02x01 - It Happened One Summer: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ There's more to life than what you're livin'

♪ So take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ A brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times when I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail and at the end was you

♪ There's a path we take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ The nights are long but you'll find the way

♪ To a brand new life,

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life around the bend ♪

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Very good job.

-Now, did you clean behind the refrigerator? -Check.

-Uh, did you buff the floors in the closets? -Check.

Did you clean the bugs out of the light fixture

-in the garage? -Check.

-Is there anything I've forgotten? -The check.

Ah. (LAUGHS)

I just want to make sure everything's spick-and-span.

Yeah? Who ya got coming over, Tony Randall?

Oh, no, actually, my housekeeper's

coming back from vacation.

Oh. Well,

how nice for you.

No, no, no. It's really nice for him.

You see, he and his daughter have driven down the coast to Florida.

And, you know, it's so beautiful there this time of year,

and she really is a darling, and he's, well...

Well, actually, let's just say he really deserves a vaca...

A vacation.

(CHUCKLES)

(SPITS)

Do you and the table want to be alone?

Hi, Mother.

No, I just, uh... Cleaners missed a spot.

And you know Tony,

I don't wanna give him the satisfaction of walking in here and saying...

(IMITATES TONY) "Oh, this place looks like a grease pit."

Oh, Angela, come on, admit it now, hmm?

You just don't want Tony to think

you can't do without him, huh?

-That's not true, Mother! -Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

-(CAR DOOR CLOSING) -I hear a car door.

-They're here? -We're home!

-We're home! -Ah!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! My baby.

Hi. Oh! Oh, I'm so glad to see you.

Um, where's... where's Tony?

-He's unloading the van. -Oh, okay.

It's great to be back.

How was Florida? What did you do?

Did you go where the boys are?

Oh, I wanted to, but guess where Dad wanted to go?

(IMITATING MICKEY MOUSE) Hiya, Minnie! Hiya, Pluto!

MONA: Hey!

Hey, Mona!

-(SHRIEKS) -(KISSES)

Oh, I missed you, you big lug.

Oh, I missed you, too, Mona.

Every moment away from you was like an eternity.

Oh, hi, Angela.

You look so...

So... That's not to say you look so-so,

but, um, the three weeks hasn't aged you a bit.

Oh, thank you. I've stayed out of the sun.

It worked.

(BOTH CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY)

Hey, this place looks like a grease pit.

(PHONE RINGING)

Wait!

Allow me. I haven't done this in so long.

Bower residence. Tony speaking.

She certainly is. In all her glory.

-It's for you, Angela. -Oh.

-Um, it's Jonathan's counselor at his camp. -Oh, thank you.

-Hello. -TONY: So good to be home!

Oh! Oh, yes, Mr. Wormser.

Oh?

Oh?

Oh, no.

Yes. Yes. Yeah, well, I'll see you tomorrow then.

Thanks very much. Bye-bye.

-Something wrong? -Uh, no.

He just wanted to make sure that I would be up there for Parents' Weekend

and I may have to bring Jonathan back with me.

-What's the matter? -Is there a problem?

What? Has he got poison ivy?

Did he break his leg? Is he constipated?

What is wrong with my grandson?

He misses his mommy.

Why?

Ugh! Mother!

The child is homesick!

He misses Tony, he misses Sam, he misses you and the snake.

Well, at least I got billing over the snake.

Angela, when you go up to visit him,

why not bring something along to cheer him up?

Well, actually, I have baked him some cookies.

-Angela, the kid feels bad enough. Come on. -(LAUGHTER)

No, I'm serious.

Why don't you bring something that'll really cheer him up?

-Like what? -Like us.

No, we're not almost there,

and no, we're not gonna eat till we get to our picnic spot,

and if you wanna go to the bathroom,

you should have gone before we left the house.

I didn't have to go before we left the house.

-(GROANS) -I'm bored.

Oh, I know! Why don't we sing camp songs?

TONY: No. MONA: Oh, Angela.

Come on, it will be fun.

Oh! You remember this one?

♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya

♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya ♪

What?

"What?" Are you kidding me?

If we're going to sing songs, let's sing a good one.

♪ And there was Lonnie,

♪ Swinging on the outhouse door without her nightie

♪ All the guys were asking for more

-♪ And there was... -♪ Mona

♪ Swinging on the outhouse door...

♪ In living color

♪ All the guys were asking for more

♪ And can you blame 'em?

♪ All the guys were asking for more ♪

(CHEERING)

You sure didn't learn that song at camp.

The heck I didn't, and if you'd have sent Jonathan to my camp,

he'd be having a blast.

-Dad, you went to camp? -Yeah.

I sold the most subscriptions to Popular Mechanics. I had a great pitch.

I'd just say, "My name is Tony Micelli.

"Would you like to buy a magazine from me and send me to camp?

"Or would you rather I spend the summer on the streets...

"With my buddies... Near your car?"

(ALL LAUGHING)

Where'd you go?

I went to a Y Camp right up near Jonathan's.

I went to Jonathan's camp when I was a kid.

There was a Y Camp right across the lake.

-When were you there? -I don't know, '64, '65.

Oh, I'm sure I was there then, wasn't I, Mother?

You went there from '63 to '66.

The greatest summers of my life.

Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I think I remember that place.

Uh, that was Camp Stuck-up, wasn't it?

Yeah, all the girls had their noses in the air.

Yeah, that was me!

And, and you were one of those rowdies who used to steal our underwear

and run it up the flagpole, huh?

We always saluted.

This is incredible!

Angela, maybe you two knew each other.

-No! -No!

Because those girls wouldn't give us the time of day, Mona.

Oh, that's not exactly true.

I mean, even though those boys were

from the wrong side of the lake,

there was something illicit and intriguing about them.

Sometimes we used to...

-You... You know. -Oh, you mean the...

-Yeah. -(CHUCKLES)

What? What, what, what, what?

(LAUGHS) I...

I had my first grown-up kiss with one of those boys.

Oh!

That sounds so romantic and old-fashioned...

(SIGHS) So Sandra Dee.

Tell us about it, Angela.

Yeah. All right.

It was just one small insignificant moment in my life.

Nobody really wants to hear.

You're probably right, dear.

-Thank you, Mother. -No, no, no, I wanna hear about this...

This prim camper by day, teenage temptress by night.

Well, it was sweet.

And it was wonderful and it was magic.

You see, there was this place that was right by the lake

-and it was called Kissing Rock. -Ooh!

And if a... If a girl met a boy that she liked,

she slipped away from camp

and that's what I did,

one moon-drenched night.

I hurried to my rendezvous.

I glided across the forest.

I felt at one with the creatures of the night.

Finally, the woods gave way to a clearing.

And there he was,

my knight in shining moccasins.

And at that moment, I knew

I was a woman.

My face was aglow with expectation!

MONA: Are you sure it wasn't Clearasil?

-Mother! -(ALL LAUGHING)

Come on. That was a beautiful moment, really.

I mean, two kids with stars in their eyes,

sharing a stolen moment of tenderness.

Oh, wow!

Did you do stuff like that, Dad?

Well, you know, not exactly like that.

I mean, first of all, we called it Make-out Rock.

Oh, please.

And that's exactly what I did with a girl from your camp.

-All right. -I cannot believe this.

You are gonna compare my moment of romantic awakening

with your night of cheap thrills?

I hope so.

Ho, ho, hey, hey, ho.

Who said anything about cheap thrills?

She was the greatest. I'll never forget her.

-What was her name? -I forget.

But I'm telling ya something,

if there was a kissing decathlon,

she'd have won all 10 events.

This girl had an extra set of lips.

And they say poetry is dead.

Hey, I remember, it was a hot summer night,

and I do mean hot.

But I was cool.

There was something in the air,

you could almost smell it.

Then I came into the clearing and there she was.

She was kinda tall and clumsy,

but there was something about her...

MONA: Yeah, she was a girl.

(ALL LAUGHING)

It's great!

Hardy, har, har.

MONA: Aw.

Wait a minute. I may be way off on this,

but you got to admit, the stories do sound alike.

I mean, the moon and the rock and...

What are you saying? Come on!

Oh, no, maybe she's got something there.

Don't you see! This is kismet! Fate!

Destiny that took two kids who kissed 20 years ago

and reunited them.

-Come on, Mother. -Come on!

No, look. Out of all the housekeepers and all the employers in the world,

some great force brought you two together.

Mona, it was you who introduced us.

See what I mean?

Well, I know for a fact that it wasn't you

because I, unlike some people I know,

remember the name of the first person I kissed

and his name wasn't Tony, it was Anthony.

BOB: You can open up with me, Jonathan.

I'm the camp psychologist.

Why do you think you're homesick?

I guess because I miss home.

A-ha!

I think what you must be experiencing

is a classic case of separation anxiety,

often found in families who are torn apart by w*r,

people who are forced to relocate,

or disoriented white rats.

(YELLING)

What is all this ruckus?

There's psychology going on here.

-We're just going down to the lake for a swim. -Yeah.

You wanna come, Bower?

Well, I don't know.

-Oh, that's right. We forgot about the nutcake here. -(LAUGHTER)

Don't make fun.

There's a time b*mb ticking in every one of your little psyches.

And who knows when it might go off?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Jonathan,

don't pay attention to those...kids.

Just remember,

I'm okay, you're okay.

Everyone else is toe-jam.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND YELLING)

Hey, don't take any prisoners!

Hey, Angela, this place is terrific.

Yeah, it sure brings back a lot of memories.

Oh, down there, that's the mess hall,

and then way over there is the nature cabin.

And then, oh, way over down there,

that's where we used to sit and sing songs around the old campfire.

-Oh, no. -Yeah, it looks like you're singing

around the old satellite dish now.

(LAUGHS)

Does the old flagpole look familiar, Anthony?

Mother, will you stop calling him that? It wasn't him.

Yeah, and besides, Mona, it was a Y Camp.

-Everybody's named Anthony. -(LAUGHS)

Come on.

Knock-knock. Sweetheart, are you there?

Hey, it's my mom!

Son, when you're homesick,

everyone begins to sound like your mom.

ANGELA: Sweetheart!

Oh! Oh, my baby, are you all right?

Mom, do I have to stay here?

Of course not, darling.

We'll take you home first thing in the morning.

-Can I sit in the front seat? -Of course you can.

Can I be in charge of the radio?

You can listen to any station you want.

Is she always this indulgent?

Are you always this nosey?

Yes. I'm Bobby Wormser, camp psychologist.

Ah, a camp with a shrink. Very good, Angela.

Hey, Jon. What do you do around here for fun?

Well, mostly we analyze my dreams.

(ALL GROAN)

That's no good. Look, this is camp.

Why don't we do camp things like hiking,

or riding horseback

or looking for knotholes in the boys' shower.

-Ooh, sounds good to me! -Yay!

I mean the horseback riding.

You do have horses here, don't you, Jonathan?

I don't know. Smells like it.

-Sweetheart, why don't you go ahead? -Okay.

I want to talk to Mr. Wormser.

Oh, you can call me Dr. Bob.

Great.

Uh, maybe your husband should stay here as well.

No, I'm not her husband, I'm her housekeeper.

And childhood sweetheart.

Happy trails, Mother.

Come on, buckaroos, let's mosey.

-Bye, Dad. -See you later. Have a good time.

Um, Mr. Wormser... Uh, Dr. Bob.

Maybe you can help us out here.

Why is my son so homesick?

Well,

I think that he...

misses home.

Well, I've gotta go. I've got arts and crafts.

Angela, I learned something very important today.

Never trust a shrink in a raccoon hat. That guy! (LAUGHS)

Well, maybe he's just not ready for camp.

Maybe we'll just send Jonathan next year.

Hey, maybe you should try a new camp next year.

Why don't you send him to that Y Camp I went to.

-Great time! -(SCOFFS) Oh, no.

You mean the camp where the boys don't remember the names of the girls they kissed?

(CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, come on, Angela.

Why are you still bugged by this?

I'm not "bugged" by this.

I would just like to know, I mean, I already know,

I would like to be sure who it was and who it wasn't.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

-Let's go up to Make-Out Rock. -Kissing Rock.

What good is that gonna do?

Well, after I kissed her, not you,

I carved her name, not yours, in the rock.

-You did? -Yeah, yeah.

-How very sweet! -Ah, you know.

-For her, not me. -Yeah.

(SIGHS)

Jonathan,

I do not believe you wanna leave this place tomorrow.

Well, Sam, it's only fun when you're here.

Well, when you got it, you got it.

Where's Grandma?

Oh, she was right behind us, don't worry, let's go.

MONA: Giddy up, tally ho!

Hi, ho, b*llet, away!

Come on, move, or you're glue.

Okay.

Okay, I'm in reverse. I'm in reverse.

Oh, my gosh, I'm in reverse!

Whoa! Whoa, big guy!

Oh, boy, Angela, it's getting dark

and there's a storm coming up.

-Maybe we should just forget about this. -No, no.

Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, oh, that tree over there looks familiar.

Angela, it's a pine tree.

I mean, pine trees are common in a pine forest.

Look, look, I know how to find this place, okay?

Which way do you think it is?

-That way. -Okay, good.

We'll go this way. Come on.

Come on.

(ANGELA GROANS)

There it is, Tony.

-It's the rock. -(CHUCKLES)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Angela, are you sure you wanna go through with this?

Well, we both know it wasn't us, right?

Right. But what if it was?

Well...

Then that just means that we kissed each other...

twice.

Once when we were kids

and once when we were tipsy

and you kissed me in the kitchen.

Angela, we were blasted and you kissed me.

Whatever!

Hey, Angela, one thing though.

No matter what's written on this rock,

Mona's stuff about fate and kismet,

that's way out of line, right? Way off base, right?

Way off base.

-Let's look. -Okay.

Mary Lou,

Mary Lou,

Mary Lou...

Gee, she was a busy little bee.

(LAUGHING)

Angela, I found it! I found it!

Anthony...

...and Ingrid.

Ingrid?

Ingrid.

-Well, it wasn't us. -Yeah.

You see, Angela. Geez.

There's no unseen force pushing us together.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

MONA: It was a night just like this.

The wind was howling like a dying cat.

The rain pounded relentlessly against the window.

The report from the nearby mental institution

said that the infamous Camper k*ller had escaped.

(KIDS GASP)

This lunatic would bludgeon anybody

whose name was sewn into their underwear.

Oh, look! It's the lunatic!

MONA: You're right.

(KNOCKING)

-Yes! -I came to tell you that it's raining.

Oh, thank you.

No, there's more!

There's more! Open!

The camp road is flooded and nobody can get in or out.

Look, you boys will have to double up

and you two ladies will have to spend the night here.

Well, I'm off.

I must warn the others!

Sleep well, America.

Dr. Bob rides again.

Hey, Mona, what about Dad and Angela?

Oh, don't worry, honey.

Your dad knows enough to come in out of the rain

and he can help Angela.

But, Grandma, how am I gonna get home?

Don't you worry, honey.

My goodness, it's not gonna rain forever.

-Yeah, Bower, and if it does, we'll build you an ark. -(LAUGHTER)

You heard what that Wormy said. We gotta double up.

I guess it's you and me.

You, me and your two broken arms.

Well,

here it is, the Presidential Suite.

This is the Presidential Suite?

Well, Teddy Roosevelt liked it.

Sometimes, on nights like this, he still comes around.

Well, bully for him.

Listen, we're soaking wet here. I'll take this one.

You got something little nicer for the lady?

This is the nicest room we got.

This is the only room we got.

Uh, maybe we should just try to wade back to camp.

Did you ever get hit by lightning?

I did.

But you might not like it.

Look, Angela, we're stuck here, okay?

Well, sleep tight.

Don't let the bed bugs bite. (CHUCKLING)

-Tony... -What?

This won't work.

We can't stay in the same room alone, together.

Why not? What's the big deal?

There's two beds, we're adults,

we sleep under the same roof at home.

It's not the same.

What do you mean it's not the same? It is too.

It's me and you here.

It's not like I'm holed up

in a small motel in a thunderstorm with Ingrid.

I mean, hey, if I was with Ingrid, there might be trouble. (CHUCKLES)

Yo, Ing. Come here, baby.

Tony...

I'm Ingrid.

You're Ingrid?

Yeah.

Wait, what do you... What do you mean, you're Ingrid?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) Well, I know...

I know it sounds silly now,

but I was a little nervous that night,

and it was my first kiss

and, well, I didn't want the boy...

Well, you, to kiss and tell,

and so, I said my name was Ingrid.

Why Ingrid?

I had just seen Casablanca three times.

I remember the night so clearly.

The whole world was quiet

except for the sound of crickets.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

And then suddenly,

we were moving toward each other.

(BIRD HOOTING)

And then, I looked into his eyes...

TONY: And then we kissed.

It was you.

It was us.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)