02x14 - Helping Hand

[bunniefuu]

Sorry, kids, don't be upset,

But I have to cancel
wizard class today.

- Yay!
- Yes!

Because you have so
many chores to do.

Seriously, you have a
lot of chores to do.

Oh, good. Recycling is on the list.

Uh-uh-uh. And one of the best
things about recycling is...

...You get to use it again.

mother.

You told us to never take
things out of the garbage.

Food. And I was
talking to your dad.

These kids do not know
how to eat a chicken leg.

There's another side.

Dad, you know I love chores
because alex hates them.

But I can't do them today.

I wanted to surprise you,
I'm gonna say it anyway,

But I've been working
on my own spell

For wizard certification. I am.

Oh, please. Wizard certification?

That sounds like something
people would make up

Who aren't very good
at making things up.

My son, justin vincenzo pepe russo.

I've always wanted my own spell.

Pepe. I can't get enough of that.

It makes fun of itself. Pepe.

This is so exciting.

I want you to focus on the spell.

Alex and max will
handle your chores.

I can't do all these. Harper and I

Are going to creature feature
confidential tonight.

They project a scary movie
on a side of a building.

Oh, cool. What movie?

That's what makes it confidential.

No one knows the
movie or the location

Until you get the texts.

Well, that's hardly more important

Than justin creating
an original spell.

Thank you, dad.

Oh, and alex,
when you vacuum the rug,

Try to leave a vertical
light/dark pattern.

Mom loves that.

I really do.

♪ well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ that the end will no
doubt justify the means ♪

♪ you can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ yes, please ♪

♪ but you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪

♪ when you write a report
on a book you never read ♪

♪ with the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ that's what I said ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ you can get all you wanted
in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ you might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ when you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ because everything is not ♪

♪ what it seems ♪

Wow. Justin, I'm proud of you.

Your new spell will make the
russo name live on forever.

Thought you said the russo
name would live on because all

- The grandchildren you'd have.
- Yeah, that'd be nice.

A spell would be great though.

Ok, I think it's ready.

Stand back.

X, x, extra hand take a stand

Give us a hand!

Lightning. It's alive!

It's alive!

Your new spell is a woman's hand?

I can't wait for the grandchildren.

dad, check it out.

You know how you need an
extra hand around the house?

Ok, so you made an extra hand!
What's it do?

It does all kinds of things.

Pretend you're a busy wizard
who needs help with something.

All right. Uh...

I could use a back scratch,
but because I'm so busy

Casting spells with
these hands, I'm...

No, wait. I'm painting.
I'm painting with both hands.

No, I know. I'm trapped in a box.

I've always wanted to do this.

Dad.

Hand, do your thing.

Ooh. Oh. Little down.

Left. Left.

Little down more. Down.

In... It's...

Over... that tickles.

The other way. Oh, right there. Ah!

Wow!

That was awesome. Thank you, hand.

Plus, it will tie your shoes,
iron your clothes,

Find your glasses,
and it's cpr certified,

Especially since medical
authorities agree

That you don't need
to use mouth-to-mouth.

Awesome work, justin,
especially on the cpr thing.

You know what? We should write
to the superintendent of spells

- And get this certified.
- Yes.

Hand!

too slow.

Nice one.

Even the things I
create do that to me.

Oh, no, I'm not falling for that.

Son.

You know who I think is really hot?

The guy who invented paper plates.

Look on the bright side, alex.

After this, all you've got
to do is mop the floors,

Clean your room, wash the windows,
scrub the restaurant,

And then you can go to the
creature feature movie.

We're not going to
the movie, are we?

Not unless you help me
break some of these dishes.

Hey, that's a good idea.

Alex.

There's a hand on
your dad's shoulder

And it's not connected to a body.

I'm not sure whether I
should scream or laugh,

So I'm going to do
both at the same time.

You know, dad, normally,

I'd say something to get
out of work right now,

But that hand on your shoulder
is kinda freaking me out.

This is justin's spell.
It's called helping hand.

- Will it slap him?
- No.

Well, then it's no help to me.

I designed it to lend a
helping hand to busy wizards.

I'm so proud of you, justin.

This spell is going to put the
russo name on the wizard map.

I've got something that'll put
our name on the wizard map.

Ok. How about a spell
to make clear plastic

That's sticky on one
side and it helps wizards

Put drawings on the refrigerator.

I'll call it russo's sticky strips.

You know, that sounds
vaguely similar to something

That we have right
here called tape.

Oh, man.

This is even better than mine.

It has a convenient, clear holder

And a serrated edge for clean cuts.

All right. I got to prepare
for my presentation

For the superintendent of spells.

- Gotta iron the shirt.
- No, no, son.

You're too busy for that.

Alex, add "iron justin's
shirt" to your list.

Ok.

"burn justin's shirt."

Look, I'll help you and maybe

We can get the work done
in time for the movie.

That sounds like a good idea if
it wasn't for the "work" part.

If only we had a box

That contained a hand
that liked to work.

I thought of that, but I was hoping

You wouldn't get there because,
you know, it's just trouble.

Harper, don't you ever hold
back another devious idea again.

You're good at it and you
need to start owning it.

Wow, alex, I've never
seen your room so clean.

I didn't even know you had a desk.

That's a desk?

All right, nice work, hand.

I couldn't have done
it better myself.

Probably because you wouldn't have.

Yeah, you got that right.

It's the creature feature text!

We are going to see night of the
Halloween sorority party disaster .

Awesome. I heard it's
so scary that they have

To have emergency medical
technicians standing by.

Now all we need is the location
text and we're good to go.

Whoa. What do you
think you're doing?

You're not done.
You've barely started.

So roll up your sleeves and
give it some elbow grease.

Oh, wait. You don't
have sleeves or elbows.

Nope, nope.

Stop it. You are not... Ow!

You're finishing the chores.

Alex, it's ok. She did a lot.

You and I might be able
to finish the rest.

Don't make the freaky hand upset.

No. She's got to finish my chores

Or we don't get to go to the movie.

Then I don't think
we're going. Look.

And I was going to get you a
manicure when you were done!

You said you were gonna make
her give you a manicure.

Shh.

hey, maxy.

You're not making an antenna to
talk to martians again, are you?

We're wizards.

Why does everyone think it's
crazy that there's martians?

Oh, watch.

Dad, don't you just hate it
when your back starts to itch

While you're brushing your teeth?

Huh? No.

How are your chores going?

Then let me introduce you to
my brand new magical invention:

The russo tooth and back brush.

See, you can brush your teeth

And scratch your back
at the same time.

Max, that's not a
magical invention.

Dad, come on. You know when
you scratch a good itch,

It's pretty magical.

Hey, is that my back scratcher

I keep between my
mattress and box spring?

I need this for when your
mom pretends to be asleep

And won't scratch my back.

Well, I would, honey,
if you'd return the favor,

But you're all like... Done.

You know what, I'm gonna come
up with something really good.

You'll see.

Ex, do you think we're really
going to catch the hand this way?

Of course we are. It's a hand.

It's a total knucklehead.

get it? It's not...

It's the location text.

We're gonna see the movie
on the flat iron building.

We've gotta finish
cleaning this place up.

- We haven't caught the hand.
- Or done the chores.

Why do you make it so hard
to take the easy way out?

Alex, why do you make taking
the easy way out so hard.

'cause I like the easy way out.
Shh, there it is.

This thing is strong.

Let's just put it back in the box,

Finish cleaning,
and go to the movie.

No way. Forget that.

This hand is gonna
finish what it started.

You stop it.

Oh. Oh?

Oh, so you don't do windows?
We'll see about that.

Ha. Who's cleaning now?

The hand, that's who.

Ha.

Alex, aren't you
doing all the work?

No. I'm working hard to make
sure the hand does all the work.

Duh!

Are you sure you're not
doing all the work?

Harper, what are you not getting?
Don't you see her?

That's everything on the list.

I think it's tired. Fine.
I'm done with you.

Justin isn't. He needs the
hand for his presentation.

It'll be okay. I'll just
put it back in its box,

She'll get some rest and
we can get to our movie.

wow.

Alex, this place is spotless.

Did harper help you?

Why does everyone find
it so hard to believe

That I did this all by myself?

You see, doesn't it feel
good to do all your chores?

Have fun at your movie.

Alex, you better put that
thing back in the box.

Where is it? It was right
here on the counter.

Justin must have taken it back

Into the lair for his presentation.

Then how are you supposed
to get it back in the box?

I have an idea.

okay, justin, let's go
through your presentation

One more time before the
superintendent gets here.

You seem a little nervous.

Are you sure it's not you?

Oh, I am. You're right.

- I feel faint.
- Ok, sit down.

Let's take a seat.
Breathe. Breathe.

No, it's ok. I'm all right, son.

You, you go ahead.

alex, are you done
with your chores?

Uh, yeah, just one more thing
I need to take care of.

Well, we're busy rehearsing.
Get out.

Oh, let me hear it.
Maybe I can give you a hand.

Ok, fine.

I created helping hand for
wizards who like to multi-task.

So, with helping hand you
can do a number of things

At the same time.

Alex, are you all right?

Yeah, my hand just fell asleep.

The superintendent's here.

All right. Well, good luck.

I'm off to the movie you said
I could go to when I'm done

And I'm done,
so I'm off to the movie.

Oh, alex. No.

Your brother could use an audience.
You have to stay.

You can help with some "
oohs" and "ahhs."

But the movie's about to start.

Alex, your brother needs you.

Ok, uh. "russo, justin."

- Yes.
- You're next.

- Shall we?
- Come on in.

Uh, superintendent spellman,
may I offer you

A selection of meats
from around the world?

Are you trying to bribe me with meat
that's sweating more than you are?

Let's get started.

Ooh. Ahh.

Alex, you have to wait
for the presentation.

Man, my dogs are tired.

I've got to air these puppies out.

I can't do this at the office
or I have to fill out a form.

Ok, let's get to it.

- Uh, yes, let's get to it.
- Right away, sir.

Who wants iced tea?

I'd love some iced tea.

Oh, great.

Tastes like somebody
washed their hands in this.

Oh.

I'm really thirsty.

Ok, here we go.

I created the helping hand for
wizards who like to multi-task.

Ooh.

so...

You're answering your
wand phone with one hand,

While battling a
dragon with the other.

Then suddenly your feet get tired.

No problem for the helping hand.

How about a foot rub?

Foot rub.

no problem for helping hand.

I said, "no problem
for the helping hand."

I haven't got a lot of time.

Either your spell
works or it doesn't.

Oh, no, it works, I've seen it.

Wake up! Rub his feet.

Um. I know, why don't I
just get it started here.

Ooh. Ahh.

Come on, you're supposed
to be helping people.

A spell with an attitude?

I might be able to overlook it,
if it actually worked.

Ow!

This is not looking
good for you guys.

Sorry.

Bad, bad.

Introducing the cooperative foot.

Really? Now?

I can't believe I'm about to say
this but alex, do something.

If you ever feel like kicking
something but you're too tired?

Jerry! What are you doing?
He just wants your attention.

Oh, I'm sorry. Alex, zap him back.

In about a half an hour.

We have to leave for
the movie right now.

We'll end up sitting in the bushes

Looking up from the
bottom of the wall.

I know, I'm trying.

We need to wait for a little
more chaos and we can sneak out.

Uh, superintendent spellman,
I am so sorry.

I had no idea that any
of this would happen.

This morning, the hand was...

- ...So helpful.
- Just give my son a minute.

I'm sure we'll be
able to work this out.

Ok, I'm backing out.
I'm backing out. And I'm out!

You can't leave justin like this.

He created the helping
hand to help others,

But instead you
used it to help you.

- Don't you feel responsible?
- Don't you?

You're my best friend.
You know I'm up to no good

All the time. You should
be ashamed of yourself.

- Alex.
- Harper.

Oh, I hate it when you're right.

Excuse me, don't go anywhere.

I just need a moment
with the helping hand.

Alex, what are you doing?
It's over.

Fixing something. The kind of
thing you told me not to tell you

Because you don't want to get involved
and then... I'll be right back.

Look, hand. My brother
worked really hard on you.

Just because I don't enjoy
hard work doesn't mean

I don't appreciate
it when I see it.

Besides, you're mad at me.

Don't hate him because you hate me,
we're nothing alike.

Believe me.

Please do this for justin.

And for me. Oh!

Ok, fine. Only for justin.

- And we are back on track.
- Hand, do your thing.

Oh! Oh! Yeah, down.

Down, down. Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, ooh, ooh, right there.

Right there. Right there.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, oh.

Mama.

Do you mind if I show
this to the board?

They're always looking for a good back
scratcher at the wizard gift shop.

Whoa. Oh, that was crazy.

I sold the foot,
made a fortune, lost it,

Brought a hundred-year-old
man from india back to life,

And got a new nickname.

Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed.

Wait, max.

Listen, you know I'm
proud of you too, right?

Dad, I know.
The man from india told me.

He also said that one day humans
are gonna have gills again.

Can't wait!

Gills.

He makes it so hard to be proud.

You know, I never thought
I'd say this but,

Night of the Halloween sorority party
disaster was better than one or two.