.

-Give it up, Carmen! Your engine took on water...

-And you can't escape with all of us on board.

-I can clear up both those problems at once, Zack.

-Aughhhhh! Whoaaaa!

-Enjoy the Sahara sunrise, kids.

I understand it's spectacular from the top of the Sphinx.

-Ivyyy!

-Wha--....! Whoaaa!

Ivyyyy!!

-Ahhhh!

-Yeeeeaaaaahhhh !

-Whoaaaaa!

-Well, well, well.

Acme's own Indiana Jones is on the case. [CHUCKLES]

-What the...

-Why's a smart detective like you

hangin' around a place like this anyway?

-Don't be cute. If you're going to help me, help!

-Now's not the time for us to trade skills, flyboy.

We'll meet again.

-Aughhh!

-Whoaaaaa!

[LAUGHS] Lee Jordan.

So tell me, what do you think of me so far?

-Oh brother.

And I'm ahout to teach him a trick or two.

If he's as willing to follow my lead as I think.

-Ivy! Check this out.

Lee Jordan's solved over a hundred cases

in the last four years.

-This guy's incredibly amazing.

-And that's exactly what he'll tell you,

if you just happen to ask,

"How are you today, Lee?"

"Why, I'm incredibly amazing."

-Good impersonation.

-Huh?

-But I would have said, "I'm incrediblyamazing."

And how are you?

[GASP]

-Whoa! Lee, your record says you once

captured Carmen in Morocco.

-Yeah. I did.

I tracked her for three solid months.

And then I caught her and the local police botched it.

-But you caught her!

I mean, once you've done that, it's it!

It's everything!

What do you do for a challenge after that?

-The next time I catch her,

it's going to have a real different ending.

That's all I know.

-Well, all I know is,

Carmen just stole King Tut's Sarcophagus.

So... thanks for the save in the Sahara,

but Zack and I are on the case.

-Uh, Ivy, I could help you catch her.

Well, if you'd let me.

-Okay, listen up crime dogs. You legal beagles.

It's substitution time!

Zack, you button hook left, hold up on that thought,

then go long...

...for the Pentagon. Ivy, you...

-Wait a sec, Chief.

-What's the Pentagon got to do with Carmen

stealing King Tut's Sarcophagus?

-Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

What was I talking about?

-Ah! The Pentagon is having

some major computer complications...

...and I promised 'em the boy wonder here

would lend his expertise.

-But Chief, what about the case?

-Meet your new partner, Lee Jordan!

-What!? We've met.

[LAUGHS] Guess I'm outta here.

He likes 'ya.

[LOUD KISS ON IVY'S CHEEK]

-Brat.

[CHUCKLING]

[CLEARING THROAT]

Well, since you've butted in,

what do you say we get down to business.

Player, Info-Scan King Tut...

...and let's see if we can find a clue to

why Carmen would want a sarcophagus.

CHIEF: Hey- ah, I got one, give me two,

what do I hear for this fabulous solid gold,

partly used sarcophagus?

Whoa! Talk about being buried in style!

Who said you can't take it with 'ya?

-Back in Nineteen Twenty-two when Howard Carter

and Lord Carnarvon opened Tutankhamun's

three thousand year old tomb...

-Eureka!

-Whoaaaa!

-They made one of the greatest archaeological finds ever.

Young King Tut Boy Pharaoh, had a tomb

that was stuffed with millions of dollars worth of

ancient gold jewelry, giant statues,

little-bitty statues, children's games...

...chariots, and other items...

...fit for a boy king who took the Egyptian throne

at nine years old!

-Uh, so far I'm not getting a clue here, Chief.

-Uh, Ivy, now maybe you'll listen to me.

I was trying to tell you that after I let

you and Zack off at the Cairo police,

I followed Carmen with this tracking device. But--

-Lee, this could be the clue we need.

Where exactly did she put it down?

-She spotted me trailing her over Palermo, Sicily.

But she abandoned her hovercraft

without even leaving a clue.

I already checked it out.

-I say we double check it out.

Player, C-Five us to Sicily's capital city of Palermo.

-Okay. Brush up on your Italian paisans.

You're on your way from San Francisco, California

to Palermo, Sicily.

[MURMURS IN ITALIAN]

-Hmm, this is very strange. [GASPS]

-Oh yeah? What's strange?

-You in that hat, for one thing.

-Flattery will get you everywhere.

It must have fallen off when Carmen was fleeing.

-Really? Then what's this?

-Last time I checked those were called hat pins.

-Right, smarty pants.

And hat pins are for keeping hats on.

It was designed hy Paloma Picasso!

And Carmen fashioned it into a hat pin!

-All right!

Player, C- Five us to New York City

where designer Paloma Picasso--

Hey!

-Not so fast, hot sh*t. Something's hothering me here.

Player, bring up the Acme Aeronautical Search map.

-Give me the travel distance from Egypt to New York.

-Ha! I knew you were wrong.

New York is four thousand eight hundred fifty-nine

nautical miles from Egypt.

And according to the settings when she flew out of Egypt,

she was planning to travel only a total

of one thousand five hundred sixtv miles

in a west-north westerly direction.

So, no way was New York her planned destination.

And look! The odometer shows she traveled

only one thousand nineteen when she landed here.

That means she was what, uhm,

five hundred forty-one miles short

of her planned destination.

-Player, quick, if Carmen had continued

in the same direction,

where would another five hundred forty-one miles

have taken her?

-Barcelona! She must have heen headed to Spain!

-Ivy, I could kiss you.

-Ha-ha! Dream on, Lee.

I never kiss on the first case.

Besides, we have to figure out where

exactly in Barcelona Carmen's headed.

-Player, cross-reference Picasso with Barcelona.

-Barcelona, Spain was a childhood home

of the famous artist, Pablo Picasso,

who is known as one of the fathers of Cubism.

-Ivy, Pablo Picasso was the father of Paloma Picasso,

who designed this pin!

That's got to he the connection!

-Carmen could he headed to the museum

in downtown Barcelona right now!

We hetter check it out!

-Player, C-Five us to Barcelona, Spain.

-Grab your capes you teenage toreadors!

You're on your way from Palermo, Sicily

to Barcelona, Spain.

-Ah, Spain! Land of Flamenco dancing, bullfighting,

and the Sagrada Familia Cathedral,

which began construction one hundred twelve years ago,

and it still isn't finished today!

Scan Pablo Picasso for possible items Carmen

might be after.

CHIEF: Yes, welcome to a wild and wacky school of art

that takes a natural form, like a person,

and breaks it up into geometric shapes.

-Da-Da?

-Hey! Hey! What's wrong with this picture?

Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Wait!

Put down the Pablum, Pablo.

I... I mean that literally. You can't leave me like this!

-Hey! That's "The First Communion."

Picasso painted that when he was only fourteen years old.

-And that was just the beginning.

Our pal, Picasso, whipped out over fifty thousand

works of art in his life. We're talking more than

five hundred every single year!

They say he created so many works that after

one house would get full,

he'd just lock it up and move into another one.

Now, pack your paint thinner, crime solvents!

Next stop, the Picasso Museum in Barcelona, Spain!

-Wait here.

-Lee!

-Lee?

[PANTING]

-Huh? Lee!

[FRUSTRATED GROAN]

-So, you came looking for a masterpiece tonight, Carmen?

-Oh, I've got the masterpiece.

But actually I'm more interested in a...

work in progress.

-What's that mean?

-I think you already know. Don't you, Lee?

-Get her, Lee!

-I told you to wait back there! Get out!

-No! She's getting away!

[IMPACT GRUNT]

-I'll handle this!

-It's my case, hot sh*t!

[GRUNTS]

-Noooo!

I almost had her.

If you hadn't distracted me I would have--

-What? -Huh?

[TRAIN APPROACHES]

-Let's get outta here!

-Aaaahhhh!

-Hang on for the ride of your lives, detectives.

-Ahhhhhhh!

-We got her if we can open the canopy!

-Ungh-ungh-ungh.

Looks like your stop's coming right now, Ivy.

-Uhmph! Oh!

[IMPACT GRUNTS]

-Next time you take the metro,

I suggest you ride in the train.

Even with this clue, it'll take an oracle

to figure out what I'm up to.

-Hey, looks like a clue. Let's get down there.

-I can't believe you made me lose her!

-Excuse me!? I made you lose her?

This is my case.

And I'll thank you to remember that.

-And you remember who's the only Acme detective

that ever captured Carmen.

-All you have to do is help me find her.

What I do after that,

you're better off not having anything to do with.

-I got a had feeling about this.

-Okay. Okay.

It's not Alexander the Great himself...

not the countries he conquered...

-Not the stone it's made out of.

Not the artist who cut it. So...

...what's the connection?

-I don't know. If I did, do you think we'd still

be sitting here, seven hours later?

-Okay, let's start at the beginning again

and see if we missed anything.

Player, Info-Scan Alexander the Great's early years.

-Hey, kid, push my belly button.

[BURP]

-W-Wait! That's Aristotle.

-Is there a problem with the Info-Scan?

What does one of the greatest thinkers of all time

have to do with Alexander the Great?

-I was Alexander the Great's teacher

when he was a boy.

I taught him everything I knew.

-Push my belly button. [BURPS]

-When he was in his teens...

...Alexander wanted to join his father's army.

But first he needed a horse.

-Whoaaaaa!

-Whoaaaa!

-Whoaaaaa!

-I love this part.

This is where little Alexander the Great tames

the untamable horse, Bucephalus.

He could always do the undo-able.

[CROWD] Alexander the Great! Alexander the Great!

-He's seedless.

-The name is Great, not grape.

Great! Alexander the Great!

-Okay, so the grape part never really happened.

But Alex did tame Bucephalus and rode him

into every battle...

as he conquered almost all

the known world.

Egypt, Persia and most of the lands to

the western edge of India.

-Nothing new. I'm right back where I started.

-You're not the only one on this case.

-Hey! I might as well he for all you're adding.

[SIGHS] I need some fresh air.

-Player, scan Carmen's early years at Acme.

-At age seventeen, Carmen solved more cases

than any detective ever.

-No! Bring up two more windows and cross-check

her first Acme case with her last heist.

-And cross-reference all three stolen items again.

I need more information! Scroll faster!

I will find you!

[GROWL OF FRUSTRATION]

-Lee?

-Our next meeting will end very differently, Carmen.

I'm the best there ever was.

-Zack, I'm telling you, my new partner is

coming apart at the seams.

-You think you've got problems.

This whole computer system at the Pentagon was broken

into by some nut on a pay phone,

and I nearly had everything back on line, when a call

from so ewhere in Europe crashed the system agam.

-Yeah. Look, Zack, Carmen gave us this statue of

Alexander the Great and Lee and I are

at a total dead end.

-Did Carmen say anything?

-Well, something like "You'll need an oracle

to figure out what I'm up to."

But I...

-Why didn't we see it?

She gave us a visual clue and a verbal clue --

The oracle could be the oracle at Delphi!

-What are you talking about?

-Back in ancient times, oracles were the place to go

when you wanted to know the future,

and Alexander the Great consulted the Oracle at Delphi

in ancient Greece!

-Player, C-Five us to Delphi, Greece! I know Carmen's there!

[GASPS]

[SPEAKING GREEK]

-What'd he say?

-He said, uhm, he hasn't seen anyone

and that it looks like rain.

Yeah, I think we should probably split up.

Carmen could be anywhere.

[RINGTONE]

-Go ahead, Zack.

-Ivy! You're not going to believe this, but we

just tracked the hacker who broke into the

system to a phone booth in Palermo, Sicily!

-Wait a minute! Lee and I were in Palermo.

-Well, whoever did it is really good.

They knew how to use some pretty

sophisticated equipment.

-Zack, what does... kokia and uneka and dona hone?

-Uh, it means something like red and lady,

temple something.

-I knew it!

Zack, I think Lee is the one who made that phone call

and screwed up the Pentagon system.

-Why would he do that?

-We were hot on Carmen's trail.

He wanted in on our case and needed you out.

I need you right now, little bro.

-He's probably headed right to the spot

where the Oracle would speak to Alexander the Great!

We can take a short cut!

-This is the secret entrance

the ancient priestesses used to get to the Oracle.

-He won't get far. Let's go!

[STRAINING]

[CHUCKLES]

-Huh!? Whaaa!?

-We meet again, Lee Jordan.

-The best meets the best, hey, Carmen?

[PHYSICAL STRAIN]

[CARMEN LAUGHS]

-Uhnnnn! Grrrrr! [STRUGGLING GRUNTS]

-You're almost out of time, Lee.

-No, Carmen. It is time.

[STRAIN] Umfhh!

-You're good, Lee. But I'm better.

I always was. And I always will be.

But look on the bright side.

If you don't catch me,

that challenge is still available to you.

If you do catch me, why, what's left for you?

[STRAINING]

-This time won't he like the last time, Carmen!

-Ah!

[GRUNT]

I gotcha. [BREATHLESS]

-No, detective. I got you. [CHUCKLE]

CHIEF: To be continued. Don't you hate it?

♪♪