01x01 - The Stolen Smile

[bunniefuu]

♪ [Eerie music]

[Typing on keys]

-Where on earth is carmen sandiego?

♪ [Dramatic music]

♪ Where is carmen sandiego?

♪ Carmen sandiego

♪ Where on earth can she be?

♪ Tell me where is carmen sandiego? ♪

♪ Carmen sandiego

♪ Where on earth can she be?

♪ Where on earth can she be?

♪ Oooh

♪ Sphinx, mona lisa...

♪ Leaning tower of pisa...

♪ London zoo, timbuktu

♪ Can't you help us find a clue ♪

♪ Where is carmen sandiego?

♪ Carmen sandiego

♪ Where on earth can she be?

♪ Where on earth can she be?

[Thunder]

[Cat meows]

[Cat meows]

[Thunder]

[Alarm rings]

[Speaking dutch]

[Dogs barking]

[Sirens wail]

[Speaking dutch]

[Gasps]

-We know it's you, carmen sandiego.

Land! At once!

-Finally, we have captured the world-famous carmen...

[Gasps] oh!

[Growls]

Sit!

[Panting]

-Good boy.

Carmen: this should be fun!

-Okay, let's bust a move, player.

Pick a detective! And this time make it good!

-Hello, player. Thanks for pickin' me.

I've got a grudge to settle with that carmen sandiego.

-Whoa! Check it out now.

[Gasp]

-The player's gmng you a partner, partner!

-Player, I can handle anything carmen throws at me

By myself.

-Ivy, ivy, ivy! You simply must learn to accessorize!

-Hey! A partner could be so right for you!

Think if wilbur didn't have orville!

-Yeah, yeah, the wright brothers

Would never have invented the first airplane.

I know. But chief...

-And do you think ... Ahhh! Duck!

[Shrieks]

-Do you think that lewis would have finished

His expedition across the u.s. If clark hadn't been

By his side, always kvetching...

-Are we there yet?

-Chief, the last thing I need is...

-Zack!? My brother zack?!

-He-e-ey, ivy! You working this case with me?

-Correction. You are working this case with me,

Little brother.

-Yo, playmeister! What's up!

-What's up, zack, is that carmen sandiego

Has stolen the eyes from a famous van gogh painting

On special exhibition in amsterdam.

-Chief, why just the eyes when she could have lifted

The whole painting?

-Well, that's what you and the boy wonder

Are going to find out.

-Okay, let's blaze, sis!

-Oh, please don't call me that, zachary.

-All right people, let's go!

If I had a life, we'd be wasting it!...

-To the scene of the crime.

The van gogh museum in amsterdam!

And to get you there muy pronto,

The player has accessed the c-five corridor.

-Oh no, no, no. No way I'm c-five-ing it

To holland, chief.

-Pssst. Hey, zack.

You know, president franklin delano roosevelt

Had a saying...

-The only thing we have to fear, is...

Fear itself.

-Yeah? Well I got a saying, too.

If it doesn't have a seatbelt and an in-flight movie,

I don't fly it.

-You know, chief, the c-five corridor

Doesn't always get us exactly where we have to go.

-So, sue me! It's got a few minor glitches.

But on the up side...

... While you travel, the player can call up

Information to help solve a case.

Now, let's blow this mother board!

-Technology! 'Ya gotta love it!

-Now, let's fly this thing from san francisco

To amsterdam!

-Okay, listen up, gumshoes.

Now that you're in the c-five corridor,

You'll be heading to northern europe.

Destination: the netherlands,

Which is sometimes called holland,

Which is sometimes called the netherlands.

-The netherlands, holland, whatever you call it,

It's the home of: wooden shoes, tulips,

And the world-famous windmills!

-And let me tell you,

This place is flat, flat as a pancake.

You wanna build a bowling alley?

Well, this is the place!

-Next stop... Amsterdam.

-Yahhhhh! I hate this part!

-Whoa...

-Whoa...

-Ugh!

-Man! The c-five did it again, ivy!

-This is definitely not the museum!

-Hey, boss! You there?

Those two teenagers from the acme detective agency

Are already here.

-Is my little "surprise" waiting for them

At the scene of the crime?

-Oh,check.

-Get out of the country, now.

-All right.

The van gogh museum is supposed to be near a canal.

-Ivy, there's over one hundred and sixty

Canals here in amsterdam.

-Zack,look!

-Hey isn't that...

-Touriste classe!

One of carmen sandiego's henchmen!

-C'mon! Slap on a brain bucket and let's go

Stamp his passport!

-Touriste is an international con man

And master art thief!

-And carmen stole the eyes off a van gogh painting!

Ivy, there's gotta be a connection!

-Look out, sis!

-Don't call me sisssss!

-Whaaa!

-Whoa!!!

[Ringtone]

[Coughing and sputtering] it's the chief!

-Attention, gumshoes.

-This just in to crime net.

Carmen sandiego's henchman, touriste classe...

Was spotted in amsterdam, right?

Thanks for the hot tip, chief.

-Ah! Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Get up on the wrong side of the web this morning

Did we, charlotte?

-Player, can you get us to the van gogh museum,

Before carmen's trail totally chills?

-Hi. We're from the acme detective agency.

Are you the curator?

-The museum is closed.

How did you get in without me hearing you?

-Don't tax your noggin'.

That's why they call 'em sneakers.

-Zack! What can you tell us about this van gogh painting?

Why carmen sandiego would just steal the eyes.

Maybe she wanted the eyes because they were

The most dramatic of any van gogh painted.

He was a...

Chief: highly emotional painter.

He used bold colors and violent brush strokes...

... Often slashing at the canvas as he painted.

Yo, yo! Vin, vinny, vinster, vinmeister!

Try the decaf, pal. You're making me nervous!

-Hey, wasn't van gogh that dude who went ballistic

And cut off his own ear?

-He was a very troubled man. Poor vincent.

He struggled his whole life in poverty and loneliness,

And though he created hundreds of paintings,

He sold only one in his lifetime.

[Sighs] look around if you like.

The police are completely baffled.

-I had the biggest nose. But I might belyin'.

-Check it out, ivy.

-But I might be lyin'.

-It's booby trapped! Hit the deck!

[Small expl*si*n]

-Get up, zack.

It's just carmen taunting us, as usual.

But it's gotta be a clue.

Player, access the computer files on "big noses."

-No. Keep going.

Mount rushmore!

-Hey! That's in south dakota.

Chief: the carved faces of washington, jefferson,

Roosevelt and lincoln took fourteen years

To complete.

-And check this out, sports fans!

Abraham lincoln was one of our tallest presidents...

...but this stone carving of him is sixty feet high!

That's nine times higher than your average

Six foot eight inch basketball player!

-You think these could be the industrial-size

Beaks carmen's talking about?

"I had the biggest nose, but I might be lyin'."

-Player, cross-reference big noses with famous liars.

Chief: pinocchio. Written by the italian author collodi

In eighteen eighty-three.

The story of a wooden puppet whose nose grew

Whenever he lied.

-I didn't lie. I was framed, I tell 'ya!

-Whoa! Push the pause button a 'sec!

Maybe we're picking the wrong noses.

-Eeooo! Zack!

-Because we're picking the wrong "lyin'."

Maybe carmen meant "lion" spelled, l-i-o-n!

-Player! Punch up famous animal lions!

-Stop! Ivy, the sphinx!

It's got the head of a man and the body of a lion.

And its nose is gone.

"I had the biggest nose, but I might be lion."

That's it!

-Yes, zack! Player, c-five us to egypt,

Home of the great sphinx.

-Whoa!

-Don't sit down, clue busters.

It's just a hop, skip, and a desert from holland to egypt!

-Ah, egypt, desert land of the nile river...

-The great pyramids, and the incredible sphinx!

At sixty-six feet high and

Two hundred and forty feet long...

-This kitty could cough up a furball

Big enough to take out egypt's capitol city,

Cairo, nine miles away!

-That is, if it could get past the great pyramid,

Next door.

-Who gave it the bogus nose job, chief?

-Legend has it an army might have once

Used the sphinx for target practice.

-Yeah, gives a whole new meaning to the term

"Blowing your nose", huh?

-Next stop, the great sphinx!

-Carmen's henchmen!

I don't think she's stealing the sphinx at all.

The clue was just a trap!

-Great. We're about to become history

On a piece of history.

-Whoa! Oh.... Ugh!... Umph!

-Nice going, barishnikov.

-Hey, they're back there!

-Yeah! Get her!

[Grunts, exertion]

-Ahh... [Strains] ugh!!

[Exclamations of exertion]

[Gasp!]

-Aaaaahh!

[Exclamations] -zaaaack!!

Hang on, ivy!

-Ahhh... [Screams]

-Don't you know you're not supposed to hitchhike?

-We can't out-run them with the two of us

On this hovercraft!

-Trust me. We could outrun those dorf-buds

On an anorexic turtle!

-Whoa!!!

-Whoa!!!

[Zack laughs]

-Zack! Where did you learn to drive?!

-Relax! The sahara's the biggest desert in the world.

With almost three and a half million square miles of sand,

The only thing I'm gonna hit is warp speed!

-Hey! Look what that henchman had in his pocket!

Pesetas!

-Yeah, and marbles don't float in ketchup.

So what?

-So, sometimes I can actually hear your mind

Come to a grinding halt, little bro'.

Pesetas are spanish currency. We're in egypt!

-What? You mean, carmen sent those three stooges

From spain?!

-Which is where I'll bet she is right now.

Hey, there's something written on this one.

-It says, "let's go cave."

"Let's go surfin'," and "let's go to the movies,"

I know. But what does, "let's go cave" mean?

-Go ahead, chief!

Hot tip, gumshoes!

-Whaaaa!!

-Umph!

-Carmen sandiego has robbed another museum!

-Now, don't tell me. In spain, right, chief?

-Ooh! Muy bien, senorita ivy!

Yes, she stole the nose from the

"Portrait of jaime sabartes as a spanish grandee,"

By pablo picasso, one of the most famous painters

Of the twentieth century.

-Ivy, carmen's ripped off van gogh's eyes

And now a picasso nose! What do you wanna bet

She's scoping out a famous mouth right about now?

-But why? And what mouth, and where"?

-Hello! Anybody home? -Huh?!

-Do a few cerebrum sit-ups, ivy.

Who's got the most famous smile in the world?

-Hmm... Tom cruise.

-No. From a famous painting.

-The mona lisa has one of the most famous

Painted smiles of all time!

Oh! She's after the mona lisa!

-Zack, you are a genius!

-Ah, yes I am.

Now, if I only knew where the mona lisa was.

Player!

-Ask and you shall receive.

-You're c-five-ing it from egypt to paris, france!

-Ah paris! [Pronounced "pair- ee"]

It is, of course,

Where you will see the eiffel tower, the louvre museum,

Home of the mona lisa.

-Ah, the mona lisa!

What?! You?!

-Hey!!

-A perfect fit.

-Ahhhhh...

-Hold it right there!

-Uh-oh!

-Let's go!

[Chuckles]

-There they are!

[Exertion]

-Say goodnight, geekwad!

[Struggling wallas]

[Gasps]

-Ah! My favorite detectives.

[Muffled cries]

[Muffled struggling protests]

"Pretend we're statues. He'll never see us!"

What were you thinking?

-I thought we'd blend right in.

-Oh, sure, all two thousand year-old statues

Wear high-tops and jeans!

-Hey, I didn't hear you come up with anything better, sis.

-How many times have I told you?

[Umph]

[Strain] don't... Call... Me... Sis!!

[Gulps] okay, okay, you made your point.

-Good, zack!

-Carmen's stolen a pair of eyes from a van gogh painting,

A nose from a picasso, and the mouth from ffle mona lisa.

-Pieces of masterpieces ...

...instead of the whole painting.

Like she's collecting ingredients to bake a cake.

[Ringtone]

-Come in, chief!

-Hot tip! Carmen's now stolen the television airwaves

For the entire world. Don't ask me how she did it.

She's broadcasting her own tv show!

-Heeerre's carmen!

-I've proven that I'm the world's greatest thief

Time-after-time.

-What's that? On the wall behind carmen?

-Player, can you enhance those cave drawings?

-Now I have stolen the best parts from

The world's greatest paintings and put them all together.

Chief: check it out! Those pictures were painted

On cave walls somewhere between ten thousand

And forty thousand years ago,

And the kid's still grounded.

-Player! Where's that cave carmen's beaming from?

-That cave, that particular cave?

Zack, buddy, loosen the brain filter.

There's caves all over the world with paintings

On their walls.

-But, chief! Carmen was just in paris.

And chances are she's still close by.

-Okay, that I can live with.

There are three famous caves in france.

The pech-merle cave, the niaux cave,

And the lascaux cave.

-Wait a minute. The peseta.

-It said "let's go cave!"

-But it didn't mean, "let's go cave."

It meant lascaux cave!

-Then, let's go to lascaux! Book it, player!

-Now, I will unveil my masterpiece for you...

And then I'll keep it forever in my private art museum.

-Ivy, come on! We can get the painting

And capture carmen at the same time.

-Cool your jets a second, zack.

We can't take on all those henchmen single-handedly.

But with this marker and those bats,

We may just come out of this on top.

-How are those bats going to help?

They're "nocturnal" creatures.

-So they're not too keen on light then,huh?

-Right!

[Bats shrieking]

-Let's do it!

-Remove these bats immediately!

-We're trying, carmen.

There must be a million of them!

-Go on. b*at it!! Get outta here!

[Gasps & coughing]

-Touriste! Get my masterpiece!

[Grunts]

[Coughing]

-Carmen's getting away!

-Those detectives have only managed to delay

The moment I will unveil my masterpiece to the world.

-Yes, I've got it right here, carmen. Ha-ha.

Safe and sound.

-Well, I guess we showed carmen this time.

-Did you do something totally ingenious, ivy?

-Whaaaaat??!!!

-I did a little art work of my own.

-Touche!

-She sh**t...

...she scores!

-Yes! I guess we make a pretty hot team after all,

Huh, little bro.

-Ah, you can log me in as your partner any time, si--

... I mean ivy.

-Thanks, zack. Now let's backtrack our steps

And restore three masterpieces.

♪ Where is carmen sandiego?

♪ Carmen sandiego?

♪ Where on earth can she be?

♪ Where is carmen sandiego?

♪ Carmen sandiego?

♪ Where on earth can she be?

♪ Where on earth can she be?