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it was just a normal Saturday like the
51 other Saturdays that year a day to
get a haircut a day to go to work
a day to buy new sneakers it all seems
so ordinary so Saturday but as we all
found out it was about as ordinary as a
kick in the head
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you
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[Applause]
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this is the story of a Saturday you will
read about in any history book
they'll never honor it with a parade but
in its own way it was pure super genius
what was Wayne so juiced about his
brand-spankin'-new creme star
nightwalkers they were more than just
sneakers to Wayne they were eleven point
two ounces of all-purpose poly wolven
rubber soled perfection this is the
moment we've all been waiting for the
atmosphere electric crowd as we know put
his nightwalkers to the test the hardest
test was still to come
baby safe and clean we knew the job was
too big for the FBI or even the NFL it
was a job for a Krebbs cow
Wayne what are you doing here nothing
got a neck ache or something big whoop
big whoop Monica
these are nightwalkers you know
razor-sharp pivots pinpoint stops I was
hoping you'd protect them for me keep
them clean
no can do we know today not yet but I
will when I find him
ooh ninja the master of all things evil
he's elusive way no shadow
shifty that's why I earned this kind of
merit badge
to stop him before he reams this town I
will roll near block by block until his
b*ating heart rests in my hair
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home going home feels good man I can't
wait late
get ready get set three get ready get
set free
get ready get set
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Green get ready Get Set green green all
right mr. traffic light
get ready get set
Green maybe it's broken
all clear on the Western Front so whatta
we this puppy back into neutral hey
that's just safe driving and you know
there's nothing wrong with that
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hey Pete welcome to quick as a bunny
pizza you've tried the rest now try the
best oh thanks Ellen but I'm on my way
to get a haircut from barber Dan barber
dad isn't he the guy who's yeah he's the
guy who's been cutting my hair for years
he still doesn't say a word to me he
just cuts and cuts and cuts I'll cut
your hair uh-huh no today it's all gonna
change Pete's got a plan to make Dan
talk what it's legal I mean Pete said it
was you want to come over and watch as
Dan and I make barbershop history Pete I
can't leave there are people out there
who need pizza hot and fresh they're
depending on me besides if I don't get
it there in 30 minutes I have to pay for
it double cheese a brownie going west
platelet
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don't just stand there zip me up here I
come world quick as a bunny
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[Applause]
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hang on they say quick as a bunny bunny
to the rescue Wayne I know I know
I shouldn't have taken the shortcut but
I did and now oh boy oh boy am I in
trouble
look frosting I'm trapped no way out and
you're the only one who can save me quit
as a bunny funny
notice how the aerodynamic design of my
nightwalkers cut through the air like a
Formula one spoiler No
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good afternoon Wellesley it's time for
another wel L lucky luggage giveaway
today's lucky winner is Stu Benedict
pick up my postcard Stu if you call the
wel L contest line in the next 30
seconds and if you know our contest
catchphrase you win a free it was just
another Saturday in well film yep just
your average wonder what I'm gonna do
kind of day
it was just another ordinary Saturday in
Wellsville ordinary unless you're lost
in a bunny suit with a hot pizza to
deliver your new white sneakers are on
the endangered species list you're
trying to protect the free world from
evil
where you've only got 20 seconds to call
a radio station and win a free set of
luggage and with skytruss catchphrase
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well.2 benedict here large and in charge
a menace to you got through all right
now to get that luggage all I need is
our contest catchphrase you've got 15
seconds no problemo for radio that rocks
keep going Roxette radio for all ribs
that radiate no sorries - better luck
next time
[Applause]
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[Applause]
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[Applause]
thanks for playing Stu and remember for
radio that rocks it's gonna be wel L
well looks like it's just you and me
again Dan what'd you say the nightmare
was starting all over again
I knew Pete had a plan to make silent
Dan talk but until then I was on my own
you remember when when I was a kid and I
used to cry and and you give me a
lollipop or how about what I'd ask you
what that blue stuff was and you don't
waste say so what's it gonna be yeah
that's what you'd always say still a
little off the sides in the back
so Dan when you need a haircut
who cuts your hair I mean where does a
barber go when he needs a barber yeah
whoa whoa hello
so where is good old Lou anyway now I'm
gonna ask you one last time
what do you know that barber did nothing
I tell ya I don't know nothin
I figured if anybody knew what Dan like
to talk about it was Lou and if anybody
could make Lou talk it was Pete this
guy's making me laugh so making you
laugh jack oh yeah I'm making in my
pants over here who the barber don't
know nothing about nothing
[Laughter]
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what do you think this is some kind of a
joke my bra is on the hot seat
okay okay I'm trying to think
look if I needed thinking might have
Einstein here instead I have a two-bit
here but you like to you now what I want
from you is answers Footwear yeah
Footwear Dan is enough about quality
Footwear bingo
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what where are you sure okay I'm going
in thanks Pete hey I'm back
did you miss me so Danny Boy I've been
thinking about getting some new footwear
and you know I hear those CREB star
nightwalkers are pretty good are you
looking for razor sharp pivots pinpoint
stops increased trajectory well who
isn't
Knight Wallace yeah it was like I turned
on a switch
thanks to Pete's info dad finally opened
up to the years and the silence just
melted away
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unfortunately so did my hair dad what
happened sorry pal at all I talk and I
must have lost concentration somewhere
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nearby a Monica's pursuit of the dreaded
ninja it's going nowhere extremely fast
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hey ninja fighter have you seen the
blood of many battles wave we live in a
dumb stupid town there are no ninja
warriors here not even a speck of evil I
just wasted my whole Saturday no you
haven't
I know three people that need you mister
left mr. right and uh mr. cool sorry
Wayne you're on your own
hang me up my sword for good
and there was Wade all alone
was he scared no skip partners a tiger
no wait I need to find west plate Lavin
oh do you realize you almost ruined mine
I only have eight minutes left it's down
that way yes
[Applause]
not now I'm busy
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there's a bunny at my door come in mr.
bunny do what playin afternoon it's an
emergency
well mr. bunny MS bunny my apologies the
light is red and human world red means
stop
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[Applause]
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ninja I see through your disguise
you dare challenge me all right
I'll fight to the death
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oh my pizza and the ninja pizza Ellen
Monica nem is it really you
oh you made it with seconds to spare you
are quick as a bunny with brains to
match
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I'm sorry I tried to k*ll you that's
okay
what do you think so the kreb scout and
the magic money skipped merrily down the
lead
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I am king
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[Applause]
so that's the story of our ordinary
Saturday if you look at it one way you
might think it was a day we'd want to
forget look at it another way and you'll
realize why it was a day we'd always
remember
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03x13 - Saturday
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Centers around two brothers, both named Pete Wrigley, and their humorous and surreal adventures in suburbia among their equally eccentric friends, enemies, and neighbors.
Centers around two brothers, both named Pete Wrigley, and their humorous and surreal adventures in suburbia among their equally eccentric friends, enemies, and neighbors.