05x22 - What About Discord

Episode transcripts for the TV show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Aired: October 2010 to October 2019.*
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05x22 - What About Discord

Post by bunniefuu »

Didn't we just shelve all the books
in the library a few months ago?

Yes, but that was because
we needed to!

This is just because
I want to!

I call it my 'booksort-cation'!

Three uninterrupted days
of reorganizing books.

Can you think of anything
more relaxing?

Well, claw massages,
back rubs, bubble baths...

You weren't really looking for
an answer, were you?

I've even devised a better
system for organizing them!

It decreases the amount
of time it takes to find

the book you're looking for by
nearly three quarters of a second!

Whoa. That much?

Look at them all!

Why, there must be at least twenty
thousand books to organize!

Best long weekend ever!

I'm sure we can make some time

for a claw massage and a back rub too.

Yes! Best long weekend ever!

Whoa! That strange
yellow orb in the sky!

What is that?

All right all right, so it's been a little
while since we've seen the sun.

A little while? We've been in
that library for three straight days!

Yes, but they were three
very productive days!

Even if you did take that
two-hour claw massage break.

Hey, you promise a claw massage,
I'm getting a claw massage.

It's not like we missed anything.

Hello, Twilight! Hi, Spike!

Hi, Rainbow Dash.
Good to see you, Discord.

Did you rehearse before
you found us?

What makes you think
we practiced?

Come on, Rainbow Dash.

What's going on here?

Sorry. Me and Discord
are just messin' around.

Like we do.

Since when?

Oh, Twilight. We simply had

a momentous time together
these past three days.

You could say it was...

hiss-terical!

Sneaky snake!

Just snaking around!

Good one, Discord!

It is?

Kind of an inside joke
from this weekend.

You wouldn't really get it
unless you were there.

Oh. Okay!

Cool, well, uh, catch you
later, Twilight!

Catch you later, Twilight.

That was strange, right?

Since when have Rainbow Dash
and Discord had inside jokes?

Since sometime in the
last three days, I guess.

Hey! Nopony made you join me
on my booksort-cation.

I'm jokin', I'm jokin'!

Rarity?

Twilight, you've returned from
your book sorting sabbatical!

All that organizing has done
wonders for your complexion!

Thanks! It was very relaxing.

And we were able
to clear a shelf for

those old-fashioned books
you wanted to donate!

Oh, pfft, they're not old, darling,

they're vintage, and
they're over there!

I've even included
my favorites by

former Canterlot designer
to the stars Rococo Froufrou!

Oh, I love her!

Him.

Both.

Twilight! This makes twice
I'm seeing you in one day!

Aren't I lucky?

Weren't you just with-

Hi Twilight! Hi Spike!

How was your booksort-cation?

It was good!

Orange you glad you did it?

Orange you... You're a card!

Oh, please. You'll make me blush.

You do seem to be turning
a shade of- orange!

Oh, sorry darling, you see we
were at Sweet Apple Acres,

and, uh, ooh, how to explain...

Well, let me try and paint her
a picture, dearest.

Dearest?

You see, we were all
at Sweet Apple Acres,

and I ended up turning the trees
into the most-

Oh, who am I kidding?

I simply can't do it justice.

You really had to be there.

We would've invited you
to come along too,

but we didn't want to interrupt
your organizing.

We know how important
it is to you.

And I'm sure it was much more important
than the fun that we had, haha.

I appreciate that...

Speaking of books, I should
get these on the shelves.

Hmm. Rainbow Dash
bonding with Discord,

Rarity finding something he
did genuinely funny?

Must've been some weekend.

Somepony sorry she missed it?

Of course not.

What's got you two in hysterics?

Oh, we were just reminiscing
about the best weekend ever!

He's everywhere today, isn't he?

Oh, now where was I?

Ah yes, we had just
finished our soup,

"and then Applejack said,"

' Peanut butter hoof?
Yuck, not even with jelly!'

Eh, I don't get it.

It was hilarious! I wish we'd
taken a picture for you!

Oh, well this should do!

I guess that's funny?

Well, seems this has become
quite the sticky situation!

Sticky situation!

Aw, shucks Twilight, we haven't
even asked

how your weekend went!

It was fine!

And yet you look so glum.

Does somepony need
a huggy-wuggy?

I am not glum, I'm glad!

I'm glad you all had such
a good time together.

Having inside jokes can really create
a lasting bond between friends!

I'm just sorry that all this
bonding happened

while you were holed up
in your castle.

Heh. Oh, don't you worry
about Twilight.

Bet you were in hog heaven
organizin' all them books!

Again.

I'm sure I had just as much fun
as the rest of you!

I can't believe I missed out
on all that bonding!

I knew it, you are jealous!

Spike, I'm the Princess of Friendship,
I don't get jealous.

I'm sorry I missed out because
sharing that experience

would've helped me with my
Princess of Friendship duties!

Come again?

If our friends could enjoy three full days
with Discord that much,

it must have had something to do

with the specific things
they did together!

If we can find out
what those things were,

it could be a real breakthrough
in the science of friendship!

Oh, I guess so.

I know so! You thought our
booksort-cation was fun?

This is gonna be even better!

Thank you for coming.

I wouldn't have asked you here
if it wasn't important!

I love important!

I want to know how these funny
moments you shared came to pass.

I can use this data to help advance
friendships all over Equestria!

Well, I like the sound of that!

Perfect. Let's start with the snake.

I don't know if I can get it out!

It's too funny!

Oh but we must, it's
for the greater good!

It started when we were helping
Granny Smith with her garden...

Ah, I reckon you mean
my sister Apple Bloom.

Eh... All you Apples
look the same.

And then Rainbow Dash
saw a snake!

I think it was a garden hose.

It was a hose snake.
Super deadly.

I recall it bein' a large stick
that looked like a hose

that, in turn, did in fact
resemble a snake.

Point is, we galloped away.

And it chased after us!

The hose? A snake? A stick?

A snake! - A hose! - A stick!

We literally trotted
for our lives.

Isn't that hilarious?

I guess you had to be there.

I do need to be there.

But you weren't! And it's
already happened!

Ooh, are you suggesting...

Time travel?!

Absolutely not. Time travel is not
something to be messed with.

We simply need to recreate everything
that led to these jokes.

Oh, what a brilliant idea!

Shall we begin with the
lunch date that kicked off

the glorious weekend
you missed out on?

Are you sure it was this table?

Uh, does it really matter?

When it comes to science,
everything matters.

One change to the equation
could ruin the experiment!

Ohhhhhh... it was this table here.

All right, so you sat down at the table,
and then what happened?

Oh, well first, I expressed
my displeasure

with the design of the menu. It-

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I
just noticed something.

Yes?

The tablecloth. It isn't
the same color as

the one the restaurant used
on the day in question.

...Really?

He's right! The tablecloth was red!

I remember because it clashed
with the font on the menus.

I don't suppose that
means we're gonna

need to get a new
tablecloth, does it?

Oh, most definitely.

One change to the equation
could ruin the experiment.

Twilight said so herself.

Anything stand out
as being different?

Anything at all?

Um, I've noticed
a couple of things.

Me too!

Excellent!

A little to the left!

No, my left!

A little bit more...

oh, no, no, no no, on the...

more right!

The cloud over our table looked
like an ice cream sundae!

Perfect!

No no no no no, this is
barely room temperature!

Garçon!

Garçon, over here!

No? Nothing?

Are you sure there's not
something you've missed?

Some other detail about your lunch
together that you're forgetting?

Well I don't know about
the rest of you

but I feel we've been pretty
exhaustive in our attempts

to recreate every single detail
of our previous encounter.

Yeah, Twilight.

If you don't get it by now, I don't
think you're ever gonna get it.

But it is really important
that I figure this out!

It's for the good of all Equestria!

Well, perhaps we should
have another look

at the data that we've collected.

Of course!

There is one last variable
that we haven't accounted for.

What?

You!

Me?

You weren't there observing us.

No matter how hard we try,

we can't possibly recreate our weekend
of fun exactly as it happened

because you'll always be watching,
and you weren't there.

Mmmm.

He makes a good point.

It has only served to
prove that moments

of levity and bonding between
friends simply cannot

be recreated so that others
might share in the experience.

He makes another good point!

Oh don't worry, darling,

I'm sure there'll be plenty of
other chances for you to share

in the kind of frivolity we had
with Discord while you were away.

Yeah, and I'll bet they'll be
just as hissssss-terical!

Absolutely.

I'm not buying it.
Not for a second.

There is definitely something else
going on here, Spike!

Or, maybe there isn't,
and you should just drop

this whole thing and admit
that you're a little jealous!

Even if I'm not able to
laugh at what happened,

I should be able to figure out
why they find it funny!

Why they think they had this
amazing and hilarious time together,

but I can't figure it out!

It doesn't make sense!

Some things just
can't be explained.

Our friends think something great
happened to them while I was away,

but maybe it was something awful!

If we don't break the spell
they're under,

who knows what terrible
things could happen?!

...Spell?

Come on, Spike!
There's no time to lose!

Zecora, what do you think?

Can you undo Discord's magic?


In what way can you tell that
they are indeed under a spell?

They're having fun with
Discord, that's why!

Ah, a friendship with Discord
is truly a shock,

but who says it is something
that we must block?

Trust me, they would
never laugh like that

unless something magical
was involved!

It's not that funny!

I know funny.

All right, this potion
will break the spell,

then you will be able to tell.

Wait. If that's the potion, then
what's brewing in your cauldron?

It ties the room together
and emits a warm glow,

but if I am to be honest
it's just for show.

I wonder why she asked us
here so bright and early.

Another map adventure, perhaps?

Nope, no glowing tushies here!

Or maybe it's more
of a non-adventure.

Maybe she just wants to tell us
how last night's slumber went?

Hey, g*ng!

Ooh, you look excited!

I am excited! We're gonna
have fun today!

Yes!

Just one tiny, miniscule, microscopic
thing before fun times.

I need everypony to sip this potion
to break Discord's spell on you!

A what now?

Don't be embarrassed.

So what if Discord cast
a spell on you

so you thought you
had a great time,

and now you have all
these inside jokes

that you seem to be
constantly laughing at?

Don't worry!

You didn't have your
defenses up, I get it!

You're kidding.

Twilight, darling, we simply
had a nice time with Discord.

As I recall, we spent much of yesterday
afternoon re-enacting it for you.

Uh-huh. Or, you re-enacted
what you thought was fun,

but really wasn't because
you were under a spell

that made you think what
happened was fun!

What kind of fertilizer have you
had your nose in, Twilight?

Be honest. The only reason
you won't drink the potion

is because deep down
in your hearts,

you know there's a chance that
Discord has you under his power!

Twilight, how could you
say such a thing?!

I know Discord still makes
mistakes sometimes,

but you're accusing him
of being downright evil!

Yeah! And to top it off
you're accusing us

of not being able to tell he
was up to something!

What do you take us for?

Yeah! What do you take us for?!

Dee-licious!

Got any more, Twilight?

Hi, Twilight! The g*ng mentioned
we'd all be hanging out together today!

The g*ng?

Yeah! The peanut-butter-hoof g*ng!

It's still funny!

So much for that
whole 'spell' theory.

Ugh... but it's still not funny!

It's funny if you were there.

But I wasn't there!
I wasn't included!

Maybe it's my own fault for
staying in and having a booksort-cation

when I could have been
making jokes and memories

and having a great time
with my friends!

But I didn't do that, did I?

You all did!

You were all there but—
I wasn't there.

I missed out.

And seeing you having all
these jokes I wasn't a part of

and couldn't understand made me...

Jealous?

No. The Princess of Friendship
can't get jealous!

Sure you can, Twilight, and
none of us begrudge you for it.

We're sorry if we made you
feel left out.

You didn't do anything wrong.

You're allowed to share things
that don't include me.

And you're allowed to feel
a little jealous about it.

You just have to be
able to admit that

that's what you're feeling
so you can let it go!

And, you know, not try
to make us recreate

everything that happened
when you weren't around.

Of course none of this
would've happened if I hadn't

encouraged everypony not
to invite you this weekend.

They wanted me to be there?

And you convinced them
to not invite me?

Well, I didn't think that
they should interrupt you.

But now I see that
we should have.

Oh, I feel just terrible.

You don't look like
you feel terrible.

Better?

Wait a minute. You didn't
suggest not inviting Twilight

because you wanted to make her
feel left out, did you?

Of course not. That whole jealousy
thing was just a happy accident.

Certainly we can all agree
that Princess Twilight

learned a valuable lesson here,

that even she can have
feelings of jealousy,

that she should recognize
said feelings

rather than trying to pretend
that she doesn't have them...

Did I get the tiniest bit of
glee out of watching her

try to recreate our weekend
of fun in the name of science?

Oh, most definitely!

But what's important here is
that it was never my intent

to make Twilight feel jealous,

that's something that the old me
would have tried to do.

Orange you glad I've changed?

I said, Orange you glad
I've changed?

Orange! Like the lunch at
the Applejack farm!

I mean from this weekend!

No?

Nothing?

Really?

I thought you'd find this hisss-terical!

...Yes, no. Discord, I think these
jokes have run their course.

Only way we'd find
them funny now is

if you put us all under
some kind of spell!

Come on, you'd have to be
a complete crazy pony

to think he'd do something
like that!

What are you gonna
say next, Pinkie,

that we all have to drink some
weird potion to break the spell?

Wh-what's so funny?

Come on, Discord, do we really
have to spell it out for you?

I, I, I don't get it.

Somepony want to tell me
what's so hilarious?

Anypony?

Hello?!

I'm talking to you! You!

And, and you and you!

Wh-what's funny about spells?

I mean, really,
I really don't get it,

I feel left out and I feel
really bad about this...

Sorry, buddy. Guess you
had to be there.
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