01x09 - Chapter And Verse

[bunniefuu]

♪ [EERIE MUSIC]

[TYPING ON KEYS]

-Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

♪ [DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ WHERE IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?

♪ CARMEN SANDIEGO

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ TELL ME WHERE IS CARMEN SANDIEGO? ♪

♪ CARMEN SANDIEGO

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ OOOH

♪ SPHINX, MONA LISA...

♪ LEANING TOWER OF PISA...

♪ LONDON ZOO, TIMBUKTU

♪ CAN'T YOU HELP US FIND A CLUE ♪

♪ WHERE IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?

♪ CARMEN SANDIEGO

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

♪ WHERE ON EARTH CAN SHE BE?

-Two days on this stake out

and all we've caught are some rays, Ivy.

-Well, hey, if Crime Net's right,

and Carmen is after the statue

of Little Mermaid...

... it wouldn't hurt to brush up on our

Hans Christian Anderson.

We might scope out a clue to why she'd want it.

[LOW GROWL]

-What is it, boy?

[LOW GROWL]

[BUBBLING & ERUPTING]

-Auhhh --

unghh.

-Whoah! That surfer saved himself

but it looks like we've got trouble!

-Woahhh!! Help!...

UNGHHH!

-It's Carmen bustin' a move!

[exclamations in Danish]

-Let's check those ice pirates

into the penalty box, sis!

[grunts of exertion]

-Now, Zack!

[grunts of exertion]

-Woahhhh...

[coughing]

-Here she comes. C'mon!

[grunts of exertion]

-Here goes nothin'!

-Woah!!

-I got the statue!

-And you're next, Carmen.

-Woah!!

[grunts] Whoahhh!

-Nice save, Zack.

-But we missed Carmen again!

-My detectives froze you out this time, Carmen.

"Top brother and sister detectives,

Zack and Ivy, foiled yet another attempted heist

by Carmen Sandiego...

...and captured two Henchmen."

-Boy, all this publicity is getting

pretty embarrassing, huh, Zack?

-Speak for yourself.

They've been givin' me freebies at the arcade

all week, Sis.

[RINGTONE]

CHIEF: A Crime Net Bulletin just in.

So we interrupt this cheap tabloid journalism...

-Hey, I happen like cheap tabloid journalism, Chief.

Especially when it's about me.

-Well, while you sit on your big fat laurels, Zack,

Carmen Sandiego's on the move again.

-She was just spotted in London

-- that's in England --

near the house of this dude,

famous nineteenth century author...

-Charles Dickens! Oh, I love his novels.

I bet I've read A Christmas Carol a dozen times.

-What's with the writers? First Hans Christian Anderson

and now Charles Dickens?

-Maybe Carmen's joined the

"Steal-a-Literary-Classic-of- the-Month Club."

-Player, C- us to Charles Dickens' house.

CHIEF: Right-oh, grab your deerstalkers.

-You're on your way from San Francisco

to London, England, sleuthing grounds of

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's famous detective,

Sherlock Holmes himself!

-London is the capital city of England

and home of Westminster Abbey...

The Empire State Building... and the Tower Bridge.

-Uh, Chief, the Empire State Building

is in New York City!

-NEW YORK CITY?!!!!

-Sorry about that.

The mainframe's been crosslinking files all day.

Security is checking it out.

-Hey, that's Oliver Twist.

-He's the orphan boy from

Charles Dickens' first big book.

CHIEF: Yup, and get this twist. Pardon the pun.

Oliver was inspired by Dickens' own life.

-Young Charles' real family was so poor,

they were tossed in a prison when

they couldn't pay their bills.

-And twelve year old Chuck had to go to work

in a shoe polish factory to feed himself.

And that stuff tastes terrible!

-Come here, you little dickens!!

-Wonder if that's where that saying came from?

-Oh well, check please, I'm outta here!

[BLOWS POLICE WHISTLE]

-Ah, the lass got away.

-We're from the Acme Detective Agency

and that's no lass!

-That's Carmen Sandiego. Come on!

-Police business, mate.

The tourists'll have to wait!

-Uh, Ivy, you're driving on the wrong side

of the street!

-Relax, Zack.

You're supposed to drive on the left side in England!

-She went into Trafalgar Square!

-Where's the woman who was on this bike?

-She went that way.

-Let's split up. She can't be far.

[HORSE WHINNY]

-It's Carmen!

[HORSE WHINNY]

[HORSE WHINNY]

-Hope you don't mind if I share your cab, detectives.

-As a famous American poet, Robert Frost once wrote...

"I've miles to go before I sleep."

-Yeah, well... as this poet says...

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Carmen is gone,

so what do we do?

-We go check out Dickens' house, little bro

and see what Carmen stole.

-The Curator says the only thing missing

is Charles Dickens' ink well.

-Why an inkwell when she could have ripped off

any of these antique books?

-David Copperfield by Charles Dickens.

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

A Christmas Carol by...

-Woah... Charles Dickens' favorite writer

must have been Charles Dickens.

-Zack, look! This one's brand new.

"The Biggest..." The biggest what?

-It's gotta be a clue to Carmen's next robbery.

-Player, info scan things that are

the biggest of their kind.

-Biggest fish, the whale shark.

-Uh, Carmen's into writers, Player.

What's big that has to do with writing?

-Biggest word in the English language.

Forty-five letters.

-Pneumono- ultramicroscopic- silicovolc- anoconiosis.

Thank you.

It means: "a lung disease caused by inhaling

very fine dust particles."

-Hey! Check it out, Ivy!

The only thing "Big" here

is the mistake we're making.

-Look at the cover page!

Written by "Nom de Plume."

-Nom de Plume.

That means a made up name writers use

instead of their real ones, doesn't it?

-Player, info scan famous writers

who didn't use their real names.

-Alice in Wonderland was written by Lewis Carrol,

whose real name was Charles Dodgson.

O'Henry, of those oh-so "surprise ending"

short stories, was really William Sidney Porter.

And Charles Dickens even published his first work

under the Nom de Plume... Boz.

-Zack, here's some interesting reading!

-No wonder Carmen used a nom de plume.

She can't even get her cliches right.

It's supposed to be "and never the twain shall meet."

-Zack, Carmen did that on purpose!

Samuel Clemens wrote under the Nom de plume, Mark Twain!

Clemens, Twain, that's the clue!

"You'll find me at the River

and never the twain shall meet!

I'll bet my library card she's after something

belonging to Mark Twain!

-And the River's got to be the Mississippi!

Some of his most famous stories took place

along its banks!

-Player, C- us to the Mark Twain Museum

in Hannibal Missouri.

Carmen's book tour's about to come to an end!

CHIEF: You're on your way from London, England

to Hannibal, Missouri in the good old U.S.A.

-Missouri is home to

some of the Mississippi Riverboats...

the St. Louis Gateway Arch...

and where rd President of the United States,

Harry S. Truman, was born.

-Whoah, looks like rush hour

in New York City, Chief.

-Well, the Mississippi river

is the main water highway in the United States.

-It's over two thousand miles long

and runs through ten states.

-In the mid 's Samuel Clemens,

A.K.A. Mark Twain,

rode the Mississippi in a riverboat.

In fact, that's how he got the idea

for that Nom de Plume of his.

-Young Sam had a job measuring

the depth of the water, and when it was safe to pass,

he'd yell...

-MARK TWAIN!!

-That's just two feet higher than a basketball hoop.

-Okay, here we....

[SPED-UP DIALOGUE INDISCERNIBLE]

-Chief, what's wrong?

-Security's trying to work out the mainframe glitch.

We'll handle it, bookworms.

You brace yourself for a landing

in Hannibal, Missouri, and stop Carmen Sandiego.

-Whaaaoooo.... unghhhh!

-Another smooth landing...

Hunh?!

-Just what do you think you're doing,

wrecking this fence?

-Mark Twain?

-You see him too?

-Aw, good, because I thought it was the fall.

-Uh, Sir? It was an accident.

-Accident or no,

today is our big celebration for Mark Twain,

and I'm going to do some readings,

right in front of this famous fence...

as soon as you repair it!

-Gee, I'm sorry.

You can send the bill to the Acme Detective Agency.

-Bill my foot! You're gonna fix it.

-Uhh... Didn't Mark Twain once say,

"Never put off 'til tomorrow

what you can do the day after tomorrow?"

-He said it, but he wasn't talking about you.

-Great! We're supposed to be tracking Carmen.

Now, what are we gonna do?

-Maybe we can use an idea

from a Mark Twain book, little bro'.

Boy, this sure is fun, huh, Zack.

-What are you nuts? I hate painting.

So did "Tom Sawyer",

but remember what he did to get out of it?

-Oh... Right.

-I'd rather paint than just about

anything in the world.

-That's really fun? Can I try?

-Naw, only big kids are allowed

to have this much fun.

Sorry.

-Hey, I'm big.

I caught a pound catfish

right out of the Mississippi River.

-Hey, I'm bigger than he is.

-Yeah?

-I'll give you my trusty pocket tool-pal

if I can paint.

-And I'll give you my fishing line,

and my skateboard!

[excited chatter]

-Well, you gotta hand it to Tom Sawyer,

he sure knew how to make hard work pay off.

Come on.

-That's Carmen's henchwoman, Page Turner!

-She's a world renowned expert on literature

and loves playing out crimes from famous novels.

-While I distract everyone with a "reading"

from their hero, you steal Twain's

cherry writing desk.

-Gasp!

-Mind if we redecorate?

-Woahhh... [IMPACT GRUNT]

-Not so fast, detectives.

-Carmen said you two might show up for my reading.

-You'll have to excuse me, detectives.

My public awaits!

-First, Charles Dickens' inkwell.

Now Mark Twain's writing desk. What is Carmen up to?

-The only way we'll find out is by checkin' out!

-Tom Sawyer was a made-up story,

but it was based on real people

in Mark Twain's life.

-Hurry, Zack!

And it's true that Mark Twain himself

was once really lost in a cave

with a childhood girlfriend, name of Laura Hawkins,

an adventure he later wrote into Tom Sawyer.

-Look! Another Carmen clue book!

-No time now, unless you speed read, little bro'!

-Stop! She's pretending to be me,

pretending to be Mark Twain!

[CROWD MURMURS]

-Whoahhhh!

-If Huck Finn traveled the Mississippi

by raft, so can we.

-Ivy, he wasn't chasing a speedboat.

-True. But he didn't have an outboard motor,

and we do!

-Whoahhhhh!

-Ivy! Go right! Go right! Go right!

[Screaming]

-I can't!

[grunts on imapct]

[COUGHING & SPUTTERING]

-Boy, wait'll the Chief gets the bill

for that raft.

-Yeah, especially after us losing Page Turner

and Mark Twain's writing desk.

-At least we still have Carmen's book.

-You two look like something the catfish dragged in.

-It's a long story, Captain.

Care to hear it over a cup of cocoa?

-Look at all these names.

-"Oliver Twist, Jim Hawkins, Huckleberry Finn..."

-"Heidi. Meg, Beth, Jo, and Amy March. Mowgli."

-They're all kids from famous novels.

-Player, cross-reference these characters.

-Still having technical difficulties, Gumshoes.

Please stand by!

-Aw, man! Not again!

Hey!

-Woah! Hot tip from Crime Net.

Looks like Carmen just swept into India

like a monsoon...

-Where she stole a jungle ruin similar

to one described by Rudyard Kipling

in his Jungle Books.

-Ah, Mowgli, people are so uncivilized!

Aren't you glad you were raised by wild beasts?

-Dicken's Ink well. Twain's Desk. Kipling's jungle ruin.

-What do they have in common?

-Well, Charles Dickens wrote about "Oliver Twist."

Rudyard Kipling wrote about "Mowgli."

And both were kids without families. Right?

-Right. But Mark Twain wrote Tom Sawyer,

and he had a family. I mean, not parents,

but he lived with his aunt, Polly, remember?!

-Wait a minute, Zack! That's it!

"Tom Sawyer," "Oliver Twist" and "Mowgli"

were all orphans!

-So?

-So if there's another orphan on Carmen's list...

-Look! Heidi! She was an orphan girl

who lived in the Swiss Alps.

-Heidi was written by Johanna Spyri in Switzerland!

That's gotta be the connection, Ivy!

-Player, C- us to the Alps,

home of writer Johanna Spyri!

[CHIEF YODELS]

-Hope you brought your Swiss Army Kn*fe, kids,

because we are on our way from the flatlands

of Hannibal, Missouri to the mountainous terrain

of Maienseld, Switzerland!

-Hey! Isn't that Hannibal and his elephants?

CHIEF: Yup. Back in B.C.,

this famous Carthiginean General

marched his whole army and a pack of pachyderms

right over the Swiss Alps.

Boy, if one of these guys got a head cold,

you'd know it.

[elephant sneeze]

-Gesundheit.

Good thing I packed my pachydermal underwear.

[EXCITED CROWD MURMURS]

-Look, Ivy!

-Well, one thing you can always say for Carmen;

she's dramatic.

"The Biggest Crimes of All Time"

That's what the Biggest meant!

-So that's what all this is about.

Twain's desk, Dickens' inkwell.

Carmen's writing her memoirs!

-And she stole a ruin Kipling described,

putting it on a remote mountaintop for...

...The perfect writer's hideaway.

-Then why did you lead us here with clues,

if you wanted to be left alone, Carmen?

-I needed to take you off-line

for a while, detectives.

-You see, while you were running around the world,

Professor Sarah Bellum was hacking into

the Acme computer system.

-That's why the mainframe's been acting up!

You were playing around with Crime Net files.

-[chuckles] Not playing, Zack.

I've just stolen the entire Acme Detective Agency.

-What?! -That's impossible!

-It's my most brilliant crime ever,

and the perfect final chapter for my memoirs.

See you on the best-seller list!

[exertion]

-We've got to get that CD back!

[struggling]

-We'll never catch her!

-Maybe we won't have to if we can make her drop it.

-Hunh?

-Big fresh snow fall on top of old

icy packed snow plus noise equals...

[blows]

Avalanche! [echoing]

-Yes! We did it, Zack! She dropped the CD!

-Yes, the fish-o-matic.

It casts, it reels, it catches endangered floppies!

-Sorry, Carmen.

This is one last chapter you'll never write!

-Nice catch, Zack.

Too bad you'll never be able to do that with me.

-She gets away every time.

What's the use of chasing her?

-Perk up, little bro'.

We got everything back, didn't we?

-But we always get everything back, sis.

When are we going to get HER!

That's an ending I want someone to write for us.

-We'll bring it up at the next staff meeting,

once we get the Chief back on line.

-Yeah, a big splashy ending with

Carmen going to jail, and you and me on the cover

of magazines all over the country.

We'll go on "Donahue"...

we'll get our own book deal. We'll be famous!

♪♪