Memorial High?
That's the worst school
in the whole city.
'A teacher was
stabbed there last week.'
Oh, certainly
no prep school.
Hmm.
But there are
some rays of hope.
Sometimes, sometimes I think
if you can touch one kid
it makes it all worthwhile.
Yeah.
Steal it.
Are you crazy?
That's against the law.
Big deal.
It's just a little yo-yo.
- But I--
- So take it.
I dare you.
[indistinct chattering]
Look, you're crossin'
this point.
Are you playin' or not?
Is there anything
you'd like to talk about?
Maybe I can help.
Sometimes it makes things
a little better
if you talk about 'em.
There's nothing to say.
Nicholas?
You caught him doing what?
Well, I don't understand it.
I mean, Nicholas
has never stolen anything
before in his life.
Okay! Okay! Okay!
Leave! Just let him go!
- Will you just leave--
- Now, what's it to you, lady?
Why don't you just, uh,
get out of the hall
and stop terrorizing people,
okay?
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic in the early
morning we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles
on everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ Oh eight is enough
to fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days like
bright and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled
by the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
(Nancy)
'Don't keep us in
suspense any longer, Abby.'
(Joannie)
'Come on, Abby, tell us.'
- 'Yeah.'
- 'Alright.'
Well, tell us, Abby.
What is it?
Really, what's the big surprise?
Hey! I want champagne.
No way.
Is it animal,
vegetable or mineral?
Well, it's none of the above.
I got a job.
- Oh! To Professor Bradford.
- Thank you.
What college?
Lincoln or Chapman?
(Abby)
'Well, it's not
exactly a college?'
What do you mean?
It's not exactly teaching?
I'm gonna be
a guidance counselor.
Oh, you--
[cheering]
Thank you.
At Memorial High.
Memorial High?
That's the worst school
in the whole city.
A teacher was
stabbed there last week.
I know, but I need a job.
But you're overqualified.
You're a PhD.
You're trained
to teach in college.
You'll find a job.
Tom, they're
not hiring in colleges.
- They're laying off.
- They'll hire again.
Sure, if another baby boom
gets under way tonight.
They'll be hiring
in about years.
But, Abby..
I take that back.
Make it years.
I'm scared for you.
I don't want you in the middle
of a potentially
violent situation.
- I can handle it.
- 'Are you sure?'
I'm sure.
Well, that makes one of us.
[instrumental music]
Uh, uh. Hold it
right there, mister.
- You can't leave the house.
- Why not?
Well, you don't have
your wallet, do you?
Jeremy had it.
I found it on the floor. Honest.
- We didn't say you--
- Let me see that again.
[indistinct chattering]
I didn't know
I had a funny wallet.
No, dad,
the wallet's just amusing.
It's the picture on the license.
- Oh!
- Dad, it's hysterical.
- Dad, it's expired.
- Yup.
- What?
- Yeah.
It expired
on your last birthday, dad.
That's right. It did.
I'll have to get it renewed.
Aah! But first you're going
to have to take the test.
And you won't be a legal driver
till you pass that.
Which means I get the car.
Oh, come on,
I don't think one more day
of being a fugitive from the law
is gonna make any difference.
Now, come on, dad.
You wouldn't allow one of us
to break the law, would you?
Yeah, you have to set
a good example.
Come on,
I'll drive you to work.
Look at it this way, dad.
You get a chance
at another picture.
Only this time, don't make
a face when they sh**t it.
I didn't make a face
the first time.
Ahem!
[instrumental music]
You're such a grump.
What's buggin' you today?
My dad said
no go on the yo-yo.
Did you tell him
it was a deluxe cosmic spinner?
Yeah, then he said something
about this deluxe
cosmic inflation.
Hey, look, what I found
at my dad's dresser last night.
A fire cr*cker.
It's a leftover
from the fourth of July.
I should get a bunch of 'em.
What are you gonna do with it?
I don't know.
Light it off, maybe.
Okay, Marvin, I dare you.
Now?
No, I-I, I think
I'll save it.
You're too scared?
Well, why don't you do it?
Because I dared you first
and besides,
I won the last dare.
'It's your turn.'
I don't know.
I knew you were too scared.
Plug your ears, Nicholas.
...your books.
- What happened?
- Must have been too old.
Let's get out of here.
Oh, excuse me.
If I were you,
I would start ridin' the bus.
You see, a car like that
shouldn't be parked around here.
Why?
Because they steal the hubcaps?
Oh, lady,
are you from the Dark Ages?
These days they leave hubcaps.
They just steal cars.
Oh. I'm Abby Bradford.
I'm the new guidance counselor.
Hi, I'm Jackie Calhoun.
Senior English.
Nice to meet you. So what do you
do? You take the bus?
- No, dear, I ride my hubcaps.
- Mm-hmm.
Look, I got a few minutes.
Um, I'll show you around.
Okay, thank you.
You know, we don't get
so many PhDs at Memorial.
What did you get
your doctorate in?
- Education.
- Oh.
Well, m*llitary tactics
might come in handy in here.
Come on, Jackie.
Is it really that bad?
Oh, it's certainly
no prep school.
Hmm.
But there are some rays of hope.
Sometimes, sometimes I think
if you can touch one kid
it makes it all worthwhile.
Yeah.
Uh, tell me, what do you do
if there's any trouble?
Um...well,
the second best policy
is to try and maintain a
cool head, and stay in control.
Hmm.
And the first best policy is..
A brown belt in Karate.
No, you're teasing.
Here is your office,
Dr. Bradford.
'I have got to get to class.'
Jackie, what about
the other counsel?
'What happened to her?'
You mean, you don't know?
No. What?
[sighs]
She was...she was stabbed.
[instrumental music]
Well, she's the one--
[bell ringing]
Uh, look,
I've got to get to class.
Abby, good luck.
'Come on, you'll do fine.'
- Thanks.
- Bye-bye.
Okay.
[instrumental music]
(Marvin)
'How long do you think
it'll take you'
'to save up
for a cosmic spinner?'
Forever.
From what I hear about
inflation these days
by the time I save up enough
money, they'll raise the price.
You could go in the store
and cop one.
- Huh?
- Steal it.
Are you crazy?
That's against the law.
Big deal.
It's just a little yo-yo.
You do want one, don't you?
- Yeah, but I--
- So take it.
I dare you.
- You're crazy.
- Oh, yeah?
Well, I did your dare
this mornin'
and it was more dangerous,
so now it's your turn.
Unless, of course,
you're too chicken.
- I'm not chicken.
- Then prove it.
Okay.
(Abby)
Hi, Jackie.
You want me to see someone?
Her name is Michelle Davis
and she's new here.
But she seems terrified, frozen.
She hardly talks at all,
and she just sits there
lost in her own little world.
That's just what you needed
on your first day, huh?
Maybe it's just what I need.
When can I see her?
She's out in the hall.
Trick..
- Okay, send her in.
- Okay.
Michelle, come on in.
Dr. Bradford, this is Michelle.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Come on in. Sit down.
[Abby clears throat]
Is there anything
you'd like to talk about?
'Maybe I can help.'
Sometimes it makes things
a little better
if you talk about 'em.
'I'm a really good listener.'
There's nothing to say.
Well, I'll listen anyway.
What were you gonna say?
Nothing.
[instrumental music]
Don't take all day, Nicholas.
(male # )
'Something I can help
you with, young man?'
Uh...nothin'.
We, we were, um,
we were, we were just looking.
Yeah, lookin'.
Well, I gotta go.
Uh...ni-ni-nice
talkin' to you.
[clamoring]
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Hi, dad.
Oh.
Elizabeth.
Did you get home alright?
Yeah, well, sure, dad.
What's the big deal?
Didn't you forget something?
No, I don't think so.
- Like what?
- Like me.
Oh, dad, I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.
I guess I just got involved
with my errands.
How'd you get home?
Well, I called here
and nobody answered
so I took the bus home.
You came home on the bus?
No, not really
because I got on the wrong bus.
When I realized it,
I got off the wrong bus
and I got on the right bus.
Only it was going
in the wrong direction.
'So I got off
and I got on the right bus'
going in the right direction.
Only it was an express
and I was held prisoner
all the way to the airport,
so I took a cab home.
I'm sorry, dad.
I promise it won't happen again.
Oh, that's right,
it won't happen again
because tomorrow
I'm takin' the driver's exam
and getting
my driver's license back.
And my car.
(Tom)
'Abby.'
Hi.
I know I'm late, but isn't it
a little early for bed?
Oh, Tom, I'm worn out.
It was a long day.
Huh? You're telling me.
- How did it go at school?
- It was, it was okay.
You sure? You alright?
Hmm. I'm just tired.
It was fine.
Oh, I'm glad.
I was worried
about you all day.
No, don't worry about me.
It's just gonna
take time to adjust, that's all.
I don't know.
This little, old lady on the bus
said that she was afraid
to walk by Memorial.
And then the stewardess told me
that she's paying the tuition
for her little brother
to go to a private school
just to keep him out of there.
What were you doin'
talkin' to little, old ladies
and stewardesses?
Well, I mean,
when nobody answered here
and Elizabeth kept me..
Oh, it's such a long story.
Why don't I tell you
all about it over dinner?
I'm not really very hungry,
but you go ahead.
Oh. Okay.
[instrumental music]
[imitating a chicken]
Who's the chicken?
Marvin's the..
I am not.
Well, you're the one
who left me in the toy store
with that man.
Yeah, well, you didn't take
the yo-yo, did you?
So you're the
pak, pak, pak, pak, pak.
Well, you didn't take
the yo-yo, did you?
No, but I almost did.
Well, almost
doesn't count in a dare.
Well, if you're such a big man,
why don't you take it?
Okay, we'll make it a contest.
'You steal the yo-yo
and I'll take somethin' else.'
Well..
It'll be a double dare
to find out who is really the..
[imitating a chicken]
Okay, okay.
[bell ringing]
- Hey, Jackie.
- 'Hey, come on in.'
- You got a minute?
- Sure.
Just getting ready
for my next round.
"Hamlet."
Do you reach the kids
with "Hamlet?"
To try or not to try.
That is the question.
- I figured why not try.
- Hmm.
What happened with Michelle
yesterday, any luck?
No, I didn't get through to her.
Well, thanks for trying.
[sighs]
Maybe you'll get another chance.
Jackie, there was
a fight yesterday.
And rather a large one I heard,
right outside your office.
I didn't do anything.
I just froze.
Abby, I probably would have
done the same thing.
Don't worry about it.
- I felt so helpless.
- I know the feeling.
But sometimes
there is nothing we can do.
You know, my, my education
theory classes in college
were never anything like this.
I..
I don't know if I'm as prepared
as I thought I was.
You'll learn.
What if I don't?
[indistinct muttering]
Three or four?
Three or four vehicles, good.
"Now, driving with only
your parking lights on
is against the law."
Of course.
"Driving with your parking
lights on is advisable
on dark days."
It is advisable. Advisable.
"Driving with only
your parking lights
is a good practice
from sunset to dark."
Good practice?
Good, it is, it's good practice.
No, that's stupid.
I know, it's none of..
It's none of the above.
It's a, it's a trick question.
I give you that.
None of, none of,
none of the above.
They're tryin' to catch you.
Okay, what's this?
Window five for picture.
- Next.
- Hi. Hello.
Sorry.
Hope you don't
grade on neatness.
[sighs]
We should. We really should.
I can hardly read
what you've written.
People these days simply
can't write a decent hand.
I can't make out what you've
wrote here under occupation.
Oh, I-I'm...a writer.
My occupation is a writer.
[sighs]
Well, let's see, Mr. Bradwood.
Bradfood.
Bradford.
I'm sorry, it's not your fault.
It's, it's the way I write.
[whistles]
I'm afraid, you've failed.
Next!
What?
You've failed.
The law allows five mistakes.
- You made seven.
- No, no, that's impossible.
I, I've been driving
for , years.
You've probably been writing
for longer than that
'but you don't do that
too well either.'
(Tom)
'I never failed a test
before in my whole life.'
(Mary)
'It's not
the end of the world, dad.'
'You can always re-take it.'
Only next time, why don't
you study the handbook
just a little bit better?
Better? I never study
the handbook at all.
I mean, after
years of driving
why should I study a handbook?
To pass the test.
Now look, until you do,
you're just gonna
have to remain a passenger.
So...just sit back and, uh,
leave the driving to us.
[indistinct]
- 'Wait up, Tony.'
- Come on, let's go.
(female # )
I got it.
[indistinct chattering]
- Over, Barbara.
- Come on.
Look, you're
crossing this point.
Are you playing or not?
[whistle blows]
(female # )
'Break it up, girls.
Class is over.'
'Everyone get in
and get dressed.'
We'll wait till next time.
Looser.
It's a tricky catch.
I know what it's like
to be scared, Michelle.
Sure you do.
[instrumental music]
Get lost, Eddie.
Says who?
(male # )
'Says all of us.'
Maybe you didn't hear.
We just bought this hall
and now it's ours.
You're gonna have to find
yourself another way, Eddie boy.
Okay, okay, okay,
leave him alone. Let him go.
What's it to you, lady?
Dr. Bradford.
Oh...Dr. Bradford.
I don't see no white coat.
It's cute.
Why don't you just
get out of the hall
and stop terrorizing people,
okay?
Okay.
We made our point.
- Didn't we, Eddie?
- Spread the word, man.
[sighs]
You go too. Okay, Eddie?
[instrumental music]
And remember, now you got
to steal something too.
I thought of the plan, didn't I?
Now, come on.
[instrumental music]
- 'Did you get it?'
- Yeah.
- What did you get?
- Um, I got something.
Well, I don't believe you.
Let me see what you got.
I got this.
Marvin, you already had that.
I did not.
I saw it yesterday.
You did not. Come on,
we got to get out of here.
[sighs]
[music continues]
Why did they change
the speed law near a school
from miles an hour
to miles an hour?
That doesn't make sense.
Well, dad,
maybe children are better
at dodging cars these days.
Aren't you going
a little too fast?
I'm going the speed limit.
Oh, but, no, no,
the-the-the basic law
specifically says,
"You must never drive faster
that is safe depending
on road conditions."
The road conditions
are perfect, dad.
They could change.
Oh, wait a minute.
Now, didn't you
want to turn there?
If I wanted to turn back there,
I would have turned back there.
No, but that way is much faster.
Yes...but this way
is so peaceful.
[instrumental music]
Oh, Eddie.
[sighs]
[clears throat]
Did you want something?
You shouldn't have
stepped in on that today.
I was just trying to help.
I don't need your help.
I got my own way
of dealing with those punks.
Sure.
[chuckles]
And I wanna make sure
you understand
the rules around here.
It's very simple, doctor.
[sobbing]
Don't get...involved.
Okay.
[sobbing]
(Tom)
'You mean to say that
you didn't even report it?'
I was too frightened, Tom.
I just wanted to come home.
But that boy should be arrested
and thrown in jail.
He just wanted to warn me.
- 'Warn you about what?'
- Not to meddle.
Well, it won't happen again
because you're not
going back to that school.
- I can't just quit.
- 'Yes, you can.'
You can't be exposed
to the dangers there.
Please, Abby, now, for me.
And admit I was wrong for ever
going there in the first place?
At least admit that
you can't solve
all those problems at Memorial.
That you don't belong there.
I won't.
I have to do this, Tom.
Abby..
...you don't have to
prove anything.
There must be
a thief around here.
Thief?
Somebody keeps stealing
my guitar picks.
- I didn't do it.
- It's just a figure of speech.
There's got to be
one around here somewhere.
Tommy, what does
prosecuted mean?
Arrested and tried in court.
- Why?
- Uh, just wondering.
- Under the bed.
- What?
There's always one
under the bed.
No, I-I don't think so.
I just cleaned under there.
Oh, yeah?
Well, you didn't do it too well.
Look what I found.
I'm late for rehearsals.
I'll see ya.
Yeah.
[door closes]
[sighs]
(Susan)
'Well, I think Abby
is a lot more scared'
'than she is letting on to be.'
- Yeah.
- I think you're right.
Yeah, it must be
pretty rough on her.
If I were her,
I wouldn't go back there.
Me neither.
[sighs]
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Ice cream.
Just what I need
to soothe my nerves.
Oh, where have you been?
Oh, driving with dad
to the drugstore.
(all)
Oh.
That'll do it.
Oh, man, what are we
gonna do about him, guys?
I don't know,
but I am gonna go bananas
if I have to drive him again.
I mean, he is like
a little old lady.
It's just till he
gets his license back, gee!
Oh, yeah,
but who knows when that will be.
He intends to memorize the
entire handbook word for word.
Why don't we just
hire him a chauffeur?
(Nancy)
Wait a minute.
Who needs a chauffeur
when you have Tommy.
- What?
- He hasn't had his turn yet.
That's right, you guys.
He's got the time and the car.
So we just make sure
that tomorrow he gets
stuck with the job.
- Oh, no, but that's mean.
- But it's good.
[laughs]
(man on TV)
'A brilliant piece
of detective work, Holmes.'
'How did you manage to
anticipate the rascal's moves?'
(Holmes on TV)
'Elementary, Lestrade.'
'Even the most careful thief
makes one crucial mistake'
'that leads to his capture.'
Stopping distance
at miles an hour, . feet.
Stopping distance
at miles an hour..
...a hundred and five feet.
Stopping distance
at miles an hour..
Oh, shucks, what is..
[instrumental music]
Parking on a hill
wheels away from the curb.
Parking on a curb
wheels away from the hill.
Oh, that's not right.
Wheels away from the hill,
what the heck is this?
Oh, listen, can one of
you girls drive me to work?
I have an early meeting.
Oh, gee, dad,
I'm already late for work
and, well, your office
is sort of out of the way.
- Elizabeth?
- Dad, a friend's picking me up.
Well, who has my car?
Mary took it, she had to get
to the hospital early
and then Joannie's
getting it from her
and she's picking me up, and..
And the cheese stands alone.
'How am I going to get
to the office?'
Well, dad,
there's still one person
with a car who's not busy.
That's right. Tommy.
(Elizabeth)
'Dad, I think
he's still in bed.'
- It worked.
- I know.
Poor Tommy.
Jeremy, can I talk
to you a second?
- Sure. Talk.
- Well, I think I made a--
Nice talking to you, Nicholas.
Gotta run.
We'll have to do it again
some time.
Tommy, wake up!
I gotta talk to you!
- Nicholas..
- Tommy, wake up.
I gotta talk to you about
something important.
Nicholas, I was rehearsing
until : a.m. this morning.
- It can wait.
- No, Tommy, it can't wait.
I think I mad a crucial mistake.
Tommy, wake up. I need you.
Dad, I was rehearsing
until : a.m.
I need a ride to work.
You're it.
[sighs]
How can I give you a ride
to work if I can't even think?
Five minutes, Tommy.
I'm late enough as it is.
I don't have time to argue.
Nicholas, shouldn't you be
leaving for school?
I guess so.
- Are you alright?
- 'Yeah.'
Well, what are you
still fretting about?
Wanting that yo-yo?
What did you call it,
a speed roller?
Deluxe cosmic spinner.
And now I don't want one.
I wish I'd never even
heard of one.
Good, thinking that
material possessions
is the most important thing
in life is a big mistake.
'Tommy, hurry up!'
(Tommy)
'I'm coming! I'm coming!'
One crucial mistake.
[sighs]
[knock on door]
Come in.
(Joannie)
'Hi, Abby.'
- Hi.
- 'Morning.'
- You look pretty.
- Thanks.
How do you feel?
I feel...good. Good as new.
- Good.
- Mmm, slightly used.
- You sure you wanna go back?
- Yeah.
No.
I'm not sure I wanna go.
Well?
But I've got to.
Why? Because of dad?
No, because I wanted to work.
Well, Abby, you know,
lots of times
when people are att*cked,
they get, um..
Well, they feel like it's their
fault, you know, for some reason
and-and then
they overcompensate and..
I guess I just came in here
to say that nobody..
...is gonna blame you
if you decide not to go.
Got to go.
What's the matter?
I don't know.
I just gave it a tune up.
- That might explain it.
- Sounds sick.
Well, can you cure it?
It might take a while.
I've got to get to work.
[car engine revving]
[instrumental music]
And I'm the one
without the license.
[music continues]
Abby.
Where are you?
(Abby)
'I'm in here, Tom.'
Abby, are you alright?
What's the matter?
I'm fine.
Why are you home from school?
I've been sitting here
all day long.
This morning I went to school.
You know,
the kid with the Kn*fe?
He was up on the stairs.
I know it's probably
my imagination
but I felt like he was there
waiting for me.
And I couldn't get out
of the car.
I just turned around
and came home.
When I saw your car outside,
I-I had a feeling
that maybe something terrible
happened to you again.
I guess it all just
caught up with me.
I couldn't face it.
I was too frightened.
No, no, no, you were smart.
And I'm glad and relieved.
I feel so foolish.
I feel like such a coward,
you know.
I mean, I have..
I feel like I've failed myself.
I've never run away
from anything in my life.
No, no,
now don't blame yourself.
Memorial is
an impossible challenge.
I mean, the risks are too great
and you just chose
not to take any.
Look, let other people
do the crusading at Memorial.
You've got a beautiful future
ahead of you.
- If it ever gets here.
- Oh, they will.
What brought you home so early?
A taxi.
And believe me, it's the last
ride I ever intend to take.
I rushed home
so that I could study
every single page
of that driver's handbook
so I could salvage some dignity
before it's too late.
Well, anyway..
...at least there's
one less thing to worry about.
(Marvin)
'Nicholas!'
Hey, Nicholas, wait up.
Hey, Nick.
Where are you going?
Toy store.
The toy store?
Yeah, I gotta bring
the yo-yo back.
You must be nuts.
I gotta.
I made one crucial mistake.
'What?'
Taking it in the first place
is driving me crazy.
Why don't you just
bury it or something?
I'd still know that I took it.
You sure are a chicken.
[imitates a chicken]
I don't care if you think
I'm a chicken.
I'm taking it back.
See you around, sucker.
Nicholas?
You caught him doing what?
I'll be right there.
Nicholas?
Oh, hi, dad.
Hey, listen, I found out what
was wrong with the van.
- The fuel line was--
- Give me the keys!
- Clogged.
- Good, good, give me the keys.
But you're
not supposed to drive.
Please! This is an emergency!
Oh, well, yeah, here, sure.
Look, can I help?
I-I'll go with...you.
Excuse me, are you the manager?
Yes. Mr. Gregory.
Oh, you must be
Al Capone's father.
Yeah. Tom Bradford.
I'm sorry that
I have to call you.
That's okay. Where is Nicholas?
He's sitting in my office.
Seems little nervous.
Yeah, well, he should be.
Boy, I don't understand it.
I mean,
Nicholas has never stolen
anything before in his life.
Well, actually,
he wasn't stealing it.
- He was trying to put it back.
- What?
'Well, he evidently had taken
the yo-yo yesterday.'
- The deluxe cosmic spinner?
- Yeah.
Seems his conscience
was getting the better of him
so he decided to return it.
He keeps talking about, uh,
one crucial mistake.
Hey, look,
I'm willing to let matters drop.
I think he has
learnt his lesson.
'He seems like a decent kid.'
Right now, I'm not so sure.
Alright, Nicholas. Let's go.
Am I gonna be prosecuted?
No. Not this time.
You mean we don't
have to go to court?
This time you've just got me
to worry about.
[telephone ringing]
Hello.
Yes, who's calling?
Uh, just a minute, please.
- Oh, hi, Abby. It's for you.
- Who is it?
I don't know.
Somebody named Michelle.
Hello, Michelle.
[Tom sighs]
(Tom)
'I'm very disappointed
in you, Nicholas.'
I know you wanted that yo-yo
but I thought I had
taught you better
than to do a thing like that.
'Breaking the law
is a very serious thing.'
'It's not something
that you do on a dare.'
I'm glad that you decided
to return it on your own
but that doesn't excuse
the fact that you stole it.
'Just to make sure
that you get the point'
'there's gonna be
a lot of extra things'
for you to do
around the house.
You've gotta learn
to respect the law.
[police siren blaring]
Oh, no!
Hello, officer.
What seems to be the problem?
You didn't make a full stop
back there at that stop sign.
- Stop sign?
- Mm-hmm.
Say, nice passion pitch
you got here.
Oh, oh, yes,
thank you very much.
You look a little old
for it though.
Well, no, it's not mine.
It's my son's.
He looks a little young for it.
Not this son.
No, no, my older son.
He loan it to you, does he?
No, not exactly.
What happened is I lent my car
to my daughter because my li..
Becau.. Uh.. It's, uh..
It's, uh.. It's a long story.
I'm sure you don't
want me to sit here
and bore you with it.
That's right.
I just wanna see your license.
My license?
You know,
I hated moving to Sacramento.
I hated leaving
all my friends and all.
I'd never been to school's
biggest memorial.
Hmm.
It can be really lonely
when you're
surrounded by strangers.
Yeah.
What about your family?
Uh..
It's just my father.
What does he do?
Oh, he works, uh, he works
in the nights, at the factory.
Hmm.
And you? What do you do?
[chuckles]
Mostly, I, uh..
...I just daydream, I guess.
[both laugh]
I used to dream.
I-I had this dream
that I was, I was gonna
grow up and be somebody else.
Someone really special.
'And you?'
Maybe I..
I don't know, maybe I just
liked to be somebody
like, like you.
What made you call me?
I heard how you charged in there
when those guys
were hassling Eddie.
I said to myself, you know,
I should stop being so scared..
...of every little thing,
you know.
I was scared to death.
Yeah, I know, but,
but you did it anyway.
That's what was so terrific.
I don't know
if it was so terrific.
Maybe really stupid.
[instrumental music]
You're not coming back, are you?
I don't know.
Hi. I see dad
sentenced you to hard labor.
Yeah, two weeks.
Sorry, I didn't let you tell me
about it this morning.
I probably could have
saved you some trouble.
That's okay, I guess, it was
sort of one of those problems
I had to work out for myself.
Yeah, I know.
I stole a candy bar once.
Ate it and was sick
for three days.
- What did dad say?
- The usual.
He got kind of quiet
after the cop stopped him.
I'll bet.
Have you talked to Marvin?
Yeah. I called him up
and gave him another dare.
'What kind of dare?'
I dared him to come over.
[yawns]
"The speed limit when you come
"within a feet
of a railroad crossing
"where you cannot see the tracks
for feet
in both directions.."
Well, how do you know
enough to slow down
if you can't see the tracks?
[knock on door]
- Are you studying hard?
- Oh, with vengeance.
I cannot go into traffic road
until I pass this stupid test!
I know. I heard all about it.
This is one of the most
humiliating things
that's ever happened to me.
Where were you when I got home?
I was out walking with a friend.
This girl named Michelle Davis.
She's one of the students
at school
that I tried to counsel,
but I failed
at least I thought I failed,
and today she counseled me.
Oh. About what?
About...courage.
Standing up for yourself.
Tom, I've decided
I'm gonna go back to Memorial.
I'm gonna give it another try.
Back to Memorial?
But we had that all settled.
Well, it was all settled
until I talked to Michelle
and now I realize
I have a really good reason
for being there.
Tom, I helped her.
I got through to her.
And what about the boy
with the Kn*fe?
Well, I'll report it.
I mean, I have to be careful,
but I'm not gonna run away.
Now listen, I know I can do it.
Abby..
I want your support, Tom.
I need that the most of all.
Just be careful.
You can bet on it.
- 'Hey, you're back.'
- Yeah. Hi.
- I thought we lost you.
- Almost.
What happened,
you find something
you liked about this place?
Yeah. A small ray of hope.
See, it's just like
you said, I mean, uh
helping one, one kid
just seems so important.
Well, Michelle must
have been pretty persuasive.
How did you know we talked?
Who do you think gave her
your phone number?
Welcome back, Dr. Bradford.
Thanks, Jackie.
Um, I got to get going.
[instrumental music]
- 'Woo-hoo!'
- 'Alright!'
Hey, you call that a trick?
- Hey, buddy.
- Hi, dad.
Hey, Tom,
how was your day in court?
Well, since
I had passed the test
the judge decided to be lenient.
He said that my story was too
unbelievable to be unbelievable.
So I am finally a free man.
I'm just waiting now for my
license to come in the mail.
Oh, well, uh, you got
a letter from the DMV today.
- Maybe that's it.
- Where? Where?
Right here, dad.
We just all wanted to be here
when you opened it up.
Oh, no, no. I'm not suffering
any more jokes about my picture.
(Joannie)
'Oh, come on, dad.'
I think he's chicken.
That's right. I am chicken.
Alright, you can open it,
but promise not to laugh.
- It's a promise!
- No, we won't laugh.
- Oh.
- Oh, it's nice.
- Not bad, not bad.
- Great. Let me see.
- Yeah, see. It's okay.
- Oh, yes. It's not bad.
That's better than before.
Sort of cute.
[all laughing]
[theme music]
[music continues]
05x04 - Welcome to Memorial, Dr. Bradford
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.