♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪
- ♪ In living color♪
- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon ♪
♪ It's never too late
and it's never too soon ♪
♪ Take it from me
It's a'ight to be ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ How would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete ♪
♪ And all mankind danced
to the exact beat ♪
♪ And at night it was safe
to walk down the street ♪
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ Everybody here
is equally kind ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ What's mine is yours
and what's yours is mine ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ How would you feel knowing
everybody was your friend ♪
♪ From thin to thick
and through thick and thin ♪
♪ And egotistical trips
was put to an end ♪
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ You can walk on the moon
Float like a balloon ♪
♪ It's never too late
and it's never too soon ♪
♪ Take it from me
It's a'ight to be ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ How would you feel knowing
prejudice was obsolete ♪
♪ And all mankind danced
to the exact beat ♪
♪ And at night it was safe
to walk down the street ♪
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪♪
Ladies and gentlemen,
Keenen Ivory Wayans.
[Applause, Cheering]
[Audience Whooping]
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right. Thank you.
I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans
and welcome to In Living Color.
We've been having a lot of fun
here the past few weeks.
So, you know, I've been getting,
like, a lot of letters...
people asking me what I like
most about doing the show.
And I guess
it's working with my family.
And I'd like to start by introducing
my baby brother and my D. J...
- S.W. One.
- [Applause]
What you doin'
with my shoes on, man?
These ain't yours.
I'm gonna wear those.
Take them off, man. Give me my shoes.
- Oh, come on, man. These ain't yours.
- Gimme my shoes.
How you gonna do this
to me, man, on TV?
Why you go in my closet?
All right. Now I want to introduce
my Fly Girls, starting over here...
with Cari, Deidre, Michelle...
Lisa and Carrie Ann.
Yeah.
- All right. We about to get things rolling...
- Keenen.
It ain't funny, man.
Gimme my shirt.
Come on, man.
You said I could wear it yesterday.
Give him the shirt, man.
[Cheering, Applause]
[S. W. One, Indistinct]
Chill out before
I take my chest back.
We'll be in a minute.
Let's go.
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪
♪ In living color♪
[Man] On FOX this fall,
a principal breathes new life...
into a failing beauty school in the
uplifting miniseries Lean On Me, Beautiful.
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen!
My name is Joe Clark.
I am your new principal.
Now, when I point to you,
I want you to line up.
You, you, you and you
and you, line up now.
Expeditiously.
Now, I want all of you
to take a good look at them.
Take a good look
at these mutants.
These are the ugliest kids
in the class.
They have no place here.
I want you all to go home
to your ugly parents right now.
Get on outta here.
Hurry up! Move on!
You too, buzzard!
This is an outrage!
You can't talk to my students this way!
I'm going to
the school superintendent.
Well, go on then. And let the door
hit you in the big putty butt.
Why, I never!
I bet you have not.
Now, do you know what they say
about you out there? Huh?
Grease head, do you know
what they say about you?
They say that the reason
you're in a beauty school...
is because you're too stupid
to go to a regular school.
I happen to think they're right.
But when I'm through with you, you'll be
the smartest dumb people out there.
- What do you want, ugly?
- I don't wanna go!
[Sobbing]
Come with me, boy.
- Come here!
- [Continues Sobbing]
Now, what makes you think
you can be a beautician? Huh?
- What makes you think you can give beauty tips?
- [Stammering]
Look at yourself. You're ugly, boy.
Is your parents ugly?
- Yeah.
- You're gonna grow up to look just like 'em.
If you got ugly parents, you might
as well just jump out the window.
- Do you use chemicals in your hair?
- No.
- Do you use chemicals in your hair?
- Yeah.
Now you got a bad perm
and you're ugly.
The world don't need
another ugly boy with a bad perm.
- Just go on and jump, son.
- Okay.
Now, what are you all
looking at? Huh?
- Let me hear the school song.
- Uh-uh-uh-uh...
Let me hear
the school song now.
We don't have a school song.
- You don't have one?
- N-N-No.
- Then make one up.
- Uh-uh-uh...
♪ Fair Wilford Beauty Acad... ♪
You can do better than that.
♪ I said Wilford Beauty Academy ♪
- ♪ Wilford Beauty Academy ♪
- ♪ I gotta mean ♪
♪ Yes, indeed
I'm doin' hair ♪
♪ Sit in my chair
I'm doin' curls for little girls ♪♪
Mr. Clark...
I think it is a disgrace what you
have done to those children.
I can see why they
call you "CrazyJoe."
- You are an egotist and a demagogue.
- Excuse me, children.
- May I talk to you outside for a moment?
- Follow me.
Carry on.
- Now, how dare you take those children...
- Don't you ever...
[Clark Continues Yelling,
Indistinct]
She used to call me "CrazyJoe,"
now she just calls me "Bat Man."
I want this place
cleaned up right now!
[Yelling, Indistinct]
No, Joe! Joe, no, Joe!
There's been a mistake!
You weren't supposed to
come to Wilford Beauty School.
You were supposed to come to
Wilford Central High School.
You'll have to go, Joe.
But I got so much more
to break up.
I don't make the rules.
Well, I'm sorry, children.
I'll no longer be your principal.
I've been reassigned.
Don't go, Mr. Clark.
We need you!
We love you, Mr. Clark!
Yeah, Joe, don't go!
I mean, who's gonna give me
that extra push I need?
- Boy, you children really are stupid.
- [Chuckles]
Well, maybe I should
stick around.
Looks like they're gonna
need somebody to lean on.
- Yea!
- [Man] All righty then.
♪♪ [Singing]
Lean On Me, Beautiful: TheJoe Clark Story,
Part II, only on FOX.
I found true love and happiness.
And I found the guy of my dreams.
And you, too, can enjoy
interracial splendor...
[Together]
On the Mitzvah Train.
So why not climb aboard
the Mitzvah Train...
the city's premiere
Afro-Judeo video dating service.
Bridge some of those cultural gaps
while doin' the wild thing.
You'll find you have a lot more
in common than you thought...
sl*very, hard-to-manage hair,
Sammy Davis Jr.
Hey, maybe your grandfather
was your date's slumlord.
- Mine was.
- So why not give it a try?
That's right. I didn't know
a matzo ball from a basketball...
till I met Mitzi.
Ahmad taught me
the Roger Rabbit dance...
and I was even able
to try it out at a Kool Moe Dee concert.
I love my Yiddish mama so much,
I've had myself circumcised...
twice.
And I'm thinking about
going back for another cut.
So come on down
to Mitzvah Train.
And remember, we're not only
the owners of the Mitzvah Train...
[Together]
But we're also clients.
You are strong. You are beautiful.
You are perfect.
Welcome to the show
for, by and about women...
Go On, Girl.!
I'm your host
Shawanda Harvey.
Many of you have read my book
Eve Stands Alone.
In this book, I try to
encourage women to be strong...
independent and unencumbered
by the fetters of a man's world.
Today, my guests are two women that say
that my book has changed their lives.
Let's welcome, from the New City
Dance Ensemble, Keyana.
- [All] Go on, girl! Go on, girl!
- All right.
All right. And prominent artist
Lavonia Bufume.
- [All] Go on, girl.!
- All right.
Keyana, you are strong.
You are beautiful. You are perfect.
- Yes, I am!
- Yes, you are!
How has my book
changed your life?
- Shawanda...
- Mm-hmm.
- When I first became interested in dance...
- Mm-hmm.
- The male entity that I was dwelling with...
- Mm-hmm.
- He didn't support me.
- Go on, girl.
Girl, he tried to trivialize
my womanly creativity.
- No! Mm-mm-mm.
- Yes, he did.
But your book...
your book showed me...
that I did not
need a man to validate me!
- [All] Go on, girl!
- All right.
- [All Sigh]
- I'm gone!
Lavonia, you are strong.
You are perfect.
What about beautiful?
Of course you're beautiful.
Don't you have a similar story?
- Oh, I most certainly do. Do you know...
- Mm-hmm.
- That when I wanted to take art lessons...
- Mm-hmm.
My significant other
was too cheap to pay for them?
Typical, sister. Typical.
Then he used to have this line he would say
to me, " A woman is as sweet as honey...
[Guests] as long as
she don't want no money."
Girl, my significant other used to say
the same thing to me.
Girl, go on. Then, he tried to
make it up to me...
by buying me this cheap,
fake African necklace.
You know, I used to have
a necklace just like that.
- No! But I showed him...
- Yeah, girl.
That he wasn't nearly as significant
as he thought he was.
- [All] Go on, girl. Go on!
- That's right!
- And now you're an up-and-coming artist...
- That's right.
- And you don't have to depend on a man.
- That's right.
- But, girl, you can't depend on a man.
- I know you can't.
- My man took art lessons.
- Go on.
- He came home with all these nude drawings.
- Mm-hmm.
Talk about he don't need
no nude model to draw 'em.
- Go on. Not to me.
- Do I look like a fool to you?
- Not my sister!
- Girl!
You talk about up and coming?
I heard that. I can't trust my Umbatu
as far as I can throw him.
- Umbatu? That's my man's name.
- Umbatu!
Oh, sisters, sisters!
No, no, no!
I'm sure that's
just a coincidence.
Come to think of it, you even look like
the girl in the pictures.
Oh, now, sister, you know how art is.
You can't ever tell.
Art nothing. I recognize
her big butt anywhere.
Oh! Big butt, honey?
At least I got one.
- A man's gotta have something to hold on to.
- Is that so?
Sisters, remember,
"Go on, girl."
- You better go on!
- Go on!
- And speaking of something to hold on to...
- Yes.
He better not try holding on to
that fake hair of yours.
- Go on, girl. I mean, go on, girl.
- Oh!
Oh, see now, you need to
take your flat behind...
no dancin', wanna be on Soul Train
or Africa...
send you back to America
wherever they found you.
- Oh, is that so?
- That's right!
Sisters, you are fighting over a man.
You don't need that.
- Remember, Eve stands alone.
- Well, it's television.
All right. Well.
Now, all together,
"Go on, girl."
[Guests, Unenthusiastically]
Go on, girl.
Well, that's it today
for Go On, Girl...
the show by, for
and about women.
- Didn't you lose on Star Search?
- That's it!
[Overlapping Yelling]
First of all,
we must internalize...
the "flatulation"
of the matter...
by transmitting the effervescence of
the "Indianisian" proximity...
in order to further segregate...
the crux
of my venereal infection.
Now, if I may retain
my liquids here for one moment...
I'd like to continue
the "redundance"...
of my quote, unquote,
"intestinal tract," you see...
because to preclude
on the issue of world domination...
would only circumvent...
[Clears Throat]
Excuse me,
circumcise the revelation...
that reflects
the "Afro-disiatic" symptoms...
which now perpetrates
theJheri curls activation.
See, so by the...
Do not misinterpret the chauvinistic...
[Man] Give to the United n*gro
Scholarship Fund.
Because a mind is a terrible thing
to develop without help.
Allow me to expose
my colon once again.
The ramification inflicted
on the incision...
placed within
the Fallopian cavities...
serves to be holistic...
taken from the Latin word
"jalapeño."
[Man] Coming this fall
on Too-Too Ethnic.
- Mm-mm-mm. Whoo-whee!
- What?
- Uh-huh. Mary!
- [Scoffs]
- Nu-uh, honey. Child.
- Word.
- Ooh! She's up.
- Hush! Girl, I'll pull your .
You need at
/ , , you hear me?
- Oh! Be there!
- Be there!
[Man]
This fall on FOX.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
♪♪ [Rapping]
♪♪ [Continues]
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Timmy.
Where's Lassie?
She's outside. I'll get her.
- Lassie!
- [Traffic Noises]
Oh, Lassie!
[Growling]
[Barks]
Mom, can Lassie and I
go out and play?
I don't think that's a good idea, Timmy.
This just isn't a safe neighborhood.
Don't worry, Mom.
Lassie will protect me.
After all, there's no breed of dog
that's smarter, more loyal...
or more protective
than a pit bull.
You and Lassie are to play indoors and I won't
hear another word about it, young man.
- [Growls, Barks]
- Mom, I think she's trying to tell us something.
Well... Well, what is it, girl?
There's danger?
- [Barking]
- What danger?
From land? Fatherland?
[Barks]
You think there would be some danger
in the reunification of Germany?
Oh, Lassie,
I understand your concerns...
but the political climate today is much
different than it was years ago.
[Barking]
Maybe we should stop lining Lassie's dog bed
with U.S. News and World Report.
I think you
might be right, Timmy.
- [Lassie Growling]
- [Man] Hey, somebody get this dog off me.!
Help.! Help.!
[Screaming]
What do you have there, girl?
It's an arm.
Somebody lost an arm.
It's a good thing
you found it, Lassie.
Maybe the owner
will give us a reward.
I'll just put it over here
with the other arms, Timmy.
[Lassie Barking]
Listen, Mom. I think Lassie's
trying to tell us something else.
What's that, girl?
Open the letter?
Why...
Oh, Timmy,
it's an eviction notice.
They're trying to throw us out of our home
for harboring a dangerous animal.
Now, what animal
could they be referring to?
That's it, Mom!
That's what Lassie was trying to tell us.
Not "fatherland," "landlord."
See, we were in danger,
and Lassie was helping us.
- Come here, girl. Let me give you a big hug.
- [Lassie Barking]
- We owe you a lot.
- [Growling]
- Jeepers! We love you, Lassie.
- We love you, Lassie.
[Yells]
[Man]
Richard Pryor is back.
[Mumbling, Indistinct]
- Oh!
- And this time he's more scared than ever.
[Mumbling, Indistinct]
Ooh, nasty.
[Continues Mumbling,
Groaning]
[Screams]
[Yelling, Indistinct]
Richard Pryor is
Scared For No Reason.
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
♪♪ [Continues]
[Laughing, Chattering]
It's really hot.
I sure wish I could take a dip.
- Well, why don't you?
- Well, it's that time...
and I'm not sure
of my protection.
Girlfriend, it's time you switched
to a more absorbent brand.
Here. Try these. Vortex II.
I'm using them now.
Hmm.
[Suction Sound]
[Wind Whistling]
[Slurping Sound]
Hey! Hey!
[Woman]
Vortex II. It's superabsorbent.
Where'd the water go?
All right.
Thank you. Thank you for joining us.
We hope you had a good time.
Crystal, tell 'em what to do.
Tune in next time.
[Audience Whooping]
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
♪ In living color♪♪
01x03 - Episode 3
Watch/Buy Amazon
Sketch comedy series strove to produce comedy with a strong emphasis on modern Black subject matter.
Sketch comedy series strove to produce comedy with a strong emphasis on modern Black subject matter.