03x03 - No Time for F... Chemistry

[bunniefuu]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

[COUGHING]

♪

[GROANS]

f*cking pond.

I know. Isn't it great?

I'm beginning to think

this one's a little touched.

You just noticed?

Guys, quit f*cking around.

This is serious.

Don't worry. The chop looks good.

Just stand there, look pretty.

I'll do the talking.

It looked good in our basement.

But ripping off Happy Jack

is a different f*cking story.

If this deal goes sideways,

I'm f*cking blaming you.

If this goes sideways, it won't matter.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

I hope you Chinamen didn't

come to us for credit.

Because you put me

in a very difficult position

the last time you asked me

to hold onto your sh*t.

We had a minor cash flow issue.

And we very much appreciate

you holding on to our product for us

He ain't interested

in your appreciation.

You got our money?

[SPEAKING CANTONESE]

This covers our last order

and our next one,

plus a little extra for your trouble.

What are you doing here, Chao?

Hmm?

You're running with the Hop Wei now?

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪

I make investment.

Investments?

[CHUCKLES]

Things must be worse than I thought.

[LAUGHS]

Like I said, a minor cash flow issue.

The cops are squeezing us.

We have it all worked out now.

♪

They're straight.

[SIGHS]

I guess you do.

Give these men their product.

[DRAMATIC SPAGHETTI WESTERN MUSIC]

♪

[HORSE SNORTS, WHINNIES]

Douglas.

You're back.

The work is never done, it seems.

Was there a problem with your wine?

I wasn't expecting

to see you again so soon.

No, not at all.

It might be your best vintage yet.

I just came by to see

if you'd reconsidered my offer.

I thought I made my position clear.

You did, you did, but

I wouldn't be where I am today

without believing

there's always a deal to be made.

I couldn't help noticing you have

a lot of Chinese girls working here.

What of it?

Well, it's just that some folks

not me, mind you

but some folks around here

might surmise that this place

was some kind of brothel.

But not you.

Of course, you're quite

familiar with the genuine article.

[SCOFFS]

I blame the politicians.

They've got everyone all riled up

with this Page Act business.

Well, you know me.

I never much cared what other

people think, least of all politicians.

On that, we can agree.

But nevertheless, if the government

caught wind of what's happening here

Oh, I have a dozen San Francisco police

who will testify on my behalf.

They helped me liberate these girls.

Of course.

I read all about it in the "Register."

Nellie Davenport,

savior of Chinatown's whores.

I just wonder

what they'd make of you now,

sharing your bed with one.

[TENSE GUITAR MUSIC]

♪

It's a reasonable offer.

Get the hell off my land.

♪

So this cop knows

you're wanted for m*rder.

And instead of arresting you,

he wants to deputize you.

That's the gist of it.

Must be nice to be white.

You're not considering it, are you?

You're considering it.

If I help him, we can finally

stop looking over our shoulders.

Have you looked in a mirror lately?

As long as we're together, honey,

we're always gonna be

looking over our shoulders.

You said that you wanted

to stay in San Francisco.

This is how we do it.

No more bounty hunters.

And a cop living in my bar?

How do you think that's gonna play?

That badge isn't just bad for business.

It's bad for you.

The last thing I want to do

is go back to Chinatown.

But if there's even half a chance

I can buy us a future, I have to try.

The att*ck on Li Yong was

a desperate act of cowardice

by Muchen.

But thanks to Kong Pak, his plot failed.

The surviving members

of the Three Brothers tong

will be sworn in soon.

These men betrayed us.

How can we ensure their loyalty?

Kong Pak, you know these men.

What do you think?

Muchen ruled by fear.

Now that he's gone,

his hatchets will fall in line.

Then we'll proceed as planned.

But I'd like you to keep an eye on them.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪

Not the sort of dress you usually wear.

It was a gift from Eliza.

She invited me to an art gallery.

You're starting to spend

a lot of time in the pond.

Just enough time

to look after our interests.

It's a risk.

But a calculated one.

I should come with you.

You're not safe out there alone.

It's not a meeting with a rival tong.

I'll be fine.

Besides, your presence

will only make it harder

to gain their trust.

Agent Moseley.

I take it you know Mr. Lee?

Only by reputation,

which does you no favors.

Coming from this outfit,

I take that as a compliment, sir.

If you're done fawning over each other,

maybe you could do us a favor

and round up the Chinatown squad

Chief?

Yes, sir.

Agent Moseley has tracked

the counterfeiting operation

- to San Francisco.

- [SIGHS]

We have reason to believe

the men running it

are headquartered in Chinatown.

Which is why we'd like your squad

to test the local currency

as you make your rounds.

A single drop is all it takes

to ferret out a fake.

If the bill is legal tender,

the iodine won't leave a mark.

We're trying to keep the chinks

from slaughtering one another.

There's no time for f*cking chemistry.

Those payoffs you're taking

could be counterfeit too.

So you'd be doing yourself a favor.

Would you mind repeating that?

Which word didn't you understand?

You sh*t-sucking son of a bitch.

- Come on.

- Thank you, gentlemen.

We'll keep your concerns in mind.

Now, if there's nothing more,

my men have work to do.

You told me you were done

with police work.

I was.

I will be again,

as soon as this is over.

So what's the plan?

Besides insulting my men.

Moseley says

the original crew was buying

weapons from a Chinaman.

I figured I'd start by paying

a visit to Mr. Wang Chao.

Well, Chao is not

much of a fan of yours.

Oh, maybe I should come along

and help smooth things over.

I appreciate that, but

that might muddy the waters.

I need to do this my way, Bill.

Well

well, in that case [CLEARS THROAT]

Stay safe, Agent Lee.

Afraid I can't promise that.

Well, then just for f*ck's sake,

stay alive, huh?

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪

[GRUNTS]

That's that's all of it.

"Thank you." You're welcome.

For what?

Forcing me to work for you?

Hey, do I need to remind you

that you came to us?

[SCOFFS] Yeah, to get you

up and running,

not to join your g*ng.

Look,

I get it, but you don't need to worry.

We protect our own.

You know, one of you said

the exact same thing to my father.

We missed one payment, and you b*at him.

That wasn't me.

You wear the same suit.

[SIGHS]

That

yeah, that never should have happened.

I know it might not mean much,

but I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

Come find me when you're done.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

♪

Can you imagine living in a log cabin

with nothing but dirt for a floor?

Nothing to relieve yourself

into but a wooden bucket?

Actually, I can.

Sorry. God, I must sound so entitled.

Not at all.

Just American.

Is the artist here?

Who knows?

Nobody comes here for the art.

They come here to see and be seen.

And to drink.

Thank you.

Gosh, it feels like I'm the

one hanging on the wall.

[SCOFFS] Don't mind them.

They're just jealous.

You wear that dress

better than they ever could.

Well, dear,

if you wanted to cause a stir,

you've certainly done it.

Not my intention.

But a nice fringe benefit. [BOTH LAUGH]

Mai Ling, this is my husband, Bernard.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Pleasure is mine.

Eliza hasn't stopped

talking about you all week.

She says you're quite

the business woman.

I've made some good investments.

But hardly the sort that would impress

a banker of your stature.

Your firm finances some of the largest

construction projects in the city.

You've done your research.

May I say your English is flawless?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, yours isn't too bad either.

[BOTH LAUGH]

You did not tell me she was funny.

She's funny. [LAUGHS]

Cheers.

It looks like Eliza Pendleton

has a new project.

Gentlemen.

You know her?

The Chinese girl? No.

But Eliza's always been

determined to seem

just this side of the avant-garde.

Miss Archer, wasn't it?

I'm flattered you remembered.

Since I imagine you misplaced my card,

or is there some other reason

you haven't called on me?

I thought you were simply being polite.

[LAUGHS]

When you get to know me,

you'll realize I'm rarely,

if ever, polite.

[LAUGHTER]

I can't wait to watch you knock

that smug bastard on his ass.

That makes two of us.

I mean, the whole

"man of the people" routine

is getting stale, don't you think?

Well, I think I've had

about all the culture

I can stand for one day.

I recommend you call on me

soon, Mr. Buckley,

or else I might decide

you don't like me,

and then I'll become intolerable.

♪

And you can prove this?

Given the amount of money in

that envelope, it shouldn't matter.

But yes.

We've got two witnesses who can put

Thayer's brother-in-law

in a Chinese opium den

as recently as last week.

A real scandal, if it were to come out.

The story will play better

if I can bring them in,

ask a few questions.

For obvious reasons,

these men wish to remain anonymous.

However, in the interest

of due diligence,

everything is there.

Quotes, dates, and times.

I was thinking for the headline,

"Thayer Campaign, Up In Smoke."

You're the professional.

Evening, Mr. Strickland.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

Name's Dylan Leary.

I need a quick word.

Leary.

Champion of the workingman.

I hear you've been causing quite a stir

down at City Council.

I'm here on behalf of Leonard Pierce.

[CHUCKLES]

So now the City Council has

got you breaking legs for them,

is that it?

I don't doubt you're

a dangerous man, Mr. Leary.

But if Pierce went to all the

trouble to pay you to thr*aten me,

I would at least think he

told you I never travel alone.

It must have slipped his mind.

That's too bad.

Either way, I hope

it's becoming clear to you,

I'm not the man you thr*aten, Mr. Leary.

I'm the man with whom you make a deal.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪

Come on.

Let's have a chat.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

♪

So this is what gangsters do for fun?

You know, when they're not

b*ating up old men.

Well, actually, I have many interests.

Sometimes I b*at up young men.

Oh, how sweet.

I'm done printing.

The bills will be dry in the morning.

Great. I'll walk you home.

Uh, thank you.

Actually, I think I'll just

take my payment and go.

Well, I need to pat you down first.

Young Jun's orders.

They have trust issues.

Arms up.

Just, um

Mm-hmm.

Okay, all good.

Yeah.

- There you go.

- Thanks.

Have a good night.

You have fun playing with your wood.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

You were in the cavalry?

Served under Sheridan

in the Army of the Potomac.

Fightin' Phil Sheridan?

The man's a f*cking legend.

[CHUCKLES] He certainly thought so.

We used to call him Little Phil

behind his back.

He was so short,

he could scratch his own ankles

without stooping over.

[LAUGHS]

Did you serve?

88th Infantry, Irish brigade.

The Fearless Sons of Erin.

You gave those Rebels hell.

They sent a few of us there too.

My boy, Louis, fell at

the Battle of Sailors' Creek.

I lost his mother in childbirth, and

at the time, I remember thinking

I'd suffered the worst pain

life has to offer.

Turns out I was wrong.

Every day of the w*r,

I prayed to make it home to my boys.

And I did

so the pox could take 'em.

If there is a God,

he has a sick sense of humor.

He's a f*cking prick is what he is.

You and I know the price

this country demands.

We've paid it tenfold for the freedom

to build something of our own.

Men like Pierce and his cronies

will never understand that.

They were born into wealth.

They've sacrificed nothing.

I earned every dime I ever made.

From where I'm sitting,

you don't look so different.

On the surface, maybe.

But I don't think the way they do.

They see you as a thug,

someone to do their dirty work.

I see something else.

And what's that?

A political powerhouse.

The voice of the Irish.

But what good is that voice

if nobody listens?

You twist some arms, you get

five Irish hired here, ten there.

- And their families eat.

- Yes, but nothing has changed.

You're thinking too small.

The problem you face is systemic.

It's built into the economics

of the country.

If you want to change that,

you need the kind of political capital

that comes with real power.

Otherwise, you'll end up

a washed-up gangster

with nothing but your noble intentions

to show for your troubles.

These are f*cked-up times.

The bulls are in our bowl.

The Long Zii are puffing up

their chests.

f*ck the Long Zii! [LAUGHTER]

It's been tough.

I won't deny it.

But we're the m*therf*cking Hop Wei!

[ALL CHEERING]

And there aren't enough cops

in San Francisco

to stop us from running our business.

[CROWD SHOUTING]

We're back in the molasses game

stronger than ever.

[CROWD LAUGHING AND CHEERING]

So get drunk.

Get sticky.

Yeah! [ALL CHEERING]

Because tomorrow,

we get back to being the baddest

f*cking tong in Chinatown!

[ALL CHEERING]

Your boss seems happy.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Yeah.

But you're not.

Printing was supposed to be a solution,

not the solution.

We should be using the chop

to buy more soldiers, not

not booze and whores.

Then you better hurry.

Why?

Cash won't matter if there

aren't any soldiers left to buy.

Mai Ling just absorbed another tong.

How is she making moves

when we're out here fighting for scraps?

How doesn't matter.

What matters is that Mai Ling

is building an army.

She won't come directly at us again.

Not with this much heat in the streets.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Doesn't seem like she's

all that bothered by the heat.

Does it?

♪

[DRAMATIC GUITAR MUSIC]

♪

[GRUNTS]

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

[SIGHS]

You know, if it weren't

for the tailored suits,

I'd almost believe

this whole poultry setup.

Former Officer Lee.

I thought you were

Barbary Coast problem now.

Not a lot of room in here

for contraband, Chao.

Chinatown squad make

business bad for Chao.

Turn over new leaf.

Good.

Then you won't mind

if I ask you a few questions.

Too bad.

I almost like you for a second.

I'm looking into

a counterfeiting operation.

Somebody printing American greenbacks,

possibly here in Chinatown.

What I know about printing money?

I have a witness,

part of the original

counterfeiting crew,

says a Chinese man sold weapons

to his partners

down at the docks

shortly before they were robbed.

And you think this Chao?

Given what I know about you,

I'd be foolish not to ask.

You're foolish either way.

[LAUGHS]

Look, I'm not a cop anymore.

I work for the government.

I can do things differently.

Different how?

You give me something useful,

you get paid.

And I make sure you stay out of jail.

New badge, new rules.

Sound like old rule for snitch.

I'm just asking you to point me

in the right direction.

Exit that way.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪

[INDISTINCT CROWD CHATTER]

♪

Took you guys long enough.

I've been wandering

around your territory

for, like, 20 minutes.

Yeah, we knew.

We just didn't care.

Ah. [CHUCKLES]

Right, so you're the funny one.

Which one of you's the smart one?

None of you. Got it.

Enough.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪

Hey, sis.

I think my men are still

itchy about the other day.

Oh, you mean

when you almost started a w*r

by setting up shop in our backyard?

It was an honest mistake.

Hop Wei territory is

shrinking by the day.

Hard to know who owns what anymore.

Yeah, tough times all around

for everyone but you.

Your point?

Well, there are no bulls here.

No shutdowns or raids,

and you're parading around

like the queen of Chinatown

while everyone else suffers.

It's a big world, Ah Sahm.

Opportunities everywhere.

Oh, my God.

Do you have any idea

do you have any idea

how arrogant you sound?

And you sound like a sore loser.

[GROANS]

Listen, I don't know

who you made a deal with,

but it's only a matter of time

before it blows up in your face,

and when it does,

Hop Wei will be

the least of your worries.

The Hop Wei are the least of my worries.

Ever since Young Jun took over,

he's been doing my work for me.

All I have to do is wait.

- Hmm.

- Hmm.

Ah Sahm.

You don't have to go down with him.

I mean that.

Don't worry.

I won't.

♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

This man, he was friends

with your husband?

[CHUCKLES]

I don't think

Douglas Strickland has friends.

But he convinced Fred to invest

in his construction business

just as the city was taking off.

And they made a fortune together.

And now he want your land.

You know, he used to want me too.

I don't think he ever

got over the rejection.

At least he have good taste.

[LAUGHS]

He can do this?

Don't worry.

Douglas likes to puff out his chest,

but he knows my lawyers can

tie him up for years.

He'll find another route

for his railroad.

Hey, I won't let anything

happen to our girls.

And what if he still want you?

I didn't take you for the jealous type.

Not jealous.

You too make very handsome couple.

[LAUGHS] Shut up.

He look like he make good baby.

[LAUGHS]

♪

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Take this back to your family, okay?

Here you go.

Take it back to your family.

Here you go.

Don't spend it all at once.

All right, take this back

to your mommy, okay?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪

Hey.

What's going on?

Just helping out a few places

that got hit by the ordinances.

Thank you.

I figure the sooner they're

back up and running, the better.

Check out what he gave me, guys.

It's a pipe!

Huh.

Since when do you smoke a pipe, Hong?

Since right f*cking now, I guess.

- What's up?

- Nothing.

I just thought we were being careful.

We are.

Muscle and molasses.

That's what we agreed on.

Not flooding the street with fake chop.

Okay, so you don't want me

roughing up old men,

and you don't want me

giving them money either.

I guess I don't know

what the f*ck I'm doing,

- do I?

- That's not what I'm saying.

Oh, really?

'Cause it sounded like

you were calling me out.

Hey, guys, come on. Take it easy.

I'm not out here swinging my d*ck,

for no reason, man.

I'm washing the money.

Businesses buy inventory

with the chop that I give them.

Customers buy their sh*t,

and real money flows

back into our pockets.

And if a few f*cking onions

think I'm God's gift,

even better.

Get me?

f*ck, man.

I know you're trying to help,

but let me handle the big picture sh*t,

all right?

You just make sure

that girl keeps printing.

Because right now,

that's all that matters.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪

How'd we do today?

Same as yesterday.

I can only go so fast with six plates.

I thought you might be hungry.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Those those are gonna

be some good ones. I can tell.

[SIGHS]

These are terrible.

What? No.

Those are the best dumplings

in Chinatown.

Yeah, maybe if you grew up on a farm.

I did grow up on a farm.

That explains a lot.

You have something against farms?

No, I have something

against these dumplings.

I gotta get something else.

Well, then I need

to come with you, so

if there's some top-secret

dumpling spot, I need to know.

Okay, suit yourself.

[ERHU PLAYING]

♪

Hmm.

My father used to tell us this

one at bedtime. Do you know it?

I didn't really have bedtime

stories growing up, you know?

That's Lei Gong, God of Thunder.

Jade Emperor knew

that he was an angry god.

So he gave him an axe

and taught him how to conjure thunder.

But the problem was,

when he made his thunder,

the skies got dark and he couldn't

always see what he was doing.

One day, there was

a young girl named Dianmu

throwing rice into the river.

In his blind rage,

Lei Gong accidentally struck her down.

He'd k*lled an innocent girl.

And Jade Emperor was furious.

So he resurrected Dianmu,

making her this powerful goddess.

And as punishment,

Lei Gong had to marry her

so she could help him.

And she held mirrors in the sky,

making lightning so he could see.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

And that is why lightning

always comes before thunder.

So it has a happy ending.

- How is that happy?

- Well, think about it.

I mean, a love story. Mm.

She made the thunder monster better.

Better at k*lling.

And it's not like she had

a choice in the matter either.

[CHUCKLES]

Nobody gets a choice.

Or maybe you just don't like

the choice you made.

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪

I saw you at the riot.

You came in like some avenging angel.

Here to save us.

But then you come to my shop

with Young Jun to collect,

and

[SCOFFS]

I realized you're not an angel

or a warrior.

You're just

some hatchet man.

♪

Sorry to let you down.

Well, maybe it's not too late.

[SIGHS]

For what?

For you to choose differently.

[SWINGING PIANO MUSIC]

You sing, you dance ♪

You love to romance ♪

You seem to know

just what it's all about ♪

Ooh, baby, you knock me out ♪

When you roll your eyes,

I seem hypnotized ♪

Everything you do thrills me

through and through ♪

So if that's the way,

then I have to say ♪

I'll always be loving you ♪

You kiss ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]

You smile, and yes ♪

I'll always love you,

but I'm still in doubt ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Ooh, baby, you knock me out ♪

- Is this your room?

- Mm-hmm.

♪

- [MOANS]

- [LAUGHS]

♪

[GASPING]

Oh.

Oh, f*ck.

Okay, is the pipe authentic

or an affectation?

What's an affectation?

[LAUGHS]

Well, you seem pretty fresh.

How long ago did you cross?

A few months ago.

To be a hatchet man?

No.

I've been in a tong ever since

my father kicked me out.

I was 14.

Where's your family?

My mom was indentured

to a commodore in the Royal Navy.

He traveled a lot, so we did too.

After she d*ed,

he didn't have any use for me.

Been on my own ever since.

It must be hard to be alone

in all those places.

It's different for artists, I think.

We're more accepting than most.

Besides, you can't be an immigrant

if you never stay in one place.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[GRUNTING]

- Oh, hang on!

- Oh!

- [BOTH LAUGHING]

- Ow.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

♪

Leary, I've been waiting

to hear from you.

Did you speak with Mr. Strickland?

- We spoke.

- And?

Didn't go your way.

What the hell's that supposed to mean?

Hey! I asked you a question.

Ah, God!

God!

This isn't your house, you pasty f*ck.

It's mine.

And when you're in my house,

you show me some f*cking respect.

Oh, son of a bitch!

I'll have you arrested.

I suppose you need a cop, then.

Owen, get over here.

What's the problem?

This man att*cked me.

Hmm?

Any witnesses?

What do you mean?

Of course there are witnesses.

Mm-mm-mm.

I won't forget this.

[EXHALES]

That was the intention.

[PIANO MUSIC RESUMES]

♪

Here you go.

Well, thanks for walking me home.

You really didn't have to.

No, I no, I did.

I'm supposed to keep

an eye on you, remember?

Right.

So I guess you gotta frisk me too, then.

Uh, oh uh, yeah. [CLEARS THROAT]

[GENTLE MUSIC]

♪

Just [CLEARS THROAT]

♪

You're good.

Well, good night, then.

♪

Good night.

[SIGHS]

♪

[SIGHS]

Girls are going to bed.

Dinner is all cleaned up.

Just you and me now.

You must be tired.

I am.

But the good kind, you know?

I'm gonna draw a bath, I think.

Mm.

Good idea.

[DOG BARKING]

- [CLATTERING]

- [DOGS BARKING]

[FIRE CRACKLING]

Hey, go to that field.

Get g*n.

Go, go!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪

Huh? [GRUNTING]

The fields. Go.

Put her down.

[GRUNTS]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪

[g*n COCKS]

[WOMEN SCREAMING]

[g*nshots]

[FLAMES WHOOSHING]

[SCREAMING]

[WHIMPERING]

♪

[GRUNTING]

♪

[g*nf*re]

[WOMEN WHIMPERING]

- [SPEAKING CANTONESE]

- Get up, bitch!

[g*nsh*t]

[GRUNTING]

[g*nshots]

[SCREAMS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

♪

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[CHOKING]

[SHOUTING]

[SCREAMING]

[BOTH GRUNT]

[SHOUTING IN CANTONESE]

[GROANING]

[WOMEN SHOUTING]

[COUGHING]

[WOMEN SHOUTING]

[GROANING]

[WHIP CRACKS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SHOUTS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

- [BONE SNAPS]

- [SCREAMING]

♪

[SCREAMS]

[COUGHING]

[GRUNTING]

[STEEL CLASHING]

[GROANING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

♪

[BOTH GROWL]

Shaw, let's go!

We've been here too long!

[LAUGHS]

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪

[RAPPING IN CHINESE LANGUAGE]

[AVA KING'S "SISTER SAY NO"]

♪

All of my girl, girl, girls ♪

[RAPPING IN CHINESE LANGUAGE]

Say no, no, no ♪

Nuh-uh, nuh-uh ♪

[RAPPING IN CHINESE LANGUAGE]

♪

So I say no ♪

[RAPPING IN CHINESE LANGUAGE]

♪

All of my girl, girl, girls ♪

[RAPPING IN CHINESE LANGUAGE]

Say no, no, no ♪

Nuh-uh, nuh-uh ♪

No ♪

No ♪

No, no ♪